How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process for Becoming Truly Confident

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  • čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
  • How To Be More Confident - A clear-cut, easy-to-follow process for gaining solid confidence that will transform your whole life.
    The Ultimate Life Purpose Course - Create Your Dream Career:
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    Full Video Transcript Here:
    www.actualized.org/articles/ho...
    Video Summary:
    Those who lack confidence may feel the deficiency is so in-grained as to surely be innate. In fact, confidence is something most of us are born with, before life steals it from us. You can recover the confidence you lost, or thought you never had.
    The key is to start with introspection about the situations in which your lack of confidence becomes most pronounced. Try to identify the triggers for the issue, and notice the patterns in your present life.
    Then think back to your youth or childhood. Who told you that you weren't good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough? What "limiting beliefs" did you adopt from those experiences? Have you learned to criticize yourself before anyone else has the chance? Do you crave other people's approval, even when telling others that you don't care what they think?
    Positive affirmations, visualizations, mental rehearsal, plus bolstering body language, can make vast strides in building your store of confidence. Perhaps most important is to constantly stretch your comfort zone, a little at a time.
    While success alone doesn't predict confidence, it certainly lubricates the process. Follow the steps in the recipe thoroughly and in the proper order to discover how much confidence you can grow.
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Komentáře • 972

  • @GamesCooky
    @GamesCooky Před 8 lety +279

    I remember the good times when i was confident.
    I used to be the one in class that was never afraid of telling people exactly how i feel. But then i managed to destroy myself.
    I tried changing myself. I thought that if i cared for others, more people would like me. Turned out i was wrong. All i did was ruin myself with social anxiety and depression

    • @Redhotlugnut
      @Redhotlugnut Před 8 lety +9

      +Games Cooky Getting your needs met externally is pretty much guaranteeing feeling empty at some point down the road. I've been in your shoes and realized a lot of choices I'd made regarding relationships and even career decisions were based upon getting my needs met through these avenues. Then you get to the point you're at now and wonder wtf happened??? Well, you've acknowledged what happened and know what you did to get there. Now is the time to do the work to figure out what makes you happy and focus on that. I know external influences can sometimes make these positive life change feel like they're wrong or not good as they're letting you know how it affects them. This might be good for you but not for them. Once you realize you don't need others to make you feel fulfilled you're on your way. Regarding meds, I take mirtazipine at night and have for 1 1/2 years. I sleep great (was having issues) and any anxiety has really diminished so it's quite manageable. I have ativan on standby for specific occurrences and take sparingly. Good luck.

    • @davidtabortabs
      @davidtabortabs Před 8 lety

      Same bro

    • @eivindludviksen6478
      @eivindludviksen6478 Před 8 lety +5

      +Games Cooky I feel like im on the exact same path. I used to always crack jokes and everyone would tell me how I should become a comedian and I would make my class laugh daily, but then that started having an impact on my grades because my teachers didn't like how I interrupted at times so I decided to change. I slowly started to notice how I got less and less invited over to friends and people who used to seem like they were close friends completely ignored me. This was in junior high and when I started at my high school (I'm in my 3rd year now) I noticed how I didn't really make any friends. I knew only one person from my previous school and so my first year I kind of just talked with people in school and tried to hang on to him, but I never socialized after school or got invited to anything and he seemed to only hang with me because I kind of made him.
      I managed to switch this for a short moment after a class trip with my German class to Austria to learn more German. It was close to Vienna and we didn't have much to do in our free-time, so we partied almost every day. I got close to a lot more people, I started smiling more and I even talked to some girls. This continued for about 5 moths until at one party I made out with a girl (for the first time) and afterwords a guy pointed out how stupid I looked making out because I didn't know what the hell I was doing on top of being moderately drunk. I believe his words were that it looked like I was eating her face... (-_-) This was a huge blow to my confidence so I stopped talking with them and asking to hang out because I was too embarrassed.
      That group of people stopped talking to me shortly after and now I only have about 3 friends who aren't really friends, I just hang out with them at school because i go to the same class as them, but they are part of different groups themselves and they even have a Facebook chat where they talk together, but they haven't invited me or anything and they make a bunch of plans together without me. Which just makes it that much worse ... :/

    • @lupealvarez7566
      @lupealvarez7566 Před 8 lety +4

      +Eivind Ludviksen my friend, you need to not give a f___what people think. Believe me, everyone goes through this. Be yourself. I use to be a class clown and had lower grades but their are many ways to success. Keep a balance in life. BELIEVE ME

    • @eivindludviksen6478
      @eivindludviksen6478 Před 8 lety +6

      ***** Yeah, I know I shouldn't give a shit, but it's hard not to... I don't want to be a loner, but my self esteem is way too low to start socializing, it's an evil circle. I guess I should just try to take it step by step until I can build up enough self esteem. It's hard though, because people are assholes and a girl recently told me that I would die alone, which was hard to hear (even though she didn't mean it).

  • @ActualizedOrg
    @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +228

    If you liked this video, I recommend you watch these related videos too:
    1) Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem
    2) How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry
    3) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
    4) Self Confidence - The Two Essential Avenues For Building Confidence

  • @Lichfeldian--Suttonian
    @Lichfeldian--Suttonian Před 4 lety +68

    Every morning for at least _2 months_ :
    Affirmation 1 for 5 minutes - 🥰 *_I love being confident_*
    Affirmation 2 for 5 minutes - 😎 *_I am independent of the good or bad opinion of others_*
    Visualisation for 5 minutes -🤳 Play *_the movie_* out in my mind
    That’s great, Leo. Thanks.

  • @Allen-eq5uf
    @Allen-eq5uf Před 9 lety +327

    Being introverted isn't synonymous with lack of confidence.

    • @wulf67
      @wulf67 Před 9 lety +14

      Exactly.

