British Etiquette & Manners vs USA Manners | 16 Differences | British Culture | Americans in England
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 1. 06. 2024
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He who jumps a queue in England has a life expectancy measurable in seconds.
kelman727 Death by a thousand tuts.
really
@@spencerwilton5831 absolutely, well said
He who does not abide by the laws layed down by the gods queuing may he never lead a good and happy life and tutted at wherever he may go.....women too
I have a question I would love a Brit to answer. In a normal setting at a shop or something someone jumps queue and someone says something and the jumper doesn't go to the back of the line what would happen?
Ex. In the states I've seen people get stuff thrown at them even fights đ
Brit: "Heeey, we should meet up some time"
"Ok, ill come round at 6, see ya later"
Brit:..........well thats the first time thats happened..........................
I no I don't no wot there on about there and I'm british. That's not true we just won't invite you
Brits (provided they do invite):
O_O
It's more the point that us brits say it as a promise in the future, we will let you know or we can discuss but don't expect it straight away.
Pre-cutting food is considered childish as that is what a childâs parents might do for them at the beginning of a meal when the child is not old enough to cut up their own food yet.
Also it cools food down quicker. Cut as you eat, your food will stay warmer longer.
American here and I never pre-cut my food nor do I know anyone who does. I do switch hands with my fork for cutting and eating. It slows down your eating so you donât tend to eat so quickly.
Table manners are much the same as you say. The British generally think that Americans talk too much about personal matters when they meet someone. Not talking politics or religion is common. The British are very shy of talking about "the sordid subject of money", even in business contexts and, especially down south almost never talk to strangers on public transport. Some Yorkshire people, who pride themselves on their plain speaking and directness violate these rules, either obliviously or just to watch southerners squirm.
Watching Americans cut their food then switch hand to put the food in their mouth is irritating. It makes them look like they are unable to handle their cutlery properly.
@@Duchess_of_Cadishead That's why I try and go to places with chopsticks or anyrhing rather than traditional Western utensils. Or drink enough that I ignore it, whatever works.
Here in Scotland/Glasgow, "Skipping the queue" (cutting line) is guaranteed to get you a mouthful of abuse or, if you're really unlucky, a punch on the jaw. Personally, regardless of how pressed for time I am, if someone asks to go ahead of me, I'll let them skip the queue. If they just go ahead and do it, I turn into a red-eyed monster - it's the principle that counts.
yep...same here in NZ and Australia, although there are a lot of people who dont say anything. And yet still you get people jump ahead and do it, I suppose they are counting on the majority being quiet about it
@@jellybee68 In Ireland, its dependent on the first person in the queue. but usually the cashier's can be quite good in calling skippers out or people down the line. When there is no queue, than it's down to people being honest.
Yeah in the south east of England there are so many people that are too polite to speak up and tell someone to get back in their place but a lot of people will be raging inside and very politely tell you that there is a queue and you should get in it and then normally if you go a bit further north youâll get told to fuck off đ€Łđ€Ł
In London you might get those blank stares and barely audible moans... Lovin it
In the north east anyone queue jumping it told pretty quick.it cuts the death rate down quite considerably.
I prefer waiters just to take the order and go, it always seems a bit fake when they try and drum up conversation because you kind of know it's being done for tips rather than out of genuine interest.
We prefer the UK service style now too. The US method of "Hi! How are you?!" didn't seem odd before, but after living outside the States for three years, it now feels fake and wooden :P
Regarding serving staff being expected to offer conversation, in the UK serving staff are paid a proper wage and are only taxed on what they are paid. I would no more expect a life story from a server than I would from a supermarket cashier. The job for which they are paid is to provide good service. That said, exceptional service/politeness/friendliness rarely goes unrewarded. And they're not always required to share their tips.
I agree with george, I prefer them to go and leave us alone. And if by any chance you do get talking it's because you genuinely are both interested.
I'd say the lack of a tipping culture also makes for a more relaxed eating enviroment. There is no driving force to push you through your meal because the waiter/waitress wants to serve as many people as possible for more tips. Instead you can enjoy your meal and socialise at your own pace.
I only want to see the waiter to order thefood ,bring the food and bring the bill
Unless a Brit gives details on the invitation, it most likely is just politeness.
Yes, and if they really want to see you again they'll make sure to ask if you are free/available and change the time/date to suit you.
This itâs fakeness instead of politeness in my eyes.
Yes, if its a real invitation then we'll try to make it into an actual plan rather than an uncommittial gesture. For example: "oh, you'll be in town next week. I'll be busy on the Tuesday but I'm free otherwise if you want to meet up... Perhaps we could do xyz." rather than "oh, you'll be in town next week, we should meet up."
@@gastonwendler8110 Nothing to do with fakeness. It simple politeness by expression. 'See you sometimes' or 'Speak later' DO NOT mean the person saying it promises either of those. These expressions are pretty much the equivalent of 'Best wishes'.
Sometimes it is a genuine offer made in such a way as to reduce the pressure on the other person. If an invitation is made, it is in the recipient's power to suggest a date to meet up or not, depending on their wishes. It allows the recipient to say "Yeah, I'll check when I'm next free and let you know" (if they want to meet up again) or "Sure, that sounds great." (the equivalent of "I'll call you...")
It isn't fakeness. Just a cringing fear of causing discomfort in someone.
Thank goodness we don't have to hear the waiters life story everytime we go for a meal.đ
I really don't want some person bothering me when I came out to eat a meal.
Omg a tad selfish no?... No one should talk to YOU or try to be nice or friendly just because you are eating????? Really????? Oh so sorry your Highness... Forgive us pheasants... Gees...
@@orangie8426 Think you're reading a bit to much into my comment. Might be normal in the US but in the UK we aren't used to servers hovering rd making small talk when we're out for a meal. Don't know where you got the idea i think I'm superior to them.đ±
@@orangie8426 I'm there for a meal not story time, have a 20 second chat then that's it.
In the U.S. in recent years Iâve found it annoying for cashiers in busy supermarkets to ask me âDid you find everything you were looking for?â
we never have cream in our tea!!!!!
Yes, it's another one of those confusing linguistic anomalies. Americans call milk added to a hot beverage (brew) cream!
I write historical romance set during the Regency. There is a huge disagreement about milk and cream in tea. I actually drink tea and not coffee. I've also done a lot of research on it. I also drink my tea with milk and sugar. But there are a few authors who insist that the English drank tea with cream because of something they've read and there is no talking them out of it.
Cream in coffee. Milk in tea.
@@markberesford4074 Exactly.
I once had cream in tea, due to a mix up by my work coffee shop, it wasnât nice
I don't like conversation with the server. I like them to be attentive as to whether I want a drink or I'm ready for the bill, but I prefer to chat the with company that I am with.
We agree! Took us three years of being outside the states to become that way though đ
"We're going back to England in a month"
_Or so they thought..._
"Cutting in line" we would call "pushing in the queue" or "pushing in". Even if there was no physical pushing involved. And we would react by tutting, staring at the back of the person's head, and maybe turning around to share exasperated looks with anyone else who noticed. If there is someone genuinely in a hurry, the phrase "Excuse me, there is a queue here" might be called out.
