THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

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  • čas přidán 7. 06. 2021
  • Case ########-38 Navigating the descent, recorded in Situ. Content warnings: - Heights / Vertigo (inc SFX) - Falling - Panic (inc breathing SFX) - Injury / Pain (inc SFX) - Explicit language - Discussions of: emotional manipulation - Mentions of: arguments, death, self-hatred, lack of self-preservation, paranoia, pleading, kidnapping, alcohol - SFX: wind, creaking metal, screaming & suffering
    Transcripts: PDF - cutt.ly/9zEWNPk DOC - cutt.ly/mzEEqgI
    Thanks to this week's Patrons: V Guest, Fiona Porter, Archimedes 871, Annabelle M, CJ, Cowboyhell, Timothy LaGrone, Jen Amico, Sean Hurley, monstrous venus, Madeleine Wenc, Hyst, Plim Flatterband, Daniel Prehm, Charlotte Farquhar, Catherine Cerny, emrys lee, iriki, Miles Frankel, deirdre, Lea F., Kat Lancaster, Eric Silva, Rebekah Paerels, Julian Sanchez, Leah Hunter, Kiri Baildon-Smith, Bonnie-Jo MacLeod, Noa Jamie Remus, Emilie Clifford, Ruby Mitchell, Carol McPherson, Jules Schaefer, Bradlee Allen, Azra, Jasper Vega, Audrey Salo, Nora, Sara Clark, Georgia Wilson, Clowder of One, Abby G, Elliot G Grace, ZeekiZeii, Harley Powell, Alandrea, Rowan Krieghbaum, ty, Colleen Moore. If you'd like to join them, visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.
    Edited this week by Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead, Jeffrey Nils Gardner & Alexander J Newall
    Written by Jonathan Sims and directed by Alexander J Newall
    Sensitivity consultation by Alexander Linde Nielsen
    Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
    Performances: "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims - "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J Newall - "Basira Hussain" - Frank Voss - "Melanie King" - Lydia Nicholas - "Georgie Barker" - Sasha Sienna
    Sound effects this week by ABouch, AderuMoro, aglinder, AlanCat, alec_mackay, annstory4520, bbrocer, bulbastre, Cell31_Sound_Productions, conleec, corpocracy, CUeckermann, DANMITCH3LL, Darth_Biomech, dersuperanton, dheming, dilsun, Eelke, eitabyte, felix.blume, FocusBay, gfrog, Huggy13ear, IESP, InspectorJ, j1987, jorickhoofd, JustinBW, kyles, laurenmartin236, Microtubule, MTJohnson, PeteIsCool, rkeato, Sauron974, sforsman, SocializedArtist45, speedygonzo, SpliceSound, sturmankin, SunnySideSound, ThunderQuads, tosha73, Volonda, Drkvixn91, nicklas3799, bevangoldswain, MadamVicious, yeopot & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Additional sound effects from www.zapsplat.com.
    Check out our merchandise available at www.redbubble.com/people/Rust... & www.teepublic.com/stores/rust....
    You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe Please rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.
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    The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 136

  • @missep1830
    @missep1830 Před 2 lety +937

    It’s pretty fitting that Martin and Basira literally yeet themselves into the unending void to avoid listening to Jon making a statement by the end of the final season

  • @caseytaylor4896
    @caseytaylor4896 Před 2 lety +363

    "IF ALL YOUR FRIENDS JUMPED OFF A CLIFF WOULD YOU JOIN THEM-" LMAOOOO

  • @Mattriix
    @Mattriix Před 2 lety +523

    Jon being treated like that one friend on a road trip who can't stop needing to go to the bathroom

  • @macabrecitrus2127
    @macabrecitrus2127 Před 2 lety +573

    *Before* the apocalypse:
    the Burried ⚔ the Vast
    *After* the apocalypse
    the Burried 🤝 the Vast

    • @phosismyb1tch717
      @phosismyb1tch717 Před rokem +41

      More like:
      The buried👄the vast

    • @macabrecitrus2127
      @macabrecitrus2127 Před rokem +29

      @@phosismyb1tch717
      Ooh entities kissing !

    • @cupcaketv5673
      @cupcaketv5673 Před rokem +18

      ​@@macabrecitrus2127I mean... kinda Jon and Martin haha

    • @macabrecitrus2127
      @macabrecitrus2127 Před rokem +15

      @@cupcaketv5673
      Oh yeah ! Lonely x Eye

    • @felixrivera895
      @felixrivera895 Před 4 měsíci +5

      Yeah I mean. A blind sea and the absence of choice. Kinda the same thing really.

  • @thatonepersonyouwontremember

    "What about me? I didn't think I was important enough to kill"
    Yep, Martin "My Reason" Blackwood, definitely not worth killing there.

