Danny's Jewish Stories and Jokes (Compilation)

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  • čas přidán 17. 10. 2013
  • EDIT: In honor of hitting 2 MILLION VIEWS (wtf even) I went through the whole video and added annotations with links to the original episodes on the top left corner of every bit. For mobile users, here's the full link list in order:
    • Super Castlevania IV: ...
    • The Decision - NSP
    • Castle Crashers: Storm...
    • NSP Theme Song - NSP
    • Castle Crashers: Klaus...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: I'm...
    • Darknuts in the Dark |...
    • The Decision - NSP
    • Castle Crashers: Scien...
    • Super Castlevania IV: ...
    • Darknuts in the Dark |...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Flu...
    • Bubble Bobble - Game G...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Flu...
    • Super Mario Bros. 2: ...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Leapin' Larrys | The L...
    • Super Mario Bros. 2: ...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Don...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Super Tennis - Game Gr...
    • Castle Crashers: Klaus...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: TOO...
    • Castle Crashers: Total...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Castle Crashers: Allus...
    • The Blue Ring | The Le...
    • Jackal: In the Swamp -...
    • Castle Crashers: Klaus...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: TOO...
    • Castle Crashers: Storm...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Pho...
    • Castle Crashers: Storm...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Spooky Scary | The Leg...
    • Castle Crashers: Faile...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Super Mario Bros. 3: F...
    • Castle Crashers: The N...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Castle Crashers: Scien...
    • Video
    • Castle Crashers: You'r...
    • Super Castlevania IV: ...
    • Super Mario Bros. 3: S...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Eve...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Super Mario Bros. 3: S...
    • Worms Armageddon - Ste...
    • Spider-Man and Venom: ...
    • Super Mario Sunshine: ...
    • Worms Armageddon - Ste...
    • Kirby's Epic Yarn: Pho...
    • ירדנה ארזי הבה נגילה Y...
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 3,7K

  • @thebluebabychannel2714
    @thebluebabychannel2714 Před 8 lety +1489

    "my jew side, which is all of my sides, are offended."

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 Před 5 lety +42

      “With a Jewy caramel center!”

    • @gamingbauman5834
      @gamingbauman5834 Před 5 lety +1

      The Blue Baby Channel dans Jewish so don’t be offended

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 Před 5 měsíci

      @@SlyHikari03iirc the swastika was actually a fairly common and popular symbol in the early 1900s and had deep connections to European and Celtic roots, it’s not a purely eastern symbol. For the nazis it represented their desire to go back to ‘traditional’ German pagan-adjacent culture, and it’s a simple and easily identifiable symbol, great for being the mascot for a movement

  • @very_much
    @very_much Před 9 lety +2698

    Guys.
    Guys.
    It's just a hunch, but I think that Dan might be Jewish.
    I dunno though.

  • @ThanatorRider
    @ThanatorRider Před 8 lety +1337

    "Is Hell real?"
    "Nope!"
    "Oh! Thank God!"

    • @KaladinVegapunk
      @KaladinVegapunk Před 6 lety +38

      ThanatorRider yeah kind of a contridiction haha.
      The vast majority of people didnt convert to the modern monotheistic cults until they added hell as a threat to hold over people then they pretty much did it out of fear, and then it just had its hooks in our culture

    • @Rayray-iu5fx
      @Rayray-iu5fx Před 6 lety +28

      crimsontowers funny thing the concept of hell we have is from Dante’s inferno not the Bible the Bible just says those people don’t go to heaven

    • @thomasl1061
      @thomasl1061 Před 6 lety +5

      Thank YHWH.

    • @MatthewNeathery
      @MatthewNeathery Před 5 lety +5

      The bible describes hell but yes Dante's inferno is the common knowledge image. The bible says its a place of everlasting darkness and fire. It doesn't necessarily say its in the earth. It just says that Abraham's bosom is on the other side of it and can be seen a far off. And there are worms that don't die. That hell will be removed from where ever it is and cast into a lake of fire. It also says that hell is continuously getting bigger. That's about it. And most of that is in the New Testament. Hell wasn't as much of a punishment for Jews as much as death was.

    • @shana7926
      @shana7926 Před 5 lety +1

      @@Rayray-iu5fx that's. Not true. The parable of the rich man and Lazarus talks about hell

  • @clairebit
    @clairebit Před 8 lety +3874

    How does Dan make his coffee? Hebrews it.

    • @teammagmaadminalex917
      @teammagmaadminalex917 Před 8 lety +8

      +Molly Niner No, it's cool of new to think of it as funny.🔯

    • @teadop
      @teadop Před 8 lety +4

      +Matthew McGrath הא! בדיחה טובה ישראלי .

    • @danwrizzo
      @danwrizzo Před 8 lety +12

      Palpatine

    • @goldengames8792
      @goldengames8792 Před 8 lety

      how else would you make it?

