Patrice O'Neal - Men Can't Love You And Like You
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- čas přidán 20. 03. 2020
- #PatriceONeal on why he feels bad watching the news, his belief in God, and how women tell stories.
#PatriceONealStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2008.
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"Men want to be alone but we dont want to be by ourselves" realest sht he ever wrote
EVER!!
@Zukka 88 Physical alone time. Otherwise known as "space"
Bro.... went to play basketball with my friend then worked out. Didnt text my girl for 4 hours. And she called me saying if i dont want her in my life to just breakup with her 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ even when im getting alone time i cant even enjoy it smh
@@theItalianshamrock seems like insecurity on her part, but it's on you if you wanna stay in that. You should be able to have some alone time without the other person stressing you out about it
Found a pin that said “alone, not lonely” instantly thought of patrice haha
I'm watching this from across the room laughing my ass off and my girl came over and said "Whatchya doing?" I almost died.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Rodimus Prime maybe YOU don't
was she holdin a dry turkey sandwich tho?
Lmaoo 😆 🤣 😂 😹
Did she turn off your AC
"I'm sorry ladies, thats not you'll ladies, thats some ladies that ain't in here" I lost my shit at that 🤣
Plausible denial ability is all it takes for a women to hear the truth in any given situation. Give them an out and they will find a way to stay.
@@darkrangerl Isn't your first part, the definition of stupidity?
"men want to be alone, but we don't wanna be by ourselves" is literally so perfect I can't take it. I've never had that feeling summed up with words before
After 2 long term relationships I feel like I'm fine being by myself
@@Toven_WaveWatcherFi that's what we should learn at 14
Echoes often in my mind...lol and explains Appreciation
@@Toven_WaveWatcherFi till you are 50 and no woman wants to have sex with you.
@@farahjichi4617 I mean if he is rich then he'll be fine
It’s amazing what 10 minutes of Patrice once a month can do for a man’s soul.
Yeah man, I've been without it for a few months!
Even that comment makes the day better.
When in doubt... ask Patrice. On anything.
I download these video to help me cope in June of 2021. 🤦😏 Thank you Patrice, you are still doing your part brother even in spirit
Amen
The whole "tell me the ending so I can decide whether to be invested in the story" thing is brilliant. 😂
Can't believe he's gone
It's what I do 😅
985-4
I need to use that.
Lol I took notes 😩😂
“I kept the plane in the air you selfish bitch” that gets me every single time!!!
*10 years today since he passed ... He's still making us laugh*
10 years?! Wtf?!
It's been 10 years?! You sure? I'm sure he left us at least a year ago.
Rest In Peace to him 🤍
Good man. Rip
Rest in peace Patrice, u are of the GoAt of comedy
"Ain't that better? A dry sandwich you don't want?!"
I lost it. 😂
I couldn’t relate to the bit until I got a girl and she started switching the beef in my spaghetti to some dry chicken cause it’s “less fatty”. Man those jokes gave me stomach pains the second time around LOL
@@burnerdgaf5222 AINT THAT BETTER?
It’s so true. Women always trying to correct our foolish ways. They love to tamper
I showed my girlfriend this shit and she died laughing for ten straight minutes. Every sin she’s ever committed against me in the name of love was outlined in this bit. Rest In Peace Saint Patrice!
Marry that one.
I showed my now ex, she laughed because she knew that was her
@Christopher Hendricks ?????
@@toaster7817 - he likes boys.
@Christopher Hendricks This literally makes no sense in the context lmfao.
"Men want to be alone, but we dont want to be by ourselves." That hit hard.
Women are kind of like our own personal Life Alert. You know that thing old people wear around their necks so when the fall they can hit the button to ensure someone comes and saves them, and they don't die on the bathroom floor.
Women want to be taken care off but dont want to be controlled 😂
What does this line mean bro ?