  • @TheBbpeki
    @TheBbpeki Před rokem +335

    Martin choosing to jump off a cliff rather then listening to Jon making a statement has me DYING on the floor laughing

    • @lyx8039
      @lyx8039 Před rokem +14

      Unlike martin

    • @amaris3533
      @amaris3533 Před 4 měsíci +5

      He was also dying on the floor, just perhaps not laughing

  • @AquilesAwK1
    @AquilesAwK1 Před rokem +332

    Ah yes, the 16th and most terrifying of the fears: The Trolley Problem

    • @luxill0s
      @luxill0s Před rokem +45

      I know this comment was made in jest but then I started thinking about it entirely too deeply. I think the Trolley Problem would be Web-ish. The whole dilemma isn’t about “killing one life to save another,” it’s about how much control you had over the situation. It’s kind of like Martin and Jon leaving people to die. Is doing nothing more acceptable than making a choice? Was your choice predetermined? It’s also about ignorance: you have no clue who these people are. What if the 5 people you killed were of the more ravenously murderous and gloatingly torturous variety of avatars? And the 1 person you’ve left to die was a saint on earth who helped old ladies cross the street and loved everyone and took care of their little community garden. Just my 5 cents, I really love the trolley problem

  • @neither_emonor_punk9355
    @neither_emonor_punk9355 Před 2 lety +383

    8:20 - ...sorry, I, ah... uh
    - ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
    - uh-huh...
    - couldn't have made a statement BEFORE we got on the ladder??!?!?!?
    everyone treating Jon's statement-giving this way is one of the funniest things in this season
    The Vast is scary, but if I could fall from such height and not die, I would gladly yeet myself off that ladder Fairchild style

    • @cassou124
      @cassou124 Před rokem +37

      "enjoy sky blue"

    • @BeautifulEarthJa
      @BeautifulEarthJa Před rokem +6

      No thank you

    • @ohmytiredheart
      @ohmytiredheart Před rokem +18

      "Byeeeeeee"

    • @bencebansaghi150
      @bencebansaghi150 Před 11 měsíci +10

      It actually sounds so fun like skydiving without a parachute and any risk

    • @coletteb.8889
      @coletteb.8889 Před 2 měsíci +3

      Same. I love the falling feeling, I just don't want to die at the end of it. If I heard that I probably would have jumped off before Jon found the end of the ladder to skip an hour or two of tedious climbing.
      I do like to think though, that the vast would be so annoyed that I was having fun that it would manifest a staircase right under me after 2-3 seconds of falling just to be petty and make me walk the rest of the way. That popped into my head at that point of the episode and I had to pause because I was laughing so much.

  • @RubeeRoja
    @RubeeRoja Před 2 lety +342

    So my choices are jump off a cliff or cling to it while Jon makes a statement?
    * *swan dives into the abyss* *

  • @agustinamagpie
    @agustinamagpie Před 3 lety +811

    I love how Jon's need to make a statement is treated by Basira like he had to take a leak

    • @aceinspace4340
      @aceinspace4340 Před 3 lety +106

      yeah, lol. Jon didn't NEED to do a statement before they started climbing

    • @BTWimaMermaid
      @BTWimaMermaid Před 2 lety +89

      Basira be like “can’t you hold in it??!”

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 Před rokem +76

      "I asked you if you needed to make a statement five minutes ago!"

    • @cupcaketv5673
      @cupcaketv5673 Před rokem +32

      "I told you to go before we get into the car!"

    • @BoxofMadness
      @BoxofMadness Před 11 měsíci +33

      jon: mom... I want to have a statement now. basira: we have statements at the archive.
      jon: eew these statements are stale

  • @N8O12
    @N8O12 Před rokem +139

    "WHAT this has to be, like, a wrong turn or something!"
    "It's a ladder, Martin"

  • @TheCrimebaby
    @TheCrimebaby Před 2 lety +174

    "Why didn't you do a statement BEFORE this?" "Well I didn't have to go then!" Lol

  • @midnights2631
    @midnights2631 Před rokem +112

    Jon: It's storytime.
    Basira and Martin: *Jump off a into a void to avoid listening to Jon.*

  • @craignewby3675
    @craignewby3675 Před 3 lety +188

    it's raining men hallelujah

  • @rorygiambalvo2955
    @rorygiambalvo2955 Před 2 lety +288

    Basira is their tired teen sister babysitting them and it's amazing.

  • @So_Iace
    @So_Iace Před 3 lety +437

    Caught up on CZcams and I REFUSE to go to the website because that means its over and I'm. Not. Ready. Well done Jon, Alex, and crew y'all are amazing

    • @scuzmunkie
      @scuzmunkie Před rokem +10

      I just saw that they’re doing a kickstarter to do more seasons!! 😊

    • @mistydevillier2197
      @mistydevillier2197 Před 7 měsíci +4

      January 24!!!!!!! I so hope it's a Jon/Martin alternate reality!

  • @brendacox9618
    @brendacox9618 Před 3 lety +292

    That falling and wind sound made me freeze up. It felt like that falling feeling in dreams when you crash down and jolt awake.

    • @Aries_Studios
      @Aries_Studios Před rokem +6

      God now I feel it too just reading this wth

    • @kokonue
      @kokonue Před rokem +3

      Same it literally left me breathless lmao

  • @pyrosianheir
    @pyrosianheir Před 3 lety +283

    Martin's dismissiveness about his self-esteem issues is... Very much a mood that I wish I didn't get.
    Anywho, I've pretty well come to grips with my old fear of heights; it hasn't bothered me in ages (A little vertigo in the St. Louis arch more than a decade ago was the last time). But man oh man, if the Lonely or the Stranger didn't snag me, I'm pretty sure a Vast domain like this one would.
    And boy oh boy, what an appropriate final Domain, considering that we're only 2 from the end.

