THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

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  • čas přidán 14. 09. 2020
  • Case ########-15 An inventory of what comes after.  Audio recorded by the Archivist, in situ.
    Content warnings: - Body horror (inc animals) - Description of human remains - Self-mutilation; - Futility / Inconsequence - Environmental disaster / Eco-horror - Pollution - Water insecurity - Existential & Theological dread - Unpleasant SFX - insects, squelching, sirens.
    Thanks to this week's Patrons: Alaina Royse, Shane Kelly, Grackles, anonymous sky, Lainy J, JZimD, OatmealAddiction, Deidre Pitts, Andreas Evans, Disaster, Lovro, Saadia, Megan Linger, Billie, Rowen De Lacy, Gil, Zetallis, Woodspurge, Redd, Erin Sellars, James Curry, TJ Hoffer, KP Wilson, Zoe Schroeder, charliewarl, Shannon McHugh, Taylor Ashmore, lu, Mitch Pavao, sageybug, Josephine Hoare, Azaria Serpens, Bonnie Phillips, DwarvenBeardSpores, Bex quollish, Jax Wells, Twisted Sight, Elizabeth LeGant, Agnieszka Szołucha, Benn Ends, Libby Broome, Elyse Walker, Faith Gillispie, Kathleen Parham, PansyThoughts, e.herself, Tartha Jedril.
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    Edited this week by: Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall
    Written by Jonathan Sims
    Directed by Alexander J Newall
    Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
    Performances: "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall;"The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims;
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Komentáře • 242

  • @daniellecollins8257
    @daniellecollins8257 Před 2 lety +581

    Umbrella: *existing*
    Jon: and I took that personally

  • @Ceaseless_Watcher
    @Ceaseless_Watcher Před 9 měsíci +72

    CEASELESS WATCHER, TURN YOUR GAZE UPON THIS WRETCHED UMBRELLA.

  • @louagusti7320
    @louagusti7320 Před 2 lety +529

    umbrella:
    leah: look at this FAIL apparatus with its CRINGE fabric and metal

    • @CytheriaXylia
      @CytheriaXylia Před 7 měsíci +24

      You are like the only person I've seen that acknowledges that this is Leah berating the umbrella and not Jon. I don't know why it irks me so much. It just seems like people don't understand that Jon is reading statements, that these are other people's thoughts.

    • @Smaugenheimochowski
      @Smaugenheimochowski Před 4 měsíci +4

      ​@@CytheriaXylia I feel the same. I guess just seeing other people completely misunderstanding the point of Jon's speaking and accidentally taking it as a part of his character and personality is what makes it troublesome. Misinterpretations and misunderstandings in general are pretty displeasing.

  • @EldritchMcPie
    @EldritchMcPie Před 3 lety +795

    Bullying the Umbrella has Nightvale energy.

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 Před rokem +31

      so true i can totally hear a nightvale character saying that part XD

    • @cain3895
      @cain3895 Před rokem +41

      And now the community calendar. Monday is "Bully the umbrella" day. Why are we doing this? Well, what does it think its doing? Protecting people from rain? What rain? Rain isn't real, silly. Show me rain. Who let you in here?

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 Před rokem +22

      @@cain3895 that's so good, it's totally something cecil would say lol

    • @dawnwayfinder
      @dawnwayfinder Před 9 měsíci +4

      I've been away too long; we're not trying to destroy the moon anymore?
      Back in my day...

    • @Matheus-ql7mn
      @Matheus-ql7mn Před 7 měsíci +6

      ​@@cain3895 Sorry, Monday is now canceled, we need to reschedule it 😅

  • @vincentsinclair7749
    @vincentsinclair7749 Před 3 lety +1082

    Welcome to Mag 175: Epoch, also known as "Jon bullies a poor umbrella for simply existing"

    • @dull_demon4717
      @dull_demon4717 Před rokem +17

      ah, so i've finally reached the umbrella episode

  • @atomykebonpyre
    @atomykebonpyre Před 3 lety +727

    Hearing Jon berate that poor umbrella for simply existing gives me violently mixed emotions.

  • @racoon_in_ankhmorpork
    @racoon_in_ankhmorpork Před rokem +237

    I love how 90% of the comments here are about Jon berating that poor umbrella.

  • @vee802
    @vee802 Před 3 lety +987

    headcanon, Melanie can't be seen by the eye because she cut her eyes out. And Georgie can't be seen by the eye because she's incapable of feeling fear.

    • @WeAreAirborne
      @WeAreAirborne Před 3 lety +118

      Counterpoint: they took refuge in Helen's hallways when the world ended. Melanie knew Helen from when she "helped" with Jared Hopworth, and they might know that the Eye can't see them in there. that's my pet theory anyway

    • @f_mva
      @f_mva Před 3 lety +9

      ohhh that makes a lot of sense

    • @germanerd6148
      @germanerd6148 Před 3 lety +55

      I think they are hiding in Hill Top Road since the house seems to be a gateway in another dimension which might be not affected by the apocalypse.

    • @riftaquarius3437
      @riftaquarius3437 Před 3 lety +11

      All very interesting guesses.

    • @Tongue_Eating_Louse
      @Tongue_Eating_Louse Před 3 lety +8

      I think you mean theory, not headcanon

  • @merryscooter519
    @merryscooter519 Před 2 lety +274

    JON JUST . . DEGRADING THIS UMBRELLA IS SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭

  • @sophiemcswag
    @sophiemcswag Před 3 lety +430

    umbrella? stupid
    jon? archivist
    world? ending
    hotel? trivago

    • @anomaliecosmos
      @anomaliecosmos Před rokem +12

      I am forcibly removed from the Anthropocene Age

  • @torcaace
    @torcaace Před rokem +70

    "yo dawg, we heard you like apocalypses, so we put an apocalypse inside an apocalypse"

  • @casswohlgemuth194
    @casswohlgemuth194 Před rokem +77

    Umbrella: * existing *
    Jon: laughable. It doesn't *r a i n*

  • @Companion92
    @Companion92 Před 3 lety +703

    I have the feeling, that Jon is projecting on that umbrella

    • @chimethebells3556
      @chimethebells3556 Před 3 lety +40

      It feels very in character… also… mood

    • @lel1160
      @lel1160 Před 2 lety +20

      I saw this comment before I started the episode and was so confused to see what the fuck you were referring to 😂

  • @mimkyodar
    @mimkyodar Před 3 lety +239

    First time I listened to this, I was like "hmmm, this doesn't sound very spirally... or hunt..."
    "Is this... End again?"
    ... No... Noooo....IS THIS EXTINCTION???
    Did not expect we'd get an Extinction statement.

