Your Body Is a Joke

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  • čas přidán 27. 04. 2021
  • Your body is a joke....we meant temple. These comedians will tell you all about how they're dealing with their temples.
    Comedian Lineup:
    Nate Bargatze
    Ray Romano
    Patton Oswalt
    Fortune Feimster
    Cristela Alonzo
    Tom Segura
    Marc Maron
    Tiffany Haddish
    Urzila Carlson
    Subscribe: bit.ly/2Kncxw6
    About Netflix Is A Joke: The official hub of Netflix stand-up, comedy series, films, and all things funny - curated by the world’s most advanced algorithm and a depressed, yet lovable, cartoon horse. Their unlikely friendship is our story…
    About Netflix: Netflix is the world's leading streaming entertainment service with 208 million paid memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.
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  • Komedie

Komentáře • 200

  • @yamilad.555
    @yamilad.555 Před 3 lety +430

    “I don’t know who he disrespected more me or Olivia”😂😂😂

    • @JW-vd4il
      @JW-vd4il Před 10 měsíci +1

      I still want to know why this old man might have thought his wife... would be topless at the side of the road!
      "Oh, honest mistake." Olivia and her husband (the old man) must be pretty wild. 😂😂😂

  • @Selinxxxxxxx
    @Selinxxxxxxx Před rokem +33

    Help sugar bat get back to his insulin STOOPPPP 😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭

  • @ludmillagutomo
    @ludmillagutomo Před 2 lety +153

    "not chocolatey brown, not fudge brown, as brown as brown as the dirt in the graveyard that awaits you!" 😂😂😂

  • @viceshark
    @viceshark Před 3 lety +737

    I keep Whole Foods bags in my car so my neighbors don’t see me carrying in mcdonalds everyday.

  • @JargonMadjin
    @JargonMadjin Před rokem +72

    "You inspired me"
    "Oh, I didn't mean to"
    This obliterated me

  • @scee8260
    @scee8260 Před 3 lety +181

    Oh my god, Patton Oswald. I just bought my first serious cereal last week. Up until this point the only cereal I have consumed is rainbow. I told my mom I bought "adult cereal" she didn't believe me. I had to text her a picture

  • @nada__
    @nada__ Před 3 lety +83

    Damn Netflix u didn’t have to come @ me like that. Like I’m trying my best ok ?

    • @beebsxoxo
      @beebsxoxo Před 3 lety +3

      LMAO 🤣😆😆
      Too FUNNY 😆🤣😆🤣

  • @abbyiswatching2046
    @abbyiswatching2046 Před 3 lety +70

    Patton Oswalt's bit reminded me of the Saturday Night Live classic bit where Phil Hartman does a commercial for a cereal called "Colon Blow!"

    • @avidnongetit8710
      @avidnongetit8710 Před rokem +1

      I still LMAO about colon blow! Haven't seen it in decades. It's just Great

  • @rasmusn.e.m1064
    @rasmusn.e.m1064 Před 3 lety +299

    Damn, that Patton Oswalt bit is almost poetic. I'm in my twenties, and I'm already starting to see the magic fade from the small things in life.

    • @elenalouis311
      @elenalouis311 Před 3 lety +5

      You’re so right it hurts

    • @Headpimples
      @Headpimples Před 2 lety +5

      Lol I eat Ezekiel cereal! Lol I need that iron! But it’s good! But hurts my sensitive teeth lol! Gotta let it soak!

    • @callefalk4457
      @callefalk4457 Před 2 lety +1

      WTF???

    • @randywatson1982
      @randywatson1982 Před 2 lety +5

      I’m 39, I started eating Wheaties and bran flakes about 10 years ago. I love them. Sometimes I mix them with a sugar cereal like a cereal killer…

    • @PerfectlyImperfct
      @PerfectlyImperfct Před 2 lety +2

      What til u get in ur thirties and beyond lol

  • @opinionatedlookinboy5555
    @opinionatedlookinboy5555 Před 2 lety +88

    The Australian lady at the end was hilarious. And she was oh-so correct!! That bunghole hair will both surprise and gross the hell out of you. Lmao 🤣

    • @AirWindFire
      @AirWindFire Před 2 lety +6

      Tears in my eyes! “Why is it so dark!?”!

