"BAD" JOKES
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2019
- No jokes are bad. All jokes are accepted. No laughs below the belt. No holds barred.
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#gaming #jokes #comedy - Hry
My "go to" bad joke at the moment is; you'd think removing a snail's shell would make it quicker, but it just makes it more sluggish.
I'm taking this one XD
*_*slow applause*_*
Because it's dead.
Any new ones?
Well done slugger
My ex-wife still misses me
*_bUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER_*
*HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER*
"You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible."
@@Leon.Hickey
Reminds me of married with children
"Did you miss me?"
"With every bullet so far"
Morrigan BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER
"I can levitate birds but nobody cares" is one of my favorites
I woke up today and folded my bed back into a couch...
almostbrokebothmyarmsbecauseitsnotthatkindofbed
I bought some instant water, but I don't know what to add.
Mine is “what if Bigfoot, himself, is just blurry”
"god you're handsome."
"I know, thank you. and i will not return a compliment."
Are you by any chance from jojo
Sage i don't think so, other me.
Does that make him Arin Hansonme?
I know. You're welcome.
I don't get it
*BUT THE RECEPTION WAS I N C R E D I B L E*
@Art Squabbles Oh hi, Appolo Justice.
BUT DONT S T A R T ANYTHING
*DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU?*
if we can keep this going that'd be awesome
A DISLEXIC MAN WALKS INTO A BRA
*I KNOW, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS*
Arin: "Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One fish turned to the other and said, 'Dam!'"
*Long Pause*
Dan: *D I E S*
I still didnt get it
Carlos herrera “Dam” = “damn”
the ran into a dam
Where is that in the video
@@Typos. the begining
17:43
Arin: "You know the only reason I come here is because the drinks are free."
Dan: "..."
Arin: "... I'll be here all night"
That joke is actually genius.
I do not get it
Don't get it
ITS FRED
LMAO
For the ones who dont get it, hes lonely, and since the drinks are free, hes staying all night drinking
I'm still waiting for them to use the "small medium at large" joke regarding Maya in Phoenix Wright.
Edit: THEY DID IT!!!! FINALLY!!!
What if she shopped in France while channeling Mia? A large medium in ze mall.
RanMouri82 There we go!
They did it twice
"a dyslexic man walks into a bra" is my favorite stupid joke ever
oh holy crap it's me
@@floofy2453 i was me first, go get your own me
@@Slashscreen *starts singing "Be Your Own You" from The Amazing World of Gumball*
Mine is "an Irish man walks out of a bar"
It's my favorite one line joke!
My favorite joke ever is from a highlights magazine i read when i was 8
"What did scientists know when they found bones on the Moon?"
"The cow didn't make it."
"WhAt d0 yOu CalL a FiSh witH no EWE's"
I still find that reference absolutely hilarious.
YESSSSSSSSS!
A *FSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
im S O R R Y OKAY?!
69th like. Excellent reference, Greenking.
Arin: "What's red and green and smells like [CENSORED]?"
Danny: "What?"
My CZcams feed: cuts to a Taco Bell ad
Mine cuts to wawa
Mine cut to DoorDash 🤣🤣
me thinks the algorithm gods are sending vague warnings
@@ethangleason8357 mine cut to skip the dishes
mine cut to a megan thee stallion ad 😭
"Honey bunches of oaths"
"They're shaped like betrayal"
B e t r a i l m i x
"Dude... just... Pity laugh, at least." The first time I heard that made me laugh so much. It still does actually.
and Dan's version of that at 19:55. Jesus Christ, they have such amazing saves when their absolutely shitty jokes fall on their faces.
56:12 for anyone wondering abt the timestamp XD
Houdini has
One who
Okay one
Houdini has always had
better
be
JHey jjhas has
to lol poo
Mustafa Farah r/IHadAStroke
A cat walks into a doctor's office.
The doctor asks, "What's wrong?"
The cat says, "Meow."
The doctor replies:
"I know, but where?"
