Every Zero Punctuation 2009

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  • čas přidán 2. 05. 2019
  • Every 2009 Zero Punctuation episode with no punctuation.
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Komentáře • 780

  • @subtlewhatssubtle
    @subtlewhatssubtle Před 5 lety +1455

    It's almost cute how he thought so many franchises had hit rock bottom back in 2009. How far we had yet to fall.

    • @Kyleology
      @Kyleology Před 4 lety +31

      1:58:30

    • @azzzanadra
      @azzzanadra Před 3 lety +19

      some came back up, don't pretend that the rock bottomers are the only ones that inhabit advanced darkness region.

    • @Zukoiu
      @Zukoiu Před 3 lety +17

      @@timokampwerth1996 this is an understatement. Holy crap...

    • @anierikidemona
      @anierikidemona Před 3 lety +4

      Not so cute now...

    • @damiancrowley569
      @damiancrowley569 Před 3 lety +5

      @@anierikidemona ^^^^^^I'm with this guy

  • @Nymphonomicon
    @Nymphonomicon Před 5 lety +287

    Never let a man with an undying love for true survival horror games put googly eyes on his pants.

  • @technocarp
    @technocarp Před 5 lety +1260

    Doctor: You only have 3 hours 37 minutes and 14 seconds left to live
    Me: Oddly specific for a medical professional

    • @lnsflare1
      @lnsflare1 Před 5 lety +78

      Doctor: Oh, that wasn't a diagnosis. That's just how much is left on the timer. Maybe you should take the time to reconsider screwing my wife, huh?

    • @TheReZisTLust
      @TheReZisTLust Před 5 lety +9

      Me: wow everyone says that huh...

    • @brennanwn
      @brennanwn Před 5 lety +8

      @@lnsflare1 Damn 😲

    • @AlmightyPolarBear
      @AlmightyPolarBear Před 5 lety +3

      What if you have a day to live?

    • @oskartheguy2105
      @oskartheguy2105 Před 5 lety +3

      Me: ...I had you castrate me last week... How could I have screwed her?!?

  • @VashMaverick09
    @VashMaverick09 Před 6 měsíci +16

    Rewatching this post everything happening makes me realize how long I've been watching and loving this strange strange man

  • @ForReviews-qn1jm
    @ForReviews-qn1jm Před 3 lety +401

    0:05 Awards for 2008
    4:53 Tomb Raider: Underworld
    8:57 Far Cry 2
    13:16 Gears of War 2
    17:32 Little Big Planet
    21:54 Satan Butt
    22:18 Thief: The Dark Project
    26:21 Skate 2
    30:38 FEAR 2
    34:52 Spiderman: Web of Shadows
    39:03 House of the Dead: Overkill
    43:09 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
    47:27 Resident Evil 5
    52:15 XBlades
    53:57 Halo Wars
    58:52 Pedigree Chum
    59:12 GTA Chinatown Wars
    1:03:38 MADWORLD
    1:07:48 Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X.
    1:11:56 Siren Blood Curse
    1:16:07 Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
    1:19:57 Valkyria Chronicles
    1:23:57 Velvet Assassin
    1:27:48 Duke Nukem Forever
    1:31:45 Bionic Commando
    1:36:01 Letter of the Week
    1:36:31 Infamous
    1:40:15 E3 2009 Hype Massacre
    1:44:00 Prototype
    1:47:47 The Sims 3
    1:51:39 Ghostbusters: The Video Game
    1:55:30 Overlord 2
    1:59:20 Red Faction Guerrilla
    2:03:11 Wii Sports Resort
    2:06:48 Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
    2:11:03 Theme Song Time!
    2:12:10 The Conduit
    2:16:12 Silent Hill 2
    2:20:27 2.5D Hoedown
    2:24:23 Tales of Monkey Island
    2:28:12 Wolfenstein
    2:31:59 Batman: Arkham Asylum
    2:36:07 Beatles Rock Band and Guitar Hero 5
    2:40:13 Darkest of Days
    2:44:29 Scribblenauts
    2:48:33 Wet
    2:52:33 Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
    2:56:47 Brutal Legend
    3:00:49 Games Expo Video Journal
    3:07:00 Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
    3:10:50 Dragon Age: Origins
    3:14:56 Winners of the Stonking Great Game Contest
    3:16:08 COD: Modern Warfare 2
    3:19:56 Assassin's Creed 2
    3:24:11 Left 4 Dead 2 and New Super Mario Bros Wii
    3:28:30 Demon's Souls
    3:32:42 Holiday Announcement
    3:32:56 Saboteur

  • @anonymone453
    @anonymone453 Před 2 lety +33

    That turd in a turd accolade for Sonic turned out to be timeless. He could've written that for any Sonic game that's come out since and for the most part it would be true.

  • @nicholasbruns6593
    @nicholasbruns6593 Před 3 lety +25

    I put this playlist on a lot while I work. Every time I hear his "origin story" with ps2 red faction I smile. I smile because I went through that exact same situation. Now, Yahtzee is a internet celeb with 5 novels, several games, and over a decade's worth of content under his belt. While I am living in an rv in the Mojave Wasteland trying to learn c# and unity to make a f2p game that doesn't make my soul leave me too.

