Is Autism "Like Living an Exaggerated Existence"?
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 06. 2024
- It started as a viewer comment on a previous video but ended up being a discussion about autism & language, how we sense our world and in particular, how others view autistic people in general.
#EngageAutism #AutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic
Support Autistamatic on Patreon
/ autistamatic
Find more at
www.autistamatic.com/
Autistamatic Merch:
www.teepublic.com/user/autist...
Autistic Primer (playlist)
• The ROOT of Autism: Th...
Made with Shotcut, open source video editing software
shotcut.org/
Images, stock video, sound effects and music not created by the channel are either used under license from their appointed vendors, have been obtained from CZcams creator resources or from the following PD/CC sources:
www.rgbstock.com/
www.videvo.net/ (author - Videvo)
pixabay.com/
filmmusic.io/
freesound.org/
Every effort has been made to ensure that copyrights are respected and that material used is in the public domain. Where copyrighted material is used it is under the terms of "fair use" for educational and/or critical purposes. All copyrights remain the property of their respective owners.
For me, I feel like an extrovert trapped inside of the body of an introvert. I love talking to people but at the same time I get uncomfortable around people.
me too
I can relate to that. Most of what I talk about on this channel came from talking to others and learning from how their experiences and feelings relate to my own. It's incredibly draining though, even with people I like sometimes & actually making the first connection can be a mountain to climb in itself. The idea that autists are all anti-social is a myth that suited a very outdated view of what we are. There's a LOT of lonely autists seeking connection with a society that doesn't seem interested much of the time.
I completely relate to that, too. As for my personal experience, it's not due to social anxiety, or due to any deficits per se, rather it's due to the fact that most people are NTs and I try to actively avoid being implicitly discriminated against when they inevitably misinterpret my words and behaviors and then call me a liar when I try to clarify, resulting in unfair treatment (not all NTs, obviously). Kind of a once bitten twice shy sort of thing, for me. Unless I can tell that someone is almost definitely like me, I tend to avoid talking to them unless they talk to me. Social reciprocity, for me, is supposedly a deficit but I'd argue that that isn't the whole picture - social reciprocity is based more on kinship and shared communication style. Being that most people are NT, that manifests as me not socially reciprocating the majority of the time.
This is a huge oversimplification, on my end, but I'm trying to highlight that one can certainly be an extrovert but limited by other circumstances that have little to do with their personality.
Yep.Im doing good controlling my masking.You gotta get real good at not caring.
Look up I.N.F.J. personality type.
The best way I can describe my autism to allistics is that it's like being on a psychoactive hallucinogen 24/7, without realizing my cognitive norm is not most people's baseline. My neurological hyperacusis (extreme sound sensitivity), misophonia (involuntary fear/pain response to sound), hapephobia (involuntary fear/pain response to touch) and resulting maladaptive hyperphantasia, agoraphobia and other comorbidities are like an unending "trip" or "high," often a debilitating and unwanted one.
Interesting to hear of your aural sensitivities, given your musical talents. Does music, rhythm or sound figure in your thinking or regulatory processes?
@@Autistamatic I have a lot of involuntary synesthesia (sense cross-triggering), particularly seeing sound and hearing sight. It actually manifests as situational mutism and difficulty being verbal (that’s why I’m a situationally verbal autistic and have never been prolific as a content creator).
thanks! I had forgotten the word misophonia. I hope to develop an app for automatically communicating sensitivities & accommodation requests.
@@tayzonday Interesting. I can certainly relate though I'd need to learn more to understand the degree. My "feeling" for words I described in this piece is a combination of connotation and a cross sensory, synesthetic process. It's been a significant factor in countless shutdowns. When people contradict themselves or have emotional disagreements, the sensory dissonance can be deafening, blinding, electrocuting and nausea inducing all at once.
I'll talk about it in more detail in a future video since I'm already receiving messages & emails asking for more info about "verbal thinking" & it's only been up for a few hours!
FWIW I've hardly been prolific myself in recent years and building this back up into a potential career is hard work.
@@Autistamatic A career- or any effort at consistent output- absolutely runs into what one U.K. researcher called “Pathological Demand Avoidance” in my life. Because running out of required spoons to be verbal or engage civil society is so normative for me, I learned to not put myself in situations that require that . . . often for fear of being shamed by neurotypicals or having my behavior ascribed to malice or character fault.
I dont find any words. I just want to say thank you for your effort to make me feel less strange.
I prefer "heightened" to "exaggerated" when referring to my sensory experiences & emotional intensity as an Aspie. It fits equally as well, but without the baggage.
