I worked at a daycare, and we had a little girl that was deaf. I’ll never forget one of the teachers, yelling into the bathroom for her and getting mad she didn’t answer… I’m like.. she can’t.. she can’t hear you.
Oh geez ;_; In my elementary school we had a boy who is autistic. Teachers didn't know how to deal with him and was treating him the same like other students, with threating to call the police when he was screaming, not reacting when children from other groups were mocking him. I'm glad that these 16 years later schools are more aware
I don't think most people are trying to disrespect deaf persons, Ive never spoken to a deaf person and think it would be quite hard for me to talk to a person who can't really answer me, it is normal to pay attention to the person raising their voice therefore it might be confusing to talk to one person while the other answers especially keeping attention on one person while the other person talks
@@gebackenerstein135 They're good at reading lips, and most often have someone who can translate for them. If not, we live in the age of smartphones. It's not that hard to pull one out and write it out on there.
I have the opposite problem. My wife has PTSD and severe anxiety, so she wants me to speak on her behalf during stressful situations. I often get dirty looks or snide comments as if I'm trying to control her or something.
And also because people probably still want to double check with your wife, and you can't tell them they're a trigger without betraying your wife's info, unless she's comfortable with it being shared.
I had this happen once with my ex. He got nervous a lot and while I had social anxiety too, I was better at handling those situations so I’d usually speak for the both of us. One time we were in a restaurant and the waiter basically told me off for speaking for him and ignored me. I get it but you just don’t know other peoples dynamics so I think it’s a bit weird
I have both those things and people often call my husband controlling too. They have no clue how much I appreciate him taking over when I'm overwhelmed. You're doing great taking care of her, don't worry about anybody else :)
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question? I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
@@MathildaMolanderMolin it's because the interpreter is just there as the deaf persons ears and voice. you should look more at the person you are talking to than the "helping device" which in this case is a person. The interpreter acts as a bridge between you two to successfully communicate, but not as their own participator in the conversation and therefore should be mostly ignored while in conversation with the deaf person.
@@LeeraChan isn't it rude to ignore the interpreter? Or at least make notice of them? I mean if they are saying what the deaf person are telling me, i feel like it's natrual to look the way the sound is coming from and then reply by looking both of them in the eyes, since both are there to listen. Am i wrong or should you just act like the interpreter are basicly an electronic device or app, like Google translate?
My husband sat with me at the doctors for an emergency visit. When they asked him who he was, I answered. At no point did they ask him anything directly again - even when the doctor had a question that pertained to him. I will demand my presence!
Why is this a thing?? I know it's very different as I am hearing but I have vision loss, one time I came out of an optometrist appointment and saw my dad who was also getting his eyes checked at the same time. Our conversation literally went: Me: Hello Dad: Hey, how'd it go? and before I could say anything the optometrist popped up and started telling my dad all of my medical information, including information he had not told me. The optometrist had not been informed who the man I was talking to was, as far as he was aware it could literally have been anyone who I knew well enough to greet casually, even co-worker. I was pretty peeved but I was early 20s and still shy to stand up for myself. The optometrist was pretty bad, kept yelling at me during the appointment because I couldn't see things or tell apart letters on colours (idk it was a weird test)... I seriously wonder why on earth he thought I was there! Also I've never looked my age, since about 11 years old people have assumed my younger brother was my son. So I imagine by 20 or 21 I probably looked 25. People asked me at that age if I was married but I'd still get carded in some shops so 🤷
I work at McDonald's, and there is this lady who comes through who can't hear or speak. So she pulls up, I can spot her car and I immediately pull out my phone which has a writing feature and offer it to her so she can tell me what she would like. Sometimes she texts me ahead of the time so when I see her I can ring her in, which management may not know or care about this. But I just like making this lady's life easier, as I couldn't imagine being in her place.
@@RiddleMrs Yes, you can order on the app. But he app has its limitations, and some of her requests are not available for the app. Also this lady was old school, she owned and still used a flip phone in his day in age.
I worked in a veterinary ER, people had to ring a buzzer for us to talk to them over an intercom. One day we had a woman who was deaf and panicking at the door. People thought she was crazy until I went out and found out she couldn’t hear us. I’ll never forget how scared she was. The other receptionists were rude saying she should have had someone with her. It was awful. She could lip read and no one wanted to be polite and take their mask off to talk to her. Still infuriates me to this day how poorly she was handled. Thankfully her pup was ok. Don’t work there anymore.
Those types of coworkers are insufferable everywhere, but in medicine it gets me even more angry. Tbh, some days I have to check my own judgemental thoughts about things/people and remember this is not a normal day for them, and that's just working in an office as an MA.
to be fair, deafness is a spectrum and doesn't always mean a complete lack of all hearing, so in some cases raising the volume of your voice does help. BUT you should always ask first what you can do to improve communication rather than just start shouting and looking silly.
@@miagreen9005 thank you for adding that. I forgot to say that raising the volume doesn't mean yelling because yelling changes the mouth shapes. the volume change should come with breath control and leave the mouth movements the same.
I believe Molly Burke(who is blind, but can hear and speak fine) had a similar situation with a massage therapist. She was with her mom and the therapist asked her mother what Molly wanted. Molly answered herself because she is a grown-ass woman who knows how to speak for herself.
It happens to disabled people all the time. Happened to me with someone who was accompanying me because I had to visit a specialist doctor in the city and it was dangerous for me to go alone due to the traffic and my visual impairment. She was basically a paid employee of my country's disability insurance and the doctor asked her intimate questions about since when I had my health issues etc. She just looked at the doc going ??? Why are you asking me that, I'm just here to help them across the street. I don't even fucking know that person, I've met them for the first time 15 minutes ago.
Usually my mom has the habit of answering all questions the doctors direct towards me and over exaggerate everything. I was so happy when once this particular doctor told her that he specifically wanted to hear me voice my concerns, and she's hasn't been doing it anymore 😭
Best GF I ever had was born deaf. We just passed notepads back and forth and got along just fine while I learned some rudimentary signing. This was a few years before cell phones were common and texting was an option. I still kick myself for being too young and dumb to appreciate her enough to stick around.
I work in a doctors office and when speaking to deaf or non English speaking patients I always look that pt in the eyes and ask them questions and tell them where their room is. How lonely would it be if everybody just ignored you and only spoke to the person interpreting for you. It's much more respectful and they appreciate it a lot more when you look at them and speak
I had a psychiatrist, English wasn’t his first language, my mom and I entered visits with him, and a lot of times I wouldn’t understand what he said, so I’d turn to her and she’d tell me, (I was a kid and grew up rural south, hadn’t had much experience with heavy accents) I thought asking him to repeat himself really frequently would be ruder but now I’m wondering how much I had hurt his feelings. He was always so nice, would notice if I got a haircut or new glasses even when my own dad didn’t 💔
Thank you very much ♥️🙏. As someone who translates for their parents I appreciate it. It's a great gesture on your part to address the patient and not ignore their presence.
@@missybennet1594I get you, I have permanent hearing loss in one ear and sometimes when I call or go the pharmacy I get to speak to the pharmacy tech who's Vietnamese and I really have to concentrate on listening. 😅
That's fine for a short interaction, but the idea of having a full blown conversation through an interpreter feels awkward. You're sitting there, talking to someone who you know for a fact cannot hear your words. Then the 3rd party has to sign what you said to them, then you wait for them to sign their response back. I mean, as a hearing person, if a deaf person suddenly came up to me and started signing away at me, knowing full well I don't understand, I'd find that weird as hell. The entire point of having an interpreter is so the deaf person can communicate with hearing people and vice versa, so I don't see how looking at the interpreter when you don't understand sign is somehow offensive. Why would I watch someone sign at me when I don't understand them? Same goes if someone started talking to me in French. I don't speak French, I'm going to ignore you...
@Missy Bennet aw you were a child! Children don't really understand always you know? I'm 30 years old so I had a little bit of experience 😆 I'm sure if I was also appointing time When I would do the same thing so don't beat yourself up over it!
I think it’s important for everyone to get a quick primer on how to speak to someone using an interpreter/translator. You don’t need to speak to the interpreter, filtering every sentence with “can you ask her what her full name is?” You just speak to the person normally “what’s your full name?” and the interpreter takes it from there. They’re facilitators of the conversation, not participants. It might feel weird at first, but it’ll go much smoother. There’s only a few adjustments you should make, like using shorter sentences. And thank the interpreter before & after for their help, that’s when it makes sense to speak directly to them
I'm not deaf but something similar happened to me as I was going through kidney disease at 14. All of the doctors would talk directly to my dad instead of me. One time, he looked at the doctor and said, "She's right there. You can direct your questions to her. She's more than capable of answering."
@@shannonkingman1265 people are acting like it's rude that she's trying to talk to the mom but it makes sense when no one can understand a single word she's saying.