  • @davidrobichaux9073
    @davidrobichaux9073 Před rokem +12

    I'll never get over how much Yhatzee looks like someone you'd never let your kids near on his DC visit

  • @azalearichardson9113
    @azalearichardson9113 Před 4 lety +42

    That wolfenstine limerick was impressive

  • @andrewgutmann9432
    @andrewgutmann9432 Před 4 lety +354

    1:07:24
    “I’m not against violence, I’m against censorship.”
    Well that’s good because the irony of that statement in this video is physically painful.

    • @tinyman1144
      @tinyman1144 Před 4 lety +63

      Yeah funny how he mentions being against censorship in several reviews and the escapist insists on censoring lots of jokes throughout these year releases

    • @KristoKorps
      @KristoKorps Před 4 lety +2

      @@CallanElliott citation please?

    • @Arto257
      @Arto257 Před 4 lety +31

      @@KristoKorps I'll back him up. I complained about it in one of their community post and their PR guy - whose name I forget - mentioned it was for advertising revenue.
      In fact you can just look at CZcams's content creator guidelines if you want a good laugh. The censorship is so blatant I'm amazed they're still getting away with it.

    • @pivoteer556
      @pivoteer556 Před 4 lety +17

      @@Arto257 They're getting away with it because they make the rules and can make them whatever they want. This isn't the house of representatives. You're not allowed to say fuck on NBC because NBC doesn't want people saying fuck on NBC.

    • @Arto257
      @Arto257 Před 4 lety +12

      @@pivoteer556 yeah, yeah, I know. Private company and all that nonsense. Doesn't change the fact that their creator guidelines are fucking ridiculous.
      It essentially gives CZcams absolute free reign to demonetise or even outright remove any content they deem inappropriate.
      Not even just swearing or sexual content - talking about certain *topics* isn't allowed. War, for example. Can't mention it, or you make no money. That's _the example_ they give in their guidelines - "war." Conflict. Anything that anyone might possibly take offence to or have a contentious opinion about. It's absolute bullshit, and you can't just hand-wave something like that away with "well, they make the rules"

  • @predetor911
    @predetor911 Před 5 lety +34

    Listen to someone talk for three and a half hours without taking a single breath has never been more entertaining.

  • @Commy01
    @Commy01 Před 7 měsíci +15

    The Escapist's Overlords really done fucked up.

  • @FortressWolf97
    @FortressWolf97 Před rokem +28

    I love his accent changes from English to New Zealand to occasionally Australian depending on how he's feeling.

    • @foxtailedcritter
      @foxtailedcritter Před 10 měsíci +2

      A man of true talent.
      I can barely speak my own accent yet he's pulling off many.

  • @Gilhelmi
    @Gilhelmi Před 3 lety +211

    I enjoy listening to these in the background.
    It is like listening to the history of videogames from the last decade.

    • @themagalanium9491
      @themagalanium9491 Před rokem +4

      my thoughts exactly, and with a dose of nostalgia no less

  • @insolencestar
    @insolencestar Před 2 lety +28

    there's no one like yahtz to paralyse you with laughter after all these years..!
    "chest high wall sight-seeing tour" has me crippled

  • @HarryBillyBobGeorge
    @HarryBillyBobGeorge Před 5 lety +80

    The E3 episode: [mentions Metal Gear Rising]
    Me: that didn’t cone out for several more years!
    [mentions The Last Guardian which came out like last year, after Kinect was already dead]

  • @wizzardoffuzz
    @wizzardoffuzz Před 4 lety +103

    the 50 cent review is my absolute favourite one he's ever done but its really hamstrung when you cut out the final joke.

    • @Zukoiu
      @Zukoiu Před 3 lety +7

      Gotta love that American censoring.

    • @isabellamorris7902
      @isabellamorris7902 Před 3 lety +29

      @@BobExcalibur It's CZcams censoring so the Escapist can keep putting ads on these videos. Lately he's been having to literally replace all swears with CZcams

    • @chronicbrightside8757
      @chronicbrightside8757 Před 2 lety +13

      escapist has mentioned if it was up to them, they wouldnt have censored any of it (and indeed you can still go back and watch the original video uncensored) but to keep the compilations monetizable, youtube required certain jokes had to be cut. and i believe it - there are way more offensive jokes that were left in. leave it to a massive, corporate-run, algorithm-obsessed mass like youtube to abritrarily deem a handful of jokes "too offensive" while completely ignoring nuance and context.

    • @connorbishop5870
      @connorbishop5870 Před rokem +1

      ​@@KrodaStagg He is not Australian

    • @johnwrath3612
      @johnwrath3612 Před rokem +7

      @@KrodaStagg oh my god, he wants to pay his rent. What a hypocrite.

  • @zackgilmore2504
    @zackgilmore2504 Před 2 lety +70

    It's odd that the 50 Cent section where he rants about censorship is itself censored.

