4 Things a Narcissist NEVER Gets Over
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- In this video, we're going to talk about the 4 things that a narcissist NEVER gets over. These are the things that will keep them feeling insecure and angry throughout their lives.
Narcissists are incredibly insecure people, and these 4 things are the key things that keep them feeling that way. By understanding these concepts, you can start to heal the damage that has been done to you.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
01:00 1.hating and wanting to hurt or destroy you for exposing them
02:29 2. Losing control over you & not being able to use you again
04:32 3.they can't find energy like you gave them
07:29 4.not understanding how you didn't see how great they are
09:23 The conclusion
What’s even more sad, is dealing with a narcissist for the first time and not knowing it. You realize something isn’t right, but you just can’t put your finger on it.
True story in my case.
But now that i found out what kind of person they are , it will never happen to me again. It takes years to get them out of your mind too.
My narcissist dropped me after 1 year and never explained why, but went back with his ex wife who divorced him 4 years prior, after 5 years with her he came back to me and said he made a mistake . I was not very nice to him and never heard from him again. His loss,
It’s a great lesson not everyone is like you. You think people think as you do .They also think everyone is like them everyone thinks like them It the positive mindset against the negative mindset.I was told I was the light and the other was the darkness.And I had to find my answers as did you .😊
When you gain awareness, that's when it all starts to make sense. They would do or say certain things that would make you pause and it's like wait awhile and then you're like, they must be going through something or having a bad day worse if they're telling you they going through stuff and you just go well that makes sense. Until it starts to become a cycle with no good change.
J
B
Now imagine that the worst narcissist you will ever have in your life is your oarent.
It makes me sad to think that other people have been tormented by a narcissist the way I have been.
It's a terrible experience to go through. Very damaging.
I no what it is like to live with a narasistic Man pure evil inside and out.. will tear you Apart God Please help Us !!! To. Get Out .
The worst is when one drags you through a lengthy court process based on lies and you have to pay 10s of thousands of dollars to clear your name. It’s all bad but that’s been the worst and it’s happening to my husband with his ex girlfriend who he shares a child with. It’s disgusting to witness
I was a healthy woman when I met my husband. He is a covert narcissist and is kind , caring and shows compassion to everyone else. It saddens me to think I could have been fooled by such a blatant liar.
If I had family support, financial independence I would have left many years ago.
Because I now have pancreatic cancer, neuropathy, rheumatoid arthritis and macular degeneration Irs impossible. It’s very common for victims of narcissistic abuse to get very physically sick. I feel sorry for anyone going through this terrible abuse.
My son married a narcissist and has 2 young children with her. He has begun to see what she is - but has not figured out how to exit and still protect his children. It is gut wrenching to watch.
Its impossible to describe being abused by a narcissist , without sounding like a narcissist .
Funny
But it’s true! To try to explain the harm
a narcissist has done you requires turning the focus onto your experience of pain and abuse at the hands of someone whose surface charisma, public charm and reputation may cause you to be disbelieved. Or that you’re exaggerating or seeking outsized attention of your own. It’s definitely tricky to navigate and may explain why the victims of a narcissist often choose to remain silent.
I know. It’s funny that. You sound so itsy bitsy so small minded but that is what they’re like 24/7
No, when you get TOTALLY clear of them and heal and regain your strength and perception, it is very, very easy to describe it - and accurately!
@@goldenautumn3073 Read it again . Slowly.
1) hating you for exposing them. 2) losing control over you and not able to use you 3) loss of supply 4) not understanding how you didn’t see how great they are
Number 4 made me giggle 🤭 thanks for that 😊
Oh my goodness, this is my mother to a tee!! She is 83 and still going strong being a narc. I have been abused by her my whole life (I'm 59)!! I didn't know there was a name for it until about 3 years ago. I have been working on forgiveness and it is hard!! I will forgive her (for me, not her) at the moment I am no contact for the most part. She is truly delusional and most of the family are still in her web. I did so much for her, never got credit, only telling others I am crazy. I don't care anymore I have the love of God and He takes care of me. I know where she is headed and have warned her but she knows better!!
God bless you all who are struggling with this abuse---------
Thank you 🙏🏼
@@aprilholton1150my father is in his late 80's and still going... I do thing too their narcissism gives them a certain tenacity.
I suspect myself being a narcissist and 4 is HUGE for me!!!!
Amazing how narc parents dedicate their lives to making their scapegoat children feel worthless without them. What a joy to get clarity and the freedom it can bring.
I don’t know how they have the energy to keep up with it! ❤
They lose the deepest regulator to their darkest emotions. That’s why it hurts them more than losing any other child. Scapegoats indulge their most inner state and take the abuse the best.
@@kiddytube3915 that's very insightful, I as the "scapegoat" child understands all too well everything you said there.🎯💯
@darlapeelman1610 Me too, I'm another scapegoat. This was really profound. Right now I'm going through setting the boundaries and distancing myself from my narcissist mother, and I keep hearing from my dad (they're still married) that she simply cannot handle it and cannot understand why I'm doing it. I just keep saying that if she truly loves me, she will let me go. That's the only right thing for her to do. If I regret it or if I think I've made a mistake, I'll come back to her. She's terrified because she knows I won't come back. Too bad.
My mom was a narcissist. This is why I've been no contact for three years. It took Angie Atkinson to make me realize what was wrong with her.
I’m an empath and codependent who attracts toxic people. I’m so glad I will never be in a relationship again. I’ve been through so much. Freedom is good.
Hugs me too
My ex wife became codependent what a nightmare she was.
My mother is a narcissist. I went gray rock and I watched her crumble. She lacked her narcissistic supply and she was so mad that I figured her out and shattered her false image. I can relate to loving a parent so much that the mere existence of living without them is unbearable. Who would've thought that one person I thought I couldn't live without is the one person I'm better off living away from. Thank you for this video.
Same here, my mom is a narc. too but she still has the supply she needs to survive💔 yes my siblings and I see her true form but not two of my brothers and father and her friends and our relatives💔
Me too ...my brother and sister moved away to be rid of her
But they are very similar to her
I'm ok with hanging around but she hates that I have her worked out...I quite enjoy ruining her fantasies, she stopped crying mid conversation because she realised it didn't work on me and the rage stopped ...but she's still supremely annoying
@@shon4308 Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope one day you can break free and your relatives can see through her abusive ways. Take care of yourself
@@oftin_wong Sounds like you have a good handle on things
@@laurelwarner5073 yes ...thanks although I'd prefer it to be different ..oh well
The healing has begun. When I listen to this channel, I feel seen and heard. This is a powerful healing and strengthening experience. I am most grateful.
Yes!!
❤
Agreed! He is actually talking about things I have experienced w/my ex narc, the nudity, the asthma that started one month after being married. Until I heard him speak on these things, I was didn’t say anything out loud r/t how stupid it made me look and I have enough of those things going on. Some of I’ve listened to talk about behaviors but ALL the exact same behaviors. Danish speaks on the living moments that are blown off and I truly appreciate that. It’s the first time I feel vindicated w/in that my body truly knew marrying him was not what I wanted!