    • @toastghost9145
      @toastghost9145 Před 3 lety +31

      "Shocker, I have self-esteem issues; not the point."

    • @macabrecitrus2127
      @macabrecitrus2127 Před 2 lety +14

      @@toastghost9145
      Aw Martin 💔 -Stop- -being- -relatable-

    • @azulBjort_1406
      @azulBjort_1406 Před 2 lety +4

      I'm still I bit nervous from when they jumped😅

  • @katg5746
    @katg5746 Před rokem +31

    Martin:
    "Let's keep an eye out"
    Basira:
    "Was that a joke?"

  • @deadorionn
    @deadorionn Před rokem +39

    i don't care if he's dead, this domain belongs to mike crew

  • @paz9044
    @paz9044 Před 2 lety +43

    "shocker. I have self esteem issues, not the point"

  • @someoneawesome8717
    @someoneawesome8717 Před 3 lety +157

    Oh the dialogue in this one is gold

  • @Its_quinlin
    @Its_quinlin Před rokem +24

    I love how everyone treats Jon having to make a statement like him needing to take a piss. You can not tell me that Martin doesn’t treats him like a literal toddler. He’s basically saying “Do you have to go potty again”

  • @pestilence.and.plague
    @pestilence.and.plague Před 2 lety +58

    Let the bodies hit the floor I guess

  • @_kai2702
    @_kai2702 Před 3 lety +180

    apocolypse ladder slam poetry, something i didnt know i needed.
    i also love that even in these horrible moments, everyone still manages to make me laugh. much needed chuckles indeed.

  • @Don_Ponchito
    @Don_Ponchito Před rokem +25

    Alternative name for the episode:
    LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

  • @inkathebadger
    @inkathebadger Před 3 lety +126

    Not me trying to imagine I didn't already listen to the last episode.

  • @nemnyoom
    @nemnyoom Před 3 lety +138

    maybe it'll end differently this time!!! :D

  • @ann-margretparke9525
    @ann-margretparke9525 Před rokem +21

    At last Martin gets his revenge on Jon for not liking his poetry.
    ‘Oh, a statement? Let me yeet myself off this cliff.’

  • @eliotheghost6129
    @eliotheghost6129 Před 3 měsíci +8

    'jon its a cliff..' I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS A COMEDY KSDJFAKLSDJF

    • @eliotheghost6129
      @eliotheghost6129 Před 3 měsíci +1

      (full thing)
      'where do we go now?'
      'we keep going forward'
      'jon its a cliff.."

  • @lenanelson9689
    @lenanelson9689 Před 2 lety +55

    Tma is a comedy first and foremost

  • @pennymcclimon1557
    @pennymcclimon1557 Před 2 lety +29

    Martin Blackwood is Having a Bad Time

  • @robertmcpherson1617
    @robertmcpherson1617 Před 2 lety +54

    We all talk about the amazing writing in this podcast but let's not forget the absolute brilliance of the poetry within some of these statements! He's a wonderful storyteller, sure but he is also a gifted poet!

  • @thunderclancat123
    @thunderclancat123 Před rokem +14

    "If there was another way--"
    "Yeah, but there never is..."
    great foreshadowing there

  • @SuperClass3000
    @SuperClass3000 Před 10 měsíci +13

    Ah😰..... right 😑....The ... The ladder ends 🪜 😂 cracks me the hell up

  • @lenalotus2484
    @lenalotus2484 Před 5 měsíci +7

    Martin saying "For fucks sake" added immortality to my life, god I love the cinnamon roll

  • @erikluis1476
    @erikluis1476 Před 2 lety +29

    Simon Fairchild moment

  • @darcieclements4880
    @darcieclements4880 Před rokem +32

    The writing in this series is indescribably good. I confess I have been stretching the last few episodes over a year because I don't want it to end. I'm probably going to binge the last few before Halloween though.

    • @biancamlf288
      @biancamlf288 Před rokem +4

      Good news for you, we're getting new Magnus content, eventually, hopefully.

    • @occitane41
      @occitane41 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I'm only listening to the last four episodes now that I know there will be new content ^^'

    • @quinnkaplan172
      @quinnkaplan172 Před 9 měsíci

      hey me too.@@occitane41

  • @olympus10001
    @olympus10001 Před 3 lety +83

    hands down my favorite season 5 ep. fall, martin, fall!

  • @julipazos1146
    @julipazos1146 Před 3 lety +112

    ... I want a book, more than one book, with all the statements, from the first to the last~ I would read them all ~w~

    • @Companion92
      @Companion92 Před 2 lety +27

      All statements/episodes in one book would be a really thick book. I hope they put them in a book series, like the welcome to night vale podcast does. I would love to have them

    • @lepidopterology
      @lepidopterology Před rokem +6

      there are transcripts of all the episodes online if u wanted to read them back :D however a book of statements would be so interesting!

    • @bleddynwolf8463
      @bleddynwolf8463 Před rokem +9

      @@lepidopterology yeah, each season would make for a well sized novel, a good five part series.

