I was married for nearly 50 years and had children. I am now a widow and my children are NOT there for me. So being married and having children does not mean you can count on them.
if thats why you had children it probably showed and it isn't right by them, children deserve unconditional love as children and not conditional love of "if I scratch your back, you'll need to scratch mine when I'm old, okay, otherwise me and society will shame you"
you must be some kind of an expert, and how do you know someone didn't love their kids, and shame on you for trying to shame and judge people, and who are you, "mother of the year"?
My children show up to gaslight, lie, and block you on Facebook and not let you see your grandchildren. If try to set boundaries and they get angry. If you don’t like being lead around by your nose. Set boundaries and tell them they will be out of the Will 😎
My mom has home health aids go to her house 7 hours per day to assist with daily life. They are useless people. Especially the Haitians. You can complain all you want it doesn’t do any good.
Yes, this happens often. Im sorry BUT, always remember that was the entire premise of the Golden Girls. Might need to bud up with few roommates, or adopt a family. Ive done it, when Im single and Im 48, that helps alot.
Having children is not a guarantee of assistance in old age. I raised 3 children alone. Have 4 grown grandchildren. But cannot depend on a single one of them.
Same. I raised my kids and practically raised my two grandchildren. Now that my grandkids are old enough to look after themselves, no one needs me around. My phone has hardly rung in almost 2 years. When they call/text, it usually means they want something.
The really sad and devastating thing is that I have two children and three grandchildren but am alone. I poured my life into taking care of my husband and children. I only worked part time so I could be there for them. Then I helped raise my grandchildren. I have had to find a way to live with a broken heart. Now I need to address these issues. Thank you for the resources.
I can relate too.When we were together i supported my husband,we didn't had kids but incidents happens and I got alone and at 37 now I am trying to navigate on how to save for my old age.
@@iamauroraborealis Yes, it is a sad situation and it was devastating to have it happen, BUT because of it happening I have been propelled into the most productive and creative time of my entire life. I am a joyful person. Healthy, energetic, and vivacious. I am 72 and have wonderful friends, men and women. My children and grandchildren were a great joy until a few years ago. They were gifts of God. I do not regret any circumstance of my life.
Children are not there as a backup and should never be considered a guarantee of help. My dog and I visit convalescent centers and extended care facilities. So many of the residents have children who do not visit them even during the holidays which is why my dog and visit. Make a plan that does not include your children. Then if they do help, you get an added benefit.
Yes, thank you! Even though I have family, I never want them feeling responsible for me. I never want to be a burden on my long-grown children, grandchildren or my nieces or nephews.
I am 64 and will be aging without children. What I would like to do is find a cohabitation situation. I think we're going to have to take care of each other.
In france, too expensive to move back to the States after a hellacious divorce. No children to count on. I am thinking collaboration would be a good and perhaps fun and caring situation...Golden Girls...never watched it but thats the idea!
As an elder I moved from Austria (where I had lived for 30 years) with my suitcase, knapsack and my cat and no finances to Hawaii, brief stay there, and back to Canada (where I originally lived until 26). Here I did 14 moves in just 4 years. So I can't imagine sharing with anyone except a partner after that! I've been in my own place now for 2 1/2 years! 😃
That is one of the most self-less things I have ever heard. You must be an earth angel! May God's love and light bless you and keep you now and forever.
I have always lived alone and have been concerned about having no one to pass my assets to. You mentioned having someone younger than you that you trust "adopt" you. My next-door neighbor's and their 3 boys have become so very close to me over the past few years. They readily accept me into their family unit, including their nuclear families, and I adore them all. I decided to ask them if they would agree to help me negotiate old age, including managing my long-term care, and they eagerly and happily agreed. I always knew God would have someone to help me if I helped others throughout my life, which I have done. My papers will be drawn up soon and I plan to leave my assets to them that are left from my estate after my bills have been paid. This though would never have agreed to had I not run across the topic of being an elder orphan. Thank you so very much as this is definitely a win-win.
This is so heartwarming! As someone with no family at all apart from my husband who’s older than me, I can only hope I will end up in a situation like yourself. I think I’m a very generous, kind and loving person who tries to help others as much as I can. I pray that some day this will pay back. I have high hopes someone from church might be that person or that family that would be willing to step in and help manage my old age
@@VanessaJ2421 Believe and stay strong in faith and it will come to pass. The universe provides when we need it most. AND you will absolutely know who that person is when the time is right. Sending you love and light my friend.