    • @BeautifulEarthJa
      @BeautifulEarthJa Před rokem

      Pollution, climate change....extinction

    • @bleddynwolf8463
      @bleddynwolf8463 Před rokem +28

      they were all so scared of it arriving, when it was already here

  • @darthchungusTHEOG
    @darthchungusTHEOG Před rokem +67

    “Beyond…reality?” *Jon looking straight at the listeners through their devices*

  • @laughingooooo
    @laughingooooo Před 2 lety +152

    me (an empath) can sense that jon doesnt like that umbrella very much

    • @no-namemcnameless7188
      @no-namemcnameless7188 Před 2 měsíci +3

      me (an empath) indignantly jumping to the umbrella’s defense

    • @laughingooooo
      @laughingooooo Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@no-namemcnameless7188 OMG IM REWATCHING THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES TOO HI THERE

  • @Bloomy_forest
    @Bloomy_forest Před 3 lety +497

    Ah, this is the episode where he mocks an umbrella.
    Poor umbrella, it hasn't done anything.

    • @Bloomy_forest
      @Bloomy_forest Před 3 lety +37

      I feel like I'm becoming that person that posts mini spoilers for the episode out of context and I don't know what I feel about that.

    • @bucketlist3727
      @bucketlist3727 Před 3 lety +4

      You should feel great about (as long as you don't spoil anything important of course).

    • @Bloomy_forest
      @Bloomy_forest Před 3 lety +8

      @@bucketlist3727 Yeah, maybe 😅
      (I'd never spoil anything important, I remember when I first started listening and got spoiled, it ruined that twis)

    • @f_mva
      @f_mva Před 3 lety +8

      despicable umbrella! i spit upon you, ptoo!

    • @archsteel7
      @archsteel7 Před 3 lety +22

      "Poor umbrella, it hasn't done anything."
      That's the point. Lazy umbrella. *Stupid* umbrella.

  • @philippak7726
    @philippak7726 Před 2 lety +230

    OMG Martin trying to get Jon to join him on the couch. I can just picture the puppydog expression

    • @ethanstine426
      @ethanstine426 Před rokem +19

      To be fair the couch is probably filthy and home to gasoline cockroaches.

    • @philippak7726
      @philippak7726 Před rokem +19

      @@ethanstine426 so, your standard dorm-room couch? sounds about right.

  • @harryballantyne398
    @harryballantyne398 Před 2 lety +83

    WallE must be an avatar of the extinction

  • @elvingearmasterirma7241
    @elvingearmasterirma7241 Před 2 lety +269

    Me, as Jon reads the umbrella to filth: Jon, are you okay? Do you need a therapist?

    • @quantumblauthor7300
      @quantumblauthor7300 Před rokem +16

      All therapists are dead or dying forever, this is as close to therapy as it gets

    • @94sweetmochi
      @94sweetmochi Před 11 měsíci +9

      He needed that a long time ago. I dont think he is gonna get it.

  • @LucasDimoveo
    @LucasDimoveo Před 3 lety +245

    When I heard the word "item" I half expected an SCP item reading

  • @idkdraws4681
    @idkdraws4681 Před 3 lety +240

    Martian saying swimmingly at the end gives me life
    19:25

    • @renatamanzano6335
      @renatamanzano6335 Před 3 lety +24

      HAHAHA, that little squeal of sarcasm gave me 🌌serotonin🌌

    • @macabrecitrus2127
      @macabrecitrus2127 Před 2 lety +17

      Yeah that was cute...
      Also I'm sorry but "Martian" lmao funny typo

    • @fruitygarlic3601
      @fruitygarlic3601 Před 2 lety +24

      Martian and Johnathan Suns

    • @LexariusVailen
      @LexariusVailen Před rokem +2

      BRUH SAME I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT LIKE THIS
      Listening at work and couldn't help a happy shiver like a gay ass 🙄

  • @f_mva
    @f_mva Před 3 lety +430

    read the content warnings and tag yourself, im "existential and theological dread"

  • @nakama-chan6171
    @nakama-chan6171 Před rokem +64

    umbrella: literally just exists
    jon: *so you have chosen... death.*

  • @innitheotaku3883
    @innitheotaku3883 Před 2 lety +64

    Y’all stop bullying Jon for the umbrella he’s literally not in control of what he says

  • @DJSilly9
    @DJSilly9 Před rokem +45

    i know martin doesnt like the statements but GOD i wish he was around to watch jon berate an umbrella i have to see that

  • @effeilensucre
    @effeilensucre Před 3 lety +228

    Me everytime a new episode comes: Ok so this one power is def the worst one, oh god
    Me everytime the next episode arrives: uh oh

  • @trobertson3951
    @trobertson3951 Před 3 lety +80

    the fact that martin didn’t pull jon onto the couch with him is a crime

  • @midnights2631
    @midnights2631 Před rokem +14

    Umbrella: *Just sitting there.*
    Jon: Stupid umbrella, why are you here?

  • @dorkindustries7145
    @dorkindustries7145 Před 3 lety +69

    All I'm imagining is a tiny screaming frog except it's a book

  • @zeynep0910
    @zeynep0910 Před 2 lety +73

    extinction statements always get me and this one was sooo good omg i loved the format of listing items and flora/fauna
    also that beast reciting old commercials when talking to itself was just a brilliant detail, i love the way jonny’s mind works

  • @CapitanaGabs
    @CapitanaGabs Před 3 lety +81

    IDKW but all the existential dread in this one hit me so close...
    Surely The Extinction would love me as a meal.

  • @ButterflyColors
    @ButterflyColors Před rokem +25

    All the comments are talking about an umbrella, I’m curious to hear what he says and if it holds up to my expectations
    Edit: well damn jon

  • @PANCAKEMINEZZ
    @PANCAKEMINEZZ Před 3 lety +134

    This honestly reads out like an SCP file.

