It’s amazing to find out someone else has the same problems I do 😢 I tend to fantasize in my head a lot, only for disappointment. I have extreme anxiety, even though some times I don’t acknowledge the fact that I suffer from anxiety. I give myself to much of a high exception in school, as well. I want only A’ s but I know at some point I, going to have to accept a b or c, and give myself a break. I don’t have to be be doing something to feel like I did something achieving for the day. I have to give myself a break, and relax.😊
Learn more about religion especially Islam, as it tells you about how we can cope with those typical disappointments of our perfect scenario expectations. The most important one is; Trusting Allah, as He is The One who has planned our future and in that way you can put your trust in Him to feel less worry and anxiety. Trust me man I've been there, feeling like a dissapintmant and wishing I could change my previous actions and but that never happened. Btw Allah is God but Arabic. Maybe this is better :) chatgpt wrote this one it's important to remember that everything happens according to Allah's will and plan. Sometimes things may not go as we hope or expect, but it's important to have faith and trust in Allah's plan for us. Whenever you feel anxious or worried about the future, turn to Allah in prayer and seek comfort in the belief that Allah is always with you and will guide you through difficult times. Remember that Allah's plan is always better than anything we could plan for ourselves, and have faith that everything will work out according to Allah's plan.
I get constantly feeling let down. As a fellow romanticizer, my attachment issues do bring up daily problems for me. Hearing you mirror my recent thoughts about how to be alone has ironically shown me I'm not as alone as I think I am. Working on myself, for myself, has always been a daunting idea for me. Although, watching you do it, and making it look easy, motivates me to keep working toward that emotional independence. Nice video.
Try to hang out with older men. Every man loves to romanticize, but you need a bigger purpose. A weird thing about life is that the more you want women, the less you tend to have good results with them. Focus on yourself, your purpose, and ask a girl out here and there, but don't stress it. As you hang around older men, this and other advice will be plentiful.
I've noticed that writing in a personal journal before going to bed really helps me a lot with winding down and also clearing my head out and getting some of my thoughts and emotions together. I would personally recommend doing it, but the life you live is yours and only yours. "Do what you want to do because life is too short not to" - Me I guess because I couldn't find this exact quote online lol
as a student athlete who doesn't compete for the school and not have the facilities and support from a D1 school but also perform at a division 1 level, I have to admit that it's hard. I don't have friend(s) that I hang out with, and nobody ever invites me to do anything. It's very easy to fall into the insecurity abyss. I am trying my best to make the best out of my last semester of college, after being discriminated against and treated unfairly as a high-performing non-varsity student athlete. It's a big life lesson that we have to learn sooner or later I guess. I have never hung out with anyone outside of campus for more than an hour. I used to be super jealous of the life that a lot of other people have. Now that I'm kind of unsensitized to everything around me, and I've been pushed to a breaking point, combined with my drop of performance on the track, I'm taking a break, doing whatever I feel like doing, and not doing whatever I don't feel like doing for a month. I don't care if my grades drop, I don't care if I spend too much money, I don't care if I don't eat enough this month, but surprisingly I'm doing better, I've been getting around 11 hours of sleep everyday, staying in bed or in my room for most of the day, eat when I feel dizzy, etc. My grades aren't dropping, I'm not actually spending more money, and I'm not actually feeling as bad as I used to feel. I think sometimes we just have to step back and just say fuck it, and let your body autopilot (but in a different way), and see what happens. I can't wait for the outdoor season and beating everyone else on the varsity team in the same race (for the like 4th time lol).
I’m so glad you’re bringing more awareness to attachment styles and how it affects our lives and relationships, as a psychologist I found it so interesting and I know it would help so many people if they knew why they were doing the things that they do. Why they get hurt over and over again. Also, I’m also a fellow anxious style so I know exactly how you feel. I’m working on it though
@steph Sorry for the late reply! I would say it's both. Having awareness that the reasons you either push people away once they get too close, self sabotage or reject genuine affection may be to do with your insecure attachment style really helps you know when to stop and reflect then act differently. It can also help you in terms of realising why you find emotionally unavailable people so attractive/why you idolise people who don't appreciate you or show that much availability towards you. (Not saying this is you but many anxious types are drawn to people who pull away and act distant) I don't know if you've ever heard of the ick when you have a crush on someone, but as soon as they like you back, you get put off them so quickly? That's actually because anxious types fear commitment. Because once someone is available/likes them back, it means they have the opportunity to now date. Which puts them in a vulnerable position of getting hurt! So it scares them and translates to an ick. Liking a crush who doesn't like you back is way more desirable deep down because you know you're safe in that area and you get addicted to the drug like highs and lows of 'the chase'. In terms of psychology, these are formed with upbringing... An anxious attachment really boils down to the core fear of abandonment. We're scared that people will leave us, so we leave them first. Or we're scared that people would leave us so we people please others into staying or need constant reassurance from the anxiety that one day they'll wake up and decide to drop us. (Then seeming clingy). This goes the same for both relationships and friendships. The key to overcoming it always boils down to self-love and acceptance. Also, tell your inner self that it's okay if people leave because you'll always have you. And telling ourselves that we deserve the love that others give to us (easier said than done). It takes a lot of insightfulness to realise when your actions are caused by your attachment style being triggered. It also takes a lot of self reflection. ALSO! Do the opposite of what you REALLY want to do. You feel like asking your friend/bf reassurance that they love you for the millionth time? Reassure yourself instead (its okay, they DO love you). Feel like running away from commitment with a good man in case things are too good to be true? Face your fears and go for it! I know it's scary, but doing it scared will help train yourself to face your core fears and inevitably change your attachment style from an insecure one to a secure one! Hope this helps!