    • @adambeckers4423
      @adambeckers4423 Před rokem +5

      Her name's Urzila Carlson. Her accent is mostly South African with a bit of New Zealand thrown in there.

  • @PerfectlyImperfct
    @PerfectlyImperfct Před 2 lety +13

    "Cry more and eat less" 😂😂😂 i love tom segura. Hes such a delightful asshole lmao

  • @Germatti13489
    @Germatti13489 Před 3 lety +145

    I remember when I first realized that I was "old". I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time and had only met through my job, so I didn't really know him.
    But for some reason he gave me a hug then said to me, "You aren't as old as I thought you were". 👵

    • @nieblamulticolor
      @nieblamulticolor Před 3 lety +2

      ruuude

    • @Germatti13489
      @Germatti13489 Před 3 lety +1

      @@nieblamulticolor very true. ❤️👵

    • @Dakarai_Knight
      @Dakarai_Knight Před 2 lety +1

      Yooooo why they gotta do you like that

    • @EuroGuy85
      @EuroGuy85 Před 2 lety

      If you were born in 89, you’re not old yet. Wait until 2029, then you’ll be old.

  • @buschg7106
    @buschg7106 Před 3 lety +21

    "Olivia?"🤣🤣

  • @blugreen123
    @blugreen123 Před 2 lety +17

    This should have included John Mulaney's bit about talking through burps and being damp all the time. 😂

  • @Poppins242
    @Poppins242 Před 3 lety +37

    Cry more, eat less 😂 Tom segura is a legend

  • @Amarideout
    @Amarideout Před 2 lety +11

    Why are high fiber cereals always sh!t brown? It's like...they wanna make you feel like it REALLY really works....😂 like 'See? Solid in, solid out, smooth move, have a second bowl for the bowl!"

  • @Slicer1475
    @Slicer1475 Před 3 lety +66

    I became overweight to the point where I told my doctor that i was tired of using 3 full body mirrors to pee in the morning. So i went from 240 to 175 in a year after getting off of meds that made me go from 154 to 215 in 4 months. I peeked at 240 around 6 months later. When asked if there were any changes, i told the receptionist yes that i had DickeyDoo Syndrome. That's where your stomach sticks out further than your dickey doo. She almost wrote that in my charts haha. But I'm sticking around the 175 mark as of now.

    • @mipoorboy1478
      @mipoorboy1478 Před 3 lety +6

      Great job! That stuff isn’t easy!! I lost 45lbs in a year and it had to do with dropping meds too. I didn’t even know how bad I felt. My health was crap and I thought I felt better than I did. But there is no denying that weight loss in a healthy way truly does make life easier and better.

    • @9keykey
      @9keykey Před rokem +1

      Dickey Doo Syndrome is relative with the Booty Doo Syndrome. Stomach sticks out more than your booty do.🤣

    • @TaxidriverBarbi
      @TaxidriverBarbi Před rokem +2

      It's been a year since you posted, are you still doing good? Hope so! As a woman, we get boody-doo. Gut sticks out further than my boody do.

    • @Slicer1475
      @Slicer1475 Před rokem +3

      @@TaxidriverBarbi still on the right track. Thank you! Hopefully everything is going good for you as well.

    • @TaxidriverBarbi
      @TaxidriverBarbi Před rokem +1

      @@Slicer1475, I've yo-yoed 100 lbs up and down for years. I've stayed at the higher end for a long time now. HOWEVER, I just went through some big life changes and plan to use this as a new life. Ironically, around New Years, so fingers crossed. Brush some of your self control my way 😏

  • @Imsexysryurnot
    @Imsexysryurnot Před 3 lety +26

    ... can I just say, when she power walked at 6:30 with the shoulders up... not bad 😉

  • @wesleysmith2934
    @wesleysmith2934 Před 3 lety +9

    I think the old man trolled the first comedian

  • @lydianayo8041
    @lydianayo8041 Před 2 lety +40

    I've heard that opening joke about Olivia a bunch of times, and I still laugh out loud. Every time.

