Do You Believe In Arranged Marriages? Chris Ibezim from "Ready To Love" and His Sister Shares All
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2023
- Many cultures believe in arranged marriages. There are huge benefits to this practice, but many aren't willing to submit their choices of love to the discretion of their parents. Chris Ibezim from Own's "Ready to Love - Dallas" and his sister, Olivia Ibezim, share their Nigerian beliefs and why an arranged marriage doesn't work for them.
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The part when he said, our sister is our responsibility until she gets married 🙌🏾. Omg that is powerful
I can only imagine how our culture would be in America if they (black men) had that mindset.
I told a friend that because he has to cover his siblings and mother is his priority. I think it would be hard for us. I couldn't fathom him prioritizing Me over them w/o stretching himself thin. He picks up their slack so much.
That's beautiful ❤️
@@Charice281at the risk of sounding selfishly; I couldn't do it!
Actually my family (we are not nigerian) however we were raised like that, who are their parents, where do they work all of that, it's biblical, ppl call it culture. I believe most women don't mind being submissive if he leads like the lord says so! Great episode
I once dated an native African man, who came to the states to work as an Engineer. Absolutely the best man I have ever, ever dated. I hated to walk away and lose him. But, I had my tubes tied and could not give him children. Finally I told him. It was sad. And though we continued to see one another for a few more months. I let him go to find his Queen who would give him his babies. I thought about him a lot over the years. I thank him for showing me what a real man looks like’
Whoooo!!!!! Loved your testimony.
You couldn’t get it reversed or you didn’t want anymore kids ?
My hubby is a Nija man. Been together 12 years. He is NOT controlling, but does expect respect. I also expect to be loved. We both submit to Christ and each other.
🙌🏽
This episode was so needed. As a foreign black woman watching the dating foolishness in society today is exhausting. I dated a gentleman from the states and he was shocked when I told him I couldn’t go out with him and definitely can’t say yes to being his girlfriend until he met my brothers. He thought my being a divorced mom of two meant open season. no sir.😏 come correct or leave me in my singleness with my peace of mind be. I highly respect and value my brothers’ input. Thank you very much.
@slandynoel99 I wish my brothers and dad was involved in my choices as well. I truly enjoyed this video.
Correct; I agree they be thinking life is a joke.
@belltowndaisy yes. You’re correct, darling. Thank you!
I’m not Nigerian but I’m definitely about to adopt some of the culture around vetting my daughters future husband.
I love this. I believe when men see there is no "gate keeper" they destroy a woman because no one has vetted him and he knows there are no men in her life that will hold him accountable.. I have to rely on God to vet my purpose partner because i don't have that kind of system. Lord i pray that all the single women who have no covering submit all their relationships to you, in Jesus name 🙏
@@AugLaz2 We must be careful and not end up with men like our fathers. He has no idea the damage that a non supportive parent can do to a child, no matter the age. Yes God will ve there for you. Blessings ❤️
Amen! Even my boyfriend told me this and he's white. The primarily commonality is that we are both Christians first and we take the word of God seriously, but we also want to be respectful of my parents and our Nigerian culture.
This idea of men being your covering as a servant of Christ is unbiblical and it’s actually idolatory. Not to say that husbands can’t be a covering, and of course they can provide a level of protection, but single women in Christ aren’t any less covered than married women in Christ just because they don’t have an earthly husband. We have the GREAT Shield and Protector that is mightier in battle than any army. Why are many of us calling ourselves “Christians” yet we say we’re unprotected unless we have a husband? When did a mortal man become a better protector than God Almighty? Why are we so comfortable slapping Jehovah Magen in the face?
As a woman who unfortunately grew up without male protection and provision, I agree. I understand that had there been men in my life (father, brother, uncle) I would have made better decisions when allowing a man to choose me.
