Living With ASPD - Q&A (AMA) | SocioPathos
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- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
- It's really long, but I wanted to have a non-scripted response to each question. I hope it helped your understanding of my experience with ASPD. Remember that my specific experience with ASPD does not at all represent everyone with the disorder, nor am I a mental health expert. I am a high functioning sociopath, and ASPD is a large spectrum that covers a lot more than just that, so don't take my words as true for others, just myself. Also, don't be afraid to ask more questions or suggest ideas for me to make better and more informative videos in the future. TYSM for watching!!!
Warning: I suspect I have ASPD, so my perspective is probably not 100% accurate to all diagnosed people because I am still in the process of getting officially diagnosed. Take my view with a grain of salt, and use your own judgment.
Timestamps:
OP: 0:00
Q1: 1:01
Q2: 1:10
Q3: 2:59
Q4: 4:09
Q5: 6:40
Q6: 8:00
Q7: 8:40
Q8: 9:42
Q9: 10:23
Q10: 12:04
Q11: 13:02
Q12: 14:03
Q13: 16:10
Q14: 18:19
Q15: 19:00
Q16: 20:32
Q17: 22:20
Q18: 22:58
Q19: 27:45
Q20: 29:36
Q21: 30:58
Q22: 32:06
Q23: 33:22
Ending: 38:25
Tags: SocioPathos, ASPD, Sociopath, Q&A, etc.
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Next time I do a Q&A, I'll try to make it roughly 10 minutes for easier viewing. This was just to get through a BUNCH of stuff which I really appreciated, so everyone who asked questions, you're a bunch of legends, thank you all :)
Edit: At 4:26 I said I was diagnosed by my therapist. This is both impossible and untrue. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose ASPD (at least to my knowledge), and my therapist only implied I may have it. Sorry about the misinfo; I'll blame it on the all-nighter lmao
I just want to say that as someone else with ASPD I appreciated how much you went in to depth with this video. I valued your insights, as I could finally relate to somebody other than myself. It was not difficult for me to sit through the entirety of your video - which I’m sure you understand is saying something. While this remains to be both intriguing and informative for ‘neurotypicals’, I want you to know how much it makes a difference to those of us who are living through the same type of thought process/behavior patterns
Is it true all sociopaths are also narcissistic?
Therapists in the US have the ability to diagnose any mental illness. This includes personality disorders. Certain tests can only be administered by psychiatrists/psychologists and some therapists refuse to diagnose without certain testing.
@@kevinclark2566 narcissism is definitely a symptom of aspd but not all sociopaths are narcissistic. You don't have to have ALL the possible symptoms to be diagnosed.
@@kevinclark2566 i think some sociopaths are but not all.
"I'll take their sadness that I'm witnessing them feel, and I'll inject it into my brain in a way, and then just boost my sadness level." That, is empathy! And while it is learned behavior for you, vs. intrinsic, it still is empathy, and that's a HUGE accomplishment. Good work. Love your channel.
Kind of disappointing then. I don't know how meaningful someone doing that for me would be
@@tyrozinehappykitchen I see it as more meaningful as that person has then made the conscious decision to empathise with and relate to you.
To be specific, how he processes empathy would probably be considered cognitive empathy while most people have affective empathy.
@@DanielDavidHanks yea cognitive empathy means they cna label it properly..
Water out the eyes.. That's sadness
Mouth turned up.. That's a smile equals happy.
Frowed brow this is anger
They have a shelf of responses to give out if they want to show cold empathy. Some have more responses than others. One can have 2 different responses for sadness and another can have 5 or 10 different ones for sadness if they're more evolved.
@@daviedood2503 -- Your description of how sadness looks... Yes, unless the person is pretending.
But ten different kinds of sadness? I'm not sure that's how it is. I think sadness is sadness, but you can feel sad for different reasons. Or Do I not understand that correctly?
As someone with ASPD, I appreciate these videos. Helps people realize that we aren’t all murderers.
Why dont you murder anyone?
@@JohnDoe10350 jail ain't funny
@@JohnDoe10350 Because we know it's not good to harm people. It's not like we're fucking aliens.
Yeah
You guys are not humans honestly
The “love” topic is so interesting. I can be fond of individuals in my life and family and yet when they begin to annoy me or anger me, I can 100% cut them off and never miss them again. How can that be love?
From the way people talk about what love feels like, I seriously feel that I’ve never experienced it in my entire 36 years.