It's an excellent choice👍 Most people can relate to moments of "heightened" sensitivity or awareness, even if it's just in the context of danger. Relatability helps a lot when I'm trying to get out of sticky situations, but it can be a bugger to find common ground sometimes!
And that still could be seen by someone who is uncooperative, biased and/or assuming we have an agenda in our speech that we are better than them. It seems most NTs orbit around power plays in every sphere to the point of looking for hidden meanings where there is none.
As someone who struggles with these more subtle nuances of social communication and how to avoid being misunderstood, I really appreciate your perspective and commentary on subjects like this. It makes it easier for me to not only understand communication in general, but better explain how I feel inside to neurotypicals.
The word 'exaggerate' for me, feels like satin: a lovely textile with no stretch or give, slippery and not suitable for all uses. Thank you for allowing me to wallow in words and sensations yet again. As always you challenge me to think in ways which I might not otherwise explore.
Hi Kylee 😁😁It sounds to me like it does in the video too. I've associated that sound effect with the word "exaggerate" as long as I can remember, so it was nice to "make it flesh" so to speak 😂😂
Yes! Love your description
I consider my experience to be "uncompressed", like an uncompressed audio file: the peaks and troughs are highly exaggerated in most aspects of my life. It's like the "spiky skillsets" that are so common with us autistics: really good at a few things, absolutely awful for most other things. My experience of the sonic world, for example, is very spiky - some sounds are painful for my ears, the clattering of crockery, for example, is like being punched in the ear even if it's not exactly loud. With my sight, bright sun on a clear day hurts my eyes, as does car headlights in the evening.
Very good video, Quinn. Got me thinking about so many things.
Thank you, and that's a nice analogy I can wholeheartedly relate to.
We have the technology,we can rebuild him.
That sound effect is so recognisable. Now have the theme tune to six million dollar man as an ear worm.
This feels like taking a bath. Brain and body unifying in the comfort of a nice bath.
Love this “so perhaps I should give this the full on autistamatic treatment” 😊 my heart definitely heard it as “give it the full autistic treatment”
I agree with your analysis on the word "exaggerated." I don't like the word "rigid" to describe me or other people. Rigid has negative connotations. in my mind, rigid means closed-minded. I like to think of myself has highly principled yet open minded. I like the words dependable or well-disciplined to describe me and/or other autistic people.
Couldn't agree more. Your choice of syntax is very much along the lines of my preferred perspective.
I like to think of synonyms with gentler connotations- like instead of rigid, maybe stable or consistent would work
Indeed, Edward. Rigid has become a bit of a trigger word, as it's often used to shame those with monotropic traits.
Thank you for putting words to these things, you're better at it than me by a long way.
Thank YOU for taking the time to comment.
I agree. He has helped me by giving me words. Priceless.
You are remarkably good at putting words to complex ideas and vague feelings that I've had. I feel like this gives a voice to autistic individuals everywhere. As a verbal thinker who has been told that he has a talent for written communication, it frustrates me when I carefully choose a word only to have it misunderstood anyway. What amplifies this issue with the double empathy problem (and with society in general) is that people don't communicate and clarify. They misunderstand and then run with that assumption rather than saying, "I heard this. Is this what you meant?". I have a script for a CZcams video about the double empathy problem being a societal issue. I have just not gotten the nerve to record it. Thanks again for this, Quinn.
Again, thank you so much for this video. My mind just stopped to think you know exactly how it is? I just thought "I'm looking in a mirror" of how you explained it. 😅 The way you explained about autism and how we try to explain situations and people. Thank you for this. This was charity for me.
I faced that impression of my explanations too. They would say "mildly eccentric", while often thinking "wildly paranoid", as interactions following it would prove.
instead of 'exaggerated' I go with something like 'given the data there is too many possible courses of actions to choose from, assuming no assumptions have been made'
or just turn around their question to push them to be more specific, and explicit
e.g. "How is it going?" into "How is what going?"
it is a kind of a passive attitude detector at the same time
I discovered your channel this week and have found your voice really capturing my experience at this moment for me. I was late diagnosed at 24.
I feel like you're the first person I've heard describe being a "verbal thinker".
Wow. I have been trying to figure out where I fit when I always hear people describe visual, kinesthetic, musical or mathematical thinking... When I don't entirely feel like I fit into any of those.
I think it's why I like your channel so much. When I owned my own business I would pour over the meaning of every word as I would edit my contracts.
When I rewatch my videos I worry about How things come across or how I misrepresented something...
Also I love the fact that you are calling yourself a storyteller now, for all the right reasons.
