How to Stop Being Angry as a Mom || Help for Angry Yelling Moms
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- čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
- How to Stop Being an Angry Mom...Ahhh Mama Anger is so REAL! Today I want to walk you through a couple of strategies to help you to stop being so angry as a mom. I certainly still struggle with this, BUT I have had some breakthroughs in the mama anger department that I think could be helpful to you! I do not want you to despair thinking that you are meant to be a frustrated, yelling, angry mom forever! There is another way! We also do not have to stay in the mom guilt and shame from past mistakes, there is hope!
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Timestamps:
0:00 Why being an angry mom is so common? I struggle too!
1:02 Why I knew I had to stop being an angry mom
1:40 What is anger really?
2:02 How is anger different from rage?
2:26 Why anger causes a breakdown in our relationships
3:10 Is Motherhood making me ANGRY?
4:02 Why am I angry as a mom?
5:26 Why apologizing to our kids and other is so important
7:33 The choice we have when we are angry
10:06 Why first time obedience helps us battle against mama rage
11:37 Why moms need alone time for sanity
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Lana here at Girl, Teach Me and I share all things related to womanhood. My hope is to encourage, teach and come alongside you in this journey as a woman.
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I would love to hear any breakthroughs you have had recently or even how you might be struggling now. We can even talk about what sets us off most easily...In this with you all!
Once again, another video I needed! I literally broke down in tears the other night asking God for forgiveness for losing my temper. I feel so my guilt when I do! Praying about it has helped tremendously but I'm not perfect by any means. You are right about it bringing up things that were buried way down deep. My mom abandoned me several times when I was little and basically chose drugs over me. She used to leave me with strange old men while she'd go on drug runs for them as well as herself. She put me in so many awful situations. One time she left me at her place for 3 days alone when I was 5 and I was sick with a cold. The only thing I had was the theraflu my dad sent with me and rotten milk and chocolate syrup. I remember making myself theraflu and trying to make myself chocolate milk because I was SO hungry. By the time the cops found me, I was hiding in her closet, holding one of her shoes crying, and I had vomit all over me. My dad was incredible and raised me along with my grandparents help and was able to have my moms rights to me terminated.(btw, my mom has officially been sober for a little over a year now and has slowly started building a relationship with me and my kids for the first time in many years! God is so good!!) But he had trouble with controlling his temper once he reached his boiling point. He never ever put his hands on me but he'd yell at me. I never realized how much my childhood trauma affected me until I had 2 kids. Everything started to bubble up to the surface! It's been a difficult road for me but God has blessed me with 2 beautiful children, a wonderful husband, and my mom is back in my life and she's being a mother for the first time in my 28 years of life! I feel blessed beyond measure! God hand his hand on me as a child and protected me because I could've been hurt any of the many times my mom left me but I wasn't.
Thank you!
Kristen, I am blow away by God's faithfulness to you! What a power testimony. He saw you in the broken horrible place. As I read you story I wanted to scoop you up in my arms and comfort you, because I have children those ages and I have tears in my eyes thinking about how their are other children like you in these situations now. Wow, that stirs my heart. And gives me sooo much hope that Jesus has mended so much. I am so sorry this ever happened to you and praise God you could recognize that the trauma was real and was affecting your parenting. Kristen, asking Jesus to continue to heal and just praising Him for all He has already done for you and your legacy for your family! Thank you for sharing Kristen, what an honor ❤️❤️❤️
So good! I didn’t know I could be an angry person until I had multiple kiddos 🤪 I need so much help from the Holy Spirit to not let anger get the best of me. Thanks for sharing this! ❤️
Ahh yes I feel this! Thanks for watching friend!
Yes! We all need Jesus. He will help us with the repair too. Thank you for sharing. It resonates!!
