What to do When Someone's Words Hurt You
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2014
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I was once so hurt that i found it difficult to breathe because of how sore my heart felt. Be considerate with your words please ❤
xx xx me too! I know how you feel
I'm the same way. Her advice is excellent. People can only hurt me with their words if I take it in. If I don't catch the ball I can deflect their words is a representative of them not an accurate description of meit means that they're in pain their out of control their unconscious of their actions I won't incorporate that into myself.
Im also like that when a bully’s words hurt me
I watched this because I'm always hurt by what people say. When I've discussed it with them I'm told I'm over sensitive. So when I've tried to stand up for myself I'm met with more negativity.
The lesson I've learned today is to make the choice not to allow their negativity into my space. I don't know how to do thus, I don't know the practical part of not allowing the hurt to happen when I'm not reacting to their words. This is my next lesson, don't react, but find out how not to dwell on the words.
I guess I get frustrated because the person doesn't learn not to behave that way in the first place. But that's more about me.
I was on a competition today and the words the judge said hurt me soo much that I also felt that I could not breathe
They may not realize it's hurtful but it really is
Agreed.
yes it is..
Yes
YOU ARE SO RIGHT"HURT"PEOPLE "HURT PEOPLE!.
Indeed! 💗
So true. I've noticed that with people who are hurt. When you hurt me I just smile at you.
That’s sad
exactly!!!
And little people belittle people
allow yourself to not like some people
Yes, totally valid, it's okay not to like people :) We're not all designed to "gel" with everyone.
I have always beat myself up because I don't like very many people. Have a few close people I love and trust but don't really care for shallow relationships.Good to read this.
yes! ❤️
sometimes people just say things on purpose to make you upset and thats what has happened to me. most times i stay silent but it really bites at me and i cant stop thinking about it
same with mine. My co-worker makes fun of me and I just laugh with them but with sadness in my heart
Send huge amounts of love to yourself. Keep sending yourself love over and over. Eventually, it won't hurt or bother you what others say.
I spent all morning crying and my heart was pierced with pain over a few words someone said to me, thank you for putting it in perspective. Its ok to disassociate with people that hurt you though right? Even if it is family?
You're welcome, I am glad this offered some helpful perspectives. And yes it is okay to detach from people that hurt you. That is your free will choice. Sometimes that might be family. Though I would just suggest - be as consciously aware as you can be in making any decisions about that... try to get to a space of calm and stillness (e.g with meditation) and ask your heart what is really the right thing to do, and the timing. Sometimes we want to detach out of pain, or out of ego, and we aren't healed enough yet to find a positive way forward in those relationships. Other times, we are very aware and it's a conscious and peaceful choice to detach from certain people. Only you will know. Also - it helps sometimes if you are moving away from people in your life who hurt you, to know in your heart that you are doing that for now because it serves your peace and wellbeing, but that you might choose to remain open to reconciliation in future if things change. This creates space for the future for new possibilities. It's just a perspective to hold rather than words to be said. I hope that helps. Best wishes, Bernadette
magdelene2001 thank you I want people to to know that most people hurt but you can't let those word hurt you self confidence. Like she say don't let the word sink in take them out so don't take the bait. So positive and do nothing and say nothing because the more you try to get the bait the more those people are going to tough at the line..
Ps: sorry for bad English I'm from Spain 🇪🇸😲
magdelene2001 Iam everyday like that , I hate my life Iam just staying in this life for some resons if their wasn’t anything I would just kill myself 😭 but this vid kinda helped me
magdelene2001 just happened to me and a family member but she was wrong the way she was talking to me. F herself
@@itz_me_joan1347 I wish that you may achieve peace and happiness in your life. May things get better for you and that you may appreciate and love your life. I don't know how helpful this will be, but please try listening to J.Cole - Love Yourz. This song puts a lot of things into perspective, especially on the concept of being grateful.
It is better to not get pulled into their attitude, but it is hard when it's your family and they always use you as the punching bag emotionally.
I stayed silent when people were abusive. Just saying you chose not receive it doesn't help. I believe you should stand up for yourself. Tell people it hurts and you don't want to receive it. I stayed silent for years. It does hurt.