Yesss, I was in a Nike branch in Manchester and I wasn't trying to push in, but there was a stuff I wanted to buy and the queue to the cashier was blocking my way, so I tried to reach to that stuff anyway but a woman in that queue yelled at me "Excuse me, there is a queue here".
I was embarrassed đł and I never got the chance to explain my situation.
Thanks for answering our question! "Pushing in" is a good phrase. We'll practice our tutting for our UK trip next month :D
Or a cry of âOI! C#%t! THEREâS A QUEUE HERE! YOU BLIND?
I think a lot of this depends on who is in the queue. I and many other British people WILL challenge people who push in, "Excuse me, there is a queue here...." or if it's just you and someone jumps in front of you, "Excuse me, I'm before you...."
The older I get the more I call out to queue jumpers. The last one was a young man built like a refrigerator but I still called out "Excuse me, there's a queue!" He looked surprised, then duly went and stood behind me. I wasn't bothered by anything except my feet hurting, and remembered to thank him on my way out.
"Please may I have?" is a polite question "Get me a coffee" is an order.
or "I'll do the half caf, non fat, xyz". How do you DO a drink?
I prefer to say "Please can I have..", but that might just be because I'm from further up north haha
Nobody says "Get me a coffee". It would be more like "I'll have a coffee." and when they bring it to your table, we would say "Thank you."
â@@MwahTV former barista here. It's usually a fair trade decaff skinny soy latte.
'I eat my peas with honey. I've done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on the knife.' (Spike Milligan)
Working as a cocktail bartender in the UK for many years I can tell you that the best type of customer service is bespoke. That is, you continually observe and get a feel for your customers and then respond appropriately. If they seem to be the gregarious types who want to talk, you talk to them. If not, you leave them be. If they look like they want or need help deciding, you offer it. If they'd rather study the menu, you give them space. If they're an older couple who have spent decades hearing each others' stories, you talk more. If they're a young couple staring into each others' eyes, you stay away. Any single style of service will annoy somebody. Better to be flexible.
A lot of chain restaurants will give that American style service. Most Brits find it not quite rude, but definately irritating.
if a Brit gives you a specific time/date/location for the meet up, it's a genuine invite. Otherwise, assume they are just being polite.
Personally I would be scared for my life if somebody said hi on the tube.
Thomas Foster the tube is a dangerous place, the rule is you look at the floor and shut up
AS a visitor to LOndon I wondered why people looked at me funny, now I know why.
The tube has similar etiquette to a menâs urinal, eyes front and no talking!
no, no! It's just because you're just such miserable, unfriendly, b*****s in London. It's just the same on buses. We actually thank the driver as we get off 'up north'. Never happens in London.
@@nevillemason6791 There's no point, because the driver probably can't speak English!
wow. If my waiter behaved like that in this country I'd be appalled. I want a waiter to be unobtrusive
True. The other thing is the posher the restaurant the less conversation you will have.
Kalina Phillips very true, in the US if u go to a more expensive restaurant the waiters arenât expected to converse or befriend the customers because the customers are usually viewed as they are at a much higher social status than just a restaurant waiter
It has to do with the tipping `system`.
Fascinating and pretty accurate observations guys. As a Brit in his mid mid 60's I will try and answer some of the questions although the caveats would be that the responses are entirely subjective and, given that manners and etiquette change over time, these observations only reflect the views of an older guy from a particular environment in the UK. Honesty:- being more forthright than most people I know has got me into awkward situations over the years. It has taken me decades to learn to keep my thoughts to myself - very limiting. Hosting company: - immediate offer of refreshment is mere common courtesy and common in most cultures. Visitors may have travelled for a long time to see you and many people would feel it would be impolite to ask for something if not immediately offered. The use of 'may I' is simply down to correct use of English language. It is a polite/formal way of asking permission. 'Can I' infers 'am I able to' Times change and the use of language is changing along with them. Gift giving: - my own experience is that gifts are never expected but invariably gratefully received. A reasonable bottle of red wine is almost always ideal unless you know the host is a recovering alcoholic. If it turns out they are non drinkers (unusual) they can always put it away for future visitors who want to wet their whistle. Interacting with strangers: - the older I get the more I find that, although people really keep themselves to themselves on trains etc.,, if you make the first move, and check they don't mind, having a chat with a stranger is not a problem. If you are speaking with an American accent (quietly), strangers will know you are mad as snakes anyway and make appropriate mental adjustments :). Table service: - If Eric behaved like that at my table I would either tell him to sod off or I would get up and leave. It would feel like a total invasion of my personal space. UK table service leaves much to be desired,but mainly in the observational training of staff. They should be keeping more aware of when they are needed and checking to see if drinks etc.need replenishing. Anything more is an intrusion. Cutting in: - 'Pushing in' or 'queue jumping' is a total no-no as you said. When I've seen it attempted someone will invariably say something. How aggressive that comment might be is in the lap of the gods. I once saw a lady grab the ear of a guy who was much bigger than her and escort him to the back of a long queue accompanied by a severe tongue lashing. The entire queue applauded! Jostling & apologies - same as the UK. Tipping: - absolutely not required BUT traditionally normal in restaurants (5-10% or anything you want) but not in pubs. Also traditional for hairdressers and taxi drivers. Can't think of any others. Hugging and kissing: - hugging for friends and relatives of any gender. Kissing of relatives of opposite gender. The kissing of friends and strangers of the opposite gender is a practise that has slowly crept across from Europe in the last 30 years and, consequently, there are no hard and fast British rules for it yet. Give us another 100 years or so and I'm sure we will sort something out. In the meantime, follow the lead of the potential kisser. Table manners: - exactly as you describe the manners in the US. Of course, we do use knives and forks (not forks and knives) properly, but you will note that foods not requiring the use of a knife (for example spaghetti bolognese) will tend to be eaten with the fork in the right hand. Pleasantries: -.Sir, Miss and Madam are still in common use in places such as restaurants, hotels or places where service is offered. Police officers will usually use these terms also Supposed endearments such as dear, love, darling, duck, sweetheart and so on are largely regional and, to some degree, generational. I have not been called duck since my great aunts died 30 years ago. It may still be actively used in parts of the country I have not been in for years. Topics of conversation: I think it is fairly universal that politics, religion and money are subjects to be avoided, especially if alcohol is on the menu. This rule is not however as hard and fast as it is in the US. Politics and religion are somewhat fair game since the major political parties here are not remotely as polarised as they are in the US, added to which most people in the UK are basically atheist and only a tiny fraction of believers are sufficiently nuts to get uptight about any negative comments. Money of course is an entirely different matter.
I had 45 mins. to kill so I thought I would work through your list - sorry this is so incredibly long!!! :)
Thanks! I really enjoyed reading it.
It was a pleasure to read. Thank you
Thank you đ
I'm autistic and naturally very forthright and it's taken me my whole 20 years of life to get to the point where I can interact with other British people in general without seeming too abrupt or weird but British manners are so complicated and unspoken its been very hard for me to learn and I still get things wrong sometimes. I'm glad there are other people who have had to learn over a period of years too.