    • @biancamlf288
      @biancamlf288 Před rokem +4

      I fact-checked a comment a while ago from an earlier episode that mentioned a TMA reference.
      And there is a file where a "Gerard Hopworth" is mentioned (SCP-4716). I also like to think it wasn't a typo, instead Gerry getting caught in something very messy.

    • @nothingunderthemask
      @nothingunderthemask Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@biancamlf288I read the file and it sounds like a Flesh-based Lietner

  • @yumiendercat3685
    @yumiendercat3685 Před 3 lety +30

    Martin sounded like some kind of dolphin with that ‘swimmingly’

  • @havesomecarrots
    @havesomecarrots Před 3 lety +33

    that umbrella got read to filth lmao

  • @alphalilly8207
    @alphalilly8207 Před 2 lety +26

    I just thought of something.
    Jon dosnt say "Statement Ends" anymore. And I dont think he even refres to himself by name. (Only martin does)
    Another thing, he seems like he's becoming more distant. Detached even. Always In his head somehow (which makes sense cuz he can know everything that is happening all at once)
    This is gonna be intresting :3c

  • @waffleartz8581
    @waffleartz8581 Před rokem +26

    the description of the seagull trapped in the net actually got me and it took 175 eps to shake me up, dang.

  • @jadethegemstone9545
    @jadethegemstone9545 Před 3 lety +96

    Ya know, I really love how they incorporate the statements into the on going story. Like a lot of the time I've seen other just try to shoehorn these things in, or just get rid of them all together, or keep them even if they don't make sense. But here, they incorporate it perfectly! And I absolutely love it!

    • @The-Busy-Beeeee
      @The-Busy-Beeeee Před 9 měsíci +4

      That's because everything down to the minute detail was planned from the start

  • @anshulghatge2147
    @anshulghatge2147 Před 3 lety +73

    Ah yes, the SCP episode

  • @malaizze
    @malaizze Před 3 lety +41

    My man reading SCP articles call this a CK class scenario

  • @handinlovablehand
    @handinlovablehand Před 3 lety +42

    you know what? thats a cool as fuck bird.

  • @JustAButterfly98
    @JustAButterfly98 Před 2 lety +20

    WALL-E would love this place! 🤖🌱🌎🗑💚

  • @tacoterrorizer1862
    @tacoterrorizer1862 Před 3 lety +92

    I can't wait for the Hunt episode

  • @rory1336
    @rory1336 Před 10 měsíci +10

    As a field biologist and climate scientist in spirit: 1: the not-bird thing is awesome and I welcome it. 2. Everything Jon says about how bad it is in the end is right, if anything underestimating it. 3. Even if both climate change and nuclear war hits us, humanity would likely still survive it would just be another one of many "end of life as we know it" scenarious that happen more and more to countless people every day as the temperture rises higher and the pressure rarchets tighter.
    On another note, this doesn't make me scared, just sad.

  • @macabrecitrus2127
    @macabrecitrus2127 Před 2 lety +34

    Yay, ecological grief ! I almost shed a tear ! Almost

  • @zag1844
    @zag1844 Před rokem +8

    God Jon bullying the umbrella for just being there is so funny.