    • @MsTurquaz
      @MsTurquaz Před 9 lety +27

      I am an introvert who seems very confident but not truly is. Also i happen to get defensive when someone points at my lack of confidence. Because i am afraid of being seen like one (because i lack confidence)

    • @reachingforinsanity1710
      @reachingforinsanity1710 Před 9 lety +23

      Quiet by Susan Cain explains it all!! People say "introverted" like it is negative thing but it is not. Everybody embraces the "Extrovert Ideal" of appearance instead of character and small talk over deep conversations. Some people are just introverts by nature and people can't accept it (conformity)

    • @cbwavy
      @cbwavy Před 9 lety +51

      Its annoying when introversion is treated as a disadvantage or disease.

    • @AntonioVassell
      @AntonioVassell Před 9 lety +6

      WAKEUP!!! Exactly

  • @abdul.arif2000
    @abdul.arif2000 Před 4 lety +22

    I watched this video 5 years ago and shit happened in life that killed my confidence. Getting robbed and maced and beat and just catching other L's in life. I been working on myself again though and have been looking for this specific video as I used these 2 affirmations all the time before and it helped a lot. I used to preach about affirmations to other people too. But thanks Leo I'm going to do this again and get my confidence back and chip away at my insecurities and social anxiety. To whoever's reading this I'm rooting for you baby and the best things in life are yet to come, never give up! I believe in you.

  • @sannafredholm4200
    @sannafredholm4200 Před 8 lety +354

    I can't explain how much I appreciate you and your amazing videos. You've really changed my life to the better and I'm so thankful for that. You're so smart and kind and I hope that you know how much impact these videos can make on a person's entire life!

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 8 lety +43

      Why, thanks! :)

    • @abd-al-haqal-haqiqi6981
      @abd-al-haqal-haqiqi6981 Před 8 lety +8

      +Actualized.org
      me too you changed my life bro
      i first discovred you by the video about meditation and through that i was able to quit smoking both tobbacco & weed also other videos too are intresting and have alot of wisdom
      salute & thank you very much brother
      Peace

    • @charliecrome207
      @charliecrome207 Před 8 lety +22

      he isnt really kind, he just speaks the truth

    • @houmanhosseini1782
      @houmanhosseini1782 Před 8 lety +7

      +Charlie Crome jelous

    • @endtimes6550
      @endtimes6550 Před 7 lety +8

      Charlie Crome he's kind to share his knowledge with us and isn't obligated at all so he therefore is very kind

  • @rsuriyop
    @rsuriyop Před 7 lety +42

    I've never felt jealous of how much money certain people make and/or what they own... Only felt jealous of the confidence and drive that they had to get them to where they are today. I simply cannot express in to words just how important it is to have a certain degree of confidence. It affects so many things in your life, not just relationships. Honestly, I'd rather have a ton of confidence ingrained into me over having a billion dollars. It's not something you could simply buy. Which is why a video like is so important. Thanks for sharing :)

    • @pianosenzanima1
      @pianosenzanima1 Před 7 lety +5

      you are a genius!....u just opened my eyes Oo

    • @TacticalBe
      @TacticalBe Před 7 lety

      rsuriyop So did you do the affirmations and the visualizations for two months?

    • @annabardon8994
      @annabardon8994 Před 6 lety

      If you had a ton of confidence you would eventually get your billion dollars.

  • @njuyr8376
    @njuyr8376 Před 8 lety +431

    I was the loudest kid in kindergarten i dont know what heapend

    • @yolodaswagg
      @yolodaswagg Před 8 lety +32

      you were probably made to thin that was bad and from then on have to been able to reach the same amount of confidence.

    • @mmaufc881
      @mmaufc881 Před 7 lety +4

      Animating Wolf dont worry if you keep doing this;you gonna get back your natural extraversion

    • @ripulsaxena6216
      @ripulsaxena6216 Před 6 lety +1

      IKR

    • @GadgetizeInfos
      @GadgetizeInfos Před 6 lety +4

      I feel the same too, I think we have the same problem of confidence swings! Self-esteem and confidence are key and probably more important than most skills we develop in school. I have found it very useful in the last 8 months of my life and the benefits are starting to reveal themselves. It is hard work to change your mindset and reprogram your brain like this, but I managed to get good at this by reading a lot from people who have done this and succeeded. These books jump.blinkist.com/SHgn helped me a lot to progress in staying confident and positive in my approach to life. I found a lot of best-selling books here that are transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in 15 minutes. I hope you get your confidence back!

    • @heenawadhwani8710
      @heenawadhwani8710 Před 6 lety +3

      I am from India and we mostly speak Hindi here and our 2nd language is English so I am not fluent while speaking it and my siblings never missed a chance to laugh on me whenever I made any grammatical error. I wanna go and study abroad but I can't because I am not confident enough while speaking English. I can type it but cannot speak without stammering.

  • @Leon-pn6rb
    @Leon-pn6rb Před 9 lety +43

    Here is the gist of it-
    1. stop believing that you lack confidence
    2. pinpoint the source of your lack of confidence
    3. Think about different ways in which you could've handled the situation.
    4.Say affirmations everyday (classic self help #1)
    5.Visualize (classic self help #2)
    6. Socialize more
    The first 3 points are a bit abstract , and honestly very difficult to do alone. funny thing is shy people are often alone . This delving into oneselfs deep patterns is not only a practice that is very hard to follow , but is very ,very easy to leave.
    correct me if i am wrong but 90% of people who watch this may do what he said for about not more than a week.
    Isint there another way? a more plausible way?
    One more question- should one accept that he/she is shy and start to improve from the bottom , or stay in denial and force oneself to perform on real life situations,and hence learn to be confident by trial and error?
    both ways seem logically correct.

    • @Bezemkast333
      @Bezemkast333 Před 8 lety

      +I Wanna Eat Mai Shiranui's Yummy Booty Lol and thats exactly why they havent worked for you.

