You’d Be Surprised How People Perceive You

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  • čas přidán 15. 11. 2022
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    This video is a short fiction story about a young woman who, after waking up without any of her long-term memory and knowledge about herself, must try to understand who she is and what happened through others. What she realizes about herself is something much more strange than she expected.
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Komentáře • 2,3K

  • @PursuitofWonder
    @PursuitofWonder  Před rokem +663

    As always, thank you for watching.
    Check out my books here: www.amazon.com/stores/Robert-Pantano/author/B08DCRJ85C

    • @KerriEverlasting
      @KerriEverlasting Před rokem +2

      I downloaded your book on Audible. I'm sorry. I can't listen to what my family are living through. A heads up (pardon the pun) would have been good as to the content of the book.

    • @regnbuetorsk
      @regnbuetorsk Před rokem

      why you keep changing title and thumbnail?

    • @Nick-Odd
      @Nick-Odd Před rokem +2

      Everyone was telling the truth except her boyfriend, he was sounding like a douche bag, and sister that sounded similar was actually quite different since she was trying to tell their relation not her character.

    • @lxMaDnEsSxl
      @lxMaDnEsSxl Před rokem +1

      This is wrong. it's not contradictory. they all agreed a fight happened at a bar. jeez.
      it's the same with crime witness testaments. still a crime happened. doesn't have to do with memory of self, self image, or life.

    • @baskoning9896
      @baskoning9896 Před rokem

      The wiggling drawings are super annoying. I literally cannot watch them without triggering a migraine. They are the same as flashes flashing several times per second. Left-right. Left-right. Left-right. Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle. And why. What does it add. Nothing.

  • @carlosardilla
    @carlosardilla Před rokem +17834

    In my youth, a teacher explained to us: "We are three different people: who we think we are, who others tell us we are, and who we really are"

    • @AGKyran
      @AGKyran Před rokem +755

      It's a concept that is spread through the world.
      In psychology there's something that I can badly translate to the this, the me and the super-ego.
      In japanese culture they say we have three faces, one we show to strangers, one we show to close people, and one only us know.

    • @IHMSANBWEUM
      @IHMSANBWEUM Před rokem +48

      @@AGKyran yeah i also heard of this and its kinda true i guess 😓

    • @dumbestguyintheroompodcast7062
      @dumbestguyintheroompodcast7062 Před rokem +193

      I am not what I think I am, I'm not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am..

    • @IHMSANBWEUM
      @IHMSANBWEUM Před rokem +28

      @@dumbestguyintheroompodcast7062 its so complicated to understand 😅 but i got it

    • @m.a.a.d9275
      @m.a.a.d9275 Před rokem +42

      @@AGKyran but even this is not fully accurate. I am close with my family and im close with my friends, but a lot of them would describe me differently

  • @AnonymousBosch3158
    @AnonymousBosch3158 Před rokem +27481

    To be honest, I think nobody knows a person completely. Not even themselves.

    • @carmel8734
      @carmel8734 Před rokem +162

      True 💯

    • @jaimedeleon1194
      @jaimedeleon1194 Před rokem +35

      Who said that?

    • @jaetrnn6000
      @jaetrnn6000 Před rokem +332

      The people who know you best are probably those like your parents. Older individuals with a lot more wisdom then you who spend a lot of time with you. But even then, anyone like that is far and few between and anyone would be fortunate nowadays to have someone like that in their life.

    • @curiouscat428
      @curiouscat428 Před rokem +180

      Right and wrong. I have some discrepancies about myself, and sometimes different people can describe me differently. They describe me in variations. I'm a quiet and a bit shy bookworm to one, but a new person describe me as funloving, outgoing and adventurous. People think I'm soft, but my ex Japanese boss know I'm the expert on how to get the job done. Also, I can be childish and selfish sometimes, but I know I'm also very independent and a very capable leader, I know I can get people to respect me and follow my lead. I also collect branded fashion goods and can be a huge spender who doesn't think twice at times, but on the other side of the coin I also like to thrift and buy cheap or secondhand stuff, just like I enjoy eating or staying somewhere posh and like lucurious holidays, but I also like to backpack or going to rock concerts (when I went to school in Japan), and this translates as getting baked in the sun all day and slumming it on the grass, the side of roads, or staying at hostels or camping just for the experience. I held a mean position in corporate once before resigning, but I also collect vintage Barbies and soft animals. I wore on alternate days the most adult looking elegant pieces and can go top to toe polished and with branded stuff only, but I do have my moments of still going out with my pretty cure bag and casual clothes, and I wore colorful kpop fashion and hairstyles. I like karate once in university and try some sessions but I never let go of ballet. I can be mean and not hesitate to catfight, but I'm also like charity works and assistance to the needy and homeless.
      But I DO KNOW myself well. Very well, in fact. The Japanese call these things as "having a gap", and this is what makes a person interesting. And those who calls themselves my real friend knows me and accepts me for all these cute discrepancies that doesn't make sense at times. But it's true that I don't lead double lives that's extreme. A well respected priest or community leader at noon and a child molester in private for instance 😂.
      I think it's fun for people to not know how to pinpoint us. Gives it some mystery and excitement. Otherwise, a person would be as boring as dried fish.

    • @koldheartedbam1064
      @koldheartedbam1064 Před rokem +78

      God does

  • @Kerrviii
    @Kerrviii Před rokem +3962

    My high school sweethearts mom said it best “it’s like customer service” , dealing with people. It’s not being fake, you’re just accessing their needs and moving on to the next problem.

    • @theterminaldave
      @theterminaldave Před rokem +69

      Remember those Unicru tests where you have to answer questions for retail work such as "you do not fake being polite- Strongly agree or Strongly disagree"
      Those tests were the stupidest measure of a person ever. Imagine someone being incredible rude and you having to keep a professional attitude simply because your job demands it. Is that not "faking being polite". What even is polite? Remaining civil i understand, but polite?

    • @shoutatthesky
      @shoutatthesky Před rokem +14

      *assessing

    • @theonlineanimal6009
      @theonlineanimal6009 Před rokem

      @@shoutatthesky ass licking

    • @brah04X
      @brah04X Před 10 měsíci +7

      Thank you! That perspective helps me a lot as a person who is so afraid of being fake are therefore struggling a lot with many social interactions.

    • @gLitCheRR44
      @gLitCheRR44 Před 6 měsíci +1

      assess deez nuts, sounds fake to me

  • @John-dx8lt
    @John-dx8lt Před rokem +5783

    Understanding how others perceive us is a key aspect to self awareness

    • @melon9680
      @melon9680 Před rokem +1

      Not if said people you surround yourself with are uneducated halfwits. Hence the saying, you are the company you keep.

    • @lilyrosepunkunicorm9871
      @lilyrosepunkunicorm9871 Před rokem +12

      Yes

    • @sinew1000
      @sinew1000 Před rokem +401

      Only surface level. Knowing how other people know you is not self awareness. Self awareness is being aware of the self. We are more than what we can manage to communicate.

    • @jebidiahnewkedkracker1801
      @jebidiahnewkedkracker1801 Před rokem +36

      Perhaps....But if I understand (how others perceive me), BUT DONT GIVE A $#!t, is that yet ANOTHER key aspect to self awareness? Just curious.

    • @mattb.7079
      @mattb.7079 Před rokem +238

      I think the very purpose of this video is rather to show that it's pointless actually trying to know you through other people's perceptions because everyone will have a different mental representation of you. So that eventually, wanting to understand how we are perceived by others is completely futile because everyone has a different perception and you hardly show the same side/personality in front of each of those. Trying to know how people think of you is a poison for the mind and precisely the pit you shouldn't fall into.

  • @alexxx4434
    @alexxx4434 Před rokem +4231

    *“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”*
    ― Marcus Aurelius

    • @misterdavid2291
      @misterdavid2291 Před 9 měsíci +51

      Great saying except Marcus Aurelius never said it. It’s an apocryphal modernised misquote.

    • @janyozenith4331
      @janyozenith4331 Před 8 měsíci +23

      I just watched Pulp Fiction, so I read the name as "Marsellus Wallace" and started trying to remember when he said that in the movie.

    • @gigabossbitch
      @gigabossbitch Před 5 měsíci +20

      @@misterdavid2291that’s just your opinion

    • @stickpfp6347
      @stickpfp6347 Před 5 měsíci

      You’re not hearing it though, so it doesn’t have to be an opinion

    • @reynaldoponce3645
      @reynaldoponce3645 Před 4 měsíci +7

      He said 3 plus 3 is 6, that's his opinion.
      I saw him steal the item, well that's your perspective said the thief

  • @johnpaulcross424
    @johnpaulcross424 Před rokem +18887

    Scariest thing is when you accidentally slip into personality #3 with friend group #5 and don’t know how they’ll take it

  • @jenhasken
    @jenhasken Před rokem +6244

    My dad wrote down observations on the days my sisters and I were born. For me he wrote: "Thoughtful, even now." And he was right. No one knew me or championed me like my dad. Many completely miss the mark. Often because people have their own agendas. When you truly love someone you drop that.