This problem is so common for disabled people and so old that there was a BBC radio series about disability rights that ran from 1977 to 1998 called "Does He Take Sugar?"
One time I worked at a call center and an interpreter called and told me she speaks for a deaf client. I didn't see him, I didn't hear him but I knew he was there so I tried my best to always talk to him and not her. Sometimes I slipped and said "He needs to do blabla" but corrected me when I noticed and said "You" and called him by his name to make an appointment for him. That was kinda tough, but when the person sits right in front of you, just talk to them.
I work in the medical field in a predominantly Spanish area and sometimes it’s hard to know who to address when it’s the child speaking for their older parents but we learn in school to ALWAYS address the patient no matter what. It’s about respect
A friend of mine had hearing impairment but wasn't completely deaf. She had a doc for female issues and she told them to just slow down a smidgen. SHE looked at her and asked if she had a S/O that would be able to help. I was there, but she didn't need me because all she needed was the person to slow down. Very fluent in reading lips She was back there for approximately 5 min before she came back basically sobbing. Yeah, a complaint was filed
I work retail and my favorite customers are deaf people. Because I don't have to worry about being heard. I have a quiet voice, so I speak the most comfortably with deaf people. Though they have to write for me. They're always the nicest people too. There's a regular who's deaf, and he told me about these coasters he makes out of horseshoes, and brought one in for me to see. They're really cool. I love when people bring me their projects to share xD I work in the craft department.
Ngl I've struggled with who to talk to in situations where an interpreter is present. I absolutely never screamed at anyone like this. I think my brain just naturally wants to go to the person who is speaking to me, even though I know the person needing the interpreter is the person I should address. I also struggle with 3 way conversations in general. Never want to make someone feel invalid, it's just not a typical thing I get to practice socially a whole lot.
But being aware of it and trying to correct for it makes all the difference. Usually people with a disability won't care as much if they see you clearly trying to be helpful and respectful. Or if you have (respectful) questions on how you can best accommodate them.
My husband has a HOH brother who now has a cochlear. He is alao a special education teacher and had a class of 3 deaf students. He was the FIRST teacher they had that talked to them. Most of them were in 11th and 12th grade. It truly broke my heart.
They do the same with people with wheelchairs. My grandad is in a wheelchair and my mam had to go with him to some of his appointments and when I was younger, I would sit in with them. There was this one particular day, my grandad was at the doctors for something my mam didnt know much about, and the doctor kept asking my mam his name, his age, what was wrong with him etc. So eventually my grandad got snippy and ended up asking questions about the doctor to his assistant behind him 😂😂. My mam is only there for if he needs to sign or write anything and to help him get up out of his wheelchair because not only does he only have one leg, he had a balance problem and cant write properly. I also remember, I was 8 and sitting in again. It was with the same doctor and I could see my mam and grandad getting annoyed so I said "He can speak you know!" Let's just say i got sweets and that when we left the doctors 😂😂
Jesus this comment section is breaking my heart. I have an invisible disability which comes with its own drama but how awful for you. If it helps there's a woman in australia who read your comment and her stomach literally turned in disgust for you.
@@plutonium2 Thanks. I have been banned from going to me grandads appointments with him now because I stand up for him 😂😂. People always think that people with disabilities or special needs aren't capable of speaking for themselves and its heartbreaking anf disgusting at the same time. My family have quite a few people with autism in it and the amount of people that take advantage of that is unreal. From the North East of the UK, I really hope no one has treated you this way or will ever treat you this way
I once had a colleague that was deaf. I didn't know she was deaf until several days in, I was trying to get her attention and she didn't turn around until I had to tap her on the shoulder. She spoke perfectly and was a good lip reader. I'm happy I didn't accidently start raising my volume or slowing my words. I only got a bit self conscious of whether my lips moved enough for her haha. But she said she could read me just fine.
I had this at work. I was a learning assistant at college working with a young lady who used a wheelchair for mobility. I’d take notes in her classes and open doors for her. She was totally academically capable. One of the tutors introduced a class and then told every to get on with the task, then approached me and asked if “Sandra” understood the task. My response was “I don’t know I’m not psychic, ask her”. I can’t deal with this level of ignorance in 2023
As someone who has to use interpreters at work to eliminate language barriers, in the beginning of my career it would sometimes feel strange. What I mean by that is, well I didn’t know if I should be speaking to the client or to the actual interpreter. Because of this, once I became a program manager, I started doing trainings and refreshers with my team. We discussed why it’s important to speak directly to the client, how to cut out fluff words and how to best connect with our clients who’s primary language was not one that we as providers spoke. In a perfect world I would have multi lingual team members, but that’s not always realistic. I love that you shared this because it honestly translates well on so many different levels. ❤
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question? I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
@@MathildaMolanderMolin you should be looking at the person who you are having a conversation with. It might feel rude, but an interpreter ISN'T that person in most circumstances. (If you are thanking the interpreter for their work, it would make sense to address them.)
I haven't been in that situation, but the way I'd handle it if I was would be to mainly look at the client when talking then mainly look at the interpreter when listening. The closest I've come to dealing with something like this is when someone comes into a shop with someone to assist them (not sure if the job title). When that happens, I'll speak to the general area in front of the till, which is what I do when there's a group and no one has taken the lead yet.
@@MathildaMolanderMolin because you are having a conversation with the person who is deaf. the interpreter is just a go between and not the actual person you are having the conversation with. they are supposed to be as invisible as possible from the code of ethics they take.
What’s funny here is it could be possible that the woman thinks she can’t actually read her lips but people will do this even when there’s not an excuse like that for example I have a blind friend and people will ask me questions about him in front of him😂 And he’s like hello I thought I couldn’t see you not the other way around
When I’ve worked with interpreters, they typically sit next to or behind me, the hearing person, and in front of the Deaf person. It makes it easier for the Deaf person to see what they are signing but also engage with me as I’m giving instructions.
It’s like if ur disabled or just under 30 and you bring someone with you it’s like you no longer exist. Took my mom with me to the hospital just so I want alone I’m 24 and was wide awake but they kept addressing my mother. Even at my college they did that calling my mom instead of speaking with me and I find it weird ask
In medical settings, try to get an interpreter. They have them. Take in a printed card asking for the interpreter and try to work out with your mom to get her to redirect to you. Then keep demanding an interpreter. It is really hard to advocate for yourself in medical settings, especially when you are young. It can take 20+ years (beyond 18) to grow the necessary IDGAF.
I mean being deaf or hard of hearing is kind of a disability but that also doesn’t mean you should treat people like their different. Deaf people are still normal people they work,clean,drive,socialize with family and friends, and even get married and have children. They definitely don’t let their disability get in the way of living a good life.
@@brandisadventures9983 well I’m not deaf for one and for two just because they are deaf or hearing impaired doesn’t mean you don’t address them directly a lot of the deaf community reads lips or can partially hear so always address them directly people will tell you when they have communication needs I learned that working in healthcare never assume they can not communicate unless you have been told by them
To be fair I've dealt with special needs people and their caretaker cuts them off when I talk directly to them and I just keep talking to the special needs person until they get my point that they are there to assist not take over
Well i kinda understand ppl that don't talk directly to them. It's not like they think less of them it's just because they want their interpret to translate so they talk to him/her. Actually nothing disrespectful here
i dont think they treated her like that!? i would also look at the person i am having the conversation with and in this case its the other person. i dont think many people mean harm by not knowing better...!?!
I’m currently in school to be a Nurse and this is one of the first things they talk to us about. Address the patients, you provide them with an interpreter, don’t expect one. Look at the patient when speaking.
Once I had to go to hospital in Germany. I'm not German, but I speak German (studied it and had lived there before). All of them spoke to me directly - we had perfectly good conversations! - until a native speaker I worked with visited me. They then only spoke to her and, when she gave them a weird look and told them I spoke German, they acted all surprised and started addressing me again. Some people are just so rude.
@@Naisavrein yes, that was rude. Most doctors and nurses do talk directly to them, which is nice, and then I answer. Sometimes it gets confusing if we are all talking at once.
I just have never understood that. Why would yelling help someone understand a different language?! Speaking up (if you were talking quietly) and slower and annunciating words, entirely understandable (and what i want people to do for me if I talk to them in Spanish sense I'm learning and slow at it... Not that I've gotten to talk to anyone in Spanish...) But the yelling just... What? I'm terrified if I'm out in this situation that's how I'll react just from exposure to all the idiocy.
Because everyone should know how to behave in uncommon situation... It is natural to speak to person who is directly answering you. It might by unpleasant to the deaf person, but stil it is not malicious. :( It is like habit, you can not change it after one conversation.
I'm not deaf, but I can relate to this. It's annoying and aggravating when people talk to my caretaker instead of speaking to me, and when they do talk to me, they talk to me like I am stupid or a child.. I am a paraplegic and use a wheelchair.