    • @Bezemkast333
      @Bezemkast333 Před 8 lety

      ***** You seem like a fun person to be around.

    • @Leon-pn6rb
      @Leon-pn6rb Před 8 lety

      I have found the answer

    • @Leon-pn6rb
      @Leon-pn6rb Před 8 lety +3

      ***** I have found the person who found a person who has found the answer

    • @Leon-pn6rb
      @Leon-pn6rb Před 8 lety

      ok

  • @mckinneyanthony250
    @mckinneyanthony250 Před 9 lety +9

    I'm still in the middle of watching your video but I just had to stop and tell you Thankyou for making a commitment to help improving the lives of other people such as myself who've struggled with confidence and thriving socially. It means so much to me and others!

  • @jhunt6666
    @jhunt6666 Před 8 lety +27

    My problem is that my primary concern is literally not embarassing myself, I often feel a surge of pressure, leading to a desperate need for something to talk about, and how to reflect on what people say to me without ending the topic awkwardly.
    I also get unsure about whether to respond comically, and if so, I am terrified it would fall flat, I am very good at communicating to anyone in a phone call, or messaging, its just face to face I suck at.

    • @lovetaylorswiftjm
      @lovetaylorswiftjm Před 8 lety +1

      same

    • @GeorgeGoshington
      @GeorgeGoshington Před 6 lety

      Kappa We think very much alike. We can do it. We're all unique and awesome. We just need to be ourselves and not care. (: Think about the moments people have laughed at your silly joke. Think about how adorable you are and how people see that. Use your strengths to your advantage. We all have them (:

    • @marcuswhite1810
      @marcuswhite1810 Před 4 lety

      You have the same problem I have down to the t

  • @jackseals3337
    @jackseals3337 Před 10 lety +40

    Another thing is that I lack expression - I can be happy and sad but I just don't show it and people can't decide whether I'm sarcastic when I speak or not. And for some reason I find it hard to compliment people it makes me feel awkward even though it's a nice thing to do why is this

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +12

      You are just socially inexperienced. Go socialize more.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +4

      Bart Staelens We already discussed this. She is not going to care. Once she decides to have sex with you, it's a done deal. Whether you're good or bad, she will still enjoy it and she will be nice about it. Have some faith in yourself that you will know what to do. Your body will naturally know so you will not be as bad as you think.

    • @jonnybingham1
      @jonnybingham1 Před 9 lety +3

      the more compliment people, the more natural it will become.

    • @nKLsblahvlahblah
      @nKLsblahvlahblah Před 4 lety +1

      You might be an INTJ/ISTJ. This is just your personality based on your primary psychological functions. You are more a thinker rather than a feeler.

  • @c.j.brooks6490
    @c.j.brooks6490 Před 9 lety +31

    Thank you Leo!!!!!... My masculinity has been stripped from me through my divorce. I came to the realization that I had no clue who I was while I was even in that relationship. And have lived a life with no definitions;i only followed what people have told me I should be doing. this is a game changer for me. I think you've saved my life.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 9 lety +4

      Good. You got a lot of personal development to do. Stick with it and you'll get some HUGE gains.

    • @c.j.brooks6490
      @c.j.brooks6490 Před 9 lety +4

      I went from being a professional athlete to church mouse and spent b the last 2 years fumbling (no pun intended) trying to get my stride back...I look forward to working this out. Your blog is a godsend.

    • @user-vz2zn4fo2b
      @user-vz2zn4fo2b Před 9 lety

      +Actualized.org
      can u contact with me pervat?

    • @warrensmith7805
      @warrensmith7805 Před 5 lety

      How did it go?

  • @AnsellSteven
    @AnsellSteven Před 10 lety +83

    I am an introvert. I have always been an introvert. I like being an introvert. I wouldn't change it for the world. It is a gift. :)
    I do not think introversion has anything to do with confidence. It is a natural comfort and enjoyment of being alone with one’s self. I think extroverts are being egotistical when they believe that their natural tendencies are superior.
    Both introversion and extroversion have strengths associated with them. Neither is superior. I imagine a world with nothing but extroverts wouldn't function very well. Not much would get done.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +17

      I am a hardcore introvert.

    • @AnsellSteven
      @AnsellSteven Před 10 lety +5

      in the video you equate being an introvert with being meak, not decisive, and shy. I find my introversion is a point of strength.
      Also, the idea that we are born as extroverts and become introverts by some sort of trauma makes introversion seem like an inferior state - something to overcome. Studies have shown that introversion is biologically based - it has something to do with neurotransmitters and sensativity to dopamine.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +18

      ***** Yes, introversion is biological, but it's also environmental. Many introverts are socially incompetent because of bad upbringing and lack of socialization experience. That was the case with me. I will always be an introvert, but I have become so much stronger now because I push myself to socialize and be extroverted.

    • @Itshabbovidz
      @Itshabbovidz Před 10 lety

      Actualized.org I'm introverted but i want to hang out with girls every now and then, maybe once or twice a week since I enjoy working on stuff (self teaching), do you think it would be beneficial for me to talk to girls or just focus on learning and growing (age 17)

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +11

      SecretAccount Yes! Of course talk to girls. And do more than just talking ;)

  • @raimanoj8278
    @raimanoj8278 Před 10 lety +6

    You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.

  • @DefinitionLegend
    @DefinitionLegend Před 9 lety +3

    Started doing those affirmations yesterday and they have already made me do things I could have never done before. Literally living on my edge now ! Thank you my friend ! I have an amazing feeling about this and cannot wait to see what it does on a subconscious level! !

  • @orestis_m2218
    @orestis_m2218 Před 10 lety +16

    The greatest thing about this channel is that there is communication with the ''man behind the camera''. Not a lot actually answer to comments but you friend are fantastic you deserve way more people to find you out not just because for your own credit but for theirs too. Thanks a lot man.

  • @TiffTheMannequin
    @TiffTheMannequin Před 10 lety +20

    I'm gonna subscribe NOW! Your videos are so insightful, helpful and so eye opening it's unreal! Sh*t, I even feel like shaving my head to begin getting where you are in your mindset right now.