Its like if something happened to them you would not be able to live. or that you would throw yourself in front of a car for them. It’s like a feeling of over coming emotion feeling you are super happy but also could cry at the same time. It’s definitely the most powerful and complex emotion
I feel you on this one. Love is the hardest thing to try to feel. It’s so hard to do. Maybe one day
I've always been like that. My best friend has told me that she's always found my ability to entirely cut someone out at the drop of a hat to be wild. I've usually done it when that person (if they're an acquaintance, a friend, etc.) either angers or annoys me and I completely stop thinking about them or caring about them. I've never felt love, and how he answered his question regarding family and the concept of love is something I 100% relate to. I don't understand it. It's such a weird concept and knowing that he and others feel like that is validating.
Im autistic, not aspd. Dont belive them when they talk about love. Neurotypicals confuse love with attachment. I think you people with aspd dont feel attachment (?)
Bro me too
Don't have ASPD, but I have ASD and have trouble with intrinsic empathy, like I have to imagine the consequences, how it feels for them, etc. before I can form empathy. Wouldn't say I'm free of remorse completely but I do definitely understand the consequences pretty logically, and I like the notion of leading a kind life.
What's ASD? Thank you
@@lukapopovic6668 Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's not so much a lack of emotions but trouble expressing and 'getting' social empathy (empathy and compassion still exist though)
Me too. ASD. Very relative. But I experience overwhelming emotion, instead.
Im also on the asd spectrum but Im the opposite of an asd. Highly involved in in emotions and people but I don't last long, it burns my brain out
Mi stai simpatico!!!
I had to laugh over the bunny "I didn't kill it!!!!" 😂😂😂
That was hilarious
Hahahah same
Best moment of the video 😂
My eyes went wide when he said that I'm glad he confirmed lolol
Dunno if anyone gives a shit but if you are stoned like me atm you can stream all of the new movies and series on instaflixxer. I've been binge watching with my girlfriend recently =)
I cannot see your relationships suffering. You are very accepting of yourself, transparent and willing to grow as a person, good for you. That is amazing!
That's what can make a sociopath so dangerous 99 percent of what he said could be a lie and you would never know.
@@tr1ton it's not going to benefit him if he lies in this situation tho lmfao? Normally people with aspd only lie if it benefits them. I don't see how it's benefitting him in this situations
@jiminsbff7097 ofc you don't.
This is so weird because I am a highly sensitive person with a lot of empathy, and because of that I’ve repressed a lot of emotions and the main emotion I never really have been able to feel is anger, and I’m working through that in therapy rn. So odd that you have the exact opposite feeling! I have finally started to release my anger though, and you’re right it is such a visceral emotion! Very interesting vid
I’m glad you’re here! Honestly, you’re the only person i’ve seen without aspd or a similar disorder who actually is supportive and understanding. It’s good to see.
Same! I hate being angry, so when I am angry I just freeze and don't talk.
I get angry for sure and my disorders sometimes cause me to rage but I’m working on it.
Wow, same!
Am highly sensitive to am a empathetic person I don’t tolerate toxic people still I am a kind caring person and I been careful who I allow in my life I have high levels of empathy and I enjoy it and I would not be myself without it I have it for others as well.
I have BPD. Really interesting to learn about other personality disorders- they all seem so similar just with small tweaks that differentiate us all.
Trueee
I enjoyed this video very much. People with ASPD are not all the same, unfortunately society doesn't quite get that.
By the way, great name!!
I couldn’t help but laugh watching this bc I understand everything he’s saying and how hard it is to explain
I’ve read that it’s certainly possible to have anxiety and depression alongside ASPD. I have no idea what’s wrong with me but I’m never able to sympathize with other peoples’ emotions and I don’t mean this in a bad way, but I find it very hard to care about peoples’ endeavors no matter how much I want to. This makes me think I fall into this category, but I’m also haunted every day by physical anxiety symptoms / performance anxiety in social settings.
Same. I got on meds and now I feel great, if not a bit more muted/clouded than before.
As a sociopath, I can relate so much to this. Thanks for making these videos man.
Lmao stfu
@@deontewilliams550 why is this needed?
This has made me curious I thought I was just a terrible person but I can told emotions and my empathy for others I constantly lie and manipulate people most of the time unconsciously so now I may do some investigating to see if I have anything
@@gamma4524 Doesn't get attention at home so he seeks it online.
@@user-re7qu6gb7o very well could be
Everything about ASPD is super fascinating, especially your story living with this personality disorder. I truly enjoyed the fact that you said you try to enjoy the present moment and live everyday with joy. I struggle with this, because of my generalized anxiety disorder and depression. My anxiety gets in the way of this (comparing myself always to others, worrying about the future, etc) and I fail to enjoy the time I have NOW. You opened my eyes that I need to be more mindful and logical with my intrusive anxious thoughts. You are a true example that we all make choices each day on how we want to live our life.