As an interpreter found it best to sit next to hearing person it gets real awkward for them when they try to turn and look at you and you continue to look at the Deaf. Also sitting slightly behind hearing person works too.
I'm so sorry. I hope people learn to be mindful of their fuckups and own their mistakes. It's so horrible when that happens. It makes you feel inhuman.
I bet if ppl do it like that they do not intentionally want to hurt anybody, but are confused on how they talk to someone who is not responding, but someone else. It is kind of difficult to handle.
Worked as an independent living instructor for developmentally disabled young adults cause my lil sister is disabled and yeah…..immediately ignored or treated like a child. It was my job to help them gain independence so I had to redirect people to refer to my clients….nurses, teachers, doctors, cashiers, attendants….they would become frustrated with me for their lack of ability to see the humanity in the person next to me and adjust their communication or give an ounce of effort. The biggest barriers to equity are the attitudes of the general public. Their discomfort and disregard is just so…..sad.
Dude, that's so sad tho. I really hate people in general. But it's rare, and I mean genuinely RARE, brave and empathic folks like you who make me hold on to hope. You seem like a very nice person. As someone who struggles with independence and general worthiness, you're doing a brilliant job. Just by attempting to help those who are in the lack. It's like y'see an ant (or any vulnerable being)? Do you crush it (take it out on it) or do u protect it? The jerks and other colourful 'people' ime tend to crush self esteem and respect, then justify it with horrendous 'reasons'. But you're def from the latter. Moreso, you actually arm them with the most valuable skill they could possibly have (independence) I hope one day soon I can build myself up and then help those that I can. I don't wanna be crushed anymore Bless ya
I just started working for a cardiologist who takes on a lot of adults with down syndrome because it's a personal connection for him. It's been 4 days now, and I've had 5 patients with DS, and while I've been far from perfect the most obvious running theme of these interactions has been "speak to the patient". My experience with disabilities in general previously has been relatively limited, though maybe more than the average person, but that's also mainly been with autism. People tend to announce the level of respect they have for others in their behavior, especially in repeating behavior that has been repeatedly asked to be stopped. It announces how much of a priority that person's requests hold for you which is a part of how much respect you have for them.
When I worked at a restaurant long time ago, there was deaf+mute lady who was the kindest soul who came every week and I gave her the best deals every time. Treat them like how you want your loved ones treated.
This reminds me of having conversations with some new people in Japanese where an English speaking Japanese friend is present and decides they are going to translate. I can understand everything and am perfectly able to answer for myself but sometimes the new person won't even look at me and will keep trying to speak through the other person
I’m so ashamed of myself, today I paid more attention to an interpreter for about half the conversation until I realized I was doing it and looked at the young man who was talking to me (in Spanish of which I know very little). I corrected myself and apologized briefly. That’s not something I normally do due to wonderful teachers like you who are teaching proper etiquette. Thanks for sharing this info, hopefully it reaches those who need it. ❤️
Any person that works for a government agency should be required to take an accessible class to learn the different types of abilities and how to accommodate each one.
People who work for the govment are the most rude and incompetent, that’s why they work for the govment, they wouldn’t make it anywhere else. The DMV is the absolute worst.
This actually happened to me. I’m a BSL interpreter, and a deaf woman who I know well, at a social cafe ( deaf cafe) asked me to translate for her 2 sandwiches, the hearing waiters came and shouted “ sandwiches!” With clearly no response. She got annoyed and shouted again “ sandwiches!” The deaf woman turned to me and signed to me “ what is she saying?” I signed “ she Is voicing your sandwiches are done” and then I had to actually go up to this woman and say they are for us. She banged then down on the table in annoyance. I’m sorry! 🙄 but did you not just 10 mins ago see that I signed for them? That they didn’t speak! 😂 they could read the woman’s face so it was confusion about that’s going on. But their deaf! What is the point of shouting! 😅🤣
I love how strongly the interpreter is trying to get this lady to understand she can speak to Jasmine as a regular person. Why make people feel so uncomfortable? And I love that they both left and the interpreter was ready for it ❤
My friend is hearing impaired and sometimes all of us forget that because I kid you not she has been able to hear people whispering better than all of us so when we forget to turn on subtitles or we put in headphones she just looks at us like "dude. I can't understand what's going on 😑"
My upperclassmen in college had a slight difference in her speech. I realized that she was hearing impaired. From then on, I always made sure that I had her attention, and to speak directly to her, so that she could read my lips. She always teased me that I talked too fast. She wasn't the only one who told me that.😊
This is honestly ridiculous. the absolute stupidity of learning someone is deaf and then proceeding to.. yell?! ..what? 😭😂 anyways this actually inspired me to get back into sign language, I learned quite a bit of ASL last year but got distracted but sign language is such an important language to know
Happened to a blind friend. We were hiking a rough mountain and people were coming to ask me a pic with her, as they found her so inspiring, each time I said they have to ask her. I get that is hard to address somebody blind, you can't "hey you, yes you miss....", so we have to educate ourselves and others.
I was in youth care (I hope you understand what I mean) and was 18. I switched to a facility that was 24/7 for teens to a Appartment with weekly visits. The person from the government asked them all the questions and not the 18 year old sitting next to them knowing all the answers. The people from the facility knew very little since I wasn't even there a day. I was with them 3 years prior for a month until a spot elsewhere was permanently free. So yeah .... Love it when people treat us like we don't exist
Things like this should always be challenged. It irritated me when I saw a receptionist where I worked do this to a visitor once. I ended up asking her politely to speak directly to the woman, not the interpreter because I could see how irritated she was becoming (the receptionist knew I had a basic sign language qualification, so took it in board). I explained discreetly to her afterwards that the interpreter was there to aid in understanding, they are not the one actually having the conversation so shouldn't be the one she spoke to. Both the receptionist and the visitor were very grateful because unfortunately not everyone is trained what to do when a dead person walks in. It doesn't help that you don't know whether it's a hearing impairment or profound, so shouting can actually do a lot more harm than you might think. I found out later when I went for a job interview somewhere else that she actually worked there, recognised me and I got the job - on my own merit - but we became fast friends. She moved to another country and we lost contact unfortunately, but I still remember her.
I'm not deaf but I live in Japan and my husband and I are both foreigners but I've studied Japanese for about 13 years, and people constantly talk to my husband instead of me 😂 I'll ask something in Japanese and they'll respond looking at him, and I'll answer again, and they still look at him 😅 doctors and doorknockers also always ask for him
this is why as a cashier i take extra care...to treat them no differently than anyone else. except my deaf customers. i try to make sure i'm forming the words as clearly as possible at a normal speed.
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question? I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
@@MathildaMolanderMolin For one, you shouldn't keep more eye contact with the interpreter. For two, it's important to know that when it comes to basic respect that you don't have to have the education to know why something is disrepectful in order to correct your behaviour. To answer though - if you're asking someone a question, you should be asking THEM the question. If you wanted the deaf person to provide the answer, you should talk TO the deaf person. Glancing to the interpreter is understandable, but unless you're having a 3 way conversation the interpreter knows that their job is just to translate, not to participate. In this instance though she's not only looking at the interpreter but asking questions of the interpreter instead of Jasmine. "What's her name?" "How old is Jasmine?" like she's incapable of communicating at all. Highly infantalising.
So glad I’m not “that guy” I’ve had the pleasure of working with several interpreters (ASL and others!) I always address the client, however I’ve had some excellent interpreters who have taken matters into their own hands when things got out of hand!
It's a different kind of interpretation; but over the years, I've often used various services over the phone to interpret conversations with the hearing impaired, the blind, and various international customers for me at most of my jobs. I learned early to address my customer, not the interpreter. I would just change how I expressed myself, to make it easier for the interpreter. It was usually a smooth process. Regular callers, no matter their language of choice, would often request, "interpreter, Spanish (or other language), please," at the moment that I took their call. But there were a few times, usually with the various asian and pacific languages, that I could tell that my interpreter wasn't sticking to the script. Sometimes, the customer just wasn't understanding specifics related to the transaction. I would directly ask the customer to wait for a moment while I had a word with the interpreter. Then, I just had to coach the interpreter directly to an understanding of what I was trying to express; and then they'd put it into more culturally relevant words to better explain things to the customers. This was especially helpful when dealing with more technical issues. Then we would return back to a normally interpreted call. But other times, the interpreters were having full on conversions with a client, without ever pausing to tell me what the client was saying...you know, their job.🤦♀️ (So, not all interpreters stick to the rules.😊) My favorites though, was when I could tell that the interpreters and the customers were having full blown arguments. On a case by case basis; I had to determine if I should request the interpreter to drop from the call, then get a new one; or if it was the customer being unreasonable and disagreeable. In the latter case, the interpreter and I would wait out the customer to come around to a calm adult conversation, so that we could assist them, or to hang up on us. We'd both, in our respective call notes, leave details about the interaction. We had each other's back. I really hope that your video helps open the eyes to others about how to interact with any and all interpreters. Best of luck to you in your endeavors.
