Why Don't Indian Families Give Women Privacy?
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- čas přidán 13. 08. 2021
- This week, The Swaddle team explores why women are kept under constant surveillance.
Edited by: Neha Shekhawat
Presented by: Anahita Sachdev
Visual research: Samiksha Mathur
Additional scripting: Adreeta Chakraborty
Produced by: Shrishti Malhotra
Creative Supervisor: Karla Bookman
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Struggle of being an introverted woman in India.. Wanting alone-time is perceived as the height of selfishness.
So true
Soo true, I can relate 🙂
So relatable 😭
Exactly! It's insane.
It's insane how much I relate to this. My mother used to literally call me" selfish " for sitting alone in the farthest room possible from them. Who's going to say to them that they literally ruined my mental peace when they locked me up in solitary confinement for two straight weeks when they found out about my boyfriend. Like? They took the phrase " break them till you make them" too seriously. They don't realize they've been mentally abusing me for three years! I was just a kid back then . Just 18! It left such a huge mark on me and it has stayed ever since. Finally my parents have made peace with my needing to be alone. Finally.
Good topic. Phones of women are often checked by families on time to time. But they never check mental health of women. How women are harassed time to time.
Cause their concern is "ghar ki izzat"
@@Moitreyee473 😊😊🤝🤝
Best comment I saw on this post.
@@apoorvajoshi9279 oh really😲😲🤝🤝. Thanks. But this is not just a comment, it's emotions on behalf of many.
u make an excellent point.
my brother was once asked by my mother "why you need to lock the phone if you have nothing to hide,locking the phone itself means that you are doing something wrong?" then my brother replied, why do we lock the loo? why don't we shit open doors, because literally there is nothing to hide. We all know what do we do there? but we do lock the door! that's privacy everyone needs.
There's some part of us that no one should see, and it doesn't mean we are doing something wrong.
I will practice this 😂, mom be ready for this!!
@@user-yd1nk1qy8g 😂😂
This comment needs to be pinned
@pepper All the Best! :)
That is a good comeback answer! Please thank your brother on my behalf and thank you for sharing this, i'll use this against my nagging grandma
We often always link women as either mothers, daughters, Sisters or wives. Nothing wrong with that but we treat our own women as a property of men which strips off her own agency
I don't think linking women as either mothers, daughters, sisters or wives is fine, we are an individual human being. We never associate men with such tags. Just viewing everyone as individuals will solve much of the troubles.
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис treating someone as an ATM is not justified under any condition. But I have never seen anyone being recognised or being called as father, son, brother or husband. Not to deny that we have stereotypes for women being izzat and men will be men arguments all around us.
These all are the stereotypes of the Society which we still live in. More or less you can see that all kinds of rules on how to live your life before marriage and after marriage want to do in life or not to talk to anyone this all is for Ladies and was is never kind of fast or prayer which son make keep for his mother type. When we ask about they go on it is created by God the fasting rules but never say where are males in it.
@アルテミスアポロヘラセイド plus most of the time, women are not "allowed" to work by their in-law's and husband's because women have to give their in-law's a grandchild, cook for their husband and family, be present to take care of their husbands because whatever men do they are "mann ke kacche, bacche" how else would the woman get money if she's not allowed to work? It's a different story if the woman chooses to stay home and spends her husband's money carelessly. Ah and the best one yet "if a man cheats it's the wife's fault because the wife didn't fulfill his needs so he had to look for it elsewhere." DISGUSTING!
Yes true. it's good to be mother sister wife but above all she's herself too. Women is just women. Just be yourself.
When will most parents understand that you can have a completely platonic relationship with a guy? Texting or talking to a guy doesn't mean you have to be romantically involved with him 🤦🏻♀️
i swear the minute my parents see me chatting with a boy they assume he's my boyfriend or something and create a huge hungama in the house 🙄
@@farin5506 lmaoo can relate. They go by the logic that "ek ladka aur ladki kabhi sirf dost nahi ho skte "😂
@@sudeepbhurat 😭bro ikr even my male friend tokd me he had a ruckus in his house when they saw him chatting with me and just for them to find out we were talking about the maths work
Even if it's romantic I don't get how people can literally snatch their kid's phone away . My father read all my messages to my boyfriend when they found out about us. What's the need to take someone's privacy away?
I think parents are worried because there is no guarantee of a guy in this country. He can manipulate you & your feelings by asking nudes (which many teenager fall for & get used against them!). There are real life cases of gullible women falling for wrong Sadak-chap romeo. Who are only interested in using you!
Now when I think , I feel that most of the mothers don't even know that they can have privacy!
Exactly! It’s like they’re conditioned to think they’re selfish if they’re not with or thinking about their family 24/7
My mother comes into my room when Im changing clothes, She even starts to bang the door if it is closed when Im changing.
Her Excuse?
*"I gave birth to you"*
@@normalguy11.11 exactly! I don’t care if you gave birth to me, respect my privacy
My mom is literally the same to me she don't give me privacy now i am paying back to her like not giving her privacy too she was like give me some privacy too don't i deserve that i would say what about me too did u do the same? No now face the consequences
Yep
This topic hits home. :( My parents can't even keep their hands off my personal diary. I really have no one to share my actual thoughts and feelings with, and now that they think they have a right to read my diary( "jo chhupana pare wo kaam galat hee to hoga") it is even more difficult for me. Even more so because I am an introvert.
Girl. Same . They read my diary without telling me and don't talk about it until the most crucial moment. They use it against me.
What? I didn't knew such things happen
@@pranavivemana8354 ofcourse! Indian parents use everything against us, 'for us' apparently. And when we present actual facts and logic in the argument they just say how we are being disrespectful by talking back. Like what?! Do they expect us to blindly follow them like robots and have no voice of our own, even when they are being illogical and dismissing our wishes? If yes, then better adopt robots than making children.
@@mimis.5139 they do, sadly 🙂
Just write about them in your diary that how they are behaving and how they don't trust their own daughter, how you feel about their behaviour and let them read lol
Let's all hope that the next decade sees women gaining more independence and control of their own lives. Happy Independence Day!
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис Yes being a woman and a feminist I agree with you. I hope more and more Indian women get the opportunity to join the workforce safely and get paid equally as their male counterparts in the coming decade.
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис
Kahan se ye data nikala? May I ask? Who told you that female labourers are paid as per the number of bricks they are carrying?
