Just goes to show that if she moved on that quickly she was already looking for another to replace you. Don’t worry she’ll replace the next guy just as quickly bc she’s truly insecure with herself
Most women have at least one "backup guy" who she can get with any time she wants. Some of them just get with that guy right away after a breakup because they can't be single.
Depends. Maybe the next one won't ignore her. Often, women log off from the relationship long time before making it official. They keep the man until they are able to find another suitor. You know, like how people find a new job. 😅😅😅 In a more serious tone, I think that there are signs that a relationship goes on the wrong route. If you ignore them, you may wake up being dumped.
Not only that, it means you're not the problem, she is. And she's all over the place and don't know what she wants. It might not seem like it at first but hang in there. You'll be glad you got off that roller coaster.
A long time ex girlfriend was fired from a restaurant and I went there to have a few drinks at the bar because I always got along with her former co workers. After all, she sure wasn't going to show up at a place she got fired. After a couple hours of drinking, the waitress that got my ex's job and I started to get to know each other. Turns out I was wrong. My ex saw me and the new waitress making out and leaving. At 10AM the next morning she called me and started yelling and swearing at me. When I reminded her that she dumped me and moved in with some guy she became nuclear and hung up. I laughed for week.
@@wot2261 The wacky thing is 10 years ago she reconnected with me. She quit drinking, pot and other stuff. We only text once or twice a month but she seems happy and looks great. Ever since I wonder are alcohol, pot, drugs and the fact that women are more affected by them a large contributor to their toxic behavior?
I was married for 28 years until my ex-wife decided her college boyfriend was the man for her. It takes time, and sometimes, you just have to move away. Eventually, you get past it, but you're never really the same. On the plus side, I have peace, a better job, and get to do anything I want.
@Mark-bu4lf She got the house, and I think she's living with her boyfriend. I don't keep up. I moved Maine to Oklahoma, got a new job, and am now closer to my family. It sucked starting over so late, but what are you going to do?
An interesting thing is that they don't think that they cheated because they ended it with me but I don't get the memo until after they start a new one with someone else.
Do you have some peer reviewed evidence of that? Because I never left one relationship where anybody was in the wings. And I am a woman. I think only one of the guys that left actually already had a girlfriend. I guess my experience has been quite unusual. Because these threads make me think that almost everybody’s cheating.
I heard a great line last night on a BGT video, spoken by a cancer-ridden singer who was asked how she could have such a positive attitude. Her answer was, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE PAIN TO BE GONE BEFORE DECIDING TO BE HAPPY!"
it's late and I'm not in a sober state of mind, but the shared sentiment of the cancer patient resonates with the fundamental essence of the divine. The first argument is the reduction of the Buddhist essence, 'all life is suffering; once you can accept that then the majestic and divine become within our reach. Following that derivative you describe the Christian variation that uses the Christ as the vehicle of acceptance to be redeemed after the resurrection. I know the short's text was about relationships, but it describes the first half common to all spiritual arcs; once the suffering can be accepted and endured, the path to something better moves closer to achievable.
Happiness is a choice. Someone even wrote a book about it called Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff. I've been medically diagnosed with being happy by choice, a condition called euthymia.
happy mens mental health awareness month everyone, i hope every guy that reads this is ok or has someone to talk to, you re not alone if you need help there is help out there stay strong brothers
Most of the time it's because they never cared about YOU in the first place, just what you could provide. Soon as they are done getting what they want "you will be fine."
@@Thevirus1x85Better than fine after going through this several years ago. Crushed me at the time seeing her with different guys so suddenly/soon after the split. Better than fine now as will you be!
Or they had already emotionally checked out long before they left…and essentially monkeybranched while telling you it was a breakup. Or the new guy is a rebound and he’s getting used. Go figure. Point is, he’s dealing with things honestly and will be able to move on with his dignity and his integrity intact.
Women mentally check out of relationships months before ever speaking of breaking up. By the time of the day of the breakup, she already has a few options if not worst.
Been 3.5 years, and I still can't drive by the coffee shop she and I had our first date in without nearly breaking down. Same goes for her old apartment.
For me, doing things we've done together before, alone again actually helps. I feel like it helps me process that it's over and learn how to enjoy alone time again and just make sure I'm okay with doing things by myself, enjoying my own company. I suggest you guys give it a shot trying to embrace doing all those things by yourself.
Its funny because you most likely wont be fine. She left for a reason and everything that makes you a "good man" in the eyes of others also makes you disgusting to most other women out there. Ask me how i know.
Songs, restaurants, literally some street lights where we sat for a moment. It doesn't take much to tap in to the emotional Rollercoaster that has been left for me alone to deal with.