  • @charlenegarza16
    @charlenegarza16 Před 6 lety +1

    I love the way he really goes in and breaks it down step by step.

  • @marcoleenbritz3415
    @marcoleenbritz3415 Před 8 lety

    Leo, I want to say thank you for your video's. I can't even explain how much influence it made to my life. I suffered with anxiety my hole life and for the first time I am relaxed, feeling complete, good enough, laughing at my flaws and deeply happy. It's as if my eyes opened up to a new world. Real, Thank you so much!

  • @pokerater4463
    @pokerater4463 Před 7 lety +10

    I'm not confident anywhere I'm more worried in a crowd , in my class, I refused to go in front of students during my presentation

  • @darkmoonmandala
    @darkmoonmandala Před 10 lety +3

    Your videos are amazing and inspiring. I've been watching for days and you're making a difference in my life. Just wanted to thank you. :)

  • @elmofam95
    @elmofam95 Před 10 lety +1

    I had always been an extrovert but then two years ago, i gained a few pounds. It didn't change much except the way I started looking at myself, which led to me into a shell i didn't realize even existed until i found myself saying no to every good opportunity that life threw my way. I lack confidence when meeting new people, and my college starts soon and i am terrified of how i would be introducing myself to new people and possibly even making new friends. your video has really helped me and i can't wait to start working on this because you made me realize all the great thing i might be missing out on. A truly wonderful video. :)

  • @0001har0001
    @0001har0001 Před 6 lety +2

    Leo, your videos are amazing. They have really helped me out with my issues. There is still a lot for me to work on but you've helped me get on the right track!

  • @hyneephali131
    @hyneephali131 Před 6 lety +4

    I followed your advice Leo. I can honestly say it did help me with my confidence. I smile more, I actually have become comfortable with taking selfies. Which for me pictures where a no no. Also my dating situation has improved a lot.
    Ps your book list is epic

  • @sianjoyc8883
    @sianjoyc8883 Před 8 lety +4

    Thankyou so much! This video had completely changed my life.

  • @jonathanfischer8379
    @jonathanfischer8379 Před 9 lety

    I absolutely love your videos. Thanks so much for creating and posting 'em for free. There's serious value here. Cheers, man!

  • @mrelijahroberts
    @mrelijahroberts Před 8 lety

    You are a true life changer! I'm making it a habit to listen to your videos daily. I struggle with fear on a daily basis, and have social anxiety! Going to start to implement some of these techniques and I really believe they would benefit anyone who puts them into action.

  • @ActualizedOrg
    @ActualizedOrg  Před 9 lety +30

    Find your life purpose, create your dream career.
    Check out my comprehensive video course.
    90+ exclusive videos, 20+ hours and 200GBs of content!
    www.actualized.org/life-purpose-course

    • @KuroYagi124
      @KuroYagi124 Před 9 lety

      +Actualized.org damn i hate myself for doing this affirmations, they feel so cheesy!

    • @rivenz6
      @rivenz6 Před 8 lety +1

      +arnold traore Affirmations dont do shit.

    • @KuroYagi124
      @KuroYagi124 Před 8 lety

      rivenz6 yep im skeptical about it too. i was doing them long ago. so every day i was thinking and visualizing, how im fighting, being beaten to death, being stabbed etc. and how im not afraid of death and how i dont give up. and i assured myself that i was fearless of fights and death and i could take on anyone, even 100 men. but once i got in a conflict situation, i became anxious, nervous, and thats when my illusions broke down!

    • @ryanp5052
      @ryanp5052 Před 8 lety

      +Memento Mori Do you really think life has no purpose ?

    • @ryanp5052
      @ryanp5052 Před 8 lety +1

      ***** As sad as it sounds your probably right, guess we'll find out when we die. But until then have a good one Memento mori haha!

  • @biggsleezy
    @biggsleezy Před 9 lety +5

    When you're in a group, and they're chatting about things you don't know or haven't experienced well enough to care about, like relationships, what can the most confident person do?, focus on the games on his mobile phone?.

  • @praviplavokutnik
    @praviplavokutnik Před 9 lety +1

    It's great that you also have a video called How to stay focused cause at around 5 minutes watching this video i realized that i've missed last 3..
    You're awesome.

  • @jonahbologna670
    @jonahbologna670 Před 7 lety +1

    This is the only video that has ever made sense. and your not even asking for money leo you are a saint

  • @erikcampos7113
    @erikcampos7113 Před 8 lety +5

    You're awesome Leo!!

  • @BMWhips
    @BMWhips Před 8 lety +14

    Thanks Bro! I am over two months in saying - thinking for atleast 5 min a day..I am completely independent of the good or bad opinions of others. I must say it is feeling profound. I will try 5 min confident visualizations for 2 months.. Thank You so much Leo!

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 8 lety +4

      Good work! Stay at it

    • @nate2748
      @nate2748 Před 4 lety

      Actualized.org I messed up and missed two days should I continue on or restart?

    • @nate2748
      @nate2748 Před 4 lety

      Actualized.org I messed up and missed two days should I continue on or restart?

  • @denishenriquez7448
    @denishenriquez7448 Před 9 lety

    Leo, i love the fact that ive stumbled upon your channel! you have such an incredible knowledge that i was needing, thanks to you im starting to see things in a whole different and more positive way! thanks!

  • @Cam91
    @Cam91 Před 9 lety

    This is brilliant Leo. I really agree with most of this, being a natural introvert doesn't make you necessarily a shy person, but I do get the idea that there could have been a moment or limiting beliefs growing up, and I certainly know the attitude of my parents growing up instilled this on me, made me look for approval from others to feel good about myself and I can DEFINITELY see how a 'traumatic event could suppress natural extroversion' from the get go. Rejection from my parents if I didn't act a certain way to make them look good and feeling unable to express my true feelings growing up really had its toll on me from 15 upwards, definitely confusing and difficult to form proper relationships with people, something which is still work in progress in my twenties today.

