I had surgery and the doctor put me on Vicodin, I was so out of it, my kids took advantage of me - sleep overs, pizza during a school night "mom you were so much fun"
Pam Stewart It’s worse for us women. How can they go to medical school for that long and not know enough math to tell the difference between room temperature and body temperature where the speculum is concerned? And they wonder why we clench up!
"And they use that stuff, that riiipp stuff! it's like axel grease isnt fella's? you cant wash that stuff off with lava soap and an SOS pad. and my doctor wants to talk to me while he's doin it! shut up! just do me, then we'll chat, alright!" OMG LMAO! priceless!
I had my apendix burst and couldnt have it taken out for 10 hours after it burst. I was getting kidney failure and gangrene by the time they removed it. After i got out of the hospital, they gave me vicodin. i was on vicodin for a week and im 14, its not a big deal and i wasnt addicted. And i can honestly say that was the worst pain of my life and i was glad i had vicodin. its better then the morphine cause that made me bitchy and i only remember about 4 hours total of the 6 days i was there.
@UGLYSTIKCOLIN I haven't trusted narcotics since that episode, and I remember that I put up with that stupid buzz high and no pain relief for three days, then said, "Screw this, gimme the Advil!" That stuff knocks the pain out without knocking ME out in the process. Definitely an improvement.
what are you looking at? Bill: saaaaaaaandd. its every where!!! it blew its nose on us!!!! you know what would make my day? Bill: a GED? no no no dude i dont want ged.
@dragondancer1814 I totally agree. I had surgery on my toe, and had no pain killers after the numbing agent wore off. Because my toe had been infected, it hurt like a bastard. I literally pulled hair out to distract the pain. I got a couple Vicoden and it might as well have been Tylenol. A few Percocet later.... things were different. It sucked. Like a crazy buzz high. Dizzy as hell.
my apendix ruptured inside me, and they had to take it out 10 hours later since there was a kidney transplant that went on longer then expected. was in the hospital for 6 days and when i was released i took vicodin. Its a pain drug thats THAT good.
it's a differant story when it comes to viciden and my dad maning he turns into his mother's alcohool simulated counterpart and well leave it at that for further explenation he basicly becomes the exact opposet of the traditinal effect
@thereddog223 I had all four of my (impacted) wisdom teeth extracted when I was 18, they gave me Vicodin, and that stuff did not do SQUAT. My jaws were hurting so bad that even the THOUGHT of eating pudding made me want to scream, and all that crap did was give me a buzz.. Didn't do ANYTHING for the pain. How am I supposed to enjoy a narcotic buzz when my jaws feel like a boxer pounded on them? It could be worse, I guess...my husband's allergic to it!
At 3:44, when he says "It's been three days!", 36 hours isn't three days. That would be 72 hours. lol! 36 hours is a day and a half; hence "weekender."
no, i don't walk, talk, dress and try to act and look like foxworthy. no, not at all. i'm totally original. swear. here's yer sign, see. jeff never said that. i am not a talentless idiot living off of jeff's every move. i'd still be a comedian even if jeff didn't exist. all these ideas are my own. they are.
I fell on a sidewalk. Tripped over the concrete barrier. My friend was a pain in the ass. Barb, get me coffee. Did you make me coffee. It was her apartment. I was her guest. Everytime I tried to shower, she had to shit. She claimed fibromyalgia. I claimed fibromyass. I'm not your father or your truck driver friend. She's a nurse. When I fell, she watched and claimed her innocence. After five days of Barb do this Barb do that. I had to sleep on her floor the first night. Her blowup bed took just plugging it into the wall. I slept on the giant marshmallow for a couple hours. Then she deposited her carcass on it the next three nights. Miss fibromyalgia drove her car like the millennium falcon. Pushing all the aliens off the road. I can stop on a dime.
@platinum2021 Seriously? You're analyzing a comedian's joke? Dude, suspend belief for a few minutes. He was exaggerating anyways. Besides, it's a JOKE! Laugh a little.
He makes me laugh so much and it helps
"just do me then we'll chat." I was laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe.
"Hey, doc. Why dont you tell me what Im THINKING!" My words on my last physical
Omg...I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.! ❤😂😅❤
He is hilarious !😂
"and knowing my wife at 35 hrs and 59 mins she would yell, I'M ALMOST THERE!!!" lmfao!!!! hahahaha LUUVVVV Bill!
