I had a therapist that took what I said and accused me of doing something I didn't do. This has made it very difficult to trust therapists. I have never fit in and have spent most of my life alone. At one point I spent so much time alone I actually forgot how to talk and tried to formulate words and was unable to speak. Thank you, Daniel, for your presentations. They are very important and meaningful.
oh no.. i think im going through the same thing you are 😬 ive spent so much time in Isolation and in my head that i cant articulate words well and i stutter
I have a tip that might be helpful. I spend most of my time alone and not to let the linguistic muscle atrophy I read aloud. It's also a great way to familiarise yourself with your own voice, play around with its potential of expression.
It's been a tough pill to swallow for me to realize that good therapists are actually quite hard to come by. I used to have a lot of faith in the mental health field but doing the legwork myself, I've unfortunately have had to face facts...there are a lot of hacks. I'm happy for you Daniel that you've formed some solid friendships. At this point in my life, I don't have anyone in my life that I really trust. The few "friends" I have are the kind of people one has to be very careful around. I have to be very selective about what I choose to share with them. All this has led to quite a solitary life, which I find is safer than pouring my heart out to deadbeat therapists and fake friends.
Reminds me of one of those golden quotes that since I heard it I've always carried it with me; "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society" In a way, the corpus of society at large is so sick, like a creature overtaken by tumours, that the healthy parts of what remains... I'm not gonna say, is doomed - but absolutely is in a precarious situation. Double-bind comes to mind. Let's keep expanding these pockets.
It’s really about your family, and the fact that they made you feel odd, or weird, and unappreciated. When you have parents who love you for being exactly who you are, and especially if they can relate to you, nothing society says or does will shake your sense of who you are. Puberty and adolescence are hard for everyone, even people with the most amazing parents. But once those years are over, you can truly blossom and embrace who you are, as a person. It’s so sad to me that almost no children have that now. Most children don’t even have one parent who truly loves them anymore.
So relatable. I was goaded by a nasty self-loathing friend, a teacher who I was close to and a very dodgy therapist into believing I was autistic. But on going out into the world and meeting many autistics, I discovered I was not autistic at all - I'm really very empathetic and sensitive towards social cues. I am more observant, artistic, curious and open-minded than the average person, but also very socially awkward and shy. They all made that terrible judgement without asking me anything about my really rather traumatic personal history. On realising I had been pathologised by people I trusted without them having an ounce of curiosity to get to know me really hurt my heart for many years, as I had been taken down a completely unnecessary path that just led to more alienation and pain. I have long since cut off from all of them, and I have long since lost all faith in the mental health services for encouraging that gross attitude in people.
You sound a lot like me. I wasn't thought of as being autistic but I researched it myself because of the nagging feeling that there was something wrong about me. Not really or just on the low end of the spectrum. It just feels that way in contrast to what the accepted norm is. I have the same qualities: observant, artistic, curious and open minded. Plus I have a lot of empathy. I still have social anxiety at times - meaning that sometimes I get emotionally triggered by other people. I believe most of this social issue is the result of a toxic upbringing.
You are amazing, thank you for speaking so candidly about your experiences. Certainly validates my own and makes me feel less lonely and crazy in this world. All the best.
Good message. People exploit weakness. Capitalist status striving is built on that. You don't reject yourself anymore. The world is better for that, and you are in a position to help others understand how to survive life's cruelties.
fghfghsrt srthsrthsrt LoL. Capitalism is a large part of this grand design. Exploitation of people’s pain with void and vague promises of healing it, is a great example of capitalism at it finest!
This made me cry. Thank you for speaking about it. I have just started to take my mental health seriously and honoring my differences and it's very heavy and confusing .
Oh wow. You’re past sounds similar to mine. One of the things that helped me recently was taking the Myers Briggs personality test. It helped me with self acceptance, and understanding yes I’m different. I now more easily celebrate who I am... I’m learning to love me, flaws and all. And especially, stay away from toxic people who judge me in the negative!