  • @janitsokkinen7700
    @janitsokkinen7700 Před 9 lety +24

    MAAAAASSSIVELY helpful, encouraging and practical. wow.

  • @akhilnikhil4665
    @akhilnikhil4665 Před 10 lety +4

    this has really helped me a lot and i will try your two months affirmations and let u know that what happens
    i'm very confident about this video i finally like this video

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +1

      Great! Stay on top of it. And thanks for sharing :)

  • @skipperhawk2438
    @skipperhawk2438 Před 8 lety

    I always glean something helpful from you Leo. I came out of a long relationship that was tearing me down as a man... but didn't realize it till I was out and facing life again on my own. For me, remembering and exercising the positive things in my character has brought me an awesome girlfriend and a great space in my life. That's my big take away from almost all dating/life coaches... work on you, work on who you really are deep down, spiritually, mentally, physically and then personality will start to flow from that naturally.

  • @Furyhound
    @Furyhound Před 2 lety

    My journey to my present self began with you, six years ago in middle school. Know that you have helped me immensely in this time. Thank you.

  • @MarcelR-mp3gp
    @MarcelR-mp3gp Před 10 lety +17

    Can you pleeaaassseee make a video about how to sleep well because I have serious sleep problems right now.

  • @looneytoons4008
    @looneytoons4008 Před 7 lety +21

    I would have disagree with you on the fact that everyone was born extroverted

    • @XoeCox
      @XoeCox Před 4 lety +2

      Have you ever seen a child ages 1-2 that was not extroverted? The answer is no unless this child is enduring extreme trama.

    • @adnanhowlader143
      @adnanhowlader143 Před 3 lety

      @@XoeCox yeah i saw,my nephew

    • @patrickf4839
      @patrickf4839 Před 3 lety

      Extraversion and introversion relate to how you get your energy, not confidence or shy-ness. I’m an internal processor/ thinker but am not socially anxious, etc. Batak Obama is an introvert but most people wouldn’t say he lacks confidence

  • @wi11ow13
    @wi11ow13 Před 6 lety

    Just wanted to say your video was excellent! You explain the theory of limiting beliefs really clearly that resonates with myself so well. I found this video helped connect so many dots for me, as I found the many self help books that I read just dont explain the theory in a way that I could relate too. When someone gives examples of their own situation, it is far more easier to then highlight your own issues.
    So thank you and keep up the great vids.

  • @karolinaska6836
    @karolinaska6836 Před 9 lety +2

    Leo, thanks for these videos. As I was listening to you mention that an event in one's childhood (such as bullying) could lower self-confidence, a lightbulb went on. I was bullied in the 6th grade, but held up by my family as some gift from God (I always heard how pretty/intelligent/polite/etc I was). So I was getting very opposing points of view, and I developed this weird hybrid personality of entitlement and passive-aggressive judgment with avoidance of eye contact and physical reactions in anticipation of having to share my thoughts with new people. As you keep saying in your videos, what other people think - good or bad - is irrelevant. I've started the affirmation about how I'm independent of the opinions of others, and I look forward to living up to my potential eventually! I'm an introvert and many of my positive traits are thanks to this, but I'm also shy, and I just assumed for the longest time that the two went together. Now I can envision a version of myself that is a confident introvert. Who would've thought!

  • @sidekickbottom
    @sidekickbottom Před 9 lety +7

    99% of the times people are not confident because they think they are not good looking.

  • @JayStation
    @JayStation Před 8 lety +6

    Fake it till u make it. fake ur confidence until its just natural

  • @tonydelariva7163
    @tonydelariva7163 Před 7 lety +1

    Thanks Leo. Good stuff. Much appreciated. I knew that affirmations and visualizations are good, I just forgot about them and I'm going to start them again now. Just because you get older, doesn't necessarily mean you are immune to self-confidence issues.

  • @AbrahamAndHerFriends
    @AbrahamAndHerFriends Před 9 lety

    Thank so much for your great videos! I've been looking for something like this for a long time! So great to see someone dealing with the same issues that I have, and has answers to fix them!

  • @Angelo-z2i
    @Angelo-z2i Před 9 lety +16

    Is it possible to become confident sober like when you are drunk? when i have a few glasses of alcohol i just don't give a shit and am confident talking to girls. But i want to do that when sober.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 9 lety +8

      Yup, I've done it and so have many other guys. You gotta open a lot of first in a row. Try opening 20 girls in 60 minutes.

  • @alexlopez3517
    @alexlopez3517 Před 7 lety +4

    I lack conifedence at school. The people at school make me feel less and make me want to keep my voice inside. Afrer this video i think i wont let them do that
    I lack confidence in talking and socializing
    A confident person would speak out and wont care what others say for what that person has said.
    i lack confidence in talking to teachers
    A confident person would try socializing more and speaking out more in class.

  • @jettanthony4902
    @jettanthony4902 Před 8 lety

    You are the most helpful person! Ive been trying to find videos that help and articles, but you are the only person who's brought it down to my level and brought it to an easy understanding. Thank you!

  • @alexbaigus
    @alexbaigus Před 10 lety

    hey thank god i found you, i become an introvert after a relation went bad, the fact is that i was the perfect kind of person i managed to make friends with everybody and i was a natural leader.. im working on fixing myself up again. thank you :)

    • @alexbaigus
      @alexbaigus Před 8 lety

      omg 2 years passed since this comment, I changed completely since ahaha

  • @frnsh9
    @frnsh9 Před 8 lety +18

    Hey Leo. I live in Finland and majority of people in here are introverts. Can it be that nothing specific has happened to them and it is just that they have got used to it since they were born? Is it a bad society that could be a lot better if people could be more extroverted?

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 8 lety +13

      +farnoush samani It's probably the culture.

