When She’s Not Wifey Material
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- čas přidán 27. 09. 2023
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All women I've been with have done that. Expecting me to be in control. Or testing out the limits of my patience. Sometimes they admit that or not. Sometimes they kept doing it and eventually they didn't care about me enough to be faithful. As always I appreciate you and your content as well as your transparency.
Thank you for sharing, John! The testing is huge! It’s damaging and comes from brokenness. Even though I’m guilty of this I also know no one deserves to be treated like that. I’m working on it. And pray you’re able to see the signs or spot the red flags early and run!
Too close to home! I pray your therapy continues to bring you closer to the unpacking that last suitcase of past hurt🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Honesty and transparency are first steps to healing. May God guide your steps on this journey.
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words!
Omg! I was right! I saw that and you confirmed it. Much respect for sharing this with us! Took a lot! You are so beautiful in your own skin. You are not only smart, but intelligent! You seal the truth and wants to share your experiences and finds! A woman with options…a black woman with options is a tough place to be! I have finally got myself in a place that I can step to a high value woman with options! Congrats to you and your quest to improve on your status! Self 🚩! Thanks for sharing and having me to recognize my own self red flag 🚩
I had to pause it when you said the word 'control' to make sure I commented to THANK YOU for this video. Your content stands out on this platform. I love your honesty and can relate!
Thank you! “Control” that word is heavy for me! I’m still unpacking my thoughts about it. I appreciate your support and your content as well ❤
I'm actually going to save this one to do a future review on my channel 🙌🏾. I also love that you are documenting yourself/legacy/thoughts for your daughter. ❤
@nnekaonyilor I'm so glad to see u comment because I watch ur videos and Helena's and I think u both have good wise words.
@@swil8622 Thank you so much!
@nneka oh my goodness, thank you! I love your content, I’m honored! It’s because of you that I was able to define my CZcams purpose as “accountability content.” It makes me feel I’m creating a safe place for authentic people to share their personal experiences. Thank you for your support and your channel!
@@swil8622I love her content, too!
@@HelenaPaschal keep making your content because I like your views and takes a lot so I am a subscriber. Showing luv from the Midwest Kansas!
Appreciate that share. Thank You for pushing the conversation forward and being vulnerable.
Thank you!!!
Appreciate your honesty. I see it in today as to why women are not wife material, the very thing you say they want control and want to dress a whorish type way and a real man don’t want you dressing for the streets, it’s not about control it’s like you say respect, me and my wife let each other know where we at what is happening going on like I tell my friends I am her husband not her daddy, she and respect each other enough to know not to talk or do anything foolish.. we’ve gained each other trust and that’s why our marriage is successful.. and it’s because we put God first ..
Great job on the video.
This was a powerful video. Thank you for sharing.❤
At least you are honest.....
Great video!
Thank you!!!
I looooove the reason you made this channel!
Thank you so much!
You are such a beautiful sweet sounding calm woman that i could really be attracted to😊 Its refreshing to see a lady that can ackowledge her short comings and willing to work it through🙏🏾 I wish my ex would acknowledge hers and stop repeating her lies even 29yrs later😞
Hi
I definitely noticed this with the last girl I was with, it did feel like she was self-sabotaging. I was distraught half the time because I could see actions that were inducing fights between me and her, and I never wanted to let her down so I never “took the bait” so to speak. But I realized that she was recently divorced and coming from an abusive relationship. So I knew patience is what mattered the most.
I tried volunteering an end to the relationship, to give her time to work through it. But she was really into me, so she would never want us to end. But I was tortured, I felt depressed and loving her was something I sometimes regretted, but she would come around and make me feel desired, and I stayed on that hook.
From that experience, I know I wanna go a long while before my next relationship. Sorry I went on for so long, but I totally understand what you’re discussing and I hope you and other women with such struggles find that healing, and I do believe that you deserve love, it’s like sometimes it’s hard to believe that and it can reveal a side of you that you don’t like. But the core person inside of you, deserves love and it does take patience.