i can’t help but to cry as i’m watching this masterpiece because you’re literally just like me and i feel so seen now. idky i expected to get to college and make friends so fast knowing ive never had a friend all my life. it’s so frustrating but fantasizing is the only thing that keeps me going
hearing that someone else is going through similar things is so encouraging, it's like duh ofc i'm not the only one but actively hearing it is somehow so freeing. anyways, thanks for the advice and for making this video!!
Very interesting about fantasizing! I always fantasize about expectations every day, but I don't really experience feelings of disappointment. If anything, it helps me realize that these things are within reach as long as they are under our control. Accepting when things don't go as planned gives us a chance to learn and adapt to discomfort, even if it was not our intention. Good luck in college and keep pushing c:
please keep making these videos. Not only they are relatable but they really inspire me to keep going and you really are making a difference in my life
this video made me feel understood for the first time in weeks, thank you so much. Been suffering so much with my anxious attachment and trying to find a way to finally get out of this dark place and start healing. You gained a subscriber, thank u
Thank you for this video. I’ve been on my own journey this semester as a college student after struggling to love myself and really not liking my actions. My routine of good sleep, making my bed, going to the gym, and reading when I was outside of classes helped me find new love in myself and enjoy every day.
being single around all my couple friends feels amazing honestly , all the time i save putting that into my work right now matters most , relationships can always wait for later
Hi girll. I just wanted to say that I love your videos and we can see how much time and effort you put into them. You inspire me to be productive and be the best version of myself, so I just wanted to say thank you. Also I love listening to your voice because it just makes so calm:))
YO I've been doing a very similar thing to yours for the past 3/4 weeks where I'm isolating myself, and making good habits and forming small routines, leading into a bigger, branched out simpler day routine, doing uni and everything else. Enjoyed your video!
I’ve recently learned about attachment styles in my social psychology class and had a similar experience where I felt like some part of me was explained for the first time. I learned that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style, where I’m anxious in my relationships and want to get closer to people but I’m also fearful of intimacy. Definitely is something that will take time to work through. Thanks for sharing this!
Fun hack for cutting onions, wet a paper towel and place it beside the cutting board. Apparently the onion is attracted to moisture which is why it goes to your eyes, so the paper towel helps a bunch!
this is the first video i have watched of this channel and i cried because it recommended me on the right time i have lately being soo ignored by my college trio they just makes me feel so left out and i was expecting soo much from them and it just hurt now i really want to grow now for myself and detach from people thanks i hope u post another videos of your self growth journey because it just inspire me to be best version of yourself . Thanks!
i ALWAYS to fantasize and don't live in the present 😭 i used to let it consume me but as of recently i been forcing myself to enjoy the moment and be IN the moment. doing tasks i like alone and learning to accommodate myself has helped a lot! i really enjoyed your video, just subscribed 🖤
4:45 I have this same issue with fantasizing and expectations. I've recently had a breakthrough on this but it will be a constant practice to stay in the present. It's beautiful to have an open, positive mindset and embrace the uniqueness of each day and each version (good and bad) of yourself. Acceptance and self-trust do so much good for securing the mind/body/soul.
I really think that the first step should be to accept such a thing about yourself, or else I guess you're pretty much just left with negative feelings towards it and it gets harder for you to face it head on. Once you've accepted it and you've told yourself that you want to change that about yourself know that you're doing it for yourself and then just slowly start moving towards the direction of developing and evolving yourself and trying to act and control more of your inside thoughts and making them make you feel secure about you and your future. hope this helps :) you got this IA
omg your videos are so cinematic and satisfying to watch. and this video was filled with so many key life lessons - it really gave me another perspective to think about life 🥰😍
Especially the parts about fantasizing instead of being in the moment, personally the way i deal with that issue is the fantasize about further and further in the future rather than fantasizing about what happens in the coming weeks or months. I feel like fantasizing about the far away future has actually benefited me recently, it's helped motivate me to do things and experience things that I would otherwise not do or experience. I also relate to alot of other things too but i can't put it into words.
I have disorganized attachment style and what I noticed helps me is to let the person that I'm with tell me when they're leaving me like if they're going to the restroom or the kitchen or going to get something from the room or throw away the trash to be like " I'll be right back I'm gonna throw away the trash " or I'm going to the kitchen I'll be right back " or if I'm really terrified of feeling abandoned ill ask if I can go with them wherever they're going! (Example the kitchen or bedroom)That way I don't feel abandoned bc I know where they're going and I know that they're coming back!