It's the biggest lie we get told were not good enough unless someone else says so. Were trying to live up to society or someone else expectation and some ppl u will never reach there expectation because they want perfect and no one is.
thank you so much for your work.i wish you to know how much you changed my way of thinking and also you helping me to become a better mom step by step.I can not say enough that im so thankful to you Daniel.You are such an amazing human
Thank you for sharing things about you that are so personal. I have dismissive avoidance attachment and being vulnerable is something that scares me to death.
Oversharing has been my biggest downfall. I’m disturbed by how most people will actually take it as a gain to exploit instead of having empathy. My con growing up was having good grades not fitting the narrative of “intellectually disabled/special needs.” Actually undermining if I did well in math “it didn’t count cause you had help. Not everyone can be good at everything.” I knew as a kid I was being abused and my parents were not being honest, and their friends were blindly accepting and when I was honest about was REALLY happening they reported back. Never understood why they did this. I was the quirky quiet shy and observant child. I knew I was fairly intelligent and self aware though and I desperately wanted to be SEEN. 2 parents, one who got off on humiliating me, the other criticizing me and defining my reality and raging if I disagreed. I grew up queIt and invisible. Wanted to be normal in the sense I could be both authentic and loved. I questioned my family first and then in then questioned the Mormon church and left. The smear was so insulting, because I think everyone would’ve liked the authentic version of me verses traumatized roots. Not being allowed to be outgoing and social and authentic was so traumatic. I did want to be “normal,” in the sense I just wanted to be my authentic else. Not like others per say, but I wanted to connect with others on the basis of having talents and being able to give a lot of love and outpour what I felt for myself. Constantly abused for that. I wished people would question my parents more then they questioned me. I hated living in a world with a blind faith in authority. Captors is so freaking spot on. In my 20’s I started referencing my parents as that. They found out and idk how my mother found out but she was enraged lol. I can’t wait to heal feel safe being authentic. I wanted to be authentic because I could always validate peoole. I was always the very understanding, rarely understood. Thank you for these videos they help me unravel!
'Captors'. That term fits me too. Its difficult to sort through the dysfunction, but these videos and your input make me feel less alone. I had the same experience as you. Thank you for sharing.
as a 17 year old im going through and feeling that same way and i think exactly like you. it hurts to hide and push down my authentic self because people wont take it well. when i try to tell my mom my thoughts and opinions she shuts me down, gets upset when i try to be honest and dominates the conversation. i also have really bad social anxiety, i isolate myself because i cant relate to any of my peers, theyre considered more normal to society. when i gathered the courage to tell my teacher about mental issues im going through i got stigmatized and she sided with my parents. then the look on people's faces when i try to be my real self... and theres is much more to talk about that cant be explained in just a youtube comment. its so painful to deal with all that rejection. daniel's videos and seeing all the youtube commenters relating and sharing their stories keep me sane and let me know im not alone and soon ill get out of here and find the people who understand me ❤️
I think in my case, I got rejected because my voice is too sharp, I question everything, am bad at following context clues, and I ask banal questions just for fun; like, I just enjoy reiterating the obvious to show that I understand and affirm that we’re all on the same page. People out in the world have a mixed reaction to my needless banter prodding them over and over again; sometimes we’re on the same page and we can playfully back-and-forth on a shared task from a distance; other times, the people are actually confused why I’m stating banal points over and over again and wonder if I have listening problems. In my family, since forever, their response was to tell me to “shut the fuck up” or that I was being annoying; but the thing is in my family, everyone is always only half-listening, or talking moot points, or just generally complaining, all the time; “don’t be annoying” was a message I got loud and clear, but I never had the foggiest idea how to talk to people without “being annoying”, and never being taught a healthy alternative, I just taught myself to shut up and not say what I’m thinking, and just be silently useful as much as possible. I have only two modes, I’m either deathly silent ball of anxiety, or I’m a loud-mouth megaphone who chatters high volume without a filter. I’m terrified of being annoying, but I also feel tangible pain in my chest when I notice I’m specifically suppressing a thought. I think the thing is I could be a skilled orator or singer even, but I have so little practice on how to apply that in a way that won’t upset others.
Kudos to you Daniel, for the development of your "spidey powers"of discernment. You are such a breath of fresh air, I'm beyond grateful to have found you. Thank you for the gift of your authentic self. Love and blessings ✨️
I've said it before...if you find you're not fitting in this world, it may have more to do with what is right with you than what is wrongs with you. I do regret how long it took me to figure that out though.