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt Před rokem +257

      Dads can be (and should be) the best things on this planet to a girl. I’m almost 40 and my dad is still my best friend, and my most adamant supporter.

    • @theeclectic2919
      @theeclectic2919 Před rokem +92

      @@HeatherHolt I feel that way about my daughter. (Interesting that right before watching this video I was looking at the origins of the name Heather, because if I ever have another daughter, I might name her that.)
      I think it's great you have a good relationship with your father.

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt Před rokem +36

      @@theeclectic2919 aww that’s awesome bc the name Heather was super popular in the 80s and 90s but fell off hard. I got sent an article called something like the rise and fall of the name Heather or the meteoric rise and fall of the name Heather. Something like that. It was an interesting read. I know many a Heather in their 30s like me but none under 30. It’s a name that deserves a comeback (seeing as how everyone’s naming their girls after game of thrones characters now, before that it was Twilight lol)

    • @theeclectic2919
      @theeclectic2919 Před rokem +24

      @@HeatherHolt I think that movie "Heathers" is what sent it on a downward spiral.

    • @lilnigga9622
      @lilnigga9622 Před rokem +16

      He bred you to be thoughtful, probably.

  • @thespiritschild
    @thespiritschild Před rokem +4133

    I believe Claire is all of the "personalities" the people who know her described. A personality isn’t a thing that can be described in a narrow way or put in a box. I don’t think we human beings are that simple. Don’t forget that we are very social beings. Meaning that it is only natural for us to adapt to others. It doesn’t mean we are not being ourselves, it just means we act appropriately based upon the context. We are still "us", it’s just that we let different aspects of ourselves shine in different situations. The only time you are not being yourself is, I believe, when you do things that make you uncomfortable or does not align with your core values. "Values" is a different subject to be argued.

    • @_Chessa_
      @_Chessa_ Před rokem +72

      I like the entire comment but at the end. I’m uncomfortable no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing. Or by myself.
      I’m not sure it’s that black and white when someone is uncomfortable.
      What if you always felt that way no matter what you did or how you relaxed?
      It’s a nightmare but it’s what some people live with everyday.
      What I mean is, you are still true yourself at the core even when uncomfortable feeling.
      Id love to know what feeling relaxed and comfortable is. It sounds kind of blissful and amazing like a freeing from the brain in a way. Hope you don’t think it’s a bad comment, I just felt I should share because there are people that have an unrelaxed brain even in sleep.

    • @ncedwards1234
      @ncedwards1234 Před rokem +74

      @@_Chessa_
      Sounds like you're in a prison of the mind. Hard to know who you are when you aren't even free. But you are a curious person, so there's a good chance you'll be whoever you want to be if you just ask the right questions at the right time. Good luck.

    • @lydialorincova7628
      @lydialorincova7628 Před rokem +22

      I would not really agree. Of course people do adapt to different situations based on the society standards, but if you are authentic and play no games, your personality will always shine through. I don't like when people start justifying their "fakeness" with social expectations. I am myself a very authentic person and everyone would describe be almost identically. I in fact asked many people how they see me and their response was very similar. So I believe all of this is about being true to who you really are and showing people only your authentic self

    • @alicejones5312
      @alicejones5312 Před rokem +2

      Yes!!!

    • @natalia-fm
      @natalia-fm Před rokem +37

      @@lydialorincova7628 But there are different situations that make you want to take different action courses . As for an example, when you're alone idk playing a game, you're not going to talk to yourself about the stuff in the game, like you don't feel the need to expose the things you're thinking about because for you is enough to think and elaborate the thoughts on your mind. But if there was someone like a friend next to you, you naturally feel like pointing out some stuff out loud, because you want to share with them, hear their opinion etc. I know there are ppl who talk to themselves, but taking those ppl aside that's usually how it works, just like I can be super conversative when I'm hanging out with my friends and more calm and quiet at home, because I need time for myself to compensate for the time I spent socializing. So my family will end up having a different view of me, but they are not wrong.

  • @baki484
    @baki484 Před rokem +12153

    Noticed that when I was 17. We actively or passively sell a different image of ourselves to a specific person or people. At home you're viewed as not taking anything seriously or absent minded, your teachers see a hard working and overly serious student.
    Friends see you as chilled or crazy family relatives see you as overly serious, to the congregation at church you seem angry. All this is based on how you treat various individuals. We don't wear 1 mask we wear multiple to suit the situation.

    • @pyewackett5
      @pyewackett5 Před rokem +509

      Was once told by someone that the reason they liked me was because I had no 'filters.'
      I disagreed & said I was very aware of ' filters ...'

    • @baki484
      @baki484 Před rokem +165

      @@pyewackett5 I've had that too. People see things that we don't see. This falls under johari's window in the blind quadrant (not known to self) what others know about us without our awareness. Maybe you're just brutally honest without realizing.

    • @Brandon-bc5um
      @Brandon-bc5um Před rokem +46

      I remember my acid days

    • @baki484
      @baki484 Před rokem +9

      @@Brandon-bc5um acid days?

    • @tamanna8796
      @tamanna8796 Před rokem +4

      So true

  • @yazeed188
    @yazeed188 Před rokem +2526

    "The self is an illusion, a story we tell ourselves."
    - Ford, Westworld

    • @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500
      @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Před rokem +23

      Yes it is. We all have right to choose what we want. People need to learn that it is none of their business to trash other people with their opinions, especially when they do not know someone personal.

    • @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500
      @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Před rokem +11

      Still, it shocks me how convinced people can be about their flawlessness when judging people they have never spend essential time with and being convinced of their goodness when doing bad and mean thing and justifying it because bad actions are popular. It is like i would go to church everyday. Praying every day. Doing good things for family, friends, neighbors and strangers. But one day i hear of a woman being talked about. People claim she had comitted bad stuff like adultery etc. And actually i do not know this person. But close people i trust very deeply have given me the full picture and as everyone is chanting their hate towards her in a ritualistic and repetitive manner, reality is created by popular opinions rather than actual facts.

    • @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500
      @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Před rokem

      Of course i would not consider myself as a bad person, when agreeing on the enthusiastic decision we have all made to teach her a lesson. So bullying, stalking etc becomes the norm. And even people i admire, even educated people take part in it. So if those people are doing it, if the majority is doing thing, they cannot be wrong, right? And as i know i am not a bad person, being wrong is impossible, right?

    • @danielhsu7427
      @danielhsu7427 Před rokem +1

      so impressive

    • @melon9680
      @melon9680 Před rokem +2

      @@ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Let me refer you to a channel, might help you make better sense of the situation. Theramintrees

  • @natet5959
    @natet5959 Před rokem +1879

    I think I'm more outgoing than people perceive me. As a teenager, friends and family thought of me as painfully shy and withdrawn, so I went with it, but there are certain people who bring me out of my shell and when that happens, I feel more alive.

    • @dawsoncarpenter2206
      @dawsoncarpenter2206 Před rokem +226

      Broo i hate that. I feel like it’s hard to change and mature around family because what they think of you is molded so you play along with it:/ I’m only shy around ppl when I’m around them

    • @strawberriistarrr
      @strawberriistarrr Před rokem +124

      I relate to this sm. Most people in my life percieve me as an extremely quiet and reserved person but there are few people who I feel comfortable enough around to be outspoken and expressive and i find that I end up enjoying spending time with those people more.

    • @dawsoncarpenter2206
      @dawsoncarpenter2206 Před rokem +54

      @@strawberriistarrr same. Then when I accidentally show my other side to my family I cringe

    • @avaius
      @avaius Před rokem +23

      I wish I knew how to get over this sort of thing

    • @Mighty.Matcha.
      @Mighty.Matcha. Před rokem +22

      Same bc my family is full of narcisssits, I don’t want them to know me so I was quiet most of the time. And try my best to not respond to them.

  • @D3K018
    @D3K018 Před rokem +670

    Moral: Don't care what people think about you, not even the closest people to you will know 100% how you are, the perception of someone unknown doesn't matter at all because they don't have the slightest idea of who you are or what you've been through.

    • @Novastar.SaberCombat
      @Novastar.SaberCombat Před rokem

      It is unfortunate but expected that no human truly, viscerally, thoroughly 'knows' another. Anyone who claims differently is deceiving themselves.
      Besides, when and if the moment comes for two individuals to truly become close, by then, there have been WAAAYYY too many lies and half-truths spun by both parties. And even upon one's death bed, statistics show that even close partners to someone who has died didn't know X, Y, nor Z about them.
      🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

    • @midi2732
      @midi2732 Před rokem +23

      I agree, if someone is confused about who they are it’s because they don’t know themselves, know thy self so when people say you are this or that it doesn’t matter.