Don't say anything, just to say something.
Women will be quite happy if they are paid according to the number of bricks, they are carrying. But that's not what's happening in different fields and workplaces.
And don't reply back unless you clear your mind and heart of hatred and see the reality objectively with an unbiased attitude.
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис
And no one is sitting lazily for your kind information. Women are labouring day and night, outside of their houses as *cheap labour* and inside of their houses as *free labour* .
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис What do you mean by sitting lazily? My mother works 24×7 without any rest. And most of the unemployed women do housework
Arre yeh troll h, isko ghaas mat do 😂 Yeh bht saare comments p ja k bakwaas kr rha h. Isko khud v pata h yeh bakwaas kr rha h! Independence Day h bhai. Independently bakwaas krne do isko 😂
Fact is that the Indian society doesn’t understand the meaning of privacy altogether, therefore forget about women’s privacy requirement. To most in this country, privacy is akin to secrecy, which again according to our primitive mindset, is grossly immoral. People find immense pleasure in announcing that their lives are open books, all the while brushing dirty, uncomfortable family secrets under the carpet. Take a survey to see if people value their privacy, and the prevalent answer will be if I do not have anything to hide, why do I need privacy. Our patriarchal upbringing hinders our understanding of privacy as a basic human right. And this is why we don’t bat an eyelid (and rather celebrate) when our government unabashedly brings in voyeuristic laws in the name of national security.
Absolutely correct
So true 👍
Completely agree with you
true that
Yeah so trueee
And then there are cases where teenage girls who have been strictly monitored and kept under control are the ones who get "secret" boyfriends first or have higher chances of "eloping" later in life compared to girls who have been given considerably more freedom...
Very true
Cause they were so much restricted that at a point of time it made them go desperate enough to explore stuffs and that's when they take a wrong step especially when they are teens. Parents should teach their kids about good and bad and let them experience life while being cautious about dangers.
True
So true
@@Moitreyee473 exactly.. and experience is the best teacher!!
My mother thinks that getting privacy or "me time" for herself makes her a "bad mother". I want her to do things she wants to do and doesn't have to do. She says that she derives happiness through our (her children's) lives. This feels unhealthy to me but I have no idea on what to do about it.
You need to talk to her. Many mothers don't understand that this vicarious living of 'finding happiness is someone else' is not healthy. There will eventually come a time when you will have to draw a line on how much she'll know or have influence on your life. If she is not prepared for it, it's going to get ugly. A lot of family problems arise from mothers centering their whole life on their children. You should sit her down and tell her that your life is for you to be happy and not for your mother to be happy. It might sound harsh, but help her find things to do that will make her happy. Let her find new or rediscover old hobbies. I have gone through that journey with my mother, and believe me, seeing your mother finding herself is going to be totally rewarding for you as well. My mother went from being irritated to look at smartphone screens to being reconnected to their college group, spending time for herself everyday to write something and share it with friends and family. Organizing ways to help their batch mates...she is doing lots of her own things and I don't even know everything. Now I am relieved that evenif I move out, she won't be lonely or bored or completely emotionally dependent on my dad.
Talk to your mom, help her find her own happiness
Shut her out whenever you need to.
Mine too...she feels guilty even if she just goes out for coffee alone and insists on taking me or my sister!
My mother went to the mall without us one day. And after getting home she told me that she missed me and my brother and that being alone made her feel lonely. Conclusion she doesn't like shopping alone she needs either her daughter(me), her husband, her mother or her best friend with her while shopping. I took over household chores from my brother who is preparing for jee advance ( and for all the feminists- he did it while i was preparing for neet) so she has more time to herself yet after a certain amount of time she will want to talk to me or my brother about our studies or anything.
Before her marriage she like to play around with her brothers or cousins.
This proces that she is a human i.e. a social creature who needs some sort of human companionship to feel entertained. Just today me and her had a blast shopping. So shockingly very weirdly yoi an actually enjoy being around your family😱. So shocking right?
And guess what is more shocking my father who has to live away from us due to work he misses being around us? 😱
I mean he is a man he should not feel bad for not being around his family and enjoy his private time.
Heck even i feel homesick at hostel. Being around family is not toxic.
My mother has a career and she is a health freak, she like to stay active she does yoga or takes an hour long walk witjout waking us up. She likes her alone time but she loves is too, because she birthed us. Get it through your thick skulls.
@@Exo-lCaratDeobiDiveFearnotMyi dont think thats what the comment was talking about, some mothers have nothing for themselves aside from their family. I know mothers who dedicate their whole lives to their family and dont pursue any aspirations of their own simply because she doesnt want to be a "bad mom". Her own family or in laws shitting on her for wanting to take some time for herself and labelling her as "selfish" you literally just said that your mom does take time for herself and is able to pursue other aspirations in life outside of her family, so your mom doesnt really fit this description. Wanting to spend time with family is not the same as being told that you should not pursue anything that doesnt directly benefit the family. Maybe im wrong but thats what i assume the comment was refering to.
I'm so lucky that my parents respect my privacy!
Even though there's nothing bad in it,my mom is always like,"I have no interest in reading your friend's chats!" 😂
Lucky!
Same
Sharanya, u r soo lucky in this case ....🥺
Ps- btw, r u also a feminist ???
@@findingmyself2446 Arre Aashi ji aap yaha?
BTW yes,I am. an absolute femisit
@@s.s5729 not always , but ya sometimes they do check . :( .....
Ps- same pinch da..I am a feminist too
Because the Indian society sees women as property that they all have a right over.
Also why many deny marital rape is a thing cause for them a husband owns his wife and can do anything without the consent of the woman.
Bruh the guy with a Japanese name is a whole different breed down there.Go at your own risk😂
Yes , recently there was a case where a husband forcibly did sex with her wife , and strange thing was the court doesn't consider that as marital rape .
The court said there's nothing like marital rape ( but people didn't understand that rape is rape , whether it's before or after the marriage.
And rape doesn't always indicates : female a victim and male a rapist , truth is rapist and survivor doesn't have any gender.
So true there is case where court stated that we cannot punish the husband because he was doing a marital rape but we can grant a divorce to a woman and all people are like hurray
Exactly 👍
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис lol , what are you saying that one can complain against marital rape and that criminal will be in jail ?