I was just thinking about this! Specifically about how important it is to call people by their chosen pronouns. They may just feel different, and it is very meaningful and profound to honor that difference.
Thanks for sharing how "different" you are, that you don't need to be "cured". It helped me to see that "different" is how we are supposed to be. For years I have researched psychological reasons why I don't fit in - parental divorce, alcoholic stepfather, depression, HSP, emotional abuse (revised to emotional neglect), autism? ADHD? But maybe I'm just like you, MATURE, self-reflective, interested in being my authentic self, actively fighting against a world/society that seeks to transform the beautiful self I am into a twisted human unable to love self and help others. A shout out of thanks to all of you who watch these self healing channels. Together we are making a better world. Thank you Daniel.
I am so glad you've embraced your authentic self and are paving the way for others who watch your videos to know that it's okay to be different. I knew from a young age that I was a "non-conformist" and although I had mixed feelings about not fitting in, I didn't want to lose my sense of self by trying to be someone I wasn't.
Daniel have you ever seen the show, “The Kindness Diaries?” I think you would really appreciate it. The guy in it reminds me of you. You should check it out sometime!🙂
Thank you once again for your channel. I really appreciate finding someone who is willing to point out how messed up our societies can be. Ive always felt different and for the longest time I hated it. Now finally I accept it as something good for me too.
Great video! I certainly relate to your issue of being different. I have always felt different and I'm a senior now. The really weird confusing thing about it is that I feel that I'm more normal than many other people. In part due to my toxic upbringing I'm very empathetic. This should be a normal thing but it isn't. I don't value being shallow, avoiding talking about anything of a feeling or intellectual nature and only being allowed to talk about surface mundane things. I value authenticity. To me, a lot of people seem as if they are retarded, yet they are considered the normal ones.
I also think I didn’t fit into basic categories of acceptability. In particular, I wasn’t “seen” AT ALL by family or elsewhere, which is actually a very strange thing to experience. Your view of not being taught to “honour” ourselves and our differences struck home. It can take a lot of courage and pain and self-love to journey home to accept and enjoy who we truly are. There may be barriers and experiences in adult life, sometimes vicious, that one must go through (well I did) too.
The world is effectively divided in three kinds of people: people who are adamant about staying in power, people who don't care about power, and the inbetweeners. I personally have never been able to give a rat a$$ about people, "society" and "normies" at large, but I have had to learn to work/navigate their world so that I can go about my own business with as little interference from them as possible. Though, I have been told on many occasions throughout my life that I am "not ordinary", I don't believe in exceptionalism or being special. I happen to have specific personal goals and will I do everything I can to achieve them with as little negative footprint as I can. I'm not perfect, I'm just working hard on being me. :)
I have often wished I did not stick out in the various ways that made me different, and I've disliked and even hated myself for my social unacceptability. It's not easy. But, I have a good example of self-reconciliation with Daniel.
The differences you describe are the hallmark traits of giftedness. Research in the area of giftedness shows that intelligence (assuming a strong rlationship btw IQ measurements and intelligence which isn't exactly easy to prove) is not a bell curve. On the left side and in the middle the plot shows many shared traits so it starts as a bell. But right side of the plot is a scatter plot. The higher the IQ or stronger the evidence of giftedness, the more different from EACH OTHER people are. The known traits of gifted people are higher intensity, strong and long focus, more intense emotional experiences, extreme empathy, anxiety over the state of the world from an early age, extremely ethical thinking and behavior from an early age, sensory sensitivity, relentless questioning and introspection, love of complexity, early and fast verbal development or delayed but weirdly complete once it appears, fast vocabulary building, interest in accuracy or expression, focus on new information, early meta-cognition. Giftedness is way more than a fast brain. It's a whole, highly unique nervous system. And like all very sophisticated equipment, if it is mistreated, the problems become very intricate and complex very quickly.
My life has been an still is different than the majority of males. Even now in recovery. Being different is both good and bad. What is Normal? If i went into details and let the skeltons out of the closet in my recovery videos, most would be shocked. There is very little that I have not done or seen.