I do include research and some of my videos but fully recognize I may be out of my league when the only true expertise I can provide is out of my own experience... But I still do a mixture of the two. I tried to allow research to compliment my experiences in order to reach people who will not resonate with my experience exactly. As you said breaking down the nuance.
Great content keep it up! I enjoy listening to you
I've never heard anyone else describe it either, which might explain why it took me so long to work it out for myself. I thought it was "just me" for decades, like most of us do (too often), but the more I learned from other people - MAINLY other autists - the more I realised it wasn't just a "me" thing. Others process in a similar way too. I'm sure someone, somewhere (in summertime*) has written a paper on something similar, not necessarily under the same name (but likely framed as a failure to understand language "properly") and if you come across one, do let me know. If you don't, get in touch. Maybe you can help me develop it?
* Apologies. Bad joke, good song.
I think that most storytellers are verbal thinkers. Most journalists, authors, public speakers, and probably a good chunk of politicians, teachers, and such. A lot of them describe this neverending string of words echoing in their brain all the time. Maybe because I consume a lot of content from such people, but as more of a kinethetic thinker in a very academic space, I was always wondering how many other kinethetic thinkers were out there and I was under the impression that I was surrounded by mostly verbal thinkers most of the time.
@@Autistamatic A) excellent joke 🤌🏼
B) I will definitely keep in touch if I find any information pertaining to, or sounding like, this concept. I've heard of linguaphiles, but that doesn't quite fit as this is more a love of languages and studying languages... Not the same thing.
If not, I think it would be a worthwhile endeavor to develop such a concept for sure, because I do believe it's experienced by many more.
Thanks Quinn. I love words too. My whole body feels the word "rigid". I often struggle for definitions because i have to work backwards from my physical sensation or intuition. I also love how certain words feel in my mouth. During the video, I kept thinking of Humpty Dumpty's quote from "Through the LookingGlass": "when I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean. Neither more nor less."
Thank you so much for describing the verbal component. I am a verbal/social expert with synesthesia, a combination which of course meant I couldn't be diagnosed until recently. People really have no idea the stakes of misspeaking or the amount of denotative, connotative, and contextual data which must be processed consciously to avoid misspeaking. It's no wonder I am considered "rigid" and "thoughtless." Of course I have over-generalized and categorized speech patterns differently based on my experiences... which felt differently. The part you didn't talk about here, whether because it was off-topic or because it isn't part of your presentation, is how hard it is to explain to people that I have deficits in imagination, when I can wrooneite poetry and parse metaphors better than 99.9% of the population. But, no. if no one has told me that a word can have that particular implication, I literally am not able to predict that someone MIGHT interpret that word that way. It means I live in a minefield of new information people don't expect or know how to explain so that I can categorize it in a useful way. By the time I was diagnosed in my 40s, I had a LOT of poorly-categorized data resulting in maladaptive "rules" about how people work. And half the time, you can't get explicit confirmation about what your words mean to others, becuase they simply have never had to think about it consciously... they do it all subconsciously. they aren't able to do the cognitive empathy work of taking a perspective that is more analog than their own.
Hi Marie. Thanks for your observations & yes it's something I relate to quite significantly. This was only intended to give a taste of how a verbal thinker processes language & sensory input, rather than a full banquet. I'll be talking more about verbal thought processes at a later date, so anything you have to add is welcome. I can take submissions on the email address on the channel's home page or the contact forms on Patreon or autistamatic.com
I can relate to everything you said here! I’m very interested in further discussion about verbal thought processing.
I’ve got no “inner dialogue” and only developed verbal communication after I learned how to read (my parents were so shocked when I started reading aloud at 3 yrs old, because I didn’t talk much before that).
Your thoughts on connotation and implication are especially intriguing to me! Perhaps some of my communication failures are because of those nuances.
Looking forward to more discussion on this topic!
I think these videos are my favourite ones on autism, thanks for making things seem more easily understood and/or making it feel like someone gets the way i see things.
That means a lot. Thank you
Thank you sir! I love the way you described the way you think. I absolutely adore the lesson about the meanings of words and all that they can do if used properly or the opposite. I have always tried to choose my words carefully specifically because I know how much the meaning can be distorted in someone else's perspective compared to the original meaning I had intended for the words. I really hope I'll be able to be at least a quarter as good in analyzing and choosing words as you are, as it is quite a big passion of mine. I am also autistic and I agree that for an autistic person, an exaggerated existence is a good way of describing life and it's easy to understand and relatable, but you cannot use such a phrase with anyone as it can take a different meaning in a neurotypical's person mind.
This is one of the most interesting videos I've seen in a while. And I learnt something about myself! I also "feel" words and never even noticed. Explains why I find reading such an intense experience sometimes. Fascinating.