    • @burnknuckles5906
      @burnknuckles5906 Před rokem +4

      @Teddy Baker can beat you in a fight I kinda agree with what you're saying, only a psychopath wouldn't care at all because they lack empathy or remorse over their actions. It's really frustrating to see many people giving this kind of advice

    • @noracola5285
      @noracola5285 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @Teddy Baker wants to know how your day was What makes you think people need to care what others think of them to have self motivation be be better than they have to be? I frequently fight against others' perceptions to do the right thing and be the best person I can. Maybe I'm surrounded by such monsters, but I strongly doubt it. Not anymore. Maybe that internal drive comes from having been raised by one & not wanting there to be another one.

    • @josephisaround
      @josephisaround Před 2 měsíci +1

      Good luck with that, but can you accept yourself even when you still care? Because you most definitely will, forever. Why? Because it's human, it's in our genes.
      Good luck

  • @Emily-kb6ri
    @Emily-kb6ri Před rokem +4524

    This happened to me. I went through ~60 ECT (shock treatments). I lost my entire memory. I had no idea who I was or what I was like.
    They said the memories would come back, and they never came back.
    People would tell me things, but it was just like a story being told to me, not like I was REALLY there.
    I still don’t know who I am, but woke up two years ago one day, with no recollection of my life.
    I always say it’s like “God just placed me on the Earth, a new born baby, at age 24”

    • @ekpomfonido8330
      @ekpomfonido8330 Před rokem +549

      I want to know how that affected you in all areas of life. I'm invested now.

    • @morris9524
      @morris9524 Před rokem +280

      Like the person above me this really interests me, to me it seems like the people that were close to you and remain in your life will tell you stories and through them shape you back into the old you again but from what you say about being a new born baby this doesn't really seem to be the case. Is a spiritual notion of the self involved in any way? I can imagine that if your 'personality' falls away it is easier to let go of ego. Thanks for sharing and coexisting with me!

    • @y4go650
      @y4go650 Před rokem

      .

    • @LUN7RSC7PE
      @LUN7RSC7PE Před rokem +250

      Now you create yourself. Day by day.
      May God bless your journey.

    • @lizard-breathOG
      @lizard-breathOG Před rokem +70

      Please share more! This is interesting to read. Also, are you sad about it? If so I’m sorry 😞

  • @what-6704
    @what-6704 Před rokem +4794

    There's actually a book about this concept, it's "Uno, nessuno e centomila" (sorry I don't really know the translation) and it's by an Italian author named Pirandello. Basically the protagonist discovers that he had a little flaw he wasn't aware of, but everyone else knew about it and it was just part of how they saw him. This little thing destroys his perception of himself and practically he spends the rest of the book going mad because of it. (sorry for my bad English)

    • @raulrus9026
      @raulrus9026 Před rokem +740

      your english was great man

    • @what-6704
      @what-6704 Před rokem +106

      @@raulrus9026 thanks

    • @ned_5974
      @ned_5974 Před rokem +34

      what a great book ❤

    • @Ali-rb3ir
      @Ali-rb3ir Před rokem +430

      Surprised no one mentioned it yet, but the book's name translates to "One, nobody and hundred thousand"

    • @mrcuttime22
      @mrcuttime22 Před rokem +143

      Sounds like the "Hidden Brain" episode on two weeks ago, when the psychologist discovers he's a psychopath, while he's studying psychopathy, and his wife, family and friends all confirm it. There's "persona" and then there's our inner life or self-image. We're all in that same boat so, it doesn't really matter, except for job interviews like marriage.

  • @TheLastProzacNation
    @TheLastProzacNation Před rokem +1317

    People can perceive you differently depending on their own personalities and attitude towards you and others. You can do something good and you will be perceived by different people on a range from bad to good. You can do something bad and the same applies. A lot of times people will drag you down if you try to rise up above them, so the perceptions of others about you matters not unless you want to be consumed by misery and anxiety.

    • @jJust_NO_
      @jJust_NO_ Před rokem +23

      my very first thought.. others perception of you shouldnt take precedence on your mind unless you know, without a shadow of doubt, that the informant youre willing to listen to has the encompassing knowledge about human nature.. because these kinds of personalities dont make harsh, coarse judgment. they even take aside their own egos sometimes if its warranted and weigh every judgment in every possible angle.

    • @kieradark3120
      @kieradark3120 Před rokem +11

      Yeah that me, i think way too much about how people see me. Don’t.recommend.it.

    • @miiq4749
      @miiq4749 Před rokem +2

      This the one

    • @asafoetidajones8181
      @asafoetidajones8181 Před rokem +7

      I'm sure there are people who view me as a potential victim and little else, people who truly love me and have my best interests at heart, and everything in between. Most people probably don't think about me much at all besides immediate family/partners/friends.

  • @iambranden
    @iambranden Před rokem +474

    This video makes me want to create a video for myself just in case I ever get amnesia or Alzheimer’s, basically explaining who I AM. Like all the little intricate details of my personality, habits, beliefs, fears, hopes, secrets etc. or a “How to be You” video.

    • @ariellebabes6180
      @ariellebabes6180 Před rokem +19

      Fifty First Dates - Adam Sandler movie :')

    • @UwU-lm9or
      @UwU-lm9or Před rokem +27

      DUDE NO I THINK ABOUT THAT TOO SOMETIMES just in case if it ever happens just a "guide on how to be me" or yk BUT hope I wasnt rude glad someone had the same idea as me! :D

    • @ClipzCollective
      @ClipzCollective Před rokem +7

      Same I was just thinking of writing down in a note pad 💀

    • @DearStephanieX
      @DearStephanieX Před rokem +1

      What?! This is a great idea 😭🙌🏽 I feel like I should too

    • @ariellebabes6180
      @ariellebabes6180 Před rokem +1

      @@UwU-lm9or not rude :'))))
      just taking precautions here!!

  • @rakusko33
    @rakusko33 Před rokem +710

    There is an old japanese saying which I dont know the exact words of, but goes something like this: " Every person has three faces. One face they show in public to the majority of the world. Another face they show to their most intimate people, like close friends and family. And the last face is the one you show to no one but yourself. That is the truest version of you."

    • @Franciskev2
      @Franciskev2 Před rokem +4

      Holy Ghost

    • @quinnnguyen1632
      @quinnnguyen1632 Před rokem +6

      Sun moon and rising ?

    • @KristiContemplates
      @KristiContemplates Před rokem +7

      What if you don't have that last face?

    • @blackblue7372
      @blackblue7372 Před rokem +7

      @@KristiContemplates why?

    • @apolloismydad
      @apolloismydad Před rokem +1

      @@blackblue7372 like you’ve faked so much around so many people that even you don’t know who you actually are, you don’t know what face to show yourself

  • @ShroomedMisterCraft
    @ShroomedMisterCraft Před rokem +1001

    I awoke from a coma in November 2021. I had to learn to walk again, learn to eat. I'll maybe never be okay again after the whole thing. It's made me feel the world all over again like being reborn, but with all my memories. The first thing I did when I was out of the hospital was hobble into a Walmart and eat some blueberries. Everyone was staring at me, but the world would never understand what I had been through just days prior. I'm probably never gonna be the same as I was before.

    • @divineigbinoba4506
      @divineigbinoba4506 Před rokem +28

      I'm just curious...
      Did you also learn to speak and write all over again like you learned to walk?

    • @realityutubetv8846
      @realityutubetv8846 Před rokem +8

      How long were u in a coma what happened?

    • @lebronjames4705
      @lebronjames4705 Před rokem +60

      Reading this almost makes me feel like I’ve been under appreciating everything and life and i too have been reborn

    • @brandonirving5014
      @brandonirving5014 Před rokem +2

      Perhaps you can and will, maybe already are better.

    • @georgiaisom6347
      @georgiaisom6347 Před rokem +9

      I don't believe every comment I read..

  • @SpaceLobster21
    @SpaceLobster21 Před rokem +832

    If there's one thing I know for sure about myself, it's that I'm always down for having an existential crisis. Thanks for making this video and chasing me to question my life just a little bit more :)

    • @SpaceLobster21
      @SpaceLobster21 Před rokem +9

      *edit: causing, not chasing lol
      Autocorrect is dumb

    • @lilyrosepunkunicorm9871
      @lilyrosepunkunicorm9871 Před rokem +2

      @@SpaceLobster21 np!

    • @christiansanderson7397
      @christiansanderson7397 Před rokem

      We will all be dust in the wind soon enough anyways right! Look back at our life and how much has happened and how fast it happened. Also look back at how much time we spend worrying, I think it’s finding that fine balance of letting go and accepting the unknown. Pursue the best version of yourself, or die with the what if!

    • @soumyabharti7601
      @soumyabharti7601 Před rokem +10

      this made me chuckle cuz relate

    • @imeneezzeddine6449
      @imeneezzeddine6449 Před rokem +3

      I can relate 😂😂😂... I think that's why we are subscribed to this channel in the first place!

