r/Facepalm | the world is your canvas -
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2023
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19:12 "I want this woman to get-"
The most painful wisdom tooth extraction.
The most botched Brazilian waxing job.
The most threadbare and obvious scam artist to rip her off.
The most cats to shit on her front lawn (and she doesn't own any of them)
The most painful death, most likely a non anesthesia surgery
Jesus, calm down… we don’t want Satan getting ideas
The biggest Facepalm I've experienced, is my Dad's continued Ranting against me not being a Morning Person!
His exact quote is:
"Going to sleep & waking up, only when your Body feels most comfortable doing so, Isn't Living"
... I'm 27 by the way...! 🤦
I feel that. Every medical or mental problem I experience, my mom responds with "you need to eat better".
Albert Einstein once said
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Given how right he was about so many things, I'm inclined to declare that he totally called this one, too.
Jokes on Zuckerberg, he might be a lizard person, but Elon is that Alien from Dreamcatcher
The shitweasels.
The Shit Weasels? Yeah, that tracks.
I broke my brother the other day when he told me about their fight by responding with "it'll probably be AI generated"
@@CajunCrustacean I meant dudly... but ok.
@@TnT_F0X I figured, but calling him a Shit Weasel is both accurate and brings to mind Morgan Freeman saying it, which is always a plus.
People like Megha are the reason guys don't open up to others. We're taught being a man means being "tough" so we're not allowed to cry or show any sort of vulnerability to others.
I went to my step-dad one time because I had fallen on my arm pretty hard and said it hurt really bad. His response was "If you're not bleeding you're fine." The next day my arm was swelling and changing color. Turned out I had a fracture and had to go to the hospital. I was about 13 at the time.
This also reminds me of a joke commercial. I can't remember what it was about but it ended with "Being a manly man that can wrestle bears and take out the garbage." It's funny but I legitimately think there's people out there that think that's a serious sentence. We're not invincible machines. We're people too.
Yup it really is stupid. It’s like we can never fully get it through our heads that whether you’re a man, woman, child or whatever you’re just a person, with similar mental and physical needs. We all have the same base emotions and desires and even have similar thought patterns usually, even though we are all very different in other aspects of our personalities and live differently
Better don't show vulnerability, because vultures are eager to exploit it.
@@ceu160193that's how you die by the age of 40. Yes there are vultures, but that's why you have people to protect you from those vultures.
Haha... my moment, mom says "why is it not working?" And keeps hitting the dryer, I say "did ya check the filter?" The she says "what?" And I see... THAT MY MOM USED THE DRYER FOR 1 AND A HALF YEARS WITHOUT CLEANING THE FILTER
Dear God
Something that makes me face palm is when someone completely misses something that's completely obvious
My armchair psychologist theory about the OceanGate CEO is that he's obsessed with being a modern day pioneer of sorts. The things that the CEO says give me the feeling that he wants to be seen just like the pioneers of different achievements from back in the day; the examples that come to my mind (because I've read a little bit about them) are the early aviators that pioneered flight with gliders, like Otto Lilienthal, Octave Chanute, and many others throughout history. The difference being, of course, that, back in the day, there were no safety standards because they were researching and inventing something completely new that hadn't been done before, so of course someone had to risk their life to get the entire concept off the ground (no pun intended, but funny nonetheless). In the present day, submersible explorations have been done for quite a few decades (including to the Titanic), so the industry has had enough time to mature into something that can be done fairly safely.
I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking it and overanalyzing it, but it really does give me this feeling.
I just view him as complete and total Darwin
0:45 here is a facepalm moment:I was in the 6th grade when we had this fundraiser type thing and you would get to hike with the people hosting it,every grade from our class to kinder was in the gym,when it was time to ask questions some kid in the 5th grade and i shit you not asked,"how do i know if your not going to kidnapp me"
Oh great. First, Monster Energy lawsuits for any other franchises with the word 'monster', and now Apple wants copyright for actual 🍎
Nate's story about the pastor giving a man cancer the donation money for health bills after all the man has done for the church makes my faith in humanity glow brighter
The Florida ounces one actually caused a facepalm. Congratulations to that poster
It made me lmao 🤣
"Send. Location." yeah no robotic at all no sir
Something that makes me facepalm is when someone says im wrong about something just to find out 10 seconds later i was right, because I've done the thing they've never seen before, alot
I definitely would not be paying for someone who brought someone else on any of our dates because as soon as I see that you brought someone else I'm dipping without ordering anything nor sitting down.
