How Often Should Couples Have Sex? (And Other Spicy Questions)

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  • čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
  • How Often Should Couples Have Sex? (And Other Spicy Questions)
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Komentáře • 462

  • @claudiaabadi3014
    @claudiaabadi3014 Před 2 měsíci +146

    My father used to go for a walk when he had a disagreement with my mother. I once asked him about it, and his answer was, " I do not want to say something I can not take back." A very wise attitude

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 Před 2 měsíci +5

      Yep. Words once spoken and actions once taken, can never be brought back. If you're at the point where you're so angry you're about to say or do something hurtful, it's best to walk away until you can calm down and be reasonable. I live by that.

    • @80sbaby___baby70
      @80sbaby___baby70 Před měsícem

      Thats actually the worse thing you can do . Never back down . She will lose respect for you.

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 Před měsícem

      @@80sbaby___baby70 um, no. I lose respect for the man who yells out hateful things instead of taking a minute to calm down. I have a lot of respect for the men who show restraint during a heated argument.

    • @detectivekimble6932
      @detectivekimble6932 Před měsícem

      @@80sbaby___baby70 Even from a masculine perspective, that is wrong. Losing control of your emotions is a weak move and she will lose respect when she see emotional incontinence from her man. If you casually say I'm taking a break from this, you exhibit control and sometimes she will feel regretful or even childish depending on what she said. Anyway, I'm okay with the movement of returning masculinity to relationships but don't make her the enemy. It is your partner in life still.

    • @juliehiggins6466
      @juliehiggins6466 Před měsícem

      ​@@80sbaby___baby70A man who has to show he is 'in control' actually does EXACTLY the opposite. He proves he's a bully and would rather destroy his wife to preserve his ego

  • @rob21
    @rob21 Před 7 měsíci +210

    If both want sex a lot, they have sex a lot. If neither want sex, then it's not a problem. The "how often" sex question only matters if there is a discrepancy in desire. For that, there is indeed a number. If one person wants sex all the time, then I'd say once a week is a hard minimum. Less than that, and somebody's needs aren't being met.

    • @anthill1510
      @anthill1510 Před 4 měsíci +4

      Bam!

    • @mylesgray3470
      @mylesgray3470 Před 3 měsíci +9

      Absolutely. Don’t ignore this issue early in a relationship because it only becomes a bigger issue as time goes on. Work on your sex appeal/game and if that doesn’t work, you might just be with the wrong person.

    • @hllymchll
      @hllymchll Před 2 měsíci +8

      bro my husband and I were fine until we had kids. now both of us are always too tired to do anything with/for each other. how sad is that lol we're only in our 30s and have the libido of 70 year olds

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 Před 2 měsíci +5

      ​@hllymchll My hubby and I are the opposite. He's 50 and I'm 48. If it's not at least 3 times a week he acts like he's going to die. When we're done he asks me if I'm trying to unalive him. I tell him he asked for it. Meanwhile our 14 year old pounds on the door saying "stop that! I don't want another sibling!" 😂

    • @zombine7103
      @zombine7103 Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@hllymchll damn thats really sad i wish the best for both of you.

  • @The.Meat.Sweats
    @The.Meat.Sweats Před rokem +312

    I watched a sermon on marriage and relationships and one piece of advice was “become the person who the person you are looking for is looking for.”

    • @beverlyhooks2182
      @beverlyhooks2182 Před 10 měsíci +24

      Be yourself

    • @otaku4Gaijin
      @otaku4Gaijin Před 7 měsíci +8

      Sounds like Jordan Peterson's advice - become the person you would seek.

    • @anthill1510
      @anthill1510 Před 4 měsíci +4

      @@otaku4Gaijin Not really. In some ways the person I seek is different from me from how I want to be. Otherwise how would we compliment each other?

    • @otaku4Gaijin
      @otaku4Gaijin Před 4 měsíci +1

      @anthill1510 Personality-wise, yes. What attracts tends to be a mix of similarities and differences. But what Peterson means is the striving aspect of who you want to be - generally, he's speaking of character.

    • @Kiai808
      @Kiai808 Před 3 měsíci +5

      Don’t be conformed to this world, be transformed by renewing your mind in Christ ❤

  • @kissed_by_sunshine_10
    @kissed_by_sunshine_10 Před 3 měsíci +83

    I really like this dude. He's such a bro. He's the therapist a man needs. He's a beast!

  • @liannemarie2504
    @liannemarie2504 Před 4 měsíci +114

    I am very blessed to say that my husband and I had all these hard talks before we got married. We talked about our values and how many kids we wanted and how we wanted to race them. I think it was an amazing thing but it just happened to organically. We've been married almost 12 years and have three beautiful children together. I am still so excited when this man walks through the door at the end of the day and I honestly can't take my eyes off of him. But I always tell everyone, it isn't up to me I didn't do anything, God just put him in front of me and there was nothing I could do but love him

    • @stephengallagher2209
      @stephengallagher2209 Před 3 měsíci +6

      You raced your kids? You monsters!

