Humans Are Space Orcs "Stories and Antics" #2 [Binge Compilation]
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- čas přidán 16. 01. 2019
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"I have never met a kind that truly loves and hates its existence."
Me: *bursts out laughing*
I like how the PIZZA GUY was able to HACK and ALIEN SHIP. He should put that on his resume and get a better job
Dude Domino's Pizza Delivery is one of the most top quality jobs there is
You think you can get a job in this economy?
that guy have the be THE Pitzza guy, he is the dude that delivers pitzza to super heros.
What's wrong being the pizza guy? Everyone needs the pizza guy. As long as aliens see pizza as a threat to their society, there must *always* be the pizza guy to remain vigilant to ensure such a fine human dish does not get erased from universal memory of our species.
If you had seen how pissed off pizza guys bosses get when they have to give away a free pizza, it would be more remarkable that he survived his first day on the job.
Alien: Human, What are you drinking? is it more milk?
Human: No, Its glue.
Alien: *confused noises*
✨tatsy ✨
Alien, stay the fuck away from this dude. He is not sane.
Human 2:to be fair,Thats stupid even for human Standards
Everyone: *confused noises*
T a s t e y
so that's why working at Dominos requires multiple masters degrees and experiences in those fields
I never knew that alien abductions are part and parcel in this field of occupation...that explains sooooo much
I'm a delivery boy. Can confirm we are secretly masters sci-fi tech. I've survived 2 abductions this month. 2020 was brutal on my people, many were taken. The aliens know to fear Domino's, but they have yet to learn that not even they can out-pizza the hut.
H1: *arguing in Dutch*
H2: *replying in French*
H3: *lamenting their stupidity in Russian*
H4: *trying to calm everyone down in sign language*
A: ..... I'm not even going to ask.
ja das ongeveer hoe europa is zolang rusland niet stom wilt doen
Was zum teufel sagst du da der gehörlose ist der klügste...
@pencilduster2938 ta mere
Ryssar är mänsklighetens sanna barbarer... Amerika också antar jag. DAGS ATT SKAPA VÄRLDEN FÖRSTÖRANDE VAPEN
which of the many sign languages?
*_Humans Are Space Orcs deserves more attention than that Last Jedi movie._*
........sadly........I agree.
LUKE DIED!!!!!!!! DISNEY SUCKS NOW!!!! STICK TO MAKING YOUR OWN MOVIES DISNEY! STOP RUINING OUR FAVORITE MOVIE FRANCHISES!!!!!!
@Khaine's Lair What are you talking about? I'm not saying anything bad about Star Wars. I'm just agreeing with the initial statement because this thing has a lot of potential. Who knows? Maybe this becomes the newer, better Star Wars. I still like Star Wars, but I would like this stuff to be expanded upon.
@Khaine's Lair Ah. My mistake. Sorry.
Yes.
I am still under the belief that Earth is some kind of nature reserve.
Think about it, every planet we have seen is one biome across the entire planet. Earth? We have a whole range of biomes on a small planet, why wouldn’t they want to protect such an oddity?
Arguably, we've seen planets with two or three. Tidally locked with their star, one side burns and vaporizing metals, the other side the metal snows back down, and the twilight ring between the two.
Now, they're completely hellish, but it's still distinct biomes.
imagine
ten thousand years ago...
Alien: Humans, you shall be grown here to protect this planet
Humans: k lol bye
10000 years later
Aliens: DANG IT HUMANNNNNNN
Alex Hackett you can’t have different biomes on planets without life, that’s why they’re *biomes*
Other planets only seem to have "one biome" for one because in the case of exoplanets, we can't see them very well (and so we can only assume about their environments) and because their environments are so extreme compared to here on Earth. I'm sure life forms native to other worlds that we would call "one biome" would actually see their world as having many, that we just don't see that way because they're all extreme and therefore only slightly different. It's like the fact that it looks like there's more difference between the number 3 and the number 63 than there is between 9473824161 and 9473824261 even though there's actually a larger difference. That one digit makes a lot more difference when you're only working with 1-2 digits than 10. Life forms of Venus would be able to tell us exactly what environments are different on their world, and everything on Earth would look like a frigid, barren wasteland to them, like how we see Pluto. Yes we can see that there are differences between different parts of it, but to us, they aren't significant enough to call separate biomes, we would call the whole thing a frozen, barren wasteland.
It's almost like most of you haven't heard of exoplanets
Nerva learns about puberty:
N: Human, I have something to ask you.
H: Okay, ask away.
N: I’ve noticed that within the past two weeks, you’ve grown a lot taller, and your voice has changed. Are you suffering some kind of disease!
H: Oh no. This is normal among humans. It’s called puberty.