It’s your high levels of intuition and empathy that makes you different, Daniel. From what I’ve read, combined with what I’ve observed, people like you are born to mothers who experienced a moderate degree of psychological stress during pregnancy. If the mother experiences a high degree of stress, her male children will be born with very feminine personalities, and her female children, with very masculine personalities(primary psychopaths). If a mother experiences a very low level of stress during pregnancy, her male offspring will have masculine personalities(primary psychopath), and her female children will have very feminine personalities. The easiest way for me to differentiate the three possible base personality types are: ISFJ(feminine), ESTP(masculine), and INFJ(mix of masculine and feminine). The latter is you, and me, and a small percentage of other people in the world. What causes the mothers stress is almost always, or always, how she feels about herself and/or how she feels about her partner. Depending on the woman, and her personality type, she will focus more, or less, on how she feels about herself, at least until she starts to love herself completely. If she is an ESTP or an ISFJ, she will focus more on how she feels about her partner. INFJ mothers will almost never have children whose personality type doesn’t align with their sex, or isn’t at least a combination(INFJ), because she never hates herself, even during the very anxious/depressed periods of her life, which are usually gone by the time she’s 20-25. My oldest daughter is on the border of INFJ and ISFJ, though she’s changed a lot since she was a baby(for the better), due to my ending the relationship I had with her father, who is a sociopath. My son is very very INFJ, due to the stress/tension that existed between me and my husband during my pregnancy with him. And my youngest daughter is very ISFJ, due to how low my stress levels were during my pregnancy with her. By the time she was conceived, I was very content with myself and my relationship with my husband.
Very interesting to consider the stress state of the mother while pregnant, as well as the impact of the mother wound (mother's negative self-image passed down through generations). My two daughters are more masculine than girly-girl.
I see your view here as perhaps swinging toward the Right, as opposed to the Left.. The contemporary left wanting homogenization, and the contemporary right valuing individuation.. (trends on either side can blur the distinctions here, however) though these are two respectable strategies in the end
I don’t buy this one...I don’t feel everyone wants “normal”... whatever normal is. In fact, I dislike the term normal because it is such a subjective term and there isn’t even a good definition for it. People can accept you and there can even be great friendships with one who doesn’t go by all the rules. There are liars, cheaters, criminals, psychopaths, prisoners and on & on, who have good bonds with people and are accepted despite their poor character. What I like best about my friends are their a little quirks. I would hate perfect because it would make me feel less than... and inferior. What can you talk about and even have in common with a perfect person anyway? It would be really boring. I don’t mind peoples flaws. It makes them stand out in a crowd. It makes them so much more interesting. Being perfect would be a lot of pressure to put on someone... and something no one can live up to.
Well man, your followers love you for who you really are, your honesty and deepest insight are sooo precious in their uniqueness!
I didn’t fit in either and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to adjust to a sick society.
It might have been our subconscious’s way of saving us from getting swallowed into a corrupt culture.
@@pod9363 I like seeing your comments on this channel
I had a therapist that took what I said and accused me of doing something I didn't do. This has made it very difficult to trust therapists. I have never fit in and have spent most of my life alone. At one point I spent so much time alone I actually forgot how to talk and tried to formulate words and was unable to speak. Thank you, Daniel, for your presentations. They are very important and meaningful.
oh no.. i think im going through the same thing you are 😬 ive spent so much time in Isolation and in my head that i cant articulate words well and i stutter
I have a tip that might be helpful. I spend most of my time alone and not to let the linguistic muscle atrophy I read aloud. It's also a great way to familiarise yourself with your own voice, play around with its potential of expression.
It's been a tough pill to swallow for me to realize that good therapists are actually quite hard to come by. I used to have a lot of faith in the mental health field but doing the legwork myself, I've unfortunately have had to face facts...there are a lot of hacks. I'm happy for you Daniel that you've formed some solid friendships. At this point in my life, I don't have anyone in my life that I really trust. The few "friends" I have are the kind of people one has to be very careful around. I have to be very selective about what I choose to share with them. All this has led to quite a solitary life, which I find is safer than pouring my heart out to deadbeat therapists and fake friends.