  • @wayneisname4544
    @wayneisname4544 Před rokem +99

    It's pointless to worry about what someone thinks of you, everyone will think differently of you

    • @dariuspalmer2829
      @dariuspalmer2829 Před rokem +9

      Easier said than done

    • @wayneisname4544
      @wayneisname4544 Před rokem +4

      @@dariuspalmer2829 I agree, it is a hard habit to break

    • @niveous5392
      @niveous5392 Před 9 měsíci +7

      The idea is to not let it completely change you or bring emotional distraught but to also allow that opinion in to find the better version of yourself.

    • @gLitCheRR44
      @gLitCheRR44 Před 6 měsíci +1

      not if your behavior was more consistent

    • @drfranz29
      @drfranz29 Před 3 měsíci

      The sole reason why you shouldn't think about what everyone thinks of you is that " You shouldn't. You yourself don't even like everybody"

  • @khushboo8191
    @khushboo8191 Před rokem +930

    It's crazy how everybody thinks of you so differently and the you that you think you are doesn't even exist outside of your head because nobody else thinks you of that but you. It's like she'll never know who she was or what she was like because just like everybody else she also had an opinion (?) on herself and that's the only one that'll fit right to her.

    • @NuhamTb
      @NuhamTb Před rokem +5

      Ya interesting

    • @PrashantSingh-ee7st
      @PrashantSingh-ee7st Před rokem +11

      and the worst versions of herself would be known by her closest ones..

    • @khushboo8191
      @khushboo8191 Před rokem +26

      @@PrashantSingh-ee7st I think worse yeah sure but not the worst. Her "worst" version is something only she'll know, there are some things you just never share. And everybody has different takes on what bad/worst is. Say, I hate the xyz person so I'll find bad in everything she does. Imo only the person (if they are self-aware enough) would realise what their worst version is..

    • @PrashantSingh-ee7st
      @PrashantSingh-ee7st Před rokem +2

      @@khushboo8191 yeah you are right but according to me in some sense the worst in us is also portrayed to the other person through our actions which sometimes is done intentionally or we just don't realise it at that point of time.... But later we do.... So I guess some worse part of us are also known by our closest ones(even though we don't realise it)

    • @mrcuttime22
      @mrcuttime22 Před rokem +7

      Either our personas are "relative" to people we like to spend time with, or we tend to "try out" various personas with people that bring them out, esp. when we're young. Or yeah, diff people SEE or describe diff characteristics. And then there's our "Shadow" behavior we ourselves are not very aware of.

  • @hamentbindra2659
    @hamentbindra2659 Před rokem +842

    I've always had this theory that, you have three versions of yourself, 1. Who you think you are, 2. Who people think you are, 3. Who you actually are. Since, you yourself don't realise all the things you actually do, and neither do the people around you, the third version causes all the chaos. That's why we all keep on trying to find our true self.

    • @sinpfiec1047
      @sinpfiec1047 Před rokem +13

      What you/other think is just opinion based on opinions, topic and ideas, it's formulated through your understanding of the world, same goes for others as well. You can't know the actuality, even God contradicts themselves. We are dangerous ourselves, it's our instinct, it's our nature. And there's no true selves that we sought to find, even I probably contradicts what I just said and what I sought to find.

    • @arrow1042
      @arrow1042 Před rokem +9

      It's" johari window" try to look it up

    • @insertusernamehere7847
      @insertusernamehere7847 Před rokem +28

      That's not your theory unfortunately. It has existed for quite a while.

    • @hamentbindra2659
      @hamentbindra2659 Před rokem +3

      @@insertusernamehere7847 yeah, and it just proves what sinpfiec said is true. Amazing

    • @hamentbindra2659
      @hamentbindra2659 Před rokem +1

      @@arrow1042 thanks, it cleared up alot of things for me 👍

  • @ieonorb7432
    @ieonorb7432 Před rokem +210

    This happened to me before, but I was the one that pushed me into it - I didn't lose my memories or anything like that, I kinda just broke my own mind for a solid year.
    I'm a pretty sensitive person and my family has always had a vilified perception of me when I express my hurt with something, "that didn't happen", "you're exaggerating", "you just wanna start a fight", "you're so cold", etc. Now I know that their perception of me is just that, but at the time, after years of hearing that, it finally broke me and I asked myself if I even knew who I thought I was, if the people that were supposed to know me best thought that of me.
    For a solid year, I wasn't able to trust myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my body, and I didn't know what to trust either.. It felt like I was going insane

    • @eniola4201
      @eniola4201 Před rokem +15

      this is exactly how i'm feeling right now.

    • @serenarobbins5496
      @serenarobbins5496 Před rokem +5

      When did it get better ?

    • @ieonorb7432
      @ieonorb7432 Před rokem +23

      @@eniola4201 I'm so sorry to hear that... I truly hope you get better! And I hope what got me out of that mind state helps you - the solution I found was to trust myself whether it matched with what others said or not, stubbornly trust my first thought/feeling/impulse to things.
      I was doubting myself, cause I placed other people's perceptions of me/things ahead of my own - and I don't think anyone is supposed to live like that (we're supposed to be selfish from time to time). So if you're mad, you're mad; if you're sad, you're sad; if you're hurt, you're hurt; if you're all of the above, you're all of the above; and no one should take that away from you - if they invalidate you for your feelings, it's a them problem

    • @ieonorb7432
      @ieonorb7432 Před rokem +19

      @@serenarobbins5496 It's been about 2 years since then, I think... It took a while to get better, a lot of researching repeatedly "how to know what you feel is real", a lot of arguments, a lot of crying and yelling and punching bags to reach the "simple" conclusion of:
      just trust yourself over others, whether what you think/feel matches their opinions or not - I went through a long time of just plainly shutting down other people's opinions on me, just to set the standard in my mind that my point of view matters more (to me); at some point I trusted myself enough to start listening again to others without it being harmful to me

    • @kirbonotsus4304
      @kirbonotsus4304 Před rokem +6

      Yeah I’m kind of going through that right now it’s really painful but thankfully I am aware that others like me exist👍

  • @tomd1434
    @tomd1434 Před rokem +140

    I started meditating because I’m trying to improve how I react to stress. It has helped calm me down. It’s been Two weeks and do 10-20 minute sessions. It’s free and you can do it anywhere. I recommend everyone try.

    • @tomd1434
      @tomd1434 Před rokem +8

      @Jake Murphy
      That’s good to here. I’ve had panic attacks and understand how fearing them makes it worse. I think of them as snowballs rolling down a hill. If it keeps going it gets bigger and bigger and goes faster and faster. Anything that can interrupt its momentum and slow it is helpful. Deep breathing is another good exercise. I used to think it was nonsense. It’s not. If I feel mild anxiety I can calm my whole system with just 1-2 minutes of deep breathing. I’ve never knew to try it during a panic attack. I’m not sure it would completely calm my system during one of those (and I’m not exactly hoping to find out), but I’m sure it could slow the snowball down. Anyway glad you’ve made some progress for yourself. Peace

    • @tomd1434
      @tomd1434 Před rokem

      @Jake Murphy
      You’re welcome 👍

    • @CharleysZenZone
      @CharleysZenZone Před rokem +3

      Breathe in. Breathe out 🧘🏽‍♂️

    • @Rosiestoned
      @Rosiestoned Před rokem

      dont do it in public restrooms when other people have to pee rly bad tho

  • @brachistochrone_5206
    @brachistochrone_5206 Před rokem +237

    This is what Sartre meant by “hell is other people”. Instances of your existence across the universe exist primarily in the minds of others more than in the notion of yourself in your own mind. You are doomed to exist primarily in others’ conception of you for better or worse, without your control.
    Even if you act as your most genuine self, people can only know a small piece of you. Even just a remark that came out wrong to someone in line at the coffee shop, that’s who you are to some. And you can ever take that back.

    • @ezekielduran4386
      @ezekielduran4386 Před rokem +18

      Thanks. It reminds me of a time as I was entering a McDonald's in Denver. A homeless man accused me of being racist for not giving him money. I only add the next to describe reality. This came from an African American man. I am half mexican and half caucasian, with my father having extremely dark skin, and experiencing extreme racism himself but my skin tone and look is pure caucasian, like my mother. Racism is my one true hate and any racist act, as I have family from different races, and have grown up experiencing two different cultures. To be accused of being racist by happenstance was such a shock for me, and such an insult as I was walking into the place with my extremely dark skinned father. But I guess to each their own perspective. And thanks for the Sarte mention. I've recently started studying philosophy and even writing my own currently. I know of Sarte, but there is so much to learn still. I appreciate the comment and agree wholeheartedly with his perspective

    • @KristiContemplates
      @KristiContemplates Před rokem +1

      Sounds like the plot device of 'Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor'. A 2022 YA/middle-school novel by Canadian author Xiran Jay Zhou.

    • @optimisticandpessimistic4785
      @optimisticandpessimistic4785 Před rokem +1

      @BloggingWorld I understand you mate …

    • @amg9163
      @amg9163 Před rokem

      Thank you for the Sarte quote and your comment. I felt unettled and a bit sad by the end of this video, but your comment helped.