Four attachment styles, three have been popularized because they came out with the original research, but a forth was added a few years later and is just as important as the first three: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized.
First semester in university away from home it really is lonely, and depressing but it gives time to improve and explore on what you want to do with your life. Take advantage of this abundance of time because it will never come back.
How do you become a secure person? Personally, I don't think a "secure person" actually exists, at least not a perfectly secure person. We all have our own flaws, it is what makes us unique; humans are inherently imperfect. In my opinion, the better question to ask is: how do I become a more secure person? This is something that I have struggled with since I had that moment where I was like "wow I'm a conscious, living thing" - classic fun time moment. I have shifted through various coping styles throughout the years, but one common theme that has persisted is that you can only depend on yourself to become more secure. I agree that other individuals do contribute to our security and foster resilience and such, but we really gotta understand ourselves first. Some things that have helped: -therapy therapy therapy -don't rely on drugs/escapism -time spent in solitude -exercise -sun -BEING OFF SOCIAL MEDIA (have never felt better) -journaling -working through childhood trauma -not internalizing or projecting onto-self (learned through therapy) -therapy again, jesus just everybody go to therapy
omg haha for some reason, my tiktok feed is showing a lot of videos related to "Anxious attachment" and now I'm seeing your video talking about the same thing. It's freaky because I have someone in mind rn and just like you, I've been fantasizing about all the potential problems before it even occur. HAHAHA Having this kind of feeling is emotionally draining. I hope and pray that people who are experiencing this find the right people to wash these anxieties away.
Hey there...and GM. The glow on your face looks really amazing. The benefits of working out regularly does help to purge toxins and lower stress - such an impressive effort on your end - bravo! Also, it does appear that you've found a new gear - one that gives you both balance and structure each day - which is another awesome achievement. Great looking outfits as well - very well assembled, each highlighting just how beautiful and athletic you really are. And you continue to rock that NY cap so well - a cool yet subtle way that gives your outfits that extra 'pop.' With that, I'm somewhat concerned about your knee band aids. I hope nothing serious happened?? Sure, I know you're capable of taking care of yourself, but please don't hesitate to see a doctor if necessary. And try to change them daily until the healing is near complete. Regarding the book you referenced, yes it does sound very interesting. I'm sure I can find it on Prime or perhaps at the local village bookstore here. As far as attachment types, they're probably (I would think) in some ways are linked to one's own maturation and personal growth - both of which can be defined using a number of everyday examples. With that, I honestly believe that being mercurial (on some occasions) is just part of us doing what we feel is best. Sure, sometimes things don't develop fully as we plan or envision them (for all sorts of reasons big and small) but when that happens, we simply reengage and give it another try. I've learned that some things in life (truly special things) are genuinely worth the added time and effort. As far as being comfortably alone, technically you're never really alone because you 'always' have (nearest to you) the one person whom you can trust the most - which is yourself - to include those of us who love and care for you no matter the situation., Please remain safest, and as always, thanks much for sharing. B looking forward to reading the book😎
So relatable, crazy daydreamer here🙋♂I never thought about the fear of future uncertainty and lack of control might be one of the reasons I tend to fantazise, thanks. I've always interpreted it like an attempt to escape present dissatisfactionm maybe that's why I always think of something I don't have. Lately I found building a routine, and trying to be as productive as possible, a powerful weapon to reconnect to the present, but there are times when I'm left with nothing to do but daydream. I'm in college too, so gotta stay focused!
Two years ago, i tried college near my hometown so i didn't have to move out, but it didn't work out because of a series of factors and i drop out. In my year and half there i wasn't able to make one single friend and that broke me, i can't say it's not one of the reasons i drop out. Six months ago i tried to apply for a new college away from my hometown, thinking to myself that maybe living alone and far away from anybody i knew, would be a chance to start new and make friends. Well, what i can say is that now i'm all alone in a new city and i don't know what to do. I have been feeling depressed lately and not motivated to do anything. Truth is i just wanna have someone in my life that cares about me, but i can't find nobody that does. Loneliness sucks, i hope nobody else is going through what i'm going through right now
Lindsiann I need u to make a podcast bc everything u talk about resignates with everything I think on the daily and I need more insight and perspective.
it was soo aesthetically pleasing i was just sitting and looking at it like its the most beautiful thing that i was. your work style and creativity is amazing please dont stop making vidoes.
the future is a consequence of the present. if you learn to live in the here and now and give your best in a given moment or situation you won't worry about how it will turn out or in other words if you give your best now you won't worry about the future. much love
thank you for sharing your experience of reading the book Attached. I read that book as well and very unfortunately my attachment style is anxious-avoidant. It's really hard for me to find people to resonate with topics related to attachment. I'm really grateful that you brought this up.