    • @cuttlefishn.w.2705
      @cuttlefishn.w.2705 Před rokem +5

      He doesn't even say the full word but, like my mulatto friend, chops it in half.

    • @zackgilmore2504
      @zackgilmore2504 Před rokem +3

      @@cuttlefishn.w.2705 I cannot say how deep my chuckle was reading that.

    • @OldManJ3nkins
      @OldManJ3nkins Před rokem +4

      It's sad. The Escapist actually replied to someone complaining about the censoring on one of the videos, something to the effect of "we have to pay our staff so we can't afford to have values like you can" or some bullshit.

    • @Electric0eye
      @Electric0eye Před 11 měsíci

      That's producers

    • @zackgilmore2504
      @zackgilmore2504 Před měsícem

      ​@@OldManJ3nkins That statement hits very different now, given Yatz and so many other escapist creators leaving.

  • @jordanj809
    @jordanj809 Před 4 lety +61

    3:01:30 it's really interesting to see Nick outside of his position of authority as Editor in Chief of all of Escapist. Almost makes me want to follow his career as it led up to today

  • @DKannji
    @DKannji Před 5 lety +79

    20:17 Wow, that joke truly fell flat when played with new age royalty free techno music... Makes me want to dig up the original videos just to see the jokes intact.

  • @greenredblue
    @greenredblue Před 5 lety +266

    Fun fact: deleting the gay joke that concludes 1:51:33 makes that sequence seem sincere and thus way _more_ offensive.
    Honestly what is the point of all the censorship...

    • @kingmorgan5047
      @kingmorgan5047 Před 4 lety +30

      to avoid lawsuits. probably the same reason they changed the music on the bit with the googly-eyed butt dancing. it was originally the austin powers theme music.

    • @killpuddle9977
      @killpuddle9977 Před 4 lety +6

      @@kingmorgan5047 yeah but the original is probably still the same

    • @watchface6836
      @watchface6836 Před 4 lety +16

      Probably in an attempt to have the video monetized

    • @HellionSeeker
      @HellionSeeker Před 3 lety +4

      A joke that is looked back upon and recognized as offensive and cut out is entirely appropriate. A joke comes from a place of insincerity but taking a situation and making humor out of it.
      In hindsight going back and deleting it seems like a gesture of accepting that it wasn't okay.

    • @greenredblue
      @greenredblue Před 3 lety +11

      @@HellionSeeker That doesn't make any sense, especially in this context.
      They deleted an incidental, nonjudgmental allusion to homosexuality, that was supposed to juxtapose the preceding genuinely hateful mysoginistic screed. The joke was _supposed_ to be at the expense of the kind of people who would genuinely be that hateful. By cutting out the end, they made him seem genuinely hateful.
      Or, to make this simple: I'm a gay man. The gay joke was not even remotely offensive. There was no reason to cut it out... Unless the mere mention of homosexuality is to be interpreted as offensive. I think you can see why that alone would be problematic. But really, the now apparently-sincere mysogyny is worse.

  • @RegretfulDeadMan
    @RegretfulDeadMan Před 5 lety +381

    The ammount of censored jokes is insulting, frankly

    • @CyanLink
      @CyanLink Před 5 lety +53

      Some don't even make any sense. In the Velvet Assassin review he makes a joke about Valkeria Chronicles "defending the 100 acre woods from mean old farmer Hitler". The part about "mean old farmer Hitler" is cut out and I can't figure out why.

    • @tate3117
      @tate3117 Před 5 lety +53

      They were probably hoping to keep these videos monetized, considering the amount of mid roll ads

    • @WeeNiallism
      @WeeNiallism Před 5 lety +19

      This is really upsetting. The gaps are all I can hear.

    • @backlogbuddies
      @backlogbuddies Před 5 lety +6

      @@tate3117 the original uncensored videos still get ads

    • @fg6186
      @fg6186 Před 5 lety +2

      Mid role? I didn't have one in any of these.
      Does anyone know if Yathzee himself cuts the yokes out or somebody else?

  • @Buretsu
    @Buretsu Před 5 lety +856

    Escapist probably thinks we wouldn't notice that they cut out the punchline from the end of the "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand" review. Shame on them!

    • @zoedorrahm
      @zoedorrahm Před 5 lety +20

      Llaaaame.

    • @Kody-mo3fy
      @Kody-mo3fy Před 5 lety +42

      What was the punchline? They cut something else out in the last one too. Think it was something about hitler

    • @RFLCPTR
      @RFLCPTR Před 5 lety +56

      @@Kody-mo3fy He used the N-Word in a joking context.

    • @Buretsu
      @Buretsu Před 5 lety +77

      @@GeorgeTsiros This video doesn't even get that far. It ends before getting to the "Not that they'd know anything about work" bit.