  • @ReynaSingh
    @ReynaSingh Před rokem +212

    The concept of you is a character existing in your mind more so than anywhere else

  • @anonymousyt5289
    @anonymousyt5289 Před rokem +158

    The thing is that people really look for those traits in their friends or relations which they admire about themselves . To be friends with anyone , we have to have common traits. Slowly we base the other person's whole personality on those things that we associate with , even though that person might not always have or show these characteristics. So to have a strong connection with anyone we see a replica of ourselves in them and that's why different people can perceive a single person differently, how they describe you is mostly how they view themselves. Essentially we don't have a single true self with everyone , neither can we because we also tend to act differently around different people to sort of "fit in" with them. The only way to understand who we really are , we have to maintain a journal and think about our majorly recurring thoughts and actions- unless you lose your memory.

    • @dumbestguyintheroompodcast7062
      @dumbestguyintheroompodcast7062 Před rokem +7

      I think it's important to question your values. If we value things that we do not have control over, the things we value will control us. As long as we are controlled by worldly things, we will never be able to elevate your true self. If we value our character and choices than we regain control over our life. It is at that moment you can let go of the traits you do not like about yourself and start creating your true self.

    • @AbandonedVoid
      @AbandonedVoid Před 3 měsíci

      That's also how dehumanization works, which is the reverse process. By focusing on differences, one can create division.

  • @vivienneleblanc5287
    @vivienneleblanc5287 Před rokem +58

    I think everyone is a mixture of everyone’s perceptions of them. Certain people will only pick up on certain traits of yours, and they’ve only seen you during certain events. A lot of the things someone thinks about you are only due to the fact that they’ve seen you in action during numerous experiences.

    • @reyna1416
      @reyna1416 Před rokem +1

      Yes! Also in every one of the interactions they all seemed to see her the way they wanted, like somewhat in a projection type of way.

  • @annikat6793
    @annikat6793 Před rokem +212

    Those versions of you in other people's minds are all that's left when you're gone.

    • @Brandon-bc5um
      @Brandon-bc5um Před rokem +32

      Good to know that when I'm gone, I'll be truly gone. Relieving

    • @therearenoshortcuts9868
      @therearenoshortcuts9868 Před rokem +9

      @@Brandon-bc5um
      ultimate spoilers:
      death is not a punishment... it's actually a reward
      problem is God knows it takes ur whole life for you to realize this... and thats why he makes you live so long...

    • @brandonsmisek6334
      @brandonsmisek6334 Před rokem +11

      @@therearenoshortcuts9868 stop

    • @KristiContemplates
      @KristiContemplates Před rokem

      Sounds like the plot device of 'Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor'.
      YA/middle-school novel by Canadian author Xiran Jay Zhou

    • @diamondedevil
      @diamondedevil Před rokem

      and then when theyre gone? youll be truly dead to the world

  • @cloudyview
    @cloudyview Před rokem +158

    no one really knows anyone. That’s the thing about relationships - people are always saying, “I want to know you, I want to know who you are.” But it is so hard for anyone to even know themselves. Who I am is always changing, so how can anyone else share in that?
    -Linklater

    • @alexandras.8972
      @alexandras.8972 Před rokem +3

      this means you are evolving that's good sign,

    • @ace-of-space
      @ace-of-space Před rokem +11

      When people say you change, it's because you are no longer doing what they want you to do.

  • @kay-412
    @kay-412 Před 11 měsíci +9

    i realized a few years ago that nobody knows the truth of who you are even if you tell them, and that’s fine. it seems to be how it works, and as we progress through time, we learn more about the depths of ourselves and understand ourselves more than anything else can.

  • @chloekhamxox
    @chloekhamxox Před rokem +68

    To me, we just connect with people on other levels. We are capable of adaptivity, and we enjoy an often very large range of things. So we connect with people on different things. That’s why they all had different descriptions of claire, some of her friends connect more on her wild side, it doesn’t mean she isn’t calm and doesn’t enjoy alone time, it’s just not the type of things they do together. I truly feel like depending on how long you’ve known someone and how intimate you are (doesn’t need to be sexual) the more you’ll show all your sides and I feel like the best friends you can have are the ones you could do anything with or talk about anything. Being versatile with the people you value most, to me, can bring a relationship to a whole new level. Often people go to different groups for different things, but when you have even just one friend you could do anything with, it feels like you have the world and you don’t feel the need to have a ton of connections with a ton of people.

    • @TayTheGodFather
      @TayTheGodFather Před rokem +1

      I love this comment

    • @Marina-nt6my
      @Marina-nt6my Před rokem +1

      !!!!!!!💗👍👍👍👍

    • @spud8378
      @spud8378 Před 10 měsíci

      This calmed me down after the existential dread I just went through watching this video, makeing me look at it in a different way thank you!!!

  • @nuwanda2702
    @nuwanda2702 Před rokem +391

    There's 4 people in you.
    The person who you really are
    The person who you want to be
    The person who you became to be
    The person who was created by other people's perspective

    • @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500
      @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Před rokem +5

      The last one is the strongest and most important, right 🗑️🤦

    • @melon9680
      @melon9680 Před rokem +1

      Id ask of anyone why they arnt genuine from the start, but then again i already know the answer. People fear rejection, but id ask, why do you place more value on the opinions and judgments of others above your own self. If you fear people rejecting you then you are not surrounding yourself with the right ones at all.

    • @ariellebabes6180
      @ariellebabes6180 Před rokem +2

      Ichikawa Hiroshi's concept of "the body as spirit" check it out

    • @theoreticaltoxic9058
      @theoreticaltoxic9058 Před rokem

      Funny thing is idk who really is me as a result

    • @papabird4425
      @papabird4425 Před rokem +4

      There's only one person inside of me. He's gay. I'm not.

  • @vaporwave2345
    @vaporwave2345 Před rokem +60

    You get multiple personalities! YOU get multiple personalities! EVERYONE GETS MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!

    • @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500
      @ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500 Před rokem

      Do you think, being able to relate oppositional opinion, views and ideas makes multipersonality? Like for example being and author writing a story and relating to different characters in a convincing way that readers assume thise fictional characters must be real? I mean most people have only their subjective view. And anyone else is either bullied or ridiculed or perceived from their level of perception.

  • @lelzielollerz5365
    @lelzielollerz5365 Před rokem +35

    I clicked on this video the same moment I got a text from a long-time friend. I can already tell I’mma cry or something because I’ve been so anxious about how people perceive me and it’s just so sweet how someone thought of me when I couldn’t see myself properly. Y’all go hug your friends

  • @joneyor6595
    @joneyor6595 Před rokem +12

    To me, we change literally every day, and we learn about ourselves all along.

  • @spiritualru2364
    @spiritualru2364 Před rokem +40

    There’s a version of me that still can’t believe Seattle didn’t run the ball

    • @jabu1439
      @jabu1439 Před rokem +3

      It took me a few years to convince them I am serious but my family has finally agreed to put these words on my headstone: They should have given Marshawn the ball.

    • @ezekielduran4386
      @ezekielduran4386 Před rokem +1

      Funniest comment ever. So off topic but extremely on point. Yet not really off topic. Perfect comment

    • @spiritualru2364
      @spiritualru2364 Před rokem +2

      @@ezekielduran4386 thank you sir 😎

    • @spiritualru2364
      @spiritualru2364 Před rokem +1

      @@jabu1439 Lmao 😂

  • @MentalPhilness
    @MentalPhilness Před rokem +24

    This video really helped me shift my perspective.
    I'm diagnosed BPD, and most days I have the littlest sense of who I am.
    This uncertainty causes me to worry about how other's preceive me. I can get so caught up in the things that I think are bad about me, I overanalyze everything I do, and I catch onto every little thing that can be preceived as 'bad'. I assume others see and think the same things. I've sabotaged so many friendships because I'm fully convinced they see the person I assume I am.
    I hear good things about me from other people, sometimes it's not what I want to hear, but they still see good in me. I find that so comforting and reassuring.

  • @daze.d5462
    @daze.d5462 Před rokem +23

    For people who knew me, they perceive me as actually friendly. But those who don't were really intimidated to approach me.

    • @Fido-vm9zi
      @Fido-vm9zi Před 7 měsíci

      Eminence Front .....
      That's a song. Hope I didn't spell it wrong, but might have.

  • @Leto85
    @Leto85 Před rokem +152

    This is brilliant. I really love this story. If you lose your memories you have to rebuild yourself from the perceptions that others have of you, which can often be misleading. Not even your own parents know everything about you, only when they are in your present, real life or virtual.
    I find it very interesting to think about how much memories influences your personality as you are now, here, today.
    Losing it might very well be the ultimate form of letting go. And starting anew.