Let go completely, as hard as it may feel, and do not pursue her at all. If you have to, do your best for a while to avoid some of those painful things or places within reason. You’ll get better, and one day you’ll realize you dodged 10 bullets.
I can relate. For me it even became an entire town. I loathed driving through it at all. So many painful experiences associated with it I couldn't stand being near it, it has gotten easier, but I still 200% despise the nightclub strip.
@@carlosalexanderly7733 I have about 2 decades left. I'm going to enjoy each and every moment. I will love Kristen until the seas burn and the skies fall. Always move forward and always bet on yourself. ❤️❤️
I have been telling myself this and while I think I have gotten better I don't know if it will ever go away. My problem maybe is that I associated all these places to her. So I've been telling myself why avoid it? These are places I personally like and I would go to even without her. Many places I actually went to before her. It is hard but I try to remove her from the picture when I go to a place we enjoyed. The hardest part is still going in there with a fear of running into her. The last thing I want is that. I just want to be able to walk around freely and not worry.
If it's a restaurant, go for it. It took me a while, but you will be surprised. The food is just as delicious as you remember it and you will appreciate that. You don't need to dwell on those memories. You are still great.
No matter how long it takes, you will always be better off. I'm not going to lie it took me well over a year to even be comfortable again. But again that was after 12 years of marriage. Never slept in that same bed, sold the house and the kids and I started a new life, did ended up being way better
Been with her for 9 months, 7 subway stops, 2 parks, a bookstore, 3 schools, 2 Starbucks, and a pathway that we walked all the time, I can't even look at those places anymore as those places being happy yet painful memories. She found someone else after 3 months.
Ms. Emily I don't know if you will read this. But my problem is she left me after 14 years and to this day she won't give me the respect to tell me why. And to top that she turned both my children against me even though I was basically mom and dad because she didn't want to be a parent. And the fact that she left me after I had a massive heart attack at the age of 40. That's why I can't seem to trust anyone anymore. I guess love isn't going to be there for me. This isn't me looking for attention I just want to tell my story because it might help someone. Just wish someone could help me.
@linguisticman I dated a woman in 2018-2020, we broke up at the start of Covid. I waited 3 years to get into a new relationship; we’ve been together 15 months and we’re ridiculously happy. It takes time. Enjoy your life as it is now, the right person will find you. You’re going to be fine.
@davidp2888 Thank you David and Bruce for the replies. I know you mean well, but I am 57 years old and I don't have the option of "waiting until she comes to me". I did not choose to wait; it just isn't happening. I really don't think you understand.
@@linguisticmanI get how you are feeling, you need to live for you, not who might show up. Once you are able to do that it becomes alot easier to find someone to be happy with.
It takes time to work through those emotions, but believe me when I say, the sooner you can close, lock & seal that door & stop looking back at the what iffs, knowing there is nothing you could have done to save what you thought you had, then & only then can the new hidden door you had no idea existed before, be opened for you to walk through. Walk through that new door with excitement for the possibilities to come your way! You can trust & find love again, even though you went through a time where you thought that to be absolutely absurd & impossible before. I hope this helps someone & gives them the hope they need! My transition through this whole mess of emotions, very recent! I had never cried for 3 months before in my life! Now to the point I'm glad I could finally put it in the past & through it, I realized I had developed the capacity to love deeper, with more intensity & commitment than I ever thought possible, so the next love will have something truly special in their arms & treat you with more respect & tenderness than you ever thought you'd see.
I had an Ex who was a pretty good friend after, as long as I wasn't seeing anyone else. Or when she was dating someone, would ghost me until she broke up with them. 🙄
Watching videos like these gives me a flash back to a time when I thought happiness would never be a reality for me again and now I am so happy things like this remind me of a dark time I have forgotten even happened sometimes…she is 100% right, you will be fine and things do get better even if it seems utterly impossible at the time
Hey man, it hurts today, and it might hurt tomorrow. But before you know it, you're going to be better than fine ... you're going to thank your lucky stars for this. I know because I've been where you are today.
We used to visit a brewery near my house about once a week, I loved it, even though most times she would get too drunk and yell at me otw home. Now it 3 years later, she’s in a new relationship with a kid and I haven’t visited a place less than a mile from me
I've been hurt by my last woman for so long that I am numb to the pain. This sort of thing doesn't bother me any more. The memories were not good so I don't go some place and get sad as i reflect on those memories. Instead I am happy I have moved on emotionally and no longer have to deal with the negativity she brought to my life.