A video with cats will pull me in and yes I have often been blamed for seeing life in an exaggerated way. But because some people have behaved so badly that I cannot cope with their exaggerated and unnecessary attacks on me.
Hi Robert. I noticed the name change & checked your update video. When I hear people telling us to be more resilient, I think you could teach them a thing or two. Do you mind if I give you a mention on the channel soon?
@@Autistamatic No problems, it would be a privilege. I have battled against misunderstanding all my life, the PTSD I suffer is exaggerated by my cancer treatment which makes me very sad, I just hurt every day. Nevertheless, I have no choice other than to survive the best I can, I have my painting to turn to. That's what we do, autistic people carry our own lights in a dark world, like the Hermit in tarot. Thanks Quinn 😃
Indeed🎉
The amount of analysis arpund each individual word expresses why i find it so difficult to describe ny experience, as well as how when i do find words to describe my experience, they are used against me or misunderstood. Communicating my experience as an autistic person is so difficult.
I stopped trying. Explaining is ghey. Be a mystery.
People love mysteries. Don't explain, be a mystery. It's easier
I'm a writer and can totally relate to being a verbal thinker. I love words and their meanings and usage for different contexts.
Thanks for making this video ❤ I appreciate your insights
I very much have the same experience with words. I'm also autistic. So cool to find your video!
I’ve seen no other videos on your channel but with that said: I feel like this is a really meta entry point to find!
I share a lot of your views on words and their power :3 .. I'm a writer by "calling" ;)
Ive been thinking of this a lot recently. Because of the overconected nerons which is the physical aspect of autism, and because ive described my emotions and mental narratives as being exagerated compared with the basic facts a lot recently. Ive been feelin delusional and immature because my emotions are so much bigger than what is considered resonable by others.
Neurofeedback improves me alot. I used to have extreme sensory trouble. Now i dont this anymore and I can do eye contact very well. I am much calmer in every situations even where there is alot of noise or visaul input.
I play a gacha game and previously was part of an online server dedicated to talking about it. As a beginner, I entered the game menus and checked out some of the moves I wanted for my characters as I was planning what was most important to buy.
I dropped the pics of said moves on the Discord server, saying those seemed to be good to have.
Moments later, someone I have never seen in my life mentions in a half-hostile way that I was **flexing**.
For real? How would I even ""flex"" with stuff I don't have in the first place? How in the world did this person think that me placing those photos there was equal to "look at what I have" when the same person did not even take the time to read the previous messages?
I guess this makes a similar situation with the "exaggerated" word. I took it as you saying that you have heightened sensorial experiences and with some more difficulties than those who are not autistic like us. No, I didn't mean to say we are special snowflakes. No, as you said yourself, you weren't trying to diminish anyone saying that. And no, I was not "flexing" because I posted pics of in-game stuff to buy only for it to be mistaken as stuff I already had and me rubbing it on the face of others. I don't operate on the basis of subtle power plays, and I suppose most of us autistic people don't.
When you put RIGID on the screen, for me the G was really important like I was drawn to it and I found the word hard to read.
I, too, am careful with my words and tone being concerned with how I’m being perceived or understood. 😂 I’m also told frequently that the listener has to Google the meaning. 🤷🏼♀️
I grew up with the phrase "He's swallowed a bloody dictionary again!" ringing in my ears 😂😂
I always struggled with vocabulary lessons in school. I wonder if I'd had a teacher who taught the colors and smells of words if I would have internalized "connotation" at a younger age.
Remember those cartoons as a kid, where if an animal was in love, they’d show you his enlarged heart beating hard inside and outside of his chest? 😊It’s like we have twice the heart, twice the empathy, and twice the feeling of neurotypicals. What I ruminate about for weeks, the non-autistic moves on from quickly. (SMH)
Absolutely brilliant, thank you
I'm going through the process of looking for a diagnosis. This video made me want to write a paper... Maybe more than one, while I wait on it. Love your channel.
Write a paper? I'm curious now. What's your specialty?
@@Autistamatic Philosophy! I'm currently interested in making the information about autism a little more available for Spanish-speaking contexts
This is the first time that I have seen a video from you, the way that you described yourself sounds a lot like the way that I process things, but I've never heard it put that way. I used to watch Babylon 5, and there was a character, named Garibaldi, who was in charge of security. Another character said something about the way that he always practiced what he said in his head before he said it, to avoid misunderstandings. I thought, "I always do that, too." Now I don't do it as ofter, because I have had enough experiences that I have a "script" for most experiences, but that means that there are still a lot of misunderstandings with people that come into an interaction on the defensive/with a prejudice against me.