Goddamnit
I laughed
The cat says, "In my Purrostate."
@@musicmanvincent3703 No, you made my bad joke into a mediocre one...
@@tonystark106422 I know😅
19:49
when Dan did the "Hello, is this thing on?" I died
I laughed so hard at that that I choked
Two cows are in a field
The first one says “Moo”
The second one says
“Damn, I was just going to say that!”
Deja moo
@@galladegamer3579 the feeling you’ve heard this bull before
I was going to say this was an asdf joke, but that was with ducks.
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer today, I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Pff-
Oh my god-
*TRIPPING ALL DAY, KAAAAAARRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLL*
That joke works on more levels than it should
aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This is terrible and I love it
"An Irishman walks out of a bar."
It will always be one of my most favourtie lines from Finn.
Why did I laugh reading this??
*pause………
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
My absolute favorite in this entire thing is just the comic timing of 1:01:07
"I think a good piece of therapy would be to... umm..."
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!*
"... The fuck was that?"
Best joke never written.
"Didja hear that scream?!"
...
"GYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGGGGHHH"
8:01
i told my mom that peanut joke a while back when the episode first came out, and too this day, she still brings it up. it made her so happy, thanks grumps for making my mom happy!
Awww
That's so sweet
tbh i tell that one to people all the time too 😅😅😅
That five second pause before Danny gets the "DAM!" joke is priceless
I’m pretty sure he got it immediately and was trying not to laugh
@@Knitesage Pretty sure it doesn’t matter
Wait when was this?
@@drakeisacake 2:58
@@Knitesage Entirely possible of course, but I'm going by him saying he was only half paying attention so it took a few seconds to register :)
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please."
Love this!
And here I was trying to figure out how II was 5
don’t get it
@@game-enjoyer13 a 2 on your hands makes a V and V in Roman numerals is 5.
TNS Gaming oh shit XD
I just watched the movie _San Andreas._
It had a few faults!
This is underrated.
I just _knew_ it was all her fault!
We play GTA San Andreas in this home. If you came to watch the movie, well....
YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!
Richter? I barely knew her!
YO. FUCKIN SPEEDY EGGBERT. I HAVENT PLAYED THAT SHIT SINCE I WAS A KID, THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF IT
Getting dan to say what is up dog is still the best moment in grumps history
Ewe
PLEASE LEAVE THIS AT 69 LIKES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. This is the best comment.
I gotta admit it’s really weird listening to this and not hearing the word “DRUMP” in between jokes lol
RIGHT!?!
Drump?
Still love that DRUMP video, though.
Idk bout u but I still hear it out of nerve reaction.
So that was what was missing, I thought it sounded off...
I love how aggressive their delivery is
it's not digiorno
ITS NOT DIGIORNO
Its not Digiorno
It's not Delissio.
And I'm not Canadian.
they sound like gilbert gottfried
the grumps introduced me to stephen wright and i am eternally grateful bc he’s funny as hell
“i once played poker with a tarot deck. i got a full house and four people died.”
“And god said come forth John and receive eternal life, but he came fifth and won a toaster”
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This killed me
I love how this is an HOUR-LONG
they have enough bad jokes for an hour-long compilation
amazing
They have enough for a 7 year compilation.
Best part is this is probably a severely abridged version lol
Just wait until the Spantzz comp comes out
and most top comments are copy-paste from the first 15 minutes lol
Well, these are the *intentionally* bad jokes.
If it was every bad joke, the video would stretch past the great heat death of the universe.
My fave was Arin's bad Wind Waker joke, and Danny said "Barry, throw some crickets in there."
...And then literal crickets were thrown across the screen.
You really broke wind with that one, I thought you’d breeze through that joke but it blows.
18:07
@@LeudieBlues I tried to catch your meaning, but I mist.
Why do you know how to spell "thrown" but not "throw"?
@@andrewstoner2032 because i do and this is an old ass typo.