@@violetskies14 I hope that you enjoy living in England, once you know the mannerism and structure/routine I find it easier to navigate life. As your set question has a set Answer.
I'm English and middle aged now, in my time I've lived and worked in a number of places in England, I've had the pleasure of meeting a number of Americans, and every single one has been the epitome of good manners, politeness and respect.
We don't call people ma'am but when at school or college or uni sir or miss
Ma'am is more American
In school we used to say 'yes miss', but I never said anything like that in college or uni, very much on a first name basis. I don't know if that is different at Oxbridge though, those Uni's come across as quite archaic.
@@lloroshastar6347It's interesting i'm 29 and when i was at school we called our teachers Miss/Mr Surname it would have been rude to only say Miss or Sir as it would seem like we couldn't be bothered to learn/use their name. At University the same thing applied but it would be Professor/Doctor Surname. I've found Maam or Sir is only used in retail/service situations and then could still hear "love" etc which I don't mind at all.
@@20bstar I'd imagine since Universities are different organisations that it would depend on the University you went to. At mine the lecturers would always use their first name. Never Miss/Ma'am/Sir etc. though. In school we had one teacher, a religious education teacher, who insisted on being called Mrs Surname (she was a right bitch), the rest of the teachers I had were happy with Miss or Sir. It was a comprehensive school but one of the better ones.
At my school we called the teachers Sir & Ma'am (rhyming with arm). Though, in fairness, whenever the topic has come up everyone else I've ever spoken to used Sir & Miss at their school & find it strange we called the female teachers Ma'am. Just to clarify, I am English.
Some years ago, I was in a queue going through security at Heathrow, an impatient American guy went to the head of the queue and said" have we got a problem here", he was told that he was the problem and several people told him to go forth and multiply, it was most amusing!
I'm from southern England, born and bred and when someone invites you to something, it's done with the expectation that you might actually want to go, not to be polite. I've never known or met anyone that invites people out of politeness, you'll only get invited if they want you to go.
There is one exception and I bet it's the same in the states or anywhere and that is if there is something being specifically discussed like a party or something and someone gets overheard that "should" have been invited but wasn't so they'll invite them so it's not awkward.
This is good to know! Thank you for taking the time to comment and answer our question. Maybe we were just reading into it đ
Not necessarily. Unless people are specific itâs often said out of politeness.
With an invite though there should be plans made beforehand. If I, a brit, invited someone over I would be shocked if they just suddenly turned up. I would expect them to at least call or arrange the meet-up before randomly showing up at my doorstep
@@WanderingRavens well gee....hope these answers cleared that up?! LOL. Because they have confused me further. I would say they are inviting you, but call ahead dont just show up. People need time to tidy up their bits and pieces...me, if I say "hey come over if you are in the area"...I dont care if you show up unannounced. usually when this is said, its prefaced with a "but call first"...thats Aussie / NZ style.
This is actually quite a hard question to answer. Growing up in this culture it'll normally be quite obvious when the invitation is genuine or not, despite there being no hard and fast rule that I can think of. The only advice I can give is that if the invitation is given earnestly it will often be made quite early on while discussing the subject and will probably be made with more enthusiastic language accompanied with some actual effort too find out if you are available. On the other hand if it is an offer made out of politeness it will probably be quite brief and will simply be something like "you are welcome if you are available", or "you must come" and then swiftly move on with the conversation. However I will add that if someone has invited you somewhere, whether out of politeness or out of a genuine desire to see you there, then you need not worry about going. If the invitation has been made then they should make you feel welcome and wont be offended if you take them up on the offer. They might be politely surprised that you did, but not offended :-)
You're description of USA service is an intrusive nightmare
As an American, I would say that he was exaggerating. A good waiter will pick up even subtle cues as to whether a person wants to talk or not.
Steven Eardley Ah no , I can confirm Iâve experienced just this behaviour in the States, almost to the point of nearly telling the server to go away, he was a real pain in the ass! Way too intrusive.
Speaking as an American, I can say that it can be intrusive at times. It's one thing to ask if I'd like another beverage when I have an empty glass in front of me. It's another to walk up every 2 minutes and ask if everything is alright or if I need anything else. Attentive is good, pestering is annoying.
Maybe if they paid decent wages they wouldn't need to hang around with their small talk. Sounds like a nightmare to me too. From experience though, in Oz & NZ they get paid very well as it is a proper profession. So they really enjoy their jobs, are treated respectfully and it a win win situation.
You sound pleasant
We say "Oi there's a queue here" when someone pretends not to notice there is one.
Hi Tom with this response I think you much be a big city person! Where as I'm a village guy we are never in a rush. If there's a que we would just wait as nice to meet warm friendly people who take an interest in their community ( unlike a modern Londoner who's only interested in themselves ( no offence)
@@stuarthardy3020 nonsense I grew up in a small town, and unless someone asked if they could cut in for a good reason they would absolutely get a telling off from someone. As for the idea that just because someone lives in London they must be self absorbed that's just laughable, plenty of good generous caring people live in London plenty of self absorbed dicks live in the country.
Politeness, as in greeting or acknowledging others on the street, increases as you move away from London, particularly as you move away from the South East.
Sean Kurtz rude? How is not greeting someone rude. Iâm from Essex and it is very uncommon to talk or look at strangers. Mostly we avoid eye contact, as unhealthy as it sounds, but itâs just the way we are brought up. I have no problem having a conversation with people if it happens and if people do say hello I will say it back pleasantly. It doesnât make people rude
Gift giving isn't really a thing in England (unless it's a birthday party, then you usually bring a gift or just a card/card with money in).
I've never known anyone bring a gift when going to someone else's house or going out for a meal.
Whenever we go to someoneâs house for a meal we always take a bottle of wine or flowers or chocolates or all of them. Itâs just nice to thank them for the invite.
As a Brit I would NEVER invite someone to do something unless it was genuine because I wouldn't want the awkwardness that would come if I was taken up on something I didn't want to do. It's a different story if someone invites ME to do something and this is where you might be finding your uncertainty. I wouldn't want to sound rude directly turning someone down, so I might answer in a non committal sort of way if I didn't want to do something. We all know how to read the signs... So when people invite you somewhere they may ask in a way that leaves you an easy option to decline, or an open ended invite that you have to set the date for. We don't want others to feel pressured into something (unless it's people you're very close with then we can be direct without fear of upsetting anyone)
" you don't expect decent people to take you up on an invitation! Downright rudery "
Sir Henry Rawlinson
Ok this is my opinion on tipping in the UK. I have been a waitress for most of the time at university so I am quite used to the culture. Essentially we only ever get tips when we have given especially good service and the customer is a generous person. We generally (or at least I don't) expect a tip usually. When I do get a tip - usually around ÂŁ10 or so, they will often hand me a note after they have already paid.