    • @liannemarie2504
      @liannemarie2504 Před 3 měsíci +4

      @stephengallagher2209 hey, life's tough you better learn to keep up or you're going to get left behind! If you're not first, your last!

    • @watchfulone9717
      @watchfulone9717 Před 3 měsíci

      I think he was trying to say raised...​@@liannemarie2504

    • @BeautifulLifeIngridAnn
      @BeautifulLifeIngridAnn Před 3 měsíci +5

      Oh my gosh I love this!

    • @chelseabarker2250
      @chelseabarker2250 Před 2 měsíci +3

      Beautiful story. I feel blessed in many similar ways and getting excited when he comes home every day spoke to my heart. 10 years in and it just gets better every day! ❤

  • @crewboy23
    @crewboy23 Před rokem +153

    In regards to knowing weather to fight. During my engagement period, when random family members and strangers found out i was getting married, almost all of them said to fight for the relationship as hard as you can b/c the grass is not greener on the other side. Some of them said leaving their spouse made them realize how much their spouse loved them when the love has now disappeared.

    • @weekendnomad5038
      @weekendnomad5038 Před rokem +15

      Right! My ex husband had a two year affair on me.. divorced me and was begging to come back in two weeks
      I honestly didn’t know about any of this until a few years back. He hid it well

    • @DallyDucky
      @DallyDucky Před rokem

      😊😊😊

    • @fairlyenjoyable
      @fairlyenjoyable Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@weekendnomad5038I'm sorry if this is out of line, and you of course don't have to answer, but how did you find out in the end?

    • @peacelove7437
      @peacelove7437 Před 8 měsíci +5

      Divorced was the best thing I ever did.

    • @mylesgray3470
      @mylesgray3470 Před 3 měsíci +4

      When you separate and immediately feel a burden has been lifted, get a divorce. So glad I did. Should have happened sooner.

  • @alittlepieceofearth
    @alittlepieceofearth Před rokem +79

    I'm not even married-- single gal here-- but what he said about "you can't start a new project until the last one is finished"-- I have totally had to make that rule for myself to keep from driving myself crazy. John must be my brother from another mother.

    • @BlueDauntless
      @BlueDauntless Před 3 měsíci

      I need this in my life.

    • @carolblair2845
      @carolblair2845 Před 3 měsíci

      Ok…. My husband died 2 years ago after a 46 year marriage. 8 months ago I started the carnivore way of eating, and one of the “benefits “ is an increased libido! I’m 77 year old widow….what the heck am I going to do with that??!! That should just be history at this stage of life😡

    • @bestrong1240
      @bestrong1240 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@carolblair2845what ever pushes your button,will work

  • @madalynmull1681
    @madalynmull1681 Před 9 měsíci +143

    Fight naked😂 its hard to be mad at each other if you naked!

  • @kristabeni6037
    @kristabeni6037 Před rokem +41

    Wow, the comment about “playing a game to not lose makes you play timid” incredible advice!

  • @marandamartin9377
    @marandamartin9377 Před rokem +31

    I love the rapid questions!! Great idea! I hope you can make this a weekly segment!

  • @cosmicshy637
    @cosmicshy637 Před rokem +13

    Love the lightening rounds! Great job, Dr. D! 🔥

  • @Shadowwind4
    @Shadowwind4 Před rokem +30

    This was a fun segment to watch I hope the keep doing it every so often

  • @pocmouse3909
    @pocmouse3909 Před rokem +76

    How do you maintain intimacy when young kids are at home? Easy, Lock the door. Next question.

    • @dianagabriela3287
      @dianagabriela3287 Před rokem +12

      Or just wait till in their beds asleep .. every kid sleeps

    • @sydcash1626
      @sydcash1626 Před rokem +18

      @@dianagabriela3287 a combo of both lol but when they are awake and we "disappear" in a maximum of 5 minutes they come looking for us.

    • @jimv77
      @jimv77 Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@dianagabriela328799% of the time the wife is also asleep by that time...sorry, just being honest....

    • @snsn7251
      @snsn7251 Před 8 měsíci

      😂😂😂

    • @carligarman7241
      @carligarman7241 Před 3 měsíci +2

      😂😂 Too many times we dont even remember to close the door. (Usually we are alone or kids are presumed asleep.) My kids have learned when to leave us alone and move on to a room usually to game with headphones 🎧 😂😂😂 Keep the bedroom active always! Babies and toddlers can still be in the room. They dont know whats happening... but maybe toddlers should be asleep 😅

  • @BaajAdebule
    @BaajAdebule Před 11 měsíci +5

    I love your videos/podcast so much. It has really helped me in a number of ways, even though I just found you a few months ago I think. Just want to say thank you for doing this and God bless you. And kudos as well to the rest of your team, your producer is great.

  • @IFBBProYeo
    @IFBBProYeo Před 2 měsíci +4

    Planning intimacy is actually a GREAT tool! There's a TON of women have a higher drive than their husband. You might feel strange, but trust me when you know it's coming & when, you dont have to worry about the thoughts of "how about tonight? No? Ok 😢Next day- how about tonight? No? Ok." Getting hurt and frustrated over and over with no end in sight. No trying to be a mind reader or get your hopes up just to get rejected. You get so much headspace and heart space back. And, you can make it even better with planning. & Even if its not a big to-do, you're coming together no matter what. Keep that communication open.
    Once you do it you'll be glad you did!

