How I deal with homesickness while living abroad
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- čas přidán 14. 05. 2018
- This week I wanted to share tips and tricks to deal with dreaded homesickness abroad! Unfortunately it's part of expat-life but that doesn't mean there aren't ways to deal with homesickness.
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Hey! I'm Alanna - a twenty-something documenting my life as a Canadian living in England.
I share the ups and downs of an expat living abroad and what it's really like living in the UK. It's not always easy, but there's been so many wonderful experiences, too. I post a CZcams video every Tuesday and an additional video every Saturday on my Patreon account. I also livestream every Wednesday and Sunday at 6:30pm GMT on Twitch.
Alanna x
#expat #homesickness
I get home sick everyday and that's just when I go to work. I really just wanna go home
I feel that
How are you now ?
I get anxious and want to go home and see my parents when I didnt get my work done, and so stressed. Im just here sobbing watching this. Idk
I enjoy your outlook on things. Introversion requires a lot of energy to overcome and you seem to be doing a great job.
Thank you! Some days are harder than others, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel! :)
Oh yes, homesickness😭😭😭 Not fun at all!! As far as the language goes, moving from the U.S. to Germany I definitely found it helpful to learn German!! It made such a difference once I could read the signs around town and feel like I could understand more of what was going on around me.
Even if I'm not affected by the issues you raise, I still watch your videos. You speak a lot of sense and are a natural in front of camera.
Michael S Second that.👍
You're too kind!!
Hello, Alanna. Thank you for sharing this video, I’m going to make a pretty long rant so I hope you don’t mind. I recently moved to the UK 3 weeks ago and… I would be in paradise right now if it wasn’t for this demon called “homesickness”. I’m still pretty young (I’m still below 15) so I came with my parents. At first it was okay but gradually as the days went on it started sinking in my heart that I was incredibly homesick. I’m Asian, so the culture, religion and everything is different from where I come from. It makes me feel horribly out of place and I feel like I don’t belong here at all. This was my first time moving and I’m still working on the experience. My English is fluent and I know how to speak with people, but I still feel insecure about my surroundings. I really miss my home country and I miss my friends, my school, my routine, my lifestyle, my past homes, and the rest of my family. I would like to go back but I keep pushing myself and I tell myself that changes are bound to happen one day, and they can be good. I just came back from my first day in school today. I made a friend but it still doesn’t feel like home. Everything is so different here, and I really miss what I call home. I know I will get used to it eventually, but it seems really stressful, like I’m trapped in an endless vortex of being homesick. This is getting long, I know, I’m sorry! My parents and my family worked super hard to get me here, and I do not want to put their hard work to waste. I fear that if I tell them I want to go back, I’ll hurt them. I try my best to remind myself that I am still me, and I will eventually get over this stress. I do a lot of shopping with Chinese shops and food with my family, and it makes me incredibly happy when I see people from the same country as me. I’m just here for my studies and I will go back soon, but it still doesn’t help me with my homesickness. Thank you for the tips Alanna. I know they will help a lot. I feel a lot better after writing this, like I let all of my feelings out. You can ignore this super long comment if you want, and I hope you continue enjoying your life in the UK! Best of wishes.
Loved that little zoom-in re the full English. Subtle but really funny!
Another epic A&N! I could listen to you talking all day. Interesting, funny, good looks, sarcasm, what more does YT need? Also, good to see you still in one piece after a week of UK driving :)
Haha the sleep thing! That's so true. The older I get, the more I realise the huuuuuuge emotional difference that lack of sleep makes, to pretty much everything. Thanks for another interesting video!
Chill. It’s all good. Enjoy the sunshine, go for a pint and ignore anything negative.
Nice to see another new video .Well done .
all good advice, I can speak thirty languages......um well actually I can't, but I can ask for a beer in thirty languages and that definitely helps!
Good advice Allana... after 9 years living in Canada I rarely get homesick now, I guess Canada has become my new home. I think what helped me was that I threw myself into Canadian life and embraced it right from the start, and focused in the things I could do/get in Canada bit not in the UK. I have been told I am more Canadian than some Canadians now! Lol
Couldn't of said it better myself :)
You are very smart to recognize this now before you make a decision to ever move back, because homesickness does cause that kind of depression. Very, very important for people to understand this!
Hi Alanna, I love your videos. What you say is so easy to relate to.
Another excellent and informative video, keep it up!