Where the percentage thing comes from is the 'service charge' which is an extra 12.5% added to the bill total for your service at the restaurant - this is shared between all the members of staff that work there, including the servers, chefs etc. Note it is optional and you can refuse to pay it. Most people in the UK will pay it however, as asking to remove that money directly from the person it will be going to is a bit much unless the service was really poor. Most people don't actually know that the service charge is split up though and treat it like the same as a tip - it is not, your actual server will only be getting a small proportion of that money which is why if you do tip, we are often really grateful.
If you can tip something, even if it is only a couple of pound coins, it can really make our day as it shows us that we've done our job well (as it is an uncommon thing to do). It's not really about the amount it's about the gesture itself - at least for me.
Thank you for taking the time to answer our question! This helps! :D
Personally I would never tip if there had been a service charge added to the bill, but in a restaurant I would tip about 10% if there was no service charge. A service charge is instead of a tip, IMO.
Many people (most?) here take tipping as being optional and based on the quality of service. Even if the food is bad, i might tip for the service.. In some places in Europe they tip on drinks and when i worked in pubs in a tourist town i sometimes got the change from a rounded up pint or round of drinks.
My rough rule of thumb here is
0% if problems or fast/easy food
5% if okay
10% is pretty decent
20-30% if great or feeling generous
I thought that hospitality staff in the UK get paid more relatively, whilst in the US the tips supplement income because staff often don't get a living wage? To me personally it seems more genuine if a tip is a commendation rather than an obligation?
My grandma used to call everyone ducky!! đŠđ
I would tip every time unless I was unhappy with the experience. Usually around 10%, it depends on the amount of the bill. I was brought up to leave a tip in cafés too, and even when I've only had coffee and cake I'll leave a coin (probably 50p) under the saucer or plate.
Service charges where i worked were applied to tables of 6 or more but was still optional and could be removed by request. I'd usually ask for it to be removed as a customer because table bills are generally paid by card and the tips are kept by the company or used to be when i was younger. I always give cash tips direct to the waiter or waitress and tell them not to share it. The amount you tip is up to you. Leaving small change (less than ÂŁ1 for example) is rude in my opinion as it can be taken as an insult and I'd prefer no tip at all in that circumstance but only because someone left me a 20p tip once when the bill was over ÂŁ50. Tighter than a ducks ass some people.
Iâm a waitress and if a customer want to make conversation then itâs polite for me to converse back but otherwise I give people a level of space
Yeah, whe you enter a house it is "shall I put the kettle on" or "IÂŽll put the kettle on".
My grandmother always said "Joints on the table will be carved!"
The problem is simple, US visitors see london as the UK, far from reality, you have to move north, east and west. Every area is so different, Language is different, local dialects differ, local foods are different. London is NOT the UK.Wander around in here and see Visitors blogs. Welcome to the UK :-))
Thank you for the welcome! You'll be glad to hear that we only spent four days in London and then spent 2 months exploring central and southern England :)
Just for a bit of fun, I am Scots, so a wee bit biased :-)) try a wee visit to the music of the 'Corries', they do serious and fun. sit back and enjoy a few hours of good fun. just type 'Corries' in the box.
@@tomlucas4890 Haven't heard of the Corries before! We're listening to this one now czcams.com/video/NzKXFpGGbws/video.html
Except that people from all over the UK live in London. So to that extent, it is the whole UK.
@@SvenTviking People from all over world live in London, it has a Pop of around 8+M, but the UK has a pop of around 60+m, my advice to anyone who visits , look to the north, where you will find the REAL UK.
In London you would acknowledge someone if you see them regularly, even if you never talk to them, just a nod to acknowledge their existence.
It is permissible to talk to people on long distance train journeys if they are not signalling they don't want to with a book or headphones
Gift giving, only if you want to - never expected. Servers, GENIUNE interaction is great - fake isn't. And we can tell the difference. Easier to err on the side of silence. You're not part of my night out. Go away.
It depends on how you were brought up (raised). The first time I'm invited to someone's house for a simple visit, then I'll usually take flowers. Or if I'm going for coffee/tea, then I might take a cake or something to go with the tea or coffee. I'll do that every time unless I'm told not to bring anything. If I'm invited for a meal, then I will usually take a bottle of wine every time. If I'm visiting someone in a different country, then I might take something from my country as a small gift.
Usually In the UK for gifts, if i was going to someoneâs house for dinner with a large group of poeple my mum (cause Iâm only 15) would ask âdo you want me to bring anythingâ and then the host usually argues saying ânoâ and my mum says âyesâ and then finally they decide about 4 hours later what food item there bringing (if any) but if your just going round for tea or are just having some pizza you might just bring some wine or just turn up with nothing, in the UK weâd usually text the host and ask âwhat would you like me to bring overâ
I live in Warwickshire, just down the road from where you guys stayed previously, I'll try to address a couple of the subjects :)
Kissing/Hugging : In a social meeting, I would give Grace a hug and a kiss on the cheek and might give Eric a hug with a shake of the hand.
Tips : usually I would leave a tip, percentage is pretty irrelevant tho, if I got a ÂŁ17 meal for instance, I might just leave the change from a 20, or if I felt it was really good service I'd throw a fiver in instead of the change, theres no set rules, more of a courtesy.
Conversation : Well, theres a rule they say here that in pubs you don't talk about politics or religion, I've found that recently the UK has become quite right wing biased, so as a left winger I have got in some ding dong arguments :D so the saying might be right! Religion wise, its a bit of an open subject, as an Atheist I have got in genuine talks with people of various religions - the intelligent conversation with most topics is fine, unless you find that someone is overly zealous about one side of the subject, just judge how open the person is to conversation and you shouldn't go wrong.
Differences : Americans can come across a little false/forced with their overly enthusiastic approach to interactions (we question how someone can be so friendly without knowing us), its probably where the whole stiff upper lip label comes from - that we aren't naturally as warm to strangers, we like a friendly greeting, but we see it a bit overwhelming when somebody throws happiness as much as an American person might do at us.
The biggest advice I can give to knowing English/British people is to watch Blackadder 2/3 and 4, it captures everything you need to know!
RaK great synopsis. Must be us left-leaning, liberal atheists!
It's really interesting that you think that the UK has become right-wing biased. As a right-winger, I think that we're waaaayyyy biased the other way and can't imagine how you could think otherwise.
@@gideonroos1188 You are absolutely spot-on.
@@7822welshsteam I guess it depends on location :D
â@@7822welshsteam You think as a country we're biased in favour of the left wing? Despite having a right wing government in power for a decade and a propagandist mainstream press that basically smeared the left-wing opposition party into the ground while giving Boris a free ride despite his antics of nicking phones, hiding in fridges, dodging interviews, constantly lying, and openly spouting homophobia and racism? In the run-up to the election the BBC literally broadcast barefaced lies about a labour supporter attacking Matt Hancock. In the last few years we've seen far-right ideology systematically normalised by our media, giving platforms and airtime to extremists like Katie Hopkins and Tommy Robinson. Prominent members of our current government are literally eugenicists for christs sake. Left wing bias? I daren't even mention my left wing leanings in public any more because so many people have been warped into believing we're all "terrorist sympathisers" and "commmunist extremists".