@@sakurakou2009 women know nothing about what they need
they think they know what they want, but its not what they need (including being controlled)
@@sakurakou2009I like that
I was watching this when my wife came in and said ( شدسوي ) which is exactly the equivalent to ( what u doing ), i cracked😂😂. Guess this is a multi language thing.
transcends all cultures haha
"Ain't that better?" 😭
You got a dry sandwich can’t hear the tv
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
IKR HE-larious 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
"Whatchya doooinng?"
@@Scrimparmy Ain't that better?
that "aint that better" bit could have gone on for another 2-3 minutes
@Chris And divorces are skyrocketing as we speak during this CoronaVirus Bullshit Pandemic.
That was pure gold
Indeed
Could go on forever
Omg I swear I'm in tears right now😂😂😂😂
Patrice really shows his command over a craft by his patience within each bit. There are silences and dead space. He pauses long enough to make the crowd to either get the joke, or get uncomfortable, or wait for the punchline. He doesn’t have to fill every gap with words. He makes you want him to just say it already and it’s so worth it. He has bits where you think it hasn’t landed by how quiet it is, and then he shows you why. Brilliant.
yup, exactly. Guy was a complete master of comedy. Gone too soon.
“Men wanna be alone. But they don’t want to be by themselves.” 💯
The looks on the guys faces in the audience agreeing with him.
trunks38109 Especially the gray fox at the end dying cause someone finally said it in public
@@calebcologna8681 oh man he was losing it!
Yea I wonder why the fat ugly guys in the video would dislike women? Such a mystery.
Odette X Not sure what video you’re watching but having rewatched this a few times I saw one fat old guy and a whole bunch of average to attractive men and women.
Sounds like you’re feeling personally attacked because he said men broadly dislike some aspects of women and you took it to mean all men dislike you.
Odette X your profile pic is a zoomed in part of a face. That tells us you fat af lol
Patrice's was the official town crier for men
Town crier.......man, good reference, but jesus, in this day in age, who would know where thats from........besides, weve got billions of town criers now.
@@introgauge seems like everyone is a town crier now. Everything everyone says today matters for some fucking reason.
patrice believed in brutal honesty, it made him different than everyone else thats a town crier because after listening to him you have no choice but to agree because its real and it’s honest
I call him the Patron Saint of Men.
Indeed. He's very popular with ugly and/or fat guys.
Patrice was not only a comedian! I always referred to him as a comedy philosopher because he had such strong views on everything. Truly amazing. It was one of my greatest honors to be one of his co-hosts on the Black Phillip Show, and wherever I travel, even as far away as Japan people still stop me to tell me how much they loved Patrice and what we did on that show! The love for Patrice goes on!!!
I was 25 when "elephant in the room" came out was the first time i had seen him. At 38 I have watched it well over 70 times and not only has it gotten funnier, but it has made more sense and become and resonated with me personally as ive aged. The only piece of entertainment (movie, show, music, etc.) ever that has continued to grow in value and relevance with time. You're so lucky to have been able to work closely with a comedy legend!!
So whatever happened to the girls you brought for the black Phillip show?
"Mean it! Mean the kiss!"
LMAOOOO
The greatest i wish he was still around today:(
XoticMayhem same
@Kush Toker 10 years ago
Just imagine him on Joe Rogan OR Joey Diaz podcast. It would be amazing
@@phishtix452 just imagine with all the feminist and PC cops today 2020 would never be able to handle patrice lmao
instead his ex scammed a ton of people "in his honor" and fucked off with nearly 200k.... "ain't that better"
Not only were his insights great, he was so funny that women in the audience couldn't stay mad at him for telling the truth.
The first lady that appeared during the 02:54 joke laughing looks like she knew exactly what he was on about. 😂
Corey Holcomb has that affect on women in his audiences also........
@Slaterhater lol Fuck sake...
@amanda miller
Youre right, there should be more than one Patrice on Mt. Rushmore.
Listen to Patrice, youll get better promise, its the sickness leaving your body.
That is the true power of comedy. Telling the truth without upsetting people, so they finally accept it.