    • @annamayes7058
      @annamayes7058 Před 7 lety

      I want to date with you:)

    • @frnsh9
      @frnsh9 Před 7 lety +1

      With me?

    • @chch1829
      @chch1829 Před 7 lety

      farnoush samani me too ! i want to date you ! 🤗

    • @thebodyimagetherapistyyc
      @thebodyimagetherapistyyc Před 7 lety

      farnoush samani czcams.com/video/V14hefQyulA/video.html hey check out my latest video on this topic if you like it's about how to embrace your quirks and be confident anyways , I am a mental health therapist and want to help others with tips to build self esteem and confidence :)

  • @pulkitbhardwaj1988
    @pulkitbhardwaj1988 Před 9 lety +4

    I have a problem when you generalize extroversion to confidence and introversion to shyness . Looking deep within and observing the world from there is what introversion is all about . Shyness however is the ability to not express oneself in social situations . Iv seen many extroverted people crawl back in when asked to speak in public , and there have been many introverts who are excellent speakers and connect with audience on a deep philosophical level .
    I enjoy a lot of your videos . Iam rather perturbed at how you oversimplified this definition . I would define myself as an opportunist ambi-vert which is quite a bad unstable space to be in .
    Cheers.

    • @msjreneful
      @msjreneful Před 9 lety +1

      I agree. My profession deals with public speaking and I'm great at it. I also don't believe he took into account how as introverts the energy is exhausted in dealing with people. I exercise both extrovert and intro characteristics but I lean more towards intro. I had house guests over and I was social and had a great time, but after two hours I was ready for them to leave. My husband being the extrovert he is thought I was being negative and didn't understand, but I was truly drained. It wasn't because I wanted to hide due to shyness. I literally get tired of being around people nonstop after a few hours. I don't even care if people view it as anti social. I enjoy my own company! Lol. This is a great video and I do think people can become introverted due to traumatic events and so forth, but that's not the case for everyone. I think he does a disservice by simplifying introversion to social anxiety and shyness. Extroverts deal with confidence issues too.

  • @parfecto7716
    @parfecto7716 Před 9 lety

    Hi, Leo! I discovered your videos by chance one week ago and since then i succeeded to put order in some of my thoughts and have a more logical perspective on life and that helped me sleep so much better. And that is a biiiiiiiig step for me. Thank you so much!

  • @yasmin12333
    @yasmin12333 Před 9 lety

    I watched all the video about confidence on CZcams but this one it's the best... Thank you so much

  • @wulf67
    @wulf67 Před 9 lety +39

    You keep confusing the term "introvert" with shyness, and you keep asserting that introversion is some kind of problem that can be or even should be changed. All of those assumptions are misguided.

    • @helenaville5939
      @helenaville5939 Před 9 lety +7

      wulf67 No they're not.Shyness and introversion are both based on lack of confidence. Same remedy for each. Coming out of one's shell doesn't mean having to give up enjoying one's own company or being forced to deal with people we don't like. It just means finding the happy balance and being in control of how we interact with our fellow human beings - instead of having our interaction controlled by past experiences or by other people's approval or disapproval. I'm an extrovert and I love spending time alone..... wouldn't give it up for the world. Balance is key.

    • @wulf67
      @wulf67 Před 9 lety +9

      Helenaville Google any reputable source on the subject and you will see that you are wrong, If you're really interested study the work of Carl Jung.

    • @helenaville5939
      @helenaville5939 Před 9 lety +2

      wulf67 I have covered the works of Jung both as an undergraduate and as part of my Psychology post grad studies. But that's not even relevant since no-one needs to study Jung to disprove your above assertion.
      Your reply is rather juvenile since all it contains is (a) a suggestion that a person should go use google, and (b) the implication that Jung was correct so that if we study him we too will be correct. Nonsense, some of the most reputable minds have disagreed with many of Jung's theories. Perhaps it is you who needs to go use google. I suggest you start with "How to defend your opinion in a mature way".
      Have a nice day.

    • @wulf67
      @wulf67 Před 9 lety +7

      Name one "reputable mind" who suggests that introversion has anything to do with a "lack of confidence" or that either introversion or extroversion can or even should be changed. I will read their work and come back with a rebuttal. OK go.

    • @helenaville5939
      @helenaville5939 Před 9 lety +2

      wulf67 "Ok go."?? Excuse me.... you may get away with that in your own home, but I certainly do not fall into step at your command. You clearly have a problem not only with debating in a mature manner, but also with basic interaction. "Now go" indeed. Only an idiot would consider engaging at this low level of interaction with you. And since I am not an idiot I have no intention of wasting my time doing so. Sounds like you have some growing up to do. I wish you well. Goodbye. (Ok go? It's actually quite funny that you would even expect to find someone to engage with you in a discussion after displaying such a condescending style, lol.)

  • @ryanp5052
    @ryanp5052 Před 8 lety +5

    My problem is small talk, I don't have anything to talk about and I find the "how are you how's the kids blah blah" talk so so boring I'd rather not speak, I feel like I don't have anything worth speaking about either, I honestly have nothing going on in my life to bring up. Any advise welcome...?

    • @user-vj7qh2sc4f
      @user-vj7qh2sc4f Před 8 lety

      +Ryan Parks How about talking about tv? Talking about cartoons is always interesting

    • @ryanp5052
      @ryanp5052 Před 8 lety

      ***** Thats not a bad idea im going to take that advise! Cheers ahdriam!

    • @KevinRkGaming
      @KevinRkGaming Před 8 lety

      Same

  • @charlotterose1557
    @charlotterose1557 Před 4 lety

    you just always make sooo much sense! thank you again! every video i watch makes me a better person

  • @heidiy6015
    @heidiy6015 Před 5 lety

    I am so grateful to come up with your video.

  • @BlindlyLooking
    @BlindlyLooking Před 10 lety +3

    I don't think that most of us introverts want to turn into extroverts.
    We think of them as shallow and simple people that glorify social expectations.
    I don't see a reason why introversion and confidence would be mutually exclusive.
    Unless you simply mean "shy."