  • @fluffsnake
    @fluffsnake Před 3 lety +92

    [EXT. A DOMAIN OF THE EXTINCTION]
    [TAPE CLICKS ON.]
    [THERE’S A LOW, MUSICAL TONE IN THE BACKGROUND. THE CONSTANT MOVEMENT OF WHAT SOUNDS LIKE METAL OR METAL SCRAPS, OVERLAIN WITH THE BUZZING OF NIGHT INSECTS.]
    [ALSO IN THE BACKGROUND: A DISTANT AIR RAID SIREN. MULTIPLE, ACTUALLY, OVERLAPPING ONLY AT THE EDGES, EACH SETTING OFF A HIGHER PITCH AS THE PREVIOUS ONE ENDS.]
    [A QUICK STATIC IN, AND:]
    ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
    Item: A stubborn lamp.
    Approximately a foot and a half long, stand made of discoloured brass with a crude fleur-de-lis pattern and slightly melted at the base.
    Shade constructed from satin, original colour impossible to discern due to assorted stains, likely blood, oil, and paraffin wax.
    The bulb is imprinted with the words “Long Life” despite appearing to contain a standard tungsten filament. There is a long, thin crack that runs the length of the bulb, and it is remarkably easy to cut yourself on the thin glass.
    With the vacuum compromised, it should be impossible for the light to turn on. The power cable is severed about three inches from the base of the stand and writhes like a beheaded snake.
    There is nothing in this place to power it.
    Despite all of this, a thin and sickly glow can be seen from underneath the lampshade, an irregular, pulsing light that casts rotten shadows on the piles of detritus and clusters of ash and bone that surround it.
    Where its sputtering illumination falls, the color drains from everything, leaving nothing but a faded grey. It cannot survive, but still it clings to its existence, destroying everything around it.
    It smells like death.
    [ANOTHER LIGHT CLATTERING OF METAL FROM THE PILE - IS SOMEONE LOOKING AROUND?]
    Leah’s fingers are worn and dry, their color painfully faded, save for a streak of scarlet that drip-drops from her cut fingers as she furiously scribbles her findings into the notebook. The pages tear with the frenzy of her writing as she desperately tries to keep her thoughts alive.
    [MORE CLATTERING.]
    Fauna: A mouldering seagull.
    Larger than any related specimen to be found before the Anthropocene age, this bird has been rendered flightless by the tightly woven plastic netting that winds around and around its torso, digging into the skin beneath the feathers and bulging over the strange lumps and tumors that cover it.
    Its feathers have turned an oily black, and its vestigial eyes are pale and sightless, relying instead on the sounds its prey makes as they traverse the noisy junkpiles of discarded landscape.
    Its beak has become hard and its edges are serrated, allowing it to tear apart the tin cans and hard plastics that shield its food with ease.
    Its legs are long and many-jointed, allowing it to move across the uneven ground, and its throat is blocked with concrete, preventing it from crying and letting it move among the ruins in complete silence.
    It nests in the rusted-out hollows of fleeing cars, constructing intricate shelters for its young out of corpse-hair and wiring. Its eggs are rusty, covered in slime, and its chicks are born with plastic rings around their necks.
    They smell like ammonia and salt, and their name is meaningless, as there is no longer such a thing as the sea.
    [CLATTER.]
    Leah hides behind a cracked vending machine, waiting for the thing to pass. She knows it can hear the rapid scratch of her broken pencil, but it is all she can do to get it down, get it all down on paper - another futile warning of a future that is already here.
    Item: A history book.
    Hardback. Eight-point-five by eleven inches and approximately an inch and a half thick, although the number of pages is impossible to discern.
    Its dust jacket has long since been lost, and what remains is wrinkled maroon cloth over soggy book-board.
    The faded letters of a partial title can be seen embossed into the spine. The words A Brief History of - can be made out clearly, but the rest has been burned away.
    The spine is cracked and broken, but the volume itself cannot be opened. The book has clearly been submerged into some sort of fat or binding agent, and the paper within it has fused together into a single, indistinguishable lump of pulp.
    The wet mass within it retains sufficient moisture that if the covers are pressed upon, a thin rivulet of clear liquid will run like tears down the book’s cover.
    If you do this, the book will scream.
    [IT IS AT THIS POINT YOU NOTICE THE CACOPHONY IN THE BACKGROUND: A STRANGE HISSING, THE WRETCHED CRIES OF THEIR MODERN SEAGULL, AND ANOTHER, MORE INDISTINGUISHABLE SOUND. PERHAPS IT IS THE BOOK.]
    It is a stupid thing, a long-dead trinket that was of no use to anyone even when it puffed itself up with the factuous intellectual dribblings of those who believed the past was any defense against the future, bloated as it was with the hagiographies of war criminals and smugly grinning murderers.
    Now it serves as a suffering reminder of everything that has been lost - which is to say, nothing of value.
    Leah hates the book. She cannot shake the feeling that once, long ago, she read it, seeing within its pages the stark importance of taking action, of trying to change the world for the better and avoiding the dead, nightmare future that kept her awake at night.
    But it was doomed from the start, and those who salivated at the thought of a place in history had secured nothing but its end.
    [MORE CRUMBLING, MORE SQUEAKING.]
    Item: A laughable umbrella.
    Look at it. What does it think it’s doing here? Lying there, broken, skeletal. There hasn’t been rain in fifty years. The soil is cracked and parched. Any vegetation that claws its agonized way up out of it maggot-white and dry as dust.
    The only moisture is from the wet rot of the junkpiles that stretch thirty feet above the ground in all directions, spilling out into the sandy, sloping basin that was once a sea bed.
    Stupid umbrella. Does it think there is a monsoon coming? Does it even remember what a cloud of water vapor looks like?
    The clouds that pass now are oily and stink of sulfur, waiting for you to stop paying attention before they climb down your throat and settle in your lungs.
    Perhaps this idiot apparatus thinks it can protect from the relentless heat of the sun, but its fabric is torn and ruined, hanging from the snapped metal limbs, desperate for a breeze to stir it from its - complete stillness.
    Take a moment to sneer at this corpse of an umbrella, and wish for a moment you had water enough within you to spit on it.
    Leah can barely tell what she’s writing anymore. The catalog of horrors she’s compiling, this report on everything for nobody, but what else is she to do? What else can even come close to quelling the fear that suffuses her existence?
    Fauna: The thing that lives.
    Something lives in the Anthropocene age. Not a twisted reflection of the world, not a parasite or a scavenger or a cockroach, but a native.
    Something born in the sloping shells of sagging concrete towers, that tastes the tang of rusted iron in the air and knows that it is home.
    Something that does not know or care what a human is, any more than mankind thought of the creatures that once lived in the shells they found on the beach.
    It moves through the stacks of garbage like a beetle through filth, and its smile is all-too familiar, though its eyes are dark and empty.
    It cannot be seen in its entirety, for it keeps itself covered, but its long, unfurling tongue may be seen emerging, pink and bristling with long, hairlike taste buds, hunting for something old enough to eat.
    It whispers to itself in the dark, and sounds like old snippets of toothpaste commercials and adverts to join the army.
    [A STRANGE, LOW MOANING SOUND - BUT LAYERED AS IF THROUGH A FILTER, AS IF THROUGH ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC MICROPHONES THAT LAYER YOUR VOICE UNTIL YOUR VOICE SOUNDS ALIEN AND YOU’RE NOT QUITE SURE HOW MANY OF YOU THERE WERE TO START WITH.]
    It is hard to tell if there is more than one, but either there are several of them of different sizes, or there is just the one, and it is getting bigger.
    It is our replacement, and it is welcome to the world.
    Even if Leah had known, if she had had time to warn them, who would have believed her? Who would not have laughed her out of her life if she described the horrors that were to come in their true and vivid detail?
    [ANOTHER MULTIPHONIC GROAN. IS IT GETTING CLOSER?]
    But there is no one left to warn, though that does not slow her hand even a moment. She ignores the burning pain in her forearm, where the thing’s rough tongue has torn a section of her skin clean off.
    [MORE GROANS, ONE AFTER THE OTHER. IS THERE MORE THAN ONE? ARE THEY CALLING OUT TO EACH OTHER?]
    Item: A forgotten bone.
    …Whose is this? Pale white and stained with thick black tar.
    A human bone, that much is clear; too big to be a child’s, at least. Can a bone seem familiar? The shape of it echoing through your mind, like a face seen only in dreams?
    It may be followed up to a ribcage, still sticky in places with soapy cadaver fat, and closing around a crumpled beer can where the heart should be.
    There’s a skull as well, yellowing in the thick dust of the open air.
    Strange. Everything here is either bone-dry from relentless heat, or damp through from decomposition and stagnant decay. Lifeless yet decaying. The world we have left behind.
    Leah considers the bones for some time.
    Does she know them? Are they hers? If she had been quicker, more forceful in her warnings, might they still be alive?
    Her pencil is broken, but her notes, her warnings from this new world are far from complete.
    She snaps off another rib and continues writing.
    [STATIC INCREASING.]
    [A SOFT SIGH FROM THE ARCHIVIST.]
    ARCHIVIST
    Right.
    [TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