I'm half way through this q&a, and I have to say; you have incredible self-awareness. A lot of people could learn from your attitude! Keep it up, mate
You know, I am a deeply empathetic person (To a stupid level actually because I am autistic) and I still feel some of what you are talking about when someone tells me their sad news. Like sometimes I'm exhausted from all the emotions and I was guarded but now it's like I'm an asshole if I don't drop the wall but I'm so tired that my very first emotion is annoyance. Now because I am the one people come to for empathy, I do drop it, but sometimes I have to like tell them I need a little time, go have a smoke, and come back around and give them the sincere reaction. I have also been on the other side where I don't really want to bring people down but I am drowning in my own pain and can't really help it, and it can make it hurt more if people show me I am causing them to suffer also. Honestly though, if you can't handle you can't handle it, and an empathetic person will understand and learn not to come to you with that. I have friends like that where I only come to them with my good stuff. Those are my have fun friends. They help me leave behind my shit and just have some fuckin fun. I'm a shoulder to cry on friend so for me I specifically have a group of friends that aren't looking for any of that mess, because in return I also get to have fun. Nothing wrong with letting people know what kinda friend you wanna be
It’s interesting because you talk about emotions in a cerebral, logical, and measured way. For those of us with emotions (sometimes too much emotion) it’s much more emergent and impactful on our body. We literally feel emotions throughout our bodies and we often feel the emotions of other around us. I would feel cut off if I couldn’t experience my emotions and my empathy for others.
I can’t control my emotions. I can hide or bury my emotions but not without a cost because often they will build up. I hope you continue to learn how to cope effectively in society. Employment can be really tough for asp. I guess sales or owning your own business can be a good thing.
This is litterally me. I've suspected this diagnosis for about 6 months now through extensive research. You do a very good job explaining this. Keep doing what your doing man.
This is very interesting! You share some amazing insights about ASPD. I've never met a self-actualised high-functioning Sociopath. (sorry I dont know if you mind be called that). "Feeling geniuenly happy when others are happy" THAT is a trait of Empathy. It's good that you were diagnosed so young and you got to learn how to adapt to your condition for the better. Your brain is still developing and you have your whole life ahead of you to practice and cultivate how to be more empathetic. You'll be alright kid...
Exactly.... I am looking at this i am 25. He is 19.
I wanna see him making more videos...
I am looking at this cuz for the insights. I lost my train long time ago. This dude still has a chance .. genuinely wanna see him helping others in future.
@@aaronbones4290 Do you have ASPD as well?
Do you find yourself unintentionally giving socially acceptable answers to questions about aspd, because of your desire to erase the stigma? As someone with an anxiety disorder, even I try to make it seem less frustrating than it actually is when I am trying to explain what it is to others, so I imagine with aspd that could be likely too.
Good question
I was wondering this too! Tbh if I had ASPD and had a really bad answer to a question, I would tweak my answer a little to avoid everyone in my life knowing the truth. I have BPD and I do that sometimes already, just out of shame/self defense, so I can’t imagine with ASPD
well i just say that i dont care usually
@emi エミ Don't you have to explain to them the difference between emotional and cognitive empathy as a consequence??
I love this and the way you explained everything. After watching this I feel like I “get” you on a mental level
I sometimes forget i can choose to feel happy. Thank you for the reminder
I ain’t never commented on any video before but this video relates to my life so much that I’m going to get a therapist to see if I have ASPD.
Think of ASPD as a gift and not a curse
@@lelouchlamperouge1804 your right,you really are BUT it sometimes suck when you punch some guy in his dumb face or gona try to stroke someone to death beacause of your lacks of empathy and impulse lets say that in this situation your gona take responsibility for what you did soo that suck.
@@danieltracz1800 do you have aspd?
I think you're so cool for being this honest! I'm glad for you that you had the chance to have early therapy so you can lead a normal & happy life 💛
I'm glad you're speaking your truth. This lifestyle is nothing to be feared. And about that dimmer switch: spot on...
I’m 25 and I’ve been trying to figure myself out for a long time, and you’re the first person I’ve ever heard mention toggleable empathy. I’ve had it forever but haven’t been able to simplify it into something I could easily explain. So thank you, you’re doing great things. Also the whole bunny thing was fucking hilarious and relatable
I'm glad I found you. It is really nice to hear a perspective of an actual ASPD rather than just typical info found on websites
You said you were diagnosed at 17, I thought you could not be diagnosed with ASPD before the age of 18
Can you elaborate
You can be diagnosed actually very early I was diagnosed at 10
Nightbot As i understand it, here in the United States you cannot be officially diagnosed as ASPD on paper until 18 years of age, I have heard of individuals with aspd being diagnosed with conduct disorder before 18 but never ASPD itself, although their therapist may have expressed belief that said individual was a sociopath/psychopath or had strong sociopathic/psychopathic traits
That is all I mean
I’m diagnosed with adhd and conduct disorder with major depression so yes I can definitely back you up my therapist does not want to diagnose me due to stigma and just wants to help me manage symptoms
@@Mister_O781 I've worked in a psychiatrist office and I did see the doctor suspect ASPD under 17 (they would be 99% sure) so they would go ahead and begin treatment/therapy even they couldn't technically diagnose them officially. I think this is what he is referring to. Basically you know what you have but not it's not on paper
@@Mister_O781 you're right
I was looking for videos to watch while pulling an allnighter to write a report, and it was really interesting to learn about ASPD! Definitely will be subscribing now, and probably watching more of these Q&As while I continue writing.