Good video. I think also one thing to also realise must be it is very normal to feel homesick and expected. Your offerings and suggestions just hopefully make it either easier for people to move on from that feeling or give them helpful suggestions on things they may not have tried.
Good advice, especially the "things will get better"
I brought my pillowcase too!! I've got this ridiculous Pirates of the Caribbean Johnny Depp pillowcase i've had since I was like 12 haha. I just knew it had to come with me to make wherever I ended up feel like home. Love the advice!
Wow yet another really informative video and it's hard to believe that you say you are an introvert as you come across as a confident happy young lady
When I went to live in Australia, from Ireland, I never got homesick once. I kind of felt guilty because of this because I am a homebird and have a big family but I didn't really miss my home when I was away, this surprised me. Really like your videos btw.
Hello 👋🏻 I am from the Philippines and I am currently processing my unmarried visa and then I stumbled upon your vlogs and it is really helpful for me. Thank you and hope you continue making videos. Cheers!
Excellent video as always, lot of great tips there. Quite a few that I did myself in the past: I spent a few years living in the US. Think I was lucky that I quickly got into a good social group, so was too busy to think about missing home too much. I also took the chance to explore the area and surrounding states and joined in with a lot of hikes, something I never do here in the UK. Think in the end I missed the US more when I moved back to the UK.
You're so natural in front of camera that you put to shame so called professionals ' I think it's because you speak from the heart, well done.
Sorry to hear about your homesickness, I hope in general you feel welcome and after 2 years you feel more at home here.
I had to deal with this when I moved to Spain to live with my boyfriend, I was only there for a year but the culture shock was intense - I missed so much about the UK. However I also love Spanish culture and I was excited to live with a new set of cultural norms. Sadly I didn't have this video to prepare me and I had to figure out a lot of this stuff overtime and that proved to be quite difficult :(
For anyone thinking about starting a new life in another country, take this girls tips to heart! She really does know what she's talking about.
"So without further ado, let’s go” hey Alana another excellent video full of good and common sense advice. Really helps to make an attempt to speak their language, They really appreciate any and all efforts. Foreign foods is one reason for traveling 😋
You live in a beautiful part of England if a little flat.
Great delivery as always, wouldn’t know you’re a little introverted. I am .
Gotta say, your hair looks fantastic.😊
Greetings from Liverpool 🕊
Thanks Alana for your authenticity and vulnerability. It's so refreshing to watch real life as opposed to one-sided trash. This video should help people planning to relocate to know what to expect and tools for how to deal with this stuff. At least from this video, we know we're not alone. I can relate to being home sick. I experienced this in boarding school and when I would go for sleepovers and also having been abroad. You should also watch List Foss on Ted Talk on 'the woes, glows and grows of relocation'. That's the name of the video. Much love girl, you'll do great!
*Lisl Foss*
A great and helpful video.
Hey Alanna! another really good video, from the heart too, you're certainly talkin on a subject you know pretty well, aren't you!? I love England and being an Englishman, but I think if my home country was Canada, I'd be as homesick as heck too!!! The hiking idea is a brilliant one, how's this: if it's your cup of tea, why not connect with the country(side) by going camping in it? Summer's comin' ... just a suggestion. Wouldn't normally mention this but it was a fun round number... I was your 100th thumbs up! 👍 (⬅ 101 😂😂😂)
cool vid hun, keep em' comin'
I am always interested in hearing your ideas. Your caution for the internet is very wise, for domestic activities too. It can get disheartening forever watching what someone else is doing. I suffer from bad anxiety issues so often can't get out. It's lovely keeping in touch but one needs to be careful to not be disheartened. You express yourself so gently, I can imagine you being a spokesperson for explaining important issues. I look forward to your next video.
Hi Alanna, thanks for sharing another great video. Your points are excellent regarding beating homesickness. Fortunately, when we moved from Sydney to Melbourne, most of our close family moved with us. My parents had passed away before we moved and I have no brothers or sisters. My in-laws followed us down here within a few years after our move. Prior to that, we kept in contact with them with phone calls and letters (no Internet back then). The biggest challenge was getting used to living here in Melbourne after living in Sydney prior to that right back to my birth. We did find there were some food items not available here, but since that time, they have become available. Lifestyle here in Melbourne suits us far better than back in Sydney, which had changed to a point, where we found we no longer enjoyed living there. When we moved here, most of our furniture came with us and it was a big comfort seeing some of our favourite things around. Anyway, take care. Robert.