  • @rory1336
    @rory1336 Před 11 měsíci +6

    This domain wouldn't work on me, I'd just yeet myself off repeatedly for kicks.

  • @carmelwolf129
    @carmelwolf129 Před rokem +19

    i fucking LOVE Vast statements. what a treat, to get one more before the series ends.
    also: "we need to talk" - finally, and it only took the apocalypse to hear that

  • @104snowstorm
    @104snowstorm Před 7 měsíci +9

    Props to the characters this ep, honestly. I was in a (much safer) situation where I had to just step off of a platform and *drop.* To call it fear isn't even accurate, it's a compulsion to cling to the edge. While it has you, you *cannot* let go.
    Fuck the Vast, man.

  • @JustAButterfly98
    @JustAButterfly98 Před 8 měsíci +9

    I wanted to hear that Goofy scream, yknow "ya ha ho hoiy" with all of the other Very Serious Actor screams.

  • @zinganeatsr4011
    @zinganeatsr4011 Před 4 měsíci +6

    John: “Guys…I have to make a statement…”
    Basira: “Ugh, didn’t we tell you to go BEFORE we got on the rickety ladder?”
    John: “I DIDNT HAVE TO GO THEN!”

  • @shisokudo
    @shisokudo Před rokem +23

    How in the world does a PODCAST trigger my fear of heights?!! XD 11/10, would give myself nightmares again.

  • @monke2229
    @monke2229 Před 2 lety +34

    i cant believe there's only 2 episodes left ??? god damn guys

  • @phoenixthedutchie149
    @phoenixthedutchie149 Před 11 měsíci +7

    “You couldn’t have made a statement before we got on the ladder”
    Same energy as
    “YOU COULDNT HAVE USED THE BATHROOM BEFORE WE GOT IN THE CAR!

  • @cantaloupegodling352
    @cantaloupegodling352 Před 5 měsíci +5

    I feel like Georgie is low-key an avatar of The End with The Tunnels as her domain. They take people who suffer in the fear that they could be taken at any time and eventually they all get lost.
    Easily one of the better domains but they aren't exactly balanced.

  • @AutumnIsFalling331
    @AutumnIsFalling331 Před 2 měsíci +2

    2:46 made me laugh way harder than it should have. This why we love Martin, he's just the best😭

  • @alphalilly8207
    @alphalilly8207 Před 2 lety +15

    Honestly I think I'd vibe with the vast XD
    Being yeeted off a cliff or floating in the sea seems pretty pog if one didnt die of it XD

  • @hannahu.6220
    @hannahu.6220 Před 3 lety +15

    We are getting so close! So, so very close!

  • @ZatWonGuy
    @ZatWonGuy Před 11 měsíci +9

    5:22 Basira's chortle extended my lifespan by 5 years, thank you
    EDIT: The entire ladder section was also a treat

  • @hobbledragon5738
    @hobbledragon5738 Před rokem +4

    Hearing Basira snort in laughter was a treat I didn’t know I wanted

  • @katg5746
    @katg5746 Před rokem +4

    Martin hearing the options on the ladder.
    Me: Fuck's sake!
    Martin 2 seconds later 😂

  • @melshinta2966
    @melshinta2966 Před 3 lety +23

    Getting really REALLY nervous getting close (AGAIN) to the end T-T. I tried to watch Nico's commentary on 200 and I COULDNT. STILL TOO SOON. T-T Even though this episode was hilarious it only makes me more nervous for it XD

  • @grfrjiglstan
    @grfrjiglstan Před 2 měsíci +1

    This episode gives new meaning to the phrase "slam poetry".

  • @undergnomes6248
    @undergnomes6248 Před 5 měsíci +3

    Sad Martin noises are my new ASMR 🤣

  • @thistleywistley681
    @thistleywistley681 Před 3 lety +40

    i feel bad for yall that dont know whats coming

  • @faxonii
    @faxonii Před 3 lety +50

    [CLICK]
    [FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL ACCOMPANIED BY SWIRLING WINDS]
    MARTIN
    So… are we going to talk about it, or…?
    ARCHIVIST
    When we get back to London. I don’t - I think we all need some time to think.
    MARTIN

    Sure.
    [FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE FOR A LONG WHILE WITH THE OCCASIONAL SIGH]
    I-I mean it’s a pretty long walk. We could talk about something else.
    BASIRA
    Like why you wandered off with Annabelle Cane?
    ARCHIVIST
    Basira…
    BASIRA
    It’s important.
    ARCHIVIST
    He can tell us when he’s ready.
    MARTIN
    Uh, it’s fine. It’s not exactly a big surprise or anything.
    Back in London, after we… uh…
    ARCHIVIST
    Had a blazing row?
    MARTIN
    I, uh… Yeah, that.
    BASIRA
    What?
    ARCHIVIST
    About what we should do with Jonah. With the Panopticon.
    BASIRA
    How, about whether you should, uh…?
    ARCHIVIST
    Yes.
    MARTIN
    Well, anyway, after that, I was coming out to look for you. But the tunnels are just all over the place, and you must have used a different way up or something, and well… she was there.
    ARCHIVIST
    Waiting?
    MARTIN
    I guess? It was so quiet. And it looked like London did before. So then I figured that she must have had the camera, which meant Salesa was probably dead, and so… well…
    BASIRA
    So…?
    MARTIN
    So I figured she had come to kill you, John.
    ARCHIVIST
    Me?
    W-What about you?
    MARTIN
    What about me? I didn’t really think I was important enough to kill.
    [SURPRISED EXHALES]
    BASIRA
    Wow, Martin, that’s -
    MARTIN
    Shocker, I have self-esteem issues, not the point. Anyway, she said she knew what you were planning to do, what would happen to you in there and… and then she said she knew another way, one where you’d be okay, but she couldn’t tell me, she had to show me.
    BASIRA
    And you took her at her word?
    MARTIN
    Obviously not, but… if she was telling the truth, it seemed worth the gamble.
    ARCHIVIST
    Why didn’t you come get me?
    MARTIN
    Because she said if I did, she’d leave without me. And then… well… we’d have had to stick with crappy Plan A, and you’d… you’d end up gone.