Tbh it is a superpower I’m so emotional my actions are based on emotions that’s really amazing
Great video, really insightful. Loved the last example too! I think the next video would be really cool if you incorporate more stuff like the last story with the corner store to give all of your answers some more color
I messed up my life so badly, I did something that caused me to get kicked out of high school, never graduated, can't work, I went too far down the dark rabbit hole, however, it could've been worse for me. No one online admitted to something similar I've done in the past, and while I wish I could go into it, I'm not sure if I can, I like to keep my image. I only feel bad that I can't move on with my life, but that's it. I feel like my past was justified, however, again, only feel bad that no one wants to hire me and I have to live a parasitic lifestyle with my parents.
This was one of the best video I can use as a point of reference… your answers sound so much like a man I am currently seeing…. It helps me a lot. Thank you. Sometimes I question in my mind why he is in a relationship with me. Because I am so full of emotions and very expressive with feelings…. I listen to so many therapists and it makes me fearful that he may get boring with me and discard me…. Because of the lack of empathy….. but after hearing you it makes me view him in a different more positive way…..glad I found this channel
You have a great personality, I hope you keep making videos!
I've never been diagnosed with ASPD, and honestly I don't think I have it, but I do struggle with affection. Many times I've asked myself if I really care about my friends/family or not, or why I tend to act differently towards them than they do with me or their own friends/family.
I tend to mimic their behavior because I feel like it's what is right to do, but it doesn't come naturally to me.
Talking about how you feel affection for people and animals has given me some hope that maybe I can learn to feel too.
It similar for me but in my childhood I had many bad experiences with people and also experienced domestic violence. Some can leave the past behind with lil scars but I think it shaped me into someone who feels very lil empathy or care towards other human beings. However I lost my dog this summer and I can honestly say I loved him with my whole hearth and I'm still not over it. Towards animals in general my emotional spectrum is totally different. So.. No I don't think I'm a sociopath just someone who had bad luck in society
Your honesty is very much appreciated. You clearly have cognitive empathy (which if we are to be perfectly honest this is the case for the majority of people nowadays - times have demanded that we all become more selfish & self-serving imho) & your level of self awareness is impressive, based solely on how young you still are. Good for you!
Such a great vid! You are not lile what I expected at all .. you seem like a great dude.. keep up the good work
Because I've got BPD ASPD has confused my brain box for a while but this was a really insightful breakdown which I'm greatful for. Gotta let you know that you're something of a legend in the PD community. Your personality really shone in this video. I've dedicated my life to becoming a better person and personality disorder advocace but I've gotta say you've really got it cracked. Much love man.
I have yet to be professionally diagnosed, but I've been able to relate to basically everything you're talking about. Before even learning about ASPD and Sociopathy, I've had troubles with emotions and empathy. My default emotion is a lot of irritation and most of it is derived from anger toward someone who is overly emotional.
My situation is weird, and I'm not sure if anyone else experiences this the way I do, but for a long time now, I've not been able to unmask my true personality because I feel like I'm always masking for people so they won't see who I really am if that makes sense. There's some part of me that does not want to let up, that does not want to feel vulnerable, and being vulnerable both irritates me and terrifies me.
Besides that, I really enjoyed learning about how you're impacted by it, so thank you for uploading this.
honestly i can totally relate to the being unable to mask part, im autistic and im pretty sure i have aspd, my base emotion is boredom and emptiness with a hint of depression but i mask constantly because i live with others who are abusive about me showing any emotion they dislike, everything feels fake when im alone because of it
I applaud your honesty and taking the time to open up and make this video. It helps with giving some insight into some people we know in every day life. I challenge though if you have ever felt love because of the way you describe it.
I love your videos. Thank you so much for educating us neurotypicals. Very informed. 👍
This is some brilliantly eye opening stuff. Thanks so much for sharing
When I first felt anger, I was in my 20's. I thought it was amazing, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Interesting video, thanks.