Just as I'm watching this video, I look in my recommended and I unironically see: *Phoenix Wright 22 - Small Medium at Large*
*I'm scared*
Same, but in reverse
This one got a few laughs from my peers
"What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college? Bison"
THAT JOKE TRIGGERED THE HUMOUR RESPONSE OF SEVERAL OF MY HUMAN FRIENDS AS WELL BUT ONLY WHEN TRANSMITTED VIA ELECTRONIC MESSAGING. ARE YOU SURE IT SHOULD BE SHOUTED, LIKE YOU TYPED IT? I'VE RUN A DIAGNOSTIC ON MY COMEDIC TIMING CHIP AND IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING OPTIMALLY SO THE ISSUE MAY BE ON YOUR END.
@@SeekerGoldstone”I stood up and screamed it”
The updog bit will forever be one of my favorites, especially the animated version of it
I don't get it
@@senajabeen1076 updog. y'know, updog.
Yo you have a beautiful profile pic
By pookie?
@@senajabeen1076 The joke is that you're supposed to get the other person to ask "What's Updog?" Which is like someone asking you, "What's Up, Dawg?" In response you say, "nothing much, what's up with you" but Arin devolved into pure ectasy
Which side of a cat has the most fur?
The outside.
I don't know, hairless cats can still get hairballs.
Roxas1314 hdmekxs
@@starlight4649 are you implying that cats produce their own hairballs inside their body
@@booty_hunter4207 no, just hairy balls
This wedding is so emotional, even the cake is in tiers.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything, he ain't coming
A weenie dog (cuz weenies/hot dogs have no legs)
:(
That's sad
Jeff Dunham: Achmed, That's like the oldest joke in the book.
Achmed: I know, but in my case, it was true...
@@TheKreature13666 Achmed the Islamophobic Standup Routine
The Goonies updog bit gets me every time because Arin goes full Michael Scott
Could you explain that joke I didn't understand it
@@senajabeen1076 its just updog
What’s updog
@@lucasgriffith6117 Not much how about you?
Gotcha!
"In communist russia you're good at super mario 64-"
"hahahahahAHAHAHAHAHA DAN"
25:07 🤣
VOTE OF CONFIDENCE ACCEPTED AND APPRECIATED
*D A N .*
O
"what's red and green and smells like shit?" **Perfectly ques ad break**
15:02 - danny's little "what is updog?" is so pure. that is all, continue.
Why do they sound like Gruncle Stan from Graviy Falls?
Arin is grunkle Stan that’s why
Nothing wrong with that.
"BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"
Rain Bigsby I love that scene the first time I watched that episode I couldn’t stop laughing
Rain Bigsby you see it’s funny because marriage is terrible
I knew kirby's epic yarn part 25 would be here
Rando Dando and first no less! As it should be!!
It’s literally the “bad joke” episode,it’d be a crime to not have it in here
two cannibals are eating a clown.... One says to the other-'
"*DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU?! *"
I read this as it happened
The first time i heard that joke i died
Danny: That's Bellsprout?!?
Me: Be careful who you make fun of in middle school.
Arin is married
Has spent time with a 14 yo
And love Dad jokes...
All he needs to do now is sneeze with the bottom of his lungs that makes his back hurt, and he's set!
He’s worn socks with flip flops before, I believe that’s enough to qualify him as a dad by now.
That's it! The internet has a new dad now!
Wait I do that
@@okami-rose803 well then I guess you're a dad now
@@okami-rose803 Oh, shit. Didn't expect to have a son now, did you?
YES. The anti jokes segment has always been my favorite lol my girlfriend and I still quote these to each other
Sounds like a good life
fool girls aren't real they're a scam made by makeup companies to sell more makeup
I text the anti-jokes to my friends on a regular basis with no context
@@houdini9739 immediately followed by *sorry wrong person* In the true game grumps fashion.