Hey Helen, yes totally, there are situations when you need to set boundaries, communicate clearly what is and is not acceptable. I have other videos for situations that involve ongoing relationship issues, which are more applicable to what you're describing. This video is in the context of general day to day situations, passing moments, not ongoing relationship issues nor abuse, so I appreciate your comment and hope that clarification makes sense. If there are any particular resources you are looking for, let me know as I can share links to other vids if that's useful. Sending best wishes! Bernadette
5th dimension I found setting my boundaries and being honest with how they made me feel changed a lot of relationships in my life. So I'll stand by what I say. I don't find it to be resistance.
Staying silent feels like you are agreeing with them doesn't it?
Helen Williams i totally agree with you. I know what you felt cuz im going through tht now . But the thing is i dont how to stand up for people who hurt me everyday
@@Bernadette_Logue Hi B, I thought this video was very helpful. Can you direct me to the other videos you have for situations that involve ongoing relationship issues? Please and thank you!
You can only hurt yourself. There is no word that has power or meaning until you give it that power.
Not true, words can hurt. And it’s not because you gave it permission to hurt you.
This guy that was leading me on said “I don’t want to miss out on my dream girl if I’m tied down to you” I still cry when I say it aloud tbh 😞
I’m so sorry I know just how that feels 😢
He is not worth it he did you a favor. One day you will find a wonderful kind person who loves and respects you.
What??????? I can't even form a coherent response to such cruelty. I'm just blinking at the screen. I hope that you are doing well these days and please know what he said is a reflection on him, not you. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be hurt. Sending you so many good thoughts and wishing for so many blessings for you!
Some people end up married to people like that. Afterwhile, I hope it doesn't hurt as badly as it does now. I'm so sorry someone was such a heartless fool.
I've been struggling with this for a very long time. This method of detachment is definetely the most helpful in dealing with rude people. Great advice.
Glad this was helpful 😊
I was so used, I had to provide everything, nothing but the best. Once I gave my all, I got scratched, bitten, and left alone until she needed more of what I had to give. I've learned my lesson. Next time I will think twice before I adopt another cat. Dogs are loyal, and enjoy human company.
I as a rule don't say things to hurt others because it creates negative energy and that reverberates in the zeitgeist....it comes back. Instead I go out of my way to project positivity...hoping that it will likewise reverberate.
tell that to haters they just enjoy hating u cnt help that
Words hurt but that doesn't stop people from expressing themselves and being mean. It's just life.
My brother said all hurtful words to me all the time but dr. phil once said "You need to be your own best friend" and thanks to you i'm going to empower myself
That's great wisdom and a powerful choice and I send you very best wishes!
I started this video still shaking from being so upset... By the 7th minute, I felt so much more calm. I hope to remember your advice when the moment arises again...
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Definitely thats the most difficult thing. 😣 I will also try.
When my boyfriend said Bad words to me I don’t say anything bad I just go somewhere and cry alone
You can't imagine how you helped me today. Thank you. You really helped me to heal my heart, I was feeling very hurted. I feel really better now.
🤗💛
As a sales person, I have to say, I do not look to get a rise out of customers... I don't throw them bait. If anything a lot of times I feel like it can be the other way around. I love your videos and use your tips all the time. I listen to the affirmations with my headset on my way to work. It sometimes gets me through the day. Thank you for your amazing leadership. But it goes both ways!! Sometimes people get bad customer service because, frankly they're just bad customers.
Hey Holly, that is so true, and you're spot on. I remember working in retail many, many years ago and experiencing the same thing! Being in customer service certainly requires some conscious presence and patience. I love that you raised that, as every situation, no matter what role we play personally or professionally is an opportunity to practice a) not taking the bait and b) not creating and fishing for reactions. Thank you for being here sharing your insight on my videos. Sending you warmest wishes! B :)
Thank you Bernadette I try practising this all though sometimes I have taken the bait . I will try to be more aware because I hate negativity it is too much of a drain on your energy.