  • @desareecrane8734
    @desareecrane8734 Před rokem +40

    That was a lot of fun and at the same time informative to watch! 😊

  • @wesleyallen1214
    @wesleyallen1214 Před 11 měsíci +5

    Walking away can add fuel to the fire but it’s still on the person who wants to argue to light the fire. Walking away can be used to manipulate, but it’s a great way to keep yourself from over reacting

  • @bartathalon1
    @bartathalon1 Před rokem +28

    I wouldnt do DIY projects if the cost to hire someone wasn’t so exorbitant. I wanted a wider header put in over a doorway, contractor wanted $3000. I wanted a 16ft wall built, contractors wanted over $10,000 ... it would take my wife and I years to save up enough money to get all of our projects done if we didn’t do it ourselves.

    • @isaacfulton7731
      @isaacfulton7731 Před rokem +2

      Yeah it's like it took me 3 months working at it bit by bit. It'd take 2 years to save enough to hire someone

    • @xstevenx8132
      @xstevenx8132 Před měsícem

      I actually think think he swung and missed this one. It depends on the couple and they feel about it. I have family friends that absolutely love diy projects and do them together to the point where they started flipping houses because they love the time they get to spend together doing it.

  • @wooannie9592
    @wooannie9592 Před rokem +21

    I love this segment please do more!

  • @araineacutebrownnurse7315

    Dr. Delony gives such great advice!

  • @serenityjewel
    @serenityjewel Před měsícem +2

    His description about intimacy made me tear up. I owe this guy a huge apology. I stereotyped him as a “bro” and he’s a really intelligent man.

  • @BadddDoggg-id4po
    @BadddDoggg-id4po Před 4 měsíci +15

    After almost 30 years of marriage and here we are, my wife is going through menopause and we don't have kids, I always wanted kids. This is huge, you can't go back, you can't start over, and at some point you can't ever have kids because of biology. Not sure I would have left her because of it, but it's huge.

    • @DanielMontoya87
      @DanielMontoya87 Před 2 měsíci +1

      You can always adopt or knock up some other girl lol

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 Před 2 měsíci +4

      Both of my bother-in-laws wives did that to them. They wanted kids so bad, their wives knew it, but never told them they didn't. It's so sad and makes me angry for them.

    • @bonjovi2792
      @bonjovi2792 Před měsícem

      ​@DanielMontoya87
      If he's been married for 30 years, his swimmers likely aren't very healthy and chances of kid being messed up are not good.

    • @kellibuzzard9431
      @kellibuzzard9431 Před měsícem +1

      Did you discuss the issue before marriage, or...?

  • @flightsnotfeelings5867
    @flightsnotfeelings5867 Před 5 měsíci +12

    The question about being friends with your husbands friend’s wives hits home but to a harder extent. My 4 sister in laws hang out all the time without me and ignore my invites. It’s hard but after trying to reach out. You can’t keep disappointing yourself and let it go.

  • @melissazabower339
    @melissazabower339 Před rokem +22

    Re: the question about DIY -- my dad remodeled our house from attic on down over the course of 12 years. NOT ONE ROOM IS COMPLETELY FINISHED. Baseboards missing or inside of closets unpainted or a corner doesn't have the new flooring. Then he left the marriage and started over with a new house and a new wife. He's 67 and does the yard rather than the house. Love my dad but...

    • @8shroomfairy8
      @8shroomfairy8 Před 3 měsíci +2

      So... as a wife of this said behavior should I be worried. 35 y f, been with each other 18 years. Always unfinished projects, money thrown on tools and items that never get used.. laser cutter, 3d printer, never used. drills like big drills outside and also saws. He bought cabinets in Oct, not installed, never stained the doors like he said he would last month. He honestly sat around. Dishwasher bought Nov not hooked up. Pontoon boat outside for 3 years disassembled, old parts in yard, new parts in garage, flooring, he hired bro to redo. Me and my 17 yo son are now cleaning the yard. Throwing the old boat seats away from 2 years ago when he ripped them up. The list goes on. This is just the least 4 years of started and unfinished projects that cost a lot of money and literally nothing is being done with any of it. I have way too much to say I'm stopping now. 🧚‍♀️💞🌎

    • @Kelly_Mae
      @Kelly_Mae Před 2 měsíci

      @@8shroomfairy8could be adhd or depression

    • @courtneyborchak4813
      @courtneyborchak4813 Před měsícem

      Adhd..

  • @jeanr8359
    @jeanr8359 Před 9 měsíci +8

    Liked this….. I/we try not to fight…. My husband is someone with a history of ‘winning’ fights…. Smart and quick witted. Nothing really hurtful has been said…. Because I warned him those ‘words spoken in anger’ never leave the relationship. I have likely done more to make him angry in the initial parts of our relationship…. Once he was very angry with me and most likely rightfully so…. I apologized but he wanted to engage while angry. I wouldn’t bite and a few days later we were more able to discuss when air wasn’t as charged.