In school, I had to finish my final draft fairly close to the deadline, to avoid reading and changing words because they weren't quite right, multiple times. In a good deal of those cases, I would change it back anyway. I always think about the words that I use because I'm afraid thar they'll be to complicated and maybe I should make it something easier, but that doesn't really get across what I want to say...
Michael Garibaldi was probably my favourite human character in B5😁 Some of the exchanges between him & Londo were TV gold.
Great video, it was really interesting to hear your perception of words. I'm more an abstract thinker, I have similar experiences with numbers. I associate feelings and personality to numbers. I dislike numbers ending in 5, but enjoy multiples of 3. Primes numbers are of course dissonant, but numbers like 12 are more fluid.
I was once told that my life was a cartoon lol
I am so grateful for how my life has been intense
I am very funny in Chinese too, my third language lol
WORDS!!!! Woooohhh
Choosing words when talking is not a new idea. However, when answering to people is not easy to find the right words quickly, and you are expected to answer quickly, not thinking for 10-20 seconds choosing the words. Also, most of the words can be turned against you, maybe some words for you can be precise and correct, but for others they can be rude and inappropriate. So, maybe the best way is not talking to the people who assume the worst meaning of the word you chose to say.
It's interesting that all the negative responses were fear-based and that's something I didn't understand for a long time. Giving more information to someone who interprets new ideas as scary, will always be a doomed cause. This is why we have to affect a scope larger than the sphere of reactionary thinking
I can sense when people are uncomfortable with me by looking at their face. I know when I did something wrong but I can't identify the behaviour that is at fault. I usually appologise for not knowing what I did wrong, although people think I won't repeat the behavior after I admit to doing it.
Thanks, Quinn. 💖
I'm 33 and was diagnosed with AS at 23. I also realised the reality of the spiritual world at 23, and it relates alot to what I am about say. Godincedently earlier in the forest I was screaming at God and the subject was about words. I was ashamedly swearing and saying why did you create me to struggle so much with words? The swearing was coming out because sentences do not come naturally to me like everyone else. I have to think so hard about what words to use and why people treat me like i'm less intellegent than the average person. The problem is not just us being oppesite I don't have the interest in words to really push myself and learn because I don't see it as what's really important in life, and this is where the spiritual aspect comes in.
Words really from the foundation are "positive or negative" and this is what is really important in life not the word itself, the problem is peoples lack of intellegance to see this. Like the bible says "They judge based on the outward appearance of how big/huge/gigantic/humongous the word is, not the heart behind it.
Now lets just take that sentence for example. I guarantee (in fact I know) if I was to re phrase that, and replace words with either what human beings percieve as "bigger" or "lesser" it is no doubt the person on the reciving end will evaluate how intellegent they think I am based on formulation. Not the really important aspect which is my heart, whether i'm expressing kindness or being horrible to someone. That's where words really start "positive or negative" then how you formulate from there on in my mind is not important as long as the basic mechanics of the message is understood by the other person.
I immediately identified with this statement.
Exaggerated is a fairly useful seeming word for a spiky skill set
It certainly is, which is why I've used it myself, but I always feel I have to carefully qualify it after.... which sometimes can be useful when telling a story 😉
I am recently diagnosed, however, "I've know" since 4 years ago. I think I have been trying to use this direction to describe my experience to others and what I have noticed that people need time to wrap their heads about this idea. My main goal is to explain that my autism is not an excuse (this kind of perception of me hurts me a lot) but it's an explanation. It's not that I don't want to be helpful to others or don't want people to count on me. Just some things are much harder for me that others might perceive it... for some things I need a bit more explanation or time to figure... some things I just need to do my particular way even if it doesn't make sense to anyone (even I lack words to explain that particular reasoning... I just "know" it is correct for me).
There is something else around the topic of words and meaning. I think you are the first person to show to me another flavour of my autism. While I would consider you being better with words than me I totally get how words are much more than their dictionary meaning. Being I am a Polish native speaker and also I am quite fluent in English I have extremely strong feelings around localization of games and translations of all kinds of media. I have come up with this idea that if you can consume media in otheir original language, it is a far better experience because a lot gets lost in translation. While I am not the only person having this sentiment I have never seen anyone being so obssesed about the topic. To the point that I cannot stand some localizations or translations. They feel wrong and it feels wrong all over my body. I was never able to relate with anyone on that feeling and how you described your relationship with words it came the closest.
I also think while speaking/writing. However, the funny part is that I need to speak/write to someone. For some reason I cannot journal... it's not the same. Feedback or even potantial feedback from another human being changes everything. At the same time, it is extremely difficult to find people capable to keep up with me when I go on my journey with words as the meaning unravels. Many poeple get stuck on what I have said initially while my brain have already jumped several hoops forward. This leads to even more misunderstandings.