    • @JW-vd4il
      @JW-vd4il Před 10 měsíci

      Today is the first time I heard this.
      I put this compilation on, for a morning mood-lifter, getting ready to go out. Then I had to stop it because I was laughing so hard I was literally crying. I'm trying to get ready to leave the house looking normal!
      So I was thinking about it all day. Probably looked like a psycho sometimes, trying to suppress giggling about it.
      I just got home and watched again, ready to laugh and let the laughter-tears loose. But surely it won't hit me as hard this time, right? -- nope, WORSE: I think a muscle in my side just BROKE forever, laughing so hard. 😂😂😂

  • @seekingeudaimonia6884
    @seekingeudaimonia6884 Před 3 lety +115

    I just realized, watching a comedian nowadays live, is basically paying to read someone’s top tweets, just with enthusiasm and an ability to convey sarcasm appropriately.

    • @seekingeudaimonia6884
      @seekingeudaimonia6884 Před 3 lety +2

      @CrazyNights14 there are better ones out there, but I mean the vast majority of newer comics, this is their style.
      Which I can’t blame them. I have used Facebook since I was 14 or 15. I’m 28, I don’t use it anymore myself but I still think in terms of statuses instead of connection with my fellow man.

    • @EuroGuy85
      @EuroGuy85 Před 2 lety

      If you go to Lewis Black’s shows he literally reads off of his tablet

    • @Johnywang1
      @Johnywang1 Před 2 lety +4

      hey man if its that easy for you . u should be a comedian 100%. these people (even the ones u prolly think are bad) work on writing and performing their material for 2-5 years.

    • @oofshapedhuman4974
      @oofshapedhuman4974 Před 2 lety +2

      Oh you mean this is like using Twitter without half the bullshit? Sweet

    • @brycealthoff8092
      @brycealthoff8092 Před 2 lety +3

      Some comedians yeah. But all my favorite comedians are story tellers. That kind of thing doesn’t fit in 240 characters or whatever Twitter is.

  • @noelpiriz9977
    @noelpiriz9977 Před 2 lety +7

    17:15 😂 sounds like the plan I would make when I get paranoid

  • @tylerhackner9731
    @tylerhackner9731 Před 3 lety +55

    Bet this’ll be relatable to me eventually lol

  • @nyrsheaw.arcticcircleart4026

    After you get back from disposing of the phone in every toilet, you find out that there is thing called the cloud and your video is still out there!🤣

  • @johnpossum556
    @johnpossum556 Před 3 lety +15

    20+ surgeries here. Yeah, my body is a joke.

    • @avidnongetit8710
      @avidnongetit8710 Před rokem +2

      Cancer 3x I joke with my family about how I look great above the shirt...but Frankenstein without it... Thank you God for giving me perspective and a sense of humor

  • @Sylverminx
    @Sylverminx Před 3 lety +20

    Lol Patton is hilarious.

  • @danieljob3184
    @danieljob3184 Před 2 lety +17

    That last bit was hilarious, especially when you realise most modern smartphones save straight to the Cloud!

    • @biancaperry34
      @biancaperry34 Před rokem +1

      Unless you’re cloud is always full because you refuse to pay for more storage

    • @JargonMadjin
      @JargonMadjin Před rokem

      Cloud is both a blessing and a curse

    • @typacsk
      @typacsk Před 10 měsíci

      I learned that from Josh Wolf!

  • @Bailemos888
    @Bailemos888 Před rokem +4

    There should be a word find as after 50 our memory start dwindling.

  • @scholargrrl
    @scholargrrl Před 3 lety +12

    Tiffany Haddish is goals!!!

  • @TekkaSage
    @TekkaSage Před 3 lety +28

    Video should be titled: Middle aged men transitioning to being old.

    • @himdotcom
      @himdotcom Před 2 lety +1

      I understand your point, but there were some women in it as well.