I really want to thank you for helping me get through things I know you most likely won’t see this comment but all your quotes, comments, and videos give me hope for the future thank you for what you do for men everywhere
Forgive them bc they only hurt themselves and you will get freedom out of it. Enjoy you’re alone time. Peace is worth more than anything. Don’t ignore you’re emotions they will be there. Embrace it bc it show you to move on. I think this is the wisdom.
One of my favorite lines from a song, "give your heart and change your mind, you're allowed to do it, Cuz God knows it's been done to you and, somehow you got through it."
Emily,...thank you for being the beautiful awesome person u are and understanding what it is really like in that situation. Your truely the underdog out here fighting for all of us that keep getting walked on and miss treated. Thank u from the bottom of my heart, and God bless u and your family. I really do wish there were more woman out there like u and had respect for us good guys.
Let it go girlie. The longer you let it control you, the harder it will be to move on. You're delaying the inevitable. Just chalk it up as a life lesson, a situation God needed you to go through in order for your soul to grow and mature. You got this sweetheart. Easy peasy!! 😘
Nah. I just don't understand that mindset. If you need a few weeks to gather the shattered remains, I get it. But part of being a man is understanding you have to move on, no one else will help you do so.
It's hard to move on when you put everything into a person and see a future and they actually are saying the same things and it makes you feel like this is the person you are going to be with just to have them go back to their ex who is a mental manipulator and is just not good for them. It's not that you're mad at them at all you just miss being around them and that restaurant or that song or that memory or whatever just makes you have those emotions that you had when you first had your heart ripped out. You know you need to move on and it does happen eventually you just can't fight the emotions you feel when you see or hear that stimulus.
A few weeks? I think it depends on the length of the relationship. You aren’t getting over a 3 year relationship in 2 or 3 weeks. But if you’re a fuckboy who dates girls for a few weeks or months at a time then yea probably. Because none of those girls were a normal part of your life for years.
@@springerball6079 a tried and test way to get over the emotions of a heartbreak relatively soon is to actively pursue other things on your life you've always wanted to do but put aside for the relationship or having been putting off. Get back into a lost hobby, find a new hobby, learn something new, spend time with friends or loved ones. Stuff like this can help you move on faster than dwelling on what could have been or who she's with now (not your business).
Your videos are really helpful tbh whenever I'm feeling down about the last situation I watch some of yours and Ramona army videos and always gets me feeling better it's one thing for a guy to say the things you do but feels so much more validating when it comes from the sex that's being accused
Its me. There's restaurants, parks, hiking trails, stores, even my own bedroom and back deck... all feel like i'm entering some sort of realm stained by a dark sadness with happy memories burned into shadows. You'd think that might be lessened by 7 months of time since she left.
Because she cared about her. When asked by her friends why she loved you, her answer was probably something like: "Because I love the way he makes ME feel!" It's always about her. A healthy person says something like: "because I love the way he talks to people, the way he follows through on promises, because he doesn't make people around him responsible for his emotional state."
I learned a long time ago that love was pointless except for the hatred that comes from it. Feels great I think it’s the only thing keeping me alive anymore.
I once had a place like that. We had 3 anniversary dinners there. After we broke up I could never go back. Didn't even wanna walk past the place. It would upset me. Then a few years ago the restaurant had a fire 🔥 and destroyed the place. I had mixed feelings about that. But that place doesn't bother me anymore when I travel passed it
My ex and I live in the same town. I used to try and go places at times that I knew she wouldn't be there. Now, I don't worry about running into her. If I see her, I'll just keep it moving. You got this, guys! 👍👍😎
For a while I couldnt even stand to watch GoT cause that was"our: favorite show to watch together but after a month or 2 the memories didnt upset me anymore most of pur favorite resturants were in a different city 2 hrs away
We value the past so much it distracts us from the incredible miracle happening in the now. Use memories wisely and competently and have access to them without the triggering emotion if you allow yourself to experience the full force of the feeling without escape and it will flower and give up its secret fruit.
Had a friend going through this, they basically grew up together. They weren't in love they were siblings always having each other back. In the end she got rid of him without any apparent reasons . Since then he never was able to repair some part of himself, he is like a zombie, sometimes I feel like if he is going on some kind of momentum and gradually slows down.
Some girls do that when they get an actual boyfriend not a placebo. Other's ditch their friends BC guys get uncomfortable with a girls guy friends. Others just over focus on the guy they're with & drop all friends.
I know that feeling and man it can sometimes take an awfully long time to get past it… Emily, thanks for having our backs… It’s a rough dating world out there.
I was happy when my ex moved on , closed the door much easier. Although 2 years later she still says she misses me . Yes she still has that boyfriend. And I've been with a wonderful woman that plays no games and puts my relaxed mind on the top of her list . If something doesn't work out , remember there is always a much better fit out there . Never look back or you will miss something wonderful infront of you .
