As someone who was adopted as an infant, and who has heard everything from, "Do you ever want to find your REAL family?" (to which I responded, "I don't think they're lost. I think they're at home with the cat. But I can text my dad to confirm if you're worried?") to, "I couldn't adopt. They're not REALLY your child, are they?" (Um, ouch.) it just warms my heart to hear you talk so lovingly and passionately about adoption. Thank you! 🥰
People are just so rude sometimes. My sister’s mother in law asked me “what’s wrong with having your own kids?” Because I plan on adopting. I always try to make it an educating moment instead of starting a fight (which is really hard because sometimes you just want to call someone a stupid twat)
Um... WOW! I’m adopted, and in my 46 years I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone express that later sentiment. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You pick your spouse... are they not really yours because you picked them? How is adoption all that different?
I wish people would stop talking about adoption like it was a leukemia diagnosis. I was adopted and it’s never bothered me for a moment. Ok, it was odd being raised by manatees but we all have our problems. Jokes aside, “parent” is more verb than noun. Raise the kids, love the kids, keep them away from Shannara books and all will be well. When kids discover/inquire about their adoption... just talk about it calmly and frankly. And beware manatees.
@DM Animation There are some kids who do a double-take when they are told; I've had a few tell me they felt deceived or tricked by their adopting parents. As with all weighty topics and kids, it's all in the handling. As stated, I never cared. My brother, though, was troubled it by it and eventually went looking. Our parents supported his quest on the condition that he ensure the One Ring be dest... uh... that he never tell them what he found. All sides honored the terms and he eventually got his answers. When he told me, I shrugged. :) Because, like Pierre, I just don't care.
I'm sure there are some people who are adopted that when they find out it's devastating, but I think a lot of the idea and I guess the perception of adoption comes from the TV. I was watching Chicago Med a couple seasons ago and one of the doctors has an adopted sister and she was adopted as a baby, but she feels abandoned so and so she's wild and does drugs and runs away. Or the whole thing with "The Secret Life of an American Teenager" where they basically say giving your child up for adoption means you don't care for it. I couldn't get past that episode. TV portrays adoption like the plague and it's annoying. Especially since they show IVF as the greatest thing ever and works 75% of the time when it doesn't.
Sometimes you know a person is sweet, kind and compassionate by the way someone talks during normal conversation. That's why I started following and watching you in the first place! The way you review books makes me feel like I'm hearing it from a friend rather than some kind of stranger on the other side of the planet ... But then a video like this happens and I'm just melting over how a kind and lovely human being you are. Thanks for being there, thanks for being a delight to the world and all the people around you. Just hoping you receive a lot of kindness and love back in return
As a gay person who wants kids (eventually) I have my heart set on adopting a slightly older child. Very few children over 10 years of age get adopted and will remain in foster care or orphanages (state run foster care basically) and then they become an "adult" at 18 and they're like "Welp, there you go! Good luck in the world!" And It just... Shocks me that we do that.
Thank you Merphy. It just breaks my heart that so many kids suffer a life of not knowing familial love just because they are "too old" for most adoptive parents. Every person is deserving of a loving family regardless of age ❤️
I love hearing you talk about adoption: you’re so passionate about it, and you clearly care so much about providing children with love. It’s really emotional and wholesome.
I got emotional when listening to your story about how your parents would let the kids in and care for them... So beautiful honestly. With parents like that, no wonder you've turned out to be such a loving and amazing person.
I loved both your tagents on adoption and on parenting and managing tantrums! I'm nowhere near being a parent but I'm sure I'll remember that advice once it becomes important :) And I find your approach to parenting and all the love you have to give very inspiring, thank you for sharing!
You gotta give Capaldi another chance! I hated him in his first season but he just kept getting better and better and now he’s one of my favorites. Him with Clara is just🤩
The story about your family creating a safe space for your teen friends was so heartwarming ❤️. It’s refreshing to hear that there are people out there who do this kind of stuff.
Oh my, I cried with your video! I bet one day your children will rewatch this and feel even more proud to have you as their mother. Keep doing what you do, the world needs more of that. The book part too, of course! :)
I love that you are so passionate about adoption! I’m a foster care case manager and I loveeeee finding families for these children that need love and stability. You’re wonderful and I thank you ❤️
That really does sound awesome, right!? 😅 I love dark mermaid stories. It’s weird how they both invert the trope and also get closer to the original stories at the same time? Can you subvert expectations while simultaneously staying true to source material? 😂 I love it!!
The story about your friends sleeping in your living room made me well up... stop it, random youtube lady! As for the reflux, my best friend is a bit overweight, has asthma and has reflux a lot. She can't really handle hot spices and the reflux will get worse when she eats chips for example that are spiced heavily (not hot, just a lot of spice). So yeah, maybe the spices are your problem here.
You’re an amazing parent! And I want to adopt a child too. Haven’t admitted this to anyone but yeah...apart from a biological child, i would as you said, like to provide a home for a child who deserves a family and a good home. Every child does. ❤️
That whole spiel about adoption is exactly why I'm trying to get in a place where I can foster. I can't explain, it's just something I've always knowni was called to do.
I love how your parents let your house be the place where your friends could go for safety. I was not adopted but worked with kids in the system and see how their lives are changed by love and safety. That's a great way to help when you might not be able to adopt.
That was really great parenting strategy! My daughter is also prone to fits, and your philosophy makes so much sense. I come for the books, and I leave with some tips I can try with my daughter (2 birds with 1 stone)... Thanks!!! PS - As someone who was adopted as an infant, it is so refreshing to hear that you and your family are so open to adoption (and speaking publicly about your adoption journey and helping to normalize adoption in people's minds). It really touches me to hear your thoughts and feelings about adoption and kids.
Your thoughts on adoption were so similar to mine... I am still 21 ans single right now though but yaa I would love to adopt when I am at that time in my life...
I can't have kids for medical reasons, so I want to adopt when I'm older. I love that you're so passionate about it. I feel the same way. I want to give kids a good home. I wanna see pics of the pink buzzcut. Need to see you like that.
