Narcissist Manipulation. How to shut down a narcissist

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  • čas přidán 21. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 115

  • @alishabates6
    @alishabates6 Před 4 lety +20

    It’s incredible how textbook these people are and how they behave, I’m still finding myself 2 years after leaving this kind of relationship. These people are incredibly damaging on a whole other level. I totally lost my own identity and I find it very difficult to trust my own intuition now, which I felt was a very strong trait of mine before I met this guy. Thank you for your great video, awareness like this can really save lives x

  • @lisalombardo6753
    @lisalombardo6753 Před 5 lety +48

    Thank you so much for validating the things I’m experiencing. Working on my exit strategy. God bless all of us.

  • @poetryjones7946
    @poetryjones7946 Před 5 lety +43

    26:48 How to shut down a narcissist.
    I did exactly this - you have to play as if it were a chess game against a worthy opponent. Plan for the very worst, hope for the best. Pretending weakness throws them off guard, it works great.

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +6

      It is like a chess game, I agree

    • @user-zm9yc2kb8x
      @user-zm9yc2kb8x Před 5 lety +3

      why would you play games with them..if you can get away just go..

    • @Jezebel066
      @Jezebel066 Před 5 lety +5

      0121 bc they usually make you dependent on them. I’m married to one again. I told myself I would never let myself be put in this situation again. I thought he was different. We would always be together. Now I have no job. No friends. No car in my name bc we refinanced in his name only. No bank account has my name on it even. At least in my first marriage I was on the account.

    • @edibeedee
      @edibeedee Před 4 lety +5

      @@user-zm9yc2kb8x sometimes getting away is not immediately possible so you have to use stratagies to survive until you can leave!

    • @candice446
      @candice446 Před 4 lety +2

      0121 Parenting with one is another reason why

  • @MrClintL
    @MrClintL Před 5 lety +22

    Identify them and get rid of them!

  • @heyhey11793
    @heyhey11793 Před 4 lety +16

    I feel like I’m surrounded by them 😭. I need a cleanse.

    • @charlottenrgaard7942
      @charlottenrgaard7942 Před 2 lety +1

      yup me too.. Im so depressed because I see all treat everyone else so nice and me like crap..

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 Před 5 lety +17

    Thank you for Sharing
    For Over Four Yrs I Was
    Emotionally Manipulated
    Belittled..I Was Conditioned
    To Feel Guilt.The More Abuse
    He Did The More I Chased This Person For Validation.Narcissits Are Masters Of Manipulation.

    • @poetryjones7946
      @poetryjones7946 Před 5 lety +9

      My narcissist was (in addition to being violent) a pornography addict. When I left him he began spreading rumors about me, the vilest things he could think up - including “my” addiction to porn! 😂
      I later became friends with the next ex-wife ( he had 4)
      When she discovered his massive stash of porn movies, magazines & photos he claimed they were mine. She asked him why he kept them and he made up several different stories about that - she said that event was what made her realize she’d married a psycho. They can be incredibly charming, because they’re master actors. You are not alone. It’s easier than one thinks to be fooled by a malignant narcissist. I hope things are better for you now. 🙏🏼❤️

    • @demigaines5644
      @demigaines5644 Před 5 lety +7

      @@poetryjones7946
      Thank You So
      Very Much You Are
      Absolutely Right They
      Are Master Manipulators.
      I Struggle Daily With Going No Contact..I Already have A
      Month of No Contact 😥

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +3

      I hope you are free now

    • @demigaines5644
      @demigaines5644 Před 5 lety +2

      Vivian McGrath
      I Am Just Still
      Dealing with Depression

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +1

      @@demigaines5644 If you need help and support for that there is no shame in it. I’ve listed some free and anonymous helplines here: www.vivianmcgrath.com/domestic-violence-resources/

  • @debhadden205
    @debhadden205 Před 5 lety +15

    I don't think this is too long. All very good information. Thank you!

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +2

      Awesome thank you! I always speak off the top of my head so can go on a bit ha ha

  • @Jezebel066
    @Jezebel066 Před 5 lety +11

    My husband is my Prince Charming. He’s also the biggest monster I’ve ever known, but only when we’re alone.
    All the games he plays. I’m so happy that I see it now. I spent a year trying to change. To make him happy. But I just can’t make him happy! Hes always mad. Then when I point out he’s acting differently, he’ll tell me I’ve been mad at HIM!!
    He will love me so deeply. Then ignore me. When I ask why, he tells me I’m starting a fight. If he doesn’t spend time with me at all for weeks, I’m needy. I have to always let him know where I’m at, when I got there, when I leave. And all I do is go to the grocery store lately. But if I ask him if he made it somewhere ok, I’m controlling. It doesn’t make any sense. I pray the Lord can help him.

