The Guv' describes all the ways the French have lost it over the years. ------------ Follow the Al on Twitter at / almurray Become a fan on Facebook at / thepublandlord
HEAVEN is where the Police are British, the Cooks are French, the Mechanics German, the Lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. HELL is when the Police are German, the Cooks are British, the Mechanics French, the Lovers are Swiss and it’s all organised by the Italians!
The British reacted to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was due to a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
Durian Durian Well the particular Normans you are referring to were Vikings, vikings who scared the French so much they just gave them all of Normandy.
Look for the We Have Ways of Making You Talk podcast. It's him and a Historian talking about the Second World War. Really interesting. Only over 400 episodes so far.
@@shashankdeepak879 French soldiers covered the British evacuation at Dunkirk. Churchill himself paid homage to the french soldiers in his memoirs. Here’s what he wrote: “The heroic resistance of the French army saved the British and allowed them to continue the war.”
@@shashankdeepak879 It’s ok. But yeah, this jokes cease to be funny when one know that around 60,000 french soldiers died. And that during that invasion, the germans also slaughtered 21,000 french civilians… The SS casually used french civilians as human shields in Northern France when they were fighting against french and british soldiers. What happened was a true tragedy.
American here: I asked this English guy once about that whole English/French thing. Don sat quietly for a moment then looked at me all nasty. “They think they’re better than us!”
I'm froggie and he's quite right about people asking too many questions!!! They're doing my head in at times...When it does happen, I just tell them politely "Just mind your business..." Al Murray is one of the best, very, very funny! F..... hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣
Midnight on December 31st 1999. In Paris, they held a huge fireworks celebration for the new Millenium. France Surrendered :-))... And why are the Paris Avenues lined with trees? So the German soldiers could march in the shade :-))... A German went to France for holiday. French border staff - Occupation? German tourist: No. Just visiting. :-))... And why do the French like to eat snails? They don't like fast food :-))...
Subtle joke about the French asking too many questions...I think he is referring to the way most of us are taught French in schools. Most of the phrases we learnt were questions...and then the responses.
fenhen If you went to school in England and learned a foreign language, you would sound autistic to a native speaker. This is because we are taught to ask: what is your name? When is your birthday? What is your age? where do you live? Imagine how strange being asked that sequence of questions would be.
fenhen I just assumed that foreign languages were taught differently in European countries other than the UK. Most European students can speak a few languages to a good standard, and usually fluent English. British students specialise in one language and tend not to learn any real world phrases or mannerisms. You’re joke was shit. Based on that, I’m guessing you’re German.
@@stevehall8449 I know, he went to Oxford University. Only my personal opinion but I find it sad that an intelligent chap earns his living taking the piss out of the working class.
The French eat frogs and snails while the English dine on roast beef and succulent lamb and because the English treat the Italians with the respect they deserve, the English also get beautiful icecream.
When asked to choose a universal alarm word in 1923, the chief radio officer Mockford chose "Mayday", a phonetic for "m'aider" (to help me), because most airplanes came from France, a major airplane actor by then.
I was trying to explain to a French native speaker the concept of "you're pulling my leg" and he just didn't get it- Hence proving that the French do not have a word for Humour.
Well, they have one, and it’s humour. And the equivalent of « pulling someone’s leg » is « faire marcher quelqu’un ». But Brits like so much self-deprecating themselves that they shot a bullet in their foot with Brexit, the best British humour since the Monty Pythons ! Thanks for the free laughters!
The Brits swim in a pool, which sounds like "poule", the french word for "hen". So basically for us French people the Brits like to swim in a hen. How bizarre. 😄
@@jameswatsonatheistgamer Very interesting. Could you provide an example, beside WW2 ? Because in WW1, French had a larger army, CinC was French, victorious strategy in Balkan and on Western Front was French - And French were thankful for Allies help. But certainly you have a lot other examples of British rescuing French ? Or at least one ?
@@findleyroofing France has the best military record of Europe (According to the British historian Niall Ferguson, France has participated in 168 major European wars since 387 BC, out of which they have won 109, drawn 10 and lost 49: this makes France the most successful military power in European history.)