  • @Author_I
    @Author_I Před 9 měsíci +50

    26 yrs together: In the beginning it was 3+ times a day. 26 yrs later it is once a day or every other day. It keeps us in shape. I have a friend that has sex on holidays... it depends on health, activity level, etc.

    • @judyperri9496
      @judyperri9496 Před 3 měsíci

      Nothing worse then someone that brags about how many times they do it You’re just gross

    • @brennadover4201
      @brennadover4201 Před 3 měsíci +16

      Same with My husband and I first 6 years 3 times a day. We have been married 36 years with 4 kids and still have sex at least 4 days a week.

    • @saraamir896
      @saraamir896 Před 3 měsíci

      @@brennadover4201I aspire🙏🏻

    • @sjg5994
      @sjg5994 Před 3 měsíci +6

      As a single woman this is incredible to hear!

    • @jake6743
      @jake6743 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Every woman need to read this !!

  • @lulaslife
    @lulaslife Před rokem +45

    More more more lightning rounds. I enjoyed the short on point answers. Thanks Doc.

  • @cassk5147
    @cassk5147 Před rokem

    Love Dr. J’s advice!

  • @catherinemccright1256
    @catherinemccright1256 Před 2 měsíci +4

    my husband is the type who walks away and ear;y on that triggered such strong abandonment issues in me i would chase and fight to the death and it would always blow up in my face, when he walks away he has to give me a hug or some kind of acknowledgement that he loves me and hes coming back, thats helped alot and im learning to not to chase and that productive conversations can be had where i feel heard later on! tooks us the first 3 years of our relationship to figure out but weve come out on the other side even better freinds!

    • @thorie79
      @thorie79 Před měsícem

      You are lucky that he's willing to adjust to issues that you're working on. Hopefully you get better for him. It's amazing what people do for love, don't take it for granted.

  • @brandonbeck1946
    @brandonbeck1946 Před rokem +1

    These are awesome!

  • @magali44276
    @magali44276 Před rokem +13

    Dr. John! Could you call my husband and tell him personally about DIY projects!!?? 😂. Thank you

  • @laurajanesherman9126
    @laurajanesherman9126 Před 7 měsíci +3

    Lots of practical relationship advice!

  • @jill9606
    @jill9606 Před rokem +3

    I agree about the DIY advice. I would also add that you should be willing to hire professionals for some projects.

  • @mlyl7682
    @mlyl7682 Před rokem +9

    I love these rapid fire videos

  • @KidCity1985
    @KidCity1985 Před rokem +73

    John, you will be a better husband and father if you hire a pro to finish those jobs.

    • @marandamartin9377
      @marandamartin9377 Před rokem +8

      I agree. When we stay in our lane and put those hours in our business and hire out experts to do projects. We save time and money. Plus, it's done right the first time by an expert in their feild.

    • @johnmininger7472
      @johnmininger7472 Před 10 měsíci +3

      ​@marandamartin9377 - The truth is many people can't afford to have everything done by a pro. It's great if you can.

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa Před rokem +36

    Discuss whether or not you want children BEFORE you friggin get married! How many times to have sex? Don't frigging count or keep score! But do make time for closeness with each other. You may have sex, you may not. But work on being affectionate with each other. The rest will work itself out. I like these lightening rounds!

    • @crewboy23
      @crewboy23 Před rokem +5

      I wanted kids for the longest time. Now with how much peace in my life i have with my wife and a cat, has me doubting ever having them. Talked to my wife and she feels very similar. We agreed to revisit the topic in about a years time. The point of this is that things can change about kids before and during marriage.

    • @9liveslisa
      @9liveslisa Před rokem +5

      @@crewboy23 That is so true, but I still advise to discuss this topic before you get married. At least it will probably put you in a similar zone.

  • @heatherbrady6679
    @heatherbrady6679 Před rokem +9

    The thought of going out with a group of people terrifies me. I go out to eat with my workmates during work time and I'm married with no kids. I have a small dog and occasionally babysit for my niece and nephew. Husband and I go out to eat and go on vacations. That's all I need or want. I'm a huge introvert.

    • @EneEri
      @EneEri Před 11 měsíci +1

      Are you Gen Z? I’m Gen Z and I’m this way. Statistically many of us are that way.

  • @motoman869
    @motoman869 Před rokem +9

    Kids are a challenge but some of the best people on earth.

  • @22MrBigdog
    @22MrBigdog Před 2 měsíci +5

    You have to discuss stuff like having kids and values at the very beginning of a relationship so you do not waste each others time

    • @AAA-vk9vp
      @AAA-vk9vp Před měsícem +1

      Your thinking can change 5 10 years later

    • @garyaanderson214
      @garyaanderson214 Před 6 dny

      45 years in wife from large family. Us 2 kids planned shut down baby factory. Had goals and ideals talked it out we married young 20-19.I was coming from my Mom being married 5 times.We wanted long term success. I worked rotating shift work wasn't easy weekends and holidays I was gone alot.We wanted our kids family life to be what ours wasn't when we were growing up.We are very much in love and made it through.We laid out a road map early on.We are retired and enjoying grand children.