This guy speaking on a global level 🤣 applies no matter where you’re from
I was having a terrible day and this put a huge smile on my face what a man Patrice was.
When he's being funny, his jokes carry laughs, and when he's being serious, his words carry weight.
Sums Patrice up perfectly 👏🏾
Honestly it's a mixture of both, most of his stage time and appearances O & A and radio in general is hilarious.
Pure gold you just said right there
And when he walked down the street he carried both
I've read this EXACT same comment in another video...of Dave Chappelle.
I've listened to this bit about 17 times and it's still as if it's brand new every time... You truly had a gift Patrice...
Same, his stuff never gets old
Aint dat betta??? 😅
Ayeeee Chiseled Adonis in da buildin!!!! 🐐
Well said...
I still wanna know who tf got shot
150% accurate. Love my girl, but Patrice was absolutely right. “I don’t want you to leave, but there is a TV in the other room you know…”
I always come back to this bit, it kills me every time!!!!!! As a woman I can be honest and say I have done the kiss thing lmao, telling my husband to mean it😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That part cracked me up so hard hahaha!
A women that enjoys patrice is a good woman indeed.
You've don't almost all of it.
That's so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He's a lucky man.
He was just starting to become big before he died. He truly should had been more famous. Patrice O’Neal in my eyes was the funniest person ever.
There have been naturally funnier people and there have been better writers/thinkers. But there has never been a combination of the two as good as him.
I couldn't agree more. And the thing is you wouldn't be able to fully grasp his greatness and comedic mastery from his standup alone, you have to explore all of his radio appearances on Opie and Anthony, the Black Phillip show, when he would discuss and review movies on O&A (funniest movie reviews ever btw) and he was arguably one of the greatest at dealing with hecklers. He truly is the greatest comedian ever to me personally. He was too real for this world.
It's cold outside
Lincoln he refused to sell out / play the game. Simply honesty personified.
That’s a fact 💯
One of the funniest parts of the video is watching all the men dying of laughter
Yo you're brilliant how did you catch that I thought I was the only one who noticed
😂 because it's TRUE
wordz on a screen bruh, I am in tears. It is absolutely true.
Never seen a just for laughs audience crack up that much before
Agreed
"Men want to be alone but we don't want to be by ourselves"
Shit is so true 😂😂
His bit about the “Diane” story literally brought me to tears. Haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
The fact that he made Canadians laugh at women is a testament to his brilliance.
Just proves woman are the same all around the world 😂
@@dreedwards6859 i think if he performed in sweden now he would be hunted down by all those sjwfemcels
@@dreedwards6859 Only in the western world lol
@@vincivedivicilextalionas4036 That bad, huh
@@vincivedivicilextalionas4036 You've clearly only ever lived in the west.
“ I don’t even believe in ground karma” lmaoo⚰️
so many tshirt quotes
Brilliant line
Hilarious one of the greatest of all time 🤣🤣
this has to be my favorite bit of all time. Everytime I listen to this I laugh so hard I cry.
The “we want to be alone but not by ourselves” is probably the greatest description of how most of us feel most of the time.
I know right. My girl could never understand it.
well you can always have friends for that. Why bother to have girlfriends or wives for that matter?
@@antaraanikapiya , Because we still love your goofy selves, but don't always, constantly want to be showing it. Our alone time is part of us loving you, give us a break and we'll come to you and be ready to take you out or chat.
I'm in the most successful relationship now that I've ever been in thanks, in part, to everything this man left behind.
@@antaraanikapiya because we don't always want our friends in our dwelling...
Don’t be an incel. Forgive your mother, improve yourself and find a woman to support you
Lol I literally just opened the blinds earlier today because it was so dark in my husbands office 😂😂😂 I was like, “see babe! Sunlight! Much better for your eyes” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 whoops
Lols Atleast u had the courage to admit it
Ain't that better?
The thing is that Men know how to use the blinds. He probably was just more comfortable the way he was.