Are prabhu jab marital rape ko rape he nahi maan raha court to kya khaak jail hogi criminal ko .
Mtlb bina soche samjhe bina kisi ka comment achche se padhk k notanki karoge haina , job he jo hai tumhara .
bhaisahab to zara mera comment padho or dekho laws bane marital rapes k liye , or ladka ladki dono is cheez k victim hai .
I know ki aap ese he comment karte hai , lekin zara dhyaan se padhiye mere comment ko ki jo aap bol rahe hai wahi mene apne way me likha hai .
Prabhu g 🙏padho zara.
Read my whole comment and specially last line .
right vro
Though I never felt that but yes I have heard from many people how their parents snatch their phones, don't let them go outside, after knowing that they were talking to a guy.
बहन ज्योति काश सभी लड़कियों के परिवार वाले आपके माता-पिता की तरह उच्च विचार और समानता के अधिकार वाली सोच के होते तो सभी लड़कियां व महिलाएं खुश होती
@@Ayisha4889 umm I never heard any of the guy I met to have such kind of parents but yeah I would never deny the fact that none of the parents would be thinking like that even if they have a son.
@@dushyantkumar8009 I can agree with that. I think it's parents who have to understand that they can protect their children even after giving them the freedom they want. I think most of our generation would take care of this thing when they will be parents💯
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 आज की पीढ़ी को ही बदलाव लाना पड़ेगा वरना यह पितृसत्तात्मक समाज कभी भी नहीं बदलेगा। बहन ज्योति आपसे सहमत हूं
@@dushyantkumar8009 I agree coz hum parents se expect ni kar skte ki vo is baat ko khud hi samajh sake, it's our generation who should try to understand our parents and help them understanding our problems too. Also, my name is Bhavy not Jyoti so it would be better if u call me with my name 😅
I used a maintain a personal diary during my teenage days... but my elder sister once saw it- flipped through it's pages- got to know about my boyfriend and handed over the diary to my parents by calling me a 'characterless' person (I was 13 then and that was my first ever relationship which my sister ruined with a lot of enthusiasm) !!! And I guess we'll can well relate to what happened next ...
10 years down the line I share a fairly fine bond with my sister but I still have that incident etched in my mind !
What’s wrong with childish endeavours ?? I think dating at 13 is playful and fun, it’s harmless. You weren’t characterless, you were a kid. You did nothing wrong bud, you’re not characterless.
@@Ayisha4889 ya
@@hooman333 love doesn't have age limit bruh! Everyone falls in love be it a 13, yr old or 90, yr old. It's nothing to laugh
@@Ayisha4889 bro why are you even watching this video get out
@@hooman333 you're no one to actually dictate here
Privacy is a myth in indian society. Parents think that untill and unless there children and they are under same roof children have to share everything with there parents also there cell phone. Even sometimes children don't even have privacy to *cry* alone. Parents should let there children have some privacy cause sometime time heals problem rather then talking and thinking about it much. Privacy is everyone's need irrispective to age.
I don't generally understand what's the big deal about privacy at home but keeping that aside crying alone is not a good idea😀😀
@@riteshvashisht4605 sometimes crying alone is a good idea when you are surrounded by people who will judge and make fun of you even if you cry.
I feel the same. Sometimes it gets on my nerves when u can't even cry alone.I've been through this a lot of times.
@@Moitreyee473 yes😕😔
You are right.,,,also sometimes parents sometimes says that we have seen already everything what u guys are seeing now.,and if u r not doing anything wrong,then u will share ur prbs with us....and when we literally do that,they exaggerate or just ignore that....that's why we demand privacy atleast to deal our emotional health in our own way
My parents don't receive calls in my phone forget about checking.... They do not care with whom I am chatting or talking... Coz they know their daughter doesn't take shit from others... And in my home it's a rule if someone doesn't tell u about his / her gf or bf do not guess/ ask... I proud of my parents...
May you get a beta husband .
Let's give all genders true independence!
Hey anahita can you explain why the channel is named 'swaddle'?
@@swatisaini6447 😂 Swati's concern is legit. She gets dreams about swaddle at night 👀😂
@@Moitreyee473 what?😂
@@swatisaini6447 what do you think?
@@Slay963 swaddle creates a safe atmosphere for the baby so I think the channel aims to create a safe environment for females...
I have been depressed almost all my life because of people always monitoring me in the name of protection.
My mom used to (she used to do it but not now) criticize the shape of my breast and belly and never allowed me to wear any modern dress (like tshirts and jeans) without wearing a shawl or overcoat above it..because of this i started feeling ashamed of my own body
My dad always sends my brother with me whenever i want to go out, they dont understand that i am kind of introverted and want some me-time away from family..because of this i stopped going out altogether
My boyfriend always reads my messages and asks me not to speak with boys who try to flirt with me, and if i speak with them, he fights with me..i understand that its for my own good, but i should be the one to decide whom i speak with and whom i dont right?
I hate the fact that other people are deciding what i should wear, with whom i should speak, at what time where i should go.. my heart is broken and im crying while writing this
💔
Dear god, give me one day, just one day, to live my own freaking life the way i want, and not the way the above mentioned people want.
Remember only you can be your saviour . And your boyfriend can't read your messages and invade your privacy until you want him to becauseof his insecurities. Like girl I think you really need to stand up for yourself .
Shreya Bhattacharyya thank you, and yes, i will stand up for myself once im financially stable and independent of my parents, no one can stop me then.. as for my bf, he cant read my messages anymore
@@poojashivaani3628 that's great news keep going and I must say you're very intelligent all the best
This is the exact reason asking for privacy , deciding what to wear and other 'rebellious' stuff should be started from a young age like when you are 12-13 . Stop it the first time it happens.
@@poojashivaani3628 GREAT !!
Do they give anyone privacy? Privacy just isn't respected in India.
All of this channel related to all south Asian women including us Nepal 🇳🇵
South Asia-Divided by many things united by bigotry😂
@@lalitthapa101 😂😂
Wish you all a happy life with basic human rights !
@@lalitthapa101 lol😂
Divided by national borders, united by patriarchy
Now that i think about it, my papa has never asked me to show him what's on my phone. Only my phone in the whole house is password protected. My room door is also always closed. I think that i am the one person in this house with most privacy. Although this cannot be expected of all households. Even when my mama mami come, they spend time in the living room only and rarely disturb my privacy. Now that you have made such a video that i realize how much i have in this aspect and other people lack.