Thanks for commenting. I'm interested in your views on localisation & translation that you mentioned. Getting Autistamatic translated to other languages is an ambition for the near future, but ensuring the subtlety of my work translates is going to be a huge challenge. On an unrelated point, Between Flying Wild Hog and CD Projekt Red, Poland has produced some of my favourite games of the last decade😊
@@Autistamatic I am not sure if this idea in my head is complete enough but I can share what I was able to come up with over the years. And funny enough Witcher games gave me some interesting ideas.
When I was younger I thought those feelings I had around localisations were due to poor quality. However, I could not find solutions of how it could be done better. Then I had this theory that certain fantasy terms sound bad for me in Polish because it's my native language and English simply has some mistique around it. Here were Witcher comes in. I've read the books around early 2000s so I've known the Witcher universe for some time. After watching a playthru of Witcher 2 from several youtube creators both in Polish and English, I realized that while English localisation is solid there are certain phrases that just don't hit the same in English as they do in Polish. One thing is cultural references but there was something more. And I cannot put a finger on it yet. The ideas I have are a bit formless at this point and might need to refining and searching for such a description that fits how I feel about it. I also acknowledge the theory that we prefer how we've experienced certain concepts for the first time and I think this plays a role to some extend but that's not all.
And for some reason I really dislike translating names even if the name has some other meaning based on the original language. I prefer it being explained somehwere the meaning from the original language but when it comes to actually using the name within the universe or broader context, using a translated name feels wrong to me.
@@lilijagaming I've talked about the same with other friends and contacts in Europe and it's a fascinating topic. I do wonder how my synaesthetic relationship with words might differ had I grown up with a different language & culture as my point of reference. As I said in a recent video, the English language is a HUGE, bastardised language that has assimilated from other languages for millennia, yet we still have to directly borrow from other languages even now, to fill in the gaps.
It's a glorious subject which has filled many hours of enjoyable conversation 😊
Yes, those are exactly the words
There is a scene in a movie that was once banned, called The Devils, where a woman who is later burned as a witch, is warned to stop being so excitable and passionate about nature and how beautiful she finds every experience.
That was her "mark" of being a witch. Feeling everything and ecstatically loving that experience.
No, she was not portrayed as being vulgar about it, but that was the priests' projection onto her, (not unlike Frollo's judgement on Esmerelda, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame).
Ken Russell at his auteur heights! A friend of mine, an ardent, autistic enthusiast of bizarre and thought-provoking cinema, could probably tell you what was on the lunch menu in the catering van they used during filming 😂
For me the words don't induce any inate feelings for me. Thats one of the traits about me that causes people to say that I am "like a robot". I know that words can have different interpretations and I know that context is important, but my brain is rigid and takes things literally. A really good example of my way of thinking is commander data from star trek next generation, or isaac from the orville. They are both robots so i can see why people say im robot like.
funnily enough exaggerate doesn't feel wobbly to me at all. It feels like a paper cut with a knife in the air. Maybe it's the rough x and the double g that makes it so aggressive for me. Has nothing to do with the meaning. Aggressive on the other hand feels a lot more wobbly.
I love your philosophical videos. I think you touch on the double empathy problem here. It being "an exaggerated experience of life" is a good way to describe it to a neurotypical. And it is that but also it is more. In a way I think it's exaggerated how neurotypicals react to some things. And while neurotypicals have a world of emotional communication I have a lot of that tuned down and some of it tuned up, and then there are parts that neurotypicals don't have. My brain just constantly works on a very different pattern. Some of it is essentially a neurotypical pattern or getting the same results as a neurotypical pattern but with a different approach, and some of it is just neurodivergent. And a lot of it is just a funny thought. Like the texture words have for me. Most of the textures are in no relation to the words meaning, so they have no personal use for me other than making me smile sometimes. English is not my first language so I am sure that contributes to a lot of word textures being very far of the meaning. Fish for example has a cute texture, because its close to the onomatopoeic swish, but because its in the water, the "sw" sound gets muffled into a "fff". It's like a fish swishing through water. Does it have an real life practical use? No but it has a psychologically satisfying use to me when a word has a fitting texture and not a confusing one like exaggerate.
It's hard for me to describe what my autistic experience is like in relation to the allistic experience, because I'm not allistic. I liken it to my incomprehension of gay and straight people as a pan/bisexual. I don't understand how those people are turned off by mere body parts. Likewise I don't understand how allistics can just walk through a busy supermarket and function. If I put on sunglasses and earmuffs, and carefully avoid physical contact, is that how allistics experience life - how they see the world, and therefore cope? Is it that their senses are duller, do their brains dull their senses, like constricting some sort of sensory pupil? I don't know, but it's at least fascinating.