Hey there...I finished reading the book and it was a solid read. Surprisingly, I discovered there are in fact 4 total attachment types - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. For sure I would make for a terrible comic, but if I were taking a closed exam, I would likely have an abstract visual of the letters ‘SAAD’ stapled somewhere within my brain, lol. But the nexus regarding how our childhood years - helping to shape which attachment style best fits us later on as adults - I found to be the most interesting part of the book. But thanks much again. Being smarter is always a plus. As always remain safest. 😎
Such an asethetic video❤️ I have an anxious attachment style and the book the child in you by Stephanie Stahl really helped me and thinking about what my boundaries and needs are and how to communicate them♡
For me I've learned to keep my fantasies in my dreams, but literally yesterday I had this weird ass dream and it totally took a different turn than I thought it was and I remembered all of it and wrote it down. But yea that's the exception, most dreams I have usually stay dreams until I forget abt them the next day.
I get constantly let down by friends ever since one of my best friends moved away, it seems every one has their little bubble of friends and though they do welcome me in, its not to the level of becoming close, so im always rotating friend groups because there is no one who wants to be with me.
I relate to the red flag bit a lot. I guess forcing myself to realize that stuff can't be exactly like I want them to be, because nearly all the time the stuff that happens doesn't only happen to me so it revolves around a lot of conditions such as people(I'm not sure if this is a correct sentence or make sense lol). I'm not trying to be harsh but looking at it while trying to comment on it, made me feel like I'm looking at things too egocentric to believe that my fantasy is the perfect outcome since it only applies to my wants and needs. Maybe stuff that disappoints me is another person's fantasy or more realistically a middle ground considering every aspect and condition surrounding the ''stuff''. IDK if this makes sense I hope it does.
Hi Im a new subscriber and I LOVEEE your videos your so relatable and I love your unique style of vlogs, I only been watching you for like a hour and I already love your channel!! Just from the topics that you talk about in your videos I feel so understood and I just want to say I hope both sides of your pillow are cold lol !! but really Thank you!!!
Dear Lindsiann, I recently came across your video and was blown away by the amazing song that played in the background 3:29 - 4:19. The melody was so beautiful and the lyrics really resonated with me. I've been trying to find the song title and artist but have had no luck so far. Could you please let me know the name of the song and the artist? I would be forever grateful! Thank you so much for sharing this incredible video, and I look forward to hearing back from you soon. Best regards, online stranger :D :D :D :D :D :D
sometimes you wonder if it's worth all the effort - trying to reverse injuries caused by abnormalities in upbringing and the days you feel you don't have it in you, or that you've been condemned to never be 'normal" can my life yield a net force for good, despite all my innate problems? you just keep on keeping on; maybe it's not that I'm courageous, but that I'm too much of a coward to give up the ghost
Dang, when I was watching this video it felt like I was getting called out haha Definitely understand the "anxious" thing.. I feel like I have a hard time trusting people because they can be seen as a waste of time if that makes sense. Also fantasizing about the future is something I do as well. I feel like there are so many things that I want to accomplish during my life but with college consuming most of my time, it feels like I am going nowhere. I guess that I should have a more open mind about life and not worry so much about the future, grades. money etc. Life's not about all that stuff anyways.
Loneliness is scary, once you find peace in loneliness you’ll never wanna leave
It’s amazing to find out someone else has the same problems I do 😢 I tend to fantasize in my head a lot, only for disappointment. I have extreme anxiety, even though some times I don’t acknowledge the fact that I suffer from anxiety. I give myself to much of a high exception in school, as well. I want only A’ s but I know at some point I, going to have to accept a b or c, and give myself a break. I don’t have to be be doing something to feel like I did something achieving for the day. I have to give myself a break, and relax.😊
You literally described me to a T. Glad to know I’m not the only one feeling this way 🫶🥹
Wow i guess we are all the same
Omg I have the same feeling
Learn more about religion especially Islam, as it tells you about how we can cope with those typical disappointments of our perfect scenario expectations. The most important one is; Trusting Allah, as He is The One who has planned our future and in that way you can put your trust in Him to feel less worry and anxiety. Trust me man I've been there, feeling like a dissapintmant and wishing I could change my previous actions and but that never happened. Btw Allah is God but Arabic.
Maybe this is better :) chatgpt wrote this one
it's important to remember that everything happens according to Allah's will and plan. Sometimes things may not go as we hope or expect, but it's important to have faith and trust in Allah's plan for us. Whenever you feel anxious or worried about the future, turn to Allah in prayer and seek comfort in the belief that Allah is always with you and will guide you through difficult times. Remember that Allah's plan is always better than anything we could plan for ourselves, and have faith that everything will work out according to Allah's plan.
Don’t listen to this guy about religion. Find yourself
You never fail to make such mini cinematic masterpieces with each video😨🤩
@Kelly Tyler Honestly. I expected to get something from this video but she literally just said a bunch of nothing.
@Kelly Tyler 💀💀
I get constantly feeling let down. As a fellow romanticizer, my attachment issues do bring up daily problems for me. Hearing you mirror my recent thoughts about how to be alone has ironically shown me I'm not as alone as I think I am. Working on myself, for myself, has always been a daunting idea for me. Although, watching you do it, and making it look easy, motivates me to keep working toward that emotional independence. Nice video.
Try to hang out with older men. Every man loves to romanticize, but you need a bigger purpose. A weird thing about life is that the more you want women, the less you tend to have good results with them. Focus on yourself, your purpose, and ask a girl out here and there, but don't stress it. As you hang around older men, this and other advice will be plentiful.