As a Caribbean citizen who lost her traditions to slavery, it was so soul pleasing to meet and learn about Nigerian culture. I love their commitment to family. ❤
@@belltowndaisyain't that the truth 🫢
@@belltowndaisy🤣😂🤣what u saying
there are always exceptions to the rules, this is fundamentally who we are @@belltowndaisy
@@belltowndaisyThank you. This is exactly how I grew up. I know all about that extended family maid life.
I believe there is wisdom in arranged marriages. 🤲🏽👑
The very first marriage recorded was arranged by God as He brought Eve to Adam. It is very important for a wife to speak to the Spirit of God that is within a man vs the king that is in the man because He who is in him is greater than he who is in the world! As long as God is the foundation of the marriage & He remains in the center, it will stand the test of time....
Not me thinking they were married in the beginning 😂🙈 Minutes in and I’m already learning so much ❤ Loved Chris on Ready to Love, he stayed true to his values 🙏🏾 Such beautiful people on today fam🇳🇬
Thought so too
Mee too 😂😂😂😂
Right. I was like, "is he gonna get in trouble with ready to love by announcing this?". Lol
😂😂😂 I'm glad I wasn't the only one. I thought him and his mother came to her in college. Until she said he was an infant when their father died.
Samesey 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Now I understand what he was referring to on RTL about knowing how to "handle him." It takes a level of self-control to be meek in character and speak to others with kindness. There's nothing wrong with being a strong woman, making boss moves, but how you speak to others makes the world of difference.
Great interview, Laterras. I hope Chris meets the woman who fits well in his family and most importantly, who is aligned with God's plan for them both.
A woman's voice and attitude is automatically humbled when she feels loved and protected. If she feels used and abused her masculine side manifests
This is SO INTERESTING. The concept is foreign to me ...but the level of respect they have for each other's families/culture is enviable.
I loved Chris on the show. It was refreshing to see a man who has clarity about what he’s looking for and walks in the fullness of who he is. I hope that he finds his good thing. Now his sister… loved her immediately! I hope she knows how much her boldness, strength, and tenacity is a gift. ❤
100%
He's cussing out a woman in the next episode. I didn't care for him.
Did he not match with anyone? Isn’t this journey still going lol
@@kyraalani96 I’m not sure, but based on what his sister was saying, it sounds like he is still single. 🤔
@@lobi5104 Awww… I didn’t see that. How unfortunate. 😬
This was really good and refreshing. I wish African Americans had this culture to rely on
One thing we should have kept!
For the most part, We actually did until the 60s. In small towns, black people still connect with their kids. In wealthier black communities, they definitely align their children to be partnered with a well-vetted family and their children. It’s just a lost practice in the metropolitan areas and for blacks in the lower and middle classes. 🤷🏽♀️
We used to until we fully integrated into white American culture...as MLK said I believe I may have led my people into a burning house. We now see what he meant.
The african american family used to have community, but the government worked double time to destroy the black community.
As a South African, I can relate to the part about "the village"; though it has been lost over the generations due to inter-culture marriages so the vetting is not what it used to be. I love the family dynamic these two come from; you can just see how strong it is and how proud they are of their culture- we need more of this. Loved this episode. Side note- Chris is 40 WHERE??
As much as I'm in love with black love. I'm really beginning to believe that arranged marriages may help some women choose men.
I agree. I tried this as an adult with my moms friend son after being advised not to. He came from a completely different household, values were different, morals and all
Amen, it takes a village
It's good for both sexes as men are pressured or expected from childhood to build a home, not just have a bunch of outside babies indefinitely
@@changetocome100I agree, I'm thinking if we started arranging marriages in The West it would be more of a family centered culture
@@DeeDaKaang1 100%!!!
Brothers in the US need to step up for their sisters. I love that!
This was such an eye opening and intriguing episode. God is arranging my marriage right now.
I'm South African and I get a sense that Olivia exactly represents the "typical African sister-in-law" that can be a nightmare to deal with.
The one who has an inflated sense of their brother and who has no issue meddling in his marital affairs. One who doesn't know where to draw the line or respect boundaries. Where the wife constantly has to prove her worth of being part of the family. ✌️
They really need to go to their village to find him a wife. She’ll understand their family dynamics and fall in line sharp sharp. I don’t believe they should think of other cultures for their perfect bloodline.
