Trans partner: What happens to your relationship?

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  • čas přidán 11. 09. 2024

Komentáře • 15

  • @saraannefay2196
    @saraannefay2196 Před 2 lety +4

    I look forward to Sunday mornings and your videos. They’re always interesting, cute and fun. They resonate with me as a trans person, of course, and they enrich my life in too many ways to describe here. Thank you!
    I have a trans story that I’d like to share. It’s a coming out story of sorts. I am a transgender woman. I have been transitioning MTF for more than 7 years. I don’t pass very well, but that’s not my goal in life at the moment. People are not so observant, nor do they really care about your story. They are too wrapped up in their own lives to look up and see rest of the world, until they are forced to by external circumstance.
    Yesterday I renewed my membership at Costco after a long time away. Costco’s a buying collective, for those that don’t know. I was there to purchase a set of tires for my daughter’s car, and I had to renew my membership first In order to purchase the tires. Costco uses your driver’s license number to look up your membership status. Of course so much time had passed that I was a completely different person…new name and gender. I explained that I had changed my name, but I didn’t volunteer any of my gender history. Not that I was reluctant to do so. I like to talk about it. It was more my assessment of the person being able to receive the information. There was some confusion and a supervisor had to be called over for an override to the system. No one said anything about my name or my gender. It was weird. They didn’t use my name or gender me at all. I was directed to do this or that in order to complete the renewal process and purchase the new tires, and they did all that without gendering me or using my name. I’ve never encountered such a thing before, but it was okay.
    My hope is that the Costco clerks all went home yesterday with a story to tell about the trans woman with the pretty nail polish they met that day, because my goal in life is to increase trans gender awareness in deeds and/or words.
    Thanks again!

  • @WhitneyMallett-tw4fy
    @WhitneyMallett-tw4fy Před měsícem +1

    Thanks for publishing this information. Religious beliefs can be the biggest problem to overcome. My partner, all her family and friends are devout Catholics. I didn’t expect her to stay with me after I started living authentically. Our relationship has changed - we are married BFFs. She is a heterosexual woman and I’m an AroAce woman. She appreciates the advantages of living with a woman (me) though.

    • @WivesVsWorld
      @WivesVsWorld  Před měsícem

      Aw that's a really beautiful story, though. I'm glad you can continue to love and support each other, even though it's as friends ❤️

  • @joh.9531
    @joh.9531 Před 2 lety +3

    Always such thoughtful talks from the two of you - lovely, thank you

  • @uberraschtedame1510
    @uberraschtedame1510 Před 2 lety +2

    Lovely, I enjoyed your conversation, very charming and insightful. It would be interesting also to hear about how you go about the couple dynamics and gender roles. Anya is looking great lately she is getting better and better at being in front of the camera and showing her lovely personality and beauty, very refreshing. 👍👩‍❤‍👩

  • @acupofcavfefe
    @acupofcavfefe Před 2 měsíci

    this series has helped me a lot girlies... i'm dating a transgirl, who is just about to start her transition. It was a little difficult at first because i met her as a "boy", and my brain was used to it when she told me she was trans. But we've talked a lot, and i love her even more than before now (I used to think she didn't like me because she behaved weird with me, and now that she can be herself around me it all feels more authentic) .
    i still have some trouble with having to talk with her in front of people and use the masc pronouns (because she hasn't come out to many people yet) and it even feels umcomfortable to me when people (specially my parents) ask me some really heteronormative questions (like "so, he likes foot ball?" or "i bet he does x thing because men..."), i ussually dont know how to answer so i ussually say the truth with some "decoratives" on it so people dont suspect and my gf keeps her privacy and feels safe.
    it is still a long journal she just started and we as a couple have a lot to go yet, but i hope we make it through, because i love her very much and im willing to support her in everything♡

    • @WivesVsWorld
      @WivesVsWorld  Před 2 měsíci +1

      You sound like an absolutely amazing partner and I'm so glad she has you ❤️ I resonate with what you say and remember similar stuff from early in Jackie's transition. It's definitely a little painful and a little awkward, but it's okay that it all takes a little while. You're doing amazing, so just keep doing your best and support her in the way you do ❤️ I'm rooting for you both and wish you strength and good luck for the journey to come ✨️

    • @acupofcavfefe
      @acupofcavfefe Před 2 měsíci

      @@WivesVsWorld thank you!!! your words mean a lot for me🧡

  • @tonyhoughton6857
    @tonyhoughton6857 Před rokem

    I came out to my partner last year she listened but said even though she still loved me she could not come to terms with me being the person who I wanted to be. I still loved my partner but the urges and feelings were too strong to resist. So ended my relationship. I was brought up to accept any gender relationship where my wife was brought up man and woman and anything else is wrong. I still miss her because I would have liked to ask her advice on shopping and make up and how to be more feminine. But I am more confident and fulfilled as a person

  • @AlienoidGamer
    @AlienoidGamer Před 2 lety

    I think another level of this is also most people in your life are trying to change how they perceive you and you need to be supportive of them to. You can gently remind them when they make mistakes and they will get it eventually but you cannot force them to change or get angry when they make mistakes because it will erase all progress they make.

  • @maureenpavlik3144
    @maureenpavlik3144 Před 2 lety

    I feel I can comment regarding the part about using "before" pronouns/name with certain people in your life versus using "current" pronouns/name with other people. Transitioning isn't always like a light switch, like one day someone presents as a man and then the next day they are ready to announce to the world they are a woman and want to be addressed by new pronouns and a new name. From seeing various friends of mine who change their pronouns and name, it seems that they will come out in stages, usually first to close friends and maybe family, and then expand the circles of people who know as time goes on (very common for the experience of coming out with sexual orientation too). This may mean that when they are with their friends or at home, they dress more in the style that fits their new gender expression and go by their new name/pronouns, but when they go to work or to their relative's house they go by their old name/pronouns and dress in more cis presenting clothes for a while. As an ally to someone who is going through this transition, it is important to be sensitive to who your friend has come out to so that you don't accidentally out them. This can be tricky. If your it's your partner who is transitioning and they aren't ready for you to tell your parents or coworkers about their new gender expression yet, it's important to recognize that that means you may have to do some mental gymnastics for a while until they're ready for you to switch fully to addressing them as their new names/pronouns in all settings. It's something you may have complicated feelings about, and you should talk those feelings with your partner as Jackie recommended. You may also find support in asking other people in your partner's circle of people trusted with their new identity about how to make sure you don't accidently out them if that's something that worries you. I hope that helps fill in some of the information that Anya wasn't able to relay from her personal experience with Jackie's transition.

    • @acupofcavfefe
      @acupofcavfefe Před 2 měsíci

      this helps me a lot. My partner is starting transition, and just a few people aside of me know. It gets hard when my parents adress her as "him", and make gendered questions, because for me, I am dating a girl, but i can't tell them yet because i cant out her. So i tend to "decorate" some stories and be always thinking the pronouns i use so i can show them i have a loving relationship without outing her

  • @allwinds3786
    @allwinds3786 Před 2 lety

    The Dance of the sugar plumb ferries from the "Nutcracker"? Was the Nutcracker a conscious choice?

  • @irinaatanasova5270
    @irinaatanasova5270 Před 2 lety +3

    I want to be with a trans girl but I want to be with someone who had already come out as trans before meeting me 😊

  • @dai5061
    @dai5061 Před 2 lety

    Hi 😄 what a beautiful girls😍😍😲 thank you for the video👍