    • @branon6565
      @branon6565 Před 2 lety

      There were more women in this vid than there were men, so your comment is null and void....

  • @marvandthe4topz
    @marvandthe4topz Před 2 lety +18

    I started eating eating adult cereal when I was at my sisters and instead of going for all the sugar ones she had for the kids I ate the one my BIL had that was a mix of shredded wheat oatmeal squares and bran, no raisins. I actually enjoyed it.

  • @TheUnatuber
    @TheUnatuber Před 3 lety +7

    More Romano Required. (A pinch more Maron, as well.)

  • @bulldogvillan
    @bulldogvillan Před 3 lety +19

    Picture of Patton Oswalt "I was running the clock out on my wife"

  • @Amarideout
    @Amarideout Před 2 lety +4

    From Frosted flakes to Wheat germ. Smh it is very sad😢

  • @edithdlp8045
    @edithdlp8045 Před 2 lety +2

    6:05 I was born in 1975 and did get to use shoulder pads when I was only 12.

  • @adamfitz1102
    @adamfitz1102 Před 3 lety +16

    My knees click when I bend them. So I'm there bud. 29. Not young. But not old

    • @mattysheehan9786
      @mattysheehan9786 Před 3 lety

      Have you injured your knees in the past 10 years? My brothers knees have clicked for as long as I can remember, he’s 30, but he’s had surgery to remove cartilage, yet it still clicks, but I don’t think he has much pain in them. You may have an inury!

    • @butterflymorning1904
      @butterflymorning1904 Před 2 lety

      29? Baby you're still at the good part!

  • @JD-dh7bk
    @JD-dh7bk Před 2 lety

    Tiffany & Urzila lmfao

  • @sweetpea775
    @sweetpea775 Před 11 měsíci

    She said soo I sat down n started watching it like it was a movie 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 💀

  • @mwobobiasroundup
    @mwobobiasroundup Před 2 lety +2

    I am 40...I relate to all this

  • @DK-xw5hp
    @DK-xw5hp Před 3 lety +13

    Damn I’m so early I get to find out if netflix looks at the comments.

  • @ellaeadig263
    @ellaeadig263 Před rokem

    "WHY AM I FUCKING YOU, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING ME" rofl

  • @irenesambe
    @irenesambe Před 3 lety +2

    I love this...

  • @Diesel257
    @Diesel257 Před 3 lety +23

    Maybe don't put "I was running the clock out on my wife" next to a comedian with a dead wife.

    • @himdotcom
      @himdotcom Před 2 lety +5

      I caught that as well. I don't think whomever created the compilation knew.

  • @JuanRamosNCWrestling
    @JuanRamosNCWrestling Před 2 lety +1

    Dude took the eight count during sex 🤣

  • @feliciabet-hormoz8950
    @feliciabet-hormoz8950 Před 2 lety

    Yes please

  • @fyrewolf7805
    @fyrewolf7805 Před 2 lety +3

    netflix=joke
    body=joke
    netflix=body?

  • @Scribe13013
    @Scribe13013 Před 3 lety +3

    My body strong like iron

  • @easyrecipesanddeliciousfoo2954

    💖🌸🌷🌺

  • @marjenkins1521
    @marjenkins1521 Před rokem +2

    OMG my mom dressed my prissy too! I hated it! I just wanted to be comfortable. Horrible shoulder pads and sleeves I'm the middle of short and long! I hated it. She thought I was gay because I just wanted to be comfortable. I'm bi actually 😆

  • @PetfaxTV
    @PetfaxTV Před 2 lety +1

    I heard that Aussie accent and almost closed the app cuz I thought it was a Hannah Gadsby New Zealand accent.

  • @gimmethegreenbacks
    @gimmethegreenbacks Před 2 lety +4

    Jebadia

  • @theshadowreaper2986
    @theshadowreaper2986 Před rokem

    Once a Uber driver saw me, my mom said sister and thought I was my mom’s parent lol I’m not even 30 yet

  • @Amarideout
    @Amarideout Před 2 lety +1

    😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣

  • @hereforit9761
    @hereforit9761 Před 3 lety +3

    Is that the kid from Bad Santa?