@@Ayisha4889 not every male is misogynistic like you mate.
it's mostly the same for me tho I am expected to interact with relatives my mom didn't scold me for shooing away my uncle and grandpa when they were trying to snoop so it that counts for something.
@@Ayisha4889 Just think...what will be his reaction after knowing that Aarti is a male🤣
same for me
@@Ayisha4889 jis din tumari family ko pata chalega ki tum CZcams pe ladki ke naam ka account rakar , swaddle ke post par kaise kaise comments karte ho toh kya hoga 👁️👄👁️
Cinema also has a big hand in shaping the ideologies of these people.Popular movies of 90's especially those made by sooraj barjatya set the bar of ideal Sanskari women and orthodox families.
You forgot Ekta kapoor , it seems victim blaming has increased ever since the vamp , ideal bahu and beti and the poor mard husband and characterless ex bf were introduced from the time of Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi .
😌Even in my teenage, my privacy was never hindered 👍🏻
U r lucky to have such parents 😇
I also don't think that it is a boys vs girls dichotomy as this video purports, rather, it is based on how the Parents are.
If Parents are lax with their imposition of rules, then, they respect their child's personal space, however, if they are stern, they would knock at their child's privacy, regardless of his/her gender.
@@at1906_ girls are more strictly controlled than boys. U can't deny that
In my area I can't name a single girl whose privacy has been hindered.
It is mostly a village thing now I guess.
@@swatisaini6447 💯
Yes , woman also need privacy. Happy independence day to everyone ❤️.
Happy Independence day to u 2!!
@Anonymouse why would you fcking say that
@Anonymouse Creep !
@Anonymouse you said "men they don't like" .... Do u read ur comments before posting?!
I don't like Donald Trump....should i go and kill him ? Dude use ur brain!
@Anonymouse Lmao don't change the topic!
U said "KILL WHO EVER U DON'T LIKE" .... We can see who's the piece of shit here
Also, I don't need YOUR ADVICE on which person i should hate...I'm capable enough of deciphering my emotions
Finally someone is talking about it!! Privacy is very important. A person, irrespective of their gender, needs to spend time with themselves, and sometimes be alone with their thought.
We women are property of our father and husband " This is the thought every indian family has
Including my father I literally don't have privacy at all
Finish the degree, get a job in another city and run.
@@nchl5340 Then too there will be constant bickering of the parents to marry!
@@aryakumar9921 Yes, but that would be just 10-15 minutes daily pressure on phone. You can find other ways to retain your sanity. Miles better than the constant pressure when living with parents seeing their tears and chest pains and nagging and fighting.
@@karunakarrao7412 Yes, you have the right as per the law. But you wont get it under the same roof. So why fight cry and lose your sanity and peace? Distance also help us appreciate our family more and see their positives more clearly.
Many people say their relationship with parents improved after moving out.
@@nchl5340 Yes it gets better. But not completely still. That is why this needs to change. What you said is good but short term solution.
I want my kids to grow into sensible individuals , and their privacy matters.
Women stand stand up instead of supporting this. If a mother says something it will be implemented as home as she has more influence. But instead they hate their kids for not suffering what she did. So until women chnage , nothing will
You are right. We are the generation going to initiate this change :)
@@aryakumar9921 yes let's do it...girl power 💕✌️
@@happyplease4093 😌💫⚡🔥we shall bring equality, starting from our homes
@Shreyasi Sharma as a man, i dont care, stand up for womens rights, go fight your mother about this, no men involved anyways
@@jacklove3888 In India, people abort their daughters and even prefer boys, is real?😭
I would like to give a big thank you to the whole team of "the swaddle" ..I'm a school going girl preparing for my medical entrance.. You guys literally gave a new direction to my thought process, decision making powers and priortising my career and financial independence.. Thank you so much to show the side of my own individuality but not just as a sister or daughter.. Thank you so much to show me the real side of the society and to give me the courage to fight against all odds
so that I can bring pride to my parents and grandparents 🙏🙏🙏
My father is very open minded person.He never tries to disturb my privacy because he himself is a victim of this social mindset.But my mother still thinks that giving too much privacy to a girl can spoil her.She often checks in my room.She always says that don't talk to a boy,not even to a girl of different caste.Whenever I see a girl talking to a guy i feel that she is too spoiled by her parents.I tried to change my mindset but everytime get failed because of my strict environment.
This is so so true. The only time we leave mothers alone is on Hallmark holidays
...
Youngsters who are watching, remember that you are upcoming and progressive generation of India. You need to break these ridiculous superstitions in our society so that anyone for that matter may not face these kinds of problem in future. Godspeed
Yes, we will! GenZ and Millennials WILL bring the change. From equal rights to good upbringing, we will change it all. Glad to see that atleast some elder agrees. Thank you 💜
@@thedoctor2351 yup
Sure!
@@thedoctor2351 more like genZ and genAlpha cuz most millenials are in their 30s-40s and has families
Yes
I literally cry for privacy ...
And my parents think for what I should get privacy ...
They don't even let me study alone peacefully !!
In simple words ....they don't belive me ...
I'm 14 right now ....
I actually want my me-time ....
Sometimes it feels to be left alone ....
Whenever I am in my room alone ..they think I'm doing something wrong ...
My parents are too much interfering....once I had problems in making friends ....they were like !!!!..huh...can't explain !
Privacy is relly important for anyone not only girls but everyone!!!!
Perfect video on independence day.
The country got independence 75 years ago but women still didn't.
Hope these upcoming years will bring change in the society.
My brother used to check my phone when I was younger. But now he doesn't. Glad to see changes in my own house.
I hope they also make same kind of video on Pakistani independence day or Eid.
Indians in general dont understand the concept of privacy. It affects everyone.
I'm so grateful for my parents in this regard. They give me privacy and also trust me with my friends, be it boys or girls.
I've seen my close friends telling me how they are constantly monitored. It's too hard in this lockdown. The only time she could be herself was in the school. But the online classes pushed her into 24/7 surveillance of their parents. She actually calls us to speak and text us at the same time if she wants to tell things without her parents knowing. It's hard for me to even imagine my friend in that situation. But for her it's reality.