Why no, so little do the French work day to day that they have to use "weekend" to describe Saturday and sunday rather than just another couple of days spent smoking Gitanes and drinking Absinthe.
...and basically every other place on the planet if you've ever watched his gigs. It's still hilarious even if you're from a country he's taking the p!ss out of because in most cases what he points out is true. As a grown adult, if you can't laugh at yourself you've got bigger problems.
@@scottferguson48 its called humour, you must be an insecure SNP voter? Most of yous get offended too easily. I take the piss outa the English and they take the piss outa me, we've been doing it for centuries, and we ta6the piss outa the Irish, French, Germans, Americans and literally everyone else on earth.
During yet another meeting after a European war when, for once' the Frogs were on our side (I gather the Frog white flag/feather industry was at a standstill so they chose to tag along on the winning side) the French delegate turned to the British one and said, "Mon sewer, if I 'ad not been born French then I would wish to 'ave been born eengleesh". The Brit delegate, with appropriate stiff upper lip, replied, "Moi, aussi, mon ami. If I had not been born English then I would have wished to be born English". Q. How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris? A. No one knows. It's never been tried. Q. Why are French roads bordered on both sides by tall trees? A. So invading armies can march in the shade. Q. Why are French rifles made of rubber? A. So that when the French soldiers throw them to the ground they don't break.
John Doe : When you have the courage to write under your real name I would be absolutely delighted to respond to your ignorance. BTW. Does twice in the space of thirty years hauling their cowardly arses from the clutches of the Germans count as beating them. Just asking.
@@stevetaylor9846 Nobody writes their real name on the internet. You sound like a four year old "mY countWy betta thAn yous!". You did not participate in either of these wars yet you take all the credit for the victory of the brave British and French soldiers.
jean paul: For a start my country, UK/Britain has never lost to the French; England has. I wasn't being petulant but I was simply stating that we have come to France's aid more often than the French have come to ours. Finally, a good many people reveal their real names. End of.
the same thing in France about english people would be embarassing. In France we don't make jokes about english people, we don't live mentaly in the middle-age. We make jokes about belgians and swiss.
@@zainchandia7355 it's not hate. It's just more funny because of the language proximity. But it works in both ways. We don't make jokes about germans neither (or very exceptionnally). I guess it's because there was to much hate between us, and this caused too much damages in the past.
For a country world renowned for their soccer hooligans, shouldnt ya be a bit more . . . .humble? An army of criminals, the british call them 'the irish'! Just put them blokes on the front lines, mate! they aint worth nothin, right? Hey pommes, did you ever give the Irish their potatos back?
@@mpetersen6 since French flag is white (with recently added red and blue stripes) I don't think that they're very offensive/attacking country/nation. not sure that they'd be able to conquer Lichtenstein... 🤔
@@inconnu4961 I do love the British. Great senses of humour. Played rugby with one. Set him up with his now wife while I was pissed as a newt. The others, were the barmy army whilst they were taking the piss out of the Aussies during a test series between the poms and us Aussies at SCG. We stripped and changed uniforms in the middle of a test match. Lol. And they tought me their funny songs. Lol. Good memories.
So poor is the French language that in addition to having no word for soap, but there isn't a word for culture. Luckily they can use the English/Germanic word without any embarrassment.
Why no, so little do the French work day to day that they have to use "weekend" to describe Saturday and sunday rather than just another couple of days spent smoking Gitanes and drinking Absinthe.
@@tutnallman In the end they are still more productive than you, and it saves them from sleeping in their vomit as is common in your country. Then the French is so poor, that a large part of your English is just mispronounced French. You're welcome .
@Durian Durian what women would that be then? I'm telling you now, no one wants a Frenchman! The whole frog turning into a prince is complete bullshit. Sorry to be the one to break it to you!
Conquered by the Romans and all there Mediterranean legion mix... the Angles Saxons the Jutes then the Danes.... then of course the Norman French.... yeah you english.... most disliked people in the world until USA became a super power..
@Durian Durian The Normans were fleeing the French. You are what is left behind. A mixture of Arab and Jew. The English are much more of a pure Norman breed than the French. Only about 5pc of French people look what i would term "white". 60pc jew or arab. 35pc african.
