After Abandoning Me For 16 Years, They Want Me To Reconcile Because They Are Having A Baby. I Tol...
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- AITAH For telling my parents they were horrible and saying they shouldn't have more kids? (u/Savings-Carpenter249 on r/AITAH)
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Knew a guy who had this family dynamic only he was 6'8" and a boxer. When his absent parents wanted him to pay off thier lease for them because "they deserved whatever benefit he owned as his parents". His father came out with a shattered arm, his mother had a concussion, and my friend was in jail .... for a few hours. He got out since he was 17 at the time, and it was ruled self defense since his parents were technically trespassing.
Damn
Lol. For once, the justice system works. 😂
Your friends a badass and has my utmost respect and admiration
@@RepellentJeff For once
He was lucky they approached him while he was still underage. As it was, the prosecutor could have chosen to charge him as an adult.
Mom and dad didn’t want a bigger family. They wanted a babysitter.
Edit: Well, it looks like only the mom is the problem here.
Not really. She's absolutely the largest, worst, and most deliberate problem, but the father was out partying and going on vacations while hardly talking to OP and only stopping by once a year. That is absolutely, 100% neglect, and frankly, OP was waaaaay more forgiving than the guy deserved. Like, he could have (instead of just irresponsibly taking the mother's word for it) ACTUALLY asked OP how their life was and how their mother was treating them. Instead, because he couldn't be bothered to learn a potentially inconvenient truth, he just let OP continue being emotionally abused by the mother.
And, they do absolutely just want a babysitter.
@@smol_angr_void7224Firstly,he didn't know that his kid was being abused
Secondly, he was at least working to support op so it's not complete abandonment like the mother did emotionally and physically having such a little impact in there life
@@zajinramirez2780 He didn't know his kid was being abused because he was never around to see it. OP's distant relatives saw him more times per year than his "dad" saw him in his entire life. Only to show up when OP is basically an adult and expected to just have OP move in with an abuser and a total stranger and pretend like they're family?
@@ann1halat3dEven with that, compared to the Mother, he is not that bad
Only ausent, doesnt mean he is a angel objectively, but compared with the Mother, a God damn hero
Having a kid at 16 is hard. That’s a lot. But then they are 20, 24, 28 and eventually 32 and never picked up their responsibilities. There’s no excuse. And 100% they were looking for free live in babysitting.
It is possible the parents were legitimately remorseful and wanted to atone. The mom just got angry when she realized that saying sorry doesn’t heal the years of neglect.
@4plus20isHappy nah, Dad was definitely remorseful and trying to atone. Mom just wants to play like she's such a good mother and got mad when that OP won't cater to her fantasy. She likely doesn't even want a child, she wants a baby, a doll. A doll she can play mother and wife for the only guy that probably actually wants to believe her lies
I wonder if they were forced to go though with the pregnancy and that is why the mom resented OP. It happens too often.
I can see that the father was actually the only genuine parent (not counting the grandparents). The mother is definitely a selfish, self-centred, immature brat.
It seems like his mistakes were being to trusting, and not coming around enough. Hopefully he can be there for the op even if not as a father but as someone who cares. People make mistakes and Hopefully he'll grow.
As mu Gran would say"An excuse like that is the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie.
OP’s dad did the bare minimum. Compared to OP’s mom, he’s a goddamn hero.
𝚂𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍
I mean he did do quite a bit honestly, law school, CS payments, a college fund.
I mean he wasnt there physically, but he did provide financially.
Not a dead beat exactly, I would expect law school to take up quite a bit of time, then being a new lawyer, you do work crazy hours depending on the firm you get in at for a couple years.
So say 8-10 years? Total between law school, and adjusting to new life, getting settled?
Though after that… you’d think he would have a more set schedule, and able to at least try to visit more?
Though he was also fed lies by the mother thinking things were great… it does seem like he tried, and was somewhat successful, better dad than some, sounds like he does care.
How did OP's dad ever fall in love with that monster of a mother. Twice.