I’m married to a photographer too and... I feel you. I feel so awkward when he points that camera at me. Also I’m so glad you love Tennant and Smith as the Doctor...Eccleston is underrated. “Where’s my mummy?”
When I moved out of my parents’ house, my Mom told me, “Remember when you start to stress about housework. There’s a difference between messy and dirty. If it’s messy for ages, of course it will become dirty. But don’t overdo and tax yourself so it’s neat all the time. As long as it’s not dirty, look to yourself first.” And now, yeah, I really see the difference, lol. Since I’m chronically ill, it’s really hard sometimes to keep things even halfway acceptable in my mind, and for about a month and a half I was in bed with a bad back, just living in my room as things got worse. But I did what I could to make sure even then, while it was RIDICULOUSLY messy, it wasn’t dirty, and it helped me not stress too much. I always find it interesting to find people who are perfectionistic in themselves and their tasks, preferring routine and order, but who are also laid back in their personalities. They tend to better handle the line of messy and dirty and prioritize accordingly. They’ll have it neat if possible, sure thing, but they tend to not become anxious if things aren’t as tidy as they’d like.
My dad, who is an engineer, says that the optimist says it half full, the pessimist says it half empty, and the engineer says it’s twice as large as it needs to be.
I had an interesting convo with my psychologist brother about that. People kind of get a bad rap for “being negative,” about things, when in some cases, they’re assessing a bad situation and being honest about it, and figuring out what they’ve got to work with and what tools are missing. For certain personality types, only after a thorough inventory of a situation is done and someone processes, can they then work toward a solution. But this makes optimists uncomfortable, especially if the assessor has a history of depression, anxiety, etc. In an effort to make them feel better, they tell the assessor they’re looking at it wrong, which doesn’t validate what can be a perfectly accurate assessment, teaching them to not reach out to others, because they’ll only be made to feel worse about what they already assess to be bad situations. Inadvertently, even therapists can fall into that trap. Knowing when someone IS being a pessimist and when someone is being a realist about a very bad set of circumstances is really important. An optimist sees themselves as a glass halfway to greatness. A pessimist sees themselves as halfway to failure. A realist sees that without moving in one direction or the other, they’ll will never be more or less than what they are, and that it’s the circumstances that make it a bad thing. Meanwhile, the therapist makes notes to figure out what the patient’s parents thought of the whole situation. 😅
I think it's circumstances and perception? If the glass was full and you poured half out then yes the glass if now half empty because the state is different in that way. But if the glass was full and you filled it up only half way then it would be half full because that's all the water that's been in the glass. So I don't think it's an all or nothing thing.
That's really awesome about your parents letting your friends come over at any time without question. Kids, especially in troubled homes, really need a safe place they know they can go and be taken in. It probably helped some of these kids so much just having a place they can go and be loved and taken care of so willingly. I really like that you want to follow in their footsteps by being a parent to so many kids that desperately need a good parent in their life.
I love your positivity in videos and also you really inspire me to go and do things! What your parents did and well do is amazing, I have very similar views like you on adoption and you talking bout it made me bit tear up. Really great video!
I appreciate your longer thoughtful answers! My 35 year old daughter and I watch Bachelor via skype and have done so for over a decade. She lives in Houston with her hubby and 3 children and I am in Denver. It started as a fun show to share when she was still a college student --- wine and giggles over the ridiculous drama, and now it is a way we stay connected long distance.
I have never heard someone explain my feelings about David Tennant and Matt Smith as The Doctor better in my LIFE; you worded that so perfectly. They’re both incredible and I’ve never been able to choose which one I liked more because they’re so different and yet both so perfectly The Doctor through and through.
As a gay person who's very environmentally conscious I decided years ago that I'll never have a biological kid, since the planet is so overpopulated. And I had basically decided not to be a parent at all (which would not be a big deal to me). However, hearing you speak about adoption with such passion has made me realise I may want to adopt at some point in my life. Depending on my life situation in 10 years from now, I may very well look into that! Thank you Merphy🧡
I commend your parents so much for looking after kids who come from homes with problems. Yea if kids are showing up in the middle of the night, obviously something bad is going on in there. Also congrats on being passionate about adopting :)
Yes, watching booktube and finding great books has kept me reading and using my library more often, so it's great. I also don't understand the bad attitude some people have towards adoption, it's a beautiful thing you're doing, giving a child a family. Also random, but you posted this on my birthday. :)
I feel exactly the same about Doctor Who. Couldn't sit through Peter Capaldi as the Doctor and stopped watching. My favourite companion is Donna though because she was hilarious and was the only person that didn't fall in love with David Tennant.
Oh my gosh merphy! I just started watching the bachelor for like the first time in 10 years and your confession makes me feel so much better about watching it 😂 because every time I am not reading I literally think to myself “I should be reading. Merphy spends all her free time reading I should be doing the same” lol
I'm expecting you to change your channel name to Okay So at some point soon. Edit: I just finished watching this and it was a great video. A+. Great job. But I came back to comment on your bit at the end about having some clutter and whatnot. Tim Chester in A Meal With Jesus (a book on hospitality that is wonderful... or maybe this was in Total Church... I don't remember), has a really interesting bit on how a bit of clutter and a little bit of a mess might actually be a good thing. Just an interesting tidbit. I highly suggest both of those, but especially A Meal With Jesus.
If you want to read Terry Pratchett, I recommend starting with the 3rd Discworld book, Equal Rites, and working your way through the series from there (because you'll want tp read all of his books after you start). The 1st and 2nd books are good satires on the fantasy genre, he has a great sense of humor, but it's only from the 3rd book onward that you can feel what a genius he was with emotions and life. From Equal Rites on I laughed out loud, cried, and had to pause to think about life every other page in almost all of his books. No other author was able to make me react like this in just one book. Another great one to start the series if you want to know what Pratchett is about is Small Gods. It's deep, full of delicious historic jokes and the end... If the end doesn't make you cry, you're not human, period. And he doesn't make you cry sad tears, but they aren't happy tears either... I think they're wholesome tears, if that makes any sense. I can't describe the feeling I had reading this book better than that, sorry. (It might sound like I cry easily, but I don't - that's just how good he is.) Any of his books with the witches are also great. And I've only read half of the Discworld series so far (there are 41 books, if I'm not mistaken), so there might be better books in this series waiting for me and for you. I can't wait to read them all! But I've imposed a limit on myself to only read 1 Discworld a month, otherwise I wouldn't read anything else for a whole year. '^^ And on a completly different note... I loved listening to your family stories. My family wasn't so great, to put it lightly, and it restores my faith in humanity to know that there are people who know how to be great parents out there. I wish I had people like your parents in my life when I was growing up. Keep being your awesome you and spreading that love around. The world needs more people like that.