Same here I even stoped calling my friends becoz of my parents around 24/7
A real life experience which I have to go through everyday. The hurt of not getting privacy cuts deep
What about sexual harassment within homes? How can a women have a safe place in home? Women aren't safe until the ill mindset prevails. Women need privacy, so people should stop bothering them.
My mom told me "Achi ladki road par phone par BAAT nhi krti". I don't blame her. This what she was taught by society. I hope one day I'll help her to realise her importance ❤️
Wtf is the relation between talking on phone and being a "achi ladki"?
Hey I think irrespective of the gender, one shouldn't talk over the phone on the road unless urgent cuz we must be aware of the vehicles moving about, else it could be risky, maybe ur mom meant it in that way..
I swear in this comment section I am knowing ' ajeeb ' restrictions apose on people and stereos in our country , I mean how from talking on phone on the road al, a girl become bad 😧😧
no but it is right too. There was a survey conducted that interviewed convicted rapists, their main focus goes to girls fidgeting in their bags, girls with ponytailts (so that grabbing it is easy) and girls busy talking on their phones because they're not aware of their surroundings as much.
@@thismadhulikano that's what I was gonna say 😂
"They tend to be emotionally dependent in relationships because they have been raised to not value individuality" - Spot on 💯
will we teach and control our boys?
HELL NO
will we control our women and take away their freedom?
HELL YEAH
(this is totally sarcastic, i know many boys have been taught good values and a woman can also be wrong. i respect all genders)
Lol, you will start a war if people don't click "Read more" XD
@@doozyBrook well sarcasms my way
@@jain8944 XD
So true in some families only girls are controlled and boys are just free to do whatever they want to chat with anyone they want
Benstokes, I'm a man ad have been intoxicated with unworthy values and morals to the point that I don't even talk to girls, I'm shy, don't know why
I had this privacy talk with my dad a few months back. DID NOT END WELL!
Come to bengal here girls get whatever they want boys get nothing they want
True in the name of equality there is a imbalance@@jackpotgamer1237
All of my cousin's parents are so modern and open-minded. One day, my cousin sister was going to Australia for studies, and the day before that she had a little re-union of all my cousins and aunts as we wouldn't see her in a while. She invited her guy friends too which were very friendly and everyone was so comfortable with them. Even my cousin's mothers were also talking to them. But my mother and maternal grandmother were whispering to each other like, "This girl is going out of hand", "Now she has male friends too", "What will she do in Australia?". And I was listening to them, like wth can't we have guy friends. One day my same cousin who went to Australia sent me a pic of her wearing a frock, which was not scandalous at all and was very cute. I texted her it's very pretty and you should buy it. But my mom sneakily took my phone and checked my sister's frock, she sent that pic to every of my aunts and said "Look how short clothes she wears". I didn't told it to my cousins as it would start a fight. I am so tired of my parents that sometimes I just wanna end my life thinking that they will do the same to me. There should be a thing that women and girl should be given freedom and rights to wear what they want, hangout with whomever they want and stuff.
There's a difference between "protecting" and "controlling" and this video portrays it clearly. I'm glad my parents only do the protective part. I have my own phone, and no one checks my chats or anything, i go out with friends, but they don't track me, they just ask me where I'm going. That's the differennccceee!
one question that I listen to in every space of my family and that annoys me so much is that always, just always asking all the women in our family, "where are u? (even when they are in the balcony and the hubby can't see her sitting in the sofa, watching a movie, so think she is somewhere else, where idk, maybe he thinks she has the ability to disappear, XD)", "where are u going?", and so on and on... and no woman, however old or matured they become, get rid of such surveillance and the tone in which the questions are asked, the hostility, the disbelief; it hurts and shames me to see the closest family members behave in this hurtful way. My grandpa, my pa; one of them just nags every single woman of our family all the freaking time (my grandma, my aunts, my mom, me; everyone) and another one just messes with my mom's daily life in this way. I hate this. We do know how to take care of ourselves and don't tell me u mean good, bcz ur tone and how u look at us tell otherwise. It hurts and it shames me to see even my mom, the strong lady of my life, who just shoulders the whole family, be looked at in this way by my very close family members.
Its too much. I would have snapped long back.
wow my dad always taught us to never ask this question to our elders so we dont ask anyone where are they going they might be having personal stuff but i do demand to bring me chocolate, pizza etc etc which gets fulfilled
Stand up for yourself. You cannot please them, only they can do it for themselves. Yes stand up to old people as well, they think they can monitor your life because they have nothing else to do. They're miserable, so they want everyone else to be like that as well. However, have a bit of compassion and try and say things you mean in a polite way.
Happy Independence Day to all....
My mind : Who all really got Independence???
Also my mind : It only means Independence from a cruel foreign rule .........
When are we really going to get Independence from this discriminatory society ?? When an outsider calls us Indians 'barbaric' , it's considered a big thing .....
When the people with in our own society becomes discriminatory, it's considered conventional or traditional or culture........
exactly. 'na ghar ka, na ghat ka' situation. XD
I got the idea I was looking for, I will write a poem on this. thanks for the inspiration
We blame the society but often forget we are the society ...
Sometimes it's just us who actually want to end racism but end up differentiating between a black and white person ...gora kala chota mota untouchable rich caste all these things are very widely practised and favoured
Just free your mind
Watch Sadhguru videos and you'll realise we are all the same...a popup on this planet!!
You will feel calm 💙
Yes me (a boy) and my sister don't get any privacy although she suffers more than me i know it but i try to stand up for her and encourage her to stand up for herself too
We just can't WAIT to move out of this toxic environment
Wish everyone gets a brother like you :)
You are a goood brother
Loved what was written on the door,
"Kaiko?
Kaiko?
Kaiko?"
Going to get this on a t-shirt.
I am a guy. My dad didn't let me buy, use a phone in my college. I was the only person in my class not to have a phone. He suspected me of using phone so much that he would suddenly barge into the room assuming I am using the phone and would look for phone.