    • @doctormerc9134
      @doctormerc9134 Před 5 lety +66

      I fucking knew it. I was waiting the whole review for it, and they had to cut it. Disliked because seriously fuck escapist

  • @DancinDane
    @DancinDane Před 2 lety +13

    It feels so surreal hearing Yahtzee talking about how basically allright Gears of War is 😳

  • @anemoi6803
    @anemoi6803 Před 4 lety +200

    You know what's fascinating? Its pretty easy to see how much Yahtzee has changed in the past 11 years. I'd argue he's managed to kick the really low hanging fruit jokes and stay funny and for that I respect him. Not that he's above knob gags but they're more of a stocking stuffer than his actual best jokes

    • @stevenskul
      @stevenskul Před 3 lety +30

      they cut out almost all of his actually offensive jokes

    • @ZachGatesHere
      @ZachGatesHere Před 3 lety +10

      I've grown to love his really absurd jokes or off kilter references

    • @satans_scrilla4844
      @satans_scrilla4844 Před 3 lety +15

      Edgy Yahtzee was best Yahtzee.

    • @vapid6311
      @vapid6311 Před 3 lety +5

      that "It's as similar to the original article as an unwiped arsecrack is to a picture of gorbachev." was his best joke hands down

    • @SerpentStare
      @SerpentStare Před 2 lety +7

      @Panel Deepak Not completely. They definitely clipped out the ironic racist joke at the end of the anti-racist ending on 50 Cent: Blood On the Sand, and I noticed.

  • @RebelTaxi
    @RebelTaxi Před 5 lety +151

    Give us a 4K remaster of old reviews

    • @ChaosTheoryDrozz
      @ChaosTheoryDrozz Před 5 lety +6

      Might as well skip to 16K

    • @WOLF36554
      @WOLF36554 Před 5 lety +11

      it's funny that yahtzee has been doing this three year longer than you and still you are the one that stagnated while yahtzee remained good.

    • @weegle.
      @weegle. Před 3 lety +14

      @@WOLF36554 you didn't need to murder him...even if it's completely true...

    • @frelted6744
      @frelted6744 Před 3 lety +3

      WOLF36554 oucccch i felt that and i dont even know who that is.

    • @qdllc
      @qdllc Před 3 lety

      Why? So the PC Master Race is rendered in even more resplendent detail?

  • @blackrazor1000
    @blackrazor1000 Před 5 lety +102

    Got 3 hours, 37 minutes, 14 seconds of free time? Here's the perfect video for you!

    • @destroyercreater98
      @destroyercreater98 Před 5 lety

      BlackRazor1000 what if it buffers

    • @Atomsk2
      @Atomsk2 Před 5 lety

      Destroyer Creater pray that it doesn’t

    • @destroyercreater98
      @destroyercreater98 Před 5 lety

      DNoah then I’ll pray until Jesus himself comes down and say “dude. You need to chill on your praying”

  • @charlenebaganzmoore
    @charlenebaganzmoore Před 3 lety +37

    What makes me laugh is is 'opinion' on children considering he has one now! Time makes fools of us all 🤣🤣🤣

  • @13Hyrule
    @13Hyrule Před 5 lety +161

    "A society where everyone can make jokes about everyone else and everyone laughs is a truly tolerant society. Political correctness charged censorship only serves to engender resentment and distance between social groups." Yahtzee 2009

    • @butelthomas2503
      @butelthomas2503 Před 5 lety +23

      kinda ironic because he got censored in this video

    • @seanurbik2689
      @seanurbik2689 Před 5 lety +19

      "....... In a perfect world. But we don't live in a perfect world. We live in a shitty world, where all the [atrocities of the last 400 years, "the effects of which still linger to this day"] and as such ......."
      -Moviebob 20xx

    • @Rebellions
      @Rebellions Před 5 lety +20

      @@seanurbik2689 yeah but Moviebob is a complete tool so...

    • @seanurbik2689
      @seanurbik2689 Před 5 lety +11

      @@Rebellions Even if that were true, that doesn't change the fact that this isn't a perfect world.

    • @patchwurk6652
      @patchwurk6652 Před 5 lety +29

      @@seanurbik2689 And it's never going to be. And it's not going to become better through censorship and morality-policing.

  • @the1flym459
    @the1flym459 Před 4 lety +9

    I love watching back his review of Dragon Age because you know he hadn't reached the Broodmother because otherwise he would've spent half the review talking about it

  • @adamkimmel2306
    @adamkimmel2306 Před 5 lety +173

    Damn it Yahtzee what have you done! Im never gonna get work done!

    • @Shaymin0
      @Shaymin0 Před 5 lety +1

      I personally force myself to put it in a hidden tab or else i would get nothing done.

  • @themrfives
    @themrfives Před 5 lety +47

    "No franchise has been euthanized quite as well as metal gear solid." Honestly it would've been better if that happened after five, considering where we are now.

    • @daniellado2523
      @daniellado2523 Před 5 lety +2

      Konami will probably not even touch that franchise for a very long time. Heck, any franchise in fact.

  • @shayanali9141
    @shayanali9141 Před 5 lety +18

    You want to hear a sad thing? Yatzhees voice has been the voice i listen to for most of my day,like more than my parents. Seriously i listen to his videos that much that his is the most consistent voice i hear.