My own reticence to adopt is completely due to my own personal failings of feeling whether or not I was capable of doing it. It was not a very major thought for my wife and I since we had two children of our own, but we also felt that it is a major decision and if one is not 100‰ up for it, then it is actually the more loving decision to not go through it. I praise the Lord for your passion and desire for it, Merphy. It is the nobler path and I pray for your enriched joy in the endeavor. I get the impression that for your approach to life and adoption, the gift of your faith is a deep root for that passion. That will be a blessing for your children to be witnesses.
This video was so precious, you sharing how much you want to give and to love! So happy that your parents are such amazing people. Love your honesty, an amazing perspective on life. It’s truly inspiring. I’m gay and will look into adopting in the future, and I share the same view about why create more children when there are children in need already!
for me the podium is Capaldi-Tennant-Smith. But deep down the doctor I feel the most is Hartnell. Grumpy, acting superior, getting engaged by mistake, totally me 😂
I simultaneously wish I had had your parents in my life as a child, and I want to be them now that I am grown. I'm an elementary school nurse in an underprivileged school, and I try to be that safe place for my kids. My greatest point of pride is when kids come to me when they need a safe space. I've had a little guy run for my office to escape a fight. When he gets upset he always throws up and cannot find words. So we will sit and breath and do grounding exercises until his feelings reach a verbal place in his brain. Being that safe place is my highest personal and professional accomplishment. I salute your parents and am deeply, deeply grateful for people like them. Thank them for me.:)
Not photogenic? Merphy, that's what draws people to your videos in the first place. What keeps bringing us back is your passion for reading and life in general that comes through in your commentary.
Edit: Guards! Guards! Start with that Pratchett! It's so awesome! Thank you for being a strong example of healthy and confident survivorship. And for being a good example of a kind, positive, generous human being.
I just hauled the first two books of Wheel of Time and can´t wait to get started. A bit scared though since I´m a fantasy newbie and I know this series is quite heavy. And 14 books is A LOT 😅
@@Наиля-о7к a lot of those are originally unpublished/unfinished works I don't recommend reading all of the extra stories unless you are the biggest of lotr fans.
@@nlnrose I haven´t read the original trilogy yet but that is definitely on my to-read list for this or next year. But wow, I had no idea this universe is so extensive 😀Just started reading fantasy at the end of las year so I'm just now discovering all these classics of the genre.
My parents' house was exactly the same; we were a haven for my friends and my brother's friends. They could come any time with no notice and they would be fed, loved and listened to. And I LOVE the latest Doctor!
I just gotta say I 💙 the "okay so," both you saying it and it on the screen. It's been making me have a short little giggle each time I see it. As a "thing" or a "gimmick" it's a nice one to have. I like!
Merphy, your parents sound a lot like mine: _pretty_ _darned_ _awesome!_ I've lost track of how many of my or my sister's friends (often the same thing back then) stayed at our house on the short term (a night or two) or even long term (weeks to months; one girl lived with us for 16 months, and my parents had never met her until 3 days after she started staying in the house). There has to have been at least half a dozen of them who lived with us in the "long term" over the years. And all our friends called my parents "Mom" and "Dad" not "Mrs" and "Mr Myron." (Now a grandfather, my dad likes to be called "G-Pa," he says it's his "street name"). And the standing rule my parents always had was if you were there when dinner was ready to be served, you ate. Mom rarely took "no" for an answer on this. Of course, there are differences, I'm sure. My parents allowed us and our friends to do some things they probably shouldn't have, at least not as the laws were at the time (things are different in Michigan now, and Colorado and California and Washington, etc...you get the picture). They would let that go on for a while upstairs with all our friends, and then after 30 minutes or so after all the coughing had subsided, they would call everyone down and put them to work doing dishes or other such housework. And get this, all our friends would do it, without question or complaint. Even if this was their first time meeting our parents.
I just feel compelled to say (I know it was deeply personal, but thank you so much for sharing...) that I loved what you said about your parents and how they opened their home to other kids. As someone who came from a troubled home, and someone who worked with a lot of teens from troubled homes, I witnessed first hand how powerful one person can be in that childs life. All it takes is ONE person to show that child that there is a better way to live, and it can completely transform their future. It takes incredible people like your parents to be so selfless, and please tell them that I am sending a huge hug...to you for your passion to make a difference in a childs life, and to to your parents for instilling that in you....thank you, thank you, thank you
The bit about you wanting to be a parent to as many kids as possible and adoption. So inspiring. That is much needed in this world for people like you. Lots of love!
Spicy food lovers unite. My sister has the same problem with her husband. She would make something that wasn't even spicy to her and he would be dying. He's getting better but his parents still can't handle any of it. Its something I always have to remember come holiday dinner time.
Your parents (or as you describe them) are so goal level. We foster and have small children, so open door isn't available yet, but I really hope that love/safety/care/availability is the impression our kids' friends have to our home.
You need to watch Capaldi’s episodes! I was sad when Matt Smith left and didn’t think I’d like Capaldi. But once you get used to him as the new doctor he has really great episodes too! The story momentum definite continues with his doctor. And I loved Clara as a companion. I think she was definitely my favourite so far.