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  Před 10 lety +3

      Yes, you can be a confident introvert. I just find that many people who have confidence issues tend to be introverts. Extroverts don't have this problem as much. I personally struggled with shyness a lot. I still do. But when I push myself to be more extroverted, the shyness is relieved. I also think that many people label themselves "introvert" when in fact what they are is just socially inexperienced and cooped up.

    • @BlindlyLooking
      @BlindlyLooking Před 10 lety

      Actualized.org Alright, thanks for clarifying.

  • @acediatristitia4587
    @acediatristitia4587 Před 9 lety +3

    I don't entirely follow what you say about introversion.
    What you're saying may be true for some introverts, even most introverts, but not all. We're all individuals, we all differ in ways.
    Some introverts might be brimming with confidence, it's just that they find most people uninteresting or unintelligent, or what's going on inside their own heads, or in the physical world around them, may generally and genuinely be more captivating and compelling than the people around them, in their view, from their perspective.
    Perhaps some extroverts never spend anytime in their heads dreaming, or analyzing themselves and others because they're poor analyzers, or, they're afraid of what they might find there, so they compulsively distract themselves and keep busy.
    Being an introvert isn't just about being asocial, for some, it's about being more discriminating about who you associate with, who let into your life, because people can take advantage of you, or disrespect you, which can have emotional, even financial/legal and physical consequences. Relationships have positives and negatives, they can take a lot of work, more isn't necessarily merrier, some people only need that one person or two they can really confide in, who really gets them, and they can draw from and share their values and wisdom.
    As for confidence, not all confidence is equally warranted, there is a time to learn, and a time to teach, a time to be silent, and a time to shout from the rooftops. Should an uneducated, inexperienced person with an iQ of 85 be as confident in his job/social circle as an educated, experienced person with an iQ of 130, and so on, you see where i'm going wit this? Perhaps he can work on himself, some of those areas, and build meaningful confidence, but some of his shyness may be warranted, he might make a fool of himself if he attempts to emulate the leader of his pack's charisma.
    I think there's a danger in moving from the particular to the general, from thinking the advice you needed to hear at the time, is what everyone needs to hear all the time.
    Still, some of what you're saying resonates with me, and I think applies to me right now.

    • @helenaville5939
      @helenaville5939 Před 9 lety

      Acedia Tristitia The only people who ever claim that introverson is a good thing are introverts who have not yet got over their fear of exiting the safety of their shell and taking their rightful place in the world. They always talk in extremes - extreme introversion or extreme extroversion, stating things like "but I don't want to be the life and soul of the party" or "but I enjoy my own company". Extroverts are not necessarily the life and soul of the party - only extreme extroverts are like that. And extroverts too can be people who enjoy their own company. Being an extrovert just means being willing and able - without fear - to deal with anyone and any situation without feeling a need to avoid them or it completely, looking the world right in the eye instead of avoiding eye contact with it as most introverts do.
      I'm an extrovert. I'm never the life and soul of the party because that's just not my style. But I have time and a kind word for everyone I meet, just because I know that living this way makes my little world and their little world a much nicer place to inhabit. If I come across loud or aggressive people I avoid them because they are a vexation to the spirit. Being an extrovert just means being in control, not allowing any past experiences or current opinions dictate how you interact with your fellow human beings. You deserve to be liberated from all the crap you had to endure that made you seek refuge in a quiet shell in the first place. Only you can liberate yourself from that and find like-minded people to make your life a happy and contented one. Go for it.

    • @theeeediotr
      @theeeediotr Před 6 lety

      Helenaville There are quiet extroverts and outgoing introverts.

  • @knight-hit-the-light
    @knight-hit-the-light Před 7 lety +1

    Those technics are awesome !!! Even their require a big discipline ! But as we all know, No pain, no gain !
    thank you for your videos 😊

  • @MikeJones-jt5kl
    @MikeJones-jt5kl Před 6 lety

    Another great video Leo with those badass personal development skills

  • @Aris-Darling
    @Aris-Darling Před 8 lety +12

    I generally like your videos but the idea of everyone being born extroverted is simply ignorant. There are shades of personalities and there is nothing wrong with being introverted. Perhaps some people are made to become an introvert through life, but many of us (in fact, perhaps a whole continent of people) are simply born that way - preferring to think than to speak, to express themselves gently to not impose on others, and to be silently confident in who they are. Maybe the book Quiet by Susan Cain will enlighten you on the world of introverts.

    • @robertretro86
      @robertretro86 Před 8 lety +3

      I can't find in this video where Leo says "There is something wrong with introverts."

    • @sarasabrawi9480
      @sarasabrawi9480 Před 8 lety

      as usual introverts love to jump on the conclusion that everybody's out to get them and think something's wrong with them.

  • @safihabhab2944
    @safihabhab2944 Před 4 lety +4

    Bottom line of this 18 min video :
    -face and experience situations where you see yourself not confident
    -Repeat "i love being confident" and "i don't care about other's opinions" each for 5 minutes a day
    -Daydream yourself in situations where you feel not confident
    -socialize more
    You're welcome

  • @ramtinsirous9224
    @ramtinsirous9224 Před 9 lety

    I'm 19 and I have a lack of confidence and anxiety. I was worse til I started attending consulting sessions. I still have those problems. This video really gave me a good idea. I DEFINITELY be going to do my assignment for 2 months without missing a day!

  • @StatusPotential
    @StatusPotential Před 9 lety +1

    thank you Leo, your videos always inspire me to reflect and take action.

  • @adddieptai4293
    @adddieptai4293 Před 7 lety +5

    This is a rather small detail, and completely besides the purpose of this video.
    However, I really appreciate that you used both male and female pronouns in this video.
    Too often, confidence is tied to being a "male" thing.