    Okay, look, I-I admit it wasn’t great judgement, okay? But I didn’t see another choice. I figured you were safe enough with the girls, and, well…
    ARCHIVIST
    You were angry.
    MARTIN
    Yeah.
    BASIRA
    Right.
    MARTIN
    And… if I could give you another way out, it had to be worth the danger.
    Even if it was kinda -
    BASIRA
    Reckless?
    MARTIN
    - a long shot.
    BASIRA
    Hmm.
    MARTIN
    [Nervous chuckles] Plus I knew you’d follow me, and save me if things got bad.
    [ARCHIVIST SIGHS]
    Look, I’m, I’m sorry I worried you.
    ARCHIVIST
    It’s okay.
    MARTIN
    But, it does look like I was right.
    BASIRA
    If she was actually on the level.
    MARTIN
    Well… yeah.
    BASIRA
    And if she was, she went about it in a really weird -
    ARCHIVIST
    Manipulative way.
    BASIRA
    Yeah. Big surprise. But she did kinda hold up her end.
    ARCHIVIST
    Huh.
    MARTIN
    I could’ve done without all the webbing, though. Still sticky. Urgh.
    ARCHIVIST
    Well, it’s over now. And you’re safe, that’s all that matters.
    MARTIN
    Not quite…
    BASIRA
    Mmhmm. We do have another option to consider.
    ARCHIVIST
    When we get back. I want to hear what the others have to say about it.
    MARTIN
    Then we should get going.

    Er, speaking of? Um… Where, exactly, do we go now?
    ARCHIVIST
    Forward.
    MARTIN
    Uh, th-that’s a cliff, John.
    ARCHIVIST
    [Sighs] Over there.
    BASIRA
    Oh great.
    MARTIN
    W- S-Ser-Seriously? What happened to the big lake or whatever Basira was talking about? I was looking forward to the lake! I-I’m fine rowing. I’m good at rowing!
    ARCHIVIST
    I’m sorry. Some routes are one-way.
    MARTIN
    [Mildly distressed] So, so what, this is our new path then? Some rickety ladder on a cliff edge that’s so high you can’t even see the bottom? Really?
    ARCHIVIST
    I’ll admit it’s not a subtle metaphor.
    [BASIRA CHUCKLES]
    MARTIN
    [Sullen] Yeah I get it. I don’t need another lesson on nightmare geography. It was obvious as soon as I said it out loud.
    ARCHIVIST
    If there was another way…
    MARTIN
    Yeah, but there never is. Urgh, fine. Come on.
    [CLICK]

