Tips To Declutter When You're Feeling Unmotivated
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- How to declutter when you have no motivation to do it? Join me in this deep dive into the emotional aspects of decluttering your home. In this video, I share give you the real ways you can declutter your home even if you are not emotionally ready. How do you emotionally detach and let go of your possessions to prepare your home for sale?
Emotional Decluttering:
Understand the emotional challenges of decluttering and how to overcome them.
Practical Tips: Get actionable advice on sorting and removing items from your home effectively.
Resource Guide: Learn about essential resources and tools that can help you in your decluttering journey, including our comprehensive Seller Playbook available at SellerPlaybook.com.
Key Takeaways:
* Why decluttering is more than just putting things in a box.
* How to handle the overwhelming feeling of letting go of your belongings.
* Strategies for emotional and physical decluttering.
* The importance of taking it one step at a time to maintain clarity and reduce stress.
Your thoughts and experiences are invaluable! Share your decluttering journey in the comments below or ask questions you might have about moving and selling your home. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and click the bell icon for more videos on decluttering and home selling tips.
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Chapters
00:00 Intro
01:12 Start One Step at a Time
05:35 Seller's Checklist
06:59 Emotional Attachment
07:47 Resources
09:20 Step by Step Guide
12:20 Four Boxes
13:00 One Year Rule
13:27 Seek Out Appraisers
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Hey, Kati Spaniak here, I’m a top Chicago North Shore Real Estate Agent. Thanks for watching my channel your ultimate guide to selling and buying homes in the Chicagoland area. Specializing in the vibrant communities of Northbrook, Glenview, Northfield, Wilmette, Kenilworth, Winnetka, Glencoe, Highland Park, Lake Forest and Deerfield. I offer expert advice and insider tips to navigate the North Shore Chicago real estate market with ease.
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*Here's a book I recommend-it really helped me through my own process of letting go.* The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up amzn.to/3UPSIBy
My husband passed two yrs ago. I am just getting to this point of knowing it's time to release. I'm picking and choosing slowly. I will be moving ,at what point yet I do not know yet I am moving emotionally now. Thank you for your videos. They have been leading me forward. This is a ministry you have whether you realize it or not. Continue serving as you are. Shalom🙏♥️🌼
Thank you, Jacquie. That means a lot to our whole team. I do what I do in my bubble from behind my desk. Sometimes it's amazing to see that we had 30,000 people watch our videos on one single day. It seems surreal, yet. I strive every day to help as many people as I can understand this difficult process. Thank you for your comment.
I'm 65 and I'm going through the decluttering process (again). I'm not a hoarder, but I have to get rid of everything because I can't afford to move it. It's like denying my life ever existed. I've thrown away the obvious stuff and donated everything that has value. Now I am having trouble with the things that have meaning. I know I have to do it. I live alone and it's not a lot of stuff, but it still hurts to deny my life ever happened.
I'm so sorry you feel that way. I know how hard it can be. I know you can do it.
@lisaspimplified Do you really need to release the essentials? Like family photos- those you could scan into a removavle flash drive memory stick? Heirlooms- can you expand?
@@teresalopez7081 Thank you for your kind response. Yes, I need to release the essentials. I am alone and moving out of State and need to go a light as possible. I've been digitizing the photos - it's time consuming and I think it's a big part of the problem. I need to stop going down memory lane. Most of the pain is the outdoor projects I've dedicated a lot of time physical effort to and they can't come with me. I was turning my backyard into a food forest and made a lot of progress. I have several fruit trees that I can't take with me. I'm learning how to propagate but I'm not having much success. It's just depressing.
@@KatiSpaniak Thank you for all your tips and encouragement. It's just something that has to happen.
Yeah that would be hard for me to do too! 😭
I used to be a professional organizer. I was a counselor, declutter expert, helped get people's photos and film digitized and got systems in place to support continued ways to keep homes and businesses organized and clean. I've been digitizing my and my ancestors' photos. Throwing away photos is both scary and freeing at the same time. I also used to work for a police department and we had to weed through several hoarder homes which usually had many animals like dogs or cats in it too, often with some animals already dead or dying. It was both awful and heartrenching. Also, getting my clothes clean after some of those times was impossible getting the odor out. As a 63 year old woman, I rarely buy anything now. I am already purging.
It can also be very difficult to get rid of things that were for a future you wanted or hoped for. Letting go means accepting the loss of a dream.
Omg this is so helpful. Thank you for this comment. I have been trying to figure out why I’m crying trying to get rid of baby clothes for my kids who are 9 and 11 😂😂
Well put. I am struggling over the decision to list or not list a house my husband and I bought as a second home. We had big plans for it, but he died before we could execute that plan. So, while it makes perfect sense to Sell it now, I am torn up over it. The house is indeed one of broken dreams.