    • @fluffsnake
      @fluffsnake Před 3 lety +27

      [EXT. A DOMAIN OF THE EXTINCTION]
      [TAPE CLICKS ON.]
      [CRUNCHING OF FOOTSTEPS, WITH THE OCCASIONAL CLATTER OF GLASS OR METAL FROM THE JUNKPILES.]
      MARTIN
      You know what? I am sitting down.
      ARCHIVIST
      Are… you sure? That thing is… that’s not in great shape.
      MARTIN
      (don’t care! nothing matters!) Neither am I. I have been on my feet for a literally uncountable amount of time.
      [A STEP, SOME GROANING, THE JANGLE OF BAGS, AND CREAKING OF WHAT IS PRESUMABLY A COUCH AS MARTIN SITS.]
      ARCHIVIST
      How is it?
      MARTIN
      Great! (creak from the couch) It’s great. Lovely couch.
      ARCHIVIST
      Right. Well, rest up, I suppose!
      MARTIN
      It’s two-seater!
      ARCHIVIST
      (you are not getting me on that thing) Yes it is!
      [BRIEF PAUSE, IN WHICH THERE IS A SLIGHT AMUSED EXHALE AND ANOTHER CREAK OF THE COUCH.]
      ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)
      Hard pass, thank you.
      [AN EXHALE, AND SHIFT FROM MARTIN, WITH SOME SLOSHING, FOLLOWED BY A LOVELY LITTLE MOMENT OF SILENCE BUT FOR THE GULL SOUNDS AND SIRENS IN THE FAR BACKGROUND.]
      MARTIN
      What’s it like?
      ARCHIVIST
      What?
      MARTIN
      This place’s - (inhale) its statement.
      ARCHIVIST
      Not too surprising. It’s a domain designed to eke fear out of those afraid of a world - (inhale) - destroyed by human hands. It, uh - (exhale) It dwells on it.
      [AN UNDERSTANDING HM FROM MARTIN.]
      [ANOTHER BRIEF MOMENT OF SILENCE, THEN:]
      MARTIN
      (creak as he shifts) So it was real then, the Extinction?
      ARCHIVIST
      Of course it was real - A-At least in the sense that - it was a thing people feared.
      Whether it was strong enough in its own right to be considered at a level with Smirke’s Fourteen, or - whether it was on its way to getting there, I - maybe. This sort of thing is always muddy.
      MARTIN
      So Peter was lying.
      [THE ARCHIVIST LETS OUT HIS “IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE” SIGH.]
      ARCHIVIST
      To a degree. But - mostly he was just like anyone else who tried to take the scope of human terror and - (small inhale) package it neatly into little theories. All this talk of Emergence and - birthing a new power - it’s just people being scared.
      [CREAK AS MARTIN SHIFTS.]
      MARTIN
      What, so no one had any idea?
      ARCHIVIST
      Martin, I have the whole scope of human knowledge available to me, and - (small inhale, sharp exhale) I’d struggle to give you a simple answer to most of this stuff.
      And even if I am omniscient, I’m starting to realize that… doesn’t mean objective.
      [CREAK. MARTIN HMS.]
      MARTIN
      (sigh) I guess it’s hard not to bring your own baggage to this sort of thing.
      ARCHIVIST
      I don’t know if it could even exist without the baggage. You want to talk about psychological projection, try viewing the world through the lense of the being that is, by its very nature, a reflection of your own obsessions and fears.
      MARTIN
      (sigh) Yeah, alright. I get it.
      But what about the - real world, were they right?
      ARCHIVIST
      I - I’m not sure I follow.
      MARTIN
      M- Right, if none of this had happened, if the world had just - carried on? (creak) What would have happened? Was - Was all that fear justified?
      ARCHIVIST
      (exhale, moving closer) I can’t know the future, Martin, not even a hypothetical one.
      MARTIN
      But - you know what was going on, what was happening. O-Out of everyone, you’re the best place - (squeak) You, you, you’ve got the info to make a pretty damn educated guess!
      [BRIEF PAUSE.]
      ARCHIVIST
      I, I don’t know what you want me to say, Martin. Yes, it was bad, worse than most people thought, and things were only going to deteriorate. But was the end of humanity actually imminent? I - probably not?
      But we were well on the way, and - it would have been the end of an awful lot of things.
      [LARGE CREAK.]
      MARTIN
      So you don’t think it would have been the end of the world?
      [THERE’S A BIT OF A LAUGH TO THE END OF HIS SENTENCE.]
      ARCHIVIST
      The end of the world. Now there’s a concept. Everything ends, I suppose. (movement) Even this place. Can’t last forever. Eventually… it will die as well.
      [MOVEMENT.]
      MARTIN
      You’re starting to sound like Simon.
      ARCHIVIST
      No. He was always looking towards the infinite, but I’m not sure there is such a thing. If I try, I can - (slight static) - see the edges of reality, but - I can’t hold its full scope in my mind.
      [STATIC FADES OUT.]
      MARTIN
      And beyond it?
      ARCHIVIST
      Beyond what? Reality?
      MARTIN
      Yeah.
      ARCHIVIST
      I don’t know. Maybe nothing.
      [BEAT.]
      [THEN MARTIN CREAKS THE COUCH AGAIN.]
      MARTIN
      John.
      ARCHIVIST
      What?
      MARTIN
      D’you know if - like - gods, religion, the afterlife, all that stuff. Do you know if any of that was real?
      ARCHIVIST
      (exhale, a bit amused) Really rolling out the big questions today.
      MARTIN
      Sorry, it’s just - this place just brings it out in me, I guess.
      [SLIGHT STATIC KICKS IN AGAIN.]
      ARCHIVIST
      If there is a god, or gods, or an existence beyond this world, the Eye can’t see it. It sees the fear of it, but - nothing of its truth.
      [STATIC FADES.]
      MARTIN
      …So… is that a no?…
      ARCHIVIST
      It’s an ‘I don’t know,’ although - (heavy inhale) People’s faith - it hasn’t saved them. Not here.
      MARTIN
      (soft) True.
      ARCHIVIST
      Why do you ask? Didn’t think you were at all religious.
      [SQUEAK.]
      MARTIN
      Oh, I’m not. Mum was, but - (squeak) I, I don’t know. With everything going on, it - (exhale) certainly feels less far-fetched. Besides, at this point, I’d take any help we can get.
      ARCHIVIST
      I don’t know how kindly any god would look upon what we’ve done.
      [PAUSE.]
      MARTIN
      Thanks for that.
      ARCHIVIST
      Sorry.
      [A SHIFT AND A CREAK.]
      MARTIN
      Let’s get out of here. This place is making me a bit too… existential.
      [HE MOVES TO GET UP, HIS CLOTHING RUSTLING AND THE BAGS SQUEAKING AND JANGLING.]
      ARCHIVIST
      Wait.
      [MARTIN STOPS.]
      MARTIN
      What?
      ARCHIVIST
      (sigh) Where we’re going, the, uh… (finds it) The next domain, I’ve been meaning to tell you, but it’s - well.
      MARTIN
      Spit it out, John.
      ARCHIVIST
      Basira and Daisy. We’re close.
      MARTIN
      Wait, what? Wait, really?! (sudden energy) B- Th-that’s brilliant; what are we waiting for; let’s go!
      ARCHIVIST
      I - uh - yeah, it’s - it’s not going to be easy; things aren’t… good.
      MARTIN
      (fast, high-pitched - he’s going to take the mick but he’s excited) Oh my goodness, really? And here was me thinking the apocalypse was going oh, so swimmingly!
      ARCHIVIST
      (overlapping) Yes, alright, I just meant -
      MARTIN
      (cutting him off) I, I know what you meant! I can still be keen to see our friends!
      [HE IS DEFINITELY GRINNING EAR TO EAR NOW; WE CAN HEAR IT IN THE LAUGHTER IN HIS SENTENCE.]
      ARCHIVIST
      True.
      MARTIN
      Besides, we can help them now.
      [THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS; THEY BOTH START GETTING BACK ON THE ROAD.]
      ARCHIVIST
      Yeah. (pause) Yeah.
      [THEIR FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH AS THEY WALK.]
      [TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