You should totally watch Jodie's Doctor (and I'm saying this as someone who really enjoyed Capaldi), I love the interactions between her and her companions as well (also...I don't want to spoil who he plays, but Sascha Dhawan is PERFECTLY cast as...someone...lol)
@@Morfeusm There are mixed opinions about her first season (although I'd argue the Rosa Parks episode is one of the best of New Who), but season 2 has been right on form so far (especially...Mr Dhawan...I really wish there was a way to say who he was without HUGE spoilers lol). Also, I just find it hilarious that they've got the villain from Timeless in one of the episodes lol
Blair Witchdorf The show Doctor Who! Every few seasons the doctor regenerates which changes the actor and personality of the doctor which is referenced by the actors name: "Jodie" is Jodie Whittaker and "Capaldi" is Peter Capaldi, who play different versions of the doctor in the newest seasons
@@SarahEgertson Well done for explaining that, occasionally I nerd out so much I forget not everyone has the same depth of pointless information as I do XD
Yeah, because a temper tantrum is not always just a child trying to get their way, but sometimes just them trying to get their mind straight, and sometimes the parent arguing back does not help any, but adds to the confusion.
You are amazing! I have an adopted brother and could never have have put adoption in any way as amazing as you explained why its so great. Never heard anyone put it that way before and was emotional to here! Also that story about your house always being open for anyone when you was younger sounds like a cool setup for a story 😁😁
My whole outlook on the world used to be positive, but that changed when I realized I will never be capable of becoming the person my soul tells me I am. Because my soul only lies. When I focus on all the amazing things about me, my hopes and dreams, and I'm not even capable of taking one step forward toward it, I just stop caring. But that horrible sense of hope, just will not go away, farever teasing me with something that will never come.
One of my student's family just adopted their foster child. They had a lot of legal hookups, but they made it official last May. A couple of my students are also adopted. Both came from very difficult situations and now have a loving and caring home. There are so many children out there who would be happy to have you for a mom. :)
Parent of a lot of people. I really like that sentiment. I don't ever want kids, but I want to be that parent for a lot of people too. I want to always be there for my nephew and my friends and their kids and my pets. I've got a lot of love to give, just not in the traditional sense. :)
My cousin and her husband have been fostering kids for three years and they’re just now adopting their first foster child. It’s really one of the best things anyone can do in my opinion. I can’t wait to see the vlogs of your new child!
Woah, you guys watch Doctor Who?! I didn’t even know non british people knew about it! Thats so cool! FYI David Tennent is the best, especially with Donna Noble! 😂😂
Such a good video. I loved the passionate tangents and your parents sound like such wonderful humans and that's really sweet that you aspire to be like them. I hope they watch your videos because this would probably really warm their hearts to see you telling the whole internet how great you think they are
I am the same with The Doctor! I think Matt Smith is my favorite (River was definitely my character), but like it took me so long to get there and I really loved Ten too.
Just want to say that I've been following you for about a year, and have never encountered such a inspiring youtuber. You have a unique creativity and a lovely personality that makes me enjoy every single one of your videos. Keep up the good work and congrats on almost 100k subs! You deserve it. 😊
It's so beautiful seeing somebody so passionate about motherhood and adoption. I've always wanted to be a dad and I'd love to adopt and this just encourages me to pursue that (but in the future... I'm only 22).
I feel like I'm the person you used to be, and you're the person I've started striving to be. I'm lucky to find someone who is so similar to me in a lot of ways and watch you grow further as I grow as well
I really love to listen to you talking about the topics that are important to you. Especially your passion to serve other people is inspiring. Please share more if it‘s not to private for you. And I would Love to see some pictures of your buzzcut/growing out phase.
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As someone who was adopted as an infant, and who has heard everything from, "Do you ever want to find your REAL family?" (to which I responded, "I don't think they're lost. I think they're at home with the cat. But I can text my dad to confirm if you're worried?") to, "I couldn't adopt. They're not REALLY your child, are they?" (Um, ouch.) it just warms my heart to hear you talk so lovingly and passionately about adoption. Thank you! 🥰
I'm sorry you've gotten those comments. It honestly amazes me the things people say about adoption 😢
People are just so rude sometimes. My sister’s mother in law asked me “what’s wrong with having your own kids?” Because I plan on adopting. I always try to make it an educating moment instead of starting a fight (which is really hard because sometimes you just want to call someone a stupid twat)
Um... WOW! I’m adopted, and in my 46 years I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone express that later sentiment. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You pick your spouse... are they not really yours because you picked them? How is adoption all that different?
@paula every viewpoint is legitimate of course, but saying in it is a bit rude😬
People are so rude! I want to adopt like 3 kids when im older and its the commitment that makes you a parent not just giving birth to one.
I wish people would stop talking about adoption like it was a leukemia diagnosis. I was adopted and it’s never bothered me for a moment. Ok, it was odd being raised by manatees but we all have our problems.
Jokes aside, “parent” is more verb than noun. Raise the kids, love the kids, keep them away from Shannara books and all will be well. When kids discover/inquire about their adoption... just talk about it calmly and frankly.
And beware manatees.
Are the Shannara books bad?
@@supershinigami1 Are manatees fat?
Yes.
@DM Animation There are some kids who do a double-take when they are told; I've had a few tell me they felt deceived or tricked by their adopting parents. As with all weighty topics and kids, it's all in the handling. As stated, I never cared. My brother, though, was troubled it by it and eventually went looking. Our parents supported his quest on the condition that he ensure the One Ring be dest... uh... that he never tell them what he found. All sides honored the terms and he eventually got his answers.
When he told me, I shrugged. :) Because, like Pierre, I just don't care.
@@georgeheingartner6995 If they were that bad there wouldn't be that many series in this universe, would there?
It even got a tv show.
I'm sure there are some people who are adopted that when they find out it's devastating, but I think a lot of the idea and I guess the perception of adoption comes from the TV.
I was watching Chicago Med a couple seasons ago and one of the doctors has an adopted sister and she was adopted as a baby, but she feels abandoned so and so she's wild and does drugs and runs away. Or the whole thing with "The Secret Life of an American Teenager" where they basically say giving your child up for adoption means you don't care for it. I couldn't get past that episode.
TV portrays adoption like the plague and it's annoying. Especially since they show IVF as the greatest thing ever and works 75% of the time when it doesn't.
"I'm not photogenic" - Merphy
*Literally glowing through the screen*
I feel like I do better filming than I do having my picture taken haha. But thank you 🙂
I think the word you're looking for is *"radiant."*
@@TheGeekyHippie it was but I wanted to be dramatic and use more words
@@TheGeekyHippie But has she spoken the words?