Me too! Thank you Danish.
If narcissists could be made of stone, they probably would. They never change even when the world all around them is constantly moving in bright and new directions. 😢😱
Actually the world the way it is today a narcissist would be perfectly happy in.
My loved one was a stone in his career as a law officer- he was a good cop. Chaotic scenes were handled so well, didn't cause him trauma. His narcissism makes him a horrifying husband. Thank you for your videos.
They absolutely NEVER CHANGE!!! RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!! 💥🎯
The world is NOT changing in “bright and new directions.”
@Navops1067 I guess it depends on your 👉 of view. I believe that change, even for the worst in some cases, is inevitable.
I Left a narcissistic relationship after 30 years. Took me that long to figure it out. I'm sure that was a blow to them. I went cold turkey. They've got to know the real reason I left!
And they do I'm still in one 30 years he is typical abusive narcissist.
Get out people
They know. If they didn't know they wouldn't work so hard to cover it up.
After 28 miserable years, I divorced the narcissist and took him for half of everything including his 401(k) & Pension.
He turned around and married an innocent clueless Japanese girl, 30 years younger than him. She doesn’t understand what a violent, belligerent, arrogant asshat he is & I wish I could tell her he also carries HPV & bacterial STD’s because he sleeps around a lot.
30 years it took me to figure it out also.
I kept forgiving and trying to please him.
Not knowing that's completely impossible to do💔
Now at 64, I'm unable
to work.
And am
✝️🛐🙏 ING for a
50% attachment on his wages 🎉🎉🎉
I'm so grateful 🥲 the LORD is helping me gentle and kindly to heal ❤ from the crazy abuse.
And I will keep you in my prayers ❤
AGAPE 💛 Sister
This makes makes me feel less shame😢 been dealing with it around 15yrs
Its hard having one narcissistic parent as ive seen the ex husband literally destroy our children with his meaness, cruelty and literally not caring at all. I cant imagine what it must be like for you Danish having two narc parents. I am so sorry and hope you have found peace finally.❤
I think he is enjoying in a way outing his parents as narcissists
I'd do the same thing and I have actually
This is also happening to me and my children, the hurt he causes to my children is torture for me, he just don't care and not bothered if he sees them at all, all he thinks about is himself and spending time with his girlfriend, sick bastard he is.
“You should be struggling...”
My god, this is so real and so chilling. These people are complete cowards who want you dead. Pure and simple, they hate themselves and cannot love anything. I am so sorry you share the same family type, Bashir, but I appreciate your position tremendously - parents who wish for your pain and stagnation are utter destroyers, evil incarnate. Pray for them - at a distance!!! Thanks for your terrific content!
??Why would you pray for evil? Are you okay?
They does not have a soul
You want them to disappear not get support!
Michael - it is NOT the narcissist that wants you dead. It is the COVERT NARCISSIST. These are the ones that will isolate your from family members, They orchestrate you loosing everything and anything that is important to you, job, home, car, friends. THEN they will actually make attempts to kill you until the day they actually do. RUN without warning.
@@cosmicreef5858some people listen to the Most High...He says pray for those who hate you. It's for many reasons, but chief reason is what it does in your own heart.
So after 23 years with narcissistic husband I’m going to file for separation. For me it’s the first step
I told him how devastated I am by this. I feel like the last 23 have all been a lie. He literally had no reaction. Feels NOTHING. And I think he may have a gay side as well. I’m not going to delve deeper into that because it’s just too much to deal with.
Left my father last year and now my husband. My sister as well. I am proud though because I’ve raised 2 amazing young men age 18 and 13. I’ve broke the cycle with my kids and now I’ll be the FIRST woman in my family history in the last 150 years of abuse to actually stand up and change it! My great grandmother killed herself or was killed by my great grandfather. He disappeared her until I found her grave a couple of years ago. I’m terrified. I’m 56 years old. It’s taken me 40 years to get to this point. THIS channel is what has given me the knowledge I need to continue toward freedom.
May God be with you! 🙏
It's taken me 32 years to realise its not normal for a husband to treat his wife this way, man, cruel man, arrogant and no emotions, going through divorce now, he's got another woman already but I'm thinking he must of cheated in our marriage, lying pig.
I heard that narcs have a gay side. Anyone has heard this also ??
It takes us a long time to wrap our head around what happened to us. I'm 63 & just now putting the family dysfunction pieces together.
Don’t stop rising upward and outward. You’ve got this! Your boys are still impressionable though so keep an eye on them. Narcs are devious and don’t stop their deceit and attempts to control until they are physically incapacitated(cannot speak or write), in jail, or dead or you are no contact. All the best.
I was a witness to a narcissist multi-millionaire losing it all. Literally, he became homeless.
He ended up in prison a month after he was in the gutter.
This video made me think of something my mother said to me when I was newly married. When I asked about getting together with her and dad, she made a comment to me about how shouldn’t I be spending time with my family instead? It was an unnecessary dig to which I replied “aren’t you my family?” She muttered, “I guess so…” Instead of being direct about feelings, passive-aggressive comments became the norm. It was clear to me that she was feeling replaced, but the more I’m learning about narcissism, it was more about loss of supply. Incidentally, I ended up marrying a narcissistic psychopath, which was well masked at the time. We’ve since divorced. Being an empath, narcissists are drawn to me like moths to a flame. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned the importance of boundaries and no longer feel badly about enforcing them.
When my twin lost access to hurting me…she started ramping up hurting others. All my life I never understood how she could be so intensely cruel and then act like she never hurt me. Bizarre behavior and I’ve only just figured out who she is. We are now in our 50s. This is very real and it is not just partners / spouses. They’re in families and they will lie, cheat and steal and laugh at you as they do. Evil.
Your sibling was used as much as u were it was like a cocktail figet orchestraTed by an adult blame that adult not your sibling
I'm dealing with this with my twin brother. It hurts so much. I love him but can't stand him as a person. He has every horrible narc trait. Sadly, no contact is the only option.
My son is and I’ve taken 20 years to figure him out - he did everything- gaslighting, blaming by the dumpster load, projecting his crap onto me, sprewing verbal diarrhea on me then saying I’m too sensitive and emotional to be around. As I was figuring him out & becoming aware I was calling him in his bullying & cruelty- he said I needed to be punished and cut me off seeing my grandson- was no surprise- he wasn’t letting me do anything grandparents do anyways. He was so terribly verbally abusive I had no choice but the cut him off & go no contact. I had cognitive dissonance the last few months but Not anymore! He’s a deeply disturbed mean controlling person & did it knowingly deliberately. I’m devastated my only son is a narcissist, feel the deepest lost 😞, he was a beautiful child, hasn’t been that for 20 years sadly.
My daughter was with a narcissistic man. She's dead now. He drove her to her death. This is very, very serious
The sunflower 🌻 example was well worded.