N: It’s NORMAL for humans to change voices?
H: Yeah, I was surprised too, but it happens to everyone.
N: Interesting... when DOES this happen?
H: Well, it’s different for everyone, but it usually happens between the teenage years.
N: What else happens during this “puberty”?
H: You might not wanna know...
N: *oh no.*
Them dealing with a pregnant woman (especially the mood swings and weird cravings)
@@Chokah Alien. Humans are scary.
I hope he voices this one (-:
N: what else happens in puberty
H: fuckin uh.... *Nut*
@@KonK4tsu 7
Alien discovers Legos
Nerva: *Steps on Legos*
Nerva: *Shrieks*
Human Catherine: Oh! Sorry Nerva, I forgot to clean up my Legos.
Nerva: You mean to say these tiny murder devices are called Legos.
Human Catherine: Actually, two things, Nerva. One: Legos are not murder devices, they are toys used for building cool stuff. Two: They are a lot of fun, and you should play with them. Just don't step on them. Here, I'll go get my get my bins of Legos.
Human Catherine: * leaves room and returns with three large bins if Legos* Here you go. Have fun. * Leaves room*
About 5 hours later
Nerva: *Barges into Catherine's room* Human Catherine, I have finished my Masterpiece!
Human Catherine: Okay, can I see?
Nerva: Yes, come.
Human Catherine: * Walks into room to see a large model spaceship* *Says in shock* You built that!
Nerva: Yes, I did. It even has functional cannons!
Human Catherine: ........ Oh God help me.....
The ending was perfect
Perfect!
11/10
Human Catherine: *realizes he meant stud shooters* Oh thank God
This time the alien freaks out the human, I like it
"What Exactly Is "Hardercore" Mode"
"If You Die In It, You Die In Real Life"
Me: ... Sword Art Online?
.hack//Sign?
OH NO
WE MUST PLAY IT ANYWAY
It would be hilarious if Nerva had to take care of an human baby for a day. The constant strugle of figuring out what this little thing want.
I can already hear his yells of "WHAT DO YOU WANT TINY HUMAN?"
Human Ted: *Comes home to see Nerva asleep in the cradle snuggling the baby like a teddy bare*
Oli364 lol
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, SMALL HUMAN CHILD!? WHY CAN YOU NOT MERELY TELL ME!?
baby: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*alien* : *SCREECH*
Human: - walks in - wait whats happening
baby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
human: oh nu its ok
Human: k brb
Alien: wot?
"NERVA, NO!" "NERVA YES!"
Hell yeah
Luckas Silver yeah I have to say we’re pretty [Redacted].
Yeah, that is pretty much [Deleted].
Luckas Silver that’s what I thought too
We are both the most and least dangerous SCPs
*Laughs in Iceberg*
Nerva learns about SCP foundation
N: What are you reading?
H: Oh, it's the SCP wiki. It's about a top-secret government orginat-
N: How, may I ask did they get the top secret research?
H: Well, it's about anomalies that could kill you, and SCP stand for-
N: I must keep away this dangerous informantion!
H: It's not r- she left.
Aliens: *ILL SCP THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN PLANET*
Imagine howed nerva react if the foundation did try to scp him or the foundation react to this
I would so love to see the conversation with an alien, trying to explain ADHD and Autism. Either both at the same time, or one at a time.
A: “So…some humans are have different brain structures?”
H: Sure do and I’m one of them
A: And..what does this do?
H: Depends on the severity but in general it makes us bad at emotional understanding,hate touch and kinda just less empathetic,at least in my experience as one.
A: For such a social species,this feels like a major disadvantage
H: It can be,in fact,there’s old myths that people with these traits weren’t even human and human babies were stolen by fairies and our lot were the evil replacements
A: Well,I’m sorry
H: Oh,it’s quite alright. We also have special interests which makes us shockingly good at remembering information to do with a specific topic. In that way,it’s like a superpower
A: So what you’re saying is you’re like a regular human but more driven by logic and incredibly good at recalling information that’s to do with a specific topic?
H: Yes
A: I mean no offence when I say this human but you just sound like a biological robot
alien learns of the metro games
H: damn it! where did that watchmen come from?!
A: (overhearing human) human!? whats wrong?!
H: i died because a dumb watchman jumped me from behind.
A: (looking around, confused) WHAT? WHERE IS THIS WATCHING MALE THAT ATTACKED YOU?!
H: oh, no, i meant in this video game im playing.
A: what? (looks over onto screen)
H: yeah, its called metro 2033. pretty fun.
A: why are those human structures abandoned and destroyed?
H: oh, the game takes place after a nuclear war in Russia. most of the game is spent in the metro and sewer systems.