LMAO
this is funny. and now go make your hard working husband a sandwich, pumpkin.
How I felt listening from beginning to end. This man was a genius!
😀😄😆😂🤣😭
“Ain’t that better?!”
This is the best stand up routine of all time hands down.
"I kept the plane in the air" lmao thats genius
Everytime my girl does that I always say “ain’t that better” and she just laughs and stops immediately😂😂
Beautiful LMAO
😂😂😂😂
🤗🤗🤗
I Love this Comment So Much!
I'd cry laughing 🤦🏿♀️😂😂😂😂
We want to be alone, but not by our self. Give him every award that could or has been ever made with that one statement.
7:12 "A dry sandwich you don't want"
"Why is TV so loud? ...we'll turn it down"
"Ain't that better? Sweating."
This.. fkn KILLED ME. Because it's so true. Which is why I'm divorced. Listen to me gentlemen.. you think you want it, but you DO NOT.
Want what? Being divorced or being with a woman, I need to know
That line about being called from the other room, goddamn, That’s the realest shit.
Hell yea. I feel that way EVERYTIME.
there was an episode of the Black Phillip show where Patrice is telling a woman not to ask what a man has planned that day, rather she should tell him upfront what she want's from him and THEN he can decide if he is available or not. The woman thought she was clever by saying, "why is it that we want something from you? maybe we are planning on doing something for you" and Patrice laid it on her basically saying that is NEVER the case. If I remember, his line was something like, "when is the last time a woman said, Hey what are you doing Saturday? cause I was thinking about sucking your balls later" I freaking laughed so hard because it's true. When a woman asks your availability it is because she wants something FROM you, not because she is offering something to you.
Nick DipaoloFan the woman is Karith Foster.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 well that's not always true. I ask my boyfriend when he's free so we can have a night in with movies snacks and some other stuff...
@@SnowwhiteArticfox yes, we know, we know. "you're not like the other girls, you're 'different'". What about the other 9 out of ten times you ask about his availability? Probably wanting to go to your family functions, need help moving something, want him to meet your friends, etc. Go ahead and deny it, they all do.
This is so good it hurts
Aint that better
No lie. I laughed so hard that I started crying, my stomach started to ache, my back arched 😂🤣😅. . .
Hilarious
How relationship stereotypes transcend so many races and countries never ceases to amaze me and warm me that somewhere else someone is being driving crazy by there partner as well is reassuring
I laughed to the point of tears, rest in peace you absolute legend.
Patrice was a philosopher/comedian lmao. RIP King we miss ya.
imagine if partice was still around, his podcast would be crazy
Women will be calling in like mad old laddies buying something from infomercials. 😂
it would be amazing.. i always get sad that we won't have new clips of him spitting truth. He would do amazing on this day and age on youtube etc
Omg man
@@albertomoreno9795 nuh uh lol don't do that
Probably the most honest human being that ever lived. I've felt this way my entire life
This is by far the funniest skit ever, watched it over 20 times.
Patrice was the inner voice of every man on the face of the earth. He was more concerned with the happiness and well-being of men as a collective whole than personal glory. His Black Phillip Show is pure comedy gold plus an unmatched understanding of the female nature. If you listen to Patrice's advice and truly understand the philosophy behind it, you'll ALWAYS be able to handle any relationship problem you're having with your girls. Not a day goes by that I don't think about this legend and how much I owe it to him. You're sorely missed, big man! RIP!
Sadegh Taheri 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽redpilled knowledge before we even knew what hit us
ible Dable
Amén!!!!
@sadegh taheri - well said, your words should be on his tombstone. I just wish I could have appreciated his genius while he was alive. I listen to his O&A appearances all the time too
If you're ugly or fat like him and going after women out of your league then of course you're going to have relationship problems.
Ain’t that better, sweating...wrapped in a hot vine...can’t hear the tv... got a dry sandwich
AINT THAT BETTER
😂
Yo i was dying that whole part
God bless Patrice. Gone too soon.