Yes, I think the fact that people's kids often work full time and have their own kids needs to be taken into consideration. It would be great if they would at least visit, but they may not be able to afford to quit working to take care of their parents full time. And even if they can, they may not have the skills or physical strength to manage care by themselves after a certain point. What if it requires a lot of heavy lifting or around the clock supervision?
These answers are all making me feel 'not so bad' that i am divorced and have no children to worry about. kind of scary but true. no path no requirements freedom. but scary and lonely at times
I am an elder male orphan - I think men who are alone face many of the same difficulties in old age as women who are alone. But women have the advantage of generally being more emotionally open and available than men often are. That may make it harder for men to seek out and accept help in old age. I know that’s true for me.
I'm a woman consider myself friendly etc and I have almost no friends my male friends on the other hand have like milion friends 😮 U need to have some hobby like fishing golf tennis whatever ... where u meet ppl ( I don't have hobbies I'm chronically ill and always feel sickly and I'm on a low fixed income) Maybe that's why it is so tough
I hear you, senior person, disabled on sm. fixed income with chronic health problems, high functioning autistic (able to take care of myself except for reminders for now), and my two friends live in 2 other states. I do have children, but they have their own health problems. I have put off worrying about this until now, guess it is time to start planning... @belarte7063
No sir. There is no advantage for women I assure you. From the day her mother dies, a woman is left alone to shift for herself. Tough old world for all of us, eh?
I'm 63 years old, widowed and no children. I have four nieces and nephew on one side of my family which one I have not seen in more than 10 years. My husband's side I have two nieces who have also not spoken to me for about 10 years. And they all live out of state or Upstate for me. I never imagined I'd read in the comments how many people actually have children who don't have any communication with them or don't care about them! Our society is completely broken and all I can do is pray for people and pray that God brings our families together so that no one has to die alone in their old age. Or to live alone and not have anyone to rely on for socializing or holidays or special times like birthdays. It's extremely sad to me
Good morning I’m 61 with no children I have a lot of fear about getting fragile and ending up in some kind of home where my rights are taken away I lift weights to keep my muscles strong and I make sure I get enough protein vitamin D3 and zinc. I’m hoping if I keep myself strong I will be able to live independently well into my 80s. My mother is 88 and completely independent My father is 91. Both sharp as whips But ya just never know how long they will live. All the best to all into your futures ♥️
Sounds like you are doing the right things to stay independent. Eating right, doing resistance training and getting the right vitamins is very important.
@@eatmeatandliftweights5754 I’ve been carnivore for 6 months now. It has healed my dry eye syndrome and I’m building muscle and toning up! I can’t believe this way of eating. The carnivore community people are so fantastic I use to have problems with hypoglycaemia and hypotension. Now that is in remission I pray I stay strong and sharp
I am 50 years old, never married, no children and am a caregiver to my elderly parents. I am thinking about who will take care of me as I get older. I have 14 nephews and nieces, but I am not close to any of them. We talk, but to depend on them for my future needs I don't trust. I belonged to several churches, but not anymore. I have hope though. God has taken care of me this long, I know He won't stop taking care of me.
@@belarte7063 No, you don't want to marry for the purpose of having them take care of you in old age...what a silly suggestion. You don't want to be a burden on your spouse either.
That is not always the answer go to find a man because you are getting older she said since God has brought her this far he's not going to abandoned her you see that where her faith came in stronger than a mustard seed.@@belarte7063
I was a single mother of two children but I know I'm not going to be able to count on them to help me when I get older, I'm 63 now. Even my older daughter made it very clear she said "I will not have the money nor the time to take care of you". I'm just praying to God that I have a peaceful passing that I can just lay down and go to sleep and transition. I do know God provides.
You have some daughter.... how incredibly rude 😒 ..You know young ppl get in trouble also. Have seen 82 yrs old mother taking care of her 60 yrs old sickly daughter...
When your older daughter was a child, imagine yourself saying that to her. Of course you wouldn’t have . Unless a child was abused in some form or abandoned, I have a difficult time how they can turn their backs. Maybe they don’t have the money, time or emotional resources but they can talk and tell you what they are able to do.