I've noticed that writing in a personal journal before going to bed really helps me a lot with winding down and also clearing my head out and getting some of my thoughts and emotions together. I would personally recommend doing it, but the life you live is yours and only yours.
"Do what you want to do because life is too short not to" - Me I guess because I couldn't find this exact quote online lol
Same, journaling and praying helps me a lot but really doing anything that just helps me get my thoughts out of my day
as a student athlete who doesn't compete for the school and not have the facilities and support from a D1 school but also perform at a division 1 level, I have to admit that it's hard. I don't have friend(s) that I hang out with, and nobody ever invites me to do anything. It's very easy to fall into the insecurity abyss. I am trying my best to make the best out of my last semester of college, after being discriminated against and treated unfairly as a high-performing non-varsity student athlete. It's a big life lesson that we have to learn sooner or later I guess. I have never hung out with anyone outside of campus for more than an hour. I used to be super jealous of the life that a lot of other people have. Now that I'm kind of unsensitized to everything around me, and I've been pushed to a breaking point, combined with my drop of performance on the track, I'm taking a break, doing whatever I feel like doing, and not doing whatever I don't feel like doing for a month. I don't care if my grades drop, I don't care if I spend too much money, I don't care if I don't eat enough this month, but surprisingly I'm doing better, I've been getting around 11 hours of sleep everyday, staying in bed or in my room for most of the day, eat when I feel dizzy, etc. My grades aren't dropping, I'm not actually spending more money, and I'm not actually feeling as bad as I used to feel. I think sometimes we just have to step back and just say fuck it, and let your body autopilot (but in a different way), and see what happens. I can't wait for the outdoor season and beating everyone else on the varsity team in the same race (for the like 4th time lol).
I’m so glad you’re bringing more awareness to attachment styles and how it affects our lives and relationships, as a psychologist I found it so interesting and I know it would help so many people if they knew why they were doing the things that they do. Why they get hurt over and over again. Also, I’m also a fellow anxious style so I know exactly how you feel. I’m working on it though
how would you suggest working on an anxious attachment ? is there anything specifically u can do or is it just being aware of it as u move forwards?
@steph Sorry for the late reply! I would say it's both. Having awareness that the reasons you either push people away once they get too close, self sabotage or reject genuine affection may be to do with your insecure attachment style really helps you know when to stop and reflect then act differently.
It can also help you in terms of realising why you find emotionally unavailable people so attractive/why you idolise people who don't appreciate you or show that much availability towards you. (Not saying this is you but many anxious types are drawn to people who pull away and act distant) I don't know if you've ever heard of the ick when you have a crush on someone, but as soon as they like you back, you get put off them so quickly? That's actually because anxious types fear commitment. Because once someone is available/likes them back, it means they have the opportunity to now date. Which puts them in a vulnerable position of getting hurt! So it scares them and translates to an ick. Liking a crush who doesn't like you back is way more desirable deep down because you know you're safe in that area and you get addicted to the drug like highs and lows of 'the chase'.
In terms of psychology, these are formed with upbringing... An anxious attachment really boils down to the core fear of abandonment. We're scared that people will leave us, so we leave them first. Or we're scared that people would leave us so we people please others into staying or need constant reassurance from the anxiety that one day they'll wake up and decide to drop us. (Then seeming clingy). This goes the same for both relationships and friendships. The key to overcoming it always boils down to self-love and acceptance. Also, tell your inner self that it's okay if people leave because you'll always have you. And telling ourselves that we deserve the love that others give to us (easier said than done).
It takes a lot of insightfulness to realise when your actions are caused by your attachment style being triggered. It also takes a lot of self reflection.
ALSO! Do the opposite of what you REALLY want to do. You feel like asking your friend/bf reassurance that they love you for the millionth time? Reassure yourself instead (its okay, they DO love you). Feel like running away from commitment with a good man in case things are too good to be true? Face your fears and go for it! I know it's scary, but doing it scared will help train yourself to face your core fears and inevitably change your attachment style from an insecure one to a secure one!
Hope this helps!
i can’t help but to cry as i’m watching this masterpiece because you’re literally just like me and i feel so seen now. idky i expected to get to college and make friends so fast knowing ive never had a friend all my life. it’s so frustrating but fantasizing is the only thing that keeps me going
hearing that someone else is going through similar things is so encouraging, it's like duh ofc i'm not the only one but actively hearing it is somehow so freeing. anyways, thanks for the advice and for making this video!!