    • @HipsterskyDrwal
      @HipsterskyDrwal Před rokem +1

      "not even your parents" yea maybe especially not your parents

    • @dolores9730
      @dolores9730 Před 3 měsíci

      I'm always anxious and afraid because of past traumas and bad memories. Wish I forgot everything and could build up a new personality, one that's not affected by the past

  • @ardentaxiom
    @ardentaxiom Před rokem +8

    “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” ~ Walt Whitman

  • @beatleme2
    @beatleme2 Před rokem +40

    In many ways, she got to visit her own death while alive, and how people felt about who she was... Thanks, Always love your content

  • @just.someperson
    @just.someperson Před rokem +13

    Can't say I have a lot of fears, but this genuinely scares me. Waking up one day and forgetting everything terrifies me.

  • @Fiffi852
    @Fiffi852 Před rokem +26

    I think often when people describe others, they do that in constrast to who they are themselves and to other people they know. For example I have a friend who does not like being drunk, never goes out clubbing, prefer to live in a calm and controlled environment and only have a few select friends. She thinks I’m a bit of a wild and crazy partygirl. But then there is someone else I know who has acually lived quite a wild life - they think I’m a person who likes rules and quiet stay-at-home days.

    • @Novastar.SaberCombat
      @Novastar.SaberCombat Před rokem +3

      PRECISELY. Personal perspective is completely biased unless everyone is attempting to corroborate FACTS or empirical evidence...
      "Bob attended school X for Y years" vs "Bob is pretty reserved. He doesn't like to ______ or ______".
      For example, for 40+ years, many people probably BELIEVED that they "knew" certain things about me because I created 600+ videos on this channel, and I was often filming myself doing X, Y, or Z. Does that mean people magically "know" me?! HEYYYLLL NO. No way, no can do, sister Christian.
      Absolutely no one "knows" who and what I am, and there isn't really anything that could ever change that. People can PRETEND or posture about it all they like, but they'd always be incorrect unless they'd cordoned themselves off to empirically verifiable evidence (such as my accomplishments).
      🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

  • @yukikowu5695
    @yukikowu5695 Před rokem +158

    I think the ability to shift our style and energy based on the audience is actually just high EQ. We learn how to shift as we develop our maturity. An example of someone who doesn’t have the ability to do this shift/switch is a person on the autism spectrum - they might tell their boss to “please be quiet” the same way that they might to a sibling, for example. In a way, that’s more “pure” than the neurotypical group that learns how to switch our tone/tune based on who we are with - we’re constantly suppressing or over enhancing certain characteristics about ourselves in order to blend in.

    • @yukikowu5695
      @yukikowu5695 Před rokem +22

      @@Cellocurve Right. In a way, most of us are presenting “false” versions of ourselves to a certain extent in order to be accepted by society. We might tell someone “oh no worries” when we are actually boiling with anger on the inside. Or we might act with absolute confidence walking into a meeting when we’re actually shitting ourselves with nervousness. It’s a matter of survival in life to NOT always be “authentic”.

    • @kodak3619
      @kodak3619 Před rokem +3

      A while ago I would "shift" my personality around based on who was with me it occurred without a thought subconsciously I would say but I had noticed and I didn't like that it felt kinda wrong, but I couldn't control it.
      Nowadays tho it seems like it disappeared? I think it connects to why I feel so drained lately

    • @NowhereMan7
      @NowhereMan7 Před 11 měsíci +6

      "Boss" means the one that tells you what to do in your job. You would have to be very high on the spectrum to literally try to boss your boss around. I dont think someone that autistic would have a job. Everyone acts differently around different people. Even autistic people are going to have different personalities when they are with the Grandma to when they are with their friends at school, or around their siblings, or at work. Thats just obvious. They arent robots or somethings geez.

    • @noracola5285
      @noracola5285 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@NowhereMan7 Right! My partner is the only person I can think of who might fit that description & (surprise!) she is unable to work at any job.

    • @whatsfordinner62
      @whatsfordinner62 Před 11 měsíci +7

      I have high functioning autism and my best friend has low functioning autism. I can mask my autism and alter my personality and the way I behave around different people, whereas my friend cannot. He's had a steady job longer than I have (the work I do is based on client availability whereas he works at a grocery store.)
      Autism doesn't automatically mean you can't function at a job. Everyone has a particular kind of work that they can excel at. Its frustrating that people still generalize autistic people as all being non functional, non capable robots.
      Some autistic people cannot change how they react to anyone and we shouldn't shame people or look down on them for traits they cannot at all fully control.

  • @fatcapital88
    @fatcapital88 Před rokem +21

    I feel like all of your videos are preparing me to wake from a coma. Getting me ready for what's on the other side of something confusing.
    It's a compliment I think. Thanks.

  • @katemcmillen1977
    @katemcmillen1977 Před rokem +23

    I don’t remember the details of this, so I apologize, but in my psychology program they told us about a research study where a participant was asked to describe themselves, and 5 people who were close to them (friends, family, partner etc) were asked to describe the person. Basically, the results were that there was some overlap between the descriptions, but the 5 people usually had more varied and in-depth observations - they saw things that the participants appeared to have blind spots about. I remember my professor saying, “If you really want to know who you are, ask the five people who are closest to you. They’ll be more accurate because we all fail to really see ourselves.” It’s stuck with me. Though I do think that we all have inner aspects of ourselves that others don’t see, for one reason or another.

    • @Novastar.SaberCombat
      @Novastar.SaberCombat Před rokem +1

      Sadly, that's completely incorrect. No sentient being truly understands another. Ever. And although it's true that a person can lie to THEMSELVES about who and what they are, if they're actually being factual and truthful (enlightened with the self) about themselves, then their understanding and interpretation OF themselves is not only superior, it's accurate.
      The only moment where others might "know someone better than they know themselves" simply has to do with whether that other person is lying to their own self! A weird conundrum. BUT... even then, it's entirely possible that OTHERS will have a distorted view about the facts regarding others... by default. In other words, your interpretation of another person is biased and limited by the information which you THINK you know about them. But it *might not be factual and correct*.
      Again, it's a conundrum, but the idea that other people know you better than you know yourself is empirically incorrect. And that holds true even if the person THEMSELVES isn't being truthful with their self.
      #complex
      #criticalthinking

  • @stephenchakos7747
    @stephenchakos7747 Před 10 měsíci +4

    As a young man, (I am 65 now), I was an actor. At the time I became an actor because I did not like the person in the mirror. I then found, after time, that I somehow lost who I was inside my mind. When I stopped acting and got married I became someone different, more serious, more aware. Time changed my perception of myself. Family, love and social activities are the wheels that move me forward. My wish is that everyone could understand how important this is for life, and the world would be a better place.

  • @stephenj.rushford7292
    @stephenj.rushford7292 Před rokem +19

    “We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality; we are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing. And being nothing, you are everything. That is all.” -Kalu Rinpoche

  • @Name_Lessness
    @Name_Lessness Před rokem +44

    If I was in this situation I wouldn't ask who I am or was. It'd be a blessing in disguise to let that all go. I had schizophrenic episodes where everyone seemed to be replaced by a clone or the memories, mannerisms, emotions or names didn't match up with their words, faces or intents. Sometimes, mine didn't either. So I used COVID lock down to isolate and start over. COVID seemed to be a reality check or dimensional shift it seems.

  • @vorpal22
    @vorpal22 Před rokem +16

    It is always an interesting situation when you have someone very close to you and they introduce you to another person important in their life. The way they act is like a whole other window into their personality that you might never have otherwise gotten to see.

    • @Novastar.SaberCombat
      @Novastar.SaberCombat Před rokem

      In the 40+ years of my existence on Earth, I can barely recall when anyone ever introduced me to others with more than "this is [NAME], my friend/boyfriend/coworker/boss/instructor, etc.". Had they introduced me with incorrect information, I'd have been VERY quick to correct them and would have insisted that they stick to the facts. 💪😎✌️
      Fortunately, I don't have to worry about that kind of thing anymore.
      🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

    • @vorpal22
      @vorpal22 Před rokem +3

      @@Novastar.SaberCombat I don't think I necessarily got my point across correctly. What I'm saying is that people tend to act differently depending on who they are around, and we aren't even always aware of it, so when someone you, say, usually hang out with just the two of you is introduced to person P that you also hang out with, there's a fair chance they will see a whole different facet of your personality that they weren't expecting.
      I was thinking about this the other day when I introduced my long-distance partner to a friend I've had for about 20 years and I was acutely aware that the way I acted around that friend was quite different than how I acted when around just my partner.
      I didn't mean anything about any incorrect information.

    • @smollilbean
      @smollilbean Před rokem +1

      I saw my bestfriend acting like a whole different person with her boyfriend, it wasn't necessarily a negative experience. But i think it opened my eyes to people and behaviours.