So much mom guilt tonight… it’s been a WEEK. My 3 year old son had surgery, my husband had emergency angioplasty, my daughter got a stomach bug and my husband is having shoulder surgery tomorrow… I have been trying to hold it all together and take care of everyone but I’m so tired. I have been so hard on my daughter especially this week for not listening etc but what you said about saying it once then following through, that way you don’t get angry after asking them to do something 5x etc, that really resonated with me! I’m also going to go wake her up and apologize (I am good at doing that), but I know she is sensitive and the relationship breakdown definitely happens with her, which crushes me. Ugh! Thank you! This is just what I needed to hear tonight.
Just seeing this comment a month later, but YES you are spot on Ashley. Praying that you have had little breakthroughs this month and even though I know the shame is so real for all the ways we fall short as mothers, I am so grateful that in Christ we can have a fresh start and try again. Love that you humbled yourself and apologized- that is really the best way and has changed me more than I can say. I asked my son last night before bed, what can I do better tomorrow, he said, "Be a nicer less angry mom." I said ok thank you and will you forgive me. He said of course mama. So I am in the struggle with you! We just can't give up and we can't do it alone. Cheering you on today mama!
Great job dear daughter-in-law! Comforting to know my grand babies are being raised with this attitude. But, anyone in any season of life can benefit from this video! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much Tammy!!!
Ok love this! So so good. Mom rage is real and I struggle with it too sometimes (8 wing over here). I've found that waking up before my 3 year old helps the day start off wayy better than him finding me asleep and me wishing I could just keep sleeping. Definitely going to remember these tips and print the scripture cards ❤
This was great and so helpful! I totally went into rage mode during naptime today because my twin toddlers were bouncing and throwing themselves on the beds. Love the water glass analogy! I completely feel like that. I used to think I was a good person, patient, etc. and after becoming a mom I feel like a mad, impatient, angry person. 🤦🏼♀️😩
Same same! It has certainly brought out the worst in me! Thanks for just reaching out and sharing that the struggle is real. This really shows me that I need to keep talking about it, because I know it is such a common struggle. Hoping some mama timeouts save you and me from rage mode soon. ❤
@@girlteachme yes! Going to need the momma timeouts 😅
@@LiveOakNest hahaha me too, at least I can tell the kids that I have grown up consquences too, except I rather enjoy time out all alone hahaha
Thank you so much for being so honest. I struggle with this too. I always apologize to my little one and I’m still working on that fork in the road decision. I appreciate this video. Love your tips.
Yes, you are definitely not alone in this struggle, praying for the fork in the road moments and for the strength and power to take the right one more and more. I know we don't have to stay in this state forever. And I am still taking lots of mama timeouts too hahaha
Super Relatable❤ we are only human making new mistakes everuday. Gotta feel those feelings and continue to do better everyday and apologize when we are wrong ✨️
Totally!
Thank you for sharing, because I am struggling with my 4 and 5 year old boys. I feel like an angry monster of a mom, but it's because I'm overwhelmed. I need to hold myself and my husband more accountable. Thank you for making this video and sharing tips, I was able to calm down and breathe my way through it yesterday and it helped a lot!
Thankful for finding this today!
Ah I am so glad, motherhood anger is so real! Praying that today will be a wonderful one for you and your kids
This was so good and helpful. I need to follow through on first time Obedience much more than I do currently, and it’s true, it’s a split second decision that can change the course of rage or having self control. Mommy time outs for the win to get clarity! Thanks, Lana!
Thank you Kelly for watching!
I love the idea to go on a walk each day. It’s a win win with getting a little time along and just getting some fresh air! Thanks for the vulnerability and sharing what’s worked for you 💕
Thanks for watching Margy! ❤️
Wow! Thank you for your honesty, this is so relatable and helpful!!!!
Ah I am so glad to share my struggles if they can help you and any other woman 🤍
This was incredibly helpful and so encouraging ❤Thank you so much for sharing this and for your transparency!
so good lana! thank you for talking about it! I never struggled with anger until recently and it threw me for a loop!!
Ah thank you for watching friend!
I really needed this. I can't explain it but seeing other moms leaving comments where they also experience it brings me comfort, like I'm not the only one who goes through this. In my surrounding, i am around moms who have it together/ everything is great and a blessing. Which leaves me feeling, I'm inadequate cuz i get stressed and lose my composure with my kids and failure coz i don't have it "together ".