Because their mums dropped them on their heads as babies? On purpose? Twice? How do you frighten a brit? you hold up a mirror! Why wont the British dress up for halloween? They just go as themselves! did you know that the guy who wrote 'night of the Living Dead' was inspired on his trip to England? The Brits are so ugly that they dont make love; instead they close their eyes & think of England! if you met their wives, you would understand why! Infact, british women are the reason why the French call them rosbifs! this is so much fun i could do this all day!
Change begins: Oh dear if your not laughing AT the pub landlord character but WITH him the you are most likely laughing at yourself.... And you didnt realise
@@alan-sk7ky first of all its 'you're' and secondly I know it's just a character. I remember when farage lost at the general election when Murray stood so I know he isn't a nationalist. I just posted this to wind people up, which I would like to fully congratulate myself on. As someone said further up its bait. Here fishy fishy have a nibble.
The English nobility spoke Norman French because they were largely represented by Norman French families after 1066. The peasants and regular folk spoke their own local language (some areas still spoke regional dialects, Celtic, Briton, etc) or Middle-English. It's how words such as cow (derived from Saxon) and beef (derived from French) originated- the peasants raised the cattle, but the rich ate the meat.
The only problems is France is the most successful European military country . The French where the only people who were able to fight alone during several centuries while the Brits were especially good to fight with the blood of the other people .
What are you on about.....? The French have been invaded more Than madame pompadours vag. Romans, huns, brits, germans Brits again, Germans again Brits and yanks To name but a few
@@caractacusbrittania7442 And the French have also invaded all these countries and i want to add the French were alone to invade these countries . We are not the Brit who have so often fought to the last drop of blood of their allies.
"If anyone is going to be homeless in this country it will be British people first." Amazingly accurate. If only people actually realised the danger of the millions of illegal immigrants being welcomed here.
HEAVEN is where the Police are British, the Cooks are French, the Mechanics German, the Lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
HELL is when the Police are German, the Cooks are British, the Mechanics French, the Lovers are Swiss and it’s all organised by the Italians!
Heard this years ago but I forgot it! Thanks
Never heard that before, but absolutely true.
That sounds like something al himself would come up with
love it
The British reacted to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was due to a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
You only like English cops if you're a criminal.
The first to win the Tour de France is the 7th German Panzer Division.
Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees?
So that the Nazis could march in the shade.
Durian Durian you say 1066 I say the battle of Agincourt. Because it's not the runner up that counts does it, no it's the final.
@Durian Durian Hard luck!! That was the NORMAN Invasion!! France wasn't an actual country until about 400years AFTER the fact!
Durian Durian danish you mean, as the normans were descendants of Norse settlers.
Durian Durian Well the particular Normans you are referring to were Vikings, vikings who scared the French so much they just gave them all of Normandy.
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea.
- Douglas William Jerrold (English playwright, journalist, and humorist)
Correct answer and glass of white wine for the ladies.
Funnily enough, that joke would work just as well in France.
CookedShroom judging from history I'm not slightly surprised.
Le Misanthrope famous quote from a British author "love France. Hate the French."
@Le Misanthrope lol
He does his best to hide his intelligence behind his comedy but it is so obvious that he is an extremely smart man. Not to mention funny.
I noticed that. His geography and History is unbelievable. A very smart man.
Look for the We Have Ways of Making You Talk podcast. It's him and a Historian talking about the Second World War. Really interesting. Only over 400 episodes so far.
Gotta laugh at those people who are over-reacting to Pub Landlord. He is a character created by the brilliant comedian AL Murray.
A very funny dutch friend always tells the two worst mistakes in the 20th century is undoing the Berlin wall and building a tunnel to England.
We’ll happily fill it with concrete don’t worry.
Everyone has heard of the swiss army knife with all its functions but have you heard of the French army knife, it has a corkscrew and a white flag.
😂👍
Gold 😂
@@shashankdeepak879
French soldiers covered the British evacuation at Dunkirk.
Churchill himself paid homage to the french soldiers in his memoirs.
Here’s what he wrote:
“The heroic resistance of the French army saved the British and allowed them to continue the war.”