  • @smcb2202
    @smcb2202 Před 2 měsíci +1

    First answer was totally a Jordan Peterson answer!! Love it!

  • @stephen902
    @stephen902 Před 10 měsíci +15

    I never thought about having kids until I had one. Is the greatest thing one can do. It’s different than taking care of someone else’s kids.

    • @cleliaparnell8743
      @cleliaparnell8743 Před 6 měsíci +8

      I think that having children is one of the best things in life. You start seeing everyone differently like " oh! they were a child too" and you know how vulnerable we all can be, like your own little children. Makes you be kinder and want to listen . Having children grows your love for everyone. Does this make sense?

  • @nicklowe_
    @nicklowe_ Před rokem +3

    Sick intro graphics lol

  • @hardygunsalus9897
    @hardygunsalus9897 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Walking away is only a good strategy for a long term relationship if you are going to come back to it. It’s frustrating when someone always walks away from tough conversations and then the conversation never happens. By this logic If All tough conversations are looked at as a “fight” by one or both of the people then there’s no time to have tough convos.

  • @rebekah4761
    @rebekah4761 Před 3 měsíci +3

    The kid question could also have fostering as an alternative too.

  • @Ksee89
    @Ksee89 Před 8 měsíci +8

    5:47 "can you cheat proof a marriage?" On my phone this question played, then CZcams cut to a commercial break where the commentator actually said "garbage day!" 😂
    I thought it was John saying that at first 😂

  • @jake6743
    @jake6743 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Fighting with a love ones just creates more tension and drama.. avoid it and talk when ur calm .

  • @motoman869
    @motoman869 Před rokem +1

    Fighting hmm? Its important to fight over important things or it could crush the family. You fight fair. No physical violence. If you're heading towards ruin you need to fight to turn the ship or else you're all goin down. Early in the video he jokingly said divorce. Let no man separate what God has joined together. The two best be getting right with God. Time shows that Truth prevails.

  • @jeffjohnson3620
    @jeffjohnson3620 Před rokem +7

    14:50 is the start of the question you’d like to know in the header of the video.

  • @jill9606
    @jill9606 Před rokem +39

    For the intimacy question… step 1: don’t let the kids sleep in your bed!

    • @joesoap1727
      @joesoap1727 Před rokem +6

      WISE woman & fortunate husband

    • @jill9606
      @jill9606 Před rokem

      @@joesoap1727 lol thanks

    • @robertfisher2844
      @robertfisher2844 Před rokem +1

      How true is that 😆

    • @robertfisher2844
      @robertfisher2844 Před rokem

      I'm sure it's caused loads of issues between marriages over the years .unfortunately, it's part of life. You have to juggle around these things .

  • @lesliemarvin160
    @lesliemarvin160 Před 2 měsíci +2

    3 times a week at least. We do about 5-6. My husband needs that connection so i honor it.

  • @yeislyntorres5304
    @yeislyntorres5304 Před 11 měsíci +24

    My husband and I do it once a week. Its been like this for 6 years. We do spend intimate time every day after the kid goes to bed. Is a routine. Doing it once a week makes me miss him and he misses me so every time we do it is amazing and fun. I dress up for him etc and we pretend that we are different people every time. It works for us.

    • @kidforeverplz
      @kidforeverplz Před 10 měsíci +3

      Is it always on the same day and it’s scheduled or is it random and just so happens to always be once a week?

    • @yeislyntorres5304
      @yeislyntorres5304 Před 9 měsíci

      @@kidforeverplz is random but is always once a week after we put my toddler to bed

    • @andrewsnyder9262
      @andrewsnyder9262 Před 4 měsíci

      We keep it spicy like this also. There are no limits to fantasizing and we take advantage of that.

  • @mitsubachi6865
    @mitsubachi6865 Před 3 měsíci +3

    Intimacy wirh young kids tip I heard from a mother of 4 : do it in the laundry room. The kids associate this place with chores so they never come in this part of the house. Plus turn the dryer on for extra camouflage. It works for her.

  • @OUrNit03
    @OUrNit03 Před 2 měsíci +3

    There's nothing worse than being in a marriage where there's no intimacy. A relationship that becomes more of a coparenting/roommate situation is painful. Just tough when the other person checks out. Im living that as we speak.

    • @a.j.plummer8826
      @a.j.plummer8826 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Been there. Glad it's ending.

    • @Sublimemelancholy
      @Sublimemelancholy Před 2 měsíci

      Maybe You are the reason that she is checked out. Have you thought about that?

    • @thorie79
      @thorie79 Před měsícem +1

      ​@@SublimemelancholyAs soon as a relationship becomes an effort competition or blaming game, it's over. Not only is it antagonistic, but what if one person is right? So now, it's their fault. Congratulations, you've created a dynamic in your relationship that is about power and not love. Committing to cooperation, above all else is key. That means your partner's faults are your own. By blaming, you are isolating them on an island. You should accept their fault as your own problem, and sympathetically and cooperatively ask as a couple, "here's something we can work on together - it's both our responsibility to work on it no matter what" instead of "you have this x issue that you and only you have to fix".