To be fair, the person talking to a deaf person and their interpreter (or someone with a foreign language, and their interpreter) really has two people they must be paying attention to simultaneously.
The interpreter should be communicating with you in your language so you actually shouldn't need to look at or address them at all. If the deaf/Deaf person is there for themselves, it would be rude to treat them like they don't know what they need or they don't know the answers. You should never say "what do they think about this?" It should be "what do you think about this?". I couldn't imagine being made to feel invisible because of a language barrier. How dehumanizing.
Yeah, it's hard especially if you're used to reading people's lips to understand what they're saying better. (I can't completely read lips, but I often miss words when listening to a sentence, and I fill in the blanks with context and lip-reading.) You'd obviously want to look at the deaf person when speaking to them, but then you're looking back and forth when they're answering through their interpreter. To make matters worse, _they_ might not even be looking at _you_ when you're talking, since they have to look at their interpreter for the translation.
It's instinct to talk to the interpreter. But as the interpreter you're just thinking to yourself "please stop paying attention to me. If I do my job right only the person listening to me should notice me." Especially when you're translating simultaneously so the person can look at the one they're speaking to, while listening to the translation and get the full picture. And in my experience with translation it really seems instinctive for people to face me and talk to me almost exclusively It's weird, I don't blame the people most probably never been in a situation like that before and never though about it. But once you've been on the other side, getting practically ignored it is very awkward.
@@littleloner1159 I mean, I blame people because they could just ask 'hey who should I look at' or something. I remember going for a joint job interview with my blind friend, and they asked if we wanted tea (because England). Then asked me how my friend liked her tea, like how the fuck should I know, I don't make her tea. She can talk, ask her. Furthermore, now I use a stick and sometimes wheelchair, I see people ignoring me and asking about me to people with me (sometimes they ask strangers who just happen to be standing nearby lol). It's just plain rude and doesn't really have to do with logic, but just 'ah, a human I can feel comfortable with, maybe I can do this without discomfort, yay!'
I’m always trying to sign to a mom in my son’s class who is deaf. I feel like I am being obnoxious bc I take every opportunity I get to sign with her. I need the practice 😅
I feel this in a real way. I've worked in the medical field for years and working with interpreters is a regular occurrence. It infuriates me when staff or other people do this kind of crap.
My Nana is deaf, but just recently went deaf so she doesn't speak sign language. People constantly yell at her, as if that's going to cure her hearing. 🤣. I just politely remind them that she's completely deaf, and get them to talk to me. I type in my phone, use an app, or act it out to her afterwards.
When I worked in a pawn brokers and had deaf customers come in, I generally would open notepad on my pc and communicate that way if they didn't have people with them. Made it so much easier when explaining pricing too.
My fiancée hates people who do this to him... Anyone that talks to Chris like this I don't like it either... We just sign and walk off! There are times when signing is a good thing this is one of them!!
My brother is almost deaf so I do raise my voice to him, even with his hearing aids he can't necessarily hear me but I look at him regardless because his next best option is reading my lips and hearing me slightly better when I speak louder. The only thing I'd do in this situation is only looking to the translator while she translates what she already signed back to me but otherwise just try to enunciate my words better while speaking to the deaf person and looking to them while I speak and they sign.
I don’t think people intentionally ignore the other person People feel like they’re talking through the interpreter. The interpreter is the key… the hearing need an interpreter just as much as the hearing impaired. One thing I can say… no you don’t have to yell at the hearing impaired.
It does not matter if it‘s intentional ignoring, it does not matter at all. It‘s rude, just stop it! If I walk on your foot on accident your foot still hurts no matter if it was intentional or not, that‘s not an excuse
@@lilalizzard 100% agree! People don’t get that essentially the Interpreter’s job is to remain in the background (if I make sense). Though after having an interpreter with me for something, I always thank them
From personal experience it's not that you're ignoring them, but it's that we tend to look at the person talking to us. It's an instinct. If you start talking back to that person that's an error, but not intended to be disrespectful of the person who is hearing impaired.
The way this person was doing it in the video actually was extremely disrespectful. She was told multiple times the correct way of addressing Jasmine, she spoke obnoxiously loud, using body language that made it obvious she was not speaking normally even to a deaf person, and overall treated Jasmine like she wasn't a functional adult. It may not have been intended to be disrespectful, but that doesn't make the actions any less disrespectful or rude.
I use interpreters often at work. The only time I will speak to them directly instead of the client is if they ask me a question because they don’t know quite how to interpret something niche and industry specific so I explain it in different terms so they can understand it well enough to interpret for the client. This goes for the deaf community as well as other languages. You always speak to the person you’re working with, not their interpreter.
So the interpreter isn't a person? As an interpreter of the deaf, it annoys me when the client acts like I'm not there and I'm just a tool for their means. I too require eye contact and the ability to read the other person's expressions so i dont get the wrong impression and convey the wrong message.
The super calm "oh okay 😊 .....HOOWWWW OLDDD ARE YOUU??" made me wheeze lol I apologize these kind of people must be absolutely infuriating to deal with
As someone who regularly deals with interpreters it is hard to ignore the interpreter. It's a conscious effort to ignore the person who is actually speaking directly to you. Just saying
"she's deaf"
"Ohh I'll just raise my voice then"
Ikr not only can she not hear she does stuff not can read lips and also that makes it worse when they talk to you like you can’t see what there saying
@@mekus_adler_family_fan_oth2126 frr idk wtf goes on in their minds💀
😂
So rude, that woman.
"Was it something I said?"
I worked at a daycare, and we had a little girl that was deaf. I’ll never forget one of the teachers, yelling into the bathroom for her and getting mad she didn’t answer… I’m like.. she can’t.. she can’t hear you.
Oh geez ;_; In my elementary school we had a boy who is autistic. Teachers didn't know how to deal with him and was treating him the same like other students, with threating to call the police when he was screaming, not reacting when children from other groups were mocking him. I'm glad that these 16 years later schools are more aware
Omg wth
Most people are perhaps more used to the hard-of-hearing people (in my case, my great-grandma, my MIL...) than to actually deaf people. 🤷
Did she realised it afterwards? 😭😂
Damn they messed up big time
Deaf does NOT equal dumb. Deaf people just can’t hear. They can understand you, and they understand when you’re not respecting them
I don't think most people are trying to disrespect deaf persons, Ive never spoken to a deaf person and think it would be quite hard for me to talk to a person who can't really answer me, it is normal to pay attention to the person raising their voice therefore it might be confusing to talk to one person while the other answers especially keeping attention on one person while the other person talks
I wonder how people not feel stupid after they realize that they yell to a deaf person
How they understand me?
@@gebackenerstein135 Most can read your lips if you look towards them when speaking
@@gebackenerstein135 They're good at reading lips, and most often have someone who can translate for them. If not, we live in the age of smartphones. It's not that hard to pull one out and write it out on there.
I have the opposite problem. My wife has PTSD and severe anxiety, so she wants me to speak on her behalf during stressful situations. I often get dirty looks or snide comments as if I'm trying to control her or something.
Oooof. That's where explaining probably comes in handy even though I'll bet you'd get so much flack for it.
And also because people probably still want to double check with your wife, and you can't tell them they're a trigger without betraying your wife's info, unless she's comfortable with it being shared.
I feel with you and your wife 😔
I had this happen once with my ex. He got nervous a lot and while I had social anxiety too, I was better at handling those situations so I’d usually speak for the both of us. One time we were in a restaurant and the waiter basically told me off for speaking for him and ignored me. I get it but you just don’t know other peoples dynamics so I think it’s a bit weird
I have both those things and people often call my husband controlling too. They have no clue how much I appreciate him taking over when I'm overwhelmed. You're doing great taking care of her, don't worry about anybody else :)
As someone who is hard of hearing, people speaking louder just makes lip reading that much more difficult
Or when they try to test you and start whispering or just overly mouthing the words with no voice
And the irony is they think that helps 💀
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question?
I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
@@MathildaMolanderMolin it's because the interpreter is just there as the deaf persons ears and voice. you should look more at the person you are talking to than the "helping device" which in this case is a person. The interpreter acts as a bridge between you two to successfully communicate, but not as their own participator in the conversation and therefore should be mostly ignored while in conversation with the deaf person.
@@LeeraChan isn't it rude to ignore the interpreter? Or at least make notice of them?
I mean if they are saying what the deaf person are telling me, i feel like it's natrual to look the way the sound is coming from and then reply by looking both of them in the eyes, since both are there to listen. Am i wrong or should you just act like the interpreter are basicly an electronic device or app, like Google translate?
Went to a Dr appointments and they addressed my husband with all the questions they had about me
What in the handmaid's tale-- run💀😝
I don't have an husband, but I heard it happens all the time in different settings.