    • @Changetheling
      @Changetheling Před 2 lety +1

      Same here. Hardly listen to music anymore.
      Or sleep in silence for that matter.

    • @SerpentStare
      @SerpentStare Před 2 lety +1

      fwiw, his enunciation and delivery has a great flow, so I wouldn't consider it one of the worse voices to get stuck in your head.

    • @fntthesmth423
      @fntthesmth423 Před 9 měsíci

      To be fair most people in our lives wouldn't be willing or even able to sit down and deliver 3+ straight hours of continuous speech. This is probably something people said about DJs back at the dawn of radio, since it was the first time people had access to so much audio content! So don't feel bad that you don't have your parents' voices memorized like a youtuber's :)

    • @42Mrgreenman
      @42Mrgreenman Před 9 měsíci

      @@fntthesmth423 Yeah, I suspect that the communication revolution changed much more about "Human nature" than we understand...the shear amount of information is unprecedented...but also that information can be "Siloed" and manipulated in multiple ways makes me worry about the future...as our biological brains can't keep up with the massive processing power of purely analytical computers...not saying it'll be something like Skynet, but it will be someone manipulating technology to control or destroy the world...

  • @icarussbungeecord7779
    @icarussbungeecord7779 Před 5 lety +5

    time to directly download pure snark directly into my brain

  • @vjollila96
    @vjollila96 Před rokem +2

    high quality shit for over 14 years

  • @AftermathRV
    @AftermathRV Před 5 lety +18

    2:25:00
    WHY Did i miss this irish yahtzee joke for years.
    WHAT ELSE DID I MISS

  • @Kirbyterasu
    @Kirbyterasu Před 5 lety +86

    20:17 Aw man, I forgot Yahtzee showed his face that year!

    • @oskartheguy2105
      @oskartheguy2105 Před 5 lety +4

      ...I am aroused in the weirdest way...

    • @jonlee2553
      @jonlee2553 Před 5 lety +9

      Escapist changed the music too. It was that little ditty from Austin Powers.

    • @lolnamelollastname9788
      @lolnamelollastname9788 Před 2 lety +1

      @@jonlee2553 Yes, I noticed that! Probably to escape copyright?

  • @JigAtTheFuneral
    @JigAtTheFuneral Před 5 lety +4

    Silly yahtzee, being invisible only whilst playing the trombone is exactly what I'd want

  • @Yggdrasill-X
    @Yggdrasill-X Před 3 lety +9

    *Dies hearing Yatz say "glock of Damocles" xDD

  • @mr.j7444
    @mr.j7444 Před 3 lety +13

    listening to his demons souls review is hilarious given how hard he has it for darksouls.

  • @harmless3449
    @harmless3449 Před rokem +2

    Why is his mic quality better in 2009 than it was in 2010-2013 lol

  • @akirakomaeda8781
    @akirakomaeda8781 Před 5 lety +2

    "It´s wort remembering that sometimes things are pupular for a reason: because they're good"
    Fucking preach it mate

  • @Zman9042
    @Zman9042 Před 4 lety +38

    47:25 YOU CUT OUT THE BEST PART. THAT PART HAD ME DYING LAUGHING FOR DAYS WTF

  • @42Mrgreenman
    @42Mrgreenman Před 7 měsíci +2

    Perhaps my favorite sentence by Yahtzee, "Silent Hill 4 mis-stepped so hard it's femurs burst out of it's legs and rocketed into the sky."
    Damn, I loved SH4...but yeah, so much jank...no sidestepping in the apartment, those annoying flying bug-bat things, super limited inventory, having to knock down all those penis plants over and over again in the water prison, and the water prison...

  • @Ddarkan
    @Ddarkan Před 5 lety +17

    @ 2:47:46
    Hmmm... wasn't there a 3rd part to that joke? Out of all the other things said during Zero Punctuation I wonder why they decided to retcon that joke specifically.

  • @potahtwah9591
    @potahtwah9591 Před 3 lety +2

    I sometimes forget that thick means stupid outside America. For a second I thought he was saying the Gow aliens had cake.

  • @ally4800
    @ally4800 Před 3 lety +9

    2009, the year of the limerick review. The height of my attraction to yatzee...

  • @CodingItWrong
    @CodingItWrong Před 2 lety +3

    "Maybe by the end of the third game we'll be controlling a big pile of giblets and teeth." No Yahtz you'll need to wait for Carrion (2020) for that.

