"I don't feel the spark"

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 20. 01. 2024
  • A discussion of feelings of sparks, butterflies, chemistry, attraction, losing those things, and why you can't always just trust your gut.
    #relationships #dating #attraction #theone #avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #rocd #intuition
    Credits for media used (assumed to be fair use):
    Joe Rogan interviewing Miriam Nakamoto
    TikTok: The guy with the list
    TikTok and CZcams: @hoe_math
    Cover photo art by Tima Miroshnichenko: www.pexels.com/photo/woman-ho...

Komentáře • 21

  • @lisaaamoun3520
    @lisaaamoun3520 Před 6 měsíci +10

    It’s the same way when you have a baby. You are so in love the moment you lay eyes on them but over time as they grow it’s stressful making sure they’re safe and well cared for constantly. You still have those moments of the spark but not as intense.

  • @summersalix
    @summersalix Před 6 měsíci +7

    I believe I've read that the "spark" is more of a nervous system response that is actually trying to warn someone of a possibly bad situation... Not having the spark last forever, or it change for a more comfortable form of love, is a good sign.
    However, if both people put effort into the relationship, they can create forms of sparks or at least not let things die out. Sadly, often 1 person becomes complacent, and the contrast can be felt super hard by the one putting in the work, which can often be confused w losing sparks, when really its different amounts of effort being put into it

  • @andymholt
    @andymholt Před 6 měsíci +1

    Good to see some great interaction and responses to the video Chris )

  • @tunaste
    @tunaste Před 6 měsíci +1

    "Things that give you certainty don't give you truth." I agree with this wisdom and apply the same principle to religion!

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci

      Peter Rollins work on this is really good. Watch the trailer video for his book "the idolatry of God"

  • @Gebetino
    @Gebetino Před 6 měsíci +4

    If she says "there's no spark" means that something is lacking and she ain't feeling it. As a man all you need to do is to walk away and mean it. If, and only if, she comes back you might resume (if you're still interested). There is no flowers, gifts, expensive meals, acts of generosity that will ignite that spark that she isn't feeling. Walk away and find someone else.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci +2

      If she is someone who runs purely off emotions, then yes, she will lose the spark and leave, regardless of any commitments she makes. The man in the reddit post made the mistake of trying too hard with a woman who was led ultimately by her feelings.

  • @DesiringDevotion
    @DesiringDevotion Před 6 měsíci +1

    That is closer to the truth.

  • @lebambale
    @lebambale Před 6 měsíci +1

    The phrase "if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no" should be attributed to the female author Iris Murdoch

  • @lebambale
    @lebambale Před 6 měsíci

    However, to truly agree with smth in relation to dating, one needs to feel the agreement on all levels (rationally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.), I believe. Some compromises there and there, sure, but to be content most matters, aspects must 'click'.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Yes I agree. But even with that compatibility, feelings come and go.

    • @lebambale
      @lebambale Před 6 měsíci

      @@busybecomingmyself True!

    • @lebambale
      @lebambale Před 6 měsíci

      @@busybecomingmyself Really enjoyed your video, btw!

  • @jakubprefernottosay3133
    @jakubprefernottosay3133 Před 6 měsíci

    Hmm, but did you feel the spark in the beginning perion of the relationship? Might be a too personal question for the comment section.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Friends for 2 years before we got together so it's more complex than meeting a stranger and building a fantasy about it. But probably more real. That's all I'll say here.

  • @stetonwalters574
    @stetonwalters574 Před 6 měsíci +1

    No one deserves anything. Do you think the blind deserve not to see or that the deaf deserve not to hear. We obtain that which we have earned. Weather through sacrifice or Conquest

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci +1

      I am not sure how this relates to the video but ok

    • @stetonwalters574
      @stetonwalters574 Před 6 měsíci

      Why are you talking about the fact that you don't think you deserve love. No one deserves love you obtain love you are in love. Much like anything else in life. No one is brought into this world with any guarantees but one and that is that it will end. Looking at it like that you can view every our every minute every second as a miracle.
      Go out and earn ever Miracle you can.👍

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Před 6 měsíci

      @@stetonwalters574 because that was a belief I picked up early in childhood and it remained hidden away in various aspects of my personality. It may still remain but I have the tools to dissolve it now.