    • @Xandermorph
      @Xandermorph Před 8 lety +4

      +Party Poison LOL hell no, it IS funny :)
      Puns have a place in humor too, as long as they're at least somewhat clever... i.e. NOT from a Bubsy game. :P

  • @QwopTheFrog
    @QwopTheFrog Před 8 lety +1248

    Every now and then, I'll come back to this just to hear that fucking intro.
    "Hey I'm Grump!
    I'm... Jewish
    And we're the Game Grumps!"
    I lose my shit every time

  • @ultimateninjaboi
    @ultimateninjaboi Před 8 lety +670

    Dan is a Jersey Jew. he's culturally OBLIGATED to worship bagels.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 Před 5 lety +18

      Ever tried them toasted with butter and garlic powder? Breakfast of champions.

    • @spencer9305
      @spencer9305 Před 5 lety +22

      As a Jersey Jew, I can say that this is 100% true

    • @ryandoherty4291
      @ryandoherty4291 Před 4 lety +9

      As another Jersey Jew, I can say this is true. Bagels are life.

    • @abigailowens3907
      @abigailowens3907 Před 4 lety +4

      Like Kyle?

    • @trollerpilotxiv3079
      @trollerpilotxiv3079 Před 4 lety +3

      @@srbrant5391 I'll do you one better. Pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese and lox.

  • @beaniepollard8290
    @beaniepollard8290 Před 8 lety +927

    The funniest part of the vid for me:
    "I wish all the Jews were gone!!!!! ... Danny? Danny, where'd you go?"

  • @Starsim99
    @Starsim99 Před 8 lety +847

    "I need to go take a shower. Oh, wait I didn't mean it like that."
    I AM DECEASED 😂

  • @birthdaygirl1126
    @birthdaygirl1126 Před 6 lety +378

    7:23
    "Thank God I have my healing Jew-ey powers"
    "Is that a thing?"
    "Yeah, Dude. You never heard of Jesus?"

    • @Polychi1998
      @Polychi1998 Před 5 lety +2

      Danielle Bruno Except the Jews betrayed jesus

    • @nickname8619
      @nickname8619 Před 5 lety +19

      @@Polychi1998 dude, the romans nailed him on the cross, you're following millenias of catholic church propaganda

    • @TheLegend1800
      @TheLegend1800 Před 5 lety +33

      -Jewish
      -Long Hair
      -Normally Chill Attitude
      -Spouts Wholesome, Helpful Advice
      -Decent at Carpentry
      Dan is the Second Coming Confirmed

    • @kamronspencer4910
      @kamronspencer4910 Před 4 lety +5

      Nick Name the romans nailed him to the cross but the Jewish also weren’t happy with him. The ones who didn’t accept him as the messiah saw him and his preaching (and also his hanging out with criminals) to be both giving them a bad name and to be misguiding people. And in fact the romans actually believed they were doing the Jewish community a favor by getting rid of someone they didn’t like while simultaneously helping themselves by removing someone they viewed as disruptive element.

    • @TacComControl
      @TacComControl Před 4 lety +7

      @@kamronspencer4910 To be fair, if you went around saying you were the messiah and the son of god, and getting into fights with fig trees, I'd probably wanna nail you to a cross too.

  • @thealmightybuttlet6925
    @thealmightybuttlet6925 Před 8 lety +448

    My "How to be a man" talk went, "Son, it is time for the talk." And I said "No, I'm ok." And we never talked about it again.

    • @wowwoah6392
      @wowwoah6392 Před 8 lety +39

      I remember just telling my father, with dead seriousness with my eyes...
      "Micky mouse did the fricky frack with Minney mouse. In the dark."
      I was 13.

    • @DavidNightjet
      @DavidNightjet Před 8 lety +26

      +Jordan Junkin I never had the talk. I just found out on my own by reading hentai.
      Don't fucking judge me. I can do what I want.

    • @silversaiyan7276
      @silversaiyan7276 Před 8 lety +4

      +N Studios I found out by watching hentai :D

    • @evolutiagames
      @evolutiagames Před 8 lety +8

      +N Studios Don't fucking judge me, I can make my own sandwich!

    • @nodeloliver6201
      @nodeloliver6201 Před 6 lety +4

      My mother sat me and my brother down at a table and told us how things worked. When we stood up, we'd aged 30 years or so. I still remember the nightmares.

  • @georgerobins4110
    @georgerobins4110 Před 7 lety +157

    "I've never seen... the Torah!"
    "That's not a movie. That's a holy book."

    • @partydave1067
      @partydave1067 Před 2 lety +1

      It can be made to a Game of Thrones/Vikings style of series....

  • @KataangFan221
    @KataangFan221 Před 8 lety +773

    Wait, so this whole time, a Jewish person has been telling me to get on a "Steam Train"...

  • @charlee2273
    @charlee2273 Před 7 lety +96

    "Ahh wish.... all da jews were GAHHHHN" "Danny? Danny where'd you go?! NOOOO!" That is absolutely my favourite part. Just... damnit, Dan. Damnit.

  • @DRaGoNThEBeSt60
    @DRaGoNThEBeSt60 Před 8 lety +819

    You thirsty?
    Have some Jewce

    • @DRaGoNThEBeSt60
      @DRaGoNThEBeSt60 Před 8 lety +4

      Inglorius Bastard! BEER Jew!

    • @RSD321KOOL
      @RSD321KOOL Před 8 lety +7

      Guys idk about you but imma go get some mountain jew!