  • @kylewhite9383
    @kylewhite9383 Před 5 lety +32

    Without punctuation, but no ads 👍 not complaining really, Yhatz makes it worth it. 😂

  • @JustBeingAlive
    @JustBeingAlive Před 5 lety +37

    I just bingewatch your vids anyway. Soooo this is just what I need ;)

    • @finnthecoach16
      @finnthecoach16 Před 5 lety

      Chan? Nice zu sehen das du auch ein Mann der hohen kulturellen Standarts bist👌🏻

  • @Tr0ttingF0x
    @Tr0ttingF0x Před rokem +10

    It's wonderful to watch these and see not only how games have evolved, but how Yahtzee has evolved as well. In the Bowser's inside story review, he talks about how much he hates children. And he's a dad now. It's cute. :)

  • @Flabulo
    @Flabulo Před 2 lety +8

    "Eventually I started avoiding optional combat missions. When you come across 15 muggings while headed home through the New York warzone its hard to feel you're making an impact on crime."
    Yahtzee predicted 2022 New York!

  • @maddawgmcgee
    @maddawgmcgee Před 5 lety +167

    They cut out the "not that they know anything about work the stupid ni..." line out of the end of the 50 cent review

    • @mattiasmartens9972
      @mattiasmartens9972 Před 5 lety +12

      Thanks, I do remember thinking the lack of vitriol there was a bit jarring.

    • @phenomanII
      @phenomanII Před 5 lety +15

      They also cut out the "Incidentaly I'm still not gay" part from the end of the Sims review (1:51:39)

    • @screamsinrussian5773
      @screamsinrussian5773 Před 5 lety +6

      Hmm, cutting out all the good shit... Wonder what might have caused it

    • @patrickwilliams7695
      @patrickwilliams7695 Před 5 lety +6

      cut the 'and also possibly some child pornography' line from wii sports resort

    • @CaptainNuge
      @CaptainNuge Před 5 lety +4

      The ellipsis would be punctuation, so they clearly had to cut it.

  • @ThePa1riot
    @ThePa1riot Před 5 lety +48

    Jesus so many of these jokes were trimmed. Which is cruelly ironic after Yahtzee makes a very apt point about such things in the 50 Cent review

  • @PeterTheRock3
    @PeterTheRock3 Před 5 lety +21

    20:17
    Noooo! He changed the music (likely copyright)

    • @kylejscheffler
      @kylejscheffler Před 5 lety +1

      I know, I've seen the original so often that it really caught me off guard

    • @spacebear4742
      @spacebear4742 Před 5 lety +2

      PeterTheRock3 they kept the music for 21:53

  • @noahwolton7662
    @noahwolton7662 Před 4 lety +5

    Love the full theme song at 2:11:04 hadn’t heard it before

  • @HarryBillyBobGeorge
    @HarryBillyBobGeorge Před 5 lety +12

    59:00 I want a feature-length version of this.

  • @AlmightyPolarBear
    @AlmightyPolarBear Před 5 lety +23

    We need to get Yahtzee to cover every game whether it came out that year or years ago. He makes them all worth listening to.

  • @theleikkuri
    @theleikkuri Před 3 lety +3

    I love bingelistening zero punctuation while playing the entire assassin's creed series again and again

    • @adriantepesut
      @adriantepesut Před rokem

      This exact combination is my main source of both nostalgic comfort and existential dread
      Listen to Yahtzee at the same time as ac II Monteriggionni ambient music and try not to reminder how you will die

  • @TheDocperian
    @TheDocperian Před 4 lety +3

    It's so weird to randomly hear Grahm at 52:00
    The shit that happened over a decade ago

  • @ginko2692
    @ginko2692 Před 3 lety +12

    I'm impressed he managed to get Matthew Mattosis to guest on the Monkey Island episode.
    Also anyone else hear the police coming to get yahtzee at 10:53? And 26:25

  • @Zman9042
    @Zman9042 Před 5 lety +10

    6 views. 8 likes. The sorcery on display is amazing.

    • @munkyzzb7504
      @munkyzzb7504 Před 5 lety +6

      That usually happens when there's a lot of vampires watching.

  • @humblegamertube
    @humblegamertube Před rokem +1

    The finest moment in gaming history is the Duke Nukem Forever Review.

  • @skeletor3703
    @skeletor3703 Před 5 lety +15

    Wow the fucking nostalgia I used to run from highschool to see it as soon as it was out :D thank you Yahtzee, still my go to game reviewer after all this time ^^