Very good point. Thank you
Exactly. The loss of hope. The death of a dream. It's gut-wrenching.
Your firmness balanced with compassion and empathy is deeply appreciated…thank you for your sincere heart to help~
Thank you!
No I’m crying…. Our adult daughter died 6 years ago every day I think I’ll be able to get rid of the stuff but when you open a box knowing you’ll be in agony looking at it you stop to protect yourself.We don’t live in our home now we rent in another state but I have got to step forward to clean out the stuff.. this is purgatory so thank you for your kindness and understanding. Peace to you and yours.
Thinking about you and your family. My nephew died last year and the pain has been unbearable for our family. No words can express. 🙏
I lost my adult daughter too. Moving and going through so many memories, pictures and treasures of hers. So hard!!!
@@KatiSpaniakI’m so sorry for the loss of your nephew.
@@sunshinedaisy9879 Thank you
I feel sometimes, if it’s that hard, just keep it. Whether it’s out or you box it up, go ahead and leave that for someone else to do because it’ll be easier for them than you. I’m so sorry for your loss. God bless you. 🙏🏼
If you have ever watched a documentary on helping horders, you know it’s emotional. De-cluttering for a move or home sale is very similar although we may not have stuff stacked on counters or hallways. We tend to hang on to things in a neater manner and for similar reasons. You are very compassionate for recognizing this and especially for wanting to help. 💕
Getting rid of stuff can also be therapeutic. My daughter is going thru a terrible, years-long divorce and has been getting rid of everything from that marriage. She is replacing furniture, clothing, vehicle, home decor...everything that belonged to the marriage. I advised this early in the separation and it has really helped her emotionally. She only has a few things left, but by fall it should all be gone.
Thank you for sharing this personal story. It's inspiring to hear how decluttering has been a source of strength for your daughter during this challenging period.
It's a REAL freedom to downsize and declutter to match the life you are living NOW. Thank you, Katie you hit the soul of what strength you need to approach the correct mindset to fully declutter. The end result and feeling of freedom is SO worth it.
Thank you!
My wife's dad passed away a few years ago. When we cleaned out his apartment, I was ready to donate and distribute. I told my wife that I wasn't going to do yard sales over this stuff, that she'd have to do that herself. She was fiercely adamant that it needed to be sold, not donated. It sat in our garage for 2-years, and I finally had to move it to a storage unit and it's already cost me way more than we could have gotten by selling it. I know she's postponing feelings of loss, guilt, and grief. But it's driving a wedge.
why won't you help her with yard sales? sounds like something is off.
@@Jendromeda Its possible he knows a yard sale won't really work. People haggling prices down may be too difficult for her as well as what will be done with items that don't even sell. Of course I don't know them, but I have seen it happen with sellers at yard sales .
@Jendromeda No, she's being selfish, wasting money on storing stuff that she wants to sell. Sounds like some of my family members who are stingy and sentimental. They place too much importance on things, which is a choice that affects their relationships with others. And with my family who are like this, they want to control the value and use of their useless stuff by selling it rather than giving freely, or if they give, it has to be given to someone they know will use it. It has to have value or else they feel like they are doing something immoral by throwing something out that potentially has some use and value.
@@Jendromeda Maybe you weren't paying attention to the video when she said, "No one wants your stuff". Plus I hate the nit picking, haggling over pennies stuff. It takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort to sell old used stuff with no value. But I never cease to be amazed at the number of strangers on the internet that feel like it's their right and duty to openly criticize and talk down to others when they know nothing of them nor their situations. Have a nice life.
There is a CZcams channel called curiosity incorporated, he talks a lot about what items are valuable. Maybe something to look into to just get an idea of what items are worth the effort to sell and what items are easier to donate instead. My guess is selling on Etsy or eBay is a better option than selling locally when it comes to valuable stuff because there is much more exposure to more people.
As far as your wife goes with her grieving maybe she just needs you to acknowledge that it's ok to grieve and process her grief at her own pace. Telling her on day one that she needs to hurry up and that you don't want to support her in her journey is hard for an average spouse. ( my husband is the same way so I am telling you how it makes the wife feel). I've known people that literally donated everything a parent owned the week the parent died, it kind of feels like someone ripped a piece of your heart out before you could even say a word.
Oh Kati, you have a good heart, & its your genuine kindness for others that have brought the success you have. Ive learned so much from your videos.
Oh... thank you so much!