    • @kilaha8399
      @kilaha8399 Před 7 lety +2

      I know that this is old but I happen to be drinking orange *jews*

    • @GoyBenius_0901
      @GoyBenius_0901 Před 6 lety +4

      Concentrated orange Jewce.

    • @AJPlays-sy1cz
      @AJPlays-sy1cz Před 6 lety

      Rishi Is Here wth bro

  • @kirbykinnie3691
    @kirbykinnie3691 Před 8 lety +165

    THE 'JEWISH' AT THE BEGINNING OH MY GOD IM GONE

  • @Roserae16
    @Roserae16 Před 7 lety +1048

    "I'm decent at carpentry" gets me every time xD

    • @pitioti
      @pitioti Před 6 lety +4

      Rae Prite nailed it 8"D

    • @smileyking3193
      @smileyking3193 Před 6 lety +5

      I finally got it when he mentioned Jesus XD

    • @OrangeSlices185
      @OrangeSlices185 Před 6 lety +2

      It took me a moment to get that.

    • @YTDeepshock
      @YTDeepshock Před 5 lety +6

      Christ, that was good.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 Před 5 lety +4

      I don’t think that’s very accurate. I’m going to need a cross-reference.

  • @TheWonderfulBlake
    @TheWonderfulBlake Před 9 lety +516

    The intro killed me.

  • @connorhein5532
    @connorhein5532 Před 8 lety +465

    Who actually paused to read the bio on Danny?

  • @toast3dplvm533
    @toast3dplvm533 Před 6 lety +56

    nobody is more obsessed about danny being jewish than danny himself

  • @BlackShadowUchiha
    @BlackShadowUchiha Před 7 lety +35

    "I've never seen the Torah" one of the best parts. What makes it better is that I was in my high school performance of Fiddler on the Roof and my friend who played the Rabbi kept opening his "torah" upside down during our actual performance.

  • @Scuro1000
    @Scuro1000 Před 9 lety +79

    Dan's Dadd's "Sex talk" is the 2nd best story I've heard on gamegrumps. Right after the D-club one.

  • @entr3_nou5
    @entr3_nou5 Před 8 lety +351

    Hey, did you hear the joke about the jewish man?
    Israel-y good.

    • @thequeerishere9662
      @thequeerishere9662 Před 5 lety +3

      I did nazi that one coming.

    • @Hotpink51
      @Hotpink51 Před 5 lety

      I would pay to hear Avi read this outloud

    • @n0vi
      @n0vi Před 4 lety

      Israel, more like "isn't real"

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan Před 4 lety +1

      Hotpink51 Hi dan! Did you hear the joke about the Jewish guy?
      Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

  • @bigbubbabonney8091
    @bigbubbabonney8091 Před 8 lety +791

    did anyone else pause the video and read the brefing about danny

    • @IsopodAqua
      @IsopodAqua Před 8 lety +1

      Yes

    • @yungbabymia5640
      @yungbabymia5640 Před 8 lety

      +Cole Garrett Nice profile picture, I like it.

    • @zebulia01
      @zebulia01 Před 8 lety

      +O.J. Shrimpson +Cole Garrett nice profile pics

    • @yungbabymia5640
      @yungbabymia5640 Před 8 lety

      +zebulia01 Thank you, kind sir/ma'am

    • @zebulia01
      @zebulia01 Před 8 lety

      +O.J. Shrimpson your welcome sir/ma'am btw your nice and considerate

  • @BlueJayPaints
    @BlueJayPaints Před 8 lety +132

    AND ABRAHAM SAID UNTO MOSES, "dude. bro. aliens."

  • @OurDisplayName
    @OurDisplayName Před 7 lety +190

    Lost it when he said "pizza bagels"! Thanks for making this!

  • @procrastinator99
    @procrastinator99 Před 8 lety +300

    HAY DAN, EEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................

    • @NaXEthan
      @NaXEthan Před 8 lety +19

      +procrastinator99 DO JEW KNO ABOWT SEX?

    • @procrastinator99
      @procrastinator99 Před 8 lety +20

      "Yes."

    • @NaXEthan
      @NaXEthan Před 8 lety +29

      procrastinator99 OKEH! *turns radio back on*

    • @Kiproll26
      @Kiproll26 Před 8 lety +5

      +procrastinator99 uh, more like Dayen. tsk!

  • @Kemonokami
    @Kemonokami Před 8 lety +238

    All bow before the world's sexiest Jew!

  • @AndrewBrannen
    @AndrewBrannen Před 8 lety +166

    I am so thankful for these compilation videos

  • @Ravioko
    @Ravioko Před 10 lety +297

    Dan's dad needs to be the next Guest Grump

    • @MudkidMudslap
      @MudkidMudslap Před 10 lety +55

      better yet Guest Gramps: featuring Avi and PapaRaptor

    • @PurplePandaClock
      @PurplePandaClock Před 10 lety +48

      Father's day special

    • @UnofficialJoker
      @UnofficialJoker Před 10 lety +8

      PurplePandaClock PEFECT

    • @KingGhidorah5464
      @KingGhidorah5464 Před 10 lety +30

      Paparaptor: Hey, I'm Gramp.
      Avi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'm not so Gramp.
      And we're the Guest Gramps!