Yes, the "Sunflower" resonates.❤️
Growing up with a narcissistic mother who in turn raised my brother to be a narcissist I grew up in that household and I didn’t even know how lost how broken how unprepared for the world I was. No contact!! Once I finally realized it I was done! Now to get my sister out of the cycle it’s starting to affect her health.
I carefully concealed my preparations to run away from home as a teenager and, when I had somewhere to live, I took the first opportunity I had to grab my suitcase and go. I have never regretted it and I know my narcissist father never got over it. I had convinced him that I was too depressed to reach escape velocity and all that time I was just waiting for a launch window.
My ex liked to love bomb me, devalue me, discard me completely, and then start the cycle over again. The last time she left and said "we can revisit this is a couple months when life slows down" I said "That doesn't seem like a healthy relationship. If you don't want me you don't want me, thanks though". That was when her mask really fell off
👍👍👍
Yeah sounds like everything revolved around her. Also sounds a lot like my ex bf. Good on you for seeing through the Bs. Bravo 👏👌
@@itsinriotsjhinetics7 Thanks, friend!
She sounds a lot like my ex…these people! 😩
Now that's how it's done 😊
Also was looking at photos of my dad last night. You’d NEVER know how cruel he is. Even at 80 he’s handsome and lives in a big house with his narcissistic wife. From the outside they look like great people. Scary honestly.
Same for me! My father is 89 and a "good 'ol boy" that walks on water! The church has been a great place for him to hide all these years. 😉
To outsiders these narcs look like they are on top of the world.
@@msjannd4I quit attending church because of narcs. I am not interested in dealing with them.
The loss of self-esteem and self-confidence due to narc abuse is so deep that one could be fully aware that their loved one is a narcissist and still be completely flabbergasted and in complete shock and in deep emotional pain when they are abandoned suddenly by them. I always knew my narcissist could suddenly abandon me if I dared challenge him but we never believe it would happen to us and we think we can talk them out of it. Nope. Mine suddenly abandoned our friendship of 15 years because I finally stood up to him. I admit, having all of that emotion build up in me and then finally releasing it all and then being unable to express it to him because he completely ignored me callously is one of the most devastating and conflicting things a victim of this abuse can go through. It's like you finally have courage and power but it all fizzles away because you no longer even exist and you can't believe they were actually capable of disposing of you like yesterday's newspaper because you could never do the same to them, even as they abuse you without mercy. Those 15 years meant something to me and it's never a nice feeling knowing it meant absolutely NOTHING to them.
Sharing your personal experiences with us is always extremely reassuring, Danish. It takes deep understanding , great perseverance and resilience for you to maintain such a high level of professionalis and to perform so consistently well as an effective therapist. We greatly appreciate you! ❤
thank you
I wonder if Narcissism is common in upper caste families in India just as it is common in other wealthy families in the Western Nations...
I had a narcissist mother for many years till I moved out when I was almost 30 yrs took everything n anything from me maded me feel less than nothing turned everyone against me than yrs later when with some one who was one didn't even see it either up until 3 yrs ago had no clue what a narcissist was till my very brother told me to read about it your with one how true it was I can honestly say he took almost 17 yrs of my life from me never did nothing for me gave me nothing took me no where treated me like I was his slave I when I finally left him 4 months later telling me if we can get back together he will straighten out the wrong I did can't belive he said and belive it to but I was smart I had them on block never returned his calls months later went by he started stalking me outside my job for 2 years I could not believe it I was going to go to the police department but I said you know what I'm going to pretend I don't know who he is what he is or where he came from cuz he's nothing he's nobody and he never was and that's the way I made him feel he didn't know how to act he would be right in front of the bus stop staring at me smiling and laughing I wouldn't even look at him I was waiting for him to do something cuz I had speed dial for the police waiting for him and I had my brother on the other line this went on for two years you left me alone for about a year then you started texting again a being with a person like that made me feel good about myself finally and nobody and nothing will take advantage of me again because I love myself my life my friends and the people that are in my life and save me from this animal they must say it's hard to find wrong and someone that you once cared about I never loved him I cared thank God I never loved him because he would have destroyed me I seen bad things about him that's why it was hard for me to love someone like him I felt sorry for him more than I did anything else but feeling sorry for somebody put you in a bad situation never feel sorry for someone cuz when you let you go down that take over your whole life and destroy you I finally said it and thanks for listening Sheila
I just found out about this channel. And subscribed. Thanks for sharing!! ❤
@@fortybelow1973 Welcome!
I’m upvoting everyone’s comments whether I get to read them or not. We are in this together. You are not alone and We are survivors! 💪🏽 ❤💕❤ 💝 ⬆️ ⬆️⬆️⬆️🌻
Thanks for your comment Fairly recently I came across channels that dealt with nacissistic families and it was finally sent home to me answers to questions about my life. I was no angel growing up but always devoted to my family. The issue that I think will always be a problem is self doubt like I can still hear my mothers voice giving me a whole list of my failures as a reason i should not attempt something in life. I was able to escape this prison and find a wonderful wife. We have shared a good life together for 34 yrs. raising adaughter and son. I think on so many things hurtful and nonsensical, embarrassing and just plain evil and I wonder at myself that I couldn't have figured this out a lot sooner but as they say "better late then never" Good luck to you undercoverbird I will keep all of you in my prayers!
Good call❣👍👍👍
I'm really glad my uncle said that I was a survivor to my brother who then told me.
Periodt..
Yes, we are!!!
ESSENTIAL video for me! ... My narcissist: "You'll wither and die without me - leaving me is like cutting off your own oxygen supply. Don't take my word for it, I'll discard you into the wilderness alone, and you will see for yourself the truth I just told you"!
Danish I'm so sorry you had to go through that with Narcissus. My father was a severe narcissist he was a military man he used to whip the belt out of his pants and he used to fold it over and make cracking noises and he chased me and my sister around the house and beat the shit out of us it was horrificator then all I knew was being abused and I ended up marrying a man for 36 years to verbally abused me and I believed every word he said he ended up being a raging alcoholic a raging Percocet narcotic Seeker and he wouldn't work he only work the first five years of our marriage but we had two beautiful children together I worked 2 to 3 jobs all my life and all I was was a paycheck to him didn't even have the strength to divorce him he divorced me to go chase after another little gal I've been divorced for 12 years now I'm just now learning to be happy and learning about self-love you seem like a wonderful wonderful man thank you for all your work
Sorry you went through all that. It happens like that sometimes because parents abuse kids they go out in the world and may likely submit to certain characters and regard their treatment as love as they have got that all their lives. Hopefully one day we will seek to change the world by rescuing our children
I hope the rest of your life epitomizes joy, peace and self-love. Take care. Be well. 🌹🌺
@@denisegladden-peters4435 thank you so much for your caring of me and needs more than me than you can ever
@@This_Planet thank you so much for your comment about me and needs more to me than you will ever know it's nice to know that at least one fucking person out the goddamn Universe understands you and sympathizes and I appreciate you so fucking much thank you
Take courage now that you can learn to be free. I have learned that I must detoxify from all that poison.....We are all here working on that. Coming to an understanding that you were not the cause of all that crap comes first in the healing. Danish helps a lot in that understanding.