The story you told absolutely relates to my boyfriend. He will give homeless folks money, cigarettes, food (even when we don't really have it) and will give them rides to places. And he never tells anybody! It'll just come up randomly if we drive by a guy he recognizes, and I'm just sitting there like why does he not tell me these things?? I would never do any of that because I'd be way too scared, but you guys aren't afraid of anybody. Plus, if my bf picks up a hitchhiker and they try to rob him or something, he's just as happy to have to defend himself as he is to give somebody in need a ride 😅
man ur a nicer and more loving person than me and i don’t have ASPD; i came here looking for consolation through relatability and now i feel worse like yikes what’s my deal
it's not that we're cruel, we just lack empathy.
@@dubizingler1548 Thank you.
@Josh Toweh na i’m not rude or mean either, his emotional spectrum just sounds a bit broader than mine in some aspects
That's because people who have sociopathic tendencies fake their emotions alot of the time so they come of as overtly nice and caring
You need help mate, get yourself a buddy and let them honestly judge you or ask their opinion. You didn’t came across this video by sure luck but for an answer, your answer is from your past relationships. Go start there
Yeah I definitely feel like it’s just easier to be nice to people. To some degree it makes me feel nice but mostly life is just easier when you’re nice to people because they will likely be nice to you in return. And more likely to do favours, etc.
Thank you for doing this man, really appreciate it, love your stuff👌👌
Grand video. Gave valuable insight :)
When you got to the loving part, that stuck with me. As someone who actually disowned my family and not once have I really felt bad about it and it seems like everyone around me just don’t understand how I can do it so easily. I guess I didn’t really love them, I love their benefit to me. When they treated me horrible they were no benefit anymore and I discarded them. Been over two years and I don’t care and I didn’t the day I told my mom I’m not gonna speak with her again. I never thought of that before really until I saw your video, like it makes sense why it was so easy for me.
I really like your comment and I relate but kinda in the opposite sense where my family really love and support me but I feel almost nothing for them even though they are great to me but I don’t feel bad for feeling nothing. I also have ASPD and as 14 year old it’s hard because people think I’m just being a teen because if even if I tell them I’m diagnosed, they don’t understand how I could be so young without having “genuine” feelings.
you nearly perfectly described my (non)feelings towards My loving and supporting family, and i am so glad to finally see similarities in other people's experiences, so thanks a lot for sharing!
i remember thinking i was adopted for several years as a teen, hoping it would explain why i didn't feel what i was "supposed" to feel, and then, i used to think it's just hormonal changes that'd pass when i "grow up" but i'm in my mid-twenties now and the non-feeling state hasn't changed at all
@@piscer0 It’s funny you mentioned the adopted part. I’ve felt that too and always felt like a misfit.
@@jadi2073 how can you be diagnosed at 14 with ASPD? It has a very specific requirement of being at least 18 with conduct disorder before the age of 15. I’ll guess you’re diagnosed with CD or ODD instead which usually are precursors to ASPD. Like I was ODD as a child, CD as a teen and now ASPD as an adult.
@@DjAmaratziOfficial I’ve been so normalized with ASPD, but I meant CD, I’ve just been going to therapy since I was 8 over an incident and my therapist sees through the fact my behavior and thoughts haven’t changed, so she suspects ASPD very much, but until I’m 18 ofc it’s still unofficial
I lack emotions like CRAZY and i feel the same as you, your video definetely made me feel... not alone i guess, but i dont wanna talk to my parents about this cuz i think they will not support me and they'll think im crazy.
Man, i would have never the willpower to watch 40 minutes of Q&A without a timestamp menu.
This is like, my third comment on your vid cause I love it so much. I relate to a lot of what you're saying. I wish it was more acceptable for people to just be themselves--like when you're talking about the funeral and how you feel happy at them, I wish that people could just let that be instead of wanting everyone to be sad/display sadness.
Your channel has helped me realize that I relate to everything your saying and for the first time I feel at home. I am definitely going to find the right therapists to help me or diagnose me.
“I’m gonna stick it in the front”
I'm very similar to this guy but I subconsciously have a need to lie especially to see people's reactions to whatever poetic story I made up and he says he doesn't do deciet and I feel like I have to in order to live, idk, if he would reply to this comment with some help or some feedback I would appritiate it, also I'm not diagnosed but I have it
Pathological liar? Maybe narcissist? You can easilly get mixed with narcissist, sociopaths, and psychos. A socio can either be or not be a narcissist. All psychos are narcissists.
Thank you for sharing your experience and answering all those questions. I don't have ASPD, but I do experience intrusive thoughts of a highly distressing nature which sometimes tell me I'm a psychopath or sociopath. I think what makes those particular thoughts distressing is obviously the overly stigmatized view that most people have about ASPD and those with it thanks to media. As you said, everything has nuance. However, when I experience those thoughts, at their worst, my thinking turns black and white and I can't see the nuance, thus truly believing at that moment that I'm "bad". Now, logically speaking, and also according to others who've seen me in this state I'm not "bad". I guess what I'm saying is that I think the typical dehumanizing view of ASPD is harmful not only to those with ASPD but to those who may also experience similar distressing thoughts to me. It can turn into a form of self-abuse where we think that we don't deserve basic human rights due to having an accusatory bully inside our minds. Again, thank you for sharing this.
as someone with aspd, this channel is amazing!!
im writing a character that has aspd and this is very helpful, keep the content
Please post more!!