Not trying to be rude but with that comment she made to you God will see to it that she live this earth before you do that terrible thing to say to your mother.
@@Chinaglo24 Lets not judge without taking the daughters point of view. We do not know that the daughter had a mother who was present for her. We do not know who burned the bridges.
@@sreangsuacharyya5788 ok, let's see if I'm understanding. You're saying that we can't judge her daughter but, instead, we can judge the mother by implying she did something wrong to deserve this kind of response? Please, can you elaborate how does this "don't judge the daughter but let's judge the mother" thing work?
@quetta,i am 47yrs, no husband&no children due 2 biological issues, stil longs 4 a child but painfully trying 2 make peace wid de fact Dat i Wil never ve one... But I am surprised dat even people wid children end up alone anyway(south Africa)
@@tessiefang762 It is not selfish to not want to sacrifice your life taking care of an elderly relative who has failed to plan for their old age. No, you are not entitled to be a burden on your grown children, especially if you failed to plan for your old age.
I see that I'm not the only one who sacrificed and raised thankless children. I'm alone and will have to figure it out. I live in a building full of elder orphans. We look out for each other but sometimes it becomes too difficult to live alone. I would rather be dead than go to a nursing home.
The problem with adopting a family with inheritance as the collateral is that it may incentivize them to wish for your early demise . You may not know them as well as you think you do and it is a dark part of human nature . Also many Elderly Orphans may be single and childless because they are loner types making it more unlikely that they'll start reaching out and forming strong bonds in later life .
The idea that everyone is super social is problematic, as if all some of us have to do is "try harder". Also, married older women sometimes see single older women as a threat, even when we are not. If I socialize with moms and grandmas I'm left feeling like I have nothing to contribute. My life has been/is very different than most.
Celestial Circle dance- Just because your single and have no children does not mean your a loner. Are you aware some women cannot have children or some choose they do not want to raise a child.Think about that. Everybody's life path is not the same.
@@cynthiawarren9379 she didn't say that. She said they "may be are the loner type". Of course she's considering many other causes to be an elder orphan.
My brothers 75 year old widow (6 years now) has no children and only has social security, she can’t afford to live on her own. I am a new widow (4 months) trying to get her to come live with me.
Before I married my husband I told him I want to take care my step Mother& one Aunt who raised me. I was adopted by my birth mother’s sister. My birth mother gave 5 of away to her sister. If you have a problem with this I won’t marry you. Also my cousin A we got raised together and he’s mentally slow. He likes working but he’ll only be able to hold low paying jobs. If he’s not married when we get old with no children I want him to come live with us. He said it was fine with him. That was in our mid 20’s here we are in mid 60’s my cousin is still working but he knows he’s welcome to live with us. I love my husband he so was especially kind to my mom, my Aunt. My rest of my family like him. He’s a hardworking, kind man. We raised two great children. I don’t want to see my cousin become homeless. I hope she decides to move in with you. Living on only Social Security is hard. Best Wishes
Great subject. My husband died 7 years ago. Praise God, he had life insurance. A month after the funeral, I went back to the mortuary and asked them to plan my final needs as well. I put it on a two year payment plan and now everything is paid for. This is a "gift" to/for my three adult children. What a relief it is for all of us. It was not morbid, but it is good planning. Make sure at least one of your kids know where all your paper work is. Someone has to be in charge when the time comes. You decide, while you can. Your kids will be so grateful. It is a great feeling. Now I am enjoying the rest of my life with peace of mind.
I am 47, never married, and childfree. I have been thinking alot of these things lately. Thanks for doing this video. People have to understand that children aren't a 401k/pension plan.
Yes, children have their challenges today! In past generations and depending on culture too- children will take care or have to the time to be there for their parents. But we need to understand times have changed!
I sometimes feel like an elder orphan even though I have two children, both in their fifties who offer less and less support the more I struggle. Asking for even the simplest favors brings disappointment. I've toughened and managed to find forgiveness through love and meditation. Thank you Margaret, for your help and understanding.
I feel like an elder orphan, too. I have a son who is off living his own life and isn't part of mine. I worry about what will happen to me as I age..., particularly with disabilities.