  • @eyeamme1917
    @eyeamme1917 Před rokem +44

    I was fascinated to learn that just about everyone in high school thought I was a good girl type. Completely floored me because I was wild af and my close friends and whatever random boys we were hanging out with knew that. Even my family knew that 😆

    • @KeySnow
      @KeySnow Před rokem +7

      On the opposite I always thought people perceived me as a nerd/loser type but realized sometime during high school that people who met/saw me didn't see me like that at all. I think largely because I liked dressing up and makeup and tended to do things by myself which people took more as 'oh she thinks she's rebellious' or something instead of oh she's antisocial.

    • @smollilbean
      @smollilbean Před rokem +3

      That's literally me. Except only my brain knows that I'm not really a good girl type. I have a really hard time opening up to people (that I'm close to) in general. I'm not sure how to explain it :/ I'm trying my best to stop acting aloof and open myself to more people.

  • @Animegeek770
    @Animegeek770 Před rokem +32

    this could also be a classic case of everyone interpreting the same person differently not a show or slip of different masks. you're gonna act differently around certain people, its normal. its not about being fake but being tame enough around who you're with

    • @Animegeek770
      @Animegeek770 Před rokem +1

      @Morgan Hyde or self aware.

    • @Animegeek770
      @Animegeek770 Před rokem +1

      @Morgan Hyde so which is the fake. Being a cordial citizen or acting out for to be different. Fake is being not true to one self witnesses or not. The fear of loss of status is still being self aware. That's contents of character. I'm saying you're wrong, but your definition of fake is wrong. Because if that was the case you would agree everyone is fake. It's an unfair narrative to push in any means.

    • @Animegeek770
      @Animegeek770 Před rokem

      My phone suck. I'm not saying you're wrong is what I meant

    • @Animegeek770
      @Animegeek770 Před rokem

      @Morgan Hyde exactly. It's a subject that's way more than just a black or white answer. You can be yourself and act differently towards others. Like how you treat a baby to a best friend. While its stark contrasts it's there. Now there are people who will act 100 percent unabashed no filter themselves. But that would also be a content of character.

    • @Animegeek770
      @Animegeek770 Před rokem

      If you choose the parts of you that's seen, that's not being fake, that's just shielding character. Some peeps dont need to know all of you, ya know

  • @jonathangillette215
    @jonathangillette215 Před rokem +13

    You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to switch up your whole personality for anyone, just ways you treat situations differently.

  • @ary9344
    @ary9344 Před rokem +7

    It's because every person has idea of you based on their own moral compass that they get from their childhood. I love this one quote from the book four agreements:
    "even when someone shot you in the head, don't take it personally."
    Because their opinion is based on values they received in their childhood.

  • @sky.2955
    @sky.2955 Před rokem +6

    Exactly!
    I will tell you about me
    My friends sees me as a very outgoing person with amazing sense of humor who never shuts up.
    But my relatives describes me as very shy and silent.

  • @mugabevictor2012
    @mugabevictor2012 Před rokem +55

    Reminds me of my graduation party. I found myself feeling anxious and stammered a lot that day. I assume it was because for the first time my friends and family were interacting. Pretty much stayed away from the subsections. The experience ne Made me feel like a hypocrite. Living 2 separate lives that I couldn't stand being close to eachother left me feeling sick of myself

    • @optimisticandpessimistic4785
      @optimisticandpessimistic4785 Před rokem +6

      We all are like that…

    • @Recouplet
      @Recouplet Před rokem +9

      It's understandable though. I think it's fair to act very differently to people with power over you than those who are walking the same path you are.

    • @smollilbean
      @smollilbean Před rokem +6

      I have never in my life related to something on the same level as this. Thank you for making me realise that I'm not alone and I'm not the only wierdo that feels like two different people when I'm with family vs people my age that I'm close to. I definitely think I'm pretending more when I'm with family, specially extended family and they don't know the real me ( bc of fear of judgement from them)

  • @adjacentemuu1148
    @adjacentemuu1148 Před rokem +16

    Its so weird to me that my family perceives me as this sort of a feisty strong head kid Whereas my friends see me as quiet and helpful and as sort of a mom of the friend group, while my teachers see me as a hardworking kid and my relatives think im reserved and quiet childish. Sometimes it bothers me that i dont know exactly who i am but ig its just a part of life. Our personality doesnt just comprise of this single fixed layer, it has dimensions and it moulds according to the type of people we choose to surround ourselves with.

  • @lukalot_
    @lukalot_ Před rokem +36

    People spin their own narratives about you, and you are a different kind of person in different contexts. I work two jobs, 5 days a week for my main and the two weekend days at the cafe. My main job sort of has this conception that I had a story that lead me to the company, I tend to agree. I'm a great fit for the company and it's my passion. There's a story that each person has in their minds about who each other person is, and as they share it with each other there's some convergence between them. At the cafe I work at on weekends for some extra cash and as a fun activity, the owner seems to view my story as beginning and ending in the cafe. I was very clumsy and bad when I started working there several months ago, I'm not much of a retail working person, and as I've improved, they seem to think that I have actually generally become a better person. It's as if to them my life story began in the cafe and they have watched me grow up. To me this is absurd (and a little bit condescending really), but I don't go out of my way to change the narrative, because it seems to be an endearing idea to them. And anyway, in retail & coffee barista terms, I sort of have become a different and better person.

    • @ethanrobertson560
      @ethanrobertson560 Před rokem +3

      Hahah this is awesome I felt the same way somewhere I worked this past year also in the food service industry, a pizza shop. Just for context I didn’t need the job it was something to keep me busy while I searched for a real job. But it seems like everybody’s opinion of you at a place like that is almost directly related to you working there, they haven’t even the slightest clue who you are outside of work but I learned eventually your real self shows through after enough time just like how you grew into your role at the cafe, but whether that’s a good or bad thing is up to you.

  • @christiansanderson7397
    @christiansanderson7397 Před rokem +23

    Yeah, everyone gets to see a different side of us. Having a different perception of us based off our experiences together. Some also altered by their own personality. The most important person to impress is yourself, because you relate who you are based off your past experiences and how you think you would act. So I believe the day to day little things are the big things. I also feel it’s important to pursue admirable things and things you deem valuable, like your time and health. Even if no one is watching you should be genuine with you because are watching yourself. The relationship with yourself is very important, no one cares about it as much as you do! Treat yourself like someone you care about

  • @khayalakhemadlala335
    @khayalakhemadlala335 Před rokem +28

    It's always a moment of joy and introspection when you upload.

  • @nakynie463
    @nakynie463 Před rokem +5

    I can't even describe myself, this is somehow how I feel

  • @HeatherHolt
    @HeatherHolt Před rokem +7

    It’s like when people die and everyone says how great they were or how nice they were when really they don’t want to tell the truth about their true self and only want to remember the good things.

  • @cloudyview
    @cloudyview Před rokem +12

    I feel like some commenters might be misunderstanding - it's not that she was actively doing anything different in each of these people lives, it's that their perception colored how they saw her actions. Their own feelings and past made them see the same events differently. But none of them could ever truly know why she was taking any of those actions. Each person that knows us will have a different version in their head. Yes, we may act differently around different people, but how they think of us is not something we have any control over. For better or worse, no one truly knows anyone, we just have our version of them that lives only in our heads.

  • @arnavmourya676
    @arnavmourya676 Před 10 měsíci +3

    Everyone look at us as they are and they only focus on things that feels relatable to them. I think because of that everyone tells different things about her .

  • @bigchungus459
    @bigchungus459 Před rokem +5

    It's kind of freeing, knowing that I'm not defined like a solid object and have the ability to change how I'm being perceived

  • @JUMALATION1
    @JUMALATION1 Před rokem +15

    I was expecting a dry scientific approach but I got very invested. I had the same feeling listening to this as during my wedding, when both my parents and in-laws gave a speech about my personality. I was like "woah, do they really think that about me?" (The general message was positive so no slander, but really weird to hear someone else describe you)

  • @Bendilin
    @Bendilin Před rokem +17

    I always take this channel's videos into consideration but never dive too deep to not get lost in thought. But this one truly hit me. No one will ever know who I am, and I can never truly know you.

    • @melon9680
      @melon9680 Před rokem

      Try a channel called Eternalised

  • @LLNYC
    @LLNYC Před rokem +17

    There’s a book that describes how there are thousands of versions of us that exist in the world - everyone we meet sees a fraction of us and through their own lens of life define us in a way that makes sense to their life narrative. We constantly are changing so the many versions of us that exist are real or were real at one point in time - but we are energy in motion - ever changing and undefinable in absolutes.

  • @Badda_Bing
    @Badda_Bing Před 10 měsíci +2

    I think about this often. How various people in your life know you as a totally different person. For example I have friends/acquaintances in my life that only know me as outgoing because I only ever see them when I'm out drinking at a bar or club.
    Then there's close friends that know me as having loads of banter and dark sense of humour, because I'm comfortable around them.
    There's people that think I'm very stoic and reserved because I only know them from certain situations.
    Then there's people who would probably think I'm very introverted, quiet and possibly boring, because they've only see that side of me.
    When in reality I'm all of those things. And maybe only 2-3 people on Earth have seen every aspect.