    • @aundreadalrymple714
      @aundreadalrymple714 Před 4 lety

      🙏🙏🙏

    • @katielove783
      @katielove783 Před 4 lety

      I hope you left

    • @mimiyogini
      @mimiyogini Před 4 lety +1

      What really is going on there is that he is making you more and more addicted to the highs and lows so you are hooked to him so between he can use you as punching bag but there will b a time he is so bored that he will triangulate you with someone else and cheat spectacularly! Good luck with your self as he is disintegrating the core of you whilst you are entertaining the idea of finding how to fix him, there is no cure just get ready because one way or another he won’t only just destroy the marriage he will destroy you to friends family and you to you !

    • @Illuminatiownsus
      @Illuminatiownsus Před 4 lety

      You need to divorce the person someday. Don’t be an enabler for the rest of your life. Even if life will be harder, I would say it won’t be harder than eternal emotional abuse 👌

  • @marlynberry5482
    @marlynberry5482 Před 5 lety +9

    Head over heart isolation and mental health struggles makes leaving feel so impossible

  • @lynnem1948
    @lynnem1948 Před 4 lety +2

    I will be 70 years old next year, and I am only just discovering what has been wrong with me all those years.Thanks to an excellent, deeply invested counsellor, I am finally seeing reality. Her counsel and guidance, support and encouragement, have brought me to the point of detaching myself from the person who gave birth to me, so as to have space to be free to take care of myself and enjoy just being. me No longer going round and round in my head with the confusing, demeaning programming planted in my mind by my birth person, who left this world over 20 years ago, but her dreadful talk remained here, strong, alive and kicking in my head. . Far too detailed and complex to go into here, but I finally have hope of continuing to find joy as I learn to live differently. If you are struggling but can't find a way to express or pin down exactly what is wrong inside you., your head, or how your memories don't add up or make sense, KEEP PUSHING. DON'T GIVE UP. FIND THE PERSON WHO CAN HELP YOU SEE CLEARLY AND BEGIN TO FREE YOURSELF FROM THE AWFUL BURDEN LEFT ON YOUR SHOULDERS. I wish you well. You are worth it.

  • @wiseherb1426
    @wiseherb1426 Před 4 lety +8

    I didn’t really realize how fortunate I was to get away from my ex until you said 2 women are killed every week by these people

  • @jhint61
    @jhint61 Před 5 lety +10

    Great take.... !
    Please do not forget it is about 50/50 ratio
    Of female to male narcissists

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +3

      Yes, I agree, narcissism doesn't discriminate. Males are victims too. Thank you for reminding us.

  • @marietjieluyt7619
    @marietjieluyt7619 Před 4 lety +2

    Ma'am, you don't talk too much. Your description of the narc is spot on.
    Been there, done that.

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 4 lety +2

      No need to call me Ma'am and thank you for your kind words.

  • @catealexander2293
    @catealexander2293 Před 5 lety +6

    This is an excellent video.
    Thank you for your expertise.

  • @EatFruitBeHappy
    @EatFruitBeHappy Před 5 lety +5

    Thank you! Exactly the info I needed today.

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety

      I'm so glad to hear it. Thanks for watching

  • @steffidoc
    @steffidoc Před 4 lety +1

    I really like your videos. You’re a very professional speaker, structured and articulate.

  • @lunallena1588
    @lunallena1588 Před 2 lety

    So many women in the relationship situation you describe. It's especially painful to watch someone in such a situation while they appear oblivious to what is going on.
    Y

  • @NarcissisticAbuseRehab
    @NarcissisticAbuseRehab Před 5 lety +4

    It’s so important to journal and keep a record of EVERYTHING 📝 No contact is best 🚷

  • @maryheaster2784
    @maryheaster2784 Před 5 lety +7

    Best info ever thanks

  • @shucksdelwas9658
    @shucksdelwas9658 Před 4 lety

    WOW ! This was exactly like my ex. From stalking my social media for a year (while I was in another relationship which he disrespected), mirroring, lying, moving in quickly, cheating, manipulating, and gas lighting. All of it. I learned a lot after that relationship.