Very interesting about fantasizing! I always fantasize about expectations every day, but I don't really experience feelings of disappointment. If anything, it helps me realize that these things are within reach as long as they are under our control. Accepting when things don't go as planned gives us a chance to learn and adapt to discomfort, even if it was not our intention. Good luck in college and keep pushing c:
please keep making these videos. Not only they are relatable but they really inspire me to keep going and you really are making a difference in my life
this video made me feel understood for the first time in weeks, thank you so much. Been suffering so much with my anxious attachment and trying to find a way to finally get out of this dark place and start healing. You gained a subscriber, thank u
Listening to you really makes me calm and think about life, I hope that in the future things go well for you and your are happy
Thank you for this video. I’ve been on my own journey this semester as a college student after struggling to love myself and really not liking my actions. My routine of good sleep, making my bed, going to the gym, and reading when I was outside of classes helped me find new love in myself and enjoy every day.
being single around all my couple friends feels amazing honestly , all the time i save putting that into my work right now matters most , relationships can always wait for later
Hi girll. I just wanted to say that I love your videos and we can see how much time and effort you put into them. You inspire me to be productive and be the best version of myself, so I just wanted to say thank you. Also I love listening to your voice because it just makes so calm:))
YO I've been doing a very similar thing to yours for the past 3/4 weeks where I'm isolating myself, and making good habits and forming small routines, leading into a bigger, branched out simpler day routine, doing uni and everything else. Enjoyed your video!
I’ve recently learned about attachment styles in my social psychology class and had a similar experience where I felt like some part of me was explained for the first time. I learned that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style, where I’m anxious in my relationships and want to get closer to people but I’m also fearful of intimacy. Definitely is something that will take time to work through. Thanks for sharing this!
Fun hack for cutting onions, wet a paper towel and place it beside the cutting board. Apparently the onion is attracted to moisture which is why it goes to your eyes, so the paper towel helps a bunch!
this is the first video i have watched of this channel and i cried because it recommended me on the right time i have lately being soo ignored by my college trio they just makes me feel so left out and i was expecting soo much from them and it just hurt now i really want to grow now for myself and detach from people thanks i hope u post another videos of your self growth journey because it just inspire me to be best version of yourself . Thanks!
This comment was posted 8 months ago now I left them and it's been 8 months now and believe me I have changed alot 😂
Hy it's one year now damnnn been longg noww ❤
i ALWAYS to fantasize and don't live in the present 😭 i used to let it consume me but as of recently i been forcing myself to enjoy the moment and be IN the moment. doing tasks i like alone and learning to accommodate myself has helped a lot! i really enjoyed your video, just subscribed 🖤
This content is so wholesome and healing honestly, thank you for sharing
4:45 I have this same issue with fantasizing and expectations. I've recently had a breakthrough on this but it will be a constant practice to stay in the present. It's beautiful to have an open, positive mindset and embrace the uniqueness of each day and each version (good and bad) of yourself. Acceptance and self-trust do so much good for securing the mind/body/soul.
I really think that the first step should be to accept such a thing about yourself, or else I guess you're pretty much just left with negative feelings towards it and it gets harder for you to face it head on. Once you've accepted it and you've told yourself that you want to change that about yourself know that you're doing it for yourself and then just slowly start moving towards the direction of developing and evolving yourself and trying to act and control more of your inside thoughts and making them make you feel secure about you and your future.
hope this helps :) you got this IA
omg your videos are so cinematic and satisfying to watch. and this video was filled with so many key life lessons - it really gave me another perspective to think about life 🥰😍
One of my fav vlogs I’ve watched in a while. So beautifully put together.
Especially the parts about fantasizing instead of being in the moment, personally the way i deal with that issue is the fantasize about further and further in the future rather than fantasizing about what happens in the coming weeks or months. I feel like fantasizing about the far away future has actually benefited me recently, it's helped motivate me to do things and experience things that I would otherwise not do or experience. I also relate to alot of other things too but i can't put it into words.
I CAN FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS TRU THE VIDEO AND ITS SO COOL
I have disorganized attachment style and what I noticed helps me is to let the person that I'm with tell me when they're leaving me like if they're going to the restroom or the kitchen or going to get something from the room or throw away the trash to be like " I'll be right back I'm gonna throw away the trash " or I'm going to the kitchen I'll be right back " or if I'm really terrified of feeling abandoned ill ask if I can go with them wherever they're going! (Example the kitchen or bedroom)That way I don't feel abandoned bc I know where they're going and I know that they're coming back!
I am always amazed as to how people take shots of themselves walking to someplace like gym or mall. I am aware of the process but still amazed.
Four attachment styles, three have been popularized because they came out with the original research, but a forth was added a few years later and is just as important as the first three: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized.
First semester in university away from home it really is lonely, and depressing but it gives time to improve and explore on what you want to do with your life. Take advantage of this abundance of time because it will never come back.
I love the coming to age college girl learning how to make it on her own genre on CZcams
It's giving Sophia Chang, but younger and more relatable to college aged people 😌 love it
this video was actually so so much peaceful to watch. also motivated me to get out of my lump
How do you become a secure person?
Personally, I don't think a "secure person" actually exists, at least not a perfectly secure person. We all have our own flaws, it is what makes us unique; humans are inherently imperfect. In my opinion, the better question to ask is: how do I become a more secure person?
This is something that I have struggled with since I had that moment where I was like "wow I'm a conscious, living thing" - classic fun time moment. I have shifted through various coping styles throughout the years, but one common theme that has persisted is that you can only depend on yourself to become more secure. I agree that other individuals do contribute to our security and foster resilience and such, but we really gotta understand ourselves first.