This video help me a lot! I was about to commit suicide because one of my family members said many things of me that hurt me and I just didn't knew how to deal with the pain. But thanks to this video i am more calm and trying not to receive those negative comments in my life! Stay strong everyone and God bless❤
Life needs you, always! If you ever feel in a dark place, always come back here to our community and reconnect. Your life is SO valuable, and you are valued. No matter how tough a situation is, there is ALWAYS hope and light available. Wishing you peace and sending love. Bernadette
How are you today?
Thank you for this ❤️ I had a negative experience today that has had me reeling for hours. Your video literally has lifted a weight off my chest as you spoke.
💛 love and peace to you. B
Thank you for this video. It helped me put things in perspective. As someone who goes out of his way to practice kindness, it's always a shock to me when I come across negative people in business. I forget that they are unconscious and tend to blame myself for their projections.
Glad this was helpful. Best wishes! B
Today I went to the Oahu cemetery with my sister to visit her friend's grave. The graveyard closes at 6 p.m. and we were few minutes away from our car and the gatekeeper and Overseer of the graveyard yelled at me, telling me to hurry up! When obviously they saw us rushing to our car. I felt they were rude. Visiting a friend who is deceased is a sensitive time. I really didn't appreciate that. The Overseer of the Graveyard acts like she owns the place.
no one can give offense. you can only take it.
Lately it is not the words in itself that hurt me, but the fact that someone else is bullying me in order to feel better about themselves. It causes a feeling of anger within me.
Like.... I am being so careful to not let my shitty emotions bleed on others. Choosing to be better. They can do the same if they would only choose to be accountable for their crap.
I am done being the emotional punchingbag of emotionally immature people.
People may say words of rejection which may be hurtful
Went to purchase my first car yesterday and on the way out to look at the vehicle my grandma started going in about how she has better shit to do and my problems weren't hers etc. Really would have been nicer without her around. She basically stole any excitement I had right out of me. I'm 27 and have needed this for a while. I didn't imagine the day I got a car finally would be anything like that.
Good teaching, it seems like when am having a certain problem,am always moved to the exact video that I need to hear. Thank you,
Same
Godscience DNA Music Productions that's God!!
This is good advice even for children. Parents say "Don't pay attention" when their child is teased at school. This lady gave a good explanation of why that should be done.
Mom say me such things that make me breathless, it sores my heart sm
Don’t have anything else to do with them, their is other people that are better people that needs your friendship
When someone says something hurtful to me I either keep silent and give them a stoic stare, or I say something like
“You have hurt me with those words before, but you’re no longer able to hurt me...because I won’t take the bait.!”
I’m getting over a nasty break up. I said mean things after being abused, lied to, and told I was a piece of crap for the last year. She called the police and pressed a charge of harassment. A week later, today, she messaged me threatening me and intimidating me telling me not to go to court. And when I told her to stop, she continued to call me weak and said she slept with 3 people to get over me. It’s destroying me cuz I’m letting it. I believed the lies sometimes. No more!
i was told “i can’t stand seeing you smiling” it especially hurt because i heard it from someone i considered a very close and dear friend of mine
Your smile is a delight and beautiful. Let it shine. Sometimes our light can be upsetting to others if they don't feel that way inside. But joining them in darkness is not the path. 💜
Omg thank you. This helps me tremendously. Being an empath and intuitive is a lot and I struggle with this often.
I hear you! 😊💓 so happy to share this with you. B
I am hurt because things said are not true. You realize people seems they are with you but suddenly they say they do not like you. This is absolutely ridiculous!!!Thanks for this video..It really helps a lot..
Sending love your way! Stay strong 💕
I was repeating over and over again, in my head, what this person said to me throughout this whole video. I just can't let it go, or even believe that they said it! Let alone I didn't even think that they were thinking it!
Hi Sister Rose! I hear you. Some words seem to stick like glue! I highly recommend in that situation to use Tapping (EFT). If you're not familiar you can check out info here: www.bernadettelogue.com/eft-tapping/
"Even though this person said (insert), and I'm in shock and can't even believe they said it, I really want to let this go and I'm choosing to release it" (example set up statement).
With love!
B
This was just the message I needed today. Thank you. I love all your videos.