    • @livingpie3065
      @livingpie3065 Před 10 lety +1

      ***** Wait, but doesn't Avi kinda want to stay out of Game Grumps? I'd doubt it.

  • @therocketqueenfi3874
    @therocketqueenfi3874 Před 9 lety +64

    "HEY IM GRUMP! AND IM jewish."

    • @wallapology898
      @wallapology898 Před 9 lety +2

      HEY, I'M GRUMP!
      I'M *Immediate silence* Jewish.

  • @stringcheeseofficial1977
    @stringcheeseofficial1977 Před 8 lety +194

    The fuckin pizza bagel thing always kills me

    • @EtaiShuster
      @EtaiShuster Před 8 lety

      +Colleen Millett I never understood what bagels have to do with Jewish people.

    • @rinalubit
      @rinalubit Před 8 lety

      Jews invented bagels
      You're welcome

    • @EtaiShuster
      @EtaiShuster Před 8 lety +1

      +Rina Lubit We did? I didn't even know. You welcome, world.

    • @rinalubit
      @rinalubit Před 8 lety

      yeppp

    • @EtaiShuster
      @EtaiShuster Před 8 lety

      Rina Lubit Awesome.

  • @movedchannelschecknewestvi8929

    "Pizza bagels"
    I *_died_*

    • @bonezilla4109
      @bonezilla4109 Před 8 lety

      Ike XD

    • @bonezilla4109
      @bonezilla4109 Před 8 lety

      +Bonezilla Ikr not Ike

    • @Redburg
      @Redburg Před 4 lety

      I'm a pizza bagel... more bagel than pizza, don't worry I thought it was hilarious.

  • @ConvictedHeart
    @ConvictedHeart Před 10 lety +22

    I have a friend who's Father is 100% German and who's mother is 100% Hebrew. I shit you not, he's the most internally conflicted person I've ever met. Can't make a decision to save his freakin life. He was complaining about it one day and I pointed out his heritage to him and he busted up laughing.

  • @PIKATHUNDER7
    @PIKATHUNDER7 Před 9 lety +370

    The swastika from Zelda 1 is not a nazi swastika it's actually a bhuddist swastika facing the opposite direction the bhuddist swastika is a good thing so ZELDA 1 IS NOT RACIST

    • @bentschirhart249
      @bentschirhart249 Před 9 lety +92

      That symbol is called a manji

    • @Volsati
      @Volsati Před 9 lety +24

      It could also be the japanese kanji for power (triforce, anyone?)

    • @PIKATHUNDER7
      @PIKATHUNDER7 Před 9 lety +2

      maybe idk thank you ben didnt know that

    • @TangFiend1
      @TangFiend1 Před 9 lety +16

      Japanese game designer - Bhuddist swastikas . . triforce . . illuminati totally confirmed.

    • @PIKATHUNDER7
      @PIKATHUNDER7 Před 9 lety +5

      XD its also a manji japenese symbol of power

  • @liamfunnyman6965
    @liamfunnyman6965 Před 8 lety +41

    Arin should get Danny to sing Weird Al's "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi."

  • @maychan7756
    @maychan7756 Před 7 lety +95

    I actually know the Hanukkah song Dan was singing. I'm not Jewish, but a girl in my choir is and my teacher thought it'd be nice to have us learn some of the songs since most of the songs we had been singing were Christmas songs XD

  • @CaylexT
    @CaylexT Před 8 lety +474

    Jewish people like... bagels...? I guess I need to brush up on my horribly racist stereotypes. Never stop learning™

    • @Zrbrcr
      @Zrbrcr Před 8 lety +39

      its not horribly racist, nor is it a stereotype, bagels are just important to the Jewish people

    • @perrydunetz882
      @perrydunetz882 Před 8 lety +29

      Not necessarily that we like them, but on all holiday gatherings other than Passover we have bagels for some reason

    • @baxter740
      @baxter740 Před 8 lety +7

      I personally don't know a fellow Jew who doesn't like bagels. Not to say they like them, but none of them have specifically told me they don't. All I can say is that I'm Jewish and I like bagels

    • @flarenimbus4444
      @flarenimbus4444 Před 8 lety +34

      I am not a Jew but really, who DOESN'T like bagels?

    • @Dragonwing16
      @Dragonwing16 Před 8 lety +25

      We made them. Every bite you took in a bagel, is a victory for the jews

  • @theinternetspacepirate3235
    @theinternetspacepirate3235 Před 7 lety +60

    Racist Bassist and Bummer Drummer made it into Tuber Simulator as a reference.

  • @TSFboi
    @TSFboi Před 5 lety +9

    My favourite addition to the Qumran Caves bit is that somebody changed the Wikipedia article to add "these caves were dug by Dan Avidan."

  • @WyoCoyote
    @WyoCoyote Před 8 lety +52

    I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER OMGGG

  • @imawinner2129
    @imawinner2129 Před 9 lety +692

    Is Hell real?
    Nope!

    • @aorra1530
      @aorra1530 Před 9 lety +25

      Are you relevant?
      Nope

    • @Kemonokami
      @Kemonokami Před 9 lety +11

      imawinner21 "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh nope!

    • @sagieay
      @sagieay Před 9 lety +2

      We do have hell in jewisem....? Well whatever we do have hell here xD

    • @spacetrenton
      @spacetrenton Před 9 lety +5

      +sag adiv
      *Judaism

    • @sagieay
      @sagieay Před 9 lety +1

      space trenton We believe in hell, thats all I had to say bro...