Is this the same Chris that cursed the lady out on the show "Ready to love"? I just finished watching the episode. There are also some other alleged aggressive behaviors that he displayed. Allegedly. We should always use discernment and pray for God to show us who people are and not just take things at face value. Anyone can talk a good game, but God exposes the true spirit behind it if we ask him to.
Yes, the same Chris.
40! Here I am thinking he about 27-30. Baby black really don’t crack
Same !! I was so shocked when he said 40. He carries his age very well
Wait what? I’m thinking he’s my age😮.
Said the same thing!😂
The episode was amazing. I’m kind of confused about the age thing as well. He mentioned when his mom passed he was around 27 and then mentioned the year 2019 at 34:25. He looks great at 40!
When the sister loves the brother as much as she does, that is a beautiful thing. Great episode. I love their expectations and dedication ❤️ 💛
As a former foster child I'm so happy to see this. I believe on adoption also. This is beautiful. ❤❤❤
The Power of submission is just to get under the mission and do your part in making it work ❤❤💜💜
I needed this
Agree. Unfortunately a lot of african american men don't know or act according to this which is why we push back so much. If they were to say and move like Chris I guarantee more would fall in line.
@@perdybirdie It comes from a plantation, patriarchal mentality. If our people would do their work and heal, it could be so different. ❤❤💜💜
Nigerian woman of a certain age here. My very Nigerian mother has not stopped handing my number out to Nigerian men I would NEVER talk to and forever trying to hook me up with them. It’s truly infuriating. But I try to give her grace because that’s the perspective she grew up from. Nigerians try to put a respectability factor on women being married. I had a cousin express her concern about me not being married. It’s annoying because we all have innate value. But they will not force someone upon me.
My Liberian mother tried to hook me up with a pastor. I told her I am not equipped to be no one's first lady😂
They can be overbearing 😂but honestly also, God can work through anything
He said he had to be a man worthy of her submission ❤🙌🏾❤️🙌🏾❤️🙌🏾✝️✝️✝️
Love this sibling duo!! When Olivia started talking about how you have to be heslthy Spiritually and how she and her sister are able to discern and do that with their brother's girlfriends, I was like Yes Ma'am!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’ve been the rebellious son of this same dynamic, being a Nigerian man born in the US, from a state not common for immigrants to land in. This has given me a perspective that I’ve always generally understood, but not necessarily articulated in this way. I’ve enjoyed the conversation. Thank you all!
This generation needs to listen to their parents more for real. Loved this episode! ✨
I love their relationship between a brother and sister ❤
I’m sorry but Chris needs to come back and answer for that disgusting attack he did to Jessica on the recent episode of Ready To Love. There are men and women like him that give out the nice persona, they come across someone who doesn’t align with their desire and instead of having grace and accepting that’s not their type, they’re threatened and create a false narrative about the person. The moment could be something small of an opposing of views and Chris called Jessica a mean girl. Jessica at least to what was shown,
did nothing to him and if she did, it would’ve been good TV to reveal it. His ex-girlfriend (summarising) said she basically couldn’t do anything dating him. It had to be all about him. He has deep issues, he appeared triggered and unhinged, it didn’t make any sense and was unwarranted. Chris presented on Dear Wifey Podcast like everything was fine and the Ready To Love episode showed that he’s not! Note: this isn’t to attack him but there’s Men and women out there with this toxic mindset and I think it’s a topic to discuss
Yep. And as a comment I made earlier you have to use discernment and not be fooled by these "too good to be true" narratives. When people seem well put together and are always talking a good game about wanting love but swear they can never find it, it's usually a reason why and they are not giving you the full story. It can't always be the other person and not you.
FACTS! I agree, that may be part of the reason why he's still single.
I thought he was the sweetest on "Ready to Love"... I love how he spoke of his mother & how he stood his ground with his wants, needs, & morals! Funny he was on today because my sister & I were just talking about him (& the show🤭) last night!