Hello.
This was SOO insightful
would you be willing to talk about what lead you to go to therapy in the first place? I'm really interested in that because I hear most people with aspd dont tend to go to therapy willingly. I feel the same way about a lot of the things you described should I seek treatment on my own or just wait until something negative happens in my life that leads me into the direction of therapy?
Dr Dan Dungus he may not be seeng a therapist. It is very important to question everything he says.
@@fembot521 I agree he may be one of the accounts who plays a psychopath/sociopath/antisocial personality for the views and attention. Its akin to those who are life coaches or even sam vaknin. I've seen these channels come and go mostly becuase they are bored or have some need to feel that their self diagnosis is true and can gain them fame or money. I've had a similar feeling about self diagnosing sociopath but i'd rather just let that be and see a mental health professional (as i am) to see if im right or misdiagnosing myself/not seeing the real problem with my therapist. So if no paperwork is shown to me I pay no attention to these videos anymore.
@@tooturnt8824 Totally right. And little of the people with personality disorders even realize their Problem in the first place.
And Cluster B's especially try to manipulate the therapist. He may has gone to therapy and had psychologist, that didn't know alot about Antisocial behaviour.
I stumbled over this and watching it out of the perspective that he is definetly either lying, told the therapist some shi* and he seems like he has strong NARCISSTIC traits
Hey dude where did you get this awesome background?
Thanks for sharing your ASPD insights. 👍
All my backgrounds so far have been using Wallpaper Engine on Steam
Thanks for doing this.
I'm writing a book series, and I had a eureka moment the other day when I realized that for one of the protagonists, how their friends act around them, how their parents do the same, etc, all click perfectly into place if they are literally a sociopath.
I'm still waffling about the specific flavor of it that they should have ( either extremely high-functioning psychopathy, or high-functioning sociopathy, with a heaping dose of Asperger's (which I have).
This is only the second one I've watched, but your videos have already been extremely helpful in humanizing the condition and telling me what they're actually like, rather than a list of stereotypes to watch out for so I don't accidentally trip on a curb and give one of them my power of attorney or some shit
Love... I think I've felt it for one person. Though it was unhealthy and rather obsessive in nature. I also care about my parents, but same, if they were to do anything majorly controlling such as threaten to cut my free college id likely stop talking to them... good way to think about it. I like them, they are good people, and care for me, but I don't think of them for weeks at a time and have little to no desire to be around them.
I don't think I have ASPD but I relate a lot to what you are saying as somone who struggles with depression. When I'm depressed I feel so dissociated from the "real" world that I don't really feel anything. I'm actually scared when somone makes me sad, cause I know that I can easily stop loving them just as I decided at the first place to do love them. That's weird actually...I feel empathy in general a lot, but sometimes it's just not there and it's kinda awkward cause I try really hard to be honest with people and I don't really like to fake it. Anyway, I think you're a good person actually cause you really try to improve yourself daily it doesn't matter if it's out of empathy or compassion or nothing but an intellectual process but it's more than what most people are willing to do.
You sound like a better person than most neurotypicals!!
Dude you’re awesome and more moral than most neurotypicals :)
This was fascinating!
I don’t have ASPD but I do have other disorders related to it and that can cause it. I honestly think anger is also my strongest emotion. I get really angry sometimes and do things I regret.
I have ASPD too but I fall more under the psychopathic side. There was a lot of overlap but I feel as if I am significantly more manipulative and selfish. My grandiosity often gets the best of me and I completely disregard other people and their emotions. Enjoyed your video, keep em coming
Don't most people disregard people's emotions? Most parents disregard their children. Employers their employees. Friends. Family members to the rest of the family. Why else are people horrible to those who are different?. I feel like aspd is sort of a general trait. At least in the experiences I have had in my life.
How are you like in relationships? Do you fall in love? Are you manipulative and deceitful there too? Do you cheat easily?
Are you still doing Q&As? If so, could you answer if you would mourne or feel grief if your parents died, or whoever you care about the most in your life?
You nailed family love too dig this channel a lot‼️💯
Thank you. This makes me feel normal. And that label of a sociopath scares me but I do exhibit traits. I have lots of control of my emotions and yes! When I don’t “properly” feel it makes me feel bad about myself & YES! It’s so hard for me to see what I view as being honest to others it’s being cold. I also get annoyed when people tell me my honesty hurts them and it’s not me deliberately being an asshole I just don’t give the the emotional reaction they look for. Maybe it is me being an asshole? Lol... but the point is I’m thankful for this channel because it helps me understand that yes I lack empathy but I still hold compassion. Just more logically.