  • @azurabayta133
    @azurabayta133 Před 9 lety +5

    I'm taking a class this semester on Judaic history, and when we were talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls and Qumran, Danny's story about shoveling the caves was all I could think about.

  • @panjanvanohyras
    @panjanvanohyras Před 8 lety +92

    Thank jew for this compilation!

  • @Squarehaxorus
    @Squarehaxorus Před 8 lety +437

    Will we see a "Danny's Jewish Stories and Jokes #2"?

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 8 lety +19

      nope, sorry!

    • @Squarehaxorus
      @Squarehaxorus Před 8 lety +21

      Ella Shartiel Alright! Thanks for responding at least :D

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 8 lety +17

      +FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend hey no need to curse man

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 8 lety +17

      +FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend you are being silly now

    • @Pigmedog
      @Pigmedog Před 8 lety +6

      +FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend APPLY LIQUID NITROGEN TO THE BURNED AREA

  • @Nuggetlover96
    @Nuggetlover96 Před 10 lety +14

    "Dad do you want Pizza or Sushi tonight?" "YES" "oh good" XD

  • @Barsaviak
    @Barsaviak Před 7 lety +25

    still my comfort vid

  • @madiburgsfx7194
    @madiburgsfx7194 Před 8 lety +212

    As a jew I find this very relatable and funny

  • @Zerpderp0
    @Zerpderp0 Před 8 lety +67

    Danny's dad is Tommy Wiesou

    • @Octopetala
      @Octopetala Před 8 lety +17

      OH HI DANNY

    • @DieWorm
      @DieWorm Před 8 lety +11

      +Zerpderp0 YOOR TAAAERING ME APART DANNEHH!

    • @zombiemonkey5094
      @zombiemonkey5094 Před 8 lety +5

      OH HAI DAYAN

    • @Octopetala
      @Octopetala Před 8 lety +3

      I did nyat hit her thees is buulshiet i did NYAAT.
      Oh hi Mark.

  • @hubblabla
    @hubblabla Před 9 lety +90

    "And I'm decent at carpentry" XD

    • @davesmilingcoyote
      @davesmilingcoyote Před 9 lety

      Martini shake That cracked me up!

    • @staggerblade
      @staggerblade Před 7 lety

      Your pic just makes it look like you are thinking about what you did in your lifetime

  • @howdyouknow
    @howdyouknow Před 9 lety +10

    Two Jewish mothers are talking one day, and one asks the other how things are going. She replies, "Oi, I have tsores and naches..." (The Yiddish words for "sorrow/trouble" and "joy/pride") The first one then asks, "what's the trouble?" and the second replies, "My son... I found out he's gay..." The first mother then asks, "well, what's the joy?"
    "I find out he's dating a doctor!"

  • @abyazkarim6755
    @abyazkarim6755 Před 8 lety +415

    A swastika? I did nazi that coming.

    • @thesaddesthuman2954
      @thesaddesthuman2954 Před 8 lety +13

      get out

    • @dylankey_
      @dylankey_ Před 7 lety +35

      yeah nazi jokes arent funny anne frankley we need to stop

    • @abyazkarim6755
      @abyazkarim6755 Před 7 lety +25

      You're seriously stalin' over here.

    • @HomoSeal
      @HomoSeal Před 7 lety +29

      Nazi jokes aren't for everyone, but they're Reich up my alley ;D

    • @abyazkarim6755
      @abyazkarim6755 Před 7 lety +20

      They just need a bit more concentration.

  • @the-thane
    @the-thane Před 7 lety +57

    The song singing is too relatable.

    • @arzi1233
      @arzi1233 Před 7 lety

      אבהו דלשר I agree 100%

    • @junklex
      @junklex Před 7 lety +4

      In Tefillah in middle school, pretty much the only thing we knew we were saying was barukh atah adonai lmao אבהו דלשר

    • @kingdenton6451
      @kingdenton6451 Před 7 lety

      AllyGal1231 I relate to this on a spiritual level.

    • @glitchygutz
      @glitchygutz Před 6 lety

      Yep. Just sing the lines you know and trail off, that’s what I always do.
      Ma otzur yeshuati, lechan..a e blah bloo blech blee blorg...

    • @jennah3862
      @jennah3862 Před 6 lety

      I'm not Jewish but I remember that song from singing it in chorus

  • @femoman
    @femoman Před 10 lety +26

    Am I the only one who finds Yiddish/sterotypical Jewish accents just inherently hilarious? Just something about the inflection way it sounds cracks me up every time.

    • @pennyfarting
      @pennyfarting Před 10 lety +9

      You're not the only one. I was in a rather serious play once where I had to play a Jewish immigrant, and agonized for weeks trying find ways to tone the accent down so my character didn't come off as unintentionally hilarious or stereotypical. The accent is just inherently like that.

    • @AWeller92
      @AWeller92 Před 10 lety +1

      you are watching a video about jewish jokes

  • @THESHADOWMASTER9
    @THESHADOWMASTER9 Před 8 lety +229

    Danny is Jesus. Confirmed.