  • @77zrod46
    @77zrod46 Před rokem +1

    I didnt know Ralphy Mae had a comedian sister. Lol

  • @KibsAnimeshans
    @KibsAnimeshans Před 2 lety +1

    so we all just skipping past the guy who played Manny from ice age is a comedian?

    • @AirWindFire
      @AirWindFire Před 2 lety

      We knew. Most people would credit Ray Romano with Everybody Loves Raymond though.

    • @JargonMadjin
      @JargonMadjin Před rokem

      @@AirWindFire Bro, I'm in my early 20s and I knew him from ELR first, still a good show

  • @christopherstafford6442

    Tiffany handing can get it

  • @RECTALBURRITO
    @RECTALBURRITO Před 2 lety

    I think I'm a hypochondriac now.

  • @kanedaku
    @kanedaku Před 2 lety +3

    Please employ a professional who can process your audio goddammit.

  • @shekriptic2851
    @shekriptic2851 Před 3 lety +5

    Cry more eat less 🤣

  • @dalriadajohannsen
    @dalriadajohannsen Před 2 lety

    ✊🏼

  • @FrancHoopsandBlox
    @FrancHoopsandBlox Před rokem

    That was a funny joke stop trying to turn it

  • @reesej1384
    @reesej1384 Před 3 lety +8

    I'm in the clip and I don't like it

  • @efisgpr
    @efisgpr Před 2 lety

    12:24
    🍑

  • @mhhmm7069
    @mhhmm7069 Před 3 lety +1

    F

  • @novellalesli2018
    @novellalesli2018 Před 3 lety +2

    The tearful node neuroanatomically tow because look bodily replace towards a tacit cereal. cold, therapeutic cuticle

    • @xoxoshaneandmexoxo
      @xoxoshaneandmexoxo Před 2 lety

      What do these comments mean!! Are they algorithm feeders?????

  • @sweetpea775
    @sweetpea775 Před 11 měsíci

    👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @coleisright1125
    @coleisright1125 Před 2 lety +4

    That first bit was joe Biden to a T

  • @TheMan2030
    @TheMan2030 Před rokem +1

    It doesnt even sound good ha

  • @nezaramovha3640
    @nezaramovha3640 Před 3 lety +4

    Early

  • @nicholasrobinfant3295

    Born pregnant, cactus thing, C-section, amputation, wished I could have dreamt longer.
    Hit by truck, age 17, pig heart, ape lungs, boa gut, cow stomach's. Age 27, blew self, 4 ribs removed. I was made to fail since birth.

  • @fredgardner2870
    @fredgardner2870 Před rokem

    Joe Biden approved

  • @fredgardner2870
    @fredgardner2870 Před rokem

    18 wasted minute's...

  • @fredgardner2870
    @fredgardner2870 Před rokem +1

    Nothing funny about pat Oswald

  • @DAKESIS17
    @DAKESIS17 Před 2 lety

    It was good until the Godzilla ending.

  • @Semper_Iratus
    @Semper_Iratus Před 3 lety +6

    Sterilized corporate comedy.

  • @fredgardner2870
    @fredgardner2870 Před rokem

    Sucks

  • @johnbalk6091
    @johnbalk6091 Před 3 lety +1

    3:06 Holy shit, is Patton wearing fucking skinny jeans?? Oh dear God in heaven no, please no. Patton, buddy, stop. Just , please stop.

  • @carlrogueofficial
    @carlrogueofficial Před 2 lety +2

    These comedians are not funny!

  • @korpakukac
    @korpakukac Před rokem +1

    Can someone recommend a female comedian who is actually funny?

  • @fredgardner2870
    @fredgardner2870 Před rokem

    Haddish.. does she speak English?

  • @conanobrien1
    @conanobrien1 Před 3 lety +1

    Who goes and pay a ticket to watch Urzila Carlson? Not funny at all.

  • @earlofcockgobblingshire3666

    Hearing people who've given up on being good looking is always depressing. Idk why i watched this