I get it! my kids are close and keep telling me I need to give up my house. It is too big as is the yard. yet, help? not happening. I think our kids are just perhaps in too much denial. After all, we raised them. we were strong and resilient and now we aren't! That is a very difficult thing for kids to understand. I remember when I realized my dad wasn't the dad I had known. Sometimes it is just too hard for children to come to that realization. So I get it, though I too, am disappointed. I will probably die in this house I cannot manage anymore, where I sleep on the couch because I can't do stairs, where the yard is neglected when it once was a place where people asked to walk through. So yeah, I get it, and it really sucks.
If you treat your kids reasonably, won't they reciprocate when you are old? I can imagine maybe one will be a bad apple...where even if you treated them reasonably they treat you badly. But with two kids, if both don't treat you well...did you treat them reasonably when they were growing up?
70 here, and an "elder orphan." I spent the last 10 years of my mother's life (she lived to be 102) as her caregiver, and often wonder what will happen to me. This video was perfect, and I will definitely check out some of the resources you list. Thank you.
I'm 45, single, no children. My grandma passed away 40 days ago at 98 years old. I was her caregiver for the last 10 years. My mom passed away years prior and I was also her caregiver. People can't understand the pain I feel. I miss her so much. I feel alone in the universe.
I am 66,divorced,no kids,estranged from my siblings and totally alone.guess that makes me an elder orphan.first I've seen of this 60 & me channel but I'll be back.
I'm 68, single, never married, no children. I set up a flow through will within a living trust, have already paid for my final resting place, but I worry about not having anyone to rely on to assist with financial and health issues.
This is my concern as well. I’m 56. Never married and no children. I’m very afraid of living too long and unable to live alone. I hear such horror stories of abuse in senior living facilities. I don’t want to be in that situation.
Thanks. Will look into flow through will within a living trust. Worry as well. Was looking into facilities in safer areas in Mexico. The facilities look much warmer than in USA and cost effective. Wishing you good health and safety.
I've found having pets is a way better option than children that aren't interested in your life in any possible way, apart from when they want something perhaps. Make so sure that one is never in a position where you will ever need to rely on them for anything, physical or emotional... ❤️ ❤️
Yes but unfortunately pets will not really help with much other then fulfilling emotional needs and also when person dies their pets are being brought up to shelter and euthanized or stuffed in small cage 😔
I was watching my mom taking care of my grandparents. My kids were watching me taking care of my parents. My son is living with his in-laws. We would have a space in our daughter's house when we would not be able to take care of ourselves anymore.
I've written a letter to be passed out to my 19 nieces and nephews with my will. I'm not cutting them out of my will, but I express my grief that they've abandoned me and I hope this doesn't happen to them.
@@veramae4098 It would be interesting to see what would happen if you sent this to them while still alive. Maybe they would feel remorse and change their ways?
I have no family or children. But I was "adopted" by a young family" who checks on me.. But they are not in this state currently. Luckily I found a young professional organizer who will act like "boots on the ground" if something was to happen.. She knows where all the important papers are and has the phone number of who to call to get things done. I am very Blessed.
I am not an elder orphan, I'm a solo ager (check out Sara Neff Gerber's work). One mind set is empowering; the other is not. As a woman, I've been taking care of myself my whole life. That doesn't change just because I'm getting older. It just means I have to be more thoughtful and prepared in facing the last chapter of my life. And it is not fair to ask others, children or otherwise, to do this for you. Aging and dying happens to every one of us. Better to take responsibility, accept, and plan.
I do not want my children to take care of me. I want them to visit and share the stories of their lives with me but i do NOT want them waiting on me or cleaning me or feeling like they have to give up time with their children or away from their needs for me. I will find someone else to do that sort of thing.
Yes, good for you! I'm caring for my bedridden mother. It's very taxing. I miss the days when I could just be her daughter. So tired of being her nurse, physical therapist, nutritionist, etc. etc.
I was survivivng independently and didn't feel old until 8 months ago when I fell and broke my ankle in 3 places. I had surgery then and still can't walk right, etc. A state worker was sent to my home and gave me the option of going into a nursing home where I would have to give up my little social security check, etc. etc. I said no, but I thought I'd be able to walk normally by now. There are other problems that I won't get into here. But I am having a hard time realizing that I am really all alone and now feel really old since that fall. It's like all my hopes and future dreams went out the window in a flash. All it took was one bad moment in life. Unbelievable!