This was a problem for me, until I made the need for privacy absolutely clear, by being scantily clad inside my room. One destroyed latch of my double door is an evidence of that struggle for establishing privacy in my room. My door was forced open and the latch was destroyed when I stormed inside my room after an argument. I just gave one warning, 'From now on be very afraid of how you'll see me if you force your way into my room'. Like a lot of other Indian women experienced my journals used to get raided too, until there were way too many notebooks, with no order on entry, and they were all riddled with random notes on anything that caught my attention like recycling, water treatment, architecture, history, politics, to- do lists, to- buy list, books, lyric- basically nightmarish disorganization is what discouraged or rather made it difficult for them to read my journalings...they need to first find my journal to read them. Oh, yes even when they do find something to read, I make a point to include atleast one critique on how their parenting effed me up. And I constantly use 'we have 3 kinds of family, one we pick and chose to let into our heart, one that's born to us and one to which we are accidentally born to with no choice, but we do have a choice to put up with or cut off from'. A fair warning that we can think of a life without an 'accidental family', could give them the idea to 'not take your presence or care for granted'...now that I think about it, most Indian languages don't even have anything equivalent to 'taken for granted'....Indian women literally have to do psychological somersaults and warfare, and end up being combative by second nature to get atleast something our way.
Youngsters who are watching, remember that you are upcoming and progressive generation of India. You need to break these ridiculous superstitions in our society so that anyone for that matter may not face these kinds of problem in future. Together, YOU guys can change this society.
I am happy my family don't check my mobile phone even though I never asked them not to do so 😌😌
Speeches after watching this video that women are monitored to that extent. When I see me and my mother having control over our decisions and privacy then it does feel like a privilege. But should it be?
i m 18 and my parents don't even allow me to use a personal phone because of my past relationship! they still think that i will establish contact with him again or any other boy! and so is i m not allowed to go to friends house who lives nearby and so many things like this make me feel like i m living in a prison!and my privacy is disturbed
@master cheif Parents k under hai ya abhi kamate nhi hai to kya jeena chor de? Guide krne me aur control control me difference hota hai. We are growing up, and have our opinions as well. We should even have our own fair share of experiences to learn from!
Abuse samajhte ho aap? This is a sort of mental abuse! I went through a similar phase...
@master cheif Bacche paida krne se hi kaam nhi ban jata. You should not have kids if you are not capable of parenting!
@master cheif damn! man how can go earn if they dont allow me to use a phone dont even let me go out how they are going to leave me outside to do a job !!!!!!!
@@neilchatterjee6236 thats totally right my father just wants control over everyone and if someone's acting against him he gets too panic!
@master cheif I wish, it was just limited to not having a smartphone, lol
Today, when my mom and brother went to the market. My mom was treated rudely by the employee but when she saw my brother , she was all like " what do you want Sir? " . And the worst part was my mom was laughing at it instead of being angry at the disrespectfulness she just experienced. I would have just left without buying anything. My mom was born in a mindset where she was always degradeted. She saw the men's work which was according to her going out and working for the family hard whereas , Women's household job really easy. Where as in reality it isn't. Because a working woman can easily take care of the house and a job if it's suitable for her. For many instances a single mom is the example of how hard it is. When I told her and explained her about the situation we got in to a fight where she thought I was getting attitude due to education. She said can you wake up early at six o clock and go out to the market. She was comparing my work that me and my brother shared to make things easier for her. I wake up early in the morning to help Her everyday for two hours and this is how she repay me. I hate her for it but I know she is a real Hyprotice in these cases. If my brother get groceries atleast twice a month and I help her in half of her household everyday. Isn't it fair that I am working harder than my brother. I love him and he often helps me a lot and I really admire him. Then isn't it fair that women get more respect for not getting a day of holiday from their life duties of being a daughter, wife and a mother. In life as a woman I can say that being a male is easier than female cause they already have their rights . We have to fight for it. If a boy rebels than the parents scold him. But if it's girl. They threaten drop her out of school because she was getting attitude. This is the mindset of many people in world. Not just mine. It's really painful to see that we still have many generations yet to come before women don't have to fight for their rights anymore
I understood one thing while reading the comments. The next generation of parents are gonna raise sensible and emotionally stable kids.
nah,
hypcrites always exist
The day when this happens, India will be called a " Real Independent Country".
I didn't search this
Came in my recommendation
But I think, my phone listens to my cries
Yesterday, my parents took my phone and read all the chats between me and my best friend
Yesterday was the first day after a year, we didn't talk
Her mother and my mother will not let us talk now, forget about meeting
She thinks, we both are lesbians and so doing the "right "thing
But no
I'm am straight, can't I love someone without any sexual desire
Now, a girl can't be friend with a girl also, forget about boys.
I am crying, and crying and crying from yesterday and was feeling it's all my fault
But now, I have realized
Privacy is my right which is being snatched away from me and my family is making me feel uncomfortable entering in my private space
Please help me
I lost my guy best friend too, some months ago because of them
Where am I living God!!!
The content shown on this channel.. Is priceless.. Keep up the good work.. Swaddle 🤗
Thanks, Chirag 👊🏽
This video reminds me of Virginia Woolf's 'A room of one's own'. She said that if a woman wanted to write, she needed to have a room of her own. I feel this applies to every field. One has to have the time and space to reflect, plan, and introspect in order to advance. Even to develop as a person and build a relationship with oneself, one needs a place which they can call their own.
Sadly, this lack of privacy is taking away so many opportunities for innovation in sciences, businesses, and arts from women. God alone knows how many ideas and innovations have been lost to this. 😣
Best solution : Study well, don't get married, fly to a foreign country. Live your life.
Tum logo ki yahi aukat hai
i wanna point out tho that marriage in it's core is good but can be used badly , so i would consider using the sentence "hold forced marriage far away"
I'm a 14 year old from Tamilnadu and I can only dream of going out someday with my gang and watch a movie in a theatre or talk to boys in public without thinking about my family watching me.
Very true. This issue is the most common one. This needed discussion. Amazing video team swaddle.
I should show this to my friend, she is afraid that father would scold her if he find out that I am her friend. I dont know why men are considered as charming when they are good with women and women are labelled as 'whore' when she talks to multiple guys... Double standards.
Their father thinks talking to boys bring them shame on their families but he himself he is a boy that her daughter talk with
In my friend circle nearly half of my friends are male and i mention them all the in front of my mother and name drop them gradually in front of my father later and he doesn't mind, but out if respect for him i don't mention them all the time because he is a man of few words and prefers if his offsprings speak less as well about all topics which are not related our studies or general knowledge.
Last year when we all having tough time in the pandemic .we all need someone who emotionally support us .
Last year when I used to talk to my friends (male) my dad scold me that you shouldn't do so...It'll be dangerous for you , even after that when I'm not feeling fine, I still used to talk to my friends ( I have mainly male friends and that's not my fault ladkiyon se bnti hi nh....)