Took me a second Witch Sorrowful, but I got it. (Make that a long second, but still).
The question I have, what sort of spren does she have?
"I don't know how to talk about it without crying"
I don't know how to listen to you talk about it without crying
Try thinking about baseball... oh wait... that's a different thing
Merphy's parents are Mr and Mrs Weasley confirmed.
Let's add this to things I never would've thought of but make total sense.
I love how you started putting in “okay so” 😂
Sometimes you know a person is sweet, kind and compassionate by the way someone talks during normal conversation. That's why I started following and watching you in the first place! The way you review books makes me feel like I'm hearing it from a friend rather than some kind of stranger on the other side of the planet ... But then a video like this happens and I'm just melting over how a kind and lovely human being you are. Thanks for being there, thanks for being a delight to the world and all the people around you. Just hoping you receive a lot of kindness and love back in return
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
As a gay person who wants kids (eventually) I have my heart set on adopting a slightly older child.
Very few children over 10 years of age get adopted and will remain in foster care or orphanages (state run foster care basically) and then they become an "adult" at 18 and they're like "Welp, there you go! Good luck in the world!"
And It just... Shocks me that we do that.
Yes that's so true. It's so sad. I love that you want to adopt an older child❤️
Thank you Merphy. It just breaks my heart that so many kids suffer a life of not knowing familial love just because they are "too old" for most adoptive parents. Every person is deserving of a loving family regardless of age ❤️
I love hearing you talk about adoption: you’re so passionate about it, and you clearly care so much about providing children with love. It’s really emotional and wholesome.
Thank you ❤️
I got emotional when listening to your story about how your parents would let the kids in and care for them... So beautiful honestly. With parents like that, no wonder you've turned out to be such a loving and amazing person.
Thank you ❤️
I loved both your tagents on adoption and on parenting and managing tantrums! I'm nowhere near being a parent but I'm sure I'll remember that advice once it becomes important :) And I find your approach to parenting and all the love you have to give very inspiring, thank you for sharing!
You gotta give Capaldi another chance! I hated him in his first season but he just kept getting better and better and now he’s one of my favorites. Him with Clara is just🤩
hold up- you had a buzz cut? and you dyed it pink? that's so cool I have to see it
that would look... weird, very weird.
you talking about adoption made me cry. i wish nothing but the best for your family :)
Adopting three kids is the hardest and best thing I've ever done. More power to you!
The story about your family creating a safe space for your teen friends was so heartwarming ❤️. It’s refreshing to hear that there are people out there who do this kind of stuff.
Oh my, I cried with your video! I bet one day your children will rewatch this and feel even more proud to have you as their mother. Keep doing what you do, the world needs more of that. The book part too, of course! :)
I love that you are so passionate about adoption! I’m a foster care case manager and I loveeeee finding families for these children that need love and stability. You’re wonderful and I thank you ❤️
I NEED YOUR KILLER MERMAID NOVELLA IN MY LIFE 🧜♀️
That really does sound awesome, right!? 😅 I love dark mermaid stories. It’s weird how they both invert the trope and also get closer to the original stories at the same time? Can you subvert expectations while simultaneously staying true to source material? 😂 I love it!!
I'm glad I found your channel. You're such a positive energy!
Thank you ❤️
@@merphynapier42 No, thank YOU! :)
The story about your friends sleeping in your living room made me well up... stop it, random youtube lady!
As for the reflux, my best friend is a bit overweight, has asthma and has reflux a lot. She can't really handle hot spices and the reflux will get worse when she eats chips for example that are spiced heavily (not hot, just a lot of spice). So yeah, maybe the spices are your problem here.
Hearing you talk so passionately about adoption is heartwarming as hell. You go girl!
You’re an amazing parent! And I want to adopt a child too. Haven’t admitted this to anyone but yeah...apart from a biological child, i would as you said, like to provide a home for a child who deserves a family and a good home. Every child does. ❤️
Aaaaaiiigg * broken heart*. I loved Capaldi, especially his dynamic with Jenna Coleman.
That whole spiel about adoption is exactly why I'm trying to get in a place where I can foster. I can't explain, it's just something I've always knowni was called to do.
I love how your parents let your house be the place where your friends could go for safety. I was not adopted but worked with kids in the system and see how their lives are changed by love and safety. That's a great way to help when you might not be able to adopt.
That was really great parenting strategy! My daughter is also prone to fits, and your philosophy makes so much sense. I come for the books, and I leave with some tips I can try with my daughter (2 birds with 1 stone)... Thanks!!!
PS - As someone who was adopted as an infant, it is so refreshing to hear that you and your family are so open to adoption (and speaking publicly about your adoption journey and helping to normalize adoption in people's minds). It really touches me to hear your thoughts and feelings about adoption and kids.
My younger brother is adopted and he is my world. I love him so much. Adoption is my chosen method to children if I decide I do want them.
Your thoughts on adoption were so similar to mine... I am still 21 ans single right now though but yaa I would love to adopt when I am at that time in my life...
I can't have kids for medical reasons, so I want to adopt when I'm older. I love that you're so passionate about it. I feel the same way. I want to give kids a good home.
I wanna see pics of the pink buzzcut. Need to see you like that.
I’m married to a photographer too and... I feel you. I feel so awkward when he points that camera at me.
Also I’m so glad you love Tennant and Smith as the Doctor...Eccleston is underrated. “Where’s my mummy?”
When I moved out of my parents’ house, my Mom told me, “Remember when you start to stress about housework. There’s a difference between messy and dirty. If it’s messy for ages, of course it will become dirty. But don’t overdo and tax yourself so it’s neat all the time. As long as it’s not dirty, look to yourself first.”
And now, yeah, I really see the difference, lol. Since I’m chronically ill, it’s really hard sometimes to keep things even halfway acceptable in my mind, and for about a month and a half I was in bed with a bad back, just living in my room as things got worse. But I did what I could to make sure even then, while it was RIDICULOUSLY messy, it wasn’t dirty, and it helped me not stress too much.