I think so many women put up that facade, but underneath we are ALL struggling in one way or another. Motherhood anger is just an area that feels shameful, so I get it. I even struggled today with it and I am asking Jesus for help and my kids for forgiveness. So sending love and prayers! You are certainly not alone ❤
@@girlteachme thank you for your kind words. Keep up the important work. I can see that God is working through you to help and bless others in various pathways. Sometimes, in our daily life, it is easy to forgot our humanity. Even though its basic, its still vital show kindness and grace. When I need a reminder, I come and check out your videos now. God bless you and your family. You're a great mother 💖
Thank you for your content! I have a 2 year old and 8 month old and this is so relevant to me and something i have been really working on. I struggle with 2 year old tantrums/instigating/etc and sleeplessness and needing time to myself so i needed to hear all these things. I dont want to be an angry mama! I love them so much but motherhood has certainly showed me i am not as patient as i used to think! I subscribed and saved so many videos to watch later. Im glad to have a Christian motherhood resource and encouragement!
Ah that is a lot Kinsey, I really can relate to so many of the struggles you are going through. I was just reading to the kids today about the struggles Paul went through and how he had the perspective that the struggles were worth it to proclaim Christ. I know you and I are fighting for the same, the struggles are worth it to share Christ with our littles even if they can’t fully comprehend yet. I am still struggling with mama anger too, but by God’s grace and mercy, I pray we can be changed little by little to put off our anger. It’s my hardest battle by far these days. Lots of prayers and love your way to keep being faithful in the unseen ❤️
Wow, thank you so much for this video. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be a mom that struggles with anger.
I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression and rage when my son was just 2 months old, and I feel like it's something I've never fully recovered from.
Im so tired of being an angry mom, and I have times or days or even weeks when im good and calm and then out of nowhere I blow and then I feel like it sets me back again.
My son has level 3 autism and just hit himself in the face with shoe because I would not let him put his donut on the floor and I lost it!
I smacked his arm, yelled at him and took the donut away and he just cried and I instantly felt guilt and shame. I don't like physical discipline but I always find myself doing it.
What kind of mom hits their autistic 3 1/2 year old for not listening when they already have a communication disability? ME thats who, and I feel like just a bad mom.
So I apologized to him, and then found this video. Thank you for sharing this while you were still learning it yourself. Im in therapy to get help for my rage but this video was a great resource too.
Oh Taylor, my heart hurts so badly because I REALLY get how you are feeling right now. If any mom is honest at all with themselves and others they can resonate with this feeling in some way or another. You are in process, little by little with the help of Jesus and by being in community with other women who are seeking real truth I think you can take some ground in becoming a more gentle mama as you love and coach your son through these challenges he is facing. I think the realization that I just can't do motherhood alone has made such a difference for me, PRAYING that God will help you, cry out to Him and He is ready to help you. He gently leads those who have young. God will be tender with you as you seek to love this little one He has given you! I still struggle friend, but you are doing the right thing! Getting down on his level, asking for forgiveness and getting therapy. Way to go Taylor! Feel free to reach out on instagram anytime to chat more. Big love and prayers your way! Your legacy as a mama is so important to your son and this world so keep going 🤍
@@girlteachme Thank you so much! I will definitely be reaching out more!
I love this. Thank you so much for making this video. To a T I 100% feel everything you're saying and go through the same things with my anger. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only momma that feels this way.
I so appreciate your realness. I'm right there with you work in progress
Whew it is tough, but I know God is making little changes in us that are hard to see. Praying we can both look back and see all the small shifts turn into big changes for our motherhood. Thank you for the encouragement, it isn't easy sharing these struggles but I am know I am not alone in them. ❤️
So beautifully said, I’m thankful for heathy resources like yours and to be learning processes like these early on in my mom journey, you’re an inspiration!
Thanks so much Sara! ❤️
Loving all your stuff that is very relatable in my world! Thank you, Lana❤️
Ah Jessina, thank you for stopping to give encouragement!