"Yes, that sounds like a good idea"
Translation:
"That's the worst idea I've heard today"
" duck " is used in the midlands /nottingham
MARK COPLEY
Duck - East Mids.
Chick - West Mids.
Duck is used A LOT where I'm from, which is Stoke on Trent and Staffordshire area. Almost all older people and some younger people call me duck. Doesn't matter what gender you are either, we call everyone duck!
One thing I have noticed when visiting USA from UK is that the servers clear the plates of people who have finished eating while others at the table are still eating. In UK this is considered very bad form. Do not clear any plates until everyone at the table has finished.
I'm in the UK and sir or maam is very formal, I've been called all sorts of things, 'my angel' is the most common where I live
Duck is most common in the East Midlands where I live (as in "ayup me duck" or "have a nice day duck"). I quite like it. I feel awkward when men call me darling or sweetheart but there's nothing offensive or awkward about duck.
âMaidâ is used in parts of Devon when women talk to each other
I use my ansom, darling, sweetheart, me lover, bird, all terms of endearment and no malice intended.
@@violetskies14 in Scotland the term 'hen' is used but it's for women only
@@squamespeach7258 hen sounds nice too and I don't mind pet or flower it's just when it gets to ones like beautiful, sweetheart, darling ect that it makes me uncomfortable.
'Jumping' the queue in England can result in murder, you must've been somewhere very polite...
One of my main childhood memories as a Brit is always being told to 'Mind your P's and Q's' (mind your pleases and Thank yous) I don't think I went a day without hearing it.(not because I didn't say it, they always pre-empt you)
"Manners Maketh Man" is the motto of Winchester College, a Private school which is on a par or just down in status from somewhere like Eton or Harrow
Harrow is a dump fuck them
In a queue we say someone has âpushed inâ. I definitely will say something đĄđ
Your videos make me laugh, Iâd sit for hours talking to you about the UK/US differences, theyâre hilarious! Firstly, I want to answer the âkissingâ question. For myself personally, I was brought up to greet people (family and friends of) by shaking hands with the men, and a kiss on the cheek for women upon saying hello, and the same again in reverse when we leave. This is only for people I know though. I live 200 miles from my hometown, so can go several months without seeing friends and family. I will generally greet all of my female friends with a hug and kiss on the cheek, and again when I leave them if itâs going to be a while between us seeing each other again. I know a lot of people, my partner included, who are completely averse to much contact with people outside our immediate family group, so this is really an individual mannerism. Youâd also judge it case by case, because for instance if I met a stranger, I would shake their hand but not kiss them - boundaries and all that!
Restaurant service in the US sounds intense! In the UK, itâd probably be frowned upon to have more than minimal polite conversation with the staff, such as asking what they recommend, or to thank them for the service etc. Similarly, waiters/waitresses will usually only approach once during the meal and ask if everythingâs okay with the meal, and then after exchanging pleasantries will leave you to it. This would be good service over here, you can have a small conversation at the end, such as if they ask if youâve anything planned for the night or whatnot, but they wouldnât tell you their life story and vice versa đ
Love this channel, youâre too funny!
Queue skipping has become a much bigger issue since lockdown. You used to just tut at people but now it's "Oi, there's a queue here!"
If anyone pushes into the queue, I would certainly say something
Good! They deserve to be shamed :D
It does make logical sense. I know it's bad form to be a grass but the American expat CZcamsr Evan Edinger did say he is that person who jumps a queue and he 'doesn't care what people think'. Other than that he seemed a nice guy but quite frankly I'm not standing for that kind of arrogance. Cutting a queue is rude whether it happens here or anywhere else quite honestly, it's the epitome of 'me first' culture and I detest it.
@@lloroshastar6347 Boo! Bad form, Evan! We're sorry about Americans like him đ
Gillian Rimmer I've never actually had anyone try and jump the queue !! But if they only have one item to buy, I will politely say you go ahead first đit's nice to be nice !!
Exactly. It's the southern Europeans, worried about not losing face by being seen to create a fuss in public, who wouldn't say anything. Hence everyone cuts in. The one time a Brit in a queue will speak is if someone tries to cut in front.
I'm English, and I work in the industry, but when I'm out eating I much prefer to be left alone, if anything is wrong I will mention it, if not let me speak to the people I am with. Tips are always welcome.
No comment about etiquette, but I really enjoy your videos. You clearly have a real curiosity and affection for the different cultures you experience. As an expat (English) living in Australia, many of your observations make me smile.
You're both great ambassadors for your country.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Tony! We appreciate you! And thank you for subscribing :) x
In England, you bring a bottle of something to drink to a meal in someone's house (but definitely not Sherry, unless it's your granny or your great-aunt Maud). If you jumped a queue, someone would definitely complain. Jumping the queue is sacrilege and is punishable by death. As far as invitations go, if someone says "You must come around and visit sometime", they are being polite and don't expect you to actually turn up, or to respond with "How about tonight?". If they really wanted to invite you around they would be much more explicit and definite about a particular time and date (that they would offer first). They would say something like "Would you like to come to dinner next week?" or something very definite and very clear. People in England are always saying "We must meet up" or "Do keep in touch" out of politeness, but they don't expect you to actually meet up or keep in touch. The correct reply to; "We must meet up sometime" is; "Yes, we must" (and you don't mean it either). If you meet an English person abroad and they swap addresses with the invitation to "Drop in the next time you're in England", they would be absolutely shocked if you actually decided to 'drop-in'. If a waiter wanted to have a conversation with me while I was eating, I wouldn't be in the least bit happy. By the way, the next time you're in England, do drop-in, it would be lovely to meet you and hear about your travels.
Love it!!! Lol bombayded...watching this in Wimbledon, London x loving your vids.
Your British friends have drink cabinets with sherry in them? Are most of your friends middle-class pensioners?
Hipsters?
@@judgejudyslover Maybe but most hipsters I've met drink craft ale in dimpled glasses
This is quite middle class in some ways. No one I know says "please may I have", except my posho friend (love him to bits). Same goes for drinks cabinets.
@Gaytony Spoken like a true working class tommy Brit!
Oops I have a drinks cupboard with sherry in, plus a ton of other alcohol.... usually left over from Christmas, but itâs not on display.
"Sir"
My father was a milkman for many years. As a teenager I would help him at the week-end and to collect in the money on Friday evening and Saturday. I watched him in conversation with the gardener at the Manor house. The conversation was polite and he used "Sir" but was called by name. Later at a large house another conversation went along similar lines. It struck me a little odd as I didn't expect anyone to use "Sir" in a casual converstation. I was more used to hearing it for comedic affect as in the tailor saying "Sir has filled out a little since his last measurement."
We walked up the hill to a travellers site and he meet a customer walking down and they greeted each other very much like the others I observed earlier in the day. I later asked who these people were. The first was not the gardener but the Lord of the Manor. The second was the Archbishop and the third a gipsy. All were treated exactly the same and each had respect for my father and all called him by his given name.
It is used and also by children and teens who are mostly more polite than some adults give them credit for. But I don't think it is common as it once was.