You are an absolute credit to your self, despite it all, you have Risen like The Phoenix, well done😊🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much.
I'm so sorry that you're having to go through that. I understand, I've had to cut off all contact with my narc mother/sister duo, as well as all of my relatives on that side, because she spoke so terribly about me as well. I was the scapegoat who was always respectful and a good kid, but my sister who was having sex and doing drugs and yelled at my parents was considered the golden child by my mom.
Don't be fooled, the "golden child" sold their soul to the narcissistic parent which is no prize leaving them without knowing who they are hiding behind the facade to get the love of the Narcissist....
My brother and mother! I have two uncles I still talk to on that side, a couple cousins and my niece. Otherwise, I just stopped engaging with the rest. No more family functions and I’m not scared of blatantly refusing invites even if it may be perceived as rude.
It was actually a blessing to me when I realized my mother has been sh*t talking me to them my whole life…at least to the other narcissists. I didn’t understand the venomous hate (especially from the aunts) and would try so hard to prove to everyone that I wasn’t a terrible person. I didn’t understand what I ever did to them so would always try to engage and attend everything.
Then I realized what was going on and that they were going to hate me no matter what I did. So, I figured, why even try anymore? It not only freed me from the unwanted obligations but also the worry about appeasing my family. The best part was that it took even MORE power away from the narcissist because she can no longer control me through them. What a blessings! The knowledge has changed and saved my life! 🙏
I could have written this
@@supernova11711I get it! For me it was my father. The dumbest sack of s**t I've ever known in my life.
My sister was my moms golden child. My brother was the family’s golden child. I was the scapegoat.
I only just this month figured out that my narc mother has been turning my children against me ever since I went no-contact with her 7 years ago. She has fully succeeded and not only won't they talk to me but they believe the most ridiculous things that could be disproven by a moment's thought about what has actually taken place in our lives. They don't have to take my word for any of it (and I don't ask them to - I've always explicitly taught them to decide things based on reality and not what anyone says, including me).
A blatant example of a narc not being able to accept a change, nor to introspect about it.
It’s very clear God had a plan for sir. Growing up w/ narcissists made me feel like I was always holding my breath. After listening to you, I finally feel like I can exhale. It’s an amazing feeling. TY! 🙏 ❤
Holding my breath... that's so literally true.. ❤
Yes. I would have been the child who told the emperor he had no clothes.
thank you! Yes I had narcissistic parents. It really is a travesty.
You have described the 4 situations perfectly. The entire situation is so sad, from the objects of narcissistic supply to the narcs themselves. Once on the outside, one can see it for what it is, an unnecessary world of make-believe.
Unnecessary world of make believe..... perfect
I find it crazy how a narcissistic person comes into your life, you challenge or question them about their wrongdoings, and then they suddenly turn on you. It's like they have a delusional "lens" they see the world through ( interpreting everything with false negative beliefs ), and they believe it to be real. So until you come along and challenge these delusions, they fester and keep growing. So instead of owning up to anything or having accountability / responsibility, they paint you as the "villain" and run away.
And what’s worse are the people who take their side and help them punish u….and they see the issue! So wtf?
7:27 they have lost something so precious and rare. Yes that is what victims are. They may not feel it but they are so precious. That is why the narcissist tries so hard to get their victims under control again. I am so glad you brought this up. The value of the victim is a crucial piece.
Exactly. It's their jealousy and wanting to 'rob' the victim of the good in them that has to convince all of us that we definitely ARE of worth and value - or they wouldn't be bothering!
It’s hard being the scapegoat. Lots of energy ignoring and not responding to snide hurtful comments.
Yeah. This is why many people go no contact, because being the scapegoat who balances out a dysfunctional family by living in that role,is the sole reason that they want you around, because they benefit from it. The last thing they want is for the scapegoat to catch on, or Heaven forbid- you are able to get past and fix all the things you are criticized for. If you succeed in life in spite of them, they just can't stand it. Then they either clamp down on you to reinforce the role, or close ranks and reject you. They dangle the carrot of maybe being willing to change a few things here and there, but it never lasts. Because the family system is toxic, and it feeds their need for drama. The best thing one can do is leave them, go away to heal, and then find good friends,to replace that crappy family with.😊
Thank you so much for clearly stating what I could not put into words. It’s astonishing how the narcissist can take any situation and blame someone else rather than reflecting on what they said or did, because they are always the victim. I finally reached my breaking point with my Mom and exploded on her, told her off and gave example after example of how she had used me, lied about me to others, lied to me and all she could do was pretend to cry. I noticed not a tear was coming from her eyes and told her to stop pretending she was hurt, then she instantly changed, gritted her teeth and glared at me. Then I told her, well now I see the real you coming through, no heart, no soul, only empty inside. She never had control over me after that, she passed away a few years ago, alone and without a friend in the world. I have been able to restore my relationship with my only sibling since her passing, because we finally began to talk about the trauma and abuse we shared at our Mother’s controlling and manipulating ways. We have both forgiven each other for believing the lies our Mother told us and we continue to grow closer and spend time together. We are in our 60’s now and I don’t know how many years we have left but I’m thankful everyday for our relationship, we love and support one another and it’s truly a miracle we came together again.
A great victory! Thanks for sharing it with other victims of this very sick, manipulative and sadistic condition. It seems to me it's sourced in their JEALOUSY of everyone who is 'normal' in life, who has inner strength and something of true value which they can only 'covet and lust after'. They must really believe it somehow can be transferred to their dark, empty souls!
You are right about narcissists not getting over .... My ex-husband after 40 years still talks about me to my son - asks him if I ever ask about him. No, I don't. I don't care, and he will never get over it. If it wasn't so sick, I'd take pleasure in it.
I was contacted by the x narc after 40+ years. He sent a narcissistic message. I told him I reported him, blocked him and if he ever contacts me, I will call police.
The narcissist sees us as an entirely different person when we are not complying.They'll speak to us about the other person they believe we sometimes are as if it's somebody else. It can cause dissociation.
Yes. Not many notice/mention this part but true. They build a perfect/'good" image of you in their head and compare actions and speak to you as if that is who you are/should be in real life. I was like am I living with a crazy person who does he think I am?
@@5pointview717 They talk about the "other you" and say "Where's the person who...?" Or "I miss that person I met." It's very confusing! Parents and partners do this often.
@@rinda33x Yes, mine imagined he knew what I liked/disliked eating based on me just glancing at some food or reading the label instead of directly asking me to confirm if I do/don't like it then during a 'convo' saying something like 'I know you like this food so I bought it/how come you not eating it' if I say I don't want to eat it or ask why he bought it.