A: wait, did you say it takes place after a nuclear war?
H: yeah.
A: so you "play" a simulation where you travel through the destroyed ruins of your civilization, surrounded by dead bodies?
H: you also have to kill some groups of humans that are surviving underground like bandits and Nazi's.
A: so you also have to eliminate some of the human groups that are left to survive after the complete devastation?!
H: yeah, you also have to kill tons of mutated animals like watchmen and spider-bugs.
A: but why?!
H: so you can nuke some super-sentient creatures to death.
A: so you have to exterminate an entire new intelligent species so that you can survive?
H: yeah, you get to watch the explosion at the end.
A: ...
A: please stay away from me.
that's actually good, now I wonder how he would act to other post apocalyptic Eastern Europe media like stalker and roadside picnic
@@terranium4139 or what happened in the plague
@@Dogprofile or if they find SsethTzeentach's channel
Alien: Human, what are you drinking?
Human: Oh, this? This is beer. Want some?
Alien: *brief moment of contemplation* Very well.
Human: *cracks open a cold one and hands it to Alien*
Alien: *sniffs, then cringes slightly* What exactly is this made from?
Human: Basically an assortment of grains left to ferment for about a year in an air-tight environment.
Alien: Fascinating. What sort of chemicals does this process produce? *takes a sip, sloshes in mouth*
Human: Well, I don't know the specifics, but the major one is alcohol-
Alien: *spit take, coughs and sputters* A-ALCOHOL!!! That's one of the most deadly chemicals one can force down an organic life form's digestive tract! Why would you WILLINGLY drink this?!
Human: Well for one, most of us think it, and other drinks like it, taste good. And two, if you drink enough of it, you get a real pleasant sensation.
Alien: And you suffer NO adverse side effects?
Human: Well, if you drink too much, it'll flush your reasoning, motor skills, and impulse control down the crapper. And long term consumption's been known to kill brain cells, give you ulcers, and fuck up your liver...
Alien: ...Let me get this straight. This beverage, and others like it, contains an ultra deadly chemical, which, by your own admission, wreaks havoc on your internal organs, and re-wires your brain into what your culture would define as an "ass". And you willing and regularly drink this swill, BECAUSE IT TASTES AND FEELS GOOD?
Human: Y-yes?...
Alien: ...I don't know which idea your species is making me question more; Intelligent design by a higher being, or the randomness of natural selection.
:A lot of people used to drink it and pretend it's the blood of a higher being who created them
:*Exasperated sigh* you're going to need to explain this a bit more.
:Okay but you're definitely going to want another drink for this
But natural selection isn't random though.
@@FrancisR420
A: sigh *Fine....*
Wait until you discover cannabis.
Thanga Meenakshi Ekidna says otherwise
Now that i think about it, all of theese stories is basicly us stroking our own shaft.
holy shit we are actually orcs.
Just more boring. Orcs rule
Yeah that's why I prefer the comments of just people making fun of stuff we do
If I wanted lame philosophical sci-fi drama I would watch Doctor Who.
Wait, Doctor Who / humans are space Orcs Theory: the doctor is nerva humans are space Orcs is some early diary
One problem with that. I'm fairly sure that due to their method of reproduction the most commonly known "Space orcs" AKA "Orks" from WH40K... do not HAVE penises.
@@DGneoseeker1 I think that's why there's a delineation between the two, considering how c and k swap with each other depending on which you reference. Reference to "space orcs"= the fantastically brutal, tough, and dumb hordes of fantasy that have cultural traditions and technological advancements that seem barbaric to everyone else, who nevertheless manage to coexist with the other races in certain settings.
Then, reference to "space orks"= WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! MORE DAKKA!!!!
I feel more like they are boundlessly hopeful when the reality is we are far more likely to kill ourselves before reaching a fraction of that glory
I wonder how aliens would react to all those movies about us killing aliens.
Honestly
And all those movies we have of croasbreeding with aliens
And living with aliens
@ Kbye Bleha They think the original Star Trek is a documentary about a human male's journey to mate with every species in the galaxy....Fanfic writers TO YOUR KEYBOARDS!
Chokah oh no ;)
Well to be fair in many of them the aliens attack first
Oh my god don't f with Dominos pizza guy.
agreed
What? Are aliens the foundation? *Secure, Contain, Protect* is legit their moto
What's that?
@@Kimmy0721 look up scp
@@dawnless852 ok
@@dawnless852 I still don't get it
a alien foundation would be a good GOI
I would like to point out that in human history, most of the heinous actions that were mentioned can be traced back to the action of one evil human in a position of power. Evil humans in power are something of a rarity.