    • @islaridland
      @islaridland Před 3 lety +3

      @@fluffsnake thankssss

    • @thistleywistley681
      @thistleywistley681 Před 3 lety +1

      @@fluffsnake thank youuuu

  • @whozeewhatsit5527
    @whozeewhatsit5527 Před rokem +10

    Maybe I missed it elsewhere in the comments, but I'm surprised no one is talking about the air raid sirens droning in the distance and how horribly perfect they are

  • @tomisabum
    @tomisabum Před 3 lety +82

    Oh, I wish this wasn't such a West Coast America Big Mood right now. Still, good stuff. I like the mention of the limits/fixations of the Eye in this latter part, neat.

  • @ash.g1310
    @ash.g1310 Před 3 lety +50

    Honestly this is the place that I'd be most likely. Extinction is the thing that scares me most, especially extinction by the human hand.

  • @kgene1723
    @kgene1723 Před 3 lety +62

    Listening to this to distract me from my driving test tomorrow😣 Jon help me pass✨🙏✨

    • @kgene1723
      @kgene1723 Před 3 lety +9

      Also what would be the entity for the fear of driving?

    • @Davkanus
      @Davkanus Před 3 lety +16

      The Slaughter
      The fear of unpredictable, unmotivated violence. The fear of pain coming at sudden, random moments.
      Taken from the wiki. This is my best guess.

    • @bee8975
      @bee8975 Před 3 lety +5

      ah shit its gonna be me in a few weeks :/ good luck!!

    • @kgene1723
      @kgene1723 Před 3 lety +20

      bee DO NOT FEAR!! If I passed then anyone can✨

    • @bee8975
      @bee8975 Před 3 lety +11

      @@kgene1723 HELL YEA DUDE CONGRATS :DDD

  • @aaronmonter8108
    @aaronmonter8108 Před rokem +12

    Jon's grandma died because of an umbrella

  • @inkycorvid3248
    @inkycorvid3248 Před 11 měsíci +7

    'Our' friends.
    MARTIN..DID YOU FORGET YOUR LAST CONVERSATION WITH DAISY..?

  • @gayslinky5236
    @gayslinky5236 Před 3 lety +50

    Oh- oh! What if this is the in-between of two different fears merging into each other. Like The End and Corruption maybe? What's in-between the two. Probably not but just a small thought

    • @gayslinky5236
      @gayslinky5236 Před 3 lety +12

      Oh well never mind then... it's The Extinction, tbh doesnt seem all that bad? Its seems pretty okay??? It was talked up so much that its appearance is lowkey disappointing??? But that's a good thing- I think that's what they were doing. With all the talk of it being super bad that it kinda just like all the others.

    • @DerMoerpler
      @DerMoerpler Před 3 lety +15

      @@gayslinky5236 It could be part of the fear if you think about it. Of course the Extinction was talked up, it's about the end of our entire species. To us as humans, that's the biggest deal we could possibly think about. But that significance isn't objective. Earth doesn't really care if humans survive or not.The planet continues exiting either way. The fear in this domain is not only our extinction, but also that the whole thing - and by extention we as a species - isn't that big of a deal (this is where the fear brushes up against the Vast).

    • @maneater2066
      @maneater2066 Před 3 lety +17

      @@gayslinky5236 The dangerous thing about the Extinction wasn't the fear itself, it was its possible manifestations: had it become powerful enough to start creating avatars or even attempting a ritual, it might have been catastrophic, because its whole thing is exterminating all life. Of course now that the Eye reigns supreme it's just a fear like the others, but I think it was a legitimate concern to have before.

    • @mimkyodar
      @mimkyodar Před 3 lety +4

      @@gayslinky5236 What is the power of the fear of the world changing into something terrifying and unknown ... when that literally happened?

    • @BeautifulEarthJa
      @BeautifulEarthJa Před rokem

      @@mimkyodar humans aren't extinct in most of the apocalypse

  • @jamesmortimer4016
    @jamesmortimer4016 Před 3 lety +15

    Hi Alex!

  • @2shadesofgray752
    @2shadesofgray752 Před 3 lety +52

    Which one is this?
    The extinction?

    • @lexa2310
      @lexa2310 Před 3 lety +28

      Seems like it. Apparently it has already manifested enough to have its own nightmare-place.