I always find it interesting to find people who are perfectionistic in themselves and their tasks, preferring routine and order, but who are also laid back in their personalities. They tend to better handle the line of messy and dirty and prioritize accordingly. They’ll have it neat if possible, sure thing, but they tend to not become anxious if things aren’t as tidy as they’d like.
I love Terry Pratchett - will be very interested to see what you think of his books. And I loved Matt Smith's Doctor Who.
Life is too short to spend it decluttering.
I've always said:
an optimist sees the glass as half full
a pessimist sees the glass as half empty
a realist realises it's both
I prefer to see it as completly full, half of liquid and half of gas. Life seems more interesting from this point of view. ^^
My dad, who is an engineer, says that the optimist says it half full,
the pessimist says it half empty,
and the engineer says it’s twice as large as it needs to be.
I had an interesting convo with my psychologist brother about that. People kind of get a bad rap for “being negative,” about things, when in some cases, they’re assessing a bad situation and being honest about it, and figuring out what they’ve got to work with and what tools are missing. For certain personality types, only after a thorough inventory of a situation is done and someone processes, can they then work toward a solution.
But this makes optimists uncomfortable, especially if the assessor has a history of depression, anxiety, etc. In an effort to make them feel better, they tell the assessor they’re looking at it wrong, which doesn’t validate what can be a perfectly accurate assessment, teaching them to not reach out to others, because they’ll only be made to feel worse about what they already assess to be bad situations.
Inadvertently, even therapists can fall into that trap. Knowing when someone IS being a pessimist and when someone is being a realist about a very bad set of circumstances is really important.
An optimist sees themselves as a glass halfway to greatness.
A pessimist sees themselves as halfway to failure.
A realist sees that without moving in one direction or the other, they’ll will never be more or less than what they are, and that it’s the circumstances that make it a bad thing.
Meanwhile, the therapist makes notes to figure out what the patient’s parents thought of the whole situation. 😅
I prefer to change perspective. If a glass is half full or half empty, get a smaller glass. Now it's full.
I think it's circumstances and perception? If the glass was full and you poured half out then yes the glass if now half empty because the state is different in that way. But if the glass was full and you filled it up only half way then it would be half full because that's all the water that's been in the glass. So I don't think it's an all or nothing thing.
That's really awesome about your parents letting your friends come over at any time without question. Kids, especially in troubled homes, really need a safe place they know they can go and be taken in. It probably helped some of these kids so much just having a place they can go and be loved and taken care of so willingly. I really like that you want to follow in their footsteps by being a parent to so many kids that desperately need a good parent in their life.
You should read The Family That Nobody Wanted! It's about a family that adopts like 14 kids, it's great!
That sounds like a great book!
That’s not only optimistic, it’s quite resilient. The attitude of “the harder I work the luckier I get”
These videos always feel very motivational and I never expect it going in 😂
That Mistborn Leatherbound is really shining on your shelf. That book is beautiful
I love your positivity in videos and also you really inspire me to go and do things! What your parents did and well do is amazing, I have very similar views like you on adoption and you talking bout it made me bit tear up. Really great video!
I appreciate your longer thoughtful answers! My 35 year old daughter and I watch Bachelor via skype and have done so for over a decade. She lives in Houston with her hubby and 3 children and I am in Denver. It started as a fun show to share when she was still a college student --- wine and giggles over the ridiculous drama, and now it is a way we stay connected long distance.
This is so precious and wholesome.
I have never heard someone explain my feelings about David Tennant and Matt Smith as The Doctor better in my LIFE; you worded that so perfectly. They’re both incredible and I’ve never been able to choose which one I liked more because they’re so different and yet both so perfectly The Doctor through and through.
As a gay person who's very environmentally conscious I decided years ago that I'll never have a biological kid, since the planet is so overpopulated. And I had basically decided not to be a parent at all (which would not be a big deal to me). However, hearing you speak about adoption with such passion has made me realise I may want to adopt at some point in my life. Depending on my life situation in 10 years from now, I may very well look into that! Thank you Merphy🧡
It's actually not overpopulated. If every nation had the technology of say, Netherlands, our current population would be tenable.
@@davidbowles7281 Overpopulation is a porblem in poor countries because kids are used as a form of retirement back up.
@@sunwukong5518 Yes. The problem is poor countries. I just said that. Unequal distribution of technology.
I commend your parents so much for looking after kids who come from homes with problems. Yea if kids are showing up in the middle of the night, obviously something bad is going on in there. Also congrats on being passionate about adopting :)
Yes, watching booktube and finding great books has kept me reading and using my library more often, so it's great.
I also don't understand the bad attitude some people have towards adoption, it's a beautiful thing you're doing, giving a child a family.
Also random, but you posted this on my birthday. :)
Happy birthday! ❤️
@@thelibrarianofalexandria6200 Thank you! 😊💜
I had no idea what the assumption at 17:25 ment and yet I just watched you gush about it for 5 minutes lol
"You love vegetables."
(tearfully) I sure do.
I always say to be the calm when they storm. You as a parent become a safe harbor when life doesn’t make sense anymore
Give Capaldi another go, he's great!
I feel exactly the same about Doctor Who. Couldn't sit through Peter Capaldi as the Doctor and stopped watching. My favourite companion is Donna though because she was hilarious and was the only person that didn't fall in love with David Tennant.
Oh my gosh merphy! I just started watching the bachelor for like the first time in 10 years and your confession makes me feel so much better about watching it 😂 because every time I am not reading I literally think to myself “I should be reading. Merphy spends all her free time reading I should be doing the same” lol
You are so aloud to enjoy a show sometimes too! Also, THE DRAMA this season is already wild. Peter is too nice, he believes everyone!! Haha. I love it
I'm expecting you to change your channel name to Okay So at some point soon.
Edit: I just finished watching this and it was a great video. A+. Great job. But I came back to comment on your bit at the end about having some clutter and whatnot. Tim Chester in A Meal With Jesus (a book on hospitality that is wonderful... or maybe this was in Total Church... I don't remember), has a really interesting bit on how a bit of clutter and a little bit of a mess might actually be a good thing. Just an interesting tidbit. I highly suggest both of those, but especially A Meal With Jesus.
Oh thank you! I'll look those books up.