    • @joshtuk
      @joshtuk Před 14 dny

      @@Sublimemelancholyor maybe it’s her

  • @IFBBProYeo
    @IFBBProYeo Před 2 měsíci

    Containing john to one minute is good training for him to distill down his great advice 😂

  • @evelynreinig1460
    @evelynreinig1460 Před 2 měsíci

    As much as they want!

  • @cg741graf5
    @cg741graf5 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Start by realizing men and women are different and that’s a good thing.

  • @janicewright4007
    @janicewright4007 Před 5 měsíci +3

    When you fight, fight naked.

  • @bunnybubs757
    @bunnybubs757 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Its your body telling you protect yourself from childhood trauma, a bad first love , a selfish mate , you don’t have to make him happy , your body is telling you it’s your fault , it’s not , it’s your horrible dad
    Its All
    About the body Teaching you and your Brain will
    Follow
    Your body is in protective mode
    Your body is telling you what to do

  • @aqua-mina
    @aqua-mina Před 3 měsíci +3

    When will we ever learn with these DIY projects? 😪🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @marvinbeiler4566
    @marvinbeiler4566 Před 8 měsíci +3

    5:30
    Way too many people use walking away as a form of manipulation and control. I personally hate it but I’m willing to listen to people who can use it when they know they’re in no shape to talk but they better communicate that correctly to the person they’re working with otherwise they are completely controlling the situation, I think it takes a stronger person to stay and talk carefully then it goes to walk away. Anyone can walk away. Just my two cents John nothing personal.

  • @ntme6506
    @ntme6506 Před rokem +5

    The unfinished projects question was probably from John's wife.

  • @swackhammer2139
    @swackhammer2139 Před rokem +22

    12:20 My wife feels this, they exclude her from everything. But they suck, so we got new friends.

    • @nancyglezhdez
      @nancyglezhdez Před rokem +2

      There’s probably a reason why!!! She’s probably weird!!

    • @swackhammer2139
      @swackhammer2139 Před rokem +2

      @Jada She is kind of weird. But she's not "Upload creepy ketchup commercials with terrible music" weird. That's a whole other level of akward.

    • @b00m_operat0r
      @b00m_operat0r Před 17 dny

      @@swackhammer2139
      😂😂😂

  • @user-kp6wo1ku8b
    @user-kp6wo1ku8b Před měsícem

    I love that he said take a knitting class! 😅 Then when they both retire and Grandma takes up knitting for the grandkids, they will have something to bond over as empty nesters. That's thinking ahead!

  • @TrekieGal
    @TrekieGal Před 3 měsíci +1

    Only 2 kids 5 and under? 😂 I've got 4 under 5 and still have lots of intimacy. Our only schedule is a once a week 30 minute show together. ❤

  • @lionmangolf
    @lionmangolf Před 2 měsíci +1

    Depends on age 🤔 😏 & attraction

  • @eliodegorge7285
    @eliodegorge7285 Před měsícem

    “I don’t think he’s going anyway” ouch

  • @Marsha_Ann
    @Marsha_Ann Před 9 měsíci +14

    I honestly don't know wat to do about my own intimacy problems. Most men would LOVE to have a woman with my high sex drive, and yet my own man recently has stopped with me... Any advice for that? To me, a normal and healthy amount of times to have sex with your partner when cohabitating with them should be at least 3X a week on average, but I would prefer at least 4-5 nights a week. I will never for the life of me understand how couples only get it in like 1-2x A MONTH 😵‍💫 Theres no sexual relationship there. And sex is highly significant in maintaining a long term relationship.

    • @peacelove7437
      @peacelove7437 Před 8 měsíci +3

      I agree! From a divorced woman when I was 44, always wanted sex. He had ED, no sex for 6 years 😔. Sex is super important. There was also no other intimacy, hugging, cuddling , talking in bed, etc. He was unhealthy, addicted to pain killers and alcohol.... divorced was the best thing..

    • @Marsha_Ann
      @Marsha_Ann Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@LindaQueLeenda only 4, same age as my sister. He's 37 and I'm about to be 33 next month.

    • @anthonydelgiudice3245
      @anthonydelgiudice3245 Před 7 měsíci +1

      my neighbors are like that the husband will come over and complain its once a month i would go crazy lol

    • @Marsha_Ann
      @Marsha_Ann Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@anthonydelgiudice3245 I smell a divorce. After he's caught cheating lol.

    • @bittehiereinfugen7723
      @bittehiereinfugen7723 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@Marsha_AnnMaybe he has a porn addiction?
      Read the book "Your Brain on Porn", maybe you will recognize problems there.
      My husband was addicted to porn, which is unfortunately now a very widespread problem.
      Good luck!

  • @johnmininger7472
    @johnmininger7472 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Oh how I dislike the discussion around the question in the title.

  • @AimeePoppinBabies
    @AimeePoppinBabies Před rokem +42

    As a woman with some options: we want a guy who is willing to be an amazing provider.