@@chillwill2918 understandable. I think it really depends on the date setting whetehr or big I’d bring someone but I’d never expect to be payed for and especially not for my friend to be payed for. My mom brought two of her siblings to her first date with my dad because she couldn’t tell whether or not he was a creep yet. It was a sledging date though so it was still fun as a group and not some fancy restaurant
During my highschool years we had two drug addicts in our school and they sold some drugs to one of the students that I knew. Schools are literally jokes when it comes to child safety!
27:34 IT should be Satan doesn't say 'worship me' he says 'worship yourself' That would make more sense...
My grandaunt was a preacher and made her family very religious. My cousin was dating a guy and immediately broke up with him because she found out he had two moms. Religion's the worst...
43:42 doesn't North Korea punish the entire family for some crimes?
For all crimes, I think
Nate's story about his Pastor made me cry a little bit!
Edit: Nate, Elon Musk is not 60, he just turned 52 almost 2 weeks ago!
13:13 people like this are why Men's mental health is a joke & why we feel fragile a lot
Sometimes I wonder if I should give up on life
@@GamerBoy870not even joking I feel the same
@@GamerBoy870
It's always so tiring to be treated as an automaton by society in general, only to then be treated as the bad guy for.... (looks at notes) having emotions. 😢
society has reached the point where it has become idiocracy, and people just just havent realized it.
2:55 I think that case is different because the child will be a mix between him and the unrelated person that he's married to. The whole problem with inbreeding is that we all have problematic genetics, but they tend to be recessive/easily overridden by various other genetic factors. Inbreeding decreases. Variety that stops those negative traits from arising, and increases the prominence of that genetic flaw. Even though he has it, I believe the DNA from his wife would suppress those genetic deficiencies, and as the kids grow up and enter mixed with other people who are distinctly unrelated, the risk of those problems will decrease even further. Fortunately, we live in a time where genetic testing is a thing so you can tell from the get-go If the child is going to have said genetic issues or not, especially if you already know what to look out for. But oh, this is my uneducated guess. I am not a physician or a geneticist.
0:54 I remember playing a game of Yugioh with a guy back in college.
It was fluffals vs ghostricks. I flip summon a monster. No response from him. I go to flip another monster, and he stops me.
“You can’t do that!” He said. I reply with why not. “Flip summons are a type of normal summon.”
I look at him dead in the eye and tell him, “you’ve been playing Yugioh for how long?”
He was serious with me. He thought flip summons were just fancy normal summons.
After I explained to him how flip summons work, with a rule book and evidence to back it up, he scoops up his deck and left. I didn’t see him again for about a solid week after that.
😅
facepalm moment: verified twitter users when they find someone who has different opinions
42:50 Wow… I have never been so disappointed of a fellow Wisconsinite.
33:27 in regards to your suggestion of the removal of the oath of celibacy: the Eastern Orthodox branch of Catholicism allows priests to have wives but only if they were married before they took the tests to become priests. However, I don’t believe married priests will ever be allowed to climb the Catholic ladder to the papacy.
Napster is still up and is doing what Spotify is doing.
One thing that makes me facepalm is when I'm playing yugioh and somebody ash blossoms a one of my danger monsters.
42:59 "I'm a pharmacist and I'm a pharmacist. "
Mark vs elon would be like hulk vs iron man.
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Thanks Caleb.
Thanks Caleb
6:11 If it’s a blind date and you bring 23 other people, that’s gonna be one hell of a night😏
To be fair I thought the same thing about FL ounces... When I was 4
These are the questions I'd ask them, 1) How do you know it's a Shield? 2) How do you the Government did it? And 3) How do you know God is past it?
18:40 Are those kids Canadian?
Looking at the USA housing situation, I'm really glad that Austria, where I live, is rather hands on with the economy. Meaning landlords are mostly corporations, but they are extremely controlled by the goverment in what they can and can't do. In case of the recent inflation they're discussing a rent maximum per meter squared, so that people can still live comfortable lives during this inflation crisis.