My husband sat with me at the doctors for an emergency visit. When they asked him who he was, I answered. At no point did they ask him anything directly again - even when the doctor had a question that pertained to him. I will demand my presence!
Why is this a thing?? I know it's very different as I am hearing but I have vision loss, one time I came out of an optometrist appointment and saw my dad who was also getting his eyes checked at the same time.
Our conversation literally went:
Me: Hello
Dad: Hey, how'd it go?
and before I could say anything the optometrist popped up and started telling my dad all of my medical information, including information he had not told me. The optometrist had not been informed who the man I was talking to was, as far as he was aware it could literally have been anyone who I knew well enough to greet casually, even co-worker. I was pretty peeved but I was early 20s and still shy to stand up for myself.
The optometrist was pretty bad, kept yelling at me during the appointment because I couldn't see things or tell apart letters on colours (idk it was a weird test)... I seriously wonder why on earth he thought I was there!
Also I've never looked my age, since about 11 years old people have assumed my younger brother was my son. So I imagine by 20 or 21 I probably looked 25. People asked me at that age if I was married but I'd still get carded in some shops so 🤷
Same, it sucks
Now I make him wait outside
I work at McDonald's, and there is this lady who comes through who can't hear or speak. So she pulls up, I can spot her car and I immediately pull out my phone which has a writing feature and offer it to her so she can tell me what she would like. Sometimes she texts me ahead of the time so when I see her I can ring her in, which management may not know or care about this. But I just like making this lady's life easier, as I couldn't imagine being in her place.
But you can just order through the app now
@@RiddleMrs Yes, you can order on the app. But he app has its limitations, and some of her requests are not available for the app. Also this lady was old school, she owned and still used a flip phone in his day in age.
I worked in a veterinary ER, people had to ring a buzzer for us to talk to them over an intercom. One day we had a woman who was deaf and panicking at the door. People thought she was crazy until I went out and found out she couldn’t hear us. I’ll never forget how scared she was. The other receptionists were rude saying she should have had someone with her. It was awful. She could lip read and no one wanted to be polite and take their mask off to talk to her. Still infuriates me to this day how poorly she was handled. Thankfully her pup was ok. Don’t work there anymore.
Those types of coworkers are insufferable everywhere, but in medicine it gets me even more angry. Tbh, some days I have to check my own judgemental thoughts about things/people and remember this is not a normal day for them, and that's just working in an office as an MA.
“Oh she’s deaf? WELL THEN I GUESS ILL JUST YELL INSTEAD”
Ikr like what the f is wrong with people, she clearly can't hear u
to be fair, deafness is a spectrum and doesn't always mean a complete lack of all hearing, so in some cases raising the volume of your voice does help. BUT you should always ask first what you can do to improve communication rather than just start shouting and looking silly.
@@thecomorbiditycurator8018 also, yelling makes your mouth move differently and it's harder to lip-read
@@miagreen9005 thank you for adding that. I forgot to say that raising the volume doesn't mean yelling because yelling changes the mouth shapes. the volume change should come with breath control and leave the mouth movements the same.
No wonder she's deaf, everyone be screaming at her
People in wheelchairs have the same complaint that the person pushing is spoken to not the one in the chair
Thats extra crazy because there's not even a language barrier there
My grandmother is in a wheelchair and people do this.
They don't see disabled people as people
Yep, not just if someone is pushing me either, if someone is just standing near me they'll talk to them instead.
YESSSS IT HAPPENS AND ITS SO F*CKING RUDE, ANNOYING AND QUITE INAPPROPRIATE!
I believe Molly Burke(who is blind, but can hear and speak fine) had a similar situation with a massage therapist. She was with her mom and the therapist asked her mother what Molly wanted. Molly answered herself because she is a grown-ass woman who knows how to speak for herself.
It happens to disabled people all the time. Happened to me with someone who was accompanying me because I had to visit a specialist doctor in the city and it was dangerous for me to go alone due to the traffic and my visual impairment. She was basically a paid employee of my country's disability insurance and the doctor asked her intimate questions about since when I had my health issues etc. She just looked at the doc going ??? Why are you asking me that, I'm just here to help them across the street. I don't even fucking know that person, I've met them for the first time 15 minutes ago.
Usually my mom has the habit of answering all questions the doctors direct towards me and over exaggerate everything. I was so happy when once this particular doctor told her that he specifically wanted to hear me voice my concerns, and she's hasn't been doing it anymore 😭
Best GF I ever had was born deaf. We just passed notepads back and forth and got along just fine while I learned some rudimentary signing. This was a few years before cell phones were common and texting was an option. I still kick myself for being too young and dumb to appreciate her enough to stick around.
so are you mad at yourself for dating her or what
@@skxawng891I think not for dating but for leaving her
@@skxawng891 he means he regrets breaking up with her
She sounds lovely- I hope you find another great person for you!
Bruh! Nothing is lost! Find her and tell her about your feelings!
I work in a doctors office and when speaking to deaf or non English speaking patients I always look that pt in the eyes and ask them questions and tell them where their room is. How lonely would it be if everybody just ignored you and only spoke to the person interpreting for you. It's much more respectful and they appreciate it a lot more when you look at them and speak
I had a psychiatrist, English wasn’t his first language, my mom and I entered visits with him, and a lot of times I wouldn’t understand what he said, so I’d turn to her and she’d tell me, (I was a kid and grew up rural south, hadn’t had much experience with heavy accents) I thought asking him to repeat himself really frequently would be ruder but now I’m wondering how much I had hurt his feelings. He was always so nice, would notice if I got a haircut or new glasses even when my own dad didn’t 💔
Thank you very much ♥️🙏. As someone who translates for their parents I appreciate it. It's a great gesture on your part to address the patient and not ignore their presence.
@@missybennet1594I get you, I have permanent hearing loss in one ear and sometimes when I call or go the pharmacy I get to speak to the pharmacy tech who's Vietnamese and I really have to concentrate on listening. 😅
That's fine for a short interaction, but the idea of having a full blown conversation through an interpreter feels awkward. You're sitting there, talking to someone who you know for a fact cannot hear your words. Then the 3rd party has to sign what you said to them, then you wait for them to sign their response back.
I mean, as a hearing person, if a deaf person suddenly came up to me and started signing away at me, knowing full well I don't understand, I'd find that weird as hell. The entire point of having an interpreter is so the deaf person can communicate with hearing people and vice versa, so I don't see how looking at the interpreter when you don't understand sign is somehow offensive. Why would I watch someone sign at me when I don't understand them? Same goes if someone started talking to me in French. I don't speak French, I'm going to ignore you...
@Missy Bennet aw you were a child! Children don't really understand always you know? I'm 30 years old so I had a little bit of experience 😆 I'm sure if I was also appointing time When I would do the same thing so don't beat yourself up over it!
I think it’s important for everyone to get a quick primer on how to speak to someone using an interpreter/translator. You don’t need to speak to the interpreter, filtering every sentence with “can you ask her what her full name is?” You just speak to the person normally “what’s your full name?” and the interpreter takes it from there. They’re facilitators of the conversation, not participants. It might feel weird at first, but it’ll go much smoother. There’s only a few adjustments you should make, like using shorter sentences. And thank the interpreter before & after for their help, that’s when it makes sense to speak directly to them
I'm not deaf but something similar happened to me as I was going through kidney disease at 14. All of the doctors would talk directly to my dad instead of me. One time, he looked at the doctor and said, "She's right there. You can direct your questions to her. She's more than capable of answering."
It happens all the time 💀
sameee x
what do you expect? You can't ducking talk 😂
@@kylan419 excuse me? why do you say that
@@shannonkingman1265 people are acting like it's rude that she's trying to talk to the mom but it makes sense when no one can understand a single word she's saying.
@@kylan419 i can actually talk, im not deaf x
This problem is so common for disabled people and so old that there was a BBC radio series about disability rights that ran from 1977 to 1998 called "Does He Take Sugar?"
That’s cool I’m gonna look this up ❤
She really had the guts to say, “is it something I said?”
One time I worked at a call center and an interpreter called and told me she speaks for a deaf client. I didn't see him, I didn't hear him but I knew he was there so I tried my best to always talk to him and not her. Sometimes I slipped and said "He needs to do blabla" but corrected me when I noticed and said "You" and called him by his name to make an appointment for him. That was kinda tough, but when the person sits right in front of you, just talk to them.
I work in the medical field in a predominantly Spanish area and sometimes it’s hard to know who to address when it’s the child speaking for their older parents but we learn in school to ALWAYS address the patient no matter what. It’s about respect
Oh and of course this is a skit but the yelling at deaf completely unacceptable like how utterly daft can you be??
A child can never be an interpreter or a translator! Shame on your work place on allowing unethical, dangerous practises to go on.
@@marialindell9874
I think they were refering to the adult children of the patient...