An evil person can only come into power under the right circumstances. If everyone knows that person is evil or doing bad things, but follow them anyway, they are just as much to blame as the person in power. If the German people, German army or both thought Hitler was going too far and had to be stopped, there would have been little he could have done. There have been times where people decided the leader was evil and took over control. An example of this is the wars the former colonies fought for freedom against their European suppressors, or the American revolutionary war. While you have a point, it was often because of an evil leader, that person could only do what they did with the support of the people
An evil human acting as a leader is only a catalyst, not the source of all evil actions. Remember that no one views themselves as a villain, and even people knowing they are doing wrong will often justify that they must provide for their own and protect their own families. To simplify this down and find a few bad men to point the finger at is the disregard the selfish nature of humanity, and our willingness to do atrocious things if it means we get to be alright ourselves, or our families do.
.... ehhhhhh. Almost all leaders of civilizations in recorded history have enacted crimes against humanity in some way or form. War is an awful thing that has never been 'good'. And persecution for various reasons has been a thing for almost all human history.
Reading these comments makes me want a futuristic anime with the main character being a pizza guy, and for some reason crazy crap keeps happening to him, but he still makes it within the 30-minute time frame.
I think your brain has been Fryed, call Dr. Zoidburg.
@@kleinjahr hehehehheheehheeh
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA
Now that
That is something I would watch
Why does that remind me of a side character in a roblox game-
Imagine a ninja delivery guy
Enough with the aliens and humans, I want to see aliens reacting to Earth's animals too, like cats.
The video was cool tho, I liked it.👍🏻
"Fire breather with facial hair. I have been assured it in fact does not breath fire"
There is one. It was only a small part. But the alien also had a pet. And it was basically a tiny Xenomorph... xD
Yeah I knew about the bearded dragon and the pet, but I so want more!
Or was it from God Creates Animals? Now I'm confused
Guy opening the door: "Dammit, 29 minutes and 38 secoooooo...
Pizza man standing in front of half-crashed alien ship: "Dont underestimate our 30 minutes or its free policy"
H: (Opens Minecraft)
A: “What’s that?”
H: “A video game.”
A: “What can you do in it?”
H: “Well nearly anything, your imagination is your limit.”
A: “Can I try it out, human?”
H: “Sure! Just let me get you a laptop.” (Pulls out a second laptop, turns it on, opens MC on it, then hands it to the alien)
(The two join a multiplayer world together.)
(Later)
A: “Look at this!” (Has a giant extravagant mansion built with working redstone cannons as defense)
H: “Holy sh**” (only has a little house hahahhhhahh)
A: “hëhë”
H: “H o w”
A: “That isn’t information for me to just hand out to humans.” (Smug look)
Did earth just become an scp
Yes, yes it did.
And it is the best think ever.
It's always been one. Especially Australia.
@@__-dr5vm
most likely
Fuck yea, and that’s probably the most accurate means of classifying us, as we will likely defy most in our pursuits.
*Laughs in Iceberg*
*aliens discover Pikmin*
Alien: Human what game is that?
Human: Oh its a game called 'Pikmin'. Specifically Pikmin 3. Its a series of realtime strategy games where you help expand a species called 'Pikmin' and in exchange, they help you survive on this planet
Alien: I-im sorry...are you...throwing those creatures at monsters several times your size?
Human: Yep! Oh shit! Their getting eaten!
Alien: WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT!?
Human: Because these monsters will kill us first! -loses 13 pikmin to a Bulbear-dammit! Oh well, taking him back should fix that
Alien: Take him back? What are you?-witnesses the bulbear get sucked into the onion and more pikmin grow-
Human: Im sorry you were saying?
Alien: *confused noises*
Human:...Kra-Xix?
Alien: *confused screaming*
Vey-Rah: Wait... is that planet PNF-404 Alpha?
Human: the name in the game is pnf-404 yes.
Vey-Rah: How did they get footage of the planet's surface? that place is nearly uninhabitable.
Human: wait, YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S A REAL PLACE?!
Vey-Rah: yes, but it's complet-
Human: *runs to the bridge* Captain! I have a new mission!
"Oh, Nine Gods, don't talk about humans around me. I had more than enough of them back on [M33-6]."