@@maxrolland3148 sry man didnt know
@@shashankdeepak879
It’s ok.
But yeah, this jokes cease to be funny when one know that around 60,000 french soldiers died.
And that during that invasion, the germans also slaughtered 21,000 french civilians…
The SS casually used french civilians as human shields in Northern France when they were fighting against french and british soldiers.
What happened was a true tragedy.
When he started freaking out in French I lost it. 😆😂🤣
France also has a town called “Condom” too 😂 I stayed there a few years back
Is it a little come and go?
I nearly ended up there.
Dildo Newfoundland... Canada
Well at least you were safe there.
CP140405 oh yeah some Canadians speak French! Do they have a town called "Pullout Gamestrong"? 😉😂
The Brits and French shouting obscenities at eachother in arab is the the ultimate joke
cheers Guv, it was a glorious thing.
The French hate the English and that is fine . The English do not hate the French. We merely despise them - and that is what drives them mad.
We pity them
American here: I asked this English guy once about that whole English/French thing. Don sat quietly for a moment then looked at me all nasty. “They think they’re better than us!”
@@festyguy7405 they do! But then we also think the same so it works out.
@@paulcarpenter885 No it doesnt mate, because the French ARE better than you! Didnt get the memo, I take it? Dam British Post!
Al is not only funny
But very intelligent
There is an Al Murray of France ? I would like to see those two face to face :))))))
I'm froggie and he's quite right about people asking too many questions!!! They're doing my head in at times...When it does happen, I just tell them politely "Just mind your business..." Al Murray is one of the best, very, very funny! F..... hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣
Don't forget they call pencils "crayons".
Midnight on December 31st 1999. In Paris, they held a huge fireworks celebration for the new Millenium. France Surrendered :-))...
And why are the Paris Avenues lined with trees? So the German soldiers could march in the shade :-))...
A German went to France for holiday.
French border staff - Occupation?
German tourist: No. Just visiting.
:-))...
And why do the French like to eat snails? They don't like fast food :-))...
Frenchmen here. Those are brilliant 😂.
😂
In France there are 6 villages called Silly, 12 villages called Billy and 2 called Pratt.
In England, they have town called 'Bath' but no town called 'BrushTeeth'! A coincidence?
Subtle joke about the French asking too many questions...I think he is referring to the way most of us are taught French in schools. Most of the phrases we learnt were questions...and then the responses.
Que?
@@fenhen it's hard to explain.
fenhen If you went to school in England and learned a foreign language, you would sound autistic to a native speaker. This is because we are taught to ask: what is your name? When is your birthday? What is your age? where do you live? Imagine how strange being asked that sequence of questions would be.
DaGamingBoy 1) That’s not an English thing, that’s how people are generally taught languages.
2) My attempt at a joke clearly went over your head.
fenhen I just assumed that foreign languages were taught differently in European countries other than the UK. Most European students can speak a few languages to a good standard, and usually fluent English. British students specialise in one language and tend not to learn any real world phrases or mannerisms.
You’re joke was shit. Based on that, I’m guessing you’re German.
There is a huge element of truth in all his comedy.
And that's WHY it's funny.
"Many a true word is spoken in jest"
There is a huge perception of truth in all his comedy. Al Murray knows his public and their illusion.
For someone who says he dislikes the French he seems to speak their language okay.
Never said mayday in his mayday joke though. "Help"!
its a character, the pub landlord, al murray himself is an intelligent historian that speaks a few languages and loves countries like france :)
@@stevehall8449 I know, he went to Oxford University. Only my personal opinion but I find it sad that an intelligent chap earns his living taking the piss out of the working class.
@Nick Meade it's pretty much the same thing, Univerity educated tossers.
@Durian Durian you seem to know an awful lot about it, you like to wear dresses yourself?
I am french and i love going to the pee scene, what's the problem england? :)
that's nice if you like a golden shower
@@ianjones7718 Peace to you.