@@marialindell9874do you speak Spanish?
@@marialindell9874 🤦🏾♀️ I don’t mean a minor I mean an adult accompanying their aging Spanish speaking parents.
A friend of mine had hearing impairment but wasn't completely deaf. She had a doc for female issues and she told them to just slow down a smidgen. SHE looked at her and asked if she had a S/O that would be able to help. I was there, but she didn't need me because all she needed was the person to slow down. Very fluent in reading lips
She was back there for approximately 5 min before she came back basically sobbing.
Yeah, a complaint was filed
I work retail and my favorite customers are deaf people. Because I don't have to worry about being heard. I have a quiet voice, so I speak the most comfortably with deaf people. Though they have to write for me. They're always the nicest people too.
There's a regular who's deaf, and he told me about these coasters he makes out of horseshoes, and brought one in for me to see. They're really cool. I love when people bring me their projects to share xD I work in the craft department.
Ngl I've struggled with who to talk to in situations where an interpreter is present. I absolutely never screamed at anyone like this. I think my brain just naturally wants to go to the person who is speaking to me, even though I know the person needing the interpreter is the person I should address. I also struggle with 3 way conversations in general. Never want to make someone feel invalid, it's just not a typical thing I get to practice socially a whole lot.
But being aware of it and trying to correct for it makes all the difference. Usually people with a disability won't care as much if they see you clearly trying to be helpful and respectful. Or if you have (respectful) questions on how you can best accommodate them.
My husband has a HOH brother who now has a cochlear. He is alao a special education teacher and had a class of 3 deaf students. He was the FIRST teacher they had that talked to them. Most of them were in 11th and 12th grade. It truly broke my heart.
They do the same with people with wheelchairs. My grandad is in a wheelchair and my mam had to go with him to some of his appointments and when I was younger, I would sit in with them. There was this one particular day, my grandad was at the doctors for something my mam didnt know much about, and the doctor kept asking my mam his name, his age, what was wrong with him etc. So eventually my grandad got snippy and ended up asking questions about the doctor to his assistant behind him 😂😂. My mam is only there for if he needs to sign or write anything and to help him get up out of his wheelchair because not only does he only have one leg, he had a balance problem and cant write properly. I also remember, I was 8 and sitting in again. It was with the same doctor and I could see my mam and grandad getting annoyed so I said "He can speak you know!" Let's just say i got sweets and that when we left the doctors 😂😂
Jesus this comment section is breaking my heart. I have an invisible disability which comes with its own drama but how awful for you. If it helps there's a woman in australia who read your comment and her stomach literally turned in disgust for you.
@@plutonium2 Thanks. I have been banned from going to me grandads appointments with him now because I stand up for him 😂😂. People always think that people with disabilities or special needs aren't capable of speaking for themselves and its heartbreaking anf disgusting at the same time. My family have quite a few people with autism in it and the amount of people that take advantage of that is unreal. From the North East of the UK, I really hope no one has treated you this way or will ever treat you this way
Thanks for sharing this great story!😂😂😂
I once had a colleague that was deaf. I didn't know she was deaf until several days in, I was trying to get her attention and she didn't turn around until I had to tap her on the shoulder. She spoke perfectly and was a good lip reader.
I'm happy I didn't accidently start raising my volume or slowing my words. I only got a bit self conscious of whether my lips moved enough for her haha. But she said she could read me just fine.
I had this at work. I was a learning assistant at college working with a young lady who used a wheelchair for mobility. I’d take notes in her classes and open doors for her. She was totally academically capable. One of the tutors introduced a class and then told every to get on with the task, then approached me and asked if “Sandra” understood the task. My response was “I don’t know I’m not psychic, ask her”. I can’t deal with this level of ignorance in 2023
As someone who has to use interpreters at work to eliminate language barriers, in the beginning of my career it would sometimes feel strange. What I mean by that is, well I didn’t know if I should be speaking to the client or to the actual interpreter. Because of this, once I became a program manager, I started doing trainings and refreshers with my team. We discussed why it’s important to speak directly to the client, how to cut out fluff words and how to best connect with our clients who’s primary language was not one that we as providers spoke. In a perfect world I would have multi lingual team members, but that’s not always realistic. I love that you shared this because it honestly translates well on so many different levels. ❤
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question?
I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
@@MathildaMolanderMolin you should be looking at the person who you are having a conversation with.
It might feel rude, but an interpreter ISN'T that person in most circumstances. (If you are thanking the interpreter for their work, it would make sense to address them.)
I haven't been in that situation, but the way I'd handle it if I was would be to mainly look at the client when talking then mainly look at the interpreter when listening.
The closest I've come to dealing with something like this is when someone comes into a shop with someone to assist them (not sure if the job title). When that happens, I'll speak to the general area in front of the till, which is what I do when there's a group and no one has taken the lead yet.
@@MathildaMolanderMolin because you are having a conversation with the person who is deaf. the interpreter is just a go between and not the actual person you are having the conversation with. they are supposed to be as invisible as possible from the code of ethics they take.
@@lisahenry20 look at the deaf person too when you are listening.
What’s funny here is it could be possible that the woman thinks she can’t actually read her lips but people will do this even when there’s not an excuse like that for example I have a blind friend and people will ask me questions about him in front of him😂 And he’s like hello I thought I couldn’t see you not the other way around
This is absolutely invigorating, I feel so bad that deaf people don’t receive the respect they deserve
When I’ve worked with interpreters, they typically sit next to or behind me, the hearing person, and in front of the Deaf person.
It makes it easier for the Deaf person to see what they are signing but also engage with me as I’m giving instructions.
It’s like if ur disabled or just under 30 and you bring someone with you it’s like you no longer exist. Took my mom with me to the hospital just so I want alone I’m 24 and was wide awake but they kept addressing my mother. Even at my college they did that calling my mom instead of speaking with me and I find it weird ask
In medical settings, try to get an interpreter. They have them. Take in a printed card asking for the interpreter and try to work out with your mom to get her to redirect to you. Then keep demanding an interpreter. It is really hard to advocate for yourself in medical settings, especially when you are young. It can take 20+ years (beyond 18) to grow the necessary IDGAF.
@@julian7934 bro it really made me angry
@@Fiery154 I’ll give that a shot
I mean being deaf or hard of hearing is kind of a disability but that also doesn’t mean you should treat people like their different. Deaf people are still normal people they work,clean,drive,socialize with family and friends, and even get married and have children. They definitely don’t let their disability get in the way of living a good life.
@@brandisadventures9983 well I’m not deaf for one and for two just because they are deaf or hearing impaired doesn’t mean you don’t address them directly a lot of the deaf community reads lips or can partially hear so always address them directly people will tell you when they have communication needs I learned that working in healthcare never assume they can not communicate unless you have been told by them
Being deaf doesn't stop you being a normal person! Some people are stupid 🙄 😒
To be fair I've dealt with special needs people and their caretaker cuts them off when I talk directly to them and I just keep talking to the special needs person until they get my point that they are there to assist not take over
Well i kinda understand ppl that don't talk directly to them. It's not like they think less of them it's just because they want their interpret to translate so they talk to him/her. Actually nothing disrespectful here
i dont think they treated her like that!? i would also look at the person i am having the conversation with and in this case its the other person. i dont think many people mean harm by not knowing better...!?!
I’m currently in school to be a Nurse and this is one of the first things they talk to us about. Address the patients, you provide them with an interpreter, don’t expect one. Look at the patient when speaking.
Omg I love Jasmine and her interpreter's tops! They are both so pretty.
My in-laws do not speak English. When some people talk to them they scream like that😂
Oof yelling does not increase comprehensibility @-@
Once I had to go to hospital in Germany. I'm not German, but I speak German (studied it and had lived there before). All of them spoke to me directly - we had perfectly good conversations! - until a native speaker I worked with visited me. They then only spoke to her and, when she gave them a weird look and told them I spoke German, they acted all surprised and started addressing me again. Some people are just so rude.
@@Naisavrein yes, that was rude. Most doctors and nurses do talk directly to them, which is nice, and then I answer. Sometimes it gets confusing if we are all talking at once.
Is screaming gonna interpret what they say? Lol
I just have never understood that. Why would yelling help someone understand a different language?!
Speaking up (if you were talking quietly) and slower and annunciating words, entirely understandable (and what i want people to do for me if I talk to them in Spanish sense I'm learning and slow at it... Not that I've gotten to talk to anyone in Spanish...)
But the yelling just... What?
I'm terrified if I'm out in this situation that's how I'll react just from exposure to all the idiocy.
"Was it something I said?" Lol. Impeccable!
Because everyone should know how to behave in uncommon situation... It is natural to speak to person who is directly answering you. It might by unpleasant to the deaf person, but stil it is not malicious. :( It is like habit, you can not change it after one conversation.