The only men I've ever called sir were my teachers in senior school (I'm 20). I don't think I've ever in all seriousness called someone madam or ma'am. My teachers in school were all miss or mrs. In general I just ask people what they prefer to be called and its usually their first name. Even my college teachers went by their first names. I slipped up and called one sir once and he said he wasn't an 1800s school master and to call him Rick.
Here in New Mexico, some people call you "sir" or even "boss". I'm from Washington D.C. and hate it. Sometimes I even tell people that I hate it. It's sort of like touching your forelock, and seems not only classist, but subtly snarky--like they're pretending to be respectful but are actually being disrespectful..
See, as I have said in other places, I am ancient, and taught people from 4 to 18 over a period of 40 years. When teaching I was usually called Mrs Hawes or miss, in one school it was protocol to call female teachers ma'am (to rhyme with ham) but that was unusual in a state school. I think they were just copying a neighbouring public school. But I hate being addressed by my first name, when I was young that was very rude, unless the child put 'auntie' or 'uncle' in front of the name.
In the part of the UK I am from (The South East), I have used the term 'Queue Jumping'.
As a Brit, I was raised to believe that when hosting we must offer food and drink as a form of social contract to seal the deal of 'you're now under the safety of our roof while here'. I was taught it comes from the old bread n salt idea (sorta like in game of thrones lol) but over the years turned to tea n biscuits.
Can also tell how invested a host is in the relationship by what food is offered:
- Tea n biscuits is the polite baseline.
- If you like em you bring out the cakes and sweets (especially home made sweets when possible).
- For someone you'd like to see more then you offer sarnies or full meals (with the safety net of "oh don't worry I'm making for me anyway so...").
When I was in college I had a small table in my room that was specifically for guests, I kept it topped up with fruit, biscuits and sweets. And my teapot was always busy and ready to go. Got to a stage where one lass at college, who was lactose intolerant (so I made sure to have suitable snacks available for her during study sessions, as I found we studied better when everyone felt safe and valued), would come on weekends asking if I had any spare snacks cos non of the vending machines on campus catered to her needs.
I love playing the hostess but it's ruddy expensive.
"We're going back to the UK in a month's time" good luck with getting into self isolation land...
Yeah...plans have changed :( We'll be staying in France until the current situation cools down.
@@WanderingRavens Gutted. Hopefully you'll be able to visit again in a few months to a year
Are you going to visit wales on your next visit?
Wandering Ravens where were you planning to stay? Try and come to bristol - id love to see your comments from staying in brizzer đđ
You kinda answered your own question earlier when you mentioned alcohol proudly shown off in houses. What gift to bring someone when you are invited to someone's house..... If you are eating, alcohol, usually what you and your host drink, wine, beer or something stronger, if you're not eating, gift giving really isn't a thing. However if you are coming from a foreign country bringing something food related from your own country not available in the UK would be nice. (I would suggest chocolate as the most common but giving America chocolate to European is not generally the best thing to do).
Working for a US company for 4 years the difference as a Brit that stuck out to me the most is something you haven't mentioned, formality or perhaps hierarchy. I worked as in a senior position, I would chat to the cleaning staff, even offer/make them a cup of coffee, they would call me by my first name, I'd even sit and chat with the security guard in the canteen. For the Americans this was a no no, security and cleaning staff were low echelons you didn't fraternise with them and they very definitely had to call you Mr or Sir. I noticed this was very general across America not just my company, America is very hierarchical, whereas in British your supposed to treat each other the same, not better than one another.
I worked in the UK for a big American corporation and the hierarchy thing was definitely ingrained. I noticed in particular that someone without a degree was considered more valuable than someone who didn't go to university, even if they had years of relevant experience. It was clear that there were 'glass ceilings' throughout the hierarchy and this was surprising because I thought the American ethos was anyone can do anything if they worked hard enough.
I agree everyone talks to everyone in uk no matter your job
Mephistopheles or flowers usually if youâre seeing a friend, but yeah, usually wine or Prosecco depending on what they like. But you donât always need to bring a present whenever you go to someoneâs house
A strange American table habit is keeping your hat on at the table, in the UK most people remove their hat when sitting down to eat.Keeping it on is very common
Except in winter it's unusual to be wearing a hat in the UK. If you're wearing a sun hat, it's likely to be so hot that you will grab any excuse to take it off.
I detest it when I hear someone say - 'Can I get........?'
'Get' ?!! Yuck!!
My thought is usually - 'I don't know, can you?'
It was drummed into me as a child. If you want something, you say - 'May I have'
The only answer to this question is 'Yes' or 'No'.
There are many things you can do; whether you may, or may not, is a different matter.
as a comedian pointed out, if you GET it, you work there lol. the waiters gonna get it for you.
@@Auron710 Sean lock đ
This! I find I say "can I please have (insert here), thanks".
Indeed they rarely say may I have in this day and age in the UK , parents are not teaching this to children any more, and American men are way more respectful towards women when out and about ,they will almost always stand aside to let the women in first ,give up their seat to let you sit ,oh how things have changed here in the UK.đ
â@@connie.h2435 Yeah, we have moved closer to equality, we don't give up our seat just because you are a woman, because that's still discrimination, even if it is positive, if you have a reason that you need to sit more than me, hell yes I'll offer my seat, like age, pregnancy, a disability or just clearly less capable of standing straight. Same goes for the doors, I hold them open for anyone despite gender or age, unless I am really in a hurry, genuinely don't notice or physically can't.
I agree with Grace on customer service. If I go out to have a meal in the restaurant I'm there with friends for a meal and good chat. I don't want to be bombarded by the servers and when they come to check if everything is okay just come the once. I've experienced the severs coming over several times asking that question, usually when I have food in my mouth and it would be rude to answer with food in your mouth.
Jumping the line in the UK is a no-no. I would say something politely and then usually applauded by the people behind me for speaking up
Service
UK: waiter will wait until everyone has finished eating before removing empty plates. In the USA they seem to take a plate as soon as it's empty. This would be considered rude in the UK as it's seen as trying to rush the people still eating.
Typical tipping in the UK is about 10% of the price (including tax). However this only really supplies at full service restaurants. If you order at the bar rather than have table service, you tend not to tip as you pay before you get any service.
Duck is a Derbyshire thing. In Newcastle is would be Pet. In other cities, it would be different again.
We never use Sir/mam
Except at secondary school. Teachers would be called sir/miss.
l3v1ckUK I agree with everything you say apart from the sir and madam there are many professions and businesses where you would address people formally
Yeah this is one thing I noted about Americans. They actually use sir/ma'am way more than we do. I never called my dad Sir, or my friends parents etc.
So, you wonât address someone as sir or maâam, but youâll call them a duck? Tf is that all aboutâŠ.
The only time we ever dare speak to a stranger on public transport is when there is a delay or another problem with the service (which admittedly does happen a lot đ ) and then you may exchange sighs/tuts/eye rolls/complaints đ
Some of my favourite terms of endearment/affection include pet/petal/flower and also duck/ducky. I grew up in Lincolnshire saying duck/ducky to people and now living in the North East of England am often called petal or flower and also use them in my everyday life.