    • @f_mva
      @f_mva Před 3 lety +13

      yep. i thought it would be a bigger deal tbh? but it seems it's now a fear like all the others

    • @lexa2310
      @lexa2310 Před 3 lety +21

      @@f_mva I have started wondering if maybe 'the extinction' has always been there but just wasn't distinguished enough for smirke to pick up on its existence .
      After all, people have been fearing extinction since the dawn of civilization.
      (Besides, all these characters madly scrambling to prevent the end of the world over-and-over again, isn't *this very podcast* just a story about doomsday scenarios? )

    • @germanerd6148
      @germanerd6148 Před 3 lety +7

      @@f_mva The big deal of Exitinction was it´s ritual I think since it would have ended all other fears even The End because everything would be dead.

    • @mimkyodar
      @mimkyodar Před 3 lety +4

      @@lexa2310 Or maybe, the literal change of the entirety of existence into a fearscape was enough to break it off.

  • @doitsushine92
    @doitsushine92 Před 11 dny +1

    wasn't expecting jon to read an umbrella to filth but here we are

  • @DaybreakTownGSA
    @DaybreakTownGSA Před 3 lety +5

    Jon really just be dragging a fuckin umbrella huh

  • @alphalilly8207
    @alphalilly8207 Před 2 lety +6

    Damn, this one was a good one. Pretty sick. I really like the post-apocalyptic kinda feel. :3

  • @beans_of_jelly
    @beans_of_jelly Před 3 měsíci +1

    That "wHat dOeS iT tHinK iT's _doing_ hErE?" always makes me laugh so much

  • @netgeekdoggirl
    @netgeekdoggirl Před 3 lety +7

    I too consider the bones

  • @ambermcausland6024
    @ambermcausland6024 Před 3 lety +11

    Bro why tf is jon so mean to god damn umbrella leave it alone dude it's trying it's best

    • @mimkyodar
      @mimkyodar Před 3 lety +6

      ITS BEST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

  • @Reasonable_Fun_6709
    @Reasonable_Fun_6709 Před rokem +4

    Me: I wonder what this item is, oh it an umbrella, I love umbrellas!
    Jon: This umbrella is stupid and it's should feel bad.
    Me: Stupid fucking umbrella.

  • @_kai2702
    @_kai2702 Před 3 lety +9

    yo jon what did that umbrella ever do to you-

  • @FoxfurYT
    @FoxfurYT Před 3 měsíci +1

    I look down for 2 seconds before starting the episode and I just see “Jon bullies an umbrella” and I don’t know if I should laugh or be concerned… probably both knowing this story.

  • @Sxcheschka
    @Sxcheschka Před 3 lety +9

    This episode is so hilarious, I love it!

    • @Sxcheschka
      @Sxcheschka Před 3 lety +3

      Existentialism, Nihilism, and Existential Dread are all moot concepts for me, but fun to think about nonetheless. Also this was a really chill and fun episode, interesting concepts brought up.

  • @soulzinhaa
    @soulzinhaa Před měsícem +1

    Hearing this whole episode while being affected by the floods in Brazil right now hits different :(

  • @flynland7366
    @flynland7366 Před 3 lety +6

    How good that we know now that the world is going down with a pandemic anyway!

  • @Ceaseless_Watcher
    @Ceaseless_Watcher Před 2 měsíci +2

    Mocking the umbrella is dry wit.

  • @discomposing
    @discomposing Před 3 lety +35

    can martin and jon smooch pls. just a little one

    • @Tongue_Eating_Louse
      @Tongue_Eating_Louse Před 3 lety +33

      Kissing noises are gross, you get [FABRIC RUSTLES] instead

    • @achnav3762
      @achnav3762 Před 3 lety +17

      Mouth kisses sound gross, but what about a gentle forehead kiss?

    • @Tongue_Eating_Louse
      @Tongue_Eating_Louse Před 3 lety +19

      @@achnav3762 hmm.... i mean yes but [FABRIC RUSTLES] feels more tender

    • @achnav3762
      @achnav3762 Před 3 lety +23

      @@Tongue_Eating_Louse that sounds like a hug to me ? But, I mean, why not both?
      But yeah. I always love to hear some [FABRIC RUSTLE]

    • @mimkyodar
      @mimkyodar Před 3 lety +1

      Sure. *grins*

  • @TeamTamahakk
    @TeamTamahakk Před 2 lety +2

    Degrading that umbrella huh

  • @ann-margretparke9525
    @ann-margretparke9525 Před rokem +2

    That couch did not sound inviting, at all.

  • @cyrilltate7065
    @cyrilltate7065 Před rokem +2

    The fact that, despite the proven ability of objects to function as if they are alive and independent, the umbrella just sits there and takes the bullying means that it is degradable thanks for coming to my TEDTalk

    • @Badficwriter
      @Badficwriter Před 2 měsíci +1

      If objects like the cabin have consciousness, can objects feel despair and fear in magic apocalypse?

    • @cyrilltate7065
      @cyrilltate7065 Před 2 měsíci

      @@Badficwriter I think that it depends. If the object in question is haunted by some entity, then it probably does not feel despair, at least when it comes to situations related to its entity. I do like to think that they feel anger, eg the Coffin was probably angry when Jon came in to save Daisy, but I have no idea if they can act upon their emotions

  • @Sodatsu3
    @Sodatsu3 Před měsícem

    Martin- "It's two seater."
    Jon- "Yes, it is."
    *I imagine Martin paying the seat beside himself*
    Jon- "Hard pass."

  • @molol44
    @molol44 Před rokem +4

    I'm confused. If Jon had to be marked by all the fears, then why is extinction there? Last I heard, he didnt go near anything that was touched by extinction. By the logic of the world the ritual should not have worked. Something smells fishy here.

    • @greyflash77
      @greyflash77 Před rokem +13

      Well… I mean he did have that supernatural incident where he was told that he was going to end the world and had to sit in that dread for a few minutes before like… ending it. That could give someone an extinction mark

    • @Idran
      @Idran Před rokem +1

      It hadn't emerged yet, but it was getting there
      And in the new world, the domains are about what people fear; there were certainly people who feared the extinction of humanity above all else even if The Extinction wasn't yet distinguished as an individualization

    • @lordbaphie
      @lordbaphie Před rokem +3

      My guess is that causing the extinction of the world we once knew was in itself a marking of the Extinction on Jon. And also served as like its food to continue growing. It's a little baby fear but the Eyepocalypse had provided it enough nourishment to manifest in its own tiny space within it

  • @rory1336
    @rory1336 Před 10 měsíci +1

    The couch scene and SFX made me laugh so hard

  • @castielwinchester4481
    @castielwinchester4481 Před rokem +2

    19:25 oh so ˢʷᶦᵐᵐᶦⁿᵍˡʸ

  • @SomeGuy-ty7kr
    @SomeGuy-ty7kr Před 4 měsíci

    I figured out which hell the crew of the Rusty Quill would have ended up in.