I'm not deaf, but I can relate to this. It's annoying and aggravating when people talk to my caretaker instead of speaking to me, and when they do talk to me, they talk to me like I am stupid or a child.. I am a paraplegic and use a wheelchair.
“Was it something I said?”
“No, it was something you did.”
As an interpreter found it best to sit next to hearing person it gets real awkward for them when they try to turn and look at you and you continue to look at the Deaf. Also sitting slightly behind hearing person works too.
Do you do ASL or BSL?
As a CODA, and a mom of two kids with hearing loss, I hate this so much. It happens almost daily
I'm so sorry. I hope people learn to be mindful of their fuckups and own their mistakes. It's so horrible when that happens. It makes you feel inhuman.
“Was it something I said?” Girl it something you did!😂
I bet if ppl do it like that they do not intentionally want to hurt anybody, but are confused on how they talk to someone who is not responding, but someone else.
It is kind of difficult to handle.
Worked as an independent living instructor for developmentally disabled young adults cause my lil sister is disabled and yeah…..immediately ignored or treated like a child. It was my job to help them gain independence so I had to redirect people to refer to my clients….nurses, teachers, doctors, cashiers, attendants….they would become frustrated with me for their lack of ability to see the humanity in the person next to me and adjust their communication or give an ounce of effort. The biggest barriers to equity are the attitudes of the general public. Their discomfort and disregard is just so…..sad.
Dude, that's so sad tho. I really hate people in general. But it's rare, and I mean genuinely RARE, brave and empathic folks like you who make me hold on to hope. You seem like a very nice person. As someone who struggles with independence and general worthiness, you're doing a brilliant job. Just by attempting to help those who are in the lack.
It's like y'see an ant (or any vulnerable being)? Do you crush it (take it out on it) or do u protect it?
The jerks and other colourful 'people' ime tend to crush self esteem and respect, then justify it with horrendous 'reasons'. But you're def from the latter. Moreso, you actually arm them with the most valuable skill they could possibly have (independence)
I hope one day soon I can build myself up and then help those that I can. I don't wanna be crushed anymore
Bless ya
I just started working for a cardiologist who takes on a lot of adults with down syndrome because it's a personal connection for him. It's been 4 days now, and I've had 5 patients with DS, and while I've been far from perfect the most obvious running theme of these interactions has been "speak to the patient". My experience with disabilities in general previously has been relatively limited, though maybe more than the average person, but that's also mainly been with autism.
People tend to announce the level of respect they have for others in their behavior, especially in repeating behavior that has been repeatedly asked to be stopped. It announces how much of a priority that person's requests hold for you which is a part of how much respect you have for them.
“was it something i said?”
no it was something you screamed
When I worked at a restaurant long time ago, there was deaf+mute lady who was the kindest soul who came every week and I gave her the best deals every time.
Treat them like how you want your loved ones treated.
I increased the volume when the doc said, *HOW OLD ARE YOU* (Dramatic lip movement) and this had me cracking 🤣😭
no its not something you said.
it’s EVERYTHING you said, ma’am.
edit : thx for all the likes ☺️
You always look at the person who talks to you, it's just natural.
This reminds me of having conversations with some new people in Japanese where an English speaking Japanese friend is present and decides they are going to translate. I can understand everything and am perfectly able to answer for myself but sometimes the new person won't even look at me and will keep trying to speak through the other person
I’m so ashamed of myself, today I paid more attention to an interpreter for about half the conversation until I realized I was doing it and looked at the young man who was talking to me (in Spanish of which I know very little). I corrected myself and apologized briefly. That’s not something I normally do due to wonderful teachers like you who are teaching proper etiquette. Thanks for sharing this info, hopefully it reaches those who need it. ❤️
Any person that works for a government agency should be required to take an accessible class to learn the different types of abilities and how to accommodate each one.
Agreed. Send letters to your representatives!
People who work for the govment are the most rude and incompetent, that’s why they work for the govment, they wouldn’t make it anywhere else. The DMV is the absolute worst.
Facts!
I almost raised my voice at a deaf person and immediately felt like a fucking idiot 😂
This actually happened to me. I’m a BSL interpreter, and a deaf woman who I know well, at a social cafe ( deaf cafe) asked me to translate for her 2 sandwiches, the hearing waiters came and shouted “ sandwiches!” With clearly no response. She got annoyed and shouted again “ sandwiches!” The deaf woman turned to me and signed to me “ what is she saying?” I signed “ she Is voicing your sandwiches are done” and then I had to actually go up to this woman and say they are for us. She banged then down on the table in annoyance. I’m sorry! 🙄 but did you not just 10 mins ago see that I signed for them? That they didn’t speak! 😂 they could read the woman’s face so it was confusion about that’s going on. But their deaf! What is the point of shouting! 😅🤣
Sarcasm “ they were just pretending! They can talk really, I’m just waving my hands for nothing” 😂
What jokes! 😂
I love how strongly the interpreter is trying to get this lady to understand she can speak to Jasmine as a regular person. Why make people feel so uncomfortable? And I love that they both left and the interpreter was ready for it ❤
I had several jaw surgeries and got something like a speech impediment... the number of people raising their voice talking to me is just bonkers!
My friend is hearing impaired and sometimes all of us forget that because I kid you not she has been able to hear people whispering better than all of us so when we forget to turn on subtitles or we put in headphones she just looks at us like "dude. I can't understand what's going on 😑"
My upperclassmen in college had a slight difference in her speech. I realized that she was hearing impaired. From then on, I always made sure that I had her attention, and to speak directly to her, so that she could read my lips. She always teased me that I talked too fast. She wasn't the only one who told me that.😊
This is honestly ridiculous. the absolute stupidity of learning someone is deaf and then proceeding to.. yell?! ..what? 😭😂
anyways this actually inspired me to get back into sign language, I learned quite a bit of ASL last year but got distracted but sign language is such an important language to know
"was it something I said " 😮💨🤦♂️. MY GOD WOMAN
Happened to a blind friend. We were hiking a rough mountain and people were coming to ask me a pic with her, as they found her so inspiring, each time I said they have to ask her. I get that is hard to address somebody blind, you can't "hey you, yes you miss....", so we have to educate ourselves and others.
I was in youth care (I hope you understand what I mean) and was 18. I switched to a facility that was 24/7 for teens to a Appartment with weekly visits. The person from the government asked them all the questions and not the 18 year old sitting next to them knowing all the answers. The people from the facility knew very little since I wasn't even there a day. I was with them 3 years prior for a month until a spot elsewhere was permanently free. So yeah
.... Love it when people treat us like we don't exist
“She’s deaf”
“HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!”
💀
Things like this should always be challenged. It irritated me when I saw a receptionist where I worked do this to a visitor once. I ended up asking her politely to speak directly to the woman, not the interpreter because I could see how irritated she was becoming (the receptionist knew I had a basic sign language qualification, so took it in board). I explained discreetly to her afterwards that the interpreter was there to aid in understanding, they are not the one actually having the conversation so shouldn't be the one she spoke to.
Both the receptionist and the visitor were very grateful because unfortunately not everyone is trained what to do when a dead person walks in. It doesn't help that you don't know whether it's a hearing impairment or profound, so shouting can actually do a lot more harm than you might think.
I found out later when I went for a job interview somewhere else that she actually worked there, recognised me and I got the job - on my own merit - but we became fast friends. She moved to another country and we lost contact unfortunately, but I still remember her.
I'm not deaf but I live in Japan and my husband and I are both foreigners but I've studied Japanese for about 13 years, and people constantly talk to my husband instead of me 😂 I'll ask something in Japanese and they'll respond looking at him, and I'll answer again, and they still look at him 😅 doctors and doorknockers also always ask for him
this is why as a cashier i take extra care...to treat them no differently than anyone else. except my deaf customers. i try to make sure i'm forming the words as clearly as possible at a normal speed.
WhAs It SoMetHinG I SaId
-no it was something you SHOUTED 😂
The acting was so good on the lady who was being rude! 👏👏
Oh, I can understand the frustration! That is a prime example of ignoring Jasmin’s personhood!
I am going progressively deaf. And I seriously wish ill intent upon the interviewer. I’m a cashier and not one of my customers is that rude/stupid.
Wow, you're lucky.
I don’t think they mean rude but they have an interpreter for a reason!!! She said she was deaf and can’t hear the questions
Educate me. I get that it is wrong to yell at the deaf person, but why is it wrong to look att the interpreter when you are speaking to them? Like if I know the person is deaf, and I want to say something that i want her to interpret, can't I look at the person that is helping her while giving her my question?
I mean in this scenario im talking to both of them, looking at both, but keep more eye contact with the interpreter
nobody gives a f, you need to adjust yourself, not others.
@@MathildaMolanderMolin For one, you shouldn't keep more eye contact with the interpreter. For two, it's important to know that when it comes to basic respect that you don't have to have the education to know why something is disrepectful in order to correct your behaviour.