  • @acherem13
    @acherem13 Před 8 lety +6

    At 8:05 when he said "I'm wrecking shop" I was totally expecting him to follow up with "It's feels like Kristallnacht all over again"

  • @Troopertroll
    @Troopertroll Před 10 lety +7

    Oh man, you have to have a part 2 to this. There's so much great stuff he's said, like when he talked about someone editing the Qumran Caves wiki page to say that Danny carved them XD

  • @XsvruploaderX
    @XsvruploaderX Před 9 lety +170

    Yo we need two of every animal on this ship.
    Don't worry I Noah guy

  • @FireofthetigerYT
    @FireofthetigerYT Před 7 lety +3

    "I wish... THAT ALL THE JEWS WERE GONE!!
    ...Danny? DANNY NOOO!!!"
    Best one

  • @stevend285
    @stevend285 Před 8 lety +128

    Christianity is basically just Jewish fanfiction.

    • @chexlemeneux3484
      @chexlemeneux3484 Před 8 lety +13

      +Kwittycat D. It's all garbage. All Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) are based or rather stolen from ancient Mesopotamian (Sumerian, Babylonian, Assyrian, Canaanite, Akkadian) pagan religions. The book of genesis is a carbon copy of the Enuma Elish babylonian tablets, Noah's Ark and the Deluge, Adam and Eve...everything stolen (with some minor changes). Even the Hebrew word for God ''Elohim'' comes from the Ugaritic word ''El'', the creator God and chief deity of the Canaanite pantheon (also known as Elohim).

    • @stevend285
      @stevend285 Před 8 lety +29

      That's quite interesting, who knew that you could learn something other than racist and sexist slurs in CZcams comments

    • @jessicajayes8326
      @jessicajayes8326 Před 6 lety +2

      Well, Jesus was born and raised as a Jew.

    • @Daelyah
      @Daelyah Před 5 lety +1

      @@chexlemeneux3484 I wish my mobile phone could copy and paste; that way, I could save that info for later personal research. Would love to look up ancient religions; at the least to get inspiration for my stories.

    • @imperator5228
      @imperator5228 Před 5 lety

      @@chexlemeneux3484 So you're saying Jews just stole and raped to invent their religion, basically? Cuz framing it as a giant lie is what scum do, especially given the Babylonian exile and exodus.

  • @mattlowder
    @mattlowder Před 9 lety +27

    this was all far more funny and interesting than i thought it was going to be when i clicked on it.

  • @MegaBubbleGamer1
    @MegaBubbleGamer1 Před 9 lety +106

    9:28
    "I wish..... ALL THE JEWS WERE GONE!"
    .....
    "DANNY?!"

    • @mightymads7109
      @mightymads7109 Před 9 lety +3

      Sex-Bang 2013!

    • @daboring1
      @daboring1 Před 9 lety

      thats bloody rasict

    • @nightrain3339
      @nightrain3339 Před 9 lety +3

      ronthebro1 thats bloody quoting

    • @Kemonokami
      @Kemonokami Před 9 lety

      I'm imagining Danny having blown up into a giant puff of steam. XD

    • @Jordan3DS
      @Jordan3DS Před 9 lety +2

      I heard him say "I wish all the Jews were God!"

  • @taylorcarson8893
    @taylorcarson8893 Před 8 lety +24

    "I have to go take a shower" me: oooohhhhh noooo

    • @AllyOJustice
      @AllyOJustice Před 5 lety

      Taylor Carson way to go Joseph Joestar.

  • @jonutsthedanklordpayton
    @jonutsthedanklordpayton Před 3 lety +4

    As a ashkenazi that never grew up in the Jewish faith I find all of this funny.

  • @strongside4565
    @strongside4565 Před 9 lety +58

    Danny's build is skinny but muscular? What? He's like 160lbs and a complete stringbean.

    • @WolfHunner
      @WolfHunner Před 9 lety +2

      +Randy “Macho Man” Savage He's a vanilla midget

    • @AmethystASTeRReisYALL
      @AmethystASTeRReisYALL Před 8 lety

      +HighLevi He's over 6 feet.

    • @TheMilwaukeeProtocol
      @TheMilwaukeeProtocol Před 8 lety +1

      +Randy “Macho Man” Savage That's how men are, though. They can have no visible muscle mass but still lift a car. I hate it.

    • @strongside4565
      @strongside4565 Před 8 lety +3

      Pyagrl*16 I don't know what you are talking about. Have you seen strongmen that lift cars? They are 400 lbs mountains of muscle. Danny would get blown over by a stiff breeze.

    • @TheMilwaukeeProtocol
      @TheMilwaukeeProtocol Před 8 lety +1

      Randy Savage I was exaggerating. But if you don't believe me about the gender difference in muscle mass-to-power output ratio, then read the abstract to this article: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8477683

  • @ZeusRei
    @ZeusRei Před 9 lety +13

    3 seconds in. Already dying of laughter

  • @matildafermin3018
    @matildafermin3018 Před 6 lety +2

    "Well I've never seen The Tora"
    "But that's not a movie, that's a holy book."