Reminds me of one of those golden quotes that since I heard it I've always carried it with me; "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society"
In a way, the corpus of society at large is so sick, like a creature overtaken by tumours, that the healthy parts of what remains... I'm not gonna say, is doomed - but absolutely is in a precarious situation. Double-bind comes to mind.
Let's keep expanding these pockets.
“They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.”
― Nathaniel Lee
It’s really about your family, and the fact that they made you feel odd, or weird, and unappreciated. When you have parents who love you for being exactly who you are, and especially if they can relate to you, nothing society says or does will shake your sense of who you are. Puberty and adolescence are hard for everyone, even people with the most amazing parents. But once those years are over, you can truly blossom and embrace who you are, as a person. It’s so sad to me that almost no children have that now. Most children don’t even have one parent who truly loves them anymore.
Thank you for continuing to share your perspective on life! I am grateful for your commitment to authenticity.
Hey you look kinda like him! And your name is also Daniel and you also wear glasses. Also your last starts with an m just like him!
My experience in so many ways. Such a necessary lesson. Thanks.
So relatable. I was goaded by a nasty self-loathing friend, a teacher who I was close to and a very dodgy therapist into believing I was autistic. But on going out into the world and meeting many autistics, I discovered I was not autistic at all - I'm really very empathetic and sensitive towards social cues. I am more observant, artistic, curious and open-minded than the average person, but also very socially awkward and shy. They all made that terrible judgement without asking me anything about my really rather traumatic personal history. On realising I had been pathologised by people I trusted without them having an ounce of curiosity to get to know me really hurt my heart for many years, as I had been taken down a completely unnecessary path that just led to more alienation and pain. I have long since cut off from all of them, and I have long since lost all faith in the mental health services for encouraging that gross attitude in people.
You sound a lot like me. I wasn't thought of as being autistic but I researched it myself because of the nagging feeling that there was something wrong about me. Not really or just on the low end of the spectrum. It just feels that way in contrast to what the accepted norm is. I have the same qualities: observant, artistic, curious and open minded. Plus I have a lot of empathy. I still have social anxiety at times - meaning that sometimes I get emotionally triggered by other people. I believe most of this social issue is the result of a toxic upbringing.
@@browncatwithblurredbackgro2461 What makes you feel that way?
You are amazing, thank you for speaking so candidly about your experiences. Certainly validates my own and makes me feel less lonely and crazy in this world. All the best.
Good message. People exploit weakness. Capitalist status striving is built on that. You don't reject yourself anymore. The world is better for that, and you are in a position to help others understand how to survive life's cruelties.
Our society almost encourages narcissism it’s sick.
can we stop talking about capitalism in trauma setting
capitalism didn't cause your trauma, your parents did
fghfghsrt srthsrthsrt LoL. Capitalism is a large part of this grand design. Exploitation of people’s pain with void and vague promises of healing it, is a great example of capitalism at it finest!
@@Barbara_Banks_1 no it isn't. Stop it.
@@fghfghsrtsrthsrthsrt5968 totally agree.
This made me cry. Thank you for speaking about it. I have just started to take my mental health seriously and honoring my differences and it's very heavy and confusing .
Oh wow. You’re past sounds similar to mine. One of the things that helped me recently was taking the Myers Briggs personality test. It helped me with self acceptance, and understanding yes I’m different. I now more easily celebrate who I am... I’m learning to love me, flaws and all. And especially, stay away from toxic people who judge me in the negative!
INFJ?
It's the biggest lie we get told were not good enough unless someone else says so. Were trying to live up to society or someone else expectation and some ppl u will never reach there expectation because they want perfect and no one is.
thank you so much for your work.i wish you to know how much you changed my way of thinking and also you helping me to become a better mom step by step.I can not say enough that im so thankful to you Daniel.You are such an amazing human
Thank you for sharing things about you that are so personal. I have dismissive avoidance attachment and being vulnerable is something that scares me to death.