@@5pointview717My narc mother does this. She bought me gummy bears once because she said she remembered I liked them as a little girl and then got mad when I didn’t eat them.… I guess she thought in some bizarre way that eating them would revert me back to the “old me” she wishes I’d go back to 🥴😂 (been grey rocking for over a year).
My narc father idealizes also my childhood self. (Basically the me he could control/dominate and bulldoze constantly without consequences). Telling me all the time he can’t wait for me to “come back.” 🙄
I’m glad that I can finally see them both so clearly now for who they truly are, but it’s very disturbing (and heartbreaking) because it is NOT a pretty sight! 🤢🚮
You should not forget, however, that the narcissist is not always a pretender.They may not have your best interest at heart, but more often than not, their grandiose self and their ambition has taken them to big wins in life. Not every narcissist is lazy. And as they are not bothered with self-doubt, they can easily overcome obstacels that makes it hard for a normal person to succeed. Therefore, even persons outside the family find it hard to understand, why a child turns his back on the narcissist. After all, from the outside the narcissist does care- though not about the child - but about the public image of their family. After all, it's supposed to be a reflection of themselves.
Narcissists are always lying, cheating, stealing and projecting blame onto their scapegoats. They are always leading parasitic lifestyle. There is no "success". In the end they all self-destruct. By definition.
Damn, this hit hard.
In my experience, independence came with three simultaneous factors: relentless vicious abuse (particularly character attacks and degradation), demands for unconditional submission (with open dictates that I am property they own and open insistence that I do not have have basic human rights), and endless howling about being the victim.
I was told my life is not mine but belongs to them, that they always come first above my wife and that her and my relationship belongs to them, that whatever I want automatically doesn't matter, that my doctorate is really his and I was just the vehicle for it, and that nobody could ever stand to be around me, among many others. The thing that always amazed me the most was the lack of any grasp of the causal relationship between being hit, hounded and screamed at with abuse and choosing to not be around them.
This testifies to how very sick narcissist are, and how they can so easily destroy the lives of others. TO BE AVOIDED AT ANY COST!
I left my narc husband after 25 years of marriage. I have 3 daughters, one was already flatting. My eldest daughter is a narciccist. They have completely cut me out of their lives and the lives of my grandchildren. Currently he's very ill from years of alcohol abuse. Afrer 7 years of no contact he called me and asked me if I wanted to marry him again, told me he's always loved me and always will. They never give up. Their narciccism is their engine.
My narc brother freaked when i told him he was a narcissist. He quit speaking to me. No great loss there because it was So tiring trying to have Any conversation with him. It was always all about Him, his constant lying, and I was ready to let him go. My calling him out on his narcissm did it. 😊
I resonated with them all, because I did them all to a narcissist. Thank you!
Yes, their grandiosity is their Hallmark... Their rages too.
I am 56 years old and about 20 I realized my narcissist mother was making me physically ill. I had headaches for a long time then made a connection with when I would talk to her on the phone or deal with her in person. I realized she was making me physically sick. That's when I slowly started controlling how and when we had contact and setting boundaries. She recognized immediately that things had changed which goes to show how much control they have over every aspect of your life that you don't even realize they have. It didn't go over well and she would guilt me and complain about how neglectful I was to my own mother. Yes the same mother that was supposed to be a protector to her child and not selfishly cause her stress or sadness. But there we were. And I realized when I tried to go back to being my old self it would be the same pattern repeated. Everything would be good for a minute then some inevitable conflict would arise. Some issue she would start. Something that would turn into an argument. I realized the way I was trying to be was the right path. Going low contact was my salvation. It lessened my stress and me feeling ill just thinking about her or just at the prospect of talking to her was lessoned. Back then I didn't know about narcissism. There weren't videos online and it wasn't the Hot topic that it is now. I only learned about the narcissistic aspect of my relationship with her about 3 years ago. Things became even clearer. Knowledge is power. You must create boundaries on your terms and do whatever you need to do to help yourself emotionally and physically. You will back slide and fall into old patterns because who doesn't want to love their mother and give in hoping things will be different. But they won't. You will learn to trust yourself and respect and love yourself first. And you will be calm and peaceful about it. You will learn to not go back and forth with them. You will learn the power of ignoring them. You will learn the power of silence. Your heart mind and soul will feel difference. It is worth it.
Holidays always made me sick. I could not stand being with family.
Thank you Danish for all you do. I have been dealing with several narcissists and the one thing that works is educating ourselves on what narcissism is.
@@jbrown2908 if that is possible, yes definitely!
I found these videos because I thought I was a narcissist. 6 weeks into education on narcissism I discovered that all the parts of my life that I just could not understand are the direct effects of being raised by a narcissist, wow! I never knew I wasn't the one that ruined everyone's life including my own hypothetically. I now know for sure that who I am is not who I want to be I am a product of what I was told to be. Down two simple stuff like I don't like blue I like purple and pink and orange. I'm 42 years old. I have forgiven myself. I realize that it is not my mother's fault she does not know she's a narcissist. I'm so excited to say there is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with my feelings my expression of my feelings or my thought process. I'm so excited I can't stop saying that I'm nothing like that in my family and it's okay. It is perfectly fine. I actually like the fact that nothing in my house matches and I make the best spaghetti if no one else think so there will be more for me later. If that ever becomes a problem I can find people that like my spaghetti.. cause it's good 👍 prayers for my mother please, for me as well but God walks with me every day I know there's a higher power I just want everyone to have faith. And I would like to pray for my mother because I'm a really great person and I don't want her to go her whole life and not know me. I would like to be her friend.
Definitely experienced all of these with the too many narcissists. Especially the financial control and character assassination when walking away from their control. The longer I'm away from it the easier it has become to identify other narcissists and protect myself from damage. Thank you so much Danish for utilizing your experiences to benefit the healing journey for others.
I found that many people tend to find the narcs lies more convincing than my truth. I am watching him slowly disintegrating as he ages so it's not all bad news!
God bless you. I too have a narcissistic mother. I also married a narcissist before I healed my part in the dynamic. It is a painful awakening. I feel for you and all others who share this experience with us. My mother once asked me, “What happened to my rainbow child?”-the equivalent of the sunshine child you mentioned. I miss a mother I never really had and the nuclear family I once dreamt of co-creating. I have peace and love, now, but not without first painfully shedding a false life. Thank you for your choice to turn your pain into service. You validate so many suffering at the hands of narcissists.
A covert and overt miserably married to each other for 45 years. I cannot believe it took me into my 30s to see my parents for who they are, and now I'm trying to be aware enough so I don't poison my own children's self-esteem. I see similar behaviors and I hate myself for treating my kids like this.
It’s interesting that you so perfectly described the Narc I’m associated with!