Thank you for sharing ❤
I wonder if she realizes she was self sabotaging…most people aren’t aware of it and they play victim. You were patient! That’s also another red flag I’m working on…patience 😮 that may be another video! Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts, I appreciate it!
Great content Helena and Appreciative of your transparency. All so true. I often view your Vlogs.
When men find women from strong instrumental backgrounds, I find Respect towards them is placed as top tier from the beginning. I also find that some women may not find themselves as high valued and settle. Coming from a single parent household, my mother didn’t encourage marriage but did her best coming from a single parent household herself. I married and divorced under 3 years. Sharing your video with my daughter knowing she’ll receive.
I agree! A woman’s background plays a significant role in her respect for men. She might not even be aware of it. *sigh* so many lessons to learn and unlearn. Thank you for sharing and watching!
How long are you going to use your childhood as a reason to not be married? You said that you are 44, that should be enough time to bring down your shield. But, my grandmother told me as a kid, “If your head and heart are not in alignment then don't do whatever you are thinking about doing “ I still love your podcasts.
Appreciate the honesty & I would say atleast you are willing to lay out different reasons or things that you want to work on or issues to discuss but I say as long as you are willing to do these things then you are Wife material simply because most people are not willing to admit things to work on & discuss with partner because no one is perfect and we all have things to work on, but the key is accountability and being willing to fix or pray and work on...as long as you have a partner willing to put in the effort & pray you are wife material because so many men or women can't admit one thing they can work on but you laid out good information and you are just as ready as anyone else in my opinion :)
Thank you for your kindness! I caught myself playing victim and that’s not me so I know the common denominator in ALL my relationship issues is me! So before jumping into anything else, I’ve been taking time to recognize triggers and trust issues so I don’t dump it on anyone who genuinely cares about me. It’s wrong and I’m aware of it. Which is leading to better communication. But I also know no one is perfect, we are a work in progress.
@@HelenaPaschal I hear ya on that but like you said we are a work in progress but with honesty and communication with two mature adults I say it's possible...not easy:) but possible to make it work.
I just had a conversation with a woman from my past about what I realized, which is, most women do not want a man over them. She told me, I’ve gotten mean over the years, I told her, I’ve gotten fed up. I’ll be 57 this year, I’m don’t have anymore time to waste on women who don’t understand that. You want to do whatever you want, go ahead. I’m not going along with your program. In short, I don’t like you like that. This same woman 25 years ago wanted me to give her a baby but sign my rights away. Today she has adopted a couple of kids and now want me to come along and play daddy. I just found out that this is what women are doing. I hope she enjoys her life.
There are so many red flags in this, I’m glad you realize it! It’s unfortunate that our childhood can impact our relationships but it’s not your responsibility to help someone get through trauma or self sabotage. They either do it for themselves or you run! Thank you for watching!
Ms. Helena I've gone through multiple iterations of that testing thing you described and it is draining as a man🤣
Lol! 😂 I’m sorry I don’t mean to laugh but I can only imagine! It has to be exhausting for a man who genuinely cares.
People take comments as hate, no hate here. Fear is the enemy that deflects happiness. If you are afraid to be hurt or lose control you can never have piece.
The realest thing I've ever heard on CZcams!... You are appreciated.
Give her her flowers too, or you are just stupid.
Thank you so much!!!
Hmmm I really don't want to be a wifey work work I'm good
That's your mother's life fear scarcity and lack shouldn't stop you from being a wife
Easier said than done.
Yea I agree. My grandmother separated from my grandfather due to him having other women and also my mom was divorced twice. However I still wanted and desired marriage. However everyone is different and some women just can't decipher through those things and grow up to despise men and reject marriage.
Mother and never married. Women of todays culture. If you have never been married you have never been in those shoes.
Unmarried mothers everywhere wives nowhere