    • @weekendnomad5038
      @weekendnomad5038 Před rokem +5

      But also makes the relationship a priority

    • @garret8787
      @garret8787 Před rokem +21

      As a man with some options: we want a girl who is young and beautiful.
      At least you are honest that you are only looking for materialism.
      Biology makes girls look for a man with money and status to protect and provide while she is vulnerable (allowing her to safely have kids)
      Biology makes men look for a woman with fertility and health (young and beautiful) to protect and provide for while she has his kids

    • @AimeePoppinBabies
      @AimeePoppinBabies Před rokem +11

      @@garret8787 I am not looking for a man for what he can give me only (happily married to a rockstar of a man). That being said I think its important for women to pick a man who is a hard working provider (especially if you want kids). Women suffer a lot more in marriage as the dominant childcare giver, cook, cleaner, organizer, budgeter and (like myself) still somehow managing to work outside the home. Men benefit greatly from marriage - women benefit from divorce. 🤭 That being said I know many women married to lazy couch surfers who do the bare minimum. Looks only go so far when both parties age eventually. I picked my husband because he puts me first and also because I deeply love him. Food for thought.

    • @garret8787
      @garret8787 Před rokem +11

      @@AimeePoppinBabies A “married” woman who claims she has “options”… what a keeper. Either not married or not loyal.
      You already stated what you value in men: their ability to provide materially. That’s not love, that’s respect*. You love your kids unconditionally. You respect* your husband’s ability to provide you with things.
      That’s why I made fun of your shallow first comment, and am making fun of your response (Mirroring the shallowness from a male perspective).
      Women’s youth and beauty age and spoil like milk.
      Men’s ability to provide usually increases with age.
      Marriage drains men of finances, time, and freedom. Divorce frees them up to pursue whatever they want… including younger women. A divorced women (worse with kids) is like a used car with high mileage in the dating market.
      Once again, making fun of your silly shallow comment.
      Mostly kidding about this comment, so just laugh it off and have a nice week 😉

    • @AimeePoppinBabies
      @AimeePoppinBabies Před rokem +9

      @@garret8787 For the record: My loyalty depends on how a man treats me.

  • @faustinawicka7775
    @faustinawicka7775 Před 8 dny

    I really want to get John’s advice about my situation but i don’t know how I get ahold of him or the show.

  • @rollingacresfarmstead206
    @rollingacresfarmstead206 Před 10 měsíci +4

    The answer to the title 3-4 times a week😂 yeah my wife is😊.

  • @sithLinkGaming
    @sithLinkGaming Před měsícem

    You should be in desirably doing it as often as it is available to you as a couple and you want it

  • @d3r3kyasmar
    @d3r3kyasmar Před rokem +8

    I find the title to be a clickbait because “sex sells”.
    But nice segment though. Its still relevant to what this show should be.

  • @jcurri
    @jcurri Před měsícem

    That’s a very safe answer… it’s not wrong, but it’s safe.

  • @jesuslover5968
    @jesuslover5968 Před rokem +11

    If you’re broke you have no time to play

    • @biggslim100
      @biggslim100 Před rokem +1

      🎯

    • @lebumjames1373
      @lebumjames1373 Před rokem +2

      Don’t seek a relationship let alone have a kid if you’re broke. Get a stable income first.

    • @amiianectar
      @amiianectar Před 4 měsíci +1

      @@lebumjames1373what if you’re already in the relationship? Is it selfish to leave someone who isn’t financially stable.

  • @reliefwithoils
    @reliefwithoils Před měsícem

    "These questions are all about relationships" The Doc: "Ugh". 😂

  • @cathkails
    @cathkails Před 2 měsíci

    When he said go out swinging, he meant swing dancing, right?😅

  • @chrisflo24
    @chrisflo24 Před 11 měsíci +10

    Most married men are lucky and i mean lucky to average once a week. Some barely even have sex once a month and gets worse from there.

  • @melocoton7
    @melocoton7 Před měsícem

    I had to chuckle at the "friends wives ignore me" 🤣 I could not care less. I don't like many people and "having" to be friends with some randos just because they're married to my husbands friends makes no sense to me. I will be cordial and fun to hang out with in a group of course but making a friendship happen just because? Nah no thanks.

  • @marshareed1438
    @marshareed1438 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Don’t ever use sex as a weapon…no pun intended 😂

  • @destinyrivera7634
    @destinyrivera7634 Před 2 měsíci

    For me I'm the one who walks away in my relationship when conversations are getting too hectic and my partner looks at it as disrespectful like I don't want to continue the conversation and I look at it as ending something that is unproductive at the moment

    • @bonjovi2792
      @bonjovi2792 Před měsícem

      As long as you tell him that there is going to be a time when you talk about it again when you are both calm, then that is perfectly fine. Might even be better to schedule the time

  • @teresacadena2417
    @teresacadena2417 Před 3 měsíci

    My ex would run after me to fight instead of letting me have space

  • @bethanyreimer
    @bethanyreimer Před 2 měsíci

    I'd say my husband and I are about at the 11-13x per week 😊 almost 3 years into our marriage and I've got a 4 year old and we've got a 3 month old, and we make it a priority for sure 😊

  • @courtneyoglesby8569
    @courtneyoglesby8569 Před 2 měsíci

    Atleast once a day

  • @SugarBee23
    @SugarBee23 Před 3 měsíci

    The wives in the friend group: sometimes it is just impossible to break into an established group. "The wives" decided that we should all go out as an informal bachelorette party for me........and then decided to go on a day that I wasn't available. Then my now ex-husband couldn't understand why I never put in effort with them again.