    • @faxonii
      @faxonii Před 3 lety +14

      [CLICK]
      [FOOTSTEPS ON METAL AS THEY DESCEND THE LADDER, THE WIND SWIRLING LOUDLY AROUND THEM]
      MARTIN
      [To himself] Okay… Easy does it.
      One at a time. One at a time.
      BASIRA
      Careful of your next one, Martin! It’s loose.
      MARTIN
      Hmm.
      Right! Thank you!
      Brilliant.
      [CAREFUL FOOTSTEP, THEN METAL CREAKS AND GIVES WAY WITH A CLATTER AND SHOWER OF PEBBLES]
      [MARTIN EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK AS HE REGAINS HIS FOOTING]
      ARCHIVIST
      Martin! Martin, are you alright?
      MARTIN
      [Mildly panicked] Mmmhmm!
      BASIRA
      [Gentle] I did warn you.
      MARTIN
      Mmmhmm!
      BASIRA
      Are you good to keep going?
      MARTIN
      Yeah, just… just… Yeah.
      [METALLIC SOUNDS AS DESCENT CONTINUES]
      ARCHIVIST
      Martin, would it help to know that if you do fall, you’ll be okay?
      MARTIN
      [Suspicious] Define “okay”.
      ARCHIVIST
      I, uh - You wouldn’t die.
      MARTIN
      Yeah, but it would still hurt, wouldn’t it?
      ARCHIVIST
      Uh, yes.
      But not as much as th-
      MARTIN
      And, crucially, it would still feel like I’m falling an incredible distance. Wouldn’t it?
      ARCHIVIST
      I mean, you would still be falling an incredible distance.
      You just wouldn’t die when you hit the bottom.
      MARTIN
      Yeah, and there it is.
      BASIRA
      Oh, I have missed your pep-talks.
      ARCHIVIST
      I’m afraid it’s the best I can manage.
      MARTIN
      Yeah, well, thanks for trying.
      BASIRA
      Can we just keep going?
      ARCHIVIST
      Right.
      [LADDER DESCENDING CONTINUES FOR A WHILE, THEN…]
      Ah.
      BASIRA
      What?
      ARCHIVIST
      Right.
      BASIRA
      “Right”, what?
      MARTIN
      Guys, what’s going on down there?
      ARCHIVIST
      The, uh… The ladder ends.
      MARTIN
      What do you mean it ends?
      BASIRA
      I’m guessing you’re not talking about the ground.
      ARCHIVIST
      No. No ground. And… no more ladder.
      MARTIN
      So what do we do?
      BASIRA
      What do you think? We jump. And we fall.
      [MARTINS CHUCKLES IN DISBELIEF]
      MARTIN
      What?! No! No, no. I’m not, I’m not doing that. This is, this is obviously like a wrong turn or something.
      BASIRA
      It’s a ladder, Martin.
      MARTIN
      Yeah, I know, Basira, but somehow we’ve still managed it!
      BASIRA
      You said it won’t kill us, right?
      ARCHIVIST
      Right. We’ll just need to try and -
      MARTIN
      [Babbling to self] Jesus… Seriously? Hah! If, if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you join them? No! No, I wouldn’t! cos it’s stupid!
      BASIRA
      [Sharp enough to snap Martin out of it] Martin! Enough!
      ARCHIVIST
      We just want to make sure we separate out so we don’t hit each other on the way down, or - Oh! Ah.
      MARTIN
      Oh, Christ, what now?
      ARCHIVIST
      Sorry, I, uh… hah.
      MARTIN
      Are you serious?!
      BASIRA
      You couldn’t have made a statement before we got on the ladder?
      ARCHIVIST
      That’s not how it works!
      MARTIN
      Oh c-
      BASIRA
      Fine. I’m out, then. You coming Martin?
      [THE LADDER CREAKS PARTICULARLY OMINOUSLY IN THE WIND]
      MARTIN
      Oh… S-So my choices are jump off a cliff, or cling to it while John does a statement?
      BASIRA
      And then jump off it. Yeah.
      MARTIN
      [Distressed] For fuck’s sake…
      Fine.
      BASIRA
      Okay.
      MARTIN
      Mmhmm.
      BASIRA
      On three.
      One…
      [METALLIC CREAK AS MARTIN LEAPS WITH A GRIMACE AND A SHOUT THAT IS SOON SWALLOWED BY THE WIND]
      [Sighs] Or just go then, I guess.
      [BASIRA JUMPS WITH A NOISE OF DETERMINATION AND IS SIMILARLY GONE]
      [THE ARCHIVIST EXHALES AS STATEMENT STATIC BRIEFLY RISES]
      [SOUNDS OF LADDER CLIMBING, LOTS OF HEAVY BREATHING AND OMINOUSLY CREAKING METAL, LOOSE ROCK DUST AND HEAVY WINDS]
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      Down
      And down
      And down again
      Rung after rung after rung to run down a long forever way to nowhere
      A simple path, a line that was defined before we first stepped off the edge
      We beg to find another way but all around despair is only empty, hollow air
      Don’t look down.
      Don’t see how far it is to fall.
      And still we do not know what lurks so far below and waits upon the ground
      The only sound the howling gale that tries to break us and the tinny click and clack of rusted rungs begun so far above
      Or below.
      Which way we move is but a distant glimpse of what might once be hope
      But now is only only vertigo
      As metal creaks and screams the beams of this iron thin and dying skeleton we hold to spite the sky
      We don’t want to die
      But what else is there to do but climb
      Don’t look down
      Don’t look up
      The rung above is smooth and white and cool as aged bone
      Slick and brittle as the future
      Dead and silent as the past
      The rung below is eaten through with rust
      And creaks and snaps to amber dust when we try to place a foot upon it
      [A RUNG BREAKS, SENDING METAL AND STONES FALLING]
      Fall away, rotten thing
      And leave us to grip with stiff and frozen fingers as we try to linger here and
      Not look down
      Not follow in your path
      Not surrender to the air
      [SCREECHING STARTS, FAINT THEN DRAWING NEARER]
      There is another noise
      A screeching cry from out the sky and lost as fast within its wide embrace
      It is a body, no, a pair, a dozen panicked flailing shapes their mouths agape
      With all the terror that we keep within our heart and try to swallow
      As the void that claims these souls will swallow them
      [SCREECHES TURN TO DISCORDANT SHRIEKS AND THEN TO SCREAMS]
      It’s raining
      Cadavers that do not know they’re dead
      Or do they
      For from their ragged throats they seem to have no doubt as to their fate
      They shout and plead and bargain for gravity to wait and give another chance to hold the ladder close
      Then they are gone
      Abandoned by all but the indifferent pull
      Of the waiting ground below
      But they fall slow enough that maybe we may see within their faces
      Us
      In feature or in name there’s no reflection but the dreadful pained inflection of their fall
      We see our end
      And when they pass so fast it seems perhaps they were not there at all
      We pause and sweat and shake and swear
      It will not be us
      And we don’t look down
      The wind returns to shake the rails to which we bind our path and bids us to continue but
      Something has changed
      We reach up with a shaking hand
      No
      We reach down with a nervous foot
      No
      And all within an instant comes the gut-felt blow that we no longer know which way we were directed
      A moment comes to mind from tinted memory of finding that the sole escape for us was down
      Beyond the crumbled precipice to descend upon this shaking metal thing
      And find a solid earth below it where we might be free
      And yet there is another other coloured but no less in focused clarity or recall
      Of a muddy foetid swamp that clings in cloying clumping damp
      And tried to pull us to itself and claim our last breaths within its awful depths
      So in the dread of our extremity we grasp the slick and filthy rungs
      To pull us up and out
      But now the air is all we see and there may be no cliff or swamp to flee
      Or imagine as salvation from this ladder that is all we know exists
      All else is empty
      And so we wait
      Our breath held close within our chest
      As we wait for a sign of what’s to come
      Where we might go
      We look up at last
      And see its twisting stretch that pulls away in all infinity to nothing
      And we retch to think of all that way to climb to find nothing but a waving orphaned tip
      Surmounting all our fears
      We look down at last
      And the space below us is not endless
      But far worse the ground is there so bleak and bare and hard and waiting hungry for our fall
      How many miles we cannot count for as we try to think about such measurements
      It seems to move away
      Any yet such distance does not dim its need to feed upon our shattered broken form
      And so we cling
      Desperate
      Unmoving
      Holding out with all our might against the smouldering fire of that awful dark desire to surrender
      To the open arms of empty air
      As the bodies start to fall around us once again
      [STATIC RISES AND THEN FADES]
      ARCHIVIST
      Right. Well. I guess that’s it, then.
      A one…
      [EXHALING, HE RELEASES HIS GRIP AND FALLS]
      [CLICK]