I love Nigerian culture ❤
Did he get voted off? Where do you watch the show
@perdybirdie it's on the OWN network! As of right now (or from the last episode that was on), I believe he's still there. Those girls would be missing a gem to vote him off.
This has been one of my favorite episodes this season. I love how close & tight knit their family is & how they cover & love one another ❤.. This is a demonstration of love the way God intended it to be amongst family!!!! I’m all for it !
As an african american woman I cant lie this made me somewhat sad. Seeing the wayward way my people have gone, the destruction of single parents homes, baby mama/daddy culture and promotioj of overall degenerate behavior over marriage family and loyalty makes my heart hurt. I wish we kept our family structure and values in place bc we are lost right now. Ive never thought of marrying outside my ethnicity but I may have to. It seems like other culthres are more in line with how I was raised (2 parent home, marry before carry, man is the lead of the christian home, etc.) Because its extremely difficult to find an african american man who believes in it. The majority prefer multiple women (that they cant afford), baby mamas and toxicity I refuse to partake in. The women have let this happen and participate as well so I cant only blame the men. I'm praying I can find a faithful, loyal, protective, provider, kind hearted man of god no matter where. I dont want to give up on my men but i'm definitely more open to other black men ethnicities now. Latino too. Praying for my people that we wake up and start loving each other better. We need more black american male podcasts like this not the foolish ones out.
I'm sorry but the way he spoke to Jessica on Ready to Love (wanting her to dim her light) and the preview of him cussing out a woman is a no for me!
I'm so glad they put emphasis on what it means to be submissive and what it truly means in marriage. There's nothing wrong with being submissive. Just make sure that the person you are being submissive to is worthy enough. May everyone find their worthy person. Let's continue building these kingdoms. Asè!
I agree ❤️
♥️
Do not date/deal with unworthy men!
You can NOT neglect the spiritual 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
40?! He looks so young
Chris is my favorite from the show! He commands the room and makes you naturally submit to him.
Lmaooo You're nuts, this man does none of that
Chris my favorite on the show for many reasons and this made me like him even more 🇳🇬 🙏🏾
I really enjoyed this episode. It gave me insight on the Nigerian culture and how they date. There’s a lot of Africans here in the DFW. Most African men here are looking for wives. I went on dates with a couple and I knew it takes a certain type of woman to be with an African man. I’m currently watching this season of RTL and Chris is a fav of mine. After watching this I’m rooting for him that he finds his Queen.
Girl watch out for them. A lot of them have wives back in Nigeria as well
@@latreswilliams don't tell them, let them learn the hard way. They need to stop romanticizing cultures that they know nothing about.. The bigamy is only the tip of the iceberg. I come from this culture and can tell you that many many many western women end up traumatized after dealing with these knuckleheads.
i saw him on ready to love i knew there was something different ole girl twisting her neck when he asked her to be gentle in her mannerisms lost out!!! Some women so busy being strong but don’t realize what strength is…. it’s knowing your strong and knowing when to bow
My Naija sis and brother, you did ndi igbo and Naija proud 👏🏾 on the show.
From your sista in the UK. Dalu!
40????!!! That man look and sound about 25!
I wish I had brothers, uncles, cousins, like this 😩💔
That is the way it should be in marriage now, it would promote family and community to be in support of one another ❤❤💜💜
As a Ugandan, I absolutely relate to this. I think most folks from Africa have the same family dynamics
As an African, I resonate with some of the points raised. I do however think people are getting blinded by all of this - Chris is not THAT guy. This man is not ready to be a leader of a household, it’s very evident in the way he carried himself throughout the show and how he is carrying himself throughout the interview. His sister is doing all of the talking for him because he cannot. She has more leadership qualities that he does! He seems like the type who will run and tell his sisters all of your marriage issues and she seems like those aunties who will give you hell (if you are African you know about those aunties). He comes across like a spoilt brat
Chris will be an amazing husband. Such an amazing guy. 😊
And handsome lol!