Oversharing has been my biggest downfall. I’m disturbed by how most people will actually take it as a gain to exploit instead of having empathy. My con growing up was having good grades not fitting the narrative of “intellectually disabled/special needs.” Actually undermining if I did well in math “it didn’t count cause you had help. Not everyone can be good at everything.” I knew as a kid I was being abused and my parents were not being honest, and their friends were blindly accepting and when I was honest about was REALLY happening they reported back. Never understood why they did this. I was the quirky quiet shy and observant child. I knew I was fairly intelligent and self aware though and I desperately wanted to be SEEN. 2 parents, one who got off on humiliating me, the other criticizing me and defining my reality and raging if I disagreed. I grew up queIt and invisible. Wanted to be normal in the sense I could be both authentic and loved. I questioned my family first and then in then questioned the Mormon church and left. The smear was so insulting, because I think everyone would’ve liked the authentic version of me verses traumatized roots. Not being allowed to be outgoing and social and authentic was so traumatic. I did want to be “normal,” in the sense I just wanted to be my authentic else. Not like others per say, but I wanted to connect with others on the basis of having talents and being able to give a lot of love and outpour what I felt for myself. Constantly abused for that. I wished people would question my parents more then they questioned me. I hated living in a world with a blind faith in authority. Captors is so freaking spot on. In my 20’s I started referencing my parents as that. They found out and idk how my mother found out but she was enraged lol. I can’t wait to heal feel safe being authentic. I wanted to be authentic because I could always validate peoole. I was always the very understanding, rarely understood. Thank you for these videos they help me unravel!
'Captors'. That term fits me too. Its difficult to sort through the dysfunction, but these videos and your input make me feel less alone. I had the same experience as you. Thank you for sharing.
"I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not"
@@Kornhulio18 - me too :)
as a 17 year old im going through and feeling that same way and i think exactly like you. it hurts to hide and push down my authentic self because people wont take it well. when i try to tell my mom my thoughts and opinions she shuts me down, gets upset when i try to be honest and dominates the conversation. i also have really bad social anxiety, i isolate myself because i cant relate to any of my peers, theyre considered more normal to society. when i gathered the courage to tell my teacher about mental issues im going through i got stigmatized and she sided with my parents. then the look on people's faces when i try to be my real self... and theres is much more to talk about that cant be explained in just a youtube comment. its so painful to deal with all that rejection. daniel's videos and seeing all the youtube commenters relating and sharing their stories keep me sane and let me know im not alone and soon ill get out of here and find the people who understand me ❤️
also "i was always the very understanding, rarely understood" part was spot on!
your videos always make me go PERIOD, out loud to myself loll, u go Mackler
You're always an inspiration, Daniel.
I think in my case, I got rejected because my voice is too sharp, I question everything, am bad at following context clues, and I ask banal questions just for fun; like, I just enjoy reiterating the obvious to show that I understand and affirm that we’re all on the same page. People out in the world have a mixed reaction to my needless banter prodding them over and over again; sometimes we’re on the same page and we can playfully back-and-forth on a shared task from a distance; other times, the people are actually confused why I’m stating banal points over and over again and wonder if I have listening problems. In my family, since forever, their response was to tell me to “shut the fuck up” or that I was being annoying; but the thing is in my family, everyone is always only half-listening, or talking moot points, or just generally complaining, all the time; “don’t be annoying” was a message I got loud and clear, but I never had the foggiest idea how to talk to people without “being annoying”, and never being taught a healthy alternative, I just taught myself to shut up and not say what I’m thinking, and just be silently useful as much as possible. I have only two modes, I’m either deathly silent ball of anxiety, or I’m a loud-mouth megaphone who chatters high volume without a filter. I’m terrified of being annoying, but I also feel tangible pain in my chest when I notice I’m specifically suppressing a thought. I think the thing is I could be a skilled orator or singer even, but I have so little practice on how to apply that in a way that won’t upset others.
My childhood, life, like you in some ways..thanks for making great videos when I feel isolated and alone.
I relate so much
Wow, thanks....
What a gem... every single word
I think it is your unusual intelligence and dedication to the truth. By the way, I am a subscriber and wrote that before watching the video.
Wow I have tried to be camouflaged my whole life as well ♥️🌈🙏 thank you for the new perspective
Jeeeee, I second that!
Freeeedom at last! 🤸♀️
Kudos to you Daniel, for the development of your "spidey powers"of discernment. You are such a breath of fresh air, I'm beyond grateful to have found you. Thank you for the gift of your authentic self.