Fellas, is it gay to show emotion?
I say no. If you refer to emotions like sadness or such, repressing it will increase your chances of an outburst or a breakdown. Better to let it out, within reason and among understanding people.
(My dad who was my source of transportation, to work back and forth was running late getting home) The time when despite me showing up to work like five minutes late, (almost never happening) due to oversleeping from stress, (I blame mostly myself on that one) I did janitorial work at Food Lion, oh I'm sorry in their own words, "Quality Assurance." I got everything done pretty fast only at the end to realize when I went on my lunch break (Which I didn't do too much, to cut cost on ordering out or eating snacks, with the first being too expensive to have all the time, & the other going to make me hungry anyway so what's the point, I just power thru the rest of the day with like two cans of soda.) only to realized that I left my debit card at home, I had like a dollar & fifty cents so made it through the day but fuck me.
how much you wanna bet the husband just chose to die.
I still primarily translate Gay as Happy and normally say LGBT+ when talking about Homosexuality
That being said, I'm constantly Gay with my DnD group
Just where do you charge your cellphone, if you are homeless?
22:40 that's a sociopath
last time i checked, blind dates are a 1 on 1 thing, not 1 on 24
34:45 Rather it's through friendship or more intimate means, whatever God one believes in wants you to have relationships with others. By knowing others, you learn how to serve others, and almost every religion believes that service to others is service to God.
The oath of celibacy honestly I feel makes the clergy alien to the needs of the congregation (on top of the other problem of clergy being human and just as prone to the temptation of the flesh as the rest of us, but not being allowed a healthy outlet for those feelings)
Important fact: Celibacy was introduced around 1130. A priest was technically the owner of the land around his church. His children normally continue with his work, inheriting some of the land but still working under the Catholic church. If a son chooses another carrier, he can still inherited a small piece of land that leaves the church. By introducing celibacy, the Catholic church made sure the lands the priests have where inherited by them when the priest die, keeping them under their possession.
This rule was introduced during the middle ages, when the church was a big power. Many new laws around this time help them get more money and influence, this one was just one of them, disguised as a way for priests and other members of the church to give more love to God.
Those old times where wild.
@@Lucky_RFMDA Don't they also justify it by saying that Paul was celibate and encouraged celibacy? When in those same letters Paul also said that not everyone is him and not everyone has the same constitution as him, and for those people they should get married because if they're gonna have sex anyways, God would be a lot more happy if it were in that context instead of fornication?
@@princealigorna7468That's... Actually pretty interesting.
Can someone explain the twitter post at 23:09 to me?
I get, that is has someting to do with racism, but I don't understand the meaning.
I think they somehow believe mixed races eventually become just white and I get the feeling they're the type that believes in superiority of their own race and anything else is lesser. Like royalty looking down on someone in the family for marrying a "peasant"
Segregation and uhh.... remember when pure blood wizards in Harry Potter looked down on marrying muggles and Voldemort was a product of Hapsburgs family escapades? Yeah switch out wizards with insert race here.
Well, Stockton’s dead now. Guess he got what he deserved.
18:36 As a Zoomer that's fucked up
HaaaaaaaaaaaH 😮
Ok i know zoomers are pretty anti-homeless but... think about whos raising the lot of them atm. Gen X mainly. Coming from a zoomer myself
5:02 does he know it’s actually a guy not a woman since they said fiancée not fiance
Could've been autocorrect. I've seen some nice guys stuff that showed that one and most refer to them as a woman.
Good thing I'm Native because f--- religion.
36:07
That one didn't age well.........
I'm a bit of a recluse and follow absolutely zero news. Also I'm a bit of an idiot so genuine curiosity here. How so?
@@DisorientedWanderer because Target actually is grooming kids with pride outfits.
My personal take: leave kids out of this sorta thing
This is to answer Nate’s comment about what we facepalm me *FREAKING APHMAU’S BLIND COMMENT SECTION* so Aphmau *WAS* a CZcams I loved watching her roleplaying Minecraft videos but recently they’ve been so freak bad like they are cringe as all get out so I just stop watching her videos the older content is amazing be anything after say her rp stuff and all of that (i exactly don’t remember when it started getting extremely cringe but just take my advice and do not watch her content it’s so bad)