He is definitely handsome!! His manners and standards are top tier!!
I respect arranged marriages. However, they speak of the ideal. I believe the cast system is being left out. There are many women who are married off to abusive men because of poverty. In many villages in Nygeria, women who are poor oftentimes end up in polygamous relationships.
Having a kid out of wedlock as a Nigerian is hard and that’s my journey this far. I’m not married but lost my virginity at 20 and got pregnant that same day. The stares the embarrassment is much. Even had statements of “you gonna work at McDonald’s” you Not gonna graduate etc look at me now Dr student to come 2024 and successful God is Good !!!
I love this episode. I love the family culture,I love the the brothers don't make joke wen coming to there sisters. I love the love they have for each other is real sweet. I wish we had this in our culture. But as u live you learn,we don't have to be repeating our mistakes. Well done L keep up the great work👏🏿♥
The way Cris flipped out on Jess was pulled out from him.. 😭 He meant every word of that!
15:21 Nigeria. Igbo kweenu!! 🇳🇬
As a Pacific Islander, I can relate to the premise of culture and tradition. And I love what these two discussed here in addition to their perspective of submission. This is just beautiful.
Love this episode! As a Nigerian, I totally relate and also repping IMO state 🤩❤️ Their conversation is so refreshing and interesting
I think the thing that confuses me is if his relationship is so strong with the lord
Then should you not go to him concerning your wife? And I enjoy watching ready to love. But if your looking for a Godly woman not sure that’s the place the place to find her.
Love this!! "Submit to the mission" ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love his sister and mixing the bloodline makes all the sense. I have always thought this way as a child. So glad to see im not alone. For the most part, this is the way it should be. So much purpose in this. The sister is very wise and the brother is very beautiful
Someone tell me if he acknowledges that he's an angry chauvinist before I spend time watching this.
Nope! Apparently he's a catch/the prize... according to his sister.
If you want him, you better be worthy and pass the audition/rigorous interview process.
@@verasixishe4393 thanks for letting me know! Definitely won't be watching.
@@lizmclemore739 🤣
Yes great episode, great take on family, y’all have all said that…. But we aren’t going to just leave out that this man is 40 and this woman is 45. They look goodt!!!
I absolutely love this episode. Thank you sis for so eloquently speaking. The love you have for your brother, family..... love it. I know that God will bless your brother with the woman he sees fit. Love it!!!!
I do love how they seem to have each other's back. #strongfamily
Vetting is so important! Values, Morals, Communication, Team! Yes need a plan!
Olivia congrats on your journey to being a wife.......Chris - "When the time is right I the LORD will make it happen"... God Bless yo family values🙏
Beautiful. Loved hearing and witnessing their love for each other as siblings. Best wishes to them both!!
This Started In The BIBLE! GOD ARRANGED MY MARRIAGE! TThings change due to Our Decisions;but, there is A Difference! 💕
I’ve enjoyed the previous seasons, but this season has been on a new level👍🏾❤
I wasn’t arranged to be married but I met my husband through my mom. My mom was hooking me up with her friend’s nephew. I was so irritated at first but my mom told me, “you were dating all these guys who weren’t for you but I really listened to what you said you wanted so he will be contacting you.” Ultimately, God heard my desires. She gave him my number and we talked. Our families go way back to having grandparents growing up together and raising their kids together. I would come to his family events and my family was there. I’m grateful they gave us time to see if we wanted to be together and we eventually tied the knot.
Love that
In the past, arranged marriage is all about family structure support and the right connections. The brides family raised her with feminine and wholesome values needed to raise successful children. The grooms family raised him to be valuable as a man and are supporters of his ability to be a great provider for his created family structure. These family alliances are solid and based on a strong foundation of family success. Often is based around religion, some belief system and/or comparable economic contributions to the marriage. You can fall in love with someone who treats you well. I think in the black community where theres a high rate of divorce and fatherless children, and too many children born out of wed lock is disrurbing and it's results are deteriorating the culture.