"Jungle world. Absolute nightmare, and to this day the Collective refuses to say why we were fighting there. I saw ONE of the humans during my entire stay on the planet. He jumped up from behind me with a gun- powder-based ballistic weapon, and the only thing that worked on that rock, since the damp shorted out our energy rifles. Anyhow, he was lathered in mud and leaves as a sort of camoflauge, and as long as I live I will never forget the look in his eyes. That was a look better attributed to a yx-hound gone mad. Sat vids would later show that he had been lying there for nearly 4 cycles, barely moving at all, waiting for someone to come by. And then he jumps up and doesn't even USE his weapon, but rather the sharp blade on the end of it. *long sip*"
"So he stabs me through the [lower torso], and I fall down, unable to move my lower appendages. He severed my spinal column with that one blow, and yet he continued stabbing me- FOUR MORE TIMES- until my squad opened fire. He turns around, not even bothering to dive for cover, and kills two more of them, injuring five, with that archaic rifle of his before he gets torn in half by an energy beam."
[long pause] "That was the ONLY human I ever saw. One of them nearly killed me- crippled me for life- wounded five, killed two, and this man was almost completely unarmed, with nothing but his pants, boots, helmet, and gun. Maniac. And then there were their other tactics- burning the forests, using toxins to kill the plantlife, mowing down vast swathes of green with orbital bombardment. Nothing would stop them. Nothing."
"[M33-6] was a complete and utter defeat. To the humans, it was merely a minor skirmish- I'm told they've had wars among themselves with higher body counts. The humans won the world, and its industry, after stripping it of nearly half its plantlife and a quarter of its cityscape. They lost maybe eighty thousand troops. We lost nearly ten times that many. Don't speak to me about humans."
Yikes. That sounds like a veteran having Vietnam flashbacks. Don't ask what that means. You don't want to know.
"I will choose to secure, contain, and protect the Earth..."
All SCP fans: 👀
Just saying, the intro is literally “Deathworlders”. The alien races of the universe learn about humans and freak out after realizing they are stronger (and more intelligent) than their own prior “boogeyman” of the Universe, The Hunters.
@Connor Reese We are the personification of "Jack of All Traits, Master or None" just with a spin on it:
We are the Masters of Creativity and Ingenuiety with a natural drive to spend as least effort and resources as possible, meaning we are instinctivly drawn to increasing efficiency. But this also makes us realise other Traits exist, analyse and practice them, making us as a species Master of All... which also includes a lot of dumb and uneccessary stuff like zealotry, greed and prejudice.
@@voidjockey82
95% of the animal kingdom on the planet: Intelligence seems useless. Eh! I don't want to upgrade it
A primate griefer species: What if I max out my intelligence lol
" no THIS is a gun " I think that nerva has spent to long looking at Merica
she weighs 100 kilograms and fires custom cartrages at ten-thousand rounds per minute.
lars van zanten I did not know that
@@masoncray9815 it costs four hundred thousand of your earth "dollars" to fire this weapon, for twelve seconds.
WAS THAT SERIOUSLY AN ALIEN SCP FOUNDATION AGENT AT THE START????
Is the start of it. =P
Earth. The OG SCP.
Multiverse theory
Well he IS looking through possible alternate futures....
Dr Bright is not allowed to talk to Nirva.
Alien log 103: The Humans have ask us to allow residence to their companions or as they call it "pets" and after questioning we decided it would be a positive learning experience and agreed. Oh for the love of the human called God was that a bad idea!...
the first animal is small covered in fur has sharp claws which can be contracted at will as to give the impression of safety, i wish they told us this before we tried to lift this creature. Named as "Cat" it randomly speaks or atleast tries to speak using high pitch long screeches which humans find cute (for what reason we will never know), WARNING: Do not try to communicate with this creature or it will attack you, it is not interested in communication but rather food and being touched BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG or else it attacks you again with the previously mentioned weapons.
The second is larger and lacks claws but rather possesses large teeth which seem to be what the body was built around, we know this creature is safe only once it releases this flesh piece from its mouth the humans have called tongue apparently they do this to "Pant" or release heat. This creature is called Dog and can only do basic communication through body language as the only verbal language it speaks is short bursts of varying noises called "Barks" we believe this indicates anger.
Our ships waste disposal systems are having a demanding time now that it must accommodate the defecation and urination of these two added creatures (and we believed the humans defecation was retched) and as if the cleaning was not demanding enough these creatures do not understand the human urinals as the dog thinks it to be a source of water. The cat requires a rectangular box filled with sand and the dog must be given its own room filled with sand as it is to large to defecate in a box but also cannot stay in this area as it dirties the body of this creature which unlike the cat doesnt seem interested in any further way of cleaning itself other that licking its genitalia (Humans cannot do this but the male one wishes too).
End Log.
Personal Log: Oh dear Kliporakandazovu this was the worst mission our elders sent us on by FAR!
These life forms are beyond taxing and we seem to learn less from them than they from us!
I understand why our predecessors left their planet alone and am starting to wish we had too.