Love and blessings ✨️
I've said it before...if you find you're not fitting in this world, it may have more to do with what is right with you than what is wrongs with you. I do regret how long it took me to figure that out though.
I was just thinking about this! Specifically about how important it is to call people by their chosen pronouns. They may just feel different, and it is very meaningful and profound to honor that difference.
The word "honor" is curious to me... What does honor personally mean to you, philosophically/morally? Your own version of "honor" vs deep respect?
Most people hate authenticity
Thanks for sharing how "different" you are, that you don't need to be "cured". It helped me to see that "different" is how we are supposed to be. For years I have researched psychological reasons why I don't fit in - parental divorce, alcoholic stepfather, depression, HSP, emotional abuse (revised to emotional neglect), autism? ADHD? But maybe I'm just like you, MATURE, self-reflective, interested in being my authentic self, actively fighting against a world/society that seeks to transform the beautiful self I am into a twisted human unable to love self and help others. A shout out of thanks to all of you who watch these self healing channels. Together we are making a better world. Thank you Daniel.
I am so glad you've embraced your authentic self and are paving the way for others who watch your videos to know that it's okay to be different. I knew from a young age that I was a "non-conformist" and although I had mixed feelings about not fitting in, I didn't want to lose my sense of self by trying to be someone I wasn't.
Daniel have you ever seen the show, “The Kindness Diaries?” I think you would really appreciate it. The guy in it reminds me of you. You should check it out sometime!🙂
Thank you once again for your channel. I really appreciate finding someone who is willing to point out how messed up our societies can be. Ive always felt different and for the longest time I hated it. Now finally I accept it as something good for me too.
Great video! I certainly relate to your issue of being different. I have always felt different and I'm a senior now. The really weird confusing thing about it is that I feel that I'm more normal than many other people. In part due to my toxic upbringing I'm very empathetic. This should be a normal thing but it isn't. I don't value being shallow, avoiding talking about anything of a feeling or intellectual nature and only being allowed to talk about surface mundane things. I value authenticity. To me, a lot of people seem as if they are retarded, yet they are considered the normal ones.
I also think I didn’t fit into basic categories of acceptability. In particular, I wasn’t “seen” AT ALL by family or elsewhere, which is actually a very strange thing to experience.
Your view of not being taught to “honour” ourselves and our differences struck home. It can take a lot of courage and pain and self-love to journey home to accept and enjoy who we truly are.
There may be barriers and experiences in adult life, sometimes vicious, that one must go through (well I did) too.
The world is effectively divided in three kinds of people: people who are adamant about staying in power, people who don't care about power, and the inbetweeners.
I personally have never been able to give a rat a$$ about people, "society" and "normies" at large, but I have had to learn to work/navigate their world so that I can go about my own business with as little interference from them as possible.
Though, I have been told on many occasions throughout my life that I am "not ordinary", I don't believe in exceptionalism or being special. I happen to have specific personal goals and will I do everything I can to achieve them with as little negative footprint as I can.
I'm not perfect, I'm just working hard on being me. :)
Brutal honesty is beautiful. Thanks, Daniel
I have often wished I did not stick out in the various ways that made me different, and I've disliked and even hated myself for my social unacceptability. It's not easy. But, I have a good example of self-reconciliation with Daniel.
Yes... DISCERNMENT is the watchword when it comes to our interactions. We have two ears and one mouth for a good reason. Great video.
Thank YOU for being YOU 🙏
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. . I AM DIFFERENT in so many ways ~ and that’s ok 🤗🌷
The differences you describe are the hallmark traits of giftedness. Research in the area of giftedness shows that intelligence (assuming a strong rlationship btw IQ measurements and intelligence which isn't exactly easy to prove) is not a bell curve. On the left side and in the middle the plot shows many shared traits so it starts as a bell. But right side of the plot is a scatter plot. The higher the IQ or stronger the evidence of giftedness, the more different from EACH OTHER people are.
The known traits of gifted people are higher intensity, strong and long focus, more intense emotional experiences, extreme empathy, anxiety over the state of the world from an early age, extremely ethical thinking and behavior from an early age, sensory sensitivity, relentless questioning and introspection, love of complexity, early and fast verbal development or delayed but weirdly complete once it appears, fast vocabulary building, interest in accuracy or expression, focus on new information, early meta-cognition.