Hi Amy, good to know this hit the mark for you today. So pleased to have you in the community watching the vids. Wishing you a wonderful day. Bernadette :)
I play music online for people and I'm really good but I get really random insulting comments but luckily a lot of people love me
There may be lovers and haters, and keep on walking your own love light filled path!
Very helpful in my time right now. Thank you! I love that you point out that it takes practice and mental energy. I will try.
Sending best wishes! :)
Great advice. What is more hurtful is witnessing people you love especially children being exposed to hurtful words by a parent who thinks she is entitled to doing and saying what she wants because she is a victim of an unsuccessful marriage. Then when you jump in to cool things qdown like breathe or take it easy or do t Rey now you are angry, it gets worse and you get a splash!
Exactly ! They don't even realise their words can tear the innocent soul.
What do you do when you're a highly sensitive person who has endured childhood abuse and bullying and have a hard time regulating the sadness you feel when when you choose not to respond? I find it so hard and disappointed in myself that I struggle so much with this
Hi Michelle, first I just wanted to send big love to you, and please know that there is nothing wrong with you, you are a special, beautiful person, and the fact you struggle with this is human, and nothing to be disappointed about. Anyone who has been through something like this feels the struggle of it, and your feelings are valid. I wondered, when reading your message, if you have had any appropriate support, counselling, therapy, 1:1 help with processing that trauma you mention, as it's something that be very challenging to process alone, to heal from. Getting that professional help can make a world of different to be able to heal emotionally, as you say to regulate the sadness. Tools that I have found to be very helpful for emotional healing including EFT/tapping. That said, it can be challenging to navigate very deep issues and intense emotions using tapping if doing it alone, and if it's very overwhelming, so if in counselling/therapy some professionals integrate tools like tapping to their sessions to support the healing process. I send much love your way Michelle, and certainly those are 2 things I would recommend - getting specialized help for recovery from trauma like what you have mentioned with childhood abuse and bullying, and also the support of tools like EFT to name/process/release the emotions that get stored up over time and once processed more fully can help to heal those present day feelings of sadness.
Blessings
B
Love and greetings from India🇮🇳 ✌
🤗💛 hola from Spain! Sending love to you in India! I would love to visit your country one day!
It's a power trip to feel superior. They don't care if they upset people. They love that people are taking them seriously .
Dr. Dyer once said when you squeeze an orange you only get orange juice. Never apple, never lemon you can only get whatever is inside an orange when you squeeze it. Same goes for humans. What do you get when you squeeze / stress a human? Whatever is inside them. Anger, spite, cruelty, love, kindness, compassion. Etc… that’s why we have to do the inner work so when we are squeezed we don’t bleed on the ppl that didn’t wound us. We instead can be the decent, compassionate loving spirits we all are.
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Thanks for this commen️t ❤️...it made me to realise what I should do.
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I really need to understand how to manage these feelings and how to process them. But again, your words are gold. Thank you so much
Eleanor Roosevelt said it right "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
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Muneyes hurting yesterday from crying alot.i prayed went outside shopping felt better amen
Some part of us believe what people say, that is where the hurt really is.
Powerful insight. Raw wounds and hot buttons, in this way the painful encounters we have can help point us toward our own healing and growth beyond self doubt.
Well stick n stones will break ur bone but names will never hurt u
Thank you! This was very beneficial!
Thank you so much! I needed a reminder. God bless you for sharing your gifts for the "greater good" love, love and love your videos.
:) Thanks.
7:00 walk Away DON'T BITE THE BAIT. WALK AWAY. BRILLIANT.
Thank you so much darling for these great ideas.
Best explanation on CZcams! I just subscribed.
Thank you so much!! Needed this so much right now. Feeling better about the situation.
You're welcome!
I've watched this more than 20 times already...I love it.
Thank YOU for sharing the video.
You're welcome 😊👍
So helpful....thank you, Bernadette!!
Awesome, glad it was useful :)
Thank you. Keep up the good work.