  • @MultipleChoice162
    @MultipleChoice162 Před 9 lety +4

    let's see how confident he is in an mma fight with Rampage Jackson lol

  • @soumalily1548
    @soumalily1548 Před 6 lety +1

    I just adore the way you deliver your speeches!

  • @fizaraza5917
    @fizaraza5917 Před 8 lety

    I had a lot of experience in searching for the perfect way to be more confident but this advise is so far the beat one!

  • @MrNolan710
    @MrNolan710 Před 8 lety +7

    He just goes on and on and never gets to the point or how to help you.

    • @OoGoOdDEaTHoO
      @OoGoOdDEaTHoO Před 8 lety

      +Hubert cumberdale have you already dont them?

  • @K3nU1983
    @K3nU1983 Před 5 lety

    Limiting belief and the surrounding absolutely affect a person’ growth. Especially confidence level. I was in such situation and had to grow out of it. Even today I am still struggling from my background to fully express myself confidently. And buy not saying I am not confident, subconsciously helps to reprogram the mindset. Thanks for sharing Leo.

  • @MegaJayPerez
    @MegaJayPerez Před 9 lety

    You videos are such an inspiration and id like to say thank you for the fact that now I finally found ways to better myself as a person and tink so much clearer. I will continue to watch your videos and definitely spread the word. Thank you once again

  • @HAPPEYEJIJO
    @HAPPEYEJIJO Před 7 lety +1

    Awesome Leo! Amazing talk. It was boosting my confidence level. It really worth. Thank you very much

  • @humanonearth1
    @humanonearth1 Před 6 lety

    Thanks Leo. You're speaking truth and it really shines through. May you be blessed. Peace and Love.

  • @marcuswhite1810
    @marcuswhite1810 Před 4 lety

    This dude literally touched on everything I do which is all the above my self consequence wont leave me alone me honestly I think the shit weird so I know other ppl do

  • @robertjackson4877
    @robertjackson4877 Před rokem

    Thank you for helping me evolve me as a person I really enjoyed you and I truly am becoming the best version of myself keep expressing truth and continue to help free the life of others

  • @devonlanglais6173
    @devonlanglais6173 Před 7 lety

    you are really helping me. you have no idea how much I need this!

  • @darciee.7337
    @darciee.7337 Před 4 lety

    I was a very lively child but got bullied by other girls and boys and school, especially after I was diagnosed with ocd by my mother and well meaning friends at the age of 10. Also my family was looked down on because my dad was narcissistic and rude. My mom and my older sister picked me apart during my teenage years. I believe these things are why I’m not confident. Thank you for this video.

  • @lucangopal3096
    @lucangopal3096 Před 7 lety

    wow - brilliant insight. A psychologist mentioned the same factors which brought me to your video. You are literally changing lives with your content

  • @ladyjay2884
    @ladyjay2884 Před 6 lety

    I am introvert because I never learned how to be secure around people. I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety because being bullied all thru school. But thank God I am better off today. But I do still deal with social anxiety due to the self limiting beliefs, which I developed while being bullied. But everyday I work on renewing my mind and this really helps.. Thank YOu...

  • @pedrocardoso-zs7qq
    @pedrocardoso-zs7qq Před 9 lety

    thaks leo im starting my self development evolution. you are a great helper. thanks

  • @LoryKa
    @LoryKa Před 9 lety +2

    you're incredible man ... awesome !

  • @malcolmlondon1325
    @malcolmlondon1325 Před 6 lety +1

    Thank you for helping us make sense of ourselves. I appreciate your sincere efforts to uplift humanity.

  • @odinfrancis1048
    @odinfrancis1048 Před 9 lety

    Please talk about these three topics, you are awesome.
    1. Laughing at yourself
    2. Laughing with everybody else.. Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin.
    3. Standing up for you!

  • @honyagummy5131
    @honyagummy5131 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you Leo, for all ur amazing videos, they really changed my way of thinking somehow. Also, ur videos answer all of my questions. Yeah I admit it, sometimes I am really lazy to take actions to change . Or maybe I'm just too scared sometimes to get out of my comfort zone. But I will do my best to change 😊thank you again ☺️

  • @rachelmadrid8807
    @rachelmadrid8807 Před 7 lety

    affirmations,visualizations,and live it . OK I will try it consistently and hope for the best!!

  • @FatysCorner
    @FatysCorner Před 6 lety +2

    You ganna change my life to the better!! I believe on that !! So Thank you❤❤

  • @jorgepatino2138
    @jorgepatino2138 Před 8 lety

    I just want to share this to you Leo: I'm in college and I try to socialize with people everyday and share what I have to say to them, I'm honest with my intentions to know what the other person has to share but lately I talked to a lot of people and many of them are boring or find it akward to share their personal stuff with me they only want to talk about stuff like studies, major and college and they don't make this exercise easier either a lot of times

  • @jeffsoto2680
    @jeffsoto2680 Před 8 lety +1

    Im very weak in this area of my life but I will continue seeing more videos thanks

  • @marydelynnthomann586
    @marydelynnthomann586 Před 7 lety

    I love your no nonsense approach.

  • @nisreen
    @nisreen Před 7 lety

    I love your video and I promise you and myself that I will be confident and stop pleasing everyone else but me.

  • @deborahadebamowo3666
    @deborahadebamowo3666 Před 5 lety

    This was so liberating!!! Your wisdom is simply inspiring!

  • @humabarak7664
    @humabarak7664 Před 8 lety

    Your videos and tips are amazing !

  • @rulebreakers7607
    @rulebreakers7607 Před 8 lety

    Thanks so much!! This is really helping me!! I appreciate you doing this! Thx!!

  • @gvbhatt3096
    @gvbhatt3096 Před 9 lety

    Thanks Leo. I will try what you suggested!

  • @yws4645
    @yws4645 Před 9 lety +1

    You're the man Leo!

  • @tomn3136
    @tomn3136 Před 6 lety

    Your videos have helped me change my mindset and really improve my life. I really appreciate the time you take to help others. Thank you