To answer though - if you're asking someone a question, you should be asking THEM the question. If you wanted the deaf person to provide the answer, you should talk TO the deaf person. Glancing to the interpreter is understandable, but unless you're having a 3 way conversation the interpreter knows that their job is just to translate, not to participate. In this instance though she's not only looking at the interpreter but asking questions of the interpreter instead of Jasmine. "What's her name?" "How old is Jasmine?" like she's incapable of communicating at all. Highly infantalising.
Let's shout and make sure our face doesn't look like we're speaking at all! That'll help!
I love the attitude in the face of the interpreter
“She’s deaf”
“Oh sorry I’ll be a bit louder”
So glad I’m not “that guy”
I’ve had the pleasure of working with several interpreters (ASL and others!) I always address the client, however I’ve had some excellent interpreters who have taken matters into their own hands when things got out of hand!
It's a different kind of interpretation; but over the years, I've often used various services over the phone to interpret conversations with the hearing impaired, the blind, and various international customers for me at most of my jobs.
I learned early to address my customer, not the interpreter. I would just change how I expressed myself, to make it easier for the interpreter.
It was usually a smooth process. Regular callers, no matter their language of choice, would often request, "interpreter, Spanish (or other language), please," at the moment that I took their call.
But there were a few times, usually with the various asian and pacific languages, that I could tell that my interpreter wasn't sticking to the script.
Sometimes, the customer just wasn't understanding specifics related to the transaction. I would directly ask the customer to wait for a moment while I had a word with the interpreter. Then, I just had to coach the interpreter directly to an understanding of what I was trying to express; and then they'd put it into more culturally relevant words to better explain things to the customers. This was especially helpful when dealing with more technical issues. Then we would return back to a normally interpreted call.
But other times, the interpreters were having full on conversions with a client, without ever pausing to tell me what the client was saying...you know, their job.🤦♀️ (So, not all interpreters stick to the rules.😊)
My favorites though, was when I could tell that the interpreters and the customers were having full blown arguments. On a case by case basis; I had to determine if I should request the interpreter to drop from the call, then get a new one; or if it was the customer being unreasonable and disagreeable. In the latter case, the interpreter and I would wait out the customer to come around to a calm adult conversation, so that we could assist them, or to hang up on us. We'd both, in our respective call notes, leave details about the interaction. We had each other's back.
I really hope that your video helps open the eyes to others about how to interact with any and all interpreters. Best of luck to you in your endeavors.
Thank you for sharing
The way her smile faded when she said she's deaf
Dang, got a good laugh. It used to hurt my feelings when people yell at me like I'm deaf. Only half deaf lol
To be fair, the person talking to a deaf person and their interpreter (or someone with a foreign language, and their interpreter) really has two people they must be paying attention to simultaneously.
To be fair, you usually adress the person you're talking to. That's a thing called basic politeness
The interpreter should be communicating with you in your language so you actually shouldn't need to look at or address them at all. If the deaf/Deaf person is there for themselves, it would be rude to treat them like they don't know what they need or they don't know the answers. You should never say "what do they think about this?" It should be "what do you think about this?". I couldn't imagine being made to feel invisible because of a language barrier. How dehumanizing.
Yeah, it's hard especially if you're used to reading people's lips to understand what they're saying better. (I can't completely read lips, but I often miss words when listening to a sentence, and I fill in the blanks with context and lip-reading.) You'd obviously want to look at the deaf person when speaking to them, but then you're looking back and forth when they're answering through their interpreter. To make matters worse, _they_ might not even be looking at _you_ when you're talking, since they have to look at their interpreter for the translation.
It's instinct to talk to the interpreter.
But as the interpreter you're just thinking to yourself "please stop paying attention to me. If I do my job right only the person listening to me should notice me."
Especially when you're translating simultaneously so the person can look at the one they're speaking to, while listening to the translation and get the full picture.
And in my experience with translation it really seems instinctive for people to face me and talk to me almost exclusively
It's weird, I don't blame the people most probably never been in a situation like that before and never though about it. But once you've been on the other side, getting practically ignored it is very awkward.
@@littleloner1159 I mean, I blame people because they could just ask 'hey who should I look at' or something.
I remember going for a joint job interview with my blind friend, and they asked if we wanted tea (because England). Then asked me how my friend liked her tea, like how the fuck should I know, I don't make her tea. She can talk, ask her.
Furthermore, now I use a stick and sometimes wheelchair, I see people ignoring me and asking about me to people with me (sometimes they ask strangers who just happen to be standing nearby lol).
It's just plain rude and doesn't really have to do with logic, but just 'ah, a human I can feel comfortable with, maybe I can do this without discomfort, yay!'
I’m always trying to sign to a mom in my son’s class who is deaf. I feel like I am being obnoxious bc I take every opportunity I get to sign with her. I need the practice 😅
I feel this in a real way. I've worked in the medical field for years and working with interpreters is a regular occurrence. It infuriates me when staff or other people do this kind of crap.
“was it something i said”
“no it was something you yelled”
My Nana is deaf, but just recently went deaf so she doesn't speak sign language. People constantly yell at her, as if that's going to cure her hearing. 🤣. I just politely remind them that she's completely deaf, and get them to talk to me. I type in my phone, use an app, or act it out to her afterwards.
“was it something i said”
no it was something you yelled 💀
When I worked in a pawn brokers and had deaf customers come in, I generally would open notepad on my pc and communicate that way if they didn't have people with them. Made it so much easier when explaining pricing too.
That must be beyond frustrating. Great to raise awareness
My fiancée hates people who do this to him... Anyone that talks to Chris like this I don't like it either... We just sign and walk off! There are times when signing is a good thing this is one of them!!
My brother is almost deaf so I do raise my voice to him, even with his hearing aids he can't necessarily hear me but I look at him regardless because his next best option is reading my lips and hearing me slightly better when I speak louder. The only thing I'd do in this situation is only looking to the translator while she translates what she already signed back to me but otherwise just try to enunciate my words better while speaking to the deaf person and looking to them while I speak and they sign.
“Is it something I said?”
Me:YES IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!💀💀💀
Wow that's 💯 spot on when people do that it's out of ignorance or just stupidity either way it's so disrespectful and makes the person feel so bad
I don’t think people intentionally ignore the other person
People feel like they’re talking through the interpreter.
The interpreter is the key… the hearing need an interpreter just as much as the hearing impaired.
One thing I can say… no you don’t have to yell at the hearing impaired.
It does not matter if it‘s intentional ignoring, it does not matter at all.
It‘s rude, just stop it!
If I walk on your foot on accident your foot still hurts no matter if it was intentional or not, that‘s not an excuse
@@lilalizzard 100% agree! People don’t get that essentially the Interpreter’s job is to remain in the background (if I make sense). Though after having an interpreter with me for something, I always thank them
That's happens to me many time..smh 🤨😒
Omg... this so accurate. People are very unprofessional and insensible.
What a joy she must be to live with..
From personal experience it's not that you're ignoring them, but it's that we tend to look at the person talking to us. It's an instinct. If you start talking back to that person that's an error, but not intended to be disrespectful of the person who is hearing impaired.
The way this person was doing it in the video actually was extremely disrespectful. She was told multiple times the correct way of addressing Jasmine, she spoke obnoxiously loud, using body language that made it obvious she was not speaking normally even to a deaf person, and overall treated Jasmine like she wasn't a functional adult. It may not have been intended to be disrespectful, but that doesn't make the actions any less disrespectful or rude.
@@t.matthies3049 Yeah, I agree with you there.
I use interpreters often at work. The only time I will speak to them directly instead of the client is if they ask me a question because they don’t know quite how to interpret something niche and industry specific so I explain it in different terms so they can understand it well enough to interpret for the client. This goes for the deaf community as well as other languages. You always speak to the person you’re working with, not their interpreter.
So the interpreter isn't a person? As an interpreter of the deaf, it annoys me when the client acts like I'm not there and I'm just a tool for their means.
I too require eye contact and the ability to read the other person's expressions so i dont get the wrong impression and convey the wrong message.
The super calm
"oh okay 😊
.....HOOWWWW OLDDD ARE YOUU??"
made me wheeze lol I apologize these kind of people must be absolutely infuriating to deal with
"was it something I said?" yes, yes it was.
As someone who regularly deals with interpreters it is hard to ignore the interpreter. It's a conscious effort to ignore the person who is actually speaking directly to you.
Just saying
‘was it something i said?’
no, its just you.
No. It was them. They could communicate better.
@@brandon-brit2005 it is the lady because when the mom said jasmine was deaf all what the lady did was speak louder which doesnt do anything
the "was there something i said?" at the end got me rolling on the floor XD
Very accurate!! Paraplegic friend has to endure this. Cannot speak, uses talker and tells doctors and nurses alike; "I am not deaf!"