I can relate, I am enduring stroke recovey and then heart ache completely sober... do not recommend, 1 star. 😅 It's been a while, and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. All i can do is remind myself that "This too shall pass."
Users will use until they can't or they spot an easier/better target. Thank her for getting gone and take care of yourself. . And your picker might be broken, get it checked.
7 years together and she started dating a guy 2-3 weeks after the breakup, they are now in a rebound relationship. I know she lost attraction for me long before the breakup. I wasn't perfect, dealt with depression and burnout and wasn't much of help, didn't control my emotions, and she took a lot of responsibility. But still I was always there for her in her darkest moments the years before...as a man you can't allow yourself weakness, that's what it seems like. It's 4 months and it still hurts...
Definitely a thing. Couldn’t go to a favorite restaurant for over a year because I had shown her the restaurant and we always went there. I hate how women can ruin a good thing!!
Living this life rn. Left by my ex after we bought a house together and had a 4 year old together. Within months she had already moved on with someone new, meanwhile I'm living in what was supposed to be our family home, with all of the possessions she had accumulated over the years. Life's hard guys, but... Just keep swimming.
You say that, but I still avoid places on our mutual alma mater campus that were the favorites of my college sweetheart and myself. I don't want to tell you how many years it's been since we were students. Some things, you never get over.
I had a panic attack just being on the same block as her work. I could see her car, and I couldn’t stop shaking and freaking out. Never had a panic attack like that before or since.
Just goes to show that if she moved on that quickly she was already looking for another to replace you. Don’t worry she’ll replace the next guy just as quickly bc she’s truly insecure with herself
Well gee. Kinda reminded me about how my ex question why she wasn't able to get another mans attention... 😂
Most women have at least one "backup guy" who she can get with any time she wants. Some of them just get with that guy right away after a breakup because they can't be single.
Depends. Maybe the next one won't ignore her. Often, women log off from the relationship long time before making it official. They keep the man until they are able to find another suitor. You know, like how people find a new job. 😅😅😅
In a more serious tone, I think that there are signs that a relationship goes on the wrong route. If you ignore them, you may wake up being dumped.
@sfappetrupavelandrei sometimes they are talking to multiple guys, its sad and ugly. When you discover that, you know it wasn't you.
Not only that, it means you're not the problem, she is.
And she's all over the place and don't know what she wants.
It might not seem like it at first but hang in there.
You'll be glad you got off that roller coaster.
A long time ex girlfriend was fired from a restaurant and I went there to have a few drinks at the bar because I always got along with her former co workers. After all, she sure wasn't going to show up at a place she got fired. After a couple hours of drinking, the waitress that got my ex's job and I started to get to know each other. Turns out I was wrong. My ex saw me and the new waitress making out and leaving. At 10AM the next morning she called me and started yelling and swearing at me. When I reminded her that she dumped me and moved in with some guy she became nuclear and hung up. I laughed for week.
Dodged a nuke
@@wot2261 The wacky thing is 10 years ago she reconnected with me. She quit drinking, pot and other stuff. We only text once or twice a month but she seems happy and looks great. Ever since I wonder are alcohol, pot, drugs and the fact that women are more affected by them a large contributor to their toxic behavior?
@dkarukas I would say that, from my experiences, i'd most definitely agree that they are a contributor in many cases, but not in all.
I was married for 28 years until my ex-wife decided her college boyfriend was the man for her. It takes time, and sometimes, you just have to move away. Eventually, you get past it, but you're never really the same.
On the plus side, I have peace, a better job, and get to do anything I want.
And what became of her?
@Mark-bu4lf She got the house, and I think she's living with her boyfriend. I don't keep up. I moved Maine to Oklahoma, got a new job, and am now closer to my family. It sucked starting over so late, but what are you going to do?
What a B word!
Did you have children with her?
It's because women stay until they find a replacement. Men leave alone.
That's been my experience. I can only think of one that's the exception.
An interesting thing is that they don't think that they cheated because they ended it with me but I don't get the memo until after they start a new one with someone else.
Truth. And they will never admit that they had a back up guy or that they “cultivated” the next guy while still involved with the first guy.
Do you have some peer reviewed evidence of that? Because I never left one relationship where anybody was in the wings. And I am a woman. I think only one of the guys that left actually already had a girlfriend. I guess my experience has been quite unusual. Because these threads make me think that almost everybody’s cheating.