I love your background! It’s comforting.
I havent been tested yet for aspd but the stories of your life have been exactly like my personal experience with this whole thing P.S im only 14
You just took the words out of my mouth.
@The Crippled Miracle You may or may not have ASPD, but have you also looked into alexithymia? I used to think I might be a psychopath, but then later learned I'm autistic with alexithymia. Having talked to other autistic people, it seems to be a common thing to think we may be sociopaths or psychopaths. The basis for this is feeling different from other people, fluctuating/circumstantial empathy, lack of affect display, lack of emotional reactivity in groups, the need to act up our emotions to be socially appropriate, etc.
Maybe you have Conduct disorder? It’s a precursor for ASPD and a lot of people with ASPD had Conduct disorder as children.
I have never been diagnosed but I’m considering it thanks for the insight
The first thing that came to my mind when I heard high functioning sociopath was Raymond Reddington in The Blacklist. Is capable of feeling a deep amount of love for a select few people(Mainly Liz) and become a calm and emotionless cold blooded killer when he needs to be.
I agree sadness is hard to bring out. It’s so hard for me to feel sad. I can only manage to get a tear but I just snap out and get tired of trying and move on with my day. Happiness is super easy to achieve. But for me anger is actually still pretty hard for me to feel. I tell myself in frustrated about not feeling it but then again I don’t feel actual frustration. But i know I want to be. It’s so bothersome. I actually like feeling emotion it’s so exciting
I just feel lonely but not sad my sadness or other bad emotion is changing to anger
Idk is this a part of ASPD im also not an adault im almost 17 and i wasn't diagnosed.Therapist just said that i have lots of those traits and i feel that im loosing control of my self really quickly nobody know that when i was only 13 i wanted to stab someone to death beacause he pissed me of i almost did it but someone stoped me from it and never honestly though about it it was yers ago didin't even manchened with my doctor but when they stoped me i did tried to feel bad for what ive done and it worked out but i reality i felt nothingbad in it it.Im probably waisting your time but just wanted to know from ASPD do i really can have ASPD beacause i don't want to be pur in a prison for murdering someone ty.
@@danieltracz1800 well I can’t really say either. I’m actually around your age. You see a therapist which means you have someone to help you out. You should talk about it more to your therapist. Tell them that. I’m sure they can help out more than I can:)
@@julxxtt oh ok i mean maybe its a good time to mention it how you living in society then
It’s preaty cool with this emotion switch thing. I know that I can choose what others see, like I can seem happy or down or angry and so on, but I never feel the emotion that I am showing. Is this because I’m not trained at all or is it something else?
It’s so annoying how some people in the comments call this out for being fake. It always happens whenever someone does a video trying to genuinely educate people on a disorder. Like bruh, they’re not even qualified to invalidate people’s disorders they have zero understanding of
Thank you for sharing your story
I really appreciate you and this video
I relate completely to this. Being a girl my manipulation skill is extremely crucial to blend in
Can ASPD be developed after mabye a traumatic event in you life such as someone dying that is really close to you at a early age?
Yes
Kinda. Its more related to repeated childhood abise than one traumatic event. Possible? Yes. Usuap? Not at all
30:10 I can disregard my feelings, but I feel like that's something alot of people can do. Am I a sociopath?
: You can try to suppress emotions but only to a certain level. It really depends on the situation. You can try to regulate your emotions but not every time.
If it‘s a really bad situation and you just don‘t feel anything then maybe you are. 😅 I don‘t know.
I do it most of the time and I don't have aspd
There is more nuance to it than just emotional disregard. Not all sociopaths are the same.
lmfao you wish
@@ByMyLonely. every single edgy teenager
people would never believe that i was diagnosed with aspd because how much i love fixing problems.
Im always the person listening to others talk about their problems and really thinking about what they say
I once got off a bus in the middle of a storm to move a tree that fell down and was blocking half the street and for a while i was the only dumbass trying to move the tree until two random passerbies joined me.
There is no empathy tho, empathy is extremely rare, its like trying to fix a computer by troubleshooing soluions
Never have I so related. damn.
Good to know that you also realized that you figured out your lack of empathy when you were 8--
I did too!
Also same about like. feeling bad about not having the correct emotions- I thought I didnt have aspd lol
What you have is actually an advantage compared to the average person.
How do you get a screen like that? I love that.