Narcissistic people are very good at hiding their true self until they reeled you in. She was lying and extremely manipulative. The father thought she was a hands on mom now and would be ready to have a child again.
Mother was a liar and a manipulator. People with good hearts often fail to see through people like the mother.
Its the sex..... basically
A little bit of both honestly
Dat 😻 must be 🔥
I buy that the father was young and dumb, but could have tried harder. The mother however clearly just didn't care and seemed to want the 'bigger family' for appearances sake. OP was right not to move with her.
Might be an unpopular opinion, but the mom is significantly worse than the dad. Mom completely abandoned op and never bothered to even try to get in or remain in contact with her kid until she needed him for something. The dad at least put some effort in, yeah it wasn’t much but at least he did SOMETHING.
Don’t worry it’s CZcams not twitter it won’t a unpopular opinion as everyone knows the mothers is worse
Dude everyone here seems to be agreeing dad at least tried but mom *yeeeeeike*
Dad was incredibly passive in his kid's life but at least recognized his mistakes and promised to do better, while Mom was actively malicious and lied about it, then tried to play the victim.
They usually are lol
"Mother was scared of adoption, because she heard horror stories about dead babies, and mother being killers, so she wanted to give me up for adoption"
DAMN! 👀
I wonder if that was just worded wrongly, because it comes over as “mom’s afraid adopted kids will get k*lled, so she wanted to put me up for adoption”….
People who view their children as a burden rather than a blessing are, without a doubt, the one kind of person I detest the most on the entire planet. No matter what, I will always despise the shitty parent above all others, whether it be an authoritarian dictator or a radical terrorist. Parental figures such as these are responsible for shaping the next generation of potentially immoral behavior.
They will have you babysitting constantly. Dont move back in. Don’t babysit either.
Just say NO.
Your teenage years are supposed to be fun. Go have fun. Dont waste your time with your parents at this age. Maybe later when you are 40.
You should forgive your parents, but you don’t have to trust them.
Good for Grandma. She had your back.
I have no patience for absentee parents. They do such immeasurable harm to their kids. The emotional trauma is REAL. It never goes away. It doesn’t even fade over time. Why is it SO hard to use protection and not get pregnant if you aren’t ready? I’ll never forget how my first romantic partner wasn’t wanting to use protection and didn’t have anything on him when we were about to have intimacy the first time when I was an older teen girl. I ransacked the house looking for a condom because I wasn’t about to do that 😂. It took awhile but I found one. I made sure that never happened again. I got some from the clinic and put them in my drawer. And as a mother to a son later in life, we had very open frank conversations about sex and birth control and the broken down costs of raising a baby right down to the cost of diapers and other necessities. We provided the condoms and back up spermicide film while he lived at home because he had a pretty girlfriend and I’m not dumb. I wasn’t going to kid myself that they wouldn’t do it. And because of how open our conversations around this subject was, when they had an accident and the condom broke and she was losing her mind in a panic because she had those oh so foolish parents who swore up and down that their baby wouldn’t have sex until she was an adult out of their house. So she didn’t NEED birth control pills-my son knew he could call me and ask me for help. I was able to advise them on how to handle the situation while his girlfriend cried in the background from fear of her parents. A “rinse out” if you know what I mean, and then another spermicidal film in place immediately. It’s unlikely that anything would have happened, but what if it did? What if he couldn’t call me and ask for help on what to do? She certainly couldn’t call her mother. I’m so glad that I took that stance as a parent with both my son AND my daughter. My daughter decided on her own to wait until she graduated high school before doing anything, but as soon as she thought about it she asked me for help with birth control so she didn’t blow her chances at going to college. She has an implant in her arm, so she’s covered. Luckily she has a good head on her shoulders and a full ride scholarship, and her very smart boyfriend was offered a full time position teaching at his university before he even started his doctorate degree. They’ll do well in life if they stay as smart in decision making as they are now. No babies until they are ready for it.
💯! And it's not just about getting pregnant! My Aunt stole her daughter's condoms she got from school so she wouldn't have sex. When she found birth control packs she got from a local clinic, she grounded her for the month. She also took her out of sex ed classes citing religion and had her keep a strict curfew.