    • @faxonii
      @faxonii Před 3 lety +15

      [CLICK]
      [THE ARCHIVIST GROANS IN PAIN]
      MARTIN
      John?
      ARCHIVIST
      [Pained] Mmhmm. I’m here.
      I am here.
      BASIRA
      Come on, even Martin didn’t make this much fuss.
      MARTIN
      I resent that.
      [COUGHING SOUNDS]
      ARCHIVIST
      [Wincing] There is a big difference between knowing pain and experiencing it.
      MARTIN
      Don’t worry, it passes pretty quickly.
      ARCHIVIST
      I know.
      MARTIN
      Of course you do.
      ARCHIVIST
      But it hasn’t passed yet.
      MARTIN
      Nope.
      BASIRA
      Alright, let’s get you up.
      [ARCHIVIST IS ASSISTED UP WITH SOME PAINED EXCLAMATIONS]
      ARCHIVIST
      Okay. I’m okay.
      BASIRA
      Martin says that’s London up ahead.
      ARCHIVIST
      Yes.
      BASIRA
      Looks even more messed up than usual.
      ARCHIVIST
      Yeah. We, uh, we should be okay, but best be careful.
      MARTIN
      Yeah keep an eye out.
      BASIRA
      Was that a joke, or…?
      ARCHIVIST
      Come on. Let’s get home.
      [FOOTSTEPS AS THEY START WALKING]
      MARTIN
      You mean the tunnels?
      ARCHIVIST
      I suppose. I don’t really know.
      [CLICK]
      [CLICK]
      [FOOTSTEPS AND VOICES ECHO AS THEY PROCEED THROUGH THE TUNNELS]
      MARTIN
      Hello?
      ARCHIVIST
      Georgie? Melanie?
      MELANIE
      [Muffled] In here.
      [STEPS AS THEY MOVE INTO THE INDICATED ROOM]
      MARTIN
      Hey, what happened here? Are you both okay? Where is everybody?
      GEORGIE
      [Upset] They came for them. Took them away. Like before.
      ARCHIVIST
      Oh, god.
      MARTIN
      Who’s ‘they’?
      GEORGIE
      The… things from the city. You know, the, the ones that serve that big eye.
      ARCHIVIST
      Because of me?
      MELANIE
      Probably.
      GEORGIE
      W- It doesn’t matter. [Sighs] It’s the same as last time. We thought maybe keeping our numbers down might help, but… No, it was always borrowed time.
      MELANIE
      W-We tried to stop them, but -
      GEORGIE
      There, there were just too many. We… we couldn’t do anything. Just had to listen as they were dragged off.
      MARTIN
      I’m so sorry.
      BASIRA
      Damn.
      MELANIE
      Ha-Hang on? Basira, is that you?
      BASIRA
      Heya, Melanie. How, uh, how are you?
      MELANIE
      I’m fi- I mean… fine compared to - You know. Anyway, come here.
      [MELANIE AND BASIRA HUG]
      Where’ve you been?
      BASIRA
      Just wandering. I’ll tell you about it later.
      GEORGIE
      You got Martin back, then?
      ARCHIVIST
      We did.
      MARTIN
      I was actually doing alright until you showed up, and then Annabelle started acting up for company.
      BASIRA
      At which point we rescued you from certain death.
      MARTIN
      [Grumbling] Well, hardly certain death.
      GEORGIE
      Well, it’s good to see you in one piece. I assume the spider-woman is, um…?
      ARCHIVIST
      Actually, no, it’s a bit more complicated than that.
      MELANIE
      No, I’ll have a real answer, thanks.
      MARTIN
      Annabelle wasn’t trying to kill anyone. She just wanted to offer us a choice. Sort of, tell us about another option, I guess.
      GEORGIE
      That sounds… ominous.
      MARTIN
      Hmmm.
      BASIRA
      It is.
      ARCHIVIST
      Yeah.
      You got anything to drink in those supplies of yours? I think I could really do with one.
      [RATTLE OF GLASS]
      We need to talk. All of us.
      [CLICK]

    • @DungeonMistressC
      @DungeonMistressC Před 3 lety +4

      @@faxonii thank you!