Is it possible to develop ASPD traits over time? I've experienced emotional trauma (lots of different things) and now I'm almost a completely different person. I would describe myself as being apathetic and very content, I have no close relationships (rarely speak to anyone) I do have the capacity for empathy but I'm not empathetic in action or overly, I do occasionaly have negative emotions but they're dulled and I tend to rationalise them as "nothing". I'm also a bit of a thrill seeker and love the adrenaline rush, and due to my associal traits I have to mask myself in front of people. It's very strange as I didn't know I had the capacity for that level of charisma. Sometimes I even ponder on what to think and say in certain interactions for the best outcome.
To elaborate a bit on my experiences, I had suffered from depression and severe anxiety to the extent that I had relearn social skills (it was like putting on face) I had also dealt with long term isolation and struggled to make strong connections with people (didn't feel that bond). I wasn't like this until my teenage years.
I would love to have a chat with you. Since the age of 13 or something, I've noticed that I am different than other people. Not understanding empathy, having a different though process than other people. I feel like it's gotten worse now, cause I have had depression since that age and have only started taking antidepressants a year ago. So now I can see myself a bit more clearly and have connected the dots of how I was in my childhood and how I am now. I'm thinking of going to a therapist some time soon, when I move out of my parents' house to see what they think about what I feel.
Someone on reddit says they're mighty jealous of you being able to effortlessly control your emotion and wish they're born with sociopath gene too lol. Is there bad effect in being sociopath that I should not be jealous about?
Other than the barely controllable rage at the drop of a hat, you mean?
I don’t know why, but that’s the one most of us can’t seem to get a handle on. Perhaps it’s simply too primal, too pure, too evolutionarily necessary (once upon a time) for us to beat.
Dopamine, also. It’s exhilarating.
The nice thing about being older is that it’s mostly just yelling now, and saying things most would find awful, but it’s no longer directed at anyone specifically.
I think I understand now,someone correct me if im wrong, but ASPD is just like having to have emotions manually, like i just have a mechanism in my brain that does if for me but people with ASPD dont have that machine they have to contiously/semi-contiously control their emotions. Thanks for this I'm very glad I have the opportunity to learn about others, and this video was very informative and thought provking video! and hey I probably spelled somthing wrong, feel free to correct me :)
How do you know? I was diagnosed with Aspergers/Autism back in 2010. But I see myself in a lot of other diagnoses,
Well answered bro, I'm curious to know why you decided to be so honest about these questions? I guess the only logical conclusion I can come up with is for content. It does help others with aspd as well those around them, so I guess it has a positive effect as well.
You've got a sub from me m8. When you said you feel something then turn it off a light bulb went off. Im not diagnosed and have always been confused because I feel things for a brief moment then shut it out to zero. Which made me wonder if I have aspd or just very strong defense mechanisms.
i love "balls of emotion"
Man you are awesome. Thank you for this :)
Btw. Why did you feel a need to get a diagnosis. I am autistic and I did not feel like I needed a diagnosis back then :)
I already have been diagnosed with bpd and I’m pretty sure I have aspd I’m not totally sure but I’m gonna bring it up to my psychologist thanks for making this video ☺️✌️
BPD's when they feel rejected or abandoned turn into secondary psychopaths although they do feel remorse and empathy but still behave in antisocial ways.
@@walkingparadox1574 this 💯
@@psychicstylist just like covert Narcissists turn into primary psychopaths under stress or narcissistic injury, although they don't have empathy nor remorse.. it's crazy to look at the self states from different personality disorders and realize how psychology will never be a science.
@@walkingparadox1574 That's incorrect. Psychology is a type of science. Borderlines don't "turn into secondary psychopaths" that's not a thing. Borderlines behave according to their own disorder, not some other PD. When they're rejected or abandoned, they might split, causing them to view the person rejecting or abandoning them as evil and might express rage or something else. This isn't always the case though. Borderlines actually have a lot of empathy and compassion, but people misunderstand them as evil because of their splitting and strong emotions, plus there's a huge stigma against BPD and all cluster b PDs. What you're saying is ableist and you're spreading false information and further stigmatizing mental health issues. People with BPD are very vulnerable and people who say similar things to you are making them even more vulnerable.
I've never been diagnosed with aspd but I'm almost completely certain I have it, along with other possible disorders. I just can't really be bothered about going and getting a diagnosis, thought about it a couple times. I'm 19, male and i agree with most of what you said though i think im more "cold." No one suspects it from me, when they meet me, though im sure they realize something is off. Most of the time im just seen as a cool, funny dude. In most new situations too people usually talk directly to me more instead of the group as a whole. Who knows, maybe it's just because im possibly narcissistic and have super high confidence. I too can change my emotions when i want. I can miss people, but it's not super strong and i can leave people and have no emotional connection to someone easily. I dont love, it's more like, i have more respect for some than others.
Would you just say you use logic in a social format and its not so much you don’t feel emotions it’s just that you’re more inclined to use logic than emotion to obtain a more self interested goal