Some things that have helped:
-therapy therapy therapy
-don't rely on drugs/escapism
-time spent in solitude
-exercise
-sun
-BEING OFF SOCIAL MEDIA (have never felt better)
-journaling
-working through childhood trauma
-not internalizing or projecting onto-self (learned through therapy)
-therapy again, jesus just everybody go to therapy
omg haha for some reason, my tiktok feed is showing a lot of videos related to "Anxious attachment" and now I'm seeing your video talking about the same thing. It's freaky because I have someone in mind rn and just like you, I've been fantasizing about all the potential problems before it even occur. HAHAHA Having this kind of feeling is emotionally draining. I hope and pray that people who are experiencing this find the right people to wash these anxieties away.
Hey there...and GM. The glow on your face looks really amazing. The benefits of working out regularly does help to purge toxins and lower stress - such an impressive effort on your end - bravo! Also, it does appear that you've found a new gear - one that gives you both balance and structure each day - which is another awesome achievement. Great looking outfits as well - very well assembled, each highlighting just how beautiful and athletic you really are. And you continue to rock that NY cap so well - a cool yet subtle way that gives your outfits that extra 'pop.' With that, I'm somewhat concerned about your knee band aids. I hope nothing serious happened?? Sure, I know you're capable of taking care of yourself, but please don't hesitate to see a doctor if necessary. And try to change them daily until the healing is near complete. Regarding the book you referenced, yes it does sound very interesting. I'm sure I can find it on Prime or perhaps at the local village bookstore here. As far as attachment types, they're probably (I would think) in some ways are linked to one's own maturation and personal growth - both of which can be defined using a number of everyday examples. With that, I honestly believe that being mercurial (on some occasions) is just part of us doing what we feel is best. Sure, sometimes things don't develop fully as we plan or envision them (for all sorts of reasons big and small) but when that happens, we simply reengage and give it another try. I've learned that some things in life (truly special things) are genuinely worth the added time and effort. As far as being comfortably alone, technically you're never really alone because you 'always' have (nearest to you) the one person whom you can trust the most - which is yourself - to include those of us who love and care for you no matter the situation., Please remain safest, and as always, thanks much for sharing. B looking forward to reading the book😎
Girl, this video makes me so happy. Insane how much i relate to this. Many of us do. Thank u ❤️
Really liked this video. Going into college this summer and its nice to see an overview of a student already in that period.
So relatable, crazy daydreamer here🙋♂I never thought about the fear of future uncertainty and lack of control might be one of the reasons I tend to fantazise, thanks. I've always interpreted it like an attempt to escape present dissatisfactionm maybe that's why I always think of something I don't have. Lately I found building a routine, and trying to be as productive as possible, a powerful weapon to reconnect to the present, but there are times when I'm left with nothing to do but daydream. I'm in college too, so gotta stay focused!
I really suggest the book The Courage to be Disliked. It gives me new perspective on how to see my relationship with people
really loved this narrative style!! it was super interisting, and loved seeing you just living your life
Self awareness, empathy, deep introspection.
I love how transparent you are! Your editing style is amazing!
When cutting union just put a jar of water on the side ,and your eyes won't burn trust me💖💓🌸
Two years ago, i tried college near my hometown so i didn't have to move out, but it didn't work out because of a series of factors and i drop out. In my year and half there i wasn't able to make one single friend and that broke me, i can't say it's not one of the reasons i drop out. Six months ago i tried to apply for a new college away from my hometown, thinking to myself that maybe living alone and far away from anybody i knew, would be a chance to start new and make friends. Well, what i can say is that now i'm all alone in a new city and i don't know what to do. I have been feeling depressed lately and not motivated to do anything. Truth is i just wanna have someone in my life that cares about me, but i can't find nobody that does. Loneliness sucks, i hope nobody else is going through what i'm going through right now
Lindsiann I need u to make a podcast bc everything u talk about resignates with everything I think on the daily and I need more insight and perspective.
it was soo aesthetically pleasing i was just sitting and looking at it like its the most beautiful thing that i was. your work style and creativity is amazing please dont stop making vidoes.
the future is a consequence of the present. if you learn to live in the here and now and give your best in a given moment or situation you won't worry about how it will turn out or in other words if you give your best now you won't worry about the future. much love
My ability to relate to every single thing you said is insane. Thanks for making a great video 💕
hey! love the video! where did yoy get the pants from - the ones you wear throughout most of the video
new to your channel, but I just appreciate how you turned your week into an insightful journey for others to be apart of ✨
Solitude is truly the most fulfilling manner in which to live life
thank you for sharing your experience of reading the book Attached. I read that book as well and very unfortunately my attachment style is anxious-avoidant. It's really hard for me to find people to resonate with topics related to attachment. I'm really grateful that you brought this up.