When you essentially said that 'exaggerated' isn't a descriptor you'd trust with people who have power to make your life difficult, that was exactly the gripe I had with it, specifically in how non-autistic people may interpret it and what the consequence of that would most likely be. Although it's a great way to describe it, when we talk amongst each other, it's important to use it with a lot of precision and disclaimer, in public spaces, for the reasons already mentioned; power dynamics between TD peers and us are very real and, unfortunately, those dynamics are not in our (A peers) favor. Words hold a lot of power, and that's why I'm extremely selective in my language - from what you've explained in this video, Quinn, I gather you are, too.
You made a lot of great points and your insights are apt, as usual. This was an interesting video, but there were some potential tangential topics in it that you didn't have time to go into, which is sort of a drag because now they're on my mind. One of those, particularly, was 'rigidity' and the way that those with ASD are accused by TD peers of it, while TD peers can equally be accused of it from the perspective of A peers. 🤔
Thanks for the video, great content, keep it up.
I've a growing list of topics that will keep me going for years, but I've been sowing seeds for later harvest for a long time. I'd like to talk about that "rigidity" concept in a very specific way at a later date and so one of those seeds was cast into the earth here.
As to "exaggerated" - I wouldn't say I have a "gripe" with it or I wouldn't use it at all, but I thought that exchange was a good opportunity to introduce the topic of transmitted vs received communication in a constructive way.
If your experience is anything like mine, then many of those misunderstandings we anticipate & carefully plan our words to avoid, don't happen even when we get it wrong spectacularly. When they DO backfire on us though, we suffer the consequences then add a new layer to our syntactic shield before dusting ourselves off and marching off to the next dilemma.
@@Autistamaticnow that you mention it, 'gripe' is probably too liberally used here. You're also touching on exactly the topic I found the need to highlight, myself, in that thread: although exaggerated might be appropriate, within context, it can be received by certain parties the wrong way. One of the first commenters in that thread had already mistaken the meaning, which is specifically what led me to that chain of thought, myself. More appropriately, it's not a gripe with the word itself, rather it is more of an awareness of the fact that, in that context, it was potentially a loaded word. In order to elicit further clarification, it's always best to draw attention to those situations.
I can't say that I've never been the one whose words have been taken out of context, or stretched beyond their meaning, nor that I've always been perfect in my delivery. To say so would be unrealistic - no one is born perfect or anywhere near it. I can say, however, that, like some other highly verbal autists, I did cling to language at an early age. Perhaps it's the systematic nature of language, itself, that is attractive; perhaps a natural propensity for it lends to interest, too, who can say? The fact of the matter is that, although one might have taken to language and semantics and sociolinguistics at an early age, or at all for that matter, we all have to learn over time what works and what doesn't.
As for whether my experience is anything like yours, I will say that I certainly have a compulsive urge to preempt errors as often as possible. This has many consequences, one of which lends to seeming pedantic, as well as correcting others or asking for clarification where others might not think it's needed, as I can be overly critical of potentially loaded language (from the perspective of others), but also that I fall into overexplaining things so that my words are concise and accurate. It's a doubled edged sword, as lengthy speeches may come across as condescending, or others may simply lose interest as their eyes gloss over. Additionally, it can be perceived as 'splitting hairs' or being 'difficult'. As long as the result is that interactions remain fair and everyone is allowed to clarify themselves and to speak their thoughts, I'm fine with being perceived however 'pedantic' people want to say I am. I value justice, as well as truth and accuracy. The three of those things come together in what you see here 😅
Anyway, monotropism through the roof, if you couldn't tell.
❤❤❤❤❤
As a late diagnosed Autistic 43yo (diagnosed june 2023), my use of words throws people into major confusion. I know how you feel wuth the use of words.
Nothing exists outside of language.
This may be so, as there is an argument to be made for the possibility that 'meaningful intelligence' (philosophical connotation) is foundationally emergent from NLP (natural language processing). Consciousness may be complex and not dependent upon language, but some mode of intelligence or will is needed to guide it, or else it is probably transient and amorphous, so to speak. Of course, it's hypothetical, as we cannot separate intelligence from consciousness for all conscious entities we encounter are also intelligent, in some way. 🤔 interesting to think about, though
I'm a visual thinker
I don’t like the word exaggerated for this. It rings too much like making a mountain out of a molehill. But I did enjoy this video.