I heard a great line last night on a BGT video, spoken by a cancer-ridden singer who was asked how she could have such a positive attitude. Her answer was, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE PAIN TO BE GONE BEFORE DECIDING TO BE HAPPY!"
it's late and I'm not in a sober state of mind, but the shared sentiment of the cancer patient resonates with the fundamental essence of the divine. The first argument is the reduction of the Buddhist essence, 'all life is suffering; once you can accept that then the majestic and divine become within our reach. Following that derivative you describe the Christian variation that uses the Christ as the vehicle of acceptance to be redeemed after the resurrection.
I know the short's text was about relationships, but it describes the first half common to all spiritual arcs; once the suffering can be accepted and endured, the path to something better moves closer to achievable.
Nightbird
*Heavy* stuff
@@derekhamel2991 man, you're truly educated. Respect.
Happiness is a choice. Someone even wrote a book about it called Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff. I've been medically diagnosed with being happy by choice, a condition called euthymia.
happy mens mental health awareness month everyone, i hope every guy that reads this is ok or has someone to talk to, you re not alone if you need help there is help out there stay strong brothers
Most of the time it's because they never cared about YOU in the first place, just what you could provide. Soon as they are done getting what they want "you will be fine."
💯 … going through it right now
@@Thevirus1x85You’ll be better off in the long run, even if you feel super crummy now.
@@Thevirus1x85Better than fine after going through this several years ago. Crushed me at the time seeing her with different guys so suddenly/soon after the split. Better than fine now as will you be!
Or they had already emotionally checked out long before they left…and essentially monkeybranched while telling you it was a breakup.
Or the new guy is a rebound and he’s getting used. Go figure.
Point is, he’s dealing with things honestly and will be able to move on with his dignity and his integrity intact.
Yep. It's sad that so many women do this
Women mentally check out of relationships months before ever speaking of breaking up. By the time of the day of the breakup, she already has a few options if not worst.
Exactly. It's why the guy is nearly always blindsided by the "sudden" breakup for no apparent reason.
That’s definitely me. I avoid certain eating spots and even the movie theater we went to. It’s taking me a minute to get past it.
Take all the time you need, ain’t no rush. You’ll be better for it in the end bro
Been 3.5 years, and I still can't drive by the coffee shop she and I had our first date in without nearly breaking down. Same goes for her old apartment.
@@solarprophet5439May I ask why it ended?
Im with you. I avoid whole ass towns and specific locations
For me, doing things we've done together before, alone again actually helps. I feel like it helps me process that it's over and learn how to enjoy alone time again and just make sure I'm okay with doing things by myself, enjoying my own company. I suggest you guys give it a shot trying to embrace doing all those things by yourself.
You will be better than fine! Much much better!
Its funny because you most likely wont be fine. She left for a reason and everything that makes you a "good man" in the eyes of others also makes you disgusting to most other women out there. Ask me how i know.
Yeah and he turns out to be nothing but false advertising. Lol. Right Sean? Top fuel mechanic. Lmfwao.
@@sailyui thatd be cool wouldnt it
@@dolanduk7946 how?
@@dolanduk7946😂😂 and you still think your the prize
Songs, restaurants, literally some street lights where we sat for a moment. It doesn't take much to tap in to the emotional Rollercoaster that has been left for me alone to deal with.
❤ much love brother. I have been there. 11 years thrown out over nothing. It gets better and you get stronger
Let go completely, as hard as it may feel, and do not pursue her at all. If you have to, do your best for a while to avoid some of those painful things or places within reason.
You’ll get better, and one day you’ll realize you dodged 10 bullets.
@@brucecawthon8206 *HAPPY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY*
Somewhere, around about now, some Poor Bastard is now discovering just WHY she's your Ex!
There's one song on Spotify that doesn't make it to the 3 word before I've hit the FF button.
I can relate. For me it even became an entire town. I loathed driving through it at all. So many painful experiences associated with it I couldn't stand being near it, it has gotten easier, but I still 200% despise the nightclub strip.
This is exactly a situation I'm in... thanks Emily, I needed that.
There are so many places I enjoyed that I will never go to again.
They fade away slowly … believe me … over 20 years later there is so much life to enjoy and when I see death so blessed to be alive …
@@carlosalexanderly7733 I have about 2 decades left. I'm going to enjoy each and every moment. I will love Kristen until the seas burn and the skies fall. Always move forward and always bet on yourself. ❤️❤️
I have been telling myself this and while I think I have gotten better I don't know if it will ever go away.
My problem maybe is that I associated all these places to her. So I've been telling myself why avoid it? These are places I personally like and I would go to even without her. Many places I actually went to before her. It is hard but I try to remove her from the picture when I go to a place we enjoyed. The hardest part is still going in there with a fear of running into her. The last thing I want is that. I just want to be able to walk around freely and not worry.