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏾
Oh so glad it was helpful! I am actually hoping to make another video in the next couple of months about this topic. I have been doing more digging and getting more help and I have so more I want to share. Sending love your way bc I know this journey is not easy ❤
Super helpful & thanks for the encouragement! I think I need to have more mommy timeouts
hahah me too! Thanks for watching friend!
Lord, please forgive me for losing it and yelling at my 12 YO again🙏😭🙏 It's soo hard being a single mum with an argumentative teenager, who thinks she knows best😢 Everyday is a struggle and ends in an argument, I'm just so tired! I ask God for strength,patience and wisdom every single day, to be able to remain calm etc, but I fail miserably 😭 Thank you so much for this video, God bless you and yours 🙏❤🙏
@ LittleSister1981
You just described my Home situation with 1 of my 3 daughters. My 17 year old cannot have a word with me about school, friends, siblings, etc without letting me know that I'm a shitty parent, how I manage to get her mad because it's her life and she's not me so she doesnt need Sh*t from me always fighting with the youngest sister who's 15 that has been sleeping in the living room because they go back and forth hiding each others material things. My house has never been so unorganized, messy, cluttered, and taken for granted by Me because I can't seem to catch up with the mess the 4 young people make 3 girls - ages 19, 17, 15
1 son age 24 it seems that we're Regressing instead of Progressing.
My bathroom has become my comfort Zone but there's times that I get 3 to 4 drop in visits with demands, complaints, wants, needs, etc. That heats me up, makes me cry and bite a towel.
All this I say to let you know that there's More of Us out here than you think, so take it 1 day at a time, find a moment to yourself and just block or ignore everyone out just for a little physical and mental pause and reset. God Bless You.
Such a good video!🙌🏽❤️
Victoria, thank you for stopping to encourage me!
My kid repeatedly did the same kind of mistakes,i've told him like thousand times, he is 8 years old but he keep on doing the same things with a face expression that indicates as if he is teasing me so it makes me soo angry everytime on him.... but i really get frustrated and regret after scolding me and in this way i ruined my whole day because i can't focus on anyting....the regret is alot. I am the one who apologizes to him , he never took the step to apologize to his mother first.... this is really frustrating.
Ah I feel your frustration in this comment, whew motherhood is the hardest job, but the most rewarding in my opinion. I love that you apologized first. I have talked to sooo many adults and they just wish so badly their parents had one time even said they were sorry. Praying that your love and how you are modeling forgiveness melts your 8-year-old's heart to do what is right. I get the regret too. Praying tomorrow feels like a fresh start for you. ❤
Thanks so much for sharing! I too need to take a mommy timeout and be more consistent about dealing with first disobedience.
Brandi, me too, me too! It makes such a difference! Thanks for watching and taking the time to leave a comment.
❤
Saying sorry isn't enough. We tell others apologise and that helps but yeah it might help but it's like a bandaid. It's not good enough. We still pass down trauma, saying sorry isn't enough.
And mumma time out don't work when you have little kids. I'm sick of these superficial fixes.
I'm sorry to be an angry bum but obviously I'm struggling with this and this is the only advice I find but it's not enough.