That was too many nights on my couch
I'm literally in tears laughing hysterically watching that part, trying not to wake the babies up.. that bit was GENIUS and so true 😂😂😂😂
Man had me in tears hahahaha
This man was a philosopher and a scholar. Rip bud.
"I'm not an Atheist... I'm like...before that."
Me: *"I feel you"*
"U can chill in the vent" 😂🤣😂
Lmao my favorite part
@@christinacatalano me too😁
That stab in your heart when you accept there will never be another like him! RIP big guy!
How did he die?
@@kayepperson189 he was too funny
@@kayepperson189 diabetes
mate!! this has been hurting me since I was 23.. im 30 now
Greg Giraldo was another great comedian as well. Epic roaster.
Patrice O’Neal had a style all his own when doing stand up. Different comics have different ways of sharing their views on dating and relationships, and Patrice could make you laugh using only a few phrases with his facial expressions. As a comic, I continue to learn from him. RIP Patrice, and keep making them laugh in heaven.
This is my favorite standup routine. I wish we had more time with Patrice.
He totally described my marriage. You are deeply missed , good sir.
He managed to disguise his philosophy as comedy, a true genius
This describes him the best
So true. Carlin did this too.
Good insight. He just used comedic writing structure.
Just caught my girl cheating and I’m listening to this whilst I leave 😂💯 Patrice my breath of fresh air. Wisest man Iv heard on women
You follow Patrice yet still got cheated on 😂🤡
@@jadebarnes2716 every single person on this planet who isn't an incel got cheated on at some point. You're the clown cos it just means you don't know it 🤣
@@jadebarnes2716 women cheat more than men, they are just sneakier about it.
@@jadebarnes2716 some women will always cheat no matter what
@@jadebarnes2716 You are a child if you think anyone is immune to being cheated on.
“I kept the plane in the air you selfish bitch” … never laughed so hard 😂
Patrice O'Neal wasnt even a comic. He was the literal book of truth just occupying a human body temporarily.
I agree with you he was just amazing
Word became flesh?
That was beautiful. Yas!
No he wasn't a literal book. He wasn't 200 pages of paper found by a hardcover. That's what it means to literally be a book.
That's it. "Men want to be alone, but we don't want to be by ourselves". Truth.
Will forever be missed🕊
Miss this dude. RIP! Praying you're getting blessed in the next life.
Dude just described what being married is
@Andrews cool Damn bro, who hurt you
Christian Muxlow
Probably someone who took control of everything, divorce/financial raped him after cheating on him.
Bill Burrs “no reason to hit a woman” is a good bit about that lol
Andrews cool
Emotion
To. A. T.
After a hard days work, i would go home and sit on the toilet, to collect my thoughts.
The thing is... I never really had to relieve myself, while in the bathroom.
Tranquility is underrated!
I know the feeling. You go to stand up and your legs just don't wanna work anymore.
My dad would always go to the bathroom after work and be in there for like an hour. My mom was always concerned. One day I asked him if he just holds it all in until he gets home or something. He said, “nope, that’s where my books are and that’s the only way I can be left alone to read by myself.”
I spend half my day in that sweet box of solitude. When I close that door I'm single again. In my mind..
Some older men i know throughout life usually resolve this by getting a 'man cave'. Either a room or space that is wholly your own.
@@kaii231 Why don’t u just become single again 💀
You can't watch this without feeling pity of those half living married men... And being happy for being a freaking single dude... Man... The peace and quiet are PRICELESS
OMG he just kept going "An't that better" 😂🤣😭
The White dude in stitches laughing at the end... lol 😂😂😂😂
"I'm nat an atheist but I'm like before that." This man is realer than real.
lmfaooooo
Rightttt I couldnt have said it any better 🤣
Bahahahahaha so true
He could've just said agnostic 🤷🏾♂️
@@ricardosimms8548 if you say agnostic it implies you give a shit about it which he probably doesn't
This guy was a comedy genius. Sad that he's gone but I'm glad to have these videos to remember him.