😊
Hi JustHolly, I hope you see this message, I can't reply directly to tag you because there is no "reply" option under your message. So... start by realising that NOTHING anyone says about you or to you is a reflection of who you actually are. It is a reflection of who THEY are. Abuse, bullying, unkindess... it is not a statement of the person being abused, bullied or hurt. It is a mirror of the level of pain within the person doing it. That is not to "blame" them, but rather a chance for you to say... "This is not about me. Their words are not true as a reflection of who I am. I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM DIVINE. I AM WHOLE AND COMPLETE. I AM LOVING. I AM CARING. I AM ..... (positive affirmations that truly accurately reflect the real you". And secondly, pause for a moment and realise that if someone is hurtful and bullying, those painful words only come out of their mouth because some level of pain is within them. Our outer words and actions are just an extension of our inner thoughts and feelings (this is true for all of us, including you, and including this person who was unkind). That doesn't justify their words or actions, it simply helps you to understand that as uncomfortable and painful as it is to be on the receiving end of it, it is as uncomfortable and painful for that person who is doing it. They are cycling in their own pain. They do not know (in that moment) another way to be, OR their pain and discomfort is so great in that moment that they don't CHOOSE with free will to behave in a kinder way. It is very unsettling being around unkind people, because their state of mind and energy is uncomfortable. They are uncomfortable within themselves, and that ripples out to effect everyone around them. When someone doesn't feel comfortable in their own skin, when they cannot be their natural loving selves (as it is buried deeper down below their pain and discomfort) then they might try to compensate for it, and this can lead them into trying to be a certain way or do certain things that make them feel better, that make them "fit in" (putting others down in a misguided attempt to elevate themselves in their own mind or in the eyes of peers). The key right now is to look at this situation and know that the boys behavior and your friends responses, are not reflections of you. You are just as beautiful, worthy, good enough and important as the day you were born, and nothing anyone does or says will change that. Your mind feels hurt right now, but accurate perception is that the words were unkind, they were untrue and they don't belong to you. They belong to the other person, as a reflection of their own "stuff". Watch the video again and listen carefully to each part of it. Apply it to your situation. Be calm and breathe deeply as you listen, so you can really hear the lessons available (as often the mind is so busy and upset that it makes it harder to focus and absorb the life learning available in the situation). Also, you might like to listen to affirmations on my channel (the 400+ affirmations or the 120 for self-belief and confidence). I know you are young as you mention being in school, and so I acknowledge that it is tough at times being in peer groups and situations that can be confusing and difficult to process. When hurt it helps to reach out for support with trusted people around you, like your family, close trusted friends, school guidance counsellors, or teachers even if you feel supported in that way. Warmest wishes, Bernadette
Pinch Me Living
can u plz help me i cannot understand properly bcz for me ur akcent is totally change can u plz send me in written form what u r saying in this video bcz i really want to understand it plzzz help me i dnt want to miss this
pinch me living host has a beautiful accent and voice.
The Daily Positive In the middle of it I need helpAnd I am I isolated 1/10/2018 has 🤥 and 5150me Married 28 years and I am recently disabled do You have advice please?or point me to a chat 💭 I’m lost sick and need help this is my first reach.
The Daily Positive Thank you very much for your advice, I agree with you that the person who hurts you is also hurting.
Thank you so much for this video. ☮️
You're welcome ☺️
Thank you I needed to hear this so much.
Thankyou so much! This was just what I needed to hear after a conversation with a person who was being very passive aggressive to me. I will remember going forward not to bite the hook! Thanks again
You're welcome Stef. Yes... resist biting that hook! Not always easy, but with practise it's well worth it. Blessings, Bernadette
Very enlightening! Thanks for this piece.
You're welcome 😊
Thank you so much! I needed this video today!
You're very welcome! Have a great day. Bernadette :)
It is important to understand that they lash out because they have issues with themselves and they are making you the target of all their negative feelings.
It's destructive behavior on their part and the best way we can deal with it is the detach ourselves and say , okay this person has a big problem and it isn't me
Wonderful teaching, with double benefits, thank you so much
You're welcome!
Some good insights to consider in controlling your own emotional state. I struggle with anger so this is very helpful. Thank you !