Make new memories there. That’s been working for me; I intentionally do so.
If it's a restaurant, go for it. It took me a while, but you will be surprised. The food is just as delicious as you remember it and you will appreciate that. You don't need to dwell on those memories. You are still great.
No matter how long it takes, you will always be better off. I'm not going to lie it took me well over a year to even be comfortable again. But again that was after 12 years of marriage. Never slept in that same bed, sold the house and the kids and I started a new life, did ended up being way better
Sold the kids ??😅
How much did you get for the kids?
Ben there done that.
After starting a family with 2 children to boot. I was completely wrecked.
To this day, it's a gigantic scar.
I moved to another state so i didn’t have to experience those situations. I’m much happier than i have been in years.
Same. It helped me immensely
Thank you. The pain is so intense some days.
Amen brother, I do feel u.
Half my music catalog is just sad memories now.
Damn that cuts hard. Same here. Particular songs on the Radio have to be switched off. Even years later.
Spot on. Hits hard. This could be a viral comment. So true so tough
Been with her for 9 months, 7 subway stops, 2 parks, a bookstore, 3 schools, 2 Starbucks, and a pathway that we walked all the time, I can't even look at those places anymore as those places being happy yet painful memories. She found someone else after 3 months.
And he may break her heart one day too. Don’t assume she’s found nirvana now.
You’ll be good bro, just don’t give up.
Ms. Emily I don't know if you will read this. But my problem is she left me after 14 years and to this day she won't give me the respect to tell me why. And to top that she turned both my children against me even though I was basically mom and dad because she didn't want to be a parent. And the fact that she left me after I had a massive heart attack at the age of 40. That's why I can't seem to trust anyone anymore. I guess love isn't going to be there for me. This isn't me looking for attention I just want to tell my story because it might help someone. Just wish someone could help me.
Too bad I don't have to worry about that.... I don't really go out but those who are going through that,,, keep ya heads up 💪🏽💯💪🏽💯💪🏽💯
Went through the same situation
6 months later I met a prettier, kinder and wiser girl
You WILL be fine
With all due respect, that's easy for you to say because you were able to meet someone else. Would you feel the same if you hadn't met someone else?
@@linguisticmanshe’s NOT the only woman. You CAN meet someone nicer and kinder, just give it time. There are MILLIONS of them.
@linguisticman
I dated a woman in 2018-2020, we broke up at the start of Covid. I waited 3 years to get into a new relationship; we’ve been together 15 months and we’re ridiculously happy.
It takes time. Enjoy your life as it is now, the right person will find you. You’re going to be fine.
@davidp2888 Thank you David and Bruce for the replies. I know you mean well, but I am 57 years old and I don't have the option of "waiting until she comes to me". I did not choose to wait; it just isn't happening. I really don't think you understand.
@@linguisticmanI get how you are feeling, you need to live for you, not who might show up. Once you are able to do that it becomes alot easier to find someone to be happy with.
I was this guy once, but she's right you will be fine.
I needed this
It takes time to work through those emotions, but believe me when I say, the sooner you can close, lock & seal that door & stop looking back at the what iffs, knowing there is nothing you could have done to save what you thought you had, then & only then can the new hidden door you had no idea existed before, be opened for you to walk through.
Walk through that new door with excitement for the possibilities to come your way!
You can trust & find love again, even though you went through a time where you thought that to be absolutely absurd & impossible before.
I hope this helps someone & gives them the hope they need! My transition through this whole mess of emotions, very recent! I had never cried for 3 months before in my life! Now to the point I'm glad I could finally put it in the past & through it, I realized I had developed the capacity to love deeper, with more intensity & commitment than I ever thought possible, so the next love will have something truly special in their arms & treat you with more respect & tenderness than you ever thought you'd see.
I had an Ex who was a pretty good friend after, as long as I wasn't seeing anyone else. Or when she was dating someone, would ghost me until she broke up with them. 🙄
Did the Friendzone Ditch with you as a fallback.
that wasnt a "friend". you was her backburner
Keeping exes around is unhealthy. For you and all your future partners.
Watching videos like these gives me a flash back to a time when I thought happiness would never be a reality for me again and now I am so happy things like this remind me of a dark time I have forgotten even happened sometimes…she is 100% right, you will be fine and things do get better even if it seems utterly impossible at the time
Hey man, it hurts today, and it might hurt tomorrow. But before you know it, you're going to be better than fine ... you're going to thank your lucky stars for this. I know because I've been where you are today.