  • @jane-ew2jh
    @jane-ew2jh Před 4 lety +1

    More than michelle nieves i liked hearing u u answered everything in one go keep it up

  • @rachelles2586
    @rachelles2586 Před 3 lety

    Loving your content. Thank you! Im 2 days in no contact with ex..very hard. To make it worse he is a NPD with a photographic memory.. very dangerous.

  • @debb.3857
    @debb.3857 Před 3 lety

    Thanks for the video

  • @josje26
    @josje26 Před 3 lety

    I cannot help but thinking about Harry potter and that chest when opened is going to let put whatever your biggest fear is.

  • @MegaHealer
    @MegaHealer Před 5 lety +3

    Great video and beautiful lipstick 😋

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +1

      Haha thank you! I am big on lippie and big on earrings too!

    • @MegaHealer
      @MegaHealer Před 5 lety

      Vivian McGrath ❤️

  • @jhint61
    @jhint61 Před 5 lety +3

    No contact after discard is key

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety

      I agree.

    • @user-zm9yc2kb8x
      @user-zm9yc2kb8x Před 5 lety +1

      for some that is not an option..

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +1

      @@user-zm9yc2kb8x True. If not, then try to keep all emotion out of any discussion. Stick to facts, logistics (such as where and when to pick up a child) and keep any conversation brief. Document any breaches of court orders meticulously and report if necessary.

  • @Alaska-me5jc
    @Alaska-me5jc Před 5 lety

    Thank you. You are very knowledgeable. I appreciate your channel.

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety

      Thank you. I just speak from experience of it

  • @maisumsobreviventedeabuson5277

    My former boyfriend destroyed my life and career...12 years after we finished (he discarded me) he’s still stalking me and destroying and ruining my life.

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir Před 4 lety

    Very powerful tips ❤️

  • @truthteller1973
    @truthteller1973 Před 2 lety

    Get away from these creeps ..I removed my mother, sister and ex husband they l ock me up and tried to kill me 🙏🙏better stay in prayer ..They need a law for Narcissism

  • @ninanickel3103
    @ninanickel3103 Před 4 lety

    I’ve lost everything. Just yesterday I had started a job so I could go to school to be a teacher next I know if I try to go for two jobs somehow one lets me go. This last job I was literally lied about and cameras would’ve shown that. Yet somehow I was supposed to take accountability for something I hadn’t done. 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 Před 5 lety +2

    I Love Your Videos
    I Love How You Explain
    The Meaning Of A Narcissists.
    I Have Been Given The Silent Treatment
    For Over A Year BeCause I Promised The
    Narcissists Money And I Changed My Mind
    BeCause Of His Abuse.He Went I Rage And
    Discarded Me.He a Has Conditioned Me To
    Feel Guilt...Can You Please Give Me Some
    Advice

    • @smbensli
      @smbensli Před 5 lety +1

      Go no contact unless u want to continue their games and brain washing you. This is the best advice bc nothing else works with them . Its either you in or your out. Either your their slave or not! Good luck

    • @demigaines5644
      @demigaines5644 Před 5 lety +2

      touta Thank
      You So Very
      Much

    • @user-zm9yc2kb8x
      @user-zm9yc2kb8x Před 5 lety

      it will only end when you stop it..stay strong

    • @jackieellison4596
      @jackieellison4596 Před 4 lety

      Demetria Gaines get out if you can

  • @buffalogal8272
    @buffalogal8272 Před 5 lety +4

    Never telegraph your moves.

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +1

      No never.

    • @poetryjones7946
      @poetryjones7946 Před 5 lety +7

      Exactly!
      I studied my narcissist carefully once I realized he was a sick person & I needed to leave. By keeping detached & developing a secret, trustworthy support system, I began discovering how strangely easy it was to turn his craziness to my own advantage.
      Free yourself, and for the love of god, don’t just jump into another relationship! Stay alone for at least a year - learn to know and befriend your self!

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +3

      @@poetryjones7946 Perfect advice. Stay still within yourself and learn to love yourself first.

    • @poetryjones7946
      @poetryjones7946 Před 5 lety +3

      Vivian McGrath Yeah! Man, that was the shock discovery through all this nightmare - that when I learned to approve of myself it gave me this sort of superpower! Weird but true!