His wife has humor that is another reason it works she is funny too She does not get offended by his jokes about her and their sex life LOL
She knows he does not mean disrespect they have respect and humor a lot of marriages are so uptight
"Half a Vicodin and a Bahama Mama... makes for a BITCHING day!"
i love his new little outbursts. didn't do that on 15 degrees off cool. loving it. reminds me of Lewis Black
All I learned about vicoden I learned from this man. VERY helpful when it was prescribed to me for a major toothache.
36 hours?! I'm thrilled if it lasts 3 to 6 minutes!!
Wonder y I was addicted to. Pills lol Vicodin’s r awesome 👏 sad so true
'ludes are better!😜
I had surgery and the doctor put me on Vicodin, I was so out of it, my kids took advantage of me - sleep overs, pizza during a school night "mom you were so much fun"
Here's your sign now you men know how we women feel in the OBGYN s office
Pam Stewart It’s worse for us women. How can they go to medical school for that long and not know enough math to tell the difference between room temperature and body temperature where the speculum is concerned? And they wonder why we clench up!
Hahahaha!! At 2:35 you can here a woman say "Oh please!" Hahahaha!!!!! Love this and 15 Degrees so much!
"And they use that stuff, that riiipp stuff! it's like axel grease isnt fella's? you cant wash that stuff off with lava soap and an SOS pad. and my doctor wants to talk to me while he's doin it! shut up! just do me, then we'll chat, alright!" OMG LMAO! priceless!
Yep...menopause sucks. We need a " little blue pill" for us women!!
hahahahahaha!!! Bill Engvall is so funny!!!
"geez...thats my cerebrum ET"
haha that part is funny
Thanks for warning me that doctors like pillow talk during a prostate exam.
Whoever disliked this needs a sign
There's 19 at the time I'm posting this-Bill needs a lot of signs to hand out!
Nancy O'Malley omg...who would dislike this? Crazy! 84 now! Stupid people!
the no drug and alcohol tolerance reminds me of my stepdad
Having a dog that nobody else can hear when she gets up at night to go out is also a reason for getting up to pee at night
hey doc, why don't you tell me what i'm THINKIN! CAUSE YOUR TOUCHIN MY BRAIN, JEEZ THATS MY CEREBRUM E.T.
Wonderful.
My dad always says he tried getting old once, he didn’t like it
god, i can relate to the popping bones part
"Hans I cant feel my back"
He goes UGGGGH!!
A 1/2 Vicodin & A Bahmma Momma , Make's for a Bitchnnn Dayyy....
:)
A VERY strong perscription painkiller
I don't think they sell it anymore - switched it for some thing else (can't remember the name)
A good sign dude
jesus i just saw some of this i laughed so hard i followed through!
I had my apendix burst and couldnt have it taken out for 10 hours after it burst.
I was getting kidney failure and gangrene by the time they removed it.
After i got out of the hospital, they gave me vicodin.
i was on vicodin for a week and im 14, its not a big deal and i wasnt addicted.
And i can honestly say that was the worst pain of my life and i was glad i had vicodin.
its better then the morphine cause that made me bitchy and i only remember about 4 hours total of the 6 days i was there.
Wow! Glad you survived it!
"oooh I had pain"
so would i
Don't question his logic!!! XD
excellent raspberry sound at 0:40
@UGLYSTIKCOLIN I haven't trusted narcotics since that episode, and I remember that I put up with that stupid buzz high and no pain relief for three days, then said, "Screw this, gimme the Advil!" That stuff knocks the pain out without knocking ME out in the process. Definitely an improvement.
awesome
So true!!!
what are you looking at? Bill: saaaaaaaandd. its every where!!! it blew its nose on us!!!!
you know what would make my day? Bill: a GED? no no no dude i dont want ged.
Oohh, I had paaiin! LMFAO
Hey doc, why don't you tell me what I'm THINKING?!
Why?
Because you're touching my brain!!
"Im thrilled if it lasts 3 to 6 minutes" XD
haha, the funny part is that 36 hours isn't even close to 3 days
now its 7. and counting. btw, guess where the milk i was drinking ended up? yeah. all over the screen. laughing too hard.
The only good side effect is, they'd have a handle they could carry me out of the building with. LMAO.
4:51 Dude, I used that thing at the gym, it freakin' hurts!!!
7 people took the weekender.
Thats my brain!
5:14 OMG I have tears in my eyes. XD
or.... i could watch Law & Order and drink two beers.
@starwars96 Taken a little tour of Vicodin Land, have you?