Ha j’ai toujours cru qu’il avait dit “piss in”..c’est vrai que ça marche aussi avec scene 🙂
peace in =)
The French have also got a town called Quimper (pronounced Camp-air) and no one thinks it's funny.... 🤣
Glorious
There has been a entente cordiale since agincourt oh dear did i say that out loud near neighbour's who really never liked each other
Entente cordiale is having soft drinks on a camping holiday!
@@smokeless7774 ha ha ha lol
A swimming pool, LOL . So funny . So much truth said in jest .
Now if He was the leader of the Labour Party i would have voted for them! 2019
He ran as the MP for the seat of South Thanet in 2015 as part of his own party "FUKP".
The French eat frogs and snails while the English dine on roast beef and succulent lamb and because the English treat the Italians with the respect they deserve, the English also get beautiful icecream.
murray for president
Im french and this is very funny
Same 😂
Would Nice be sued under Trade Descriptions Act?
Would Bath?
I live in Monaco, just down the road from Nice. I can state, categorically that yes, Nice is definitely not the correct name for it.
Wouldnt you have to have had it in order to have lost it?
Sounds just like my last relationship!! :-
When a Frenchman needs help he shouts "M'aidez". Or as us Brits say," Mayday". Sounds the same, and means the same.
Nobody says "m'aidez" in French. It's aidez-moi.
Yah. And the American tells Mea West!
@@JustinCase99999 Fair enough. But if he's in a force 8, and his mast is down, when he calls the coastguard I'll bet he shouts m'aidez. :-)
@@MrWilko58 You mean mayday. 😊
When asked to choose a universal alarm word in 1923, the chief radio officer Mockford chose "Mayday", a phonetic for "m'aider" (to help me), because most airplanes came from France, a major airplane actor by then.
He went into rapid French and the subtitles started having a stroke
"The French have lost it because they call it piscine"
Coming from a man whose language calls it POO-l
👍🏻
I was trying to explain to a French native speaker the concept of "you're pulling my leg" and he just didn't get it- Hence proving that the French do not have a word for Humour.
Well, they have one, and it’s humour. And the equivalent of « pulling someone’s leg » is « faire marcher quelqu’un ». But Brits like so much self-deprecating themselves that they shot a bullet in their foot with Brexit, the best British humour since the Monty Pythons ! Thanks for the free laughters!
Cause one guy didn’t get an English idiom every french person now has no sense of humour..?
👌🏼
The Brits swim in a pool, which sounds like "poule", the french word for "hen". So basically for us French people the Brits like to swim in a hen. How bizarre. 😄
Notre poule dans votre courte to all the french ftom us the romanians
caregory error, as you say in ontology
@@Swift-mr5zi What is "caregory"? 🤔
Sans doute parce que ce sont des poules mouillées...
Damn funny stuff, and not one bit a lie or exaggeration.
A bit exaggerated in some statements but so funny 😂
my reaction was a mix of me being offended and me laughing, this guy's great
Are you French?
I have read the londonian press on internet for years and I can say the english people are REALLY OBSESSED by us ! Much more we are are of them.
And they resent the French not paying attention to them.
Because we are curious about the world, and the French are obsessed with themselves. Nombrilisme?
Not obsessed. We just like taking the pis s out of you all. Saving you in wars and defeating you in the ones that we aren't saving you in.
@@gengis737 Of course they pay attention to us. Especially when it comes to being invaded or liberated by us. Which has happened a lot.
@@jameswatsonatheistgamer Very interesting. Could you provide an example, beside WW2 ?
Because in WW1, French had a larger army, CinC was French, victorious strategy in Balkan and on Western Front was French - And French were thankful for Allies help.
But certainly you have a lot other examples of British rescuing French ? Or at least one ?
The French word for pool is perfect
3 days into lockdown: 1:28
Le blub blub blub
Pourquoi êtes-vous si énervé?
The worlds thinnest book is titled
“French heroes”
I thought that the "Italian Book of War Heros" was the thinnest book in the World!! ;-))...
Bruh just go learn history. There are plenty french heroes. More than you can put in a book.
Charles Taylor says the only frenchman here🙄
@@findleyroofing France has the best military record of Europe (According to the British historian Niall Ferguson, France has participated in 168 major European wars since 387 BC, out of which they have won 109, drawn 10 and lost 49: this makes France the most successful military power in European history.)