He even beat me twice or thrice just because i'm talking to my friends.......sorry male friends.....(what an irony now we have to distinguish friends too....😂).
Those slaps not only leave marks on my skin but also on my soul .I was really disturbed mentally ...😖
But I'm doing fine now.
Just because of these incidents I loose all of my friends because I stopped talking to them all and now literally I have only one friend.
Irony is" THAT only friend is MALE.....😂"
Please take care of your mental health and I hope that your relationship with your father gets better . Have a good day ahead !
@@seemasejwal7706 Thanks...☺️
@@charuyadav6831 welcome just know that you're strong enough no matter what
@Anonymouse Its extremely disappointing to know how insultingly you speak about your husband.
@Anonymouse not it's disgusting
my dad is the only the person who cares abt my privacy. my mom and elder brother always ghosts me from the parental app in my mobile, i cant have intsa, discord and social media just bcs I'm still a kid (14 years). cant go outside, and my bro treat me like shit, he literally snatched my privacy in school too by keeping his friends to have eye on me and tell everything that I've done in school. society needs to change a lot :(
My father is on another level
There is an incident which I really wanted to share
So one day my father scolded me because I was roaming on terrace by saying that " upar kisko taakne jati hai padhai nahi karne sakti".So he is doubting on me ,he thinks that I go up there to meet or look for someone(or I can say a guy)
Michel Foucault talked about the ‘Panopticon’. A very rudimentary explanation is that surveillance is designed like a prison with the guards monitoring movement. We are then so conditioned that a Panopticon starts playing in our minds.
Author of The handmaid's tale Margaret Atwood has written something about this. It starts with "male fantasies,male fantasies up on the ground or down on your knees, everything is a male fantasy....." It basically explains that from a very young age girls are subjected to norms set by men and how they control these girls when they're grown up women even without being present around women that at one point a little man starts living inside our head. Everything we do we see it through the gaze of the man that lives inside our head rent free even if it's something trivial like brushing our hair. It's beautiful and eye opening.
Well that's a very information I got thanks
@@minikaur4993 well you see , every skyscraper, roads, dams, ships ,cars, bikes, planes, are made and invented by men, so obviously you will see this world through mens vision, because we worked for it loser, you didnt, by the way, even the phone you are holding, internet and youtube itself is invented by men, so how exactly do you expect to have women preferance, joker.
@@jacklove3888 lol are you stupid? I just quoted an author's work ,you dimwit. Also women invented a lot of things. Do you want me to name few? Hopping signals that are used in wifi and Bluetooth was invented by 50's actress Heddy Lamar , security system was invented by a woman too and so on. You just like hating on women don't you? You're pathetic ,Mr. I- am-going-to-hate-women-everyday-like-I-get-paid-for-it. Also I would like to further add that women would have contributed more to inventions and science if men didn't withhold us from higher education. It happened till the 70's. Maybe read more books it'll open your mind. You need to calm down.
@@minikaur4993 ahhh yes, this is going to be really intresting, you are in bad luck i am studying in iit madras right now, and lol, what is " hopping signals" 😂😂😂😂😂😂, omg are you serious, sweety it is known as "frequency hopping", and it was invented by nikola tesla, go read hady lamarr books, she clearly wrote in that, moreover bluetooth technology was discovered in 1989, and your "hedy lamarr" ,died in 1914 , how did she invented a technology which came 75 years later, oh my god, you really came at this position, lmao, lets see whats your excuse.
It has been a hard fight for me to get to keep my privacy on my phone 😌. I fought quite a bit with my parents and now I can finally keep my phone locked🥳
I was 11 when I got my first phone till 15 it use to be checked but after that my stop it and said now you understand who are wrong people and who are right to sit with so it's your privacy now
I don't know whether this privacy problem is ubiquitous for girls/women, as, I have cousins whose parents respected their privacy and personal space.
My parents only knocked at my usage of phone, when I was in school/college, because it would hamper my studies and they were right.
Isn't stepping out of home has more restrictions for women than men ? At least it is there in my house
You missed the whole point, the issue of restricting privacy for women is beyond phone and internet :)
@@Moitreyee473 In many households, that is unfortunately the case.
However, my parents restricted my access too. So it can happen to both genders. As I said in my OP, it all depends on the kinds of Parents a child has.
@@at1906_ Yes it does and the restriction imposed to guys is more about, as you said, to keep an eye if they get distracted or not from their work. Whereas for most women, it is for protecting her "izzat" and also it extend to not only phone or internet but also to stepping out of house for a woman.
I know the world isn't safe, but it won't be safe if we keep restricting victims and normalize behavior of culprits.
@@Moitreyee473 Now that you edited your comment and included the last line, let me add that I didn't miss the context of this video, as you so blithely claimed. The example of phone was a personal one.
Secondly, my cousins never had an issue with their privacy and personal space. I don't have the ability to check on every family as to how good their privacy laws are. I can only speak from my anecdotal experience.
@@Moitreyee473 You still don't get it, do you???
The phone thing was simply one example I gave from my life. It may not be the same for other boys or even other girls. It all depends on the parents.
The problem of restriction of stepping out of one's home, after twilight existed for me too, when I was a child. My restriction wasn't just relgaged to usage of phone for getting distracted from my studies.
Once I applied nail paint on my nails , I am 15 at that time
Guess what
My mother thought I am doing this for a boy .
While there is me who at that Time had huge interest in cosmetic than now.
I still remember what my mom said
So
She said," Do you wanna marry "?
I know it sounds totally rediculous.
At that time I am not mature at all so I didn't know what was she saying at that time.
But today , I feel so sad , like scolding someone for just applying a nailpaint.
Trust me , at that time I thought I did a huge crime by applying that nailpaint .
🥺🙃
But this is not the end , I had lot of bad experiences like this.
Sometimes when I'm half awake in the morning, I can hear and slightly see my mother unlocking my phone and checking my messages and I feel so sad not only because she's invading my privacy but because she dosen't trust me and feels the need to check whatever she's checking. I've never done anything that's even close to morally wrong, according to society standards, I'm an introvert in the highest level possible and I don't like to wear clothes that expose my skin and curves and still she does that.
After reading the comments, I am suddenly feeling quite grateful for having such awesome parents. They never check my phone calls or messages. There were many times when my male friends call on my dad's number and he hand me the phone without asking anything.