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +2

      @@poetryjones7946 It is a superpower. Such a simple, incredible secret that unlocks everything. I'm glad you've found it too

  • @Huskinmatt
    @Huskinmatt Před 3 lety

    My mother is a narcissistic... she’s groomed me to have no self worth...met a guy who’s a Drug dealer... guess what... he’s exactly like
    My mom... completely predatory narcissist.... fronted me drugs... uses the debt to control when I broke from the addictive substance ... so completely out of control of my life... exit strategy planned... dozens of failed attempts... trying to do my homework this time... please pray for me - please help- I’m so scared I will never know myself

    • @Cyanpickypig
      @Cyanpickypig Před 3 lety

      Your learning now and that's the important thing! Remember your in control not them.

  • @summerrosebush2325
    @summerrosebush2325 Před 4 lety +1

    Me realizing at 4am I’ve moved 2900 miles away to a different country and now am living with a narcissist, have no job, no where to go and can’t afford to go home:
    👁👄👁

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 4 lety +1

      If you need help and support to work through this I’ve listed some free and anonymous helplines here: www.vivianmcgrath.com/domestic-violence-resources/

    • @summerrosebush2325
      @summerrosebush2325 Před 4 lety

      Vivian McGrath thank you so much, i appreciate it ♥️ and thank you for your video as well. it’s helped me realize so much.

  • @maryfowles807
    @maryfowles807 Před 5 lety +1

    If you are a normal
    Person let’s call us... lol 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @beren1223
    @beren1223 Před 4 lety +1

    Thankful that modern women will not have to put up with men in personal relationships. We can master bate without being judged and go to a sperm bank. Day care centers will be state funded for women who prefer to work outside the home, or base living provided by big government for moms who want to remain with their child(ren) at all times.

  • @kellyyork3898
    @kellyyork3898 Před 3 lety

    Thank you for this video. Are you a board certified psychologist or psychiatrist?

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 3 lety +1

      Better than that. I have actually lived through this. Almost murdered by my ex when 7 months pregnant and broke the toxic cycle for me and my son: www.vivianmcgrath.com/i-am-enough/

    • @kellyyork3898
      @kellyyork3898 Před 3 lety

      You speak as if you are very learned on this topic. : )

  • @catone_atelier
    @catone_atelier Před 4 lety

    Does anyone have tips on how an ESTJ (stubborn and Mr. Right) pacifist can leave or protect themselves from a female covert narcissist?

  • @taylormeyers7372
    @taylormeyers7372 Před 4 lety

    Should I have my kids around a narcissist mother? I don’t know what the right thing to do is because that’s their grandmother, someone special.

    • @katarinatibai8396
      @katarinatibai8396 Před 4 lety +2

      Dont do that - your children will hate you later for that.
      A narcissist is a abuser, just remember every rotten syc thing that she done to you...
      Do you really want that for your childern ?
      There's no special person - no mather who it is - a abuser is a abuser and you have to protect your childern from abuse.

    • @taylormeyers7372
      @taylormeyers7372 Před 4 lety

      @@katarinatibai8396 Thank you for responding! I appreciate you.

  • @dottyp137
    @dottyp137 Před 3 lety

    Isn’t empathy about understanding other’s emotions?

  • @mickeymorgan
    @mickeymorgan Před 4 lety

    In my experience, this describes the monk teacher/female student of Tibetan Buddhism. I'm great at crawling on my knees. Over $10,000 in 10 years from this poverty-level person . . .

  • @osajohnson1957
    @osajohnson1957 Před 4 lety +2

    18:20 or he will hurt the pets to get you out of the hotel you're hiding in.

  • @bobbailey318
    @bobbailey318 Před 3 lety

    Psycho narcissist have v2k and r n m so there's no stopping them and there's nothing you can do about them anymore the bottom line is it's Doomsday.

  • @fangcheck9141
    @fangcheck9141 Před 5 lety +1

    they are FREAKS ?

  • @jogargus1277
    @jogargus1277 Před 4 lety

    agtrr

  • @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023
    @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023 Před 5 lety +5

    Mistitled - waste of time

    • @Unbeatable
      @Unbeatable  Před 5 lety +7

      Thanks for your feedback

    • @jenrich111
      @jenrich111 Před 4 lety +2

      So rude of you. If you didn't identify or whatever just move on!

    • @gillymac9363
      @gillymac9363 Před 4 lety

      @@Unbeatable Thanks for your work & exemplary reply to the above criticism. Girl you got grace! x

    • @BamaSquirrel
      @BamaSquirrel Před 4 lety +2

      Catherine identifies as a narcissist 🤪😂

    • @almamyers5259
      @almamyers5259 Před 3 lety

      @@jenrich111 must be a narcissist commenting that.. so just ignore them just like Vivian did 😄