(Humans cannot do this but the male one wishes too) had me dying
Imagine they learn about snakes or worse yet
….parrots
@@birdmcturd1626 Um... a pet snake is much weirder than a pet parrot. I suppose the whole parrots mimicking human speech thing would be confusing. However, image the reaction to keeping an actual dangerous predator AS A PET. Sure, I get that the specific species of snakes that people own as pets are reasonably safe but try explaining that to an alien. It would definitely be an interesting conversation.
@@anonymoususer188 Oh,yeah,I know but I just think the mimicking would mess with the alien so much
As a proud Dominoes delivery driver, I can only salute proudly at the pizza story.
Imagine aliens reacting to humans fighting dirty.
*pocket sand*
*BITE*
A: Human Todd why are those humans biting and stabbing each other?
H: Oh that's called an underground fighting arena we usually have them to amuse ourselves and to get adrenaline flowing through our brains
A: Wait adrenaline? Isn't that the chemical that makes you temporarily immune to fear and pain but is toxic?
H: Yeah it is but some of us can get addicted to it and it feels great
A: So you guys fight each other for fun sometimes giving each other nearly fatal wounds?
H: Sometimes they can actually be fatal
A:... You know if there was a single species even somewhat rivaling half of your barbaric tendencies but weren't as lazy as you they would have become the emperors of the universe by now
The beginning nearly had me in tears I won’t lie
ok, I have no clue what sort of story would go along with this, but how would aliens react to CPR? The idea that, though we humans still have a lot to learn about ourselves, we still understand our own biology enough to be able to take the place of it for someone suffering some sort of heart problem until help arrives. I just imagine Nerva and the human are walking around on Earth when someone's heart stops and suddenly everyone seems prepared (A best case scenario). One guy's grabbing a portable defibrillator unit, one is calling 911, and the rest are giving CPR, each one taking over as the others get exhausted.
:It would appear your human friend has stopped breathing
: oh my God! someone help!
:What are you doing he's clearly ceased life functions I understand your species feels sorrow at this time.
*Listens for breathing*
Do humans normally speak after death?
*Begins chest compressions*
what are you doing to that corpse?
*Mouth to mouth*
I've heard of human kissing but this hardly seems appropriate
*The man sputters back to life*
:Oh that guy was dead
What did you do?
:CPR stands for chest compression resuscitation
:you're saying you revive members of your own species by slowly beating them in the chest after death?
:yes sometimes it can break ribs
Later at the bottom of a flight of stairs
:What are you doing!
: this man appears to have fallen down the steps and I am administering CPR to revive him
That won't work you might as well stop how long have you been here?
: I have been here hours what do you mean this won't work I've seen this work on other humans?
:CPR doesn't work that long after someone's died and it seems he's died of a head wound
:Yes?
:CPR wont work on wounds like that,
why don't you help me move him so no one sees him like this... oh my God what happened to his chest feels like all of his ribs are broken!
: I was under the impression that might help
@@FrancisR420 OH SHIT
Nerva: You humans, honestly your barbarism is utterly baffling, you're capable of such untold destruction and yet the only beings you seem hell bent on destroying are yourselves.
Human: Maybe but have you ever considered that were so self destructive, because we're just naturally violent and have had nothing aside from ourselves to fight?
Nerva:.........*backs out of the human's living quarters*
Human: Nerva, where you going? Nerva?
I mean if doom guy is any example...
here is SCP-Earth under watch and protection of capitain Nerva.
To be honest, they could use the help. :-)
it's appolyon. we cannot be contained, we are preparing for dysons and on the verge of immortality.
05-N Nerva is the member of the 05 council to protect SCP Earth which varies from safe, Euclid, Keter, and appoylon. Soon this SCP will become terminated and scp-1 to scp-100 maybe transported to SCP mars
*LAUGHS IN ICEBERG*
I’m pretty sure that it’s either Appolyon, Thamuel or some combination of both
l shed tears listening to the Dryzal story. that one is probably my favorite one yet.
The duality of humanity: When we become a space-faring people we are as likely to produce Xenophobic Adeptus Astartes from Warhammer 40k as we are to produce loyal warriors like Jim Raynor from Starcraft.
The punchline? The equipment and lethality might be the exact same in either scenario.
That Subnautica reference... pure gold
Nerva discovers masahiro sakuri and the smash brothers series
Nerva: *walks to the tv with a game going on* um mark what are lewis and shelly doing... Why is there a potted plant fighting a very muscular wrestling feline that is also a bipedal organism?
Mark: oh this is a gaming franchise called Super smash brothers... And this is there recent game.
Nerva: i see... It seems cheerful... And maybe a bit addictive.