I've never met another content creator from Kent :O Love the vids!
I would never have thought you were an introvert, I'd imagine you being really chatty with people. But I can totally relate, you've got to go out of your comfort zone now and again and the more you do it the easier it becomes.
For me, ice developed homesickness over time because in the beginning everything was new and exciting
Exactly the honeymoon phase will dissipate and then your left lonely, depressed and very homesick. It's a huge difference between visiting and moving but to overcome learn the language, intentionally seek new friends and will yourself to stay and remember why you left your home country in the 1st place.
Home sickness is a form of grieving I think. If you choose to live in that place, remind yourself why you chose to live there. "Home" is great but then you wouldn't get whatever it is you moved for.
Getting out and exploring the local area and getting involved in the local community is great advice. You lose your sense of home when you move, so you need to make your new town your new home. If you don't know your local area well then it won't be a home, it'll just be a house with some disconnected spots.
Congrats on 11k subscribers too!
Great video.
Great video Alanna....again. I lived in a village in France for about 6-7 months in the early 90's, so no real internet. Luckily I lived with an English family and worked with the husband doing construction. After a few months I moved into Paris to live with my mate and his French girlfriend. The thing that I found hard was not being able to converse with the locals very well which I found a bit alienating.
Love watching your videos, you have defiantly boosted my drive to leave this country. I’d love to move to USA or Canada for a couple of years, learn the culture, meet new people and really push out of my comfort zone.
When you was speaking about your bf “complaining” about the breakfast, obviously I don’t know any context as I don’t know either of you, but irony is a big part of English humour. I can imagine he may have been complaining as a joke knowing that of corse a full English wouldn’t be on the menu.
Throughout my life I've been into the night sky. It's nice to look up at the moon and stars now and then to get a sense of continuity in my life.
Super advice :)
Strange. It was playing but I was working on another web page whilst she was talking. I found it quite soothing. Strange.
I'm from Ontario too! Living in Germany. This was pretty cool :)
In short, "embrace it". Some hiking suggestions: the Thames Path. You can travel to London and walk the final stage which takes you through some interesting parts of London. Or you can walk other sections. The Ridgeway is a national trail that runs east-west across central England. An interesting video which made me wonder how your forebears coped with being new arrivals in Canada, in the knowledge they were unlikely to ever return to the UK. It was only when I got talking to some people who'd left the UK for Canada that I realised the enormity of their decision to build a new life abroad. Your boyfriend probably knows that one place he can get a full English is on the Spanish coast in places like Benidorm. Excellent advice on sleep.
Wish this video was up when I was at boarding school aged 6!
A good pub, solves so many issues.
As long as you go home for Christmas,that should relax you more.
thanks for tips my wife is moving to UK from Toronto soon
Hi Alana. Thanks for another great video with excellent advice. If you want to try a new hike, then Google "Perry Wood, Selling, Kent". They are a nice place for a walk. Also, sections of the North Downs Way near Maidstone and Boxley village are also pleasant.
Thank you, sounds great!
Your growing so fast,, remember me when your famous 😉😂
I dont know about anyone else who watches A&N but when are we going to get the video saying my boyfriend surprised me and got onto one knee and now he is my Fiance. I also find it peculiar minus the things about England and the comparisons to Canada which i find very interesting i have no other interests but yet i cant help myself and watch all the A&N videos she is fun quirky entertaining and informative even about issues not discussed enough like anxiety. So want to say thank you for the videos me and 11k are apprecaitive and please keep going you are on my must watch on Tuesday after work.
I thought pillow cases from home was a good idea - it gives you some special comfort at the end of the day.
I hope you're enjoying watching the wedding Alanna . I'd love to see you do a Vid about it. X
Alanna you are spot on with the lack of sleep lol, if I miss to much of mine, get so lethargic and depressed :-( lol...I also find the Social media thing can be a double edged sword, yes it keeps you in touch with loved ones, but especially things like facebook, you only tend to see posted peoples good moments/events, and none of the bad, days, hard days or sad times, so tends to give you a skewed perspective and make like everything is perfect their and somehow you are missing out or your life is not asgood somehow if that makes sense?, any way keep up the lovely videos, love hearing your perspective.
P.S you should come up and visit Scotland, we have plenty of hiking routes up here to try, am sure you would like ;-), and as someone else posted here, maybe try a joining ramblers/hiking group.
Thank you! I've only been to Scotland once but it was lovely, would love to go back sometime soon.