  • @emisunflowers
    @emisunflowers Před rokem +4

    I remember at one point as a teenager I realized the gravity of the fact that people will never see me the way I see myself. It caused me a lot of upset at the time, but I've since tried to bring those as close together as I can.

  • @glenbotzong7545
    @glenbotzong7545 Před rokem +5

    A beautiful example of how people are perceived by all of the people they are a part of

  • @suebuddha8849
    @suebuddha8849 Před rokem +9

    I had this exact experience, without the coma. I was recently trying to help my mother with a problem. We were not communicating well, and at one point she said "you need to be kinder" Later the same week I was helping an acquaintance, who was asking for a favor. Out of nowhere she blurts out "you are so kind" I almost started laughing..am I kind, or not? 🤔

    • @anukriti7511
      @anukriti7511 Před rokem +4

      Maybe it's selective. Or situational. Or both.

  • @HaloHighlightz
    @HaloHighlightz Před rokem +29

    Dang, everyone was there, but had completely different experiences. She’s multifaceted 💎❤
    I was in a coma for two weeks, and I had to relearn everything, including how to walk, hold my bladder and how to write. That was over 10 years ago, and the memories from before that event have a different quality, like how movie memories are glossy and slightly unfocused. The memories from right before and right after never came back through. I would say that from what I remember and what people have told me, I have become a completely different person.

  • @CupcakesCampbellYT
    @CupcakesCampbellYT Před rokem +8

    We're the interpretation of others. All we can ever be is ourselves. They will always perceive us as if they're perceiving themselves. Stay beautiful. Thank you!

    • @Fido-vm9zi
      @Fido-vm9zi Před 7 měsíci

      I just got that song Audioslave song in my head lyrics say to be yourself is all that you can do....

  • @TheBackPackingPsychonaut
    @TheBackPackingPsychonaut Před rokem +10

    every video of yours is incredibly thought provoking, philosophy can often be really difficult to read and comprehend so i apricate you posting content that's easy to follow but intellectually and emotionally stimulating at the same time. one of my favourite youtubers for sure

  • @behroozshahdaftar4209
    @behroozshahdaftar4209 Před rokem +4

    Perhaps one message of this video is that other people's perception of us will always be limited and these limitations shouldn't become our self-definition, self-perception.

  • @hyelicious
    @hyelicious Před rokem +6

    i feel like everyone behaves differently with different people. i'm very different when i'm with my family, friends, boyfriend, colleagues. my boss said that i'm too passive but my mum calls me a tiger. my colleagues from an old workplace said i looked cold and hard to approach but my friends say i laugh a lot, etc. all very contradicting hahah

  • @scottytissue73
    @scottytissue73 Před rokem +2

    You'd be even more surprised how happy you are when you voluntarily isolate from people's perceptions.

  • @jackxu6523
    @jackxu6523 Před rokem +9

    This made me think people around me may see me completely differently although I’m the same person, I might show the different side of me to different ppl without realizing it. And all the different side of me make up who am I, but I’m never the same to others.

  • @ariellebabes6180
    @ariellebabes6180 Před rokem +16

    You guys have incredible ways of telling stories and making people think. Thank you for this video.

  • @Jax1317
    @Jax1317 Před rokem +2

    A large portion of the comments are mentioning the conscious or subconscious changes in behavior of people around specific people or events. Personality adaption. This particular video isn’t about that directly but an overall generalization showing that “reality” is different between people. A literal example of perception. Even if an event happens directly in front of 3 people they may or may not have the same perception of the event. This example is great because all facets of “perception” can be explored and discussed. How your mother views her daughter, how her sister understands her sister. How the people of varying levels of closeness understand and “perceive” the individual. These thought exercises are lovely. Love this channel.

  • @ANIMAL.LOVERS.DONT.EAT.ANIMALS

    Everything is perceived in relation to the self. Others can only compare you to themselves. It's like color-every color is perceived according to its surroundings and context. I think this is why opinions and observations are often mistaken for projection.
    Really love this video

  • @Emargonaut
    @Emargonaut Před rokem +3

    Excellent video. Normally we perceive ourselves in a completely different way than our relatives and friends do, but we think everyone sees us the the same way.

  • @bharathirajathamizhselvan856

    "Who AM I" is an evolving answer day by day in everyone's life. Answer to it depends on self values, people around you and environment. The answer to this question comes from our-self really matters than what others think about you. So it doesn't matter on how many different versions of answers you get it from others for this question. Every mind think differently according to their thinking ability, observation skill , period of time they spent and situation around you. This is the way everyone evaluate and have image on others. So no need to worry at all. But how the mechanisms and people around you treat it really matters. Because It will impact your morale and leads to reevaluate yourself and ends up in revisiting and correcting the answer to ""Who Am I?"

  • @ocmetals4675
    @ocmetals4675 Před rokem +3

    Interesting. How people perceive us is a mix of their interpretation of our behavior in the situations they encounter us in and what they project on to us about themselves. Fascinating.

  • @Jake.r.reinhart
    @Jake.r.reinhart Před 9 měsíci +2

    It’s crazy to think that every relationship we have, no matter how close on not, is completely unique. Your co-worker you talk to a couple times a week knows you and experiences you like nobody else. That’s a crazy idea.

  • @rafaelperalta1676
    @rafaelperalta1676 Před rokem +11

    It's awkward when a friend witnesses your 7th hidden personality.

  • @yellurr
    @yellurr Před 9 měsíci +3

    i think how people perceive you is a reflection of they are and not exactly who you are.

  • @Nina_banana
    @Nina_banana Před 9 měsíci +1

    It’s very important that our inner circle are composed of people who always believe and see the best in us. It’s just unfortunate when those people who only sees the worst in us are our own family.

  • @circlesevendivination4928

    I really loved this video, in the past I thought it scary, like the mom must’ve felt, about losing my identity, but now I’m thinking about who I could be if I got a kind of restart on myself. Seeing how so many people can see me in drastically different ways, I can take that to my advantage to be who I want to be, and probably change completely overall

    • @mellovestodraw
      @mellovestodraw Před rokem +1

      You don’t need to go in a coma for this trust me, change now, people change their preferences and personality’s more than once in their lifetime. When i was 14-15 years old one of my very old friend left me because her excuse was that I “changed” not in a good way but a “weird” way. I left her since then, around 16-17 years old I gave her a second chance once she added me on social media I’ve seen she hasn’t changed at all she was set with her words so since then I blocked her. When she said those stuff to me at that time I knew her for 4 years, I am the time of person who can’t easily forget about a long friendship that broke off so fast for a stupid reasoning. I’ve learnt to forget about her and couple other old friends too now I’m trying to slowly distant myself from another friend of mine till this day because I’ve seen that she’s not worthy my time.

    • @ellaoeurr9202
      @ellaoeurr9202 Před rokem

      E

    • @rushmoom42069
      @rushmoom42069 Před 10 měsíci

      how would you know that you changed? i wonder if people who went through memory loss resort back to the person they once were. an inevitable personality for that person..?

    • @circlesevendivination4928
      @circlesevendivination4928 Před 10 měsíci

      @@rushmoom42069 that is entirely possible. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

  • @_yussra
    @_yussra Před rokem +7

    Everyone has their own set of values and standards that they perceive you upon.
    Also we often try to fit what the other person is like and tune ourselves to that. I don’t know many people who keep being themselves, without any change, around everyone.

    • @kittenmimi5326
      @kittenmimi5326 Před rokem +1

      Well I know that karens keep being themselves around everyone

  • @sunnysof4902
    @sunnysof4902 Před rokem +4

    I think this who experience kind of reveals how we are not our pasts, we are just what we are now. The whole time people were telling her who she WAS as though that is still who she IS. It doesn’t matter if we lose our memory or not- we just aren’t the past. The past only has an influence if you LET your MEMORIES have an influence.This is just what I took away 😅

  • @rush.eve3
    @rush.eve3 Před rokem +2

    you can never know yourself compleately cuz you you can always prove yourself that you're way more different,
    because people tend to improve and learn from their experiences✨

  • @exodusn2233
    @exodusn2233 Před rokem +2

    I like how this channel uses stories to explain concepts rather than just talking at the viewers. It's very interesting.

  • @Bubblegob
    @Bubblegob Před rokem +4

    That's a powerful story. It's scary to think that even with the testimony of the people closest to you it ends up being no more useful than a horoscope or a cheap personnality test.

  • @rustincole_w1339
    @rustincole_w1339 Před rokem +5

    The goal with your Soul should be consistency in character and mindset.

  • @bonkkus
    @bonkkus Před 9 měsíci +1

    As a writer when you make characters it's actually good to have traits that contradict each other. It makes your character realistic.

  • @Frank-xo5he
    @Frank-xo5he Před 10 měsíci +1

    This really puts another layer on one of my favorite quotes.
    “I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am”
    Charles Horton Cooley