Glad this was helpful 😊👍
Fabulous advice. I MUST LEARN
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Thank you so much that helped immensely x
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I appreciate this video .🙏🏾
Much gratitude out to you Holly for being in service to me and others. What I got out of this is some great tools to not take things personal. It is really a hard thing to do as I easily fall back into the victim/ego role. Throw me the worm and more often than not, I take the bait. People are so good at casting out and wanting me to bite that big juicy chaos/pain worm. I feel like Dory. Just keep swimming. Or just keep practicing. It is hard work looking at myself. I also love that you put an emphasis on practicing. I often give it a go and it doesn't neceassirly work out, like the screenplay in my head, but I do try and give myself credit for what I have worked on each day. I'm Not doing it perfectly, but striving to be better. Great information. Thanks again. Love you.
Practice not perfection... exactly!! 💖💗💖 B
Her advice is sooo spot on…So glad I found this channel.
Glad to have you in our community 🤗💛
Very well explained & helpful. Thanks for sharing & keep up the exceptional work!
Thank you and so glad to hear it was helpful for you. Your kind words and energy are appreciated here. With warmest wishes to you, Bernadette
Wow you are so calming and beautiful! Also great words! Thankyou
You're welcome 😊
Feeling a little low just a while ago.this is what I needed.thank you!
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I am SO Very grateful for you and this right now! Thank you for transcending that message so completely and beautifully. I have been dealing with a lot of negativity around me and it basically always triggers that reaction in me. I have been trying to practice Presence and being ect. By myself, but when I'm with other people it seems to all go out the window. But you made me realize that it's going to do nothing for me if I can't sustain that state in the presence of others. I am REALLY going to start working on "not taking the bait" so to speak. But I do understand that it comes from a place of pain in that person. This is going to be one of the TOUGHEST things to overcome bc my ego starts to almost scream inside of me. Lol. But thank you so much for this. It was exactly the message I needed today.
+Noelle Harris Great Noelle, yes it can be tough for sure, but well worth the practise, for your own sanity and peace. Sending you best wishes for your journey! B :)
Thank you, it makes a lot of sense!
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Happy to stumble across this, prudent video🙌😍
:) Thanks for stopping by! Happy to share the vid with you.
This helped me today, thank you so much!
You're welcome 🙂
Thank you for making this video. I really needed this today.
You're welcome Katie ☺️
I really needed to hear this , thank you 🙏 So on point and completely resonates
Glad this was helpful for you. 😊👍 B
It wasn't the words....it was the actions!!!
You have helped me,changed my life.Thank You!
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This helped me more than any other video on this subject.
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Thankuu so much this was really helpful!
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Thank you so much. Used this today with my middle school social study students. We were working on giving and receiving constructive feedback and this went brilliantly hand in hand.
Tina Wiggins Hi Tina, thanks so much for your comment and how wonderful to hear the students get that type of support with communication. What a great school and teacher! Warmest wishes to you. Bernadette
Wow thank you for that it was very helpful!
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Thanks for sharing such beneficial techniques
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This is exactly what I needed, thank you 💘
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Thank you so much ♥️
I only found your channel today but it couldn't have been at a more perfect time. Thank you for sending out your positive messages of hope and how to cope. I just had my 56th birthday just yesterday but it was one of the worst days in my life. Today isn't much better but I see that it's my choice to stop hearing and feeling all this negative talk and feeling all these low vibrations. I'm going to try harder and use your suggestions. Thank you again!
Belated happy birthday Lisa! Welcome to our channel/community. I send you best wishes as you move forward, for rising above any negativity. Love, Bernadette
Nicely put thank you for the video ❤️
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I love the comparison with the fishing line 🎣. I will keep that picture in mind!! Thank you!!!!
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TY Bernadette, right on! I needed to hear this :^)
Hey Lisa, great to hear that! Wishing you well :) Bernadette
ThankYou soo much it completely changed my perception and added a lot in me 🖤
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This is gold! 🙏🏻
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Thank you for your awesome tips!! I’m working on it at the moment!!
You're welcome 💛😊👍
Really needed that, thank you for those insights. Going to use them for sure. 🙏
You're so welcome!