I am glad I was able to help
Thank you, Danish. Your method of describing and delivering the material is almost poetic. Many times I have heard exactly the words you use coming out of the narcs mouth! This, and your shared experiences with us, is so validating because for a long time I thought it was just me, just my family. Now I know there is a world filled with people experiencing the same things as me.❤️
Well done Danish Bashir, not only for overcoming your own difficulties dealing with narcissists in your family but in turning that knowledge to help others. Thank You 🙏 ❤
I had a narcissistic father too, but I escaped, and lived my life. There is and was a scar though, that will never heal. But hey, I love my life. Thanks for a great report! Marianne from Belgium.
My mom has always said that if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be where I am today. I struggle with illness due to the stress I've had to deal with. Watching your videos help, know that I'm not alone.
You are not alone and you got where you are in life most likely because of hard work. But perhaps at some point, when you are able and ready, you can get away from your mother for your own health and sanity. It is a tough decision, but will change your life if indeed your mother really is a narcissist. Try to "grey rock" her at the very least; by this I mean give no emotional feedback whatsoever, not positive or negative. Just be dull and boring, like a grey rock. Barely communicate with her and only when necessary. Give short, uninteresting answers and do not divulge any personal info. Look up grey rocking and you will understand it, if I have not explained it well. Hopefully she will be uninterested in you and move along to another "target". I am so very sorry your own mother is making you ill; time to look out for you and leave your mother by the wayside, in the dust. You got this!!!!
You are not alone. It's awful that someone else's behavior can bring people to their breaking point. Break and keep moving forward
Sadly I understand this , I’ve said for years that I grew up @ “dysfunction junction”😢
My mother is a narcissist, topped off w BPD borderline personality disorder.
My father is a full blown narcissist.
My X GF is also a full blown narcissist.
NC w my parents 6 years TOMORROW!
2 months NC w my X we broke up 7 months ago after a friend discovered her bio on Tinder, of course she’d been accusing me of cheating for months.
I’ve had enough.
Se la vie!
🤮
Trooper Todd!!! You must be a super strong person by now! God Bless You. 😊🙏🏼🤍🕊⚖️
So important, #2. Losing control over you AND not being able to use you again! This is why when you know and go NO Contact, they will hoover, love bomb, and stalk you for years. They desperately want your supply back, not you, but your supply.stay strong.
You rock!
Congratulations on the NC!! Freedom is worth any price we pay for it, because it's priceless!!🎉
Just make sure you have learned from your experiences, you don’t go down that path again.
You as a person, deserve better. Be on the look out in relationships for the key signals you have another narc in your midst. Sadly we can all too easily fall into the same pattern, you wouldn’t be the first, because it is what we feel comfortable with.
You are literally explaining my relationship with my son's father... its exhausting and almost completely over ❤
#2. I see a narcissist who has lost control of her adult independent child, trying frantically to control me and others in her vicinity.
Again, what you say rings so true with my own experience. My mother actually (in a singular and unexpected split second of honesty), admitted that the reason she disowned me, was because she felt she was losing power over me.
So, she went for the one thing I don't give a shit about. Her money, wealth and the potential inheritance.
Secondly, every time I disagreed with her, she took it personally in an intense way, accusing me of saying that she was "stupid", simply because I did not share her dysfunctional worldview.
Great comment! You have helped me understand my brother. He does not like me because I am the opposite of his dysfunctional way of thinking. He has disliked me since childhood and it never made sense until I read your comment. So freeing!!!!!!❤
I can relate to all 4. It boggles the mind how everything in his life that is not how he thinks it should be is my fault. And the level of depravity is scary. He will say some unimaginable Comment and then sit there with a smirk on his face while he then goes into applying the silent treatment. But relishes in the pain he has caused.
ALL FACTS 👌
🙂
All the knowledge and wisdom I'm getting on this topic makes me realize that internally everyone has deep seated issues within or that needs to be addressed. When I see this about people and raise this issue that something is wrong with their behaviour it causes narcissist injury to their EGO and Pride self and there are grudges are held against us! Understanding human behaviour is a big thing for me right now! 😊🙏.
So glad you broke free Danish, I have a narc father and we're estranged, my mom was driven to alcohol to cope and this eventually led to her death.. We are breaking generational curses 🌟💜
Omg. I'm so sorry you went through that, Danish! I'm so glad that you have been so successful and thrived after getting away from that! 🖤
Thanks a lot for yours kind words. It wasn’t easy. It never is when dealing with narcissists.
@@narcabusecoach I'm sure it wasn't. It's a wonderful thing you're doing for all of us out here, sharing your experience and knowledge about narcissists and narc abuse.
It's definitely never easy dealing with them. It's because of channels like yours that we can learn and understand, and realize that it is possible to get away from such abuse.
Thank you for what you do for us!
in my experience i can add, that strategically, a narcissist may wish to project an image of sensitivity, emotional vulnerability and victimization, since that may be useful as an appeal to larger numbers of people, as well as individuals.
My heart ❤ goes out for you Danish and all the suffering you had to go through. I have suffered due to a narcissistic husband who used to strangle/ choke me and I had enough of all the mental and physical abuse I called the police and ended up in a women’s shelter (before the police came he threatened me and said he if I leave him he would do ANYTHING to take my son away from me. It was then four horrific yrs , he lied, lied and broke court orders and claimed he was a victim of mental abuse, everything he told them was a mirroring of what I told the authorities but he somehow replaced it with him. Til this day I have not seen my son for 13,5 yrs (my son is now 16). It has been VERY painful and I will never erase this nor forget this until the day I take my last breath. Losing my son was the most heartbreaking ever and I will never get over it that they believed his lies, it is like being abused a second time. Pls danish talk more about children growing up with narcissists. I am afraid my son will become like him with this mental illness. His mother and sister were enabling his bad behaviours and his mother used to be very controlling and when I called for help and talk to her husband (he would beat the shit out of my husband) but she hang up the phone (that was painful and is like being abused a second time by a WOMAN, his mother).
My X narcissist had picked out my special needs child as the golden child and the other 2 were just abused by the X spouse just like I was abused and my special needs child now an adult is just like the narcissist X and now that 1 child is exactly like the X and my other 2 are more like me and have empathy how does that happen ? All of my children are adults now and can remember the narcissist picking the special needs child as the golden child. I have always loved all of my children unconditionally and even had to explain what unconditional love is and the 1 that was the golden child to the X now says they hate the X spouse but acts just like the narcissist step parent 💔 and the other 2 are reminding me that we were all abused and 2 want therapy but the special needs child/adult child now feels discarded in the X narcissist and is full of hate 💔 I've tried to find a way to help all my adult children anyway I can but I am done wrong by the special needs adult child 💔 and don't want the same treatment from the adult child that is just like the X spouse but I don't know how to get that adult child help 💔 I really love all 3 unconditionally and I'm at a loss for what to do to help 💔 any advice would help me and the 3 adult children. I didn't know what the X was doing when it was being done and really didn't know they were seeing me be abused every way possible. I stood up for all 3 of them and didn't know how to stand up for myself . So confused.
@@FollowingJesus320😢
My x did this to my children. I did not see my daughter for 20 years, my son for over 30. They now have no contact with their dad. I was finally able to tell my side of the story.