Mark: Well it can be... Some people back on earth played this for fun... Others had competitive matches at tournaments... Whether it be a local get together or just for a quick running of fun... Its truly amazing what one man can maken
Nerva: wait a moment... Your saying one person made this game 'series'm
Mark: well technically yes... Masahiro sakuri is the one who pitched the idea to make this.
Nerva: didnt this soccerguy also make a game based around gluttony?
Mark: its sakuri... And yes. Still back on earth people adored these games since 1999 when the firat one was released.
Nerva: so this game has been running a series since 1999 and are still being played to this day?
Mark: yes... Amazing isnt it
Nerva: man keeping score of all this must take years of mastery and research.
Mark: *is snickering loudly*
Nerva:.... What whats so funny
Mark: its a joke with in the community.... You wouldn't understand
I know this could be ignored but if anyone is willing to do a voice over on this feel free
okay I'm being dumb, what joke are we referring to here??
@@MxCAT7 considering the dialogue before it, might be something about the history of it, whether it be some major events happening in the course of the games history and community history, otherwise I'm just trying to comprehend what is this joke this guy is referring.
@@MxCAT7 I think they were talking about the internet
@@MxCAT7 I'm pretty sure this conversation is set at least a hundred years from now... It's probably referencing something that doesn't have content yet but will towards the end of my natural lifespan.
Alien: I see u discovered powerful weapons through these 2 world wars u had?
Human: Yes
Alien:Was this a good thing?
Human:Well yes, but actually no
Alien: i dont understand...
Human: Its good cause we discovered great technology for travel and defense but we did kill many humans
Alien:So u had 2 do u think u will have more?
Human: We dont know..
Alien: U DONT KNOW?!
Human: yeh, we could have another today or tomorrow or 10 years from now..
Alien: What! So u live in constant fear of death from yourselves?!
Human: Yip!
The human-dryzal war story is my favorite part
This has actually raised a pretty big question for me, what if the reason why game creators of simulation style games where you solve problems were inspired to make those games by aliens who needed a solution to a problem that they couldn’t solve themselves
how does an egg have more attention that humans are space orcs
Because EGG
@@Peach-ht2nr nO
@@barbi2503 E g G
@@jaxhiggs8682 *_I r e f U s E_*
EGG GOD
Project ORC is my favorite series on this channel, I cant wait to see more of the lore of this Universe. Also, what if a human joined Nerva on a trip to his homeworld?
PURE HILARITY AND AWESOMENESS ENSUES
Jonathan Rodriguez yes that would be great
Alien: what is this "fanfiction"?
human: basiclly people write whatever the hell they want about something, its kinda like rule 34
alien, having been explained what rule 34 is: i am disgusted by that but also intrigued.
edit i know this is bad so i leave it up to the comment section to fix it
I just hope that Project ORC tackles the heavy stuff with a more even hand then Tumblr is known for. Too often arguments are made against illusions of echo's and shadows
They tend to forget that even the greatest of tragedies happen over the course of ages and have a myriad of factors to establish grays as opposed to everything being black and white. An evil act may not have an evil motivation, and may be viewed as noble by the people acting, or at least necessary. Tumblr is terrible at recognizing the reality of our world.
The aliens reacting to the engineering and technological marvels of pipe organs would be something to behold...
“And so, I will secure,”
Me:*softly*dont
“Contain”
Me:I don’t like where this is going
“And protect”
GODDAMN IT
The entirety of Humanity as an SCP? Yea seems right.
Illuminati confirmed. It may be even SCP-1.
@@akiyucshnikov6467 Considering there is no canon, it could definitely be possible that humanity is SCP 001.
If I had the skills I would love to animate this. I'm a self taught artist, but I don't think I could easily master animation lol.
Chaotic Williow you can always try!
Hows it going so far
Human: bier, kaffe
Human: nine, tae
Allian: what , what was that
Human: German
Allian: what’s “German”
Human: German is a language, what I just said was “no tea”.
I know this the wrong thing but I wanted
Let’s go Nerva!
Let's go!!! *CLAP CLAP CLAP *
Me: Hears the words "Secure, Contain, and Protect"
Also Me: HOLY SHIT DID ALIENS CREATE SCP????
Omg if you do get round to creating the project orc animated series try to get a deal with Netflix 1 you'll get more money than on yt and 2 you'll see how many people love what you do outside of CZcams it would be so popular lol
1 and only sw1tch THAT WOULD BE AWSOME
And you might get funding for more than one season. How badass would that be?
@@nullblasterthevoidmaker1750 that would be awesome
@@oneandonlysw1tch It would give me a reason to actually get Netflix. This is my favorite series that he does. Mostly because I've met a lot of Aliens (and could be called one myself) and the general reactions of Nerva to humans are pretty accurate. The comedy value is also just plain fantastic.