You're talking about the difference between denotative and connotative meanings of words. Denotation = literal definition of a word. Connotation = subjective, cultural associations of words. The same reason why most women tend to prefer being described as women, not "females" - because female as a noun is usually associated in English with being used to describe animals, not humans.
Partially, but something more than that. This wasn't an attempt to describe verbal thought processes in detail, but it was important to touch on for context. Connotation comes into play when common reference can be found, but you'll already see in these comments that there's endless variety between verbal thinkers.
These go to 11. All of them. All the time. I can't tune out any of them most of the time. It's why I don't go to parties or dance clubs.
tavi.
For someone who has no imagination, how can it be explained that words may have "colour" or "texture"? Does the word actually appear that way (like wearing a pair of augmented-reality glasses), or is it like having an internal photo-album?
Thanks for commenting, but could you provide some context please? Are you describing your own experience or asking me a personal question?
@@Autistamatic I hope this isn't too far off-topic, but your video brought many unanswered questions to mind.
I'm not entirely sure what to call it, but the medical/psychological community may eventually settle on something like total-aphantasia, multisensory-aphantasia, or SDAM; however, I would just call it no-imagination. Most of us have no idea of what "using your imagination" actually means, and we think that people are exaggerating, extensively using metaphor and hyperbole, when they mention it. Personally, I can only think about words by subvocalization - if I do not silently whisper words that I physically see, or that are currently being spoken to me, then I cannot think of them; if someone near me is speaking, I automatically subvocalize their words and cannot think of my own; if multiple people are speaking at the same time, it is just noise.
I just recently discovered that people don't exaggerate on their imagination, and I'm just genuinely curious as to how it actually works for people. It seems amazing, but no one really speaks about it.
From the video, I can understand how words, when given context, can lead to an emotional response; some words can even send shivers down my spine and cause all of my hairs to stand up. Quinn, if words, for you, have a certain texture or shape, what's going on? Can you reach out and feel the imaginary word, or can it be described in another way? For those that experience words as a colour, sound, or something else, do the words seem to change while looking at them, or what? Is experiencing a word as some type of sensation something that "all other" people have the ability to do? If you had to explain this ability to a dumb alien who can only grasp the concepts of living in a physical reality, what would that explanation be?
Warning: Infodump, I'm not condensing this information
From what I have come to learn, autism is a series of misunderstandings stemming from how I experienced the world at a young age, scaled up towards today. I am not able to use body language to see or communicate, so I just assume that entire world isn't there because I don't know about it. That is where a lot of the problem lies, is my assumption that things are just at face value. Most people seem to understand that there's an entire world of subtext behind seemingly useless things like "talking about the weather", where it's more about sharing experiences than fact finding, which is what our kind do. (literary analysis like knowing stories and symbolism helped me a lot here, it's a similar concept) There are other things to autism too (such as sensory overload), and even with my understanding of the problem and strategies (such as reading the tone of words said and the words themselves to generate meaning) I still cannot read body language or any of the sort and I am unable to pick up on some signals, possibly forever! I don't know. It's kind of a curse in a way, because I am now fully aware when I am messing up and I can't fix it and it's deeply frustrating.
I'm also running into an all new problem now because I am prioritizing human connection over fact-based conversations. (I also need to develop more of a personality instead of just existing in a space every time I am in public) Doing this has enriched my life significantly, but it also leads to some very destructive scenarios where it almost turns into a constant cycle of self-pity as I feel bad for this person, I communicate that, they feel bad that I feel bad, and it's almost vampiric energy stealing because suddenly they just feel miserable around me despite my best intentions. It doesn't always happen, it's just specific types of people. Still working out how to not do that, but that's where I'm at right now. The world is a complicated place and I realize that a lot of the problems I had with it are both far worse and far easier than I imagined, simultaneously. It's so hard to put into words.
Thanks for commenting, and feel free to infodump. What do you think I was doing for 15 minutes on your screen before you posted 😂
Personally I would describe autism with the word 'hell'. My hope it is just me, but sensibility tells me I(t) ain't.
😀
Is multiple ear piercings on dudes an autistic thing? I'm autistic and have 2 earrings in each ear. I was inspired by the Varna burial, iirc. I like ancient ways.
It's a "likes shiny things" - er... thing'😉😂
@@Autistamatic mine jingle lightly when I shake my head, and it sounds nice. Plus being a fidget sometimes. I think all of these things can apply as well. I do like shiny things lol
@@Baptized_in_Fire. I do like the jingle too. If you listen carefully on some of my old videos (when I used a Lavalier mic) you can hear it in the recording😁
Beyond sus.
Susurration? 🍃
@@pardalote Suspicious.