We used to visit a brewery near my house about once a week, I loved it, even though most times she would get too drunk and yell at me otw home. Now it 3 years later, she’s in a new relationship with a kid and I haven’t visited a place less than a mile from me
I've been hurt by my last woman for so long that I am numb to the pain. This sort of thing doesn't bother me any more. The memories were not good so I don't go some place and get sad as i reflect on those memories. Instead I am happy I have moved on emotionally and no longer have to deal with the negativity she brought to my life.
Your content brings me comfort. Thank you so much.
Still going through the grief
So many people needed to hear this today...
I really want to thank you for helping me get through things I know you most likely won’t see this comment but all your quotes, comments, and videos give me hope for the future thank you for what you do for men everywhere
Thank you. You can’t even imagine what this means to me.
Forgive them bc they only hurt themselves and you will get freedom out of it. Enjoy you’re alone time. Peace is worth more than anything. Don’t ignore you’re emotions they will be there. Embrace it bc it show you to move on. I think this is the wisdom.
One of my favorite lines from a song, "give your heart and change your mind, you're allowed to do it, Cuz God knows it's been done to you and, somehow you got through it."
Emily,...thank you for being the beautiful awesome person u are and understanding what it is really like in that situation. Your truely the underdog out here fighting for all of us that keep getting walked on and miss treated. Thank u from the bottom of my heart, and God bless u and your family. I really do wish there were more woman out there like u and had respect for us good guys.
It may take some time but yes,better and much stronger inside,just take it day by day .
For me, it's a particular band she introduced me to. Every time their songs come on.
Clever girl,I like your energy.
I'll never not be fine dead or alive. It's those I leave behind that suffer the loss of my presence among their present moments of life.
Yup, this one is true and it hit home for sure.
Let it go girlie. The longer you let it control you, the harder it will be to move on. You're delaying the inevitable. Just chalk it up as a life lesson, a situation God needed you to go through in order for your soul to grow and mature. You got this sweetheart. Easy peasy!! 😘
It goes both ways for men and women
Nah. I just don't understand that mindset. If you need a few weeks to gather the shattered remains, I get it. But part of being a man is understanding you have to move on, no one else will help you do so.
It's hard to move on when you put everything into a person and see a future and they actually are saying the same things and it makes you feel like this is the person you are going to be with just to have them go back to their ex who is a mental manipulator and is just not good for them. It's not that you're mad at them at all you just miss being around them and that restaurant or that song or that memory or whatever just makes you have those emotions that you had when you first had your heart ripped out. You know you need to move on and it does happen eventually you just can't fight the emotions you feel when you see or hear that stimulus.
Or just stop being afraid of manning up and use that emotion to push yourself harder in work and crack the fuck on
Ps I say this with respect
A few weeks? I think it depends on the length of the relationship. You aren’t getting over a 3 year relationship in 2 or 3 weeks. But if you’re a fuckboy who dates girls for a few weeks or months at a time then yea probably. Because none of those girls were a normal part of your life for years.
As a man, I agree. Iowkey it depends on how much you love that person...or if that person knows how much respect she got for you..
@@springerball6079 a tried and test way to get over the emotions of a heartbreak relatively soon is to actively pursue other things on your life you've always wanted to do but put aside for the relationship or having been putting off. Get back into a lost hobby, find a new hobby, learn something new, spend time with friends or loved ones. Stuff like this can help you move on faster than dwelling on what could have been or who she's with now (not your business).
Your videos are really helpful tbh whenever I'm feeling down about the last situation I watch some of yours and Ramona army videos and always gets me feeling better it's one thing for a guy to say the things you do but feels so much more validating when it comes from the sex that's being accused
Feeling this.
Emily you’re a lot more encouraging than you probably realize. Thanks for the support!
Needed this. Thanks em
if i had seen this 6 years ago, i would not have believed you. but you were right. this video brought tears to my eyes though.
Its me.
There's restaurants, parks, hiking trails, stores, even my own bedroom and back deck... all feel like i'm entering some sort of realm stained by a dark sadness with happy memories burned into shadows.
You'd think that might be lessened by 7 months of time since she left.
Because she cared about her. When asked by her friends why she loved you, her answer was probably something like: "Because I love the way he makes ME feel!" It's always about her. A healthy person says something like: "because I love the way he talks to people, the way he follows through on promises, because he doesn't make people around him responsible for his emotional state."
I learned a long time ago that love was pointless except for the hatred that comes from it. Feels great I think it’s the only thing keeping me alive anymore.
Thank you Emily, i know I will be, but its nice to hear it never the less.
Time heals ALL wounds.. just believe there’s the Right person still waiting for you to find them. 😉 Speaking from experience
I once had a place like that. We had 3 anniversary dinners there. After we broke up I could never go back. Didn't even wanna walk past the place. It would upset me.