  • @eleanorfudge7288
    @eleanorfudge7288 Před 4 lety +55

    So I've watched basically every ZP review (I'll admit, I was surprised to find I hadn't seen the GTA: Chinatown Wars reviews until this compilation), and earlier on, I thought I noticed some odd editing quirks - like where it sounded as though Yahtzee was mid-rant but was suddenly cut-off into another sentence. Like you could just tell the tone/cadence of his voice had changed. But it wasn't until 01:47:29 that I was absolutely sure something fishy was going on, because it's one of my favorite reviews (Prototype) and one of favorite jokes ends with the "...eat them, too!" - so of course I'm well acquainted with the following line, "...if only Jeffrey Dahmer..." but that's when the video cut immediately to the "Conclusion", rather than the next line and I was instantly put-off. I don't understand it, is it a timeliness issue? I've heard some things about the whole CZcams "watch time" algorithm or something like that. I went looking in the comments for everyone else's take and saw some people saying that it's censorship but if that's the case, why bother when the videos still exist - easily accessible - in their original forms? Either way, this is a poor way to do business. There are still ads - essentially just as many as I tend to see when I watch the videos individually one after the other - and while it's nice not to have to skip through the (preposterously loud) opening theme and not have to pick the next episode from the random options offered up by CZcams's (frankly dogshit) algorithm, I don't like knowing that I'm being robbed of the creator's original intent. I come here to watch (read: mostly listen to in the background while doing other things) Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation, not some boiled-down Escapist-filtered malarkey. I know this is technically boiled-down because the opening theme and ending credits have been lifted out in order to streamline the experience and that's appreciated - cause if you're binge-watching, it helps a lot if they just roll into each other, one after another. But the compilation video says it's "Zero Punctuation with no punctuation" - it DOES NOT mention anything about "also we've cut out some of the actual content, too". I'm sincerely disappointed. This will be fine for when I'm falling into a drunken coma, it will no longer suffice for actually experiencing Zero Punctuation and honestly, I'm surprised Yahtzee is okay with it (although, at this point, as he's said he gets paid surprisingly well for this gig, I really can't blame him for having a "fuck bitches, get money" attitude).

    • @endothegreatthief4432
      @endothegreatthief4432 Před 4 lety +16

      it's cliche in this comment section to say "they censored jokes" but you made a goddamn essay
      you EARNED it

    • @ahennessy7998
      @ahennessy7998 Před 3 lety +16

      I think it's to do with monetization. If this compilation with all of the jokes included were released it would be demonetised fairly quickly and they wouldn't know what caused it, because while you can get away with one risky joke in each individual video, you can't do the same with a big compilation such as this, as one risky joke turns into forty, and instead of trying to play whack a mole with the algorithm the escapist decided to remove the jokes altogether

  • @dakotamcintire7419
    @dakotamcintire7419 Před 5 lety +8

    After seeing yahtzees roadtrip footage, K now need a whole series following this man across the world XD that, or let him narrate a nature documentory just once.

    • @mozxz
      @mozxz Před 11 měsíci

      If he got to narrate a nature documentary, then he would have ample opportunity to talk about various animal dicks, in context for once.

  • @FirlowXD
    @FirlowXD Před 3 lety +4

    Funny to think he still thought Half-Life 3 might be coming out at some point...

  • @jimnicholas7334
    @jimnicholas7334 Před 5 lety +83

    The problem with zero punctuation is that it's extremely obvious when you censor a joke.

    • @Changetheling
      @Changetheling Před 4 lety +1

      ...or perhaps that's its strength.
      not like the average people in internet would ever ponder about it.

    • @aztn19
      @aztn19 Před 4 lety +8

      @Horus SC besides, it’s not as if the original reviews were edited or taken down. They can still see them to get their fix on hearing inappropriate slurs sprinkled into their video game critiques.

  • @Meloncarty
    @Meloncarty Před 5 lety +1

    I just realized you can hear Police Sirens in the Skate review

  • @agreen182
    @agreen182 Před 5 lety

    First Friday of every month is now a holiday. 👏👏escapist👏👏

  • @GoodnightMoon4
    @GoodnightMoon4 Před 2 lety +1

    I tend to listen to these as I go to sleep ( I know ). I hate this video so much because once 21:54 rolls around shit wakes me up every time lol

  • @malachichampion
    @malachichampion Před 3 lety +1

    Oh glob I didn't realize CZcams was still set to 2x when I came back to this

  • @Tzen03
    @Tzen03 Před 5 lety +4

    Wow, I don't remember Graham Stark trying to cover for Yahtzee! That was hilarious.

    • @myrixica4222
      @myrixica4222 Před 4 lety +1

      It was after he joined them on an unskippable

  • @kemestia592
    @kemestia592 Před 5 lety +276

    Christ they cut out jokes again, these compilations are great but this is annoying as all hell.

    • @jelleschoenmaker3956
      @jelleschoenmaker3956 Před 5 lety +22

      Dude don't drag us SJWs into this

    • @patrickbeart7091
      @patrickbeart7091 Před 5 lety +25

      @Ex Tyger I'm opposed to them removing it as well but the fact that they removed the n word is not exactly indicative of them being an SJW

    • @TomatoBreadOrgasm
      @TomatoBreadOrgasm Před 5 lety +13

      @@jelleschoenmaker3956 Could you tell them to stop shoving themselves into everything? Thanks.

    • @jelleschoenmaker3956
      @jelleschoenmaker3956 Před 5 lety +6

      We're not. We've always been here

    • @mattheweakin6802
      @mattheweakin6802 Před 4 lety +28

      @@TomatoBreadOrgasm Actual ESS-JAY-DABLUS are vastly outnumbered by, and less annoying than, twats who scream ESS-JAY-DABLU at every shadow.
      This video for instance; The escapist didn't remove the edgy jokes because they're secretly run by a shadowy cabal of blue-haired gender-studies majors. If they were ideologically motivated, they'd take down the original 50 cent review, wouldn't they. They selectively edited this it because CZcams's algorithm for demonetisation is sensitive to certain words. The motivation is financial, not ideological. Not that that stops the twats from yelling ESS-JAY-DABLU, because that's their all-purpose explanation for everything they don't like.