One 'unlike' even before the vid ends (or even starts)? It's 14 mins long and has been up for about 59 seconds. There's some bitter and nasty people out there.
Séb V Correction: the person was very excited for her next video to be uploaded and in their haste they clicked the wrong icon without thinking.
That room looks better that way round.
If you like hiking you should go up north, either east coast or west coast and in between they are all brilliant for walking and the views are excellent. You have some very sensible ideas for homesickness, when I was in the army we only had snail mail so it was not too bad and if you were somewhere like Belize for instance the post was very bad so one did not dwell on things:-) I also agree with another post, why oh why do people press the thumbs down button, I will never understand their mindset.
Great vid again. Tho i havent moved country, i have moved away from 'Home'
Heat wave over. Back to hoodies
222nd like love your open honesty and as an introvert empath i feel your pain and ive never left my hometown in the uk
Agreed. you really have to push yourself to mingle and soak up the culture - remember you're just as 'exotic' as they are to you, so can be fascinating to meet new people. My fav thing was my first meal when i arrived, in downtown Toronto - my friend (who i was visiting) took me straight to their fav restaurant. I still have dreams about that sushi - too good and can't get it here in the UK. lol.
Re: getting out and exploring. If anyone is struggling with this then maybe it would help if they took up an AR game like Ingress (or if you must, Pokemon Go), as they encourage you to find new-to-you locations locally and further afield. Just remember to look up from your phone and appreciate where you are !
That's a great idea!
My Dad passed away 16 year ago, sold his house, but to me that will always be home.Miss him and still get home sick.
Living in my home countries ( esp Morocco) as a child makes me always feel home sick. Living in italy growing up and then London for the past 7 years still makes me feel so sad missing Morocco and every beauty of it !
I never felt at home in Italy although I enjoyed living there, in the UK it’s even worse😭😢 I do eat and keep up with a lot of customs from back home but it’s never the same. I will be eventually move there if God willing! 🥳
I was quite fortunate in Cincinnati and the surrounding cities of Dayton and Columbus, in that there was quite a large ex-pat community. I even bumped into a girl waitressing in a local Irish bar who came from my hometown. They helped me integrate into the different culture. Also allowing me to sample British beer and food and chat about or watch football. Simple things but as you say getting out and doing. Which also ironically put me in touch with more Brit ex-pats through football coaching, landscaping and working in the local PBS TV studio, where I came across four more Brits. You have to adapt. My accent had to change so they could understand me (I'm still often asked what part of Canada I am from, even though I never lived there) and over time I got used to the Sunday morning Frischs Big Boy breakfast. My fiancee has day to day contact with her family and friends through WhatsApp, Skype and Facebook. WhatsApp is the go to for her as she can facetime with her Dutch family and friends as she wanders room to room with her phone as opposed to being stuck in one place using Skype on the laptop.
Thanks for the tips!
I am really curious though, how did you and your boyfriend meet? Also, I live in California and we get some real crazy drivers as well as some hardcore driving. Do you think I’d be okay driving in England other than getting used to the differing sides and rules? I know that you had some difficulty adjusting to it but I couldn’t tell if that was mostly because you lived in a small town and then moved to now only a large one but one with differing driving laws.
We used to get episodes of Due South here you could have watched that 😀.
Which of course was ironically filmed in Toronto rather than Chicago. You can guess where they filmed the Toronto scenes?
Ignorance is bliss...classic British saying, perhaps you should plant a maple tree in the back garden ? its summer yipeee party time in the UK
Love your voice and long hair 😍
Good video as always , my sister moved to Australia we just chat on whattsap some conversations can last a week as we miss each other due to time diff 😂byeee 👍
I moved to India two weeks ago. I'm missing home so much. I love my kids. Home sick
Yet again another brilliant video,you keep on about this English boyfriend any chance of seeing him ?or do you keep him locked up in the cellar lol
Always try to learn a few words of the local language as soon as possible - for you Alanna that would be "Cheers"!
I’ll shall watch when I’m home. I’m being a Bus Wa@&er today and forgot my headphones. 😶
How's your new job going? How are you settling into driving now? There's some video topics...
Hi another good vlog and I hope you feel more at home now and how is your new job going hope you like it and can you do a vlog how you came to meet your bf and came over hear
Good tips.