Selling a home you have loved is like having to pack up your memories and belongings and unpack them in a foreign country! I am single and in my late 40s and struggling now, I have been in my beautiful SFH for almost 8 years now, but I think I am at the end of my rope for wanting to do yard work etc. I used to LOVE it and look forward to getting the yard looking pretty every spring and adding new flowers to the flower beds, and this year I am dreading it all. Then the constant repairs and mainatance, that is getting old now as well, currently looking at brand new town homes in my area and wondering if it's time to move on to a lower maintenance home. Thankfully I have always been some what of a minimalist so I don't have a ton of stuff to deal with.
I totally understand that. We currently have a beautiful home we absolutely love on the market.
We are going to downsize to a villa, maintenance free living, live more minimal and simple.
@@lorisutton2423 Thanks for the comment, and best of luck with your move!
I'm in a battle with myself, wanting to downsize to a 55+ community. My dilemma is the HOA fees are 4x more than it takes me to maintain my current home. Sigh.
@@BlueMoon-pz9pp Yup, my mother lives in a 55 plus,, she is in her 70s, and her condo fee just doubled because they are having so much trouble getting insurance, as they have put out a lot of claims due to falls and injury,, plus the general higher risk of litigation in a 55 plus condo. Honestly you can find some quieter non 55 plus town homes, there is a condo development in my area that is not 55 plus, but most of the residents are.
Reach out if you need help, or join our facebook group to help get you through it! facebook.com/groups/theprofitablehomeowners
My sister died a little over a year ago. And my mom died three years ago. I now have some of their possessions in bins in my living room. I find it hard to get rid of it even though I don’t want the stuff. Part of me thinks that I should keep it and part of me just wants it gone. I have no emotional attachment to the stuff it’s just that it belonged to them and they valued it. It is so hard.
You’re so far ahead of most because you’re not emotionally attached to any of your loved ones things. Those things can really help someone who needs them so please move them out and just add your blessings to them. It’s very satisfying and the stress relief is huge.
Hi, Kati! This is probably my most favorite video of yours thus far! I was having lunch with my cousin yesterday and told her about you and how much I’ve benefitted from your advice. She’s getting ready to sell her house and is struggling. As she starts watching your videos, I know that she’s going to come to appreciate you just as much as I do. Thank you soooo much, Kati! You are a bright, shining light!
Oh Barbara. Thank you so much. This means more than you can imagine. Thank you!!! I want to make a difference. Thank you!
A Hoarder's Heart( on CZcams) is really good at showing how she deals with emotional attachment when it comes to her possessions. Decluttering is like a muscle, it's really hard at first, so you do the least sentimental items first, and it gets easier with time and that's when you get to sentimental items( photos, children's baby clothes, kids toys, sentimental clothing ...). I still hold on to baby clothes but I am pregnant and hopeful after three miscarriages. I did try giving boxes of baby clothes to expecting mothers but somehow no one wanted anything so maybe there is a reason I still need them. Besides the children's stuff( in the attic) I only have one 5ft shelf of sentimental things and my wedding gown. ( I never fit into it after I had babies). My parents moved countries and states several times so they left nothing from my childhood except a few pictures. It's the other extreme of hoarding which is bad too.
Thank you for this!!
I think some of the stuff I hang on to is because "I want to be that person..."-the person who reads those books, cooks those great meals, makes those crafts, etc. I am beginning to acknowledge that as much as I "want" to be that person, I'm not, and I probably won't be that person anytime soon.
I moved to America 5 yrs ago after living in Canada for 20 years. I am an immigrant from Colombia so the first part of your video got me! I never thought about why it was so difficult for me to get rid of my clutter. Now I know that getting rid of all my old stuff is like starting all over again in a new country.
Thank you for your comment!
We are about to list our house and kept most of our stuff since we don't own a lot, but our kids have a lot of toys. We got a storage unit to declutter the house for stagging and getting it ready to sell. My 3yr old saw her play sets in the storage unit and said, "How can you do this to me?" and she started crying it made me feel bad even though it is temporary. The hardest thing for me to get rid of was my kids' wooden playground I built in the backyard. The whole time, I was cutting it up and throwing it in the bed of my truck. I was thinking about all the times my daughter and I would play on it.
I’m so sorry
You’re very good at what you do and extremely helpful.
Thank you so much!
I have a lot of trouble getting rid of pictures, my goal is to digitize them all. Huge undertaking but I do have the time so am going to start doing this👍🏼
You can do it! Just start slow!! Five a day!
@@KatiSpaniakgreat advice.
Oh me too. I just feel like I’m throwing a piece of the person away. I like your idea of digitizing.
Thanks. I donated half of the quilts I had from my greats-grandma and aunts. I ended up with many things because I’ve always had storage. A bunch of old dolls because I liked them when I was little. Legacy box. That’s a great idea.
Thanks!