  • @casvirgile
    @casvirgile Před 2 měsíci +1

    How has NO ONE commented on the reveal that her pencil IS HER RIB

  • @jennifertheiss7836
    @jennifertheiss7836 Před 11 měsíci +2

    175 episodes and the thing that's gotten me the worst has been the screaming book 😭😭😭 STOP POKING IT

  • @Great_Atuin
    @Great_Atuin Před 6 měsíci

    This is a strange thing to say but I quite like the sound of air raid sirens, they make such a good background noise for a podcast 😄

  • @littlerapunzel8320
    @littlerapunzel8320 Před rokem +3

    What did that umbrella do to you Jon?

  • @drakenhoff
    @drakenhoff Před rokem +7

    RIP to a 15 episode streak of not having to deal with Basira's annoying bullshit.

    • @Badficwriter
      @Badficwriter Před 2 měsíci

      Martin describing those people as friends... Sweetie, colleagues aren't friends. If they violently bully you, they're not even nod-worthy. And Martin did his best to be a stranger to them. Nobody liked Martin and Jon anymore. Except Daisy and she went crazy.

  • @MackenzieAham-pn3gg
    @MackenzieAham-pn3gg Před měsícem

    "oh my goodness, really? And here i was thinking that the apocalypse was going oh so ✨swimmingly ✨!" 19:23

  • @valeriyav2149
    @valeriyav2149 Před 4 měsíci

    i'm going to cling to that "beyong the reality" possibility as a cope-out if everything ends badly (it probably will) but hey, the entites came from other realities and jon may very well become an entity by the end of it so like... jumping in another dimension as the last resort? i'll take it

  • @Thomas-wn7cl
    @Thomas-wn7cl Před 2 lety

    Wheels are flying off

  • @landminefrisbee5838
    @landminefrisbee5838 Před 2 lety +3

    Episode 175: Stupid idiot umbrella getting owned.

  • @SuperClass3000
    @SuperClass3000 Před 2 lety +2

    Jon's ( yes it is ) sent me 😂😂😂

  • @torcaace
    @torcaace Před rokem +1

    ah yes, the scp-fallout mix episode

  • @CytheriaXylia
    @CytheriaXylia Před 7 měsíci +1

    Ok I'm looking at the comments and I'm genuinely curious; how many of you understand that Jon is reading statements off of people in the fear domains? I guess maybe it's a little clearer when you listen with the transcripts, but Jon is just 'reading' statements from people. These aren't his personal opinions of what is happening. Jon isn't bullying the umbrella, the person called Leah is.

    • @Badficwriter
      @Badficwriter Před 2 měsíci

      But that isn't funny, so everyone ignores it.

  • @gayslinky5236
    @gayslinky5236 Před 3 lety +4

    The corruption? Doesnt seem like it tbh, maybe The end? Or The Buried

    • @plaguedilf
      @plaguedilf Před 3 lety +6

      the wiki says its extinction

    • @gayslinky5236
      @gayslinky5236 Před 3 lety +3

      @@plaguedilf yeah I figured that out afterwards

  • @heresthadude1080
    @heresthadude1080 Před 2 lety +3

    The true SCP-001?

  • @wonderwhatsgonnahappen579
    @wonderwhatsgonnahappen579 Před měsícem +1

    OK WHAT IS HIS ISSUE WITH THE UMBRELLA
    🤨

  • @lysithea3420
    @lysithea3420 Před rokem +2

    I feel like cattle decapitation would like this ep.

  • @erinbathie-moore8478
    @erinbathie-moore8478 Před 3 měsíci

    Welp. Now I have to make an umbrella pin with the phrase "silly umbrella" on it! Anyone who Knows will know

  • @BeautifulEarthJa
    @BeautifulEarthJa Před rokem

    Extinction

  • @dragoncult666
    @dragoncult666 Před 3 lety +2

    13:13

  • @stirrcrazy2704
    @stirrcrazy2704 Před 10 měsíci

    It’s an EYE don’t know?

  • @cdhewko
    @cdhewko Před 3 lety +4

    Anyone else not finding the mary sue version of Jon that intereting? I think the interneral conflicts are pretty muted at this point making it kind of mundane insteasd if horrific. Movies have this problem in thier stories frequently. It does make sense from the story arc, but it just isn't as satisfying as the previous chapters. Sorry if that isn't helpful, but... It was awesome before this for me. Scratching a literally itch that I seek desperately.

    • @SorchaSublime
      @SorchaSublime Před 2 lety +3

      how exactly do you propose character arcs end if *this* qualifies as a "mary sue" by your standards?

    • @alphalilly8207
      @alphalilly8207 Před 2 lety +3

      I was sorta thinking the same thing? Although I wouldnt use "Mary sue" to discribe it. More like a sudden power creep that the MC is given.
      You get those moments in anime or in any sort of story where the MC gets so powerful and important and shit and they beat up everyone who's bad and the world is saved.
      But this is really intresting. Its touching upon the same theme but from the perspective of a character who wasnt some sort of "chosen one" or "destined hero" just a random guy who got unlucky, in a world of horrors. Who's very power is fueled by those horrors.
      An interesting twist to the trope I find.

    • @Badficwriter
      @Badficwriter Před 2 měsíci

      @@alphalilly8207 Enh. I agree its not truly a Mary Sue trope, but the overpowered protagonist is boring. Jon is either traumatized or getting spiritually too distant to truly feel anything outside of his affection for Martin. He doesn't feel like a person who is interesting to follow. I think there are plenty of interesting things that could happen for avatars, I love superhero stories. This one is too simplistic in this part. The only good thing is Jon and Martin's relationship. The vignettes are too divorced.

    • @alphalilly8207
      @alphalilly8207 Před 2 měsíci

      It's been almost 2 years since I listened to TMA that I kinda forgot what I was even talking about XDD