And I'm now VERY tempted to change my channel name to that
If you want to read Terry Pratchett, I recommend starting with the 3rd Discworld book, Equal Rites, and working your way through the series from there (because you'll want tp read all of his books after you start). The 1st and 2nd books are good satires on the fantasy genre, he has a great sense of humor, but it's only from the 3rd book onward that you can feel what a genius he was with emotions and life. From Equal Rites on I laughed out loud, cried, and had to pause to think about life every other page in almost all of his books. No other author was able to make me react like this in just one book.
Another great one to start the series if you want to know what Pratchett is about is Small Gods. It's deep, full of delicious historic jokes and the end... If the end doesn't make you cry, you're not human, period. And he doesn't make you cry sad tears, but they aren't happy tears either... I think they're wholesome tears, if that makes any sense. I can't describe the feeling I had reading this book better than that, sorry. (It might sound like I cry easily, but I don't - that's just how good he is.)
Any of his books with the witches are also great.
And I've only read half of the Discworld series so far (there are 41 books, if I'm not mistaken), so there might be better books in this series waiting for me and for you. I can't wait to read them all! But I've imposed a limit on myself to only read 1 Discworld a month, otherwise I wouldn't read anything else for a whole year. '^^
And on a completly different note...
I loved listening to your family stories. My family wasn't so great, to put it lightly, and it restores my faith in humanity to know that there are people who know how to be great parents out there. I wish I had people like your parents in my life when I was growing up. Keep being your awesome you and spreading that love around. The world needs more people like that.
My own reticence to adopt is completely due to my own personal failings of feeling whether or not I was capable of doing it. It was not a very major thought for my wife and I since we had two children of our own, but we also felt that it is a major decision and if one is not 100‰ up for it, then it is actually the more loving decision to not go through it.
I praise the Lord for your passion and desire for it, Merphy. It is the nobler path and I pray for your enriched joy in the endeavor.
I get the impression that for your approach to life and adoption, the gift of your faith is a deep root for that passion. That will be a blessing for your children to be witnesses.
OMG! I love spicy food...given that I’m Indian...i can handle spice. Yay! If I ever get to have lunch with u...it wud definitely be spicy. 😊
Yea! Pratchett, Pratchett, Pratchett! Favorite author. Though strength in the philosophy more than the action.
This video was so precious, you sharing how much you want to give and to love! So happy that your parents are such amazing people. Love your honesty, an amazing perspective on life. It’s truly inspiring. I’m gay and will look into adopting in the future, and I share the same view about why create more children when there are children in need already!
for me the podium is Capaldi-Tennant-Smith. But deep down the doctor I feel the most is Hartnell. Grumpy, acting superior, getting engaged by mistake, totally me 😂
I simultaneously wish I had had your parents in my life as a child, and I want to be them now that I am grown. I'm an elementary school nurse in an underprivileged school, and I try to be that safe place for my kids. My greatest point of pride is when kids come to me when they need a safe space. I've had a little guy run for my office to escape a fight. When he gets upset he always throws up and cannot find words. So we will sit and breath and do grounding exercises until his feelings reach a verbal place in his brain. Being that safe place is my highest personal and professional accomplishment. I salute your parents and am deeply, deeply grateful for people like them. Thank them for me.:)
Not photogenic? Merphy, that's what draws people to your videos in the first place. What keeps bringing us back is your passion for reading and life in general that comes through in your commentary.
Edit: Guards! Guards! Start with that Pratchett! It's so awesome!
Thank you for being a strong example of healthy and confident survivorship. And for being a good example of a kind, positive, generous human being.
I got super emotional when you started talking about adoption 😭😭💙! Glad to know there’s people like you in the world
Yes! Classic Who!! Go for it, Merphy!! So many great stories and Doctors to love. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the original series. 😀
I just hauled the first two books of Wheel of Time and can´t wait to get started. A bit scared though since I´m a fantasy newbie and I know this series is quite heavy. And 14 books is A LOT 😅
@DM Animation Damn. 30+!!?? What the hell 😅
@@Наиля-о7к a lot of those are originally unpublished/unfinished works I don't recommend reading all of the extra stories unless you are the biggest of lotr fans.
@@nlnrose I haven´t read the original trilogy yet but that is definitely on my to-read list for this or next year. But wow, I had no idea this universe is so extensive 😀Just started reading fantasy at the end of las year so I'm just now discovering all these classics of the genre.
Free advice: Make Notes!
I also want to adopt a child when I start my own family!
My parents' house was exactly the same; we were a haven for my friends and my brother's friends. They could come any time with no notice and they would be fed, loved and listened to. And I LOVE the latest Doctor!
I just gotta say I 💙 the "okay so," both you saying it and it on the screen. It's been making me have a short little giggle each time I see it. As a "thing" or a "gimmick" it's a nice one to have. I like!
Merphy, your parents sound a lot like mine: _pretty_ _darned_ _awesome!_ I've lost track of how many of my or my sister's friends (often the same thing back then) stayed at our house on the short term (a night or two) or even long term (weeks to months; one girl lived with us for 16 months, and my parents had never met her until 3 days after she started staying in the house). There has to have been at least half a dozen of them who lived with us in the "long term" over the years. And all our friends called my parents "Mom" and "Dad" not "Mrs" and "Mr Myron." (Now a grandfather, my dad likes to be called "G-Pa," he says it's his "street name").
And the standing rule my parents always had was if you were there when dinner was ready to be served, you ate. Mom rarely took "no" for an answer on this.
Of course, there are differences, I'm sure. My parents allowed us and our friends to do some things they probably shouldn't have, at least not as the laws were at the time (things are different in Michigan now, and Colorado and California and Washington, etc...you get the picture). They would let that go on for a while upstairs with all our friends, and then after 30 minutes or so after all the coughing had subsided, they would call everyone down and put them to work doing dishes or other such housework. And get this, all our friends would do it, without question or complaint. Even if this was their first time meeting our parents.
if there were more people that care about children like merph does, this would be a whole different world
I just feel compelled to say (I know it was deeply personal, but thank you so much for sharing...) that I loved what you said about your parents and how they opened their home to other kids. As someone who came from a troubled home, and someone who worked with a lot of teens from troubled homes, I witnessed first hand how powerful one person can be in that childs life. All it takes is ONE person to show that child that there is a better way to live, and it can completely transform their future. It takes incredible people like your parents to be so selfless, and please tell them that I am sending a huge hug...to you for your passion to make a difference in a childs life, and to to your parents for instilling that in you....thank you, thank you, thank you
The bit about you wanting to be a parent to as many kids as possible and adoption. So inspiring. That is much needed in this world for people like you. Lots of love!