Hey there...I finished reading the book and it was a solid read. Surprisingly, I discovered there are in fact 4 total attachment types - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. For sure I would make for a terrible comic, but if I were taking a closed exam, I would likely have an abstract visual of the letters ‘SAAD’ stapled somewhere within my brain, lol. But the nexus regarding how our childhood years - helping to shape which attachment style best fits us later on as adults - I found to be the most interesting part of the book. But thanks much again. Being smarter is always a plus. As always remain safest. 😎
I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style already, so this is a piece of cake. I'm also going to study abroad alone!
your thoughts are so much appealing and all true, studying and hanging out at leavey and also doheny are my fav part too. fighton!!
very surreal looking at USC through your eyes. Perspective really makes a big difference
Such an asethetic video❤️ I have an anxious attachment style and the book the child in you by Stephanie Stahl really helped me and thinking about what my boundaries and needs are and how to communicate them♡
Bro the way this video was so relatable and validating! Well done!
love this so much
For me I've learned to keep my fantasies in my dreams, but literally yesterday I had this weird ass dream and it totally took a different turn than I thought it was and I remembered all of it and wrote it down. But yea that's the exception, most dreams I have usually stay dreams until I forget abt them the next day.
I get constantly let down by friends ever since one of my best friends moved away, it seems every one has their little bubble of friends and though they do welcome me in, its not to the level of becoming close, so im always rotating friend groups because there is no one who wants to be with me.
I dont usually find myself watching lifestyle videos but this one has really cool vibes
ILYSM💗💗Thank you for this perfect videos🥰
I relate to the red flag bit a lot. I guess forcing myself to realize that stuff can't be exactly like I want them to be, because nearly all the time the stuff that happens doesn't only happen to me so it revolves around a lot of conditions such as people(I'm not sure if this is a correct sentence or make sense lol). I'm not trying to be harsh but looking at it while trying to comment on it, made me feel like I'm looking at things too egocentric to believe that my fantasy is the perfect outcome since it only applies to my wants and needs. Maybe stuff that disappoints me is another person's fantasy or more realistically a middle ground considering every aspect and condition surrounding the ''stuff''. IDK if this makes sense I hope it does.
love the video btw
Algorithm hits, been enjoying content like these lately. Keep it up! I definitely miss SoCal so this brings me back.
thank you so much for this! needed to hear this :( please talk about this more, ily
Im so glad i stumbled across this video I been feeling like this lately and Im glad its not just me, thank you so much.
I did not expect to relate so much to this video
just discovered you (subscribed), and the part about having anxiety about the future and fantasizing is totally me. 💖
i have no idea how I got here. but I'm in the first 30 seconds... I feel at ease.
I can relate with you always fantasizing and not being in the present and getting a shit load of anxiety because of it
needed this video rn. thank you
Hi Im a new subscriber and I LOVEEE your videos your so relatable and I love your unique style of vlogs, I only been watching you for like a hour and I already love your channel!! Just from the topics that you talk about in your videos I feel so understood and I just want to say I hope both sides of your pillow are cold lol !! but really Thank you!!!
Dear Lindsiann,
I recently came across your video and was blown away by the amazing song that played in the background 3:29 - 4:19. The melody was so beautiful and the lyrics really resonated with me.
I've been trying to find the song title and artist but have had no luck so far. Could you please let me know the name of the song and the artist? I would be forever grateful!
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible video, and I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
Best regards,
online stranger :D :D :D :D :D :D
Did you ever find this song I was quite curious as well
2:16 pleas turn the knive on the back side when scraping things off
what is the song playing around 4:17?
yes I also want to know
hi sweetie! tysm for making me feel comf in my own skin! have a great one!
3:40 anyone know which song is that?
dudeeeee I was literally like, whaaaa the vid is done eh
she looks like and reminds me so much of ashley from bestdressed
hii
sometimes you wonder if it's worth all the effort - trying to reverse injuries caused by abnormalities in upbringing
and the days you feel you don't have it in you, or that you've been condemned to never be 'normal"
can my life yield a net force for good, despite all my innate problems?
you just keep on keeping on; maybe it's not that I'm courageous, but that I'm too much of a coward to give up the ghost
I love all the songs that you import into this video
Dang, when I was watching this video it felt like I was getting called out haha
Definitely understand the "anxious" thing.. I feel like I have a hard time trusting people because they can be seen as a waste of time if that makes sense.
Also fantasizing about the future is something I do as well. I feel like there are so many things that I want to accomplish during my life but with college consuming most of my time, it feels like I am going nowhere.
I guess that I should have a more open mind about life and not worry so much about the future, grades. money etc. Life's not about all that stuff anyways.
hey thx for this vid love it and ur editing is rlly good❤️ hope ur doing well
thank you so much for being who you are.
this vid made me realise a lot of things about myself thx
I need that workout playlist😔
A video a didn't know I needed. Thank you :D
Getting out the house first thing ins the morning for the same exact reason. I thought I was the only one
OMG I just read that book!!! Like yesterday CRAZY!!!
this is the future, 10M subs one day
"protecting you peace isn't about isolating yourself from harm" 😔 Should I stop being reserved?
where did u get the pants @4:25 they’re so cute? :)
I’m in néw york and your not alone I see a lot of my classmates here in this big city alone and they prefer it that way!
Your hairstyle really suits you 🤍
hi can anyone please tell me what equipment was used to film and create this interesting aesthetic?
thanks