@@thezanzibarbarian5729 Im pretty sure the thinnest book is "british super models'! or maybe Its 'British Men's hairlines'?
He is a genius who by the way also happens to be hilarious.
Why no, so little do the French work day to day that they have to use "weekend" to describe Saturday and sunday rather than just another couple of days spent smoking Gitanes and drinking Absinthe.
'No mate it was of paris' 😂
He's having a go at the French now!
...and basically every other place on the planet if you've ever watched his gigs. It's still hilarious even if you're from a country he's taking the p!ss out of because in most cases what he points out is true. As a grown adult, if you can't laugh at yourself you've got bigger problems.
@@xen0g3n my favourite was New Zealand
Yeah, he's saying the French are scroungers........
Oh wait...
Murray lost it. Scotland loves France + the French people. From your old friend Scotland
@@scottferguson48 its called humour, you must be an insecure SNP voter? Most of yous get offended too easily. I take the piss outa the English and they take the piss outa me, we've been doing it for centuries, and we ta6the piss outa the Irish, French, Germans, Americans and literally everyone else on earth.
Not only is there no word for soap in French there is no word for joke.
?? I am French and there is a word for both
@@ryanbrimson8238 Don't be so serious, mon Ami, just push back at them! They arent as smart as they think they are! MDR
During yet another meeting after a European war when, for once' the Frogs were on our side (I gather the Frog white flag/feather industry was at a standstill so they chose to tag along on the winning side) the French delegate turned to the British one and said, "Mon sewer, if I 'ad not been born French then I would wish to 'ave been born eengleesh". The Brit delegate, with appropriate stiff upper lip, replied, "Moi, aussi, mon ami. If I had not been born English then I would have wished to be born English".
Q. How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
A. No one knows. It's never been tried.
Q. Why are French roads bordered on both sides by tall trees?
A. So invading armies can march in the shade.
Q. Why are French rifles made of rubber?
A. So that when the French soldiers throw them to the ground they don't break.
Hilarious AND original French jokes
Funny from a country that lost so many times to France
John Doe : When you have the courage to write under your real name I would be absolutely delighted to respond to your ignorance. BTW. Does twice in the space of thirty years hauling their cowardly arses from the clutches of the Germans count as beating them. Just asking.
@@stevetaylor9846 Nobody writes their real name on the internet. You sound like a four year old "mY countWy betta thAn yous!". You did not participate in either of these wars yet you take all the credit for the victory of the brave British and French soldiers.
jean paul: For a start my country, UK/Britain has never lost to the French; England has. I wasn't being petulant but I was simply stating that we have come to France's aid more often than the French have come to ours. Finally, a good many people reveal their real names. End of.
He's lost weight!
Thats all that wonderful British cuisine!
lol this was hilarious!
🤣🤣🤣
All this crticism from non-humorous people! It's HUMOUR! People like it or do NOT.
He's so right about the question thing!!! British are more respectful and don't try to get into your own life and i'm a frog! :)
Brexit.
TOK TOK DA TOK TOK !!!!! VAK LO VAK E TOK TOK DA TOK TOK !!!!!!!!!!
Your curiously sounding like pepe lepew
The Eiffel Tower, the reason a French company now owns Meccano.
Never.thort.they.had.it.?
Funniest man on the planet 👍👍🤣🤣
On which planet, neptune? You have Ricky Gervais, but Mr. Nobhead is the funniest?
Only one French football team didn't like?
Cry laughing
69 people are French. Go figure!
It's humor!!! I'm a frog a gave a thumb up you blurp...
I mean the french never had it
Nice to end the clip with "none of them think it's funny"......
the same thing in France about english people would be embarassing.
In France we don't make jokes about english people, we don't live mentaly in the middle-age. We make jokes about belgians and swiss.
Raphaël D don’t you guys not like Germans as well or do you hate Belgians and Swiss people more?
@@zainchandia7355 it's not hate. It's just more funny because of the language proximity. But it works in both ways.
We don't make jokes about germans neither (or very exceptionnally). I guess it's because there was to much hate between us, and this caused too much damages in the past.
Raphaël D ok
@Olivia Purcel fucking stereotype.