  • @hipsterkat7702
    @hipsterkat7702 Před 8 lety +33

    I ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A CRUSH ON JEWISH PEOPLE OH

  • @zeldatrash7308
    @zeldatrash7308 Před 7 lety +14

    about dans dad just saying 'yes' to multiple answer questions one time I was in algebra and there was a answer where you have to explain and I just wrote 'yes'

  • @tottythetwink6189
    @tottythetwink6189 Před 8 lety +69

    Hey I'm grump
    I'm Jewish

    • @wowwoah6392
      @wowwoah6392 Před 8 lety +2

      And we're the Game Grumps!
      (Btw your comment is so Jewd)

  • @mistvillage171
    @mistvillage171 Před 8 lety +83

    I would love to see a gamegrumps vid with all the grumps parents 😂

    • @marquardtle
      @marquardtle Před 8 lety +8

      Mostly dans dad

    • @robnojob8101
      @robnojob8101 Před 8 lety +7

      Father's Day 2017 should be Dad Grumps Day with Arin's dad and Dan's dad doing the main show and Barry's dad and Ross's dad on Steam Train duty.

    • @caspianhorlick4529
      @caspianhorlick4529 Před 7 lety +11

      You mean the grump's parEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHnts

  • @alfd11
    @alfd11 Před 3 lety +5

    5:55 I wish that Arin would've responded with "I've never seen Tora! Tora! Tora!" Danny would've lost it lol

  • @brutalbunny
    @brutalbunny Před 8 lety +40

    jesus christ.
    earlier today i was watching this w/ my mom in the room and she looks over and says, "oh yeah! i forgot to tell you, apparently we're jewish." thanks ancestry.com + also danny sexbang :^)

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 8 lety +4

      why jesus christ then

    • @SuperFranzs
      @SuperFranzs Před 8 lety +9

      +Ella Shartiel he was a Jew....

    • @chickenpermission4909
      @chickenpermission4909 Před 8 lety +1

      +Kim André Moen Bjørkede jews dont believe in jesus DUH XD

    • @SuperFranzs
      @SuperFranzs Před 8 lety +3

      jaxheadlines _ They do, but they think he was just a nice dude.

    • @glitchygutz
      @glitchygutz Před 6 lety

      Ella Shartiel
      We don’t believe in him but we can still use his name as an exclamation.

  • @voldlifilm
    @voldlifilm Před 9 lety +6

    I love this. Jews used to be some bunch of people in the middle east to me. Now they're Danny's people. I like Danny. By extension, I like his people.

  • @brady_boi
    @brady_boi Před 7 lety +3

    for some reason I wasn't expecting the intro to say "Jewish" and I lost it.

  • @dubu9881
    @dubu9881 Před 6 lety +2

    I died laughing when Ross said “I have to go take a shower WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.” Dan’s reaction was fucking priceless.

  • @unknowncreature-0069
    @unknowncreature-0069 Před 7 lety +50

    Actually that's not a swastika, it's a manji which is a Buddhist symbol of good fortune

    • @imperator5228
      @imperator5228 Před 5 lety +2

      Still a swastika, just not Nazi.

    • @fine-n-dandy
      @fine-n-dandy Před 5 lety

      @@imperator5228 It's not a Swastika. A swastika is a hate symbol which this is not.

    • @petermarsella6537
      @petermarsella6537 Před 4 lety +7

      @@fine-n-dandy I hate to be the "but actually" guy, but actually swastika is the correct name. It comes from Sanskrit "svastika-s" meaning "being fortunate"

    • @fine-n-dandy
      @fine-n-dandy Před 4 lety +2

      @@petermarsella6537 Ahh, my apologies. Thank you for fact checking me

  • @forgetfuldullahan5468
    @forgetfuldullahan5468 Před 9 lety +10

    We need his weed stories next.

  • @digimontydigimonty2116
    @digimontydigimonty2116 Před 8 lety +33

    תודה למי שהכין את זה, זה ענה לי על מלא שאלות לגבי דני כגון האם הוא באמת יהודי וזה לא בדיחה פנימית שפספסתי איפשהו

  • @mrmd9324
    @mrmd9324 Před 7 lety +10

    I'm Jewish And I can relate to almost all of this.

  • @Applesgosh
    @Applesgosh Před 10 lety +35

    Holy shit that intro.

  • @Fonetix710
    @Fonetix710 Před 9 lety +3

    I love this video! I watch it anytime i need a pick-me-up and its the best thing ever! Thanks!!!

  • @Keyboardkat3
    @Keyboardkat3 Před 8 lety +22

    If dan was a time traveler, we could call him Doctor Jew.

  • @HeadsetGuy
    @HeadsetGuy Před 8 lety +3

    "That's not a movie, that's a Holy Book."

  • @lululuvscats
    @lululuvscats Před 9 lety +2

    "Aren't Jew glad you're not Jewish?"
    I feel so bad for laughing XD

  • @Kid-Swippler
    @Kid-Swippler Před 9 lety +11

    I feel like some of these could be future South Park jokes.

  • @autumnsprite
    @autumnsprite Před 8 lety +2

    "Hey I'm Grump
    I'm- [Jewish]"
    Gosh dangit I already lost it

  • @444Nightshade
    @444Nightshade Před 8 lety +150

    Ever try orange jewce? 100% concentrated

  • @Kunio
    @Kunio Před 9 lety +869

    Jewish jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do nazi the point of them.