He would have to have the first season turn over a lot of views... Rooster Teeth got recognized after a few successful seasons
at this point you really should visit the r/HFY subreddit... tons of humans being space-orks kinda stories
Alien: What are you drinking.
Human: Coffee.
Alien sips: This is terrible. Why do you drink it?
Human: I need to drink it or I feel terrible.
Alien: Some kind of medicine?
Human: Naw, just caffeine. I'm adicted to it.
Alien: Your addicted to a chemical that you do not really require...
Human: It's technically a poison. It gives bugs so much energy they just die.
Alien: You are addicted to poison.... Your species alarms me....
"The shield and the spear" gave me fucking chills.
Damn that story hit me hard
*Secure, Contain Protect* ,
time for an interstellar foundation!
We human are children we grow with time and learn but we must be shown the right path. we may not fallow it but we will know it is there.
"And I remember the taste of the chocolate bar he gave me.... and the evil grin on his face as he silently savoured the fact that my species is unable to metabolise theobromine."
That subnautica reference though had me laughing like crazy cause I was just playing it
Oof, now I'm inspired too write a book about Nerva;.
THIS IS GETTING ON MY NERVAS!
Well then is the animated series still happening that’s pretty cool
5:00 The power of the pizza delivery man
Just waiting for Project ORC to end with humans escaping containment, wiping the floor with the Merka, and accidentally saving the galaxy. Possibly starting a war with a star in the process. No, not a solar system, just an actual star.
Heh.
Colonize everything and somehow still be a bunch of scrappy losers
This is oddly inspirational and I love it
Hm “secure contain protect” sounds familiar
We are an scp.
We are the real 001.
@@physics_hacker no no we are not sadly, we kill everything no matter what, not if it is 1 k away, unlike SCP 001
@@metallicserpant1480 that isnt the actual 001, thats one of the insane numbers of proposals
@@Resetium wooosh
Wait until the aliens realize we’re the nerds of our animal kingdom
Imagine being the most intelligent, brave, resourceful, and determined human, just to end up a pizza delivery guy
well then they will be a damn good delivery guy.
This is amazing. I love your videos.
imagine them knowing transformers
nerva: hey i know optimus prime. he was jerk and yet pretty good party animal
human: wait. they exist?
Alien:yeah
Your species created SOO much fiction,it eventually was going to get something rigth
"I will choose to Secure, Contain, and Protect humanity"
The alien SCP-Foundation is intrigued of our SCP-Foundation
Humans in one sentence:
"Civilization litterally too angry to die"
Your videos are always so enjoyable.
The Dominos thing nearly made myself piss from laughing too hard.
Human: *Starts to eat tidepod*
Alien: Human what are you eating?
Human: It's a tide pod..
Alien: Is it some sort of candy or nuourishment?
Human: No.... It's a package of laundry soap in plastic...
Alien: YOU ARE EATING SOAP INSIDE OF PLASTIC!?!?!?!
Human: It's a challenge and I've been challenged
Alien: So just because other humans tell you to do something stupid that will kill you you do it?
Human: Well now that you put it that wa-
Alien: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU DUMBASS
Lol, no one messes with the pizza delivery guy.
2:24
So began the sega of the extreterrastrial SCP foundation.
"Secure, contain, and protect the Earth"...Brother, I think there's a certain human Foundation which would like to have a word with you...
I love the "His name is Ted, not Cthulu!"
Nerva is probably terrified of what would happen if the humans stopped fighting between themselves and fight other species instead
Heck yeah I want to see what the alien baby bois look like you go girl I hope you get money to do so
If you want to know what a chainsaw is for, ask a lumberjack or a carpenter. The murder thing is not an appropriate use of the device, unless you count chopping down trees as murder.
"secure, contain and protect"
bruh I choked on my takis
Nerva learns of chess:
Nerva: Human, what is this chess thing I keep hearing about?
Human: so basically its a game of social hierarchy fighting against another hierarchy to see who can threaten the other's king to surrender first.
Nerva: are all your games made of murder?
Human: Minecraft? no. ring around the roses? no. Super Mario? no.
Nerva:...
Human: the more i think about it the worse it is.
Nerva: the more i think of it, you humans are seeming more and more lost as a species.
Pineapple
So true
Pen
pineapple
I still really love this! Thank you!
Never underestimate the power of a pizza guy from dominos
I remember a joke I saw in another comment a long time ago "if you order pizza you're an npc since you've given a hero a fetch quest"
Yay I missed this☺
I want to see a story about nerva discovering warhammer 40k and reading the lore
I still want this and will wait for it lol
20:17 ngl the subnautica reference made me laugh harder than most of these interactions lmao