@@camembertdalembert6323 I cant for the life of me imagine why the frech could hate the bosch? They are such sweet & lovable people!
I think you will find that the illegal immigrants all get housed in decent accomodation.
Only the British homeless stay homeless.
Yet. Your police and GOV use EU built tanks to f uck your own people up. Macro, Hitler 2.0.
B
Fancy having a Arny made up of criminals!!! Foreign legion!! New identify!!! Thanks!! Bang LM FAO
For a country world renowned for their soccer hooligans, shouldnt ya be a bit more . . . .humble? An army of criminals, the british call them 'the irish'! Just put them blokes on the front lines, mate! they aint worth nothin, right? Hey pommes, did you ever give the Irish their potatos back?
The French went downhill sharpish after they invaded that wee country to the right of them......
Luxembourg?
@@peteroz7332 Hahahahaha.....Cheating!......
@@peteroz7332
No, Grand Fenwick 🙄
@@mpetersen6 since French flag is white (with recently added red and blue stripes) I don't think that they're very offensive/attacking country/nation. not sure that they'd be able to conquer Lichtenstein... 🤔
So fckn true.?
The best oxymoron I know is "Great Britain".
But this guy is funny 😁
'Great! Britain'- The Gov
@Olivia Purcel I love the poms. Great senses of humour. Don't take things so seriously. Good luck and life to you. 😁
@@SweatBoy42 I assume you love them because you havent met any! LOL Bless your heart!
@@inconnu4961 I do love the British. Great senses of humour. Played rugby with one. Set him up with his now wife while I was pissed as a newt. The others, were the barmy army whilst they were taking the piss out of the Aussies during a test series between the poms and us Aussies at SCG. We stripped and changed uniforms in the middle of a test match. Lol. And they tought me their funny songs. Lol. Good memories.
So poor is the French language that in addition to having no word for soap, but there isn't a word for culture. Luckily they can use the English/Germanic word without any embarrassment.
So poor is the French language ? I hope you are joking ?
Why no, so little do the French work day to day that they have to use "weekend" to describe Saturday and sunday rather than just another couple of days spent smoking Gitanes and drinking Absinthe.
@@tutnallman In the end they are still more productive than you, and it saves them from sleeping in their vomit as is common in your country. Then the French is so poor, that a large part of your English is just mispronounced French. You're welcome .
C+ at best......IMO. An important opinion. 1 trick?
Lost it lol they never had it
@Durian Durian what women would that be then? I'm telling you now, no one wants a Frenchman! The whole frog turning into a prince is complete bullshit. Sorry to be the one to break it to you!
@Durian Durian Nope.
Lets give the French some credit, if it were not for them we would never know how great we English are or how odious the Scottish are.....
the scotch dont smell though......
i know i know. and i said scotch not scots just to trigger a few wee daftys ;-)
@@Tacsmoker Oh I don't know, have you ever been to Celtic Park, it stinks of piss....
Conquered by the Romans and all there Mediterranean legion mix... the Angles Saxons the Jutes then the Danes.... then of course the Norman French.... yeah you english.... most disliked people in the world until USA became a super power..
catpainblackudder01 you guffs and the French have a lot in common.....bum chums
@Durian Durian The Normans were fleeing the French. You are what is left behind. A mixture of Arab and Jew. The English are much more of a pure Norman breed than the French. Only about 5pc of French people look what i would term "white". 60pc jew or arab. 35pc african.
Why are the English so thick?
Oh go on. Tell us?
@@ChrisLee-yr7tz perfect response
jaggs off
Because their mums dropped them on their heads as babies? On purpose? Twice? How do you frighten a brit? you hold up a mirror! Why wont the British dress up for halloween? They just go as themselves! did you know that the guy who wrote 'night of the Living Dead' was inspired on his trip to England? The Brits are so ugly that they dont make love; instead they close their eyes & think of England! if you met their wives, you would understand why! Infact, british women are the reason why the French call them rosbifs! this is so much fun i could do this all day!
He's right about immigration and the indigenous Briish homeless.