The moment she turned 18 she ran to college states away and went completely WILD. She didn't have any safety talk of what to expect, what to watch out for, nor education on her own body or experiences she could draw from. She was smart enough to use an implant birth control but she was drunk at a couple parties and a few of those guys took advantage of her. One filmed her and spread it around school. At the time it was the worst experience of her life but a visit to her doctor proved her wrong.
She was HIV positive. Nineteen and HIV positive.
She has to live with that everyday for the rest of her life and I believe it never would of happened if her mother was more like you. Open and honest. Non judgemental. Instead her mother screeched at her that was her punishment for being a w#ore. 😢
@@wendylee9255I refuse to believe parents can be that dumb. Wtf. And then blaming the girl, when it was entirely the parents fault for not talking about sex Ed with her and even taking her out of that class. It’s insane
@@alexsyn2531 It's RELIGION girl. All the crazy mess you see on tv and hear in the news of the nutjobs? That's my family. Well my other side. I was raised kinda the same way, my Mom took me out of sex ed classes but a few days later put me back in when my Aunt, her sister, yelled at her.
My Aunt was pregnant at 15. But in those days there was no sex ed. She wished there was so she wouldn't have believed you have to have your period for at least 3 years before getting pregnant.
That's why I really feel for these kids who are truly ignorant and don't know any better because their own parents refused to educate them.
@@alexsyn2531
Well I’d say its the guys here who were real scumbags.
I’d horrified not one guy tried to help her, or say hey… this is wrong.
I do hope the men are in prison, but I doubt it.
Not saying the mother was a saint, but damn… stories like that are horrible to hear.
I would say, the father I think did at least put in effort, maybe not the best physically, but I mean… law school would be hell, and then a fresh lawyer at a firm would be hard depending on the firm.
Though once he started making good money, paid CS, and college fund, and tried to connect a bit.
Once a year is too little for sure, I mean at the bare minimum you have three days a year to make an effort on, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and their Bday.
There was one more update. The baby was born, Mom refused to have anything to do with her. Dad actually saw Mom hit the baby, and in the fight, she said that she wished her children were dead so she could be happy again. He got her institutionalized, grandparents want nothing more to do with her, and OP is staying with Dad full time
0:27 I dated a girl who grew up with her grandma as her mother and thinking her mother was her sister. I won't say anything more, but this happens in real life and not just in the movies.
Yes for sure! Happens sadly a lot
Movies are inspired from real life
@@SecretVoices25 genius response 🙌👏👏
Even Thanos was a better parent than Op's mom lol
😂😂😂
Least he cried when he had to kill Gamora
OPs mom sounds like a child
No. She just sounds like a woman. Come to think of it, those two really aren’t that different.
The fact that this man never once resented OP and was even willing to give up going to college just to raise him as a single father in addition to trying to genuinely rebuild their relationship with no ulterior motive just goes to show you how out of OP’s birth parents, he’s the only one deserving of a title of father
This really tears me up. My parents weren’t perfect but they love me and my siblings and nobody was more important than the others.
This child looks like love. What a shame what the mother did
OP: If she does something crazy i'll update.
*1 second later*
OP: Update 2
Gave me a good chuckle hahaha
😅😅
Stories like this is why not everyone should be parents and why we should have some kind of protocol on who can have kids and who can't. Like some sort of psyche evaluation.
My heart breaks for OP! The hurt and pain (and sense of rejection) he's felt from his parents is just too heavy to bear. 💔 He sounds like such a level headed, wonderful young one. May God heal every part of his shattered heart and bind up every one of his wounds.
The dad is ok atleast he tried even tho he himself was young back then, the mom’s just a sad b
Agreed. And the dad was under the pretense too that the mom was being a parent while he was away. Still doesn’t excuse him not being around as much, but I bet he’d of made more effort if he really knew how she was really treating their son.
@@andersondawn3631He was making an effort in a different way.
He was trying to get an education to get a good job to support the OP’s future needs such as college.