I particularly like the way these terms are often non-gender specific - it's always funny to hear a big bloke call another big bloke, 'duck' :p I grew up in Bolton and Manchester, and live in Yorkshire, so 'love', 'petal' and 'flower' are all very common to me.
If someone jumps the que in th uk they will be told to Xx*8* get back. In the uk if you bump someone you say sorry, if you get bumped you say sorry :D
Good to know! đ
The first is being polite. The second is that you are sorry that they exist. Both meant most sincerely.
Thank you I enjoy watching your videos â€ïžâ€ïž
Without beating around the bush, the music in the background is a little high and annoying đ
Oh no! We're sorry! Thank you for letting us know and we'll turn it down in the next one :)
Jumping the queue gets you the dreaded tut or passive aggressive mention over an ongoing mobile call!
In terms of tipping, from what I have experienced as a waiter, tipping is not expected but it is welcome. Our tips were collected in a jar at the front desk and shared among the staff equally at the end of the day.
In UK we definitely prefer to be left alone by waiting staff, if they came up and started chatting that would be weird.
Best way I've been greeted by a stranger in the UK is "Alright me lover" by someone in the west country.
Alright my luver is how itâs goes in south west
I like to chat with shop assistants and checkout staff in supermarkets. Something friendly, possibly humerous, nearly always get a surprised positive response. At our local shops and supermarket I am often remembered, which is nice.
I am American, born and raised. My parents and grandparents are also American. I think my maternal and paternal great grandparents are from England, Wales, and Scotland. My dadâs grandpa was from the Isle of Mann, my momâs fatherâs family was from Scotland and my moms motherâs family was from Wales. I get a big kick out of the British etiquette comments because I grew up with a lot of this etiquette and it was definitely different from some of my friends. Manners were extremely important to my mother. I grew up on Long Island, NY. I married a man from Italy and the culture literally scared me. It was very loud and overwhelming to me. Now I totally embrace the culture and I speak Italian very well and I also understand Sicilian. ( My husband is older-Sicilian appears to be disappearing.) I find culture fascinating and I love learning new languages. Thank you for your CZcams channel.
With queueing, there are often circumstances where someone with a couple of items will ask the person in front of them with a full trolley (cart) or basket full of items if they can go first. Sometimes, the cashier notices and asks the person if they can go first.
If the person declines, they're usually an a**hole for not respecting the situation.
I find that elderly women are very kind on this matter.
Im sorry. Cream? In tea? đ
If cream refers to milk, then what is cream to an American? I'm very confused.
In the UK we usually tip 10% is for adequate service. You can tip more if the service is good. If the service is bad, no tip, and if the restaurant automatically puts a tip, is always optional and you can have it removed from the bill.
I was in Seattle on a business trip a few years ago and met up with a counterpart from Melbourne, Australia that was also in town. I noticed some of the politeness of saying "thank you" in a very sing-song manner at restaurants when the waiter/waitress would deliver something versus a more abrupt "thanks" or "thank you" we're used to. The way she said it almost sounded sarcastic but I think she really was being polite.
In the uk we are ok with having our elbows on the table but u still have to eat with your mouth closed and and you have to use the right hands to eat with
Good to know!
Wandering Ravens Donât listen to Nicola, elbows on the table is considered rude , by civilised people(not suggesting youâre not Nicola)
@@Reaper6083 Absolutely.
Not sure what barn you brought up in, but put your elbows on my table at dinner and they will be knocked off! :)
Depends on the context really. It's not uncommon to sit at a table in Mc D's and rest your elbows on the table while you eat your burger - but that makes sense - resting your elbows on the table while sat with people around a table for dinner and all using cutlery would not be acceptable.
On invitations, first invitation may be just being polite. if they really mean it then they will ask again and then you should definitely go.
Good to know! Thank you for explaining this aspect of the culture to us! x
So... are you supposed to refuse the first invitation as a rule and then wait for a second invitation? Like wait for them to offer again? It seems to me that youâre kind of forcing them to beg you to come. If they wanted to come, they would. I wouldnât ask again unless someone didnât respond or I really, really wanted that person to come and I had to kind of talk them into it.
Currently living in Florida, I grew up in New Jersey and I have never heard of putting away/hiding the alcoholic drinks. Interesting.
I worked in a clothes shop for five years and one time I served some American customers, they were lovely. The thing that confused me was they called me ma'am despite being significantly older than me. I am more used to being called love, duck, sweetheart etc
Just bring booze as a gift. Even if the person doesn't really drink. Like you said yourself, us brits love to display our booze (Y)
Also, most of us have crippling social anxiety until we're drunk, which is why we enjoy being drunk. And when we're drunk we invite people to do stuff in the heat of the booze, then wake up the next day and regretted the idea.
lean bean Great point. Iâve often wondered the next day why I invited someone to do something. Booze talk
From what I gather the North of England equates more with the Southern States, so friendliness of our South should be found in Northern England. Economically I think that's true also.
The north/south thing is a bit over emphasised. I accept that London is generally unfriendly in the public domain but you don' have to travel to the north to find friendly people. I live in Norfolk and it's quite usual when shopping in Norwich ( a fantastic city by the way if you,re a visitor looking for somewhere to go) to fall
into conversation with a complete stranger. Although I would add the caveat that you would need a reason. Just suddenly talking to someone in a bus queue might result in you being given a wide berth.
Tipping in restaurants in the UK is actually very simple:
1. If very unhappy with the service then you don't give a tip at all.
2. If satisfied or pleased with the service then you tip 5-10% of the bill, at your discretion, depending on the size of the bill and how generous you're feeling. On smaller bills don't tip less than ÂŁ1.
But note, if the service has been good, or very good, and you don't tip, then you will be considered to be extremely tight (mean), as most people realise that waiters etc are usually not well paid and so rely on these tips as part of their income.
Visit the Lake District! The views are stunning and itâs culturally rich, worth a visit if youâre up North and on the way to Scotland!
Yes! We really, really want to visit the North and Scotland. Going back to the UK next month and will try to go up north if we can :D
Hereâs the deal with chatting to people in the UK: itâs fine - lovely even - except when the person has no escape route. This is why you shouldnât inflict your conversation on people on trains or buses. Because theyâre trapped, which is just plain unfair. Similarly, if a customer in a restaurant is trying to have a quiet meal (it could be a first date, for example) but the server insists on chatting, what are the diners going to do - get up and leave? Again, theyâre trapped. Conversely, if you fall into conversation in the street or a shop, for example, then the other person can always make an excuse to wind up the conversation and move on. In this case, theyâre fair game.
As regards taking gifts, if youâll be lifting a fork (i.e. not eating with your fingers) then never go empty-handed. Actually, never go empty-handed period. Even for afternoon tea, a jar of jam, or packet of nice biscuits, or some tea, or just about anything that suggests youâve gone to a modest amount of effort will always be welcome. For lunch or dinner choose at least one and preferably two of wine, chocolates, flowers, something yummy and comestible. Thoughtfulness always wins over expense. But work on the basis that your hosts may well re-gift your present to someone else. I once made the hosts open and serve the chocolates Iâd brought. Years later, Iâm still feeling ashamed.