God is still in the marriage arrangement business.
Lateres, do not delete what is sensible. You submit to your parents when you are a child. An adult make their own decisions. Ok
As a Nigerian woman i resonate well with this topic. Though i have a different point of view, in most cases, arranged marriages are for selfish reasons. Most times, it circles around the globe of the rich forks, not the pour. Like I commented on your IG LT.
To preserve their lineage in the direction they want it to go
These three statements explain why I'm currently single.
"We're not here to force anybody, we have to flow."
"When you're tired you revert back to the fundamentals."
"If you're not rooted in God, there is nothing to talk about."
This interview was EVERYHING! Alot was shared and I learned alot about Nigerians. I enjoyed it sooo much! This brother and sister relationship is so powerful. It is crystal clear that the mom that raised them was AMAZING and Absolutely adored by them! I watched so proud of them, especially proud of Chris since also following him on Ready to Love. My prayer is that he would end up only with the "wife" God desires for him to have and that the Lord would make that woman of God crystal clear to him in Jesus Name, AMEN!!
Olivia is the type of woman Chris described he did not want on Ready to Love! I wonder what his sister thought of the strong woman on the show, who are alpha females like her!
Exactly. Chris on Ready to love talking about women are too emotional to be in high positions. In 2023 this is what hes saying its crazy
This!!! Also, why he needed her to soften up when they were just dating people around. Do fun things with her and see how she'll losen up!
My Children Father is Nigerian, I’ve learned so much from this interview I never knew thank you for sharing ❤
Thoroughly enjoyed this interview!!
Looking forward to watching this episode❤
This will be interesting. Chris is quite a character on this season's ready to love. I'm wondering who he went off on the next episode? I think it's Jessica.
Get rid of all bitterness
Rage
And anger
Brawling and slander
Along with every FORM of malice and be kind and compassionate to one another.
Forgiving each other FIRST.
As in CHRIST GOD forgave you.
Character
Been waiting on this Olivia!
This is by far my FAVORITE interview!
It's wise to know the boundaries of what you know and what you don't know!
I like it when she said "...at the end of the day they're still a Man that recognizes Man and i can't do something that I'm not designed or equipped to be"
Omg she went to UAPB! I did too! Class of 2014!
Been waiting ❤
Great interview
Sis...YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE how you speak life over your brother AND the LOVE you both have for GOD!!
Your parents definitely planted
seeds of prosperity in their children
Great conversation... I learned so much
This is an awesome conversation.
Very informative. Thank you for educating us! Loved this episode! 🙏🏾
This episode was so organically pure and beautiful! ❤ Glory be to God this wisdom shared was so essential so thank @Laterras and Chris and Olivia! God Bless all of you!
I was listening this on apple podcast but I have to switch over to you tube, because I had to see the faces of who were speaking. This bless my heart today 💖
I’m in love with this episode❤❤ I’m a sister and I love my sister in love for my brother , and this brother sister dynamic made my heart leap.
If the African-American/black community had this same setup & tradition as the Nigerians and Ghanians and other Africans; we would be so much further along than we are now 😭..not pointing all the fingers at us because due to systemic/governmental implementations & annihilation black relationships & community has been challenged
Yes but western culture is not eastern culture. They are black Americans not African any longer.
Wow. This was a good one!! Thank you for this!! Very, very great points on both sides! It's different when you grow up in the culture. Truly! Thinking future tense, touching on submission as well as respecting the rolls of each other and ultimately, the bloodline!
Love this episode, it gave me a different perspective on arranged marriages, with all the love and support you receive it’s amazing. Wasn’t a fan of Chris on RTL but this episode brought more clarity about him and his culture and his views on submission. It’s was a good episode 👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wow this IS SO ON TIME! I KNOW for a fact that The LORD arranged my marriage. RIH Shannon 🙏🏽💜
I really enjoyed this episode. Thank you for this. All the best to you Chris.
I absolutely loved this episode what amazed me the most is seeing I-man on here & the love that’s in his family and for God.