I've never seen an adult look so lost and terrified the day I walked out on them.
#1 - Now I understand why my malignantly narcissistic, histrionic mother hated me from infancy. I failed to fix her miserable marriage by being born (7 YEARS into the marriage), and instead my existence exposed her loveless marriage as an impotent fantasy.
I've been the "truth-teller", ever since. Now that I understand that significant role, I'm going to enjoy watching narcissists smash themselves to pieces against the rocks of my contact with reality...😈
I just found out that when I was born, my
Mom’s mother died. She was unable to attend her funeral because I was newborn. She resented me. Funerals are a big deal to her.
@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql I'm sorry that happened to you. Did she ever move past the resentment?
You hit so many issues on the head. Thank you! I was blessed to have a self sacrificing mother. She urged me to get out on my own and follow my dreams and get out of the control of my father. I raised my 3 adult children to also pick their lives' work and also follow their dreams. I thank my mom for that. I have the best relationship with them Roddy. I'm honored to be invited into their world and I don't push. Mutual respect
Thank you Danish, you are a breath of fresh air as well as wisdom and compassion for empaths and survivors of this abuse ❤
You hit the nail on the head with this video. Every word you said went right the to core of my experience with my ex husband of 17 years. After 17 years, all of the above occured after finally getting the courage to report his abuse and threats to take my life in front of our children. He was arrested and didn't return home. His response? Turned my older son against me and coached him to become abusive towards me verbally and physically. My son assaulted me. Then he plotted revenge using my son as leverage to concoct a story to the police, had me arrested based on lies all to use this to gain custody of our youngest son and try to convince the courts i was he crazy one. He always threatened he would take the boys away from me and wished me homeless or dead. I always knew he had an inflated sense of self importance and it felt as though the world revolved around his needs only. The word narcissist only came up after all this happened and I previously believed he was either bipolar or had some serious mood problems. I felt sorry for him and tried to help him. He even made contact with everyone who knew me spreading bs about me in order to convince them to write him letters to support him in court. I don't know how I can begin to heal from the trauma he caused me and my sons. I haven't seen my eldest son in two years after he lied to the police and told them i burned and assaulted him. He was using my son and the system to do me harm and i was left with no choice but to kick him out of the house to live with his father. The pain of losing my son is so great i can't begin to describe it as i don't know what the future holds for us. All i can do is pray. Thank you, your vidoes are a great educational resource to so many people suffering with this never ending turmoil.
Thank you 🙏🏿 this was so clear I now know what the road is going to be like ahead and I need to protect my energy @ all cost because he’s gonna try to drag me thru the mud to protect his character
I resonate with all you have said, and have done so for a long time, but I know what I am dealing with and find it quite intriguing how narcissistic personalities can be so vein and prepared to quietly use others and a variety of ways to destroy the person who does not submit into massaging their need to be ‘the superior, and only right human being’.
I tend to see it as ‘fur coat, no knickers’ lots on show to gain praise, but put to the test there is no love, care, empathy, respect at all for others, no matter what status they have in their daily lives.
Sad thing is one day, they will be found out and won’t be able to handle it.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so sorry for what you went through. I know first hand what this is like. My mother is a narcissist. When I finally had enough and went no contact, she and then my father decided to begin the smear contact to virtually everyone I knew. It was pretty unbearable. So hard to move forward.
Wow! Its like listening to my life with my Father and Sister, Both narcissists, I had no idea what was wrong with them until i recently discovered discussions around narcissistic behavior in family members and people you are generally in proximity to. Im relieved to finally know what the problem is but distraught at the daunting task of removing a person I love from my life. My sister has been trying to destroy my life for years now, and now I know why!
Living with the narcissist isn't easy. Somehow, I managed to handle him, but not when we just got married. I didn't know he's a narcissist. As days, months, and years went by, I figured out something is wrong. Well, it's definitely something that is not right about him. I went to the web and consulted a doctor. They told me he's probably a narcissist. Bingo! They were right. I searched the web on how to handle him. I did exactly what they told me. Today, he can't throw me those crazy supplies of him again. I became smarter to corner him. I won't allow him even one bit. I exposed him to the people I knew in front of him. Of course, he doesn't like it, but I have to be relentless. Otherwise, he will continue that disgusting attitude. I warned him either he shape up or ship out.
You gotta leave him
Can you pls elaborate.. how did you do that??
That’s not narcism. Because you can’t control a true narcissist.
@@luzoo3540for a short time, you can ...if they're losing their main supply and homeostasis. They'll fake for a year or two a serve you, but you can't let your guards down for a second.
No shaping up without any accountability and God and Therapy for him. You're best to get out and definitely don't have children with him/her etc.
Amazing how many people's narcissists are their parents. I I'm 56 years old and just discovered over the past 5 years or so that mine is my mother. Then within the past year discovered my father is one also. 😅🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ Congratulations to those on the healing journey. Knowledge is power. It is an amazingly emancipating feeling when you learn who they are and how to act accordingly.
Thank you for making me realize I’m not crazy.
She has turned everyone against me and ruined my life.
You and others like you give me hope.
I wish I could join your podcast and help others like you have with me.
Again.. thank you very much
Danish, I feel for you coming from a family this way. I was attached to a family this way for 7 years. I was mearly confused, always trying to equal or impress, however I was always talked about and shunned, even by him. You see, his mother left his family 3 times for someone new. He was abandoned and therefore made himself impentrable by others. BY others I mean me. The brick wall was absolutly impenatable due to his ex wife of 19 years and by his mother. He never let me in and yet I blamed myself. When questioned I was stonewalled. I was talking to a brickwall. He never apoligized and was not comforting when I cried. Thank you for posting these as they've helped tremendously!! As I have a hard time seeking help.
Thank you for sharing and becoming a specialist to help others. I appreciate you. ❤️ I have found a similar person to help me with my triggers, the constant hate there was felt for me, that feeling stemming from my narcissistic mother, and I’m on the road to healing, since 2016. I have come a long way, but still have a long way to go, and I’m not stopping. Thank you so much, for helping others. I spent 34 years of my life, not knowing what was happening, knew something was off about my mom, but couldn’t figure it out. “Married my mother”, my now ex-husband is a narcissist too. I keep saying, I wish I went to counseling sooner, but I also feel things happen for a reason and at the time they are meant to. Thank you for helping to heal. I’m sorry you have two narcissistic parents, I’m sorry for what you have gone through. But thank you for rising above, healing, and for helping others. ❤️🙏
I feel this so deeply and as painful as it is to be a survivor of narcissistic abuse. It's saddens me. Actually I want to know why I feel sad still about it because regardless they're still people that we love and care about. I don't know. I just I just feel it in my gut. It just makes you don't cry. I don't ever want anybody feel like that no matter what. Thank you so much for all the information that you share. It's definitely helpful and you are blessing.