  • @kaizenborntowin
    @kaizenborntowin Před rokem +19

    What advice would you give to a young single male looking for a relationship?
    Thank you for starting with that question! :)

    • @jesuslover5968
      @jesuslover5968 Před rokem +2

      Right I hate when CZcamsrs put something in the title and we have to fish for the clip

    • @grizzlybear2702
      @grizzlybear2702 Před rokem +5

      You must have a 8/10 good looking face and must be at least 190cm tall. Wether or not you find a relationship is all about your looks

    • @jesuslover5968
      @jesuslover5968 Před rokem +3

      @@grizzlybear2702 for women it’s usually about looks and being submissive if you’re a man it’s about how much money you have to be able to provide if a man can’t provide they take on a feminine role

    • @nouton7432
      @nouton7432 Před rokem +1

      have rules what are you standard are follow does rules, exercise try to look good, eat good/diet, u dont really need money it is pretty simple. ofc some girls go only for guys with money but if you have normal standard you don't even give them a chance use internet for dating, it is more about finding the right one then finding any girls that wanna be you

    • @I_like_turtles_67
      @I_like_turtles_67 Před rokem +5

      Stay single.
      Stack you money.
      Stay out of debt and if you need some loving. Hire a pro off a site.
      The 🐈 you pay for is the cheapest 🐈 you can buy.

  • @sandyconneely7040
    @sandyconneely7040 Před měsícem +1

    Invite his friends and there wives over for dinner. Break the ice .

  • @migrainemama7932
    @migrainemama7932 Před 2 měsíci

    Every other night ❤

  • @oterosocram25
    @oterosocram25 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Go and volunteer at a daycare or church children's ministry as a couple before even talking about children.

  • @feersty
    @feersty Před 2 měsíci

    What’s a season?

  • @tigeress699
    @tigeress699 Před 2 měsíci

    I agree with the fact that if you're married and you are dead set on having a child or more then one, you need to marry someone who feels the EXCAT same way too! If you don't want to have children, for whatever reason, that's perfectly fine and no one's business but your own!
    BUT... If you're married, no matter how long or how short, and they wanna have kids the relationship is dead in the water! Having children is the biggest responsibility in the world and not everyone is meant to have children. You have to be on the same page 100 percent when it comes to having kids, because if not it's going to end with animosity, hatred, loathing, and divorce! As nasty as divorce can be, it's even worse when children are involved!

  • @bevbayb3029
    @bevbayb3029 Před rokem +1

    I may have missed it, but where is James?

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Před rokem

      He quit to go back to the Ramsey show full time where he started. He does come in every once in a while to make sure “it hasn’t gotten off the rails” as Delony says. It was mentioned in are you ashamed of your feelings? the first 6 mins.

  • @shannonluck5066
    @shannonluck5066 Před 3 měsíci +1

    All children sleep 💤 that's your time for being a couple together... ❤

    • @shannonluck5066
      @shannonluck5066 Před 3 měsíci

      Twice a day like prayer... Morning and Evening 🎉

  • @DaveZZilla
    @DaveZZilla Před rokem

    What is the buzzer for?

    • @georgieeve2026
      @georgieeve2026 Před rokem

      It's a timer. Only 60 seconds allowed to answer the questions.

  • @YesYesYesJeff
    @YesYesYesJeff Před rokem +5

    Weighing yourself every day IS important. You just don't react to daily fluctuations, but rather take weekly averages every Monday (etc) and use those to see changes.

  • @22Steamboat
    @22Steamboat Před 9 měsíci

    Are you walking away OR are you running away?

  • @selenabryant2354
    @selenabryant2354 Před 15 dny

    How do I ask some questions

  • @lot2196
    @lot2196 Před rokem +13

    Colon cancer pretty much wiped out our sex life.

  • @spencergsmith
    @spencergsmith Před rokem

    What foods should you eat? That’s an easy question to answer.

  • @crystalwynn3910
    @crystalwynn3910 Před 9 měsíci +4

    What happens once I focus on making the best version of myself and discover complete happiness in being solo and independent and no longer have a desire to be in relationships and I reject every single option?

    • @spicybrown75
      @spicybrown75 Před 8 měsíci

      That means you live your best life. Simple.

    • @dgathome4345
      @dgathome4345 Před 2 měsíci

      It’s a very rare person that truly wants to be alone throughout life. Spouses and children make life complete.

    • @nirmalababu2051
      @nirmalababu2051 Před měsícem

      You, my dear , may be an old soul .You know what you need.Simply be you .
      Good luck .