Giftedness is way more than a fast brain. It's a whole, highly unique nervous system. And like all very sophisticated equipment, if it is mistreated, the problems become very intricate and complex very quickly.
My life has been an still is different than the majority of males. Even now in recovery. Being different is both good and bad. What is Normal? If i went into details and let the skeltons out of the closet in my recovery videos, most would be shocked. There is very little that I have not done or seen.
Yes! 🙌❤️ “pockets of truth” exactly! 🙏☺️ (ps- there is no such thing as normal!Normal Sucks!👈Great book btw)😗👌 📖
Wow! I do relate! 🙏🏻
There will always be difference.
sooo…. appreciate you.
Yes, this resonates with me and thank you!!! 🙏🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻What a coincidence this video is, just after I learned that I have an INFJ type personality. 😂
It’s your high levels of intuition and empathy that makes you different, Daniel. From what I’ve read, combined with what I’ve observed, people like you are born to mothers who experienced a moderate degree of psychological stress during pregnancy. If the mother experiences a high degree of stress, her male children will be born with very feminine personalities, and her female children, with very masculine personalities(primary psychopaths). If a mother experiences a very low level of stress during pregnancy, her male offspring will have masculine personalities(primary psychopath), and her female children will have very feminine personalities. The easiest way for me to differentiate the three possible base personality types are: ISFJ(feminine), ESTP(masculine), and INFJ(mix of masculine and feminine). The latter is you, and me, and a small percentage of other people in the world. What causes the mothers stress is almost always, or always, how she feels about herself and/or how she feels about her partner. Depending on the woman, and her personality type, she will focus more, or less, on how she feels about herself, at least until she starts to love herself completely. If she is an ESTP or an ISFJ, she will focus more on how she feels about her partner. INFJ mothers will almost never have children whose personality type doesn’t align with their sex, or isn’t at least a combination(INFJ), because she never hates herself, even during the very anxious/depressed periods of her life, which are usually gone by the time she’s 20-25. My oldest daughter is on the border of INFJ and ISFJ, though she’s changed a lot since she was a baby(for the better), due to my ending the relationship I had with her father, who is a sociopath. My son is very very INFJ, due to the stress/tension that existed between me and my husband during my pregnancy with him. And my youngest daughter is very ISFJ, due to how low my stress levels were during my pregnancy with her. By the time she was conceived, I was very content with myself and my relationship with my husband.
Very interesting to consider the stress state of the mother while pregnant, as well as the impact of the mother wound (mother's negative self-image passed down through generations). My two daughters are more masculine than girly-girl.
Watch David Mackler's videos after watching the soft white belly channel! It will blow your mind!!!
Preach
i now feel sorry for "the paycheck" people. of course i had to find my own take on the $ issue. blagh. did it my way....
me too
💜!
What "Born differences" is he referring to?
Made me laugh how you said "ew! disturbing."
Sames
I see your view here as perhaps swinging toward the Right, as opposed to the Left.. The contemporary left wanting homogenization, and the contemporary right valuing individuation.. (trends on either side can blur the distinctions here, however) though these are two respectable strategies in the end
I don’t buy this one...I don’t feel everyone wants “normal”... whatever normal is. In fact, I dislike the term normal because it is such a subjective term and there isn’t even a good definition for it. People can accept you and there can even be great friendships with one who doesn’t go by all the rules. There are liars, cheaters, criminals, psychopaths, prisoners and on & on, who have good bonds with people and are accepted despite their poor character. What I like best about my friends are their a little quirks. I would hate perfect because it would make me feel less than... and inferior. What can you talk about and even have in common with a perfect person anyway? It would be really boring. I don’t mind peoples flaws. It makes them stand out in a crowd. It makes them so much more interesting. Being perfect would be a lot of pressure to put on someone... and something no one can live up to.
IDK if you respond to these Mr. Mackler but I'd like to know your POV on Internal Family Systems if you have one! :)
you're some version of NF from the MBTI
I'm an INFP, so I know what I'm talking about
as a queer woman of color, i feel this lol
My story