That incredibly rude " correcting other people " is a thing with older, middle class people, I think the lack of self awareness is very odd, to the point where I tend to think it might be a sign of incipient mental health problems.
In the UK If itâs a dinner party or something more formal u tend to bring wine or chocolate or flower but mainly alcohol of sort. But it depends on the even and people xx
The best waiting staff are those that come over with a mere glance and efficiently tend to you without a fuss or reminders.
And queue jumping = Pushing in!
If youâre a waiter in the UK, youâre expected to address your customers as Sir/Madam
Loved your video đ...I personally would always take a gift for the host if i was invited to a dinner party, bottle of bubbly or a wee candle etc. Have even been known to send a card the day after to say thanks for a great night...See it's not true what they say about the Scottish đ
Hello Grace & Eric. A couple of things for you... tipping. We don't expect to leave a tip unless the service is exceptional. Many restaurants already preload the bill (check) with a gratuity/service charge and this can be 10 ~ 25% of the bill. When it is time to pay, the PDQ machine adds it automatically and then you have to specifically enter no, when the machine is taking your card payment, if you do not want to pay the service charge. I was in Alabama having a meal at a really nice restaurant where there was Jazz music being played by a great band. The meal was tasteless and our server was pretty grumpy and just throwing things across our table. So after an indifferent meal and surly service, my wife said I could not leave without leaving a tip. I did not want to leave a tip but my wife was insistent. I said ok and she had got to the door of the restaurant and I placed the tip on the table then we both left. She asked me how much I left and I said 1 cent. She was horrified.
One final perspective is that tips in a restaurant are often shared collectively and would normally be equally shared between the waiting staff. Many restaurant owners just keep the tips as extra income. In Denmark, I took a 100 mile taxi ride for a specific purpose and I wanted to tip the taxi driver at the end of the journey. He not only refused the tip but he got very angry. There was a sign in the taxi (terms and conditions) and it stated "No tipping". I apologised and learned that if the employer thought that tips were good, they would lower the salary. The taxi driver earned a good wage that he could live on because there was no tipping.
The "may I have" is just good English usage. "Can I have" or "Can I get" is a question to which the answer must be obvious. If you are in a cafe, asking "can I get a cup or pot of tea", the answer is of course you can... why ask. We are a cafe and we sell tea. The answer to the question that begins with "may I have" (it is very polite speech) is usually going to be "yes of course" or for young children just learning English manners, it will probably be "yes, you may".
Rephrase the question in as many ways as you can think of without using the word 'can' and you will end up with many polite and acceptable forms of question. In France you will have come across, "I would like" (je voudrais) as a polite form of question or "do you have" avez vous? English does not have the very well defined formality of French but we have many subtle variations on asking questions. The 'Can I' form of question is not easy use and although it is getting more common, it is poor English usage. If a child asks a parent "can I go to the park?" the parent may understand that the child is seeking permission. Technically speaking, unless the child's legs are missing, it will be obvious that they CAN go to the park. "May I go to the park?" is the direct question asking for permission to go. The answer will be in the form, "yes, you may go".
OMG "What's the magic word" is something we say too. I love that!
When youâre in a restaurant in US and the waiter takes individual plates away when you are in a group!! Makes me feel uneasy and feel rushed, as if I have to catch up finishing my meal!! Iâm from the Uk and usually all the plates are taken away when everybody has finished dining. Is this a thing or has this only happened on a few isolated occasions to me?
Omg This happened all the time in every place we ate in Miami until we actually said to the server NO LEAVE IT!! And feeling rushed out when the bill comes before we asked for it!
I'm an American and this happens all the time it makes me feel rushed too. Its mainly because servers get paid lower than the minimum wage where I'm at minimum wage is 8.10 a HR. but servers get about 1.20 a HR. So the idea is to get as many customers as you can in a shift. Also it's polite to tip more if you stay after the meal is done or most of the party is finished eating
Taking away individual plates before everyone has finished is considered extremely rude in the OK. It's avoided because it can make anyone who hasn't finished their meal feel uncomfortable and thus hurry unnecesarily. If a waiter moved to do it they will invariably apologise once they realise their mistake. Remember that etiquette in the UK, if not elsewhere, is primarily to avoid making people feel uncomfortable.
Iâm from the South East of England and the only thing we never like talking about is feelings or anything sexual unless drinking is involved then we completely switch personalities as a nation! I do think we are worldwide champions at sarcasm though đ
No shit, Dan (!!) sorry, accidental down vote - hand slipped. I love sarcasm. (from Somerset fyi)
Good to know! Thank you for answering our question :D
@@WanderingRavens I think you can add money to the list, especially earnings and luxury purchases. If I was talking about a new monitor I'd bought, I'd talk about how I've been after one for a while, and it's reviewed well and a good fit for me but wouldn't say "Hey I just spent ÂŁx on a montitor."
The queuing thing depends on what the queue is for. Generally silent complaint to those around you who noticed is the norm. If the queue is long or for something like an event or the cinema, particularly first come first severed situations something will likely be said like "there are other people waiting you know" generally people then move to the back, but if again depending on who the people involved are and the situation a lot of glaring and swearing ensues.
Sir is only used for like a teacher or authority figure and we never say Mam the closest we have is madam but its only really used for like a formal letter
As a Brit myself I would say no first then see their reaction if it is a genuine invite they would repeat it
This is a real problem for an American. It's just too subtle. Are you supposed to read people's minds to know whether they mean what they say? I watched a youtube by an Irish woman, and she said the same thing--that it's polite to ask someone to tea, but that does not mean that they actually want you to come. I accept that that's the way it is, but can't say I like it. Who wants to show up at someone's house and then realize they're not wanted? Your practical advice--say no and see the reaction--is useful.
When it comes to tipping in the UK (as far as Iâve experienced) you donât need to tip because servers donât get paid slave wages like the do in the US. The only time you tip a server is if theyâve been extra good at their job or gone out of their way to do something for you.
You definitely don't need to tip but there are still some expectations around tipping in some situations. If you go to a restaurant (a proper one, not just a cafe or a pub meal) then it is kind of expected to tip - 10 to 15%. In some cases the tip (service charge) is added to the bill whether you want it or not, in which case you don't then add a further tip. A lot of ladies will tip their hairdressers and some people will tip deliveries such as pizza deliveries. but again, not everyone because you don't have to.
I always tip around 10% in restaurants unless the service is bad. I'd give an extra 5% if the service was exceptionsl
Regarding gift-giving, I would say that in the UK it's customary to take something if you're going for an occasion, such as a party or celebration. Something like a bottle of beer, or food for the party is well received. If it's your first time visiting someone, and they're letting you stay, it's customary to give a small gift such as flowers or chocolates as a thank you. You can do it each subsequent time, but it's not necessary! Again, it's a way of showing gratitude and politeness. đ
In terms of gift giving: I usually just go with a nice bottle of wine - either red or white depending on what I know the host likes, but if I don't know the host I'll bring one of each. Either that or we usually bring part of the meal (usually the starter or the pudding).