My parents give me privacy but my mother's brother always come suddenly in my room trying to check what I m doing on my phone and ask to give him my phone and they told my parents to not send me outside my state for futher study cos they won't know what I do outside .
@Mallows Marsh I ban his entry in my home..
@@suzi5874 😂
Your mother's brother really needs to get a life and shut it
This gives so much perspective, it's insane.
Also, it goes without saying that the production of the Swaddle is always top f***ing notch.
Imao, I realised that My parents are angels after seeing this.
Idk how swaddle manages to hit the right spot every single time . Hands down the best CZcams channel I’ve ever subscribed to ! Keep up the great great greeaattt work . We all look up to you 🫀
❤️
@@TheSwaddleTV I also subscribe to your channel, you describe the fact and actual problem very gracefully😮
@@TheSwaddleTV
PSEUDO Feminist channel 😂😂
I like your videos .. thanks for making these
Having privacy is a joke in India, for all the genders. Our society believes that living together and always being together is important, which is good, but they forget that people living together are humans too with different personalities.
And in my home, my mother was trying to check what's written in my diary, but I caught her red handedly. I mean I can have my own thoughts and secrets, and no one has the right to know them until I talk about them
Same story 😐
India lol u really think that this only happens in india ok i think first thing u shud do is change ur parents i think they are from 1800s and then live in uk or usa or canada u will come to know what parents are like in abroad too
That's so relatable. Everything in the video. 🙂
Waiting for the hindi version so I can show it to my parents and watch their reactions.😂
Happy independence day to every Indian ! Hope you get the independence our freedom fighters fought for long ago
They'll most likely revert to "bhartiya nari sabyatah sanskar!!!!"
@@lalitthapa101 My dad is legit like "In our society, no one mind what men do. You are a woman, your actions will be judged and gossiped about. You should know your limits"
My mom and I are fed up of him and his patriarchy 😂
Happy independence day btw !
@@Moitreyee473 its so sickening. The question is also why only women? It aligns it why virginity is so obsessed over in Indian society. That a woman who's not one suddenly is a "kalank" that no one will marry. Women are seen as goods that will be sold at the right age to someone else. Hence, "don't do this,that".
I just want independence.from this BS😂
@@lalitthapa101 Exactly. Our freedom fighters will be ashamed of people who provided independence to only a particular group of people and restricted the same for the others.
Currently I m facing exactly this....and it' makes me feel so miserable 😖 abt being a girl......
Am i the only one who felt that when more crime cases increase related to women the more my parents put restrictions on me ?
That is true. But the society are too ignorant and dumb. They will always victim blame women when men are the ones that needs to be educated to not hurt women!!
@@mochi_la_la_la7763 86 percent of men are educated in india, while for women is 13 percent, so who needs education?
"Mother believed Privacy was the highest virtue, and the one most frequently violated "
-Enola Holmes
U guys are so right....I wish everyone understands this and be fair to the women
I have never experienced but I have seen parents checking their teen's mobile but most of the time they are the teens who have done something wrong which is affecting their life. I would say teens need their mobile devices checked by parents cause we mostly don't know what's wrong and what's right.
I am not saying anything about adults or teens having super strict parents. These are some of my thoughts being a teen who have seen few teens ruining their life and others building it.
After seeing these videos I feel lucky
@master cheif Mobile phones are imp now a days. I think it's ok to give 12 or more year old mobile but it should be checked till the age of 16-17.
Late teens deserve privacy.
@master cheif i have no prob of my parents checking my mobile phones but seriously now telling me that I am too young to talk with my best friend is just weird
@@DazzlingWings hmm educated them they r from 1800s 😂😂
@@sociopath2108 yrrr aise mat bolo
@@DazzlingWings ok sorry 😅😅
They keep checking our contacts, call lists and even read our chats.
Privacy and support is something I will consider basic necessity. But in India it has been reduced to the state that we consider it a privilege. Even after 75 years of independence our thinking has not progressed if at all.
Thank god my family never did such things to me but society and relatives yes they do discriminate and judge.
Relatives are a F-ing piece of crap, aren't they?
no matter what never end his channel... i really luv this overthinking series... i was and am a feminist at heart but u guys really expanded my perspectives on many matter that was so normalised in the society that i overlooked them...!!
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK GUYS!!!
Parents Should Check their boys mobile phones. They will definately find intersting. For example adult jokes groups, porn material, adult anime games meme, short video, sims or hentai games, etc. People should protect their boys.
A woman has the right to bolt the door of her bedroom.
Let me go one step ahead, a woman has the right to do whatever the hell she wants as long as she is not stealing your property or harming you.
I feel lucky that my family doesn't treat me like this...
Same bro
Such a nice video. I think we all should share this video as much as possible so that our parents understand our feelings too for having some privacy. 👍
True that I am 22 and while I was in coaching I had some male friends with whom I used to have fun and casual talks but my parents checked my phone and screamed that way that I had committed some sort of crime by talking to boys and same parents were ok with my brother doing the same, such hypocrisy.
In India Young girls suffer a lot during periods at home or in schools. Mothers and Female teachers because they were not taught about hygiene, privacy and facilities , they impose same on their daughters and students and the sufferings goes in loop.
what kind of prlb??
Touchwood, I have never faced this issues luckily. Even before marriage, I have set up my boundaries. As in, my phone has a password, its locked and it won’t be shared. I won’t be giving away my password of my social media account. I even went alone for a Delhi trip, to attend my friends wedding. I prefer going to shopping alone. Because with other person I get anxiety and always ending up with bad choices. This are some of the things. Oh yes! Sometimes, I watch movies in a theatre alone. This are my small privacy moments, which I cherish a lot and am glad that my parents and husband understand this.
I love , respect your team for creating such pin pointed content with exact movie footage snaps and attractive data showcasing . Keep doing it. Proud of 'The Swaddle'.
I absolutely adore the channel's choice of name, "The Swaddle".. incredibly astute, I do perceive what that's actually ment to convey! Also, the graphics as incorporated in to the videos are dastardly brilliant! My reverence.
When we ask the parents to give some privacy and freedom
They will say , after your marraige you can do whatever you want and wherever you can go .
But the truth is , there is no privacy and freedom for women after marriage also.
Actual meaning of the word WOMEN in India - No freedom and no privacy .