28 hours: TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
@dragondancer1814 I totally agree. I had surgery on my toe, and had no pain killers after the numbing agent wore off. Because my toe had been infected, it hurt like a bastard. I literally pulled hair out to distract the pain. I got a couple Vicoden and it might as well have been Tylenol. A few Percocet later.... things were different. It sucked. Like a crazy buzz high. Dizzy as hell.
Just do me, then we'll chat! lmao
"Shut up! Just do me, then we'll talk!" XD
"We could walk out on the 91, get hit by a semi, POW, and be like "My fault! My fault!"
my apendix ruptured inside me, and they had to take it out 10 hours later since there was a kidney transplant that went on longer then expected.
was in the hospital for 6 days and when i was released i took vicodin.
Its a pain drug thats THAT good.
Just do me then We'll CHaaaaaat!
it's a differant story when it comes to viciden and my dad maning he turns into his mother's alcohool simulated counterpart and well leave it at that for further explenation he basicly becomes the exact opposet of the traditinal effect
@thereddog223 I had all four of my (impacted) wisdom teeth extracted when I was 18, they gave me Vicodin, and that stuff did not do SQUAT. My jaws were hurting so bad that even the THOUGHT of eating pudding made me want to scream, and all that crap did was give me a buzz.. Didn't do ANYTHING for the pain. How am I supposed to enjoy a narcotic buzz when my jaws feel like a boxer pounded on them?
It could be worse, I guess...my husband's allergic to it!
and they use that stuff.... that BLLUTZZZZTTTT stuff
Ooh!, Mr Vicodin!!
...He He. E.T.! ^^
The shower head must be full of sand again poor women
7:23 Bitchnnnn Dayy. He looks just like Charlie Sheen.
@MercyFyre its up to 5, now
For some reason, Vicodin makes me aggressive. I had to take it for a double ear infection and yeah...
Yicks that sucks
@moviemaker667 Well actually... if you start at 9 in the evening on friday, you'll last until 9 in the morning on sunday. That spans three days.
"The Weekender!" ha ha Viagra is stupid!
At 3:44, when he says "It's been three days!", 36 hours isn't three days. That would be 72 hours. lol! 36 hours is a day and a half; hence "weekender."
Exaggeration for comic effect!
that actually works
Nyquil should have a worm in the bottle
36 hours is not 3 days its 1 1/2 days
Really, don't they have cameras for that now?
TAA DAA
@HollyAnn123: silly blonde, if u start at 10:00pm on Friday, 24 hours later, it's Saturday. the other 12 hours later, it's Sunday.
5 people are circus freaks ;)
@roosterboy5 it's 5, now.
5 people got touched weirdly
Send him fishing an 😃
it's a joke, don't stress it. It's funny regardless, ne?
Funny
@AzraelKnight
Agreed...
what's vicoden?
I used to alsoRonnie
Nice hey can u add me, to your friends list?
Pain medicine
I like this skit but I liked 15 degrees off coll better.
@Agent13Yosh I THINK UR RITE
just do me then we'll chat!
no, i don't walk, talk, dress and try to act and look like foxworthy. no, not at all. i'm totally original. swear. here's yer sign, see. jeff never said that. i am not a talentless idiot living off of jeff's every move. i'd still be a comedian even if jeff didn't exist. all these ideas are my own. they are.
Take it down an wash it out women it unscrews look for the screen in it
I fell on a sidewalk. Tripped over the concrete barrier. My friend was a pain in the ass. Barb, get me coffee. Did you make me coffee. It was her apartment. I was her guest. Everytime I tried to shower, she had to shit. She claimed fibromyalgia. I claimed fibromyass. I'm not your father or your truck driver friend. She's a nurse. When I fell, she watched and claimed her innocence. After five days of Barb do this Barb do that. I had to sleep on her floor the first night. Her blowup bed took just plugging it into the wall. I slept on the giant marshmallow for a couple hours. Then she deposited her carcass on it the next three nights. Miss fibromyalgia drove her car like the millennium falcon. Pushing all the aliens off the road. I can stop on a dime.
She got paid off. To make sure I didn't have fun. No woman around wants to see Barb have fun.
vicodin= medical acid
3:42 You should study math...
@platinum2021 Seriously? You're analyzing a comedian's joke? Dude, suspend belief for a few minutes. He was exaggerating anyways. Besides, it's a JOKE! Laugh a little.
just do me and then we'll chat!!!!!