  • @comradeclown3403
    @comradeclown3403 Před 9 lety +34

    DANNY IS A SEXY, JEWISH MAN! I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON DANNY!

  • @clockworkrobot6437
    @clockworkrobot6437 Před 8 lety

    This is the most beautiful thing ive seen all year

  • @carlaxed
    @carlaxed Před 8 lety +23

    I'm glad Danny isn't one of those people to defend their religion like it's cake. He can makes jokes about being Jewish and laughs at the other's Jewish jokes without beating the crap out of them.

    • @petermarsella6537
      @petermarsella6537 Před 4 lety +8

      And then if someone says something that's too offensive, he doesn't get mad, just lets them know that it wasn't funny

    • @mammamiaculpa
      @mammamiaculpa Před 2 lety +3

      after all, jews famously do not make jokes about jewishness ever

  • @lungtail
    @lungtail Před 10 lety +52

    DAN'S HAIR HOLY SHIT

    • @ToastedWafflez
      @ToastedWafflez Před 10 lety +9

      It's like candy floss!

    • @lungtail
      @lungtail Před 10 lety +14

      It is. I don't want him to get a new haircut though, this one looks hella cute.

    • @sugarbun9036
      @sugarbun9036 Před 10 lety +2

      Does foreskin act the same way as his hair?

    • @Piematt1337
      @Piematt1337 Před 9 lety

      Let'sPlaySomeGames He doesn't have foreskin, he's Jewish.

  • @tarrker
    @tarrker Před 9 lety +55

    I WONDER IF MAYBE HE'S JEWISH!??!?!?

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 9 lety +5

      nah, I don't think so

    • @kaylaburney3789
      @kaylaburney3789 Před 9 lety

      Of course he isn't, what would make you think that?

    • @22Famine22
      @22Famine22 Před 9 lety

      I thought Danny's Jewish Stories would be about him being Jewish but I watched the whole video and I'm still confused, maybe he just knows a guy and was talking about everything hypothetically.

    • @john_titor1
      @john_titor1 Před 9 lety

      22Famine22 He is quite obviously jewish....

  • @volcryndarkstar
    @volcryndarkstar Před 4 lety +2

    "Hey I'm Grump? I'm *jewish.* And we're the Game Grumps!" Well, this is off to a fantastic start. Now I'll watch the rest of the video.

  • @mags6784
    @mags6784 Před 8 lety +10

    "and I am decent at carpentry"
    ...
    ..
    *dies*

  • @lakamokolaka
    @lakamokolaka Před 9 lety +7

    Holy shit I am a pizza bagel, thanks Danny for making me realize my new found heritage of pizza bagels

  • @ToastCrossDimensions
    @ToastCrossDimensions Před 10 lety +42

    Wow, I just realized a connection between me and Danny. I am a half-Jew named Dan

    • @PyroJiro
      @PyroJiro Před 10 lety +28

      Dude, real talk? Thats like a Total Cross of Dimensions

    • @Wazzok1
      @Wazzok1 Před 10 lety

      "Half-Jew"?

    • @ToastCrossDimensions
      @ToastCrossDimensions Před 10 lety

      Like one parent is Jewish. I know that both of his parents are Jewish though.

    • @ToastCrossDimensions
      @ToastCrossDimensions Před 10 lety

      Really? I thought he said she was... Oops, sorry.

    • @Wazzok1
      @Wazzok1 Před 10 lety

      ***** Yes, she is. He mentions it all the time.

  • @aidanwilson2389
    @aidanwilson2389 Před 8 lety +3

    Around 6 in. "That's not a movie. That's a holy book."

  • @AudreyGalaxy
    @AudreyGalaxy Před 8 lety +13

    Danny's so cool, I wish he were Jewish like me...

  • @amorgan310
    @amorgan310 Před 9 lety +4

    I'm a practicing Jew and I greatly approve of this!
    Thanks so much for posting/compiling this! I am subbing!

    • @EllaShartiel
      @EllaShartiel  Před 9 lety +2

      thanks! i'm glad you liked it!
      although most of my videos are nothing like this one, i feel like i'm disappointing hundreds of new subs, but this kind of videos take so much more time to make! you can unsubscribe if you get bored of my regular videos. i totally did not expect this much positive reaction to this video, it's almost too much!

    • @SigurdKristvik
      @SigurdKristvik Před 9 lety +2

      Ella Shartiel No worries we just clicked a button. You don't have to apologize :)

    • @mysteryman7766
      @mysteryman7766 Před 9 lety

      Ariel, have you had your Mitzvah yet? If so, what is your parsha? If not, do you know what it will be? Also, that is a *very* jewish name, Ariel :) I couldn't tell at all that you're Jewish as well without reading the comment itself ;)

    • @amorgan310
      @amorgan310 Před 9 lety

      Mystery Man en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Va%27eira
      My BM was Jan 7th 2005.
      Ariel Yaakov is my full name

    • @mysteryman7766
      @mysteryman7766 Před 9 lety +1

      Ariel Morgan You know whats funny? First off, my mitzvah was October 19th, 2013 and my parsha was Vayera. In fact, when I first started learning my parsha we got sent a book for Vaeira rather than Vayera.