As you noted he was under the assumption that the mother was being a good parent. If he had known he’d probably of abandoned college to parent the OP alone.
Dad: “Please be very involved in your little sibling. (So we don’t have to! Free babysitter!)”
They don’t care they want a free babysitter
18:27 where the FUCK did “egg doner” come from?!… oh, he refuses to call the monster a mother.
She definitely doesn't deserve to be called a mother
OP biological parents may have got back together as a old feelings coming to the surface. However OPs father seems to want to be back in his life. OPs biological mother is a piece of work she sees her son as with the reasoning of being a weight she didn't need and a tool to get back together with his father besides the child growing in her. They need to be more careful around her as she seems to be disconnected from reality and may see this as a opportunity to get the family she didn't have when younger. That's a very dangerous mind set. Good luck
I literally have tears. This resonated with me so much. Just listened to it brought back so many memories and emotions. Especially seeing as my grandparents are all gone now. I mean I am about to be 50. Didn’t realize how much pain I still carry. Even if my parents are in my life. Dad borrowed money to have me “removed”. His father literally had my parents have a “shot gun weeding” in all sense of the word. (Btw my mom was 15 when she got pregnant and married had me a month after turning 16.) like she went horseback riding so she’d go into labor early so I didn’t ruin her Christmas. Funny enough my dad had already left her while she was sleeping one night. They divorced he gave up all rights. Paid no child support. He actually had paperwork drawn up that if she wanted to put me up for adoption she could. ( this one hurt. I found out in middle school) get this his gf was the notary. She’s now my step mom. Both parents went on to have other kids. I’m the oldest out of 7. My youngest sister is 2 weeks younger than my youngest daughter. Neither one was ever a great parent to me. I was always an after thought and felt like a burden. But my grandparents, many they loved me with every ounce of their being. With how much my parents sucked and how wonderful my grandparents were. It taught me how to be a good parent. I never wanted my kids to ever feel like I did. I have spent my whole life being the mom I wish mine was. So my kids wouldn’t ever have pieces missing and feel loved and safe. And I hope I can be just as great of a Omi (Grandma) as mine was. But she walked on water to me so all I can to is try. Man I miss them.
This one made me tear up, thankfully I have an amazing mom but my relationship with my dad is alot like op’s relationship with his dad.
While you don't know at 16 what to do you do know when you are mean and cruel, that is no excuse.
"i was only 16 when i had you, it was so much responsibility for someone so young, i couldn't take care of you"
These are not excuses. They are simply explanations.
Seriously, what game is that? Looks like an awesome puzzle game!
Superluminal, yeah it is an awesome game
Pretty sure actually good people do not come out of hard times as monsters.
what does op mean guys?
Original poster/post
Stay away, or be the free servant/babysitter. 🌸
I think this story gave me Vietnam flashbacks or brought up some sort of past trauma that triggered me because all through the story I felt unbridled rage and I am unsure at who.
Oh god not the “Muh postpartum depression” cope lol
The dad did try so I would not be angry at him if I were you🤷
what game are you playing in this video
It's called Superliminal
Thanks @xXTheVigilantXx
Whats the name of the game in the background???
they were not ready.....abortion could have prevented this video entirely
Same with adoption. But I guess that's too much of a hassle for the egg-donor.
Most Reddit drama can be prevented with murder, true.
The mother was obviously worse but it doesnt make the father any less terrible for abandoning their kid and thinking he can just come back like nothing happened.
I mean he apparently was paying CS, and creating a college fund, working on getting a good job to hopefully support OP as a lawyer.
The only issue I think is, the mother kept lying to him about being a good mother, while he was working to try to provide.
Whats the game?
Superliminal
This is completely off topic, but why is the background footage so trippy
I gotta know the game in the video
What is this game?
13:00 sundays are for the beans
Does anyone know the game in the background? Lol
@secretvoices25 has the whole video on their channel
What game is this you are playing?
Superliminal
@@SecretVoices25 Thank you!
❤️❤️
What is this game?