My Biggest Fears Around Dating

Dating is scary - fear of rejection, fear of breaking up, fear of losing yourself in relationships, fear of failure, trust issues and so much more. Some people love to date, some people hate to date. I personally lean towards the latter, so much effort and energy put into a lot of people and situations I do not care about...but it's all in the name of finding love! Oh the baggage we carry the older we get, dating doesn't get any easier, but I think understanding your fears is the first step to setting yourself free of them.
- chapters -
0:00 - 3:32: Intro
3:32 - 7:00 - Derailing me from my plans
7:01 - 9:00; My Type
9:01 - 11:32: Situationships
11:33 - 15:14: Trust Issues
15:15 - 16:52: Boredom
16:53 -20:00: It Might Actually Work
- videos to watch next -
- Starting to Date Again: Getting Over the Fear of Dating Again: • Starting to Date Again...
#relationshipadvice #datingadvice #singlelife #datingtips #personalgrowth

[@GigaKnightGX]

Regarding the points you've raised, the segment "My Type", it is very common for people to be attracted to those who show less interest in them - especially women - and dismiss those who show interest - setting aside excessive interest which maybe be some sort of obsession which is, fair enough - , Usually "avoidant, emotionally unavailable men/women" are people who view themselves as having other options and so he/she feels no need to invest in the relationship further than a given point. this is also what makes them attractive in the first place the fact that they may seem or actually are someone who is viewed as having options as this becomes part of their allure and their disinterest in itself becomes a challenge that attracts partners to try and win them over, however for these people when the relationship becomes a hassle in any way he/she is off to other - better in his view - prospects.
In the part "boredom" you refer to the same issue, in which the relationship becomes about this challenge or chase of some sort - it's like it needs to get so bad so that you can experience the hit/euphoria of the good part, like some sort of drug- rather than a steady stable environment - a safe space even - sometimes we are addicted to what we know and would turn a relationship into this very same thing for us to feel normal as this becomes the norm. This is totally unfair to the other person as it would only be that the "bored person" is projecting his own trauma and insecurities onto the relationship.
Last part is partly procrastination/self preservation and sadly it is a part of human relations, that there's a chance that you'd be exposed to trauma to some degree and that makes us scared. Also the fact that we have to face ourselves to the reality of what we really want. do we really want this ? - whatever "this" may be- or the reality that we actually enjoy the previous status quo. The point you make regarding enjoying being single is also very valid but - I think- it will fade as we get older and find that any prospects of sharing our lives with someone has gone by and the people around us have all moved on to form their own private lives, only to be left with groups of bitter people who only bring more negativity in our lives.
lastly I personally would say no one gets it right and life is tough....so lets hope we all find what we are looking for and know what we are really looking for...

[@chicman77]

Angel; you are a KEEPER!

[@agnosticgamer3122]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a guy who's about to turn 38, haven't dated in 5 years and have been working on sorting myself out. Some wounds are difficult to heal. I'm new to your videos so I don't know much about you but based on what you've said in this video I'm wondering if you have some validation issues? I had an ex who cheated on me and that really messed me up. We had known each other most of our lives and years after breaking up it finally dawned on me as to why the cheating likely occurred (she always gave the old "I don't know why" excuse). She was looking for validation in men because she didn't get enough of it from her father. This became evident as I remembered she told me something hurtful her father had once said that had stuck with her and done some damage.

[@madelinekateh]

Thank you for this! I don't think I have validation issues, but I get what you're saying about your ex the pyschology of it makes sense!

The right person should propel you faster towards your goals, not take you away from them! Having been through divorce I will say, it sucks in the short term but, you get over it. No risk it, no biscuit.

[@axl1002]

At your point of view is very hard to see the whole picture. You are not choosing avoidant men, but the men you choose believe they have better options than you and you probably are their side chick or placeholder for something better.
Edit: "The Perfect Love" is not love, but a fantasy that narcissists and borderlines provide and seek, stay away at all costs.

[@NerdlySquared]

Well if she rejects men who connect more readily and doesn’t find that specific trait attractive in favour of other traits common to more avoidant or less committal men. That is in fact choosing them.

[@axl1002]

@@NerdlySquared The thing is that with every next relationship we lose our ability to trust and love is about trust. People that are "committing" are desperate and nobody wants desperate people in his life.

[@NerdlySquared]

⁠@@axl1002Considering any pair bonding, or traits related to it as just blanket “desperation” is pretty much the formula for choosing exclusively avoidant partners, who are playing the field. Which is a sure fire way to accumulate a lack of trust, as those interactions continually implode.
Something she wants to avoid, not continue.

[@mariuszkarczewski1939]

" you're done with hookup, done with situationships , done with emotionally unstable guys". I have heard 50% of this movie and I have 3 red flags already to don't give u any chance in serious relationship. You are broken.