  • @shiv3rcubesolver664
    @shiv3rcubesolver664 Před 3 lety

    I may have been just about to fall asleep when the spooky ambience hit and I most shat myself.

  • @AaronValacircaVT
    @AaronValacircaVT Před 5 lety +4

    52:15 WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE'S YAHTZEE?!

    • @logancochrane6649
      @logancochrane6649 Před 3 lety +1

      So, I know it's been a year for you friend buuuut....that's Graham Stark of Loadingreadyrun. Back then LRR was on The Escapist with a show called Unskippable and it basically came down to Yatzhee and Graham saying they could do the other's job easy (in jest), so we got an episode of ZP with Graham in charge and a episode of Unskippable with Yatzhee at the wheel.
      Graham and LRR are a Canadian sketch comedy group that's been around for the last 15+ years and have done their own thing and others. For example, if you've ever watched FF7 Machinabridged from TFS, Graham was President Shinra.

  • @Changetheling
    @Changetheling Před 4 lety +1

    2009 was the "What Arbitrary Silliness" year.
    Good times.

  • @Pinkyton
    @Pinkyton Před 4 lety +1

    I miss being subscribed to topics on CZcams. I subbed to Zero Punctuation as a topic and it was great. I don't want my home page flooded by videos I'm not as interested in.

  • @shrimpboom8
    @shrimpboom8 Před 3 lety

    the velvet assassin review had me tabbing back and forth between the original video and this every time the scene changed because I'd assumed there was another censored joke

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley Před 5 lety +5

    22:17 review of _Thief_ (yes, the one from the 20th century).

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley Před 5 lety +1

    2:33 for the therapeutic leeching that GTA4 urgently required.

  • @solsingularity106
    @solsingularity106 Před 3 lety +1

    Hey, Yahtzee, from the year 2021; I think Godzilla vs Kong was partly conjured by 'Nancy Drew Meets Mecha-Godzilla'. So thanks for that.

  • @gammabeam02
    @gammabeam02 Před 5 lety

    my prayers have been answered! anotha one!

  • @mint5438
    @mint5438 Před 4 lety +4

    3:32:29 He's come so far, and that makes me smile

  • @Asaski09
    @Asaski09 Před 5 lety +3

    THEY CUT OUT THE BEST BIT

  • @colonelkassad16
    @colonelkassad16 Před 2 lety +1

    Hands down, 2009 was his best year.

    • @hasanz7585
      @hasanz7585 Před rokem +1

      2010 and 2011 are up there too

  • @Betta66
    @Betta66 Před 5 lety +3

    They took out the last joke in Blood on the Sand? Odd choice

  • @ayylmao8562
    @ayylmao8562 Před 7 měsíci

    He loves half these games nowadays, he hypes up GTA IV a lot, especially the story.

  • @Shubdooba
    @Shubdooba Před 4 lety +1

    What actually is the name of the kickass theme song? I’ve been listening to the intro for years now and I still don’t know lmao

  • @KadoTheNorm
    @KadoTheNorm Před 5 lety +1

    "..... Yeah we're gonna do this"

  • @xdjrockstar
    @xdjrockstar Před 3 lety

    The added pupils at 58:47 are very unsettling

  • @ZachGatesHere
    @ZachGatesHere Před 5 lety +1

    I love that they had to change the music for his butt eyes because it was copyrighted.

  • @MultiZ100
    @MultiZ100 Před 5 lety +15

    Doctor: You have 3 hours 37 minutes and 14 seconds to live
    Me:

  • @MisterTTG
    @MisterTTG Před rokem

    his fuckin pisstake south african accent slipping in and out throughout the entire Far Cry 2 review slays me

  • @harofax7726
    @harofax7726 Před 3 lety

    This makes me feel old

  • @MURFGAMING1228
    @MURFGAMING1228 Před 5 lety +2

    People are complaining about them censoring jokes in these compilations.
    The 9 Mid-roll adds show why they did that.

    • @patchwurk6652
      @patchwurk6652 Před 5 lety

      ...But the original videos (Which are completely un-edited) are still monetized. And they leave in quite a few jokes which are still pretty damn raunchy (i.e. Damn near every analogy Yahtzee makes).

    • @MURFGAMING1228
      @MURFGAMING1228 Před 5 lety

      @@patchwurk6652 In that case, I have no idea.

  • @GrymmSoul
    @GrymmSoul Před 2 lety

    2:11:03 Proper ZP Intro Theme
    My God, that's awesome! Why isn't this on Spotify?

  • @MrAlice
    @MrAlice Před 5 lety

    I thought it was going to be a joke mesh video.... but its literal. Wow.

  • @goliath1179
    @goliath1179 Před 3 lety +1

    Man, I forgot how thick this British accent was

  • @Solvables
    @Solvables Před 2 lety

    Thanks!