4:41 made me laugh so hard I coughed up shit out of my lungs, I havnt smoked in years.
GOAT.
I can see why him and Bill Burr were such good friends.
So true. Very similar styles.
And they’re both from Boston
@Mehmet Abraham lived in jersey, was from Boston
He was born in Jersey or the City and raised in Boston then returned the Jersey
Very similar outlook on life 🖤
My granddad often said: Men are simple..all we want is " sex, sandwich, and silence." The baseball bit reminded me of that.
I'm a woman, and that's what I want too. It actually describes "extreme introverts" very well too, no matter what gender. 😊
Oh we have a unicorn here 🙄
@@richardbutkis Ikr, women and "extreme introverts" are mutually exclusive...
Well, I guess if Riley Dennis can identify as a women, so some women can be chill like a dude then... ┐(￣∀￣)┌
@@engrishsheep one can identify however they want but that doesn't mean it aligns with reality. There is THE truth and then there's your truth.
I get plenty of sex and sandwiches from my wife. Silence is on another level as I get plenty of silence as well. She's not learned how to speak much English yet. Yes, no, hungry, horny, boom boom, sleepy, shower, you like?, ok, baby and toilet are the only words she's proficient at. I ain't teaching her shit either!
I would be better if we still had Patrice still with us. Rest in Peace.
This man knew and understood humanity and relationships so well.
Diana hates gun, that's the best joke.
That "ain't that better" part is one of the funniest bits I've ever heard in my life. My soul has left my body.
Patrice definitely had a gift. In this bit he brilliantly described how I feel when with a woman.
“We want you…..somewhere…..in the dwelling….just not here” lmfaooooooo so true
Right in front of me
😂😂😂
Partice O'neal is the inner voice of men
true that
Yep...
The greatest there will never be another Patrice he was too funny. He speaks truth in his routine
I’ve replayed this so many times it’s ridiculously funny
He left such a long-lasting legacy on real, observational humor. No one can deliver line after line and work the crowd like him. Probably the only two that come close are Dave and Kevin.
im 32 years old and this is the first time ive seen patrice oneal - i was laughing tears at the end. not hyperbolically, literally. i cant remember the last time i laughed tears. holy shit
He truly was one of the unheralded greats. So funny 😂
If you haven't already done so you should go to the youtube page titled weston4020
Just discovered him today and I’m 40. 😂 😂 😂
Welcome to the Cult of Black Phillip
@@zorbogouskuunighu202 im 33 years now and i just rewatched the video because of your comment and i laughed tears again 😂😂🤣omg
Patrice was the voice of all men out there crying to be heard. Bless you wherever you are. Rest easy
Never gets old... Never... Can't have enought of this man 😁
Just got to see this clip for the first time literally tears at the end 😂😂😂
“Ain’t that better” comedy gold
The people who seem to understand and figure out life are always the ones to go too soon. It's as if they've found out the answer, and God just said "alright, you won, come on up before you give away all the secrets".
That's so trueee
Damn.... 😞 truest shit ever
Rs💯
@3-7-77
It isn't too late to find a donor. So hang in there.
@3-7-77 sorry to hear that . Stay strong .
When my wife comes to bother me I’m gonna put this on and act like it was just perfect timing lmao
One Of The Greatest Bits In Comedy...Legends Live Forever
I come back and watch this every once in a while.. comedy genius.
“...a dry sandwich you don’t want,” is too funny every time he says it
Everytime I hear “YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY” I laugh like it’s my first time hearing it. Rest in paradise to one of the greatest comedic minds
Your picture had me thinking about life and decisions.
BringTheWalrusBack you had me laugh after laugh.
LOUDMel LTBL what’s on your mind my brother
Chris Anor 🤣🤣🤣
He killed it! We will always love you Patrice one of the last real Comics
Absolute comedic genius!! RIP Patrice
I owe this man alot of my happiness. Nothing but respect Black Phill