Trasher oh no sorry wrong person is a completely different gag. I’ll text them about how I think they’re a little bitch or something and then say sorry wrong number
The fact that they have bad jokes enough for an hour long compilation both amazes and baffles me.
dan's adorably innocent "what is updog?" kills me
Arin tricking dan into saying what is up dog is still one of the funniest moments ever
...
*What is updog*
15:01 "what is updog?" oh yessssssssssssss the fabled updog joke
"WELL AREN'T YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF"
1:00:37 “He wasn’t a carver, he invented peanut butter” 🤣
I have no idea why that got me the way it did
"I think a good piece of therapy would be to umm-"
*"GHYEEEEEEAAAAAARGH"*
That "Air-ees what I breathe" moment just killed me. I've heard it before, but god damn I just wasn't expecting it this time. Holy shit was that funny
The joke wasn’t much, but the delivery was incredible!
Time?
@@TheTwentySevenClub Time is a concept we have to mark temporal intervals.
When Dan said "Last one." at 3:49, I looked back and moved my mouse to reveal that the video was an hour long.
Last one indeed, Daniel.
I love how the comments are references, laughter, and then just more jokes.
What do you call a mercenary that uses a spear .
A freelancer
I-
I mean, technically speaking a lance & a spear are 2 different weapons, so if you want freelancer go be your punchline, the joke should be something along the lines of...
What do you call a jouster for hire? A freelancer.
this is one of the longest compilations I've ever seen they've made so many bad jokes
and theyre all hilarious
I would argue that they've made very few good jokes lol
their singing comp runs nearly 3 hours. and ive seen game grump comps anywhere from 8-12 hours long. game grumps fans are wild
You clearly haven't seen any compilations by "game grumps compilations". pretty much all of them are like 2 hours
Proof that Arin's and Dan's improv makes even the worst jokes hilarious ♡
Nothing is more pure to me than Arin laughing at having made Dan ask "What is UpDog?"
What do you call an irishman who is always sitting on his porch?
*Paddy O'Furniture*
The "small medium at large" joke was in the pun joke book Ellie reads in the last of us lol
What do you call a belt with a watch on it,
A waste of time.....
I'll see myself out
nice one
@LuckyBearBassist If he suffocates on his own tongue, he'll know the TASTE of defeat.
Josh Have you ever eaten a watch? It’s time-consuming.
I had an out of body experience the other day. I was beside myself
*waist
fun fact: this is my favorite compilation to listen to as sleep aid; it doesn’t require too much brainpower, but just enough to give my mind something to do
I'm here because Joke Yoda's response to Dan of "That was a good one, but the delivery could use a little something" is the funniest damn thing he said, and that line isn't used in any of the animations.
i tell that antenna joke as often as i can
Same! Whenever i start a sentence with "Two antennas..." I can hear my brother sigh across the room
Same
Here’s a joke:
Two girls walked into a bar.
yOuD tHiNk OnE oF tHeM wOuLdVe sEeN iT
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHJAHAHA
that took me way too long to understand lmao
Can you explain please
crazy tornadoe walking into a bar, like walking INTO a building. Like crashing into it because you weren’t paying attention
OH MY GOD THAT'S HILARIOUS
Me: brushing my teeth while watching this video
Danny: "what is updog?"
Me laughs so hard that I accidentally push the brush way too far into the back of mouth so I choke
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What happens when Batman and Robin face a steamroller?
They become Flatman and Ribbon.
Bad jokes? So basically the entirety of the Joke Yoda bit from Mario Maker?
FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Jooooooooke
WHAT IS A SITH LORD'S FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP?
DARTH MAUL
FUNNYYYYYYYY JOKE!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
DannoHung I can Beat beat MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
18:06 "Barry throw in some crickets." My favorite part
Who is the greatest chicken-killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth, because he did murder most foul!
More like MCbeth
Im so glad i read Macbeth just like... last month so i understand it lmao
Ahhh nice to see another
regular episode
Ok
@@BrainhasPain ok
MmmmmmmMMMMMMMmmm... *FUNNY JOKE*
Want more regular? Eat more Wendy's!