Then a few years ago the restaurant had a fire 🔥 and destroyed the place. I had mixed feelings about that. But that place doesn't bother me anymore when I travel passed it
I love this woman, wish more were like her
As a man been there aghhh. You setting good example keep it up
Love is the hardest science that has ever existed. I truly love that song. I imply this song or maybe another one.
My ex and I live in the same town. I used to try and go places at times that I knew she wouldn't be there. Now, I don't worry about running into her. If I see her, I'll just keep it moving. You got this, guys! 👍👍😎
It's OK. Time heals all wounds. Greater things are to come.
Yeah, I eventually just moved towns. Too many places with too many memories, and running into her and her newest thing was torment.
I love your videos thank you for what you do ❤
It seems like it never gets better
This is me. 10 years next month.. I'm fine, but'll never get over it,
I just want one decent woman in my life that I can call my own and she can call me hers..please God haven't I suffered enough alone in this world
Having a broken heart is the most basic and common problem. You will live
For a while I couldnt even stand to watch GoT cause that was"our: favorite show to watch together but after a month or 2 the memories didnt upset me anymore most of pur favorite resturants were in a different city 2 hrs away
We value the past so much it distracts us from the incredible miracle happening in the now. Use memories wisely and competently and have access to them without the triggering emotion if you allow yourself to experience the full force of the feeling without escape and it will flower and give up its secret fruit.
There are some areas I still avoid almost 4 years later.
Thank You!
Trust me, it gets better
No matter how many generations go by, the stories are the same.
Had a friend going through this, they basically grew up together. They weren't in love they were siblings always having each other back. In the end she got rid of him without any apparent reasons . Since then he never was able to repair some part of himself, he is like a zombie, sometimes I feel like if he is going on some kind of momentum and gradually slows down.
Some girls do that when they get an actual boyfriend not a placebo. Other's ditch their friends BC guys get uncomfortable with a girls guy friends. Others just over focus on the guy they're with & drop all friends.
20 years later and I'm still not fine
Sorry to hear that.
Did she pass away?
Same theres places I love I cant go to yet.
Aw man it still hurts, what is wrong with me it's been years
Moved 2000 miles because everything reminded me of her. That was after she passed after 20 years together. Just couldn't take the reminders. 😢
I know that feeling and man it can sometimes take an awfully long time to get past it…
Emily, thanks for having our backs… It’s a rough dating world out there.
😢 It's a nice thought.
I was happy when my ex moved on , closed the door much easier. Although 2 years later she still says she misses me . Yes she still has that boyfriend. And I've been with a wonderful woman that plays no games and puts my relaxed mind on the top of her list . If something doesn't work out , remember there is always a much better fit out there . Never look back or you will miss something wonderful infront of you .
I can relate, I am enduring stroke recovey and then heart ache completely sober... do not recommend, 1 star. 😅
It's been a while, and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
All i can do is remind myself that "This too shall pass."
This one hits home
Users will use until they can't or they spot an easier/better target. Thank her for getting gone and take care of yourself. . And your picker might be broken, get it checked.
Emily your Beautiful. And you get us. Not caring a bit what other women say. Keep it going.
Thank you Emz 🤗🙏💔
Thank you ❤️
If youre this woman, youll be fine. ❤
I know this feeling all too well.
7 years together and she started dating a guy 2-3 weeks after the breakup, they are now in a rebound relationship.
I know she lost attraction for me long before the breakup. I wasn't perfect, dealt with depression and burnout and wasn't much of help, didn't control my emotions, and she took a lot of responsibility. But still I was always there for her in her darkest moments the years before...as a man you can't allow yourself weakness, that's what it seems like.
It's 4 months and it still hurts...
Wow, their loss! ❤
I am happier than I have ever been
Definitely a thing. Couldn’t go to a favorite restaurant for over a year because I had shown her the restaurant and we always went there. I hate how women can ruin a good thing!!
You'll find somebody better❤
Just because things could have been different, doesn't mean they would be better
Living this life rn. Left by my ex after we bought a house together and had a 4 year old together. Within months she had already moved on with someone new, meanwhile I'm living in what was supposed to be our family home, with all of the possessions she had accumulated over the years.
Life's hard guys, but... Just keep swimming.
You say that, but I still avoid places on our mutual alma mater campus that were the favorites of my college sweetheart and myself. I don't want to tell you how many years it's been since we were students. Some things, you never get over.
Not even able to go to that city. Had to force myself to overcome the anxiety of it
I had a panic attack just being on the same block as her work. I could see her car, and I couldn’t stop shaking and freaking out. Never had a panic attack like that before or since.