This guy is why I voted boris. British are the best. He just proves it
Change Begins oh boy I’ve got some bad news for you regarding Al Murray and politics, mate
Hahaha this has to be bait right? Or a snide joke at stupid conservative voters?
@Durian Durian yeah french women are great. I like how they don't feel the need to shave their arm pits. Proper empowering. Smelly, but empowering.
Change begins: Oh dear if your not laughing AT the pub landlord character but WITH him the you are most likely laughing at yourself.... And you didnt realise
@@alan-sk7ky first of all its 'you're' and secondly I know it's just a character. I remember when farage lost at the general election when Murray stood so I know he isn't a nationalist. I just posted this to wind people up, which I would like to fully congratulate myself on. As someone said further up its bait. Here fishy fishy have a nibble.
They lost it because they are French!
The only thing they do better than losing is running!
Kustogg funny. Also most wars lost lol
@Unknown2234 Unknown so whomever beat the world champ and his long winning streak must be considered magnifique no? ;-)
For crying out loud - don’t mention the WAR!
@Kustogg And then England came along and hammered them and took their small empire and absorbed it into the greater British empire.
@@RevolutionibusOrbiumCoelestium You started it. No we didn't. Yes you did. When you invaded Poland.
I must be the only person in the world who doesn't find screaming funny, never did.
did you know that medieval england mostly spoke french?
the english lost it back then
The English nobility spoke Norman French because they were largely represented by Norman French families after 1066. The peasants and regular folk spoke their own local language (some areas still spoke regional dialects, Celtic, Briton, etc) or Middle-English. It's how words such as cow (derived from Saxon) and beef (derived from French) originated- the peasants raised the cattle, but the rich ate the meat.
'Ullo Gov...the French never had it....
The only problems is France is the most successful European military country . The French where the only people who were able to fight alone during several centuries while the Brits were especially good to fight with the blood of the other people .
What are you on about.....?
The French have been invaded more
Than madame pompadours vag.
Romans, huns, brits, germans
Brits again, Germans again
Brits and yanks
To name but a few
@@caractacusbrittania7442 And the French have also invaded all these countries and i want to add the French were alone to invade these countries . We are not the Brit who have so often fought to the last drop of blood of their allies.
And how many Aussies gave there blood, sweat & lives to turn the tide against the Nazis in WW2
@@CH3353N1NJ45 Less than the French
Niet echt grappig
In 2019, 80% of french children had 2 African parents
In 2022, the Queen of England died, and NO ONE noticed! and you ask, how did they not notice? She was always that pale!
@@inconnu4961as her coffin was attacked by 3 different Africans, I’d say yes, they noticed
nice to see the english are still sore for loosing the hundred year war
We might have lost but we were fighting and occupying large parts of France and more frogs died than English 😂
@@hoggarththewisesmeagol8362 "Êtes-vous homosexuel?" 😊
Yes, but the English got even. They let the French have France
@@mpetersen6 ever beening to France its 10 times better than england
@@mpetersen6 Except for the whole villages they bought in France. 😄
There is no word in the french language for soap!
Yes there is. It's savon.
“Savon”.
There ya go
Is it a joke?
There is NO word in the English language for 'beautiful'!
Clearly these nitwits have never heard of napoleon?!
Not impressive at all. just my opinion.
I know you won't read this Al but you seem a troubled soul. Just saying.
Dude is a role playing a pub lord thats not who he really is
this character is just awful, even as satire, just awful
If this guy had a script writer, he might just be funny, as it is he is not. Perhaps he should try performing whilst he is sober.
He did! it was even worse!
"If anyone is going to be homeless in this country it will be British people first." Amazingly accurate. If only people actually realised the danger of the millions of illegal immigrants being welcomed here.
G-D BLESS AL MURRAY & MAY HE SIT VERY CLOSE TO G-D ❤️✡️🕎🇮🇱🇺🇸🇬🇧🇬🇧🇦🇺🇨🇦🇫🇷🗼🗼🗼🇫🇷❤️♥️🙏👍🇮🇱🇮🇱🇬🇧🇦🇺🇨🇦🗼🇫🇷🔯♥️❤️🙏👍🇩🇰😀✡️🕎❤️❤️❤️🙏👍