I’m dealing with my narcissistic sister. Our parents are both now gone (within the last 2 1/2 years)and she was daddy’s little princess.
Dad was a narcissist as well. Growing up, Dad would insult me on everything I was good at; dancing, writing and playing a musical instrument. Now I understand that he was not able to control my choices, nor me!
Thank you!
Narcs are JEALOUS of people who have anything they don't. That's part of the reasons they hate and try to destroy others.
This video has helped me understand a large part of my past experiences.
# 3 was something i hadn't connected before, and it makes sense now. And I have seen # 4 happen time and again.
As i continue to heal from my past, i am becoming less reactive or defensive and more calm when faced with confrontation. It's not about me. Their actions and reactions are all self-centered and sometimes self-sabotaging. I'll keep working on improving my own mental health, and hope that they will recognize that they too need to heal, process those uncomfortable emotions, get over it, and let it go.
My grey-rock letters to n-mom (and my brothers who still live there) have slowed down considerably and never include the greeting, "Dear Mom" or end with "Love"... I simply can't write these things, because they would be a lie...she has noticed this and has remarked at how much she feels unloved. Ironically, your video came up today and addressed that very issue...the timing is perfection...thank you!
I'm so glad I stumbled onto you, Danish! My malignant narcissist next door neighbor built an outdoor commercial shooting range right on my property line. After a year of forcing us inside when they fired hundreds of rounds of semi-automatic weapon fire, one of their instructors fired a pistol behind my back, injuring my hearing. So I sued my neighbor. At the first hearing in the case, I used the phrase "pattern of unlawful behavior" referring to her actions right in front of her to the judge. You would have thought I had kicked her dog. She was LIVID for the rest of the hearing and all the way out the door.
I'm the scapegoat so when I cut all communications with my Narc Mother..
She went ape shit!!! Couldn't contain her anger which she involved my Grandmother who is her Mom to try and convince me to reach out to her and reconnect along with her calling my BOSS and asking her to tell me to call.
Her being disconnected from her punching bag left her unhinged. I never looked back which saved my life.
These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL! Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. because they feel this..
your soul can't be ''stolen'', what narcissistic people do is they feed on your energy.
I told my parents they've ruined my life. Their reaction? No mistakes admitting, no accepting my reality. My father said instead: "WE are above-average parents!". And then proceeded to explain that they are above average parents because they don't drink and hit me. Wow. I don't know how that didn't sound to them as below-average parenting. Being drunk being the extreme bad. While I was doubting my perception of reality back then, that reaction of my father made me sure that THEY are not ok, not me. My father also saw the fact that I got into a prestigious university as his doing and as the proof that he is a great parent. He never helped me learn or teach me anything. His only contribution to this was the fact that he told us, his children, that we HAVE TO get a college degree. Either in medicine or programming. Or else we die homeless. Anyway, I didn't manage to get the degree. The subjects were too hard, I had no friends, no support, I was struggling with money and rentals to stay because I decided not to live with parents at that time. I just don't have the mental strength to fight to the last breath for the college degree. So, now I'm here. I'm in no contact with my family. I have a low income. But I feel much better, money aside.
I'm proud of you because you fight for yourself and go no contact. You did a great job 👍👍💯I know it's very hard and I'm still stuck here , when you doubt remember with a narsists you can't take a single breath in peace.
Poor u 😅😅😊
My family is wealthy, that’s their only contribution is LOTS on “nice stuff”..🤮
No love, no affection, no attention.
Just expensive “stuff” I have no interest in.
✌️
I hope you find your way to happyness, inspite of everything. A hug from someone who also had similar experiences. Some times these difficult paths, lead to meaningful results. A hug from me to you. Breath, prosper and find your path.
Thank you Danish for opening up ❤ Generally lotsa families bully especially regarding their Finances..children feel indebted and say.."lets not Rock and he Boat"think of your inheritance 😢Controlling..Manipulative..i say run..leave..go abroad if you can get your life back..you will surely be released of resentment n guilt..🌅
This was absolutely brilliant every word sentence was 100pcnt correct well done to you learning the truth of mental disorder of the narcissist when your still so young …we unfortunately didn’t have access of the knowledge ie internet .and such a shame but better late than ever it’s similar to doctors diagnosis after yrs being told it’s all in your mind …🙏🌟
Amazing insights into narcissism. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and her enabling husband. I was the youngest of 3 brothers. My sister, who was 4 years behind me, was largely ignored by my mother, who went on searching for her narcissistic power outside of the family. She founded a church, and was called a "saint" by the pastor of 25 years at her memorial service. She was the opposite - the devil incarnate. I am INFJ, an empath, and susceptible to narcissistic abuse. But, let's face it, we all were. No one gets home free after a narcissist upbringing. When I come in contact with a narcissist, they immediately sense my empathy and begin to use it. They are always terribly disappointed when I recognize them and call them out. My girlfriend asks why I bother to call them out. I guess I just hate narcissists and would like them to disappear from the world.
I just wonder that you call yourself an empath while at the same time you say you hate Narcissists and want them to disappear from this world. And even calling your sister a devil? This does not fit into my understanding of an empath, who in my eyes is compassionate and tender hearted, intuitive, willing to understand, helpful... I myself was raised up by a Narcissistic mother and I know what a huge impact it has on your health, but I do not hate Narcissists. I feel deeply sorry for them because they are imprisoned by their own toxicity and will never experience true love, happiness nor peace.
@@roxymovie3938 I'm sorry. I need to clarify that I have great sympathy for my sister. Not so for my mother. It was my narcissist mother who founded a church. Not my sister.
@@edwardgreacen1833 Thanks for your answer and for clarifying 😉
I am also INFJ and a magnet for narcissists. I hate them with a passion
@@hautecouture2228 That wraps it nicely. Thanks!
Danish, I love your videos. You have helped me out a lot with your wisdom and your strength. It’s so tough to have to endure narcissistic abuse, I can only imagine it being worse when it’s your own parents. Keep shining bright like a 🌟!
After draining my kindness and finances, it is good to hear that my ex-brother may have microparticles of unease and regret somewhere inside his evil soul. I am now severely allergic to narcissists and it has been good for me. They get ripped a new one if they get too close.
holy crap this was the most spot on video of a narcissist I've ever watched. This is my mom 100% :( Thanks for making this. Great work.
Danish, you have described my estranged adoptive mother to a T-never realised she was actually a narcissist until recently! TY x
Danish, you describe my father perfectly! I am so sorry that your parents are the same! Your videos are very insightful!
I am finally, finally understanding my MIL. I understand now why my husband (and our children and me) are so disliked by her. He's the child that will not allow her to control him. I understand now why a lot of the other children just don't get it. Because she doesn't treat most of them the way she treats us. What hurts most is how she tries so hard to turn our teen/adult children against us. I finally realize it's not us that's crazy.
I like your straight to the point videos, thank you for the wake up calls. Sometimes the videos hurt so bad and I have to take a break and grief over my pain, but I always come back for more insight.