Something like Facebook groups are a great way to integrate. Things like car clubs. Photography clubs. Movie clubs. Food clubs. You can usually find something Pretty near you anywhere you go - even if it’s a small group or if you have to start it and wait for others to join. Meetup.com used to work well I’m not sure what their status is now.
The idea of getting out of the house is good. You can go smaller than that when dealing with mood issues. Even changing rooms can be enough - motion creates emotion.
Save money to help your friends and family visit you if you want people to explore your new home with you.
Even when I moved from Scottsdale to Manhattan I felt homesick. Let alone when I go to England. It waned after the two year mark but it came back with a vengeance five or six years after I’d conquered that move. So don’t sleep on it once it lessens or give up.
One difficult part of integration into English culture is how early everything shuts. So you do have to plan meetups and such with that in mind - and travel distance as you well know.
Again great video with good ideas. Well done you.
Alana, love you and your videos. Where in ontario are you from and if you don't mind can I ask how old you are? Xx
It has been shown in a number of studies that walking helps with depression and anxiety, so its not just you.
also vitamin D affects mood.
BYIEEEEE!
This is from having moved around since I was about 8, now 64.
We have much in common with the people in our early life especially your family and our neighborhood and school henchmen, thing is, when you leave that environment as a young adult you are less flexible; sorry just a fact, here's a thought, I think you have a great foundation already going, you have a BF. Plus you spent a lot of years being very tolerant of your old friends foibles which will help you in developing new relationships. Just remember we are constantly changing, commonalities come and go even within families. Change can be a lot of fun. if you don't hold to tightly to the past.
I get homesick a lot, when I'm at work
As a introvert living abrod i used to spend my days alone i rather be at home than out on my day off
Alanna have your folks come over to England for a visit yet?
Yes they have! My mum is coming back soonish so we'll do some more touristy stuff together :)
Will you live in England for the long term please?
Let's hope so,
You have Queen Lizzy :Part 2 , on your money, by law, you have to have a Full English Breakfast available.
It's just not cricket to deny an Englishman his morning fry up. .
Hi...... An observation - not judgement ok...??? I find your editing really good and professional, but sometimes it can be a little "tight".... ie. like sometimes a sentence lacking punctuation, if you catch my drift.
I noticed because I was just waiting for a break in the narrative to pause quickly to go and grab my tea I had left in the hallway, (yes, forgetful I know) and I found it really difficult to actually find one, and I was only 2:28 into the video...???
Other than that a nice concise verbalisation... (Thumbs-Up).
Oh, and you have really nice hair! (Another "Thumbs-Up").
Alanna has "joie de vivre" - it's just a shame the French don't have a word for that...
Don’t get between a man and his full English! 😆
Pancakes and Maple leaf syrup, fantastic...
Vitamin D - also I have an alarm now to remind me to go to bed! Plus Canada doesn't have a Full English and you expect me to visit? That's asking a lot!
I hate homesickness. When I go away on holiday, it hits me after about 9 days. I really don't want to be that way. I want to be the iconic cosmopolitan world traveller living out of a suitcase, but sure as eggs is eggs, that pesky homesickness just hits me like a sledge hammer at the 9 day mark.
You have a wise head, on young shoulders. :)
I've tackled homesickness with a bit of becoming mild workaholic. Not exactly the way I recommend. Doesn't suite everyone.
No Full English in Canada? One place to strike of my list for places to go.
No full english in Canada?? What do they eat there then?
I had encountered this disaster once in Scotland but the crisis was averted once I realised that they called it a full ¨Scottish¨ instead.
Seriously, have you ever considered being a radio presenter. You remind me of Chris Evans, he has a way of being able to talk about some really mundane things and make them funny and intriguing. You are very affable, you can talk about anything and make it entertaining and funny and enjoyable to watch. A good way in maybe your local community radio.
Not by any means inferring your homesickness is mundane. But Chris Evans was talking about cooking poached eggs the other day with someone that rung it, in places I was crying with laughter next I had a lump in my throat because he did something really nice for the caller. You have the same attributes, I reckon you would be fab👍
Thanks so much!!
muppetnumpty65 a
Just not top gear Chris Evans :) once you try too hard it’s over!! I agree she’s very likeable in front of camera. Damn friendly Canadians taking our jobs.
That's what e-mail is there for. No time limit, all hours of the night.
Sounds quite like how to deal with anxiety too...
Very similar!
Who else is watching this the last night before the class trip? Because I do. And I‘m f*ck*ng scared 😭
I'm homesick, I spend all my time at home and I'm sick of it.