Spicy food lovers unite. My sister has the same problem with her husband. She would make something that wasn't even spicy to her and he would be dying. He's getting better but his parents still can't handle any of it. Its something I always have to remember come holiday dinner time.
Your parents (or as you describe them) are so goal level. We foster and have small children, so open door isn't available yet, but I really hope that love/safety/care/availability is the impression our kids' friends have to our home.
Your parents are amazing! Now I understand where your beautiful morality came from.
God bless them ❤️
You need to watch Capaldi’s episodes! I was sad when Matt Smith left and didn’t think I’d like Capaldi. But once you get used to him as the new doctor he has really great episodes too! The story momentum definite continues with his doctor. And I loved Clara as a companion. I think she was definitely my favourite so far.
adri2663 I agree!!! Heaven Sent is my favorite episode of new who and Hell Bent ends their arc perfectly as well! Never fail to make me cry!
SarahEgertson omg yes! He has some of the most heart wrenching episodes of all 💔
You should totally watch Jodie's Doctor (and I'm saying this as someone who really enjoyed Capaldi), I love the interactions between her and her companions as well (also...I don't want to spoil who he plays, but Sascha Dhawan is PERFECTLY cast as...someone...lol)
I heard the story quality got down, is it true? Is it kind of mess?
@@Morfeusm There are mixed opinions about her first season (although I'd argue the Rosa Parks episode is one of the best of New Who), but season 2 has been right on form so far (especially...Mr Dhawan...I really wish there was a way to say who he was without HUGE spoilers lol). Also, I just find it hilarious that they've got the villain from Timeless in one of the episodes lol
Someone please tell me what we’re talking about. I tried to google all of these doctors names and I’m so confused lol
Blair Witchdorf The show Doctor Who! Every few seasons the doctor regenerates which changes the actor and personality of the doctor which is referenced by the actors name: "Jodie" is Jodie Whittaker and "Capaldi" is Peter Capaldi, who play different versions of the doctor in the newest seasons
@@SarahEgertson Well done for explaining that, occasionally I nerd out so much I forget not everyone has the same depth of pointless information as I do XD
That break in her voice is heartbreakingly genuine! I can provide so why shan't I. If everyone thought this, would this world not be a better place
Yeah, because a temper tantrum is not always just a child trying to get their way, but sometimes just them trying to get their mind straight, and sometimes the parent arguing back does not help any, but adds to the confusion.
You are amazing! I have an adopted brother and could never have have put adoption in any way as amazing as you explained why its so great. Never heard anyone put it that way before and was emotional to here! Also that story about your house always being open for anyone when you was younger sounds like a cool setup for a story 😁😁
My whole outlook on the world used to be positive, but that changed when I realized I will never be capable of becoming the person my soul tells me I am. Because my soul only lies. When I focus on all the amazing things about me, my hopes and dreams, and I'm not even capable of taking one step forward toward it, I just stop caring. But that horrible sense of hope, just will not go away, farever teasing me with something that will never come.
One of my student's family just adopted their foster child. They had a lot of legal hookups, but they made it official last May. A couple of my students are also adopted. Both came from very difficult situations and now have a loving and caring home. There are so many children out there who would be happy to have you for a mom. :)
Parent of a lot of people. I really like that sentiment. I don't ever want kids, but I want to be that parent for a lot of people too. I want to always be there for my nephew and my friends and their kids and my pets. I've got a lot of love to give, just not in the traditional sense. :)
My mother has had a plaque above the kitchen sink for years, reading "My house is CLEAN enough to be HEALTHY and DIRTY enough to be HAPPY."
When explaining how your friends showed up. It reminded me of the outsiders
My cousin and her husband have been fostering kids for three years and they’re just now adopting their first foster child. It’s really one of the best things anyone can do in my opinion. I can’t wait to see the vlogs of your new child!
I love how passionate you are about things you believe in! It’s amazing to witness it! 😁😌
So excited that someone else loves Martha! She never gets the love she deserves
I can totally understand how you feel. I too would love to adopt when I'm older.
Woah, you guys watch Doctor Who?! I didn’t even know non british people knew about it! Thats so cool! FYI David Tennent is the best, especially with Donna Noble! 😂😂
I have no close connection to someone who was adopted but 100% relate to that overwhelming feeling of being called to adopt! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Such a good video. I loved the passionate tangents and your parents sound like such wonderful humans and that's really sweet that you aspire to be like them. I hope they watch your videos because this would probably really warm their hearts to see you telling the whole internet how great you think they are
I am the same with The Doctor! I think Matt Smith is my favorite (River was definitely my character), but like it took me so long to get there and I really loved Ten too.
Just want to say that I've been following you for about a year, and have never encountered such a inspiring youtuber. You have a unique creativity and a lovely personality that makes me enjoy every single one of your videos. Keep up the good work and congrats on almost 100k subs! You deserve it. 😊
It's so beautiful seeing somebody so passionate about motherhood and adoption. I've always wanted to be a dad and I'd love to adopt and this just encourages me to pursue that (but in the future... I'm only 22).
I don't have (or plan for) children yet.But I really appreciated the parenting advice there :D
Capaldi gets better after his first season, when they start softening his character a little. He’s definitely one of my favs.
I feel like I'm the person you used to be, and you're the person I've started striving to be. I'm lucky to find someone who is so similar to me in a lot of ways and watch you grow further as I grow as well
I really love to listen to you talking about the topics that are important to you. Especially your passion to serve other people is inspiring. Please share more if it‘s not to private for you. And I would Love to see some pictures of your buzzcut/growing out phase.
You really should give Capaldi a second chance, he really does kick in to being one of the best Doctors once he gets used to being himself