I don't get it. I watched the whole thing and didn't hear a single bad joke
Bad: I saw a couple holding hands while jogging together. It made hopeful that one day I could meet someone who I can hate them together with.
There, now you have a "single bad joke"
All of us who watched it were the bad joke.
Congratulations! You're deaf!
Great comment, Dad.
Because all the jokes were married
30:36 Danny becomes his dad LMAO
7:43
“Aries what I breathe.”
Thank you, Arin.
“What is he, Jack and the Beanstalk?”
Reminds me of that line from Dear Evan Hansen, “You fell out of a tree? What are you, an acorn?”
Of all the things i expected, DEH was not one of them.
But how did you condense every episode from the last seven years into a single compilation?
Selecko This is part one of many..
No one:
Nobody:
Not a Soul:
Dan: ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᵘᵖᵈᵒᵍᵍ?
21:39
My favorite part of this is that randomly inserting pokemon/pokemon moves names into conversation is actually the calibre of humor in Sword and Shield.
As in that's what they actually do in the games.
Because Gamefreak knows trying is optional.
Game Grumps, a comedy CZcams channel: Posts video on Bad Jokes.
Video length: over one hour.
Outstanding move
why does micheal j fox make the best milkshakes?
because he has Parkinson's?
*no, because he uses the finest ingredients*
Why is Hellen Keller such a bad driver?
Because she's blind?
Uhhhh she's dead.
That Shovel Knight episode is great
I bought a joke on Amazon.
I've heard better
*But the delivery was incredible*
I was gonna make a collection of steak jokes, but those are a rare medium well done.
*Deja-Moo* : _The feeling that you've heard this bull before._
I’m going thru a really bad break up. So grateful for these boys for making me smile.
You don't need that clown.
Apparently you need a bigger, scarier clown.
A fire fighter gets called into a bar and asks the bartender "what's the problem?"
The bartender says "Oh thank god you're here! The drinks are on the house and we can't get'em down!"
"whats red, green and smells like shit?"
CZcams immediately cutting to an ad: "GROUND BEEF"
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Blind.
Nah, it's a *FSH* !
I came to this video almost immediatley after it released and there was a dislike. If they don't like the video, why did they come here before me...
Cause they don't have a life and fill the empty void by being trolls
@@spooky_moron Sad. Truly, just sad.
People have also been saying (I think I saw 2?) who said they disliked it because it isn't "bad'" so that could also be the case
It's probably bots. I don't know why.
DISCLAIMER: THIS MAY BE OFFENSIVE
A blind man walks into a bar...
*And a table, and a chair.*
Maximus Prime As a blind man I find that extremely offensive.
XD
What did the mortician say to the soon-to-be mummy?
"Let's wrap this up!"
- game grumps video on bad jokes
- it's a 1 hour long video
- yeah that sounds about right
(love you guys
I have literally been watching the puns/wordplay/cheesy jokes compilations last night & all day, then they upload this. How in the world...?
Picture me, at work:
"A good piece of therapy is- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
followed by a 1ft jump in the air because I wasn't ready for this, this early.
The pause after “DAM” is so good
Arin:Two antenas met on a roof...Fell in love and got married...The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
I died of laughter lol! 😂😂😂
Colleen Glanville As did the Grumps!
@@jakebello7988 😂😂😂
My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is getting better.
Bio Knight *her aim is getting better!!!*
*BUT HER AIMIS GETTING BETTER*
Just laugh PLEASE!!
Trasher It’s funny because marriage is terrible-
once when i was in chem class in high school we all had to answer hw questions on the board right and no one answered number 7 so my teacher asked “why is everyone afraid of 7” and i, with way too much confidence, said “BECAUSE 7 8 9” and everyone in that class, teacher, friends, everyone looked at me like they wanted me to die
the best part about the kirby bad jokes is how they get progressively angier as they tell each joke