Yes I agree, these are strategies. But really only Jesus can help us and heal us and change us. That is what I am asking Him to do for me, but these tools are some of the ways He has personally helped me. My kids do need to hear I am sorry and see I mean it. Can I apologize and then ust keep on with bad behavior, no, but I can ask Jesus to help me, humble myself and apologize and then try again I think also reaching out to others and sharing that we are struggling. More women are struggling with this than we know, because it isn't something people want to share about. I know you and I are not alone.I believe that Satan would love to keep us in bondage of guilt and shame, but Jesus wants to set us free from that and then help us change. Will the change be instant? No, but He can change us from the inside out if we ask Him too. I know I can see progress in this area from His help and I believe you can too. But I think the first step is to admit we need help and then cry out to Him for it. You are right. No tricks, hacks or strategies will be enough, we need help from the One who made us and our children. Sending love your way, because you wouldn't have watched the video if you didn't have the desire to change and be a better mama which means you love and care so much ❤️
I’ve been struggling with this (mom rage) for couple of years now. It’s gone down a notch but I think I could improve a little bit more. Definitely when im sleep-deprived (which is most days) , I’m very easily triggered so it has been my mission to fix my sleep. I also need to willfully choose to go on mama time-out. This has been my husband’s advice but I haven’t done it I don’t know why! I also heard a good tip from a podcast: to pause, take a deep breath and say a mama affirmation on your head like “I’m a gentle mama, etc” or envision your kid as a baby because nobody gets mad at a baby right? These have worked for me in the past but I did it for a few time only so they haven’t become a habit. I think I’ve turned into yelling as a habit or my method of “mothering” or discipline.. but let’s get real, my way of controlling the situation I guess. Because when I think I hard, some of my triggers are partly my fault. Like, I could’ve gotten up earlier so I could make my breakfast, make theirs as opposed to multitasking and being rushed.. sigh 😔
Micah, I really do feel so much of this. I am still very much so working on this. I am still asking for my kid's forgiveness A LOT. It has opened some doors for me to tell them I am not perfect, I need forgiveness like we all do and that I am asking Jesus to change me. I have even had the kid's start praying that I will grow in being a gentle mama. So lots of gospel moments from moments I would rather not have. I think too, just making sure we are on top of sleep, nourishment and not being depleted goes a long way. Also, just trying to not be in a hurry anywhere. That seems to be a trigger for me. Girl, asking Jesus to move mountains for you in this area and for your motherhood to grow exponentially in this area for the good of you, your kids and your home. I know you are a good mama by how much you care and want to change in this area🤍🤍🤍 we are all a work in progress. Thanks for chatting and feel free to always drop me a dm on insta to chat more. Happy to support you anyway I can 🤍
@@girlteachme I’ve asked forgiveness from my kids too many times I think. Just two days ago, I weeped with my 5 year old daughter for overreacting… I’m afraid I’ve been too consistent with my anger that I’ve traumatized them too much. I don’t want them to grow up as people pleasers like me.. I don’t want to repeat my parents’ mistakes. Still, thank you so much for the encouragement.. I guess by saying sorry every time I hurt them, means I’m on the right path.. ❤️
@@120mitchmd I hear you and I have expressed the same concerns to my husband. I actually do think it shows that we are on the right path, we are not justifying our anger, brushing it off or acting like it is the kid's fault. I have opened up to a lot of trusted friends about this and overwhelmingly they have told me that what hurt the most about their parent's anger was that they always thought it was their fault, bc their parents rarely if ever apologized. I think we are taking this sin seriously, acting for God to show up the moment we can CHOOSE to do walk away and not lash out and asking for forgiveness. God never grows weary of forgiving us when we ask. So let's just keep asking. 100% talking to myself too Micah. I am not fully on the other side of this yet. Love chatting through this 🤍 we are not alone
@@girlteachme it truly is a journey isn’t it? Why are we (women) always quick to criticize ourselves and find fault? I’m not a perfectionist by any means but I still beat up myself for this. Mom guilt is so real!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write those encouraging words. They mean a lot to me ❤️❤️❤️ God bless you!
@@120mitchmd Yes it is a journey! I think that is where a faith in Jesus is so compelling. He gives us what we don't deserve, so now I can give those littles what they don't deserve with patience and grace. BUT when i mess up and "this well oh well I have asked for forgiveness too many times" thought creeps into my head Jesus continues to give us what we don't deserve-complete forgiveness. I was processing through this with my community group. I had a tough week with anger, but was sooo much the sleep deprivation of caring for littles in the night catch up with me. Micah praying that we continue to have breakthroughs where our kids can see us trying to be a gentle and kind momma and that it would open good news conversations about Jesus for both of us. I think this may be the hardest battle I have had in parenting, but I know God can create beauty from these real ashes for us. Thanks for chatting in the comments! Means the world to connect with other mommas in this way!