    • @daniellecollins8257
      @daniellecollins8257 Před 2 lety +5

      Really out here doing the Lord's work

    • @luxill0s
      @luxill0s Před rokem

      Our names are kind of similar

  • @minuspi8372
    @minuspi8372 Před rokem +3

    This statement felt like a strange combination of The Vast The Buried. Obviously the distance is of The Vast, but the hopelessness very much echoes The Buried

  • @erinbathie-moore8478
    @erinbathie-moore8478 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I think I've finally figured out why this season sits differently than previous ones... They're styled and written much like Terry Prachet's The HogFather. Lots of thereticals, and runalong sentences. Still, very well written, and I look forward to the emotional drama of the finaly ❤👁💚

    • @MisterListenstoomuch
      @MisterListenstoomuch Před 16 dny

      Holy hell I think you're right! Thats my favorite Discworld book and the energy this season has def been my favorite

  • @hamburgerdog25
    @hamburgerdog25 Před rokem +5

    I'm sure Simon is around somewhere having a fkng day about it

  • @emmaly8993
    @emmaly8993 Před rokem +3

    first time this podcast REALLY got me, the thought of having to jump off of a cliff and surviving but with all the pain irks me

  • @Eyepocampix
    @Eyepocampix Před 10 měsíci +2

    It's gonna take a miracle to get Melanie to believe what happened at Hilltop Road

  • @cupcaketv5673
    @cupcaketv5673 Před rokem +3

    This just reminds me of that new movie "Fall", which honestly makes me sick thinking about, but for some reason I could deal with this episode a little better than I thought hh

  • @Dani_1012
    @Dani_1012 Před rokem +5

    This episode was awesome

  • @imalittlelady
    @imalittlelady Před rokem +5

    The screams here 11:38

  • @danielocegueda5513
    @danielocegueda5513 Před 3 měsíci

    The opening was so good, I restarted the episode when the statement began

  • @figthegiant4065
    @figthegiant4065 Před rokem +2

    Im not at all ready for this to end…

  • @jamesmortimer4016
    @jamesmortimer4016 Před 3 lety +6

    Hi Alex!

  • @wonderwhatsgonnahappen579

    MARTIN.
    DONT JUMP OFF A CLIFF
    Martin: Wasn't planning too
    BUT IF JON SAID A STATEMENT WHOULD YOU!!!!
    Martin: ....

  • @occitane41
    @occitane41 Před 11 měsíci +4

    "I'll have a real answer, thank"
    This one got to me ^^

    • @Badficwriter
      @Badficwriter Před 2 měsíci

      It has a-hole energy. No, you don't get to sit down, you must do an extended exposition dump immediately. Because everyone must submit to my whims...You can tell I have no patience for that sort of person in Real Life.

  • @kylieknopf7883
    @kylieknopf7883 Před 2 lety +4

    4:41 5:42
    mmmm good

  • @caseytaylor4896
    @caseytaylor4896 Před rokem +1

    "it was always borrowed time"
    hm, first Daisy and now Georgie

  • @casvirgile
    @casvirgile Před 2 měsíci +1

    14:10 and where did you come from cotton eye Joe?

  • @taylor6713
    @taylor6713 Před 6 měsíci

    Triangle shirtwaist factory ✨

  • @nefertitigold9720
    @nefertitigold9720 Před 9 dny

    I just wanted to let people know, but I made a physical book of all the Vast aligned statement transcripts(I'm calling it Ex Altiora). I just finished glueing it together (glueing the pages to the cover so it's actually a full book) and I was opening it up to check on it and make sure I didn't ruin it by accident.
    Then I just find a small spider crawling on the end paper... is this a sign? Please send help. Did I make a Leitner?(I added a book plate already)

  • @Yourfather1984
    @Yourfather1984 Před 24 dny

    omg rung from transformers???!!!

  • @irongiant5951
    @irongiant5951 Před 3 měsíci

    I was curious what the least viewed tma episode is, and for some reason its this one, idk i thought it was a great ep, olus the fact thats its the 3RD TO LAST ONE OUT OF 200 i figured would boost this particular eps views, rly interesting how this one wasnt watched v much, i wonder why.

  • @theotherone6482
    @theotherone6482 Před 4 měsíci

    1:02

  • @SecretlyHuntokar
    @SecretlyHuntokar Před 5 měsíci

    19:45

  • @CamilleChauTempsDesCerises
    @CamilleChauTempsDesCerises Před 7 měsíci +3

    Enough with the workplace cpmedy show, now it's time for the adventurer comedy show