Sooooo true. Thank you😘
You are so welcome
Been purging for years and attempting to inspire and motivate my spouse to do likewise. Selling when appropriate/feasible, giving away on Buy Nothing or Craigslist, donating to charity as a last resort. Have a Death Box of stuff that's only relevant to me. Next step is a consumer-grade midcentury bedroom set I love but has been in storage for two decades and I will never use again; declined by a consignment shop, it may also go on Buy Nothing.
Have one of the Kodak scanners and will do a 2nd purge of my dozen boxes of prints over the summer (I hope). I'm a pro photog but my work isn't Getty Images-quality, not that I'd want to sell rights to them anyway.
Another great video, Kati! Thanks! I have to say as I'm approaching my 6th decade on this planet next month that I have a few pieces of furniture from my parents which where from my Mom's parents. I'm so over them but need to figure out if anyone is interested. One is a solid oak "entry bench" that is in my dining room. I've NEVER used it for anything other than "show". Another is a small oak roll top desk (in pretty good condition) but I know it's not really that functional for today. You've given me information that is helpful and I am thankful I have time to figure stuff out.
Thank you, Laurie!!
Great idea. I can make photo books or digital photobooks online.
I’ve got AuDHD and am trying to get out of an abusive relationship. I’m a SAHM and I homeschool my two AuDHD kiddos. People keep telling me I should sell stuff to start saving. I tried so hard. I even got stuff in boxes but can’t see how anyone would want any of it and I start talking g myself out of certain things and it’s just every emotion from over the years is trapped in each object. I always knew I had boarder tendencies but I did not realize decluttering would be so emotionally painful.
I'm so sorry.. yes. It's incredibly difficult and you are in an even tougher situation. Please hang in there.
I had 30 boxes of slides too! I picked out the best of the best of the best, had them turned into prints and made ONE photo album for me and ONE for my brother. Any more than that is too overwhelming to look at.
That's a smart way to handle all those slides!
I'm going to take a different approach to this. If you are going from a 4-bedroom house to a one-bedroom apartment - yes, you have little choice: most of it will have to go. And that is the decision the person has to make. Some people move to an apartment because they want the simplicity, others can't afford anything else - but what bothers me is when I hear elderly people being told by their children that they 'must' move in with them - even if the person is quite capable of living on their own or maybe with a roommate. In order to keep peace, they go along with their children's demands - having no choice but to get rid of everything (unspoken words: so, their kids don't have to deal with it). I do not have kids, but if I did and they started making those demands - I'd stand up for my rights - just as they did when they became adults.
I have so many things that I’m trying to downsize because my husband has advanced stage dementia so I’m trying to get rid of things in case I have to move once he’s gone. And I don’t have any children so I have several mementos that I literally don’t have anyone to pass these on to. And I keep finding myself fighting an internal battle about whether to keep or let go. Thanks for this video.
Take care of yourself. Thank you for your comment... you can do this!
I am going to start cleaning and declutterring my home, one room at a time. I am 81 years old and have lived in this home 51 years. I have somewhat regularly gone through things but I have decided on a new mindset. I am not planning on selling our home, but I’m also not planning on getting sick or dying. I have decided to put a date on my white board on my sewing room for a date to pit my house on the market. I am giving my self a year’s deadline. I have decided that I will try to remove at least one thing each day. I am an organized woman and my room is organized but there is just too much. I have decided that if I get rid of something that down the road I might need, I have enough money to buy a replacement. Wish me luck.
You can do it!!! Good for you! I'm here for you!!
I need help with clothes, my weakness! Right now I only have out 95% of my clothes out the rest is packed and I am actually doing okay with it. I love the look now with my walk in closet now. Problem is when I move how much do I keep! Like new and paid money for it so hard to let it go!
The money is irretrievable. My mom used to say these phrases all the time: "it's new!" "it's good!" "it's expensive!" Well, none of that did her any good when she was dead! Look up "sunk cost fallacy."
It's always tough deciding what clothes to keep when moving. Maybe try Marie Kondo's method of keeping only items that spark joy!
It's so nice to see how much you value and care for what you do, Kati.
Thank you!!
Boy oh boy I don’t know how to rid myself of stuff so I can sell. Retired widower of 4 years…
Just go slow. Take your time. Be kind to yourself
@@KatiSpaniak Thanks, I joined your group last week. I know it'll help.
Wow. A human being real estate agent. Most of them just want money.
Thank you!! It’s been a tough week!! Appreciate it
It was 4 minutes 58 seconds before you actually said or gave any advice. It's like," get to the point,please".
Just put the video speed up. That’s what I do. You got options other than being a dick.
Please be kind or don’t comment!
You should’ve seen it before I cut it!!
Siri and AI might fit your preferences better. Most people have empathy and emotions.