Hi there. I can imagine how helpless and frustrated you feel. I don’t know your specific issues, but you should try to speak with your doctor about some ways. You might be able to move more effectively. Perhaps a walk or something that gives you more freedom. There is definitely that you have to make with your lifestyle, but you might want to check out somebody called Carol Marak - she has a Facebook group and I think her website where she talks to women who are in a vulnerable situation like you. Living alone. Please take good care.
I’m not even 60; I’m in my early 40s but I want to be prepared as a childfree woman. No regrets, though: A lot of parents don’t realize that their children aren’t a reliable retirement plan if they haven’t planned out the end of their lives.
Sad that children don’t feel that they WANT to be there for their parents needs as they age. My son, I raised him on my own from age 2, doesn’t even communicate with me unless he want’s something. It’s been a year he doesn’t even answer my emails with a short sentence to let me know if he is well. I write every month , a few lines to let him know any news from home and always remember birthday and Christmas. He doesn’t answer though he once told me that he does read all my emails.
@@c8Lorraine1 Perhaps your son senses your attitude and that's why he keeps his distance from you? What you need is a group of friends for your social needs and a reliable medical team for your medical caretaking needs. Your son is not at your beck and call.
Im 65 but my face is still presentable. In the last year my hair is falling out at an alarming rate because of heart failure realities. My only sister moved 31 hours away. My children abandoned me because I'm not reliable and break promises because of my poor health. I no longer hear from the four of them or my 5 grand children. I'm not even middle class and barely hanging onto my home month to month, eating only rice, eggs and frozen vegetables every single day to put a little money away in case of emergency or small home repair. I've kept my credit cards free from any balances because I cant really afford to use them. So I dont really hardly go anywhere except the drugstore for neds once a month and on that day hope I'm well enough to pick up the next months food. My bills are low because the house is dark except for the room I'm in, I dont use air conditioning and only heat the rooms I am sleeping or sitting in. But now thanks to our screwed up government, prices are through the roof and I can afford less and less. When it's almost the last day I can take care of myself, I'll leave my home and will it to the state with all my belongings and find a quiet barren empty place this lonely old unhealthy lady can pass away at. Otherwise if it's an event, I dont want to be recessitated and can only hop I'll pass away quietly in my sleep one of these days. After a few months or so someone would eventually find my expired body after the utilities get shut off for non payment. Meanwhile no one wants to listen to someone that only has their poor health to talk about and cant really do much anymore. No one wants to visit them. I do have a friend I buy dinner for every other month so she'll come and I can see her, she doesn't like talking on the phone or getting texts because she is very busy. We're thrown away, told we're loved from a distance by others when we get to this stage. No one knows what this is until they find themselves in this situation fully. I have the beginnings of heart failure now, with COPD and a severe immune disorder that attacks my body's healthy tissue that's left with chronic inflammation. Everyday I fight for air at times, deal with terrible pain and I do it completely alone. I can still make my own food and spruce up a room in the house here or there if I am having an exceptional day, but honestly those dont happen very often. It is what it is... Nothing is going to change it... Today is another day, now I have to find the reason to want to get up and start my day.
Gaia Miranda, I totally understand you & have seen how ungrateful people abandon the ones who loved them so much & took good care of them. God will eventually returns people's actions back to them; it's just a matter of time & those who see the consequences of their wrong action here on earth, are far better off than when the soul leaves the body & there will be no chance to repent or make things right. I just have few suggestions that hopefully could be useful to you: 1) find out the phone number for the organization that has volunteers checking on seniors living alone by occasional visits and phone calls everyday 2) Please don't will your house to the state; SELL it if you can, along with other things in it & USE the money for your OWN benefit. I agree that ungrateful people who do not understand your situation & cease their contact with you over such minuscule things, don't deserve to inherit your house. 3) Some old stuff these days are far better in quality than the ones made within the past 20 years - mostly in China - and many people know it. Therefore, check your local Craig's List & also E-Bay to see how valuable your items are & be extra careful when you want to sell them. Even pretend that your children know who's coming to your home to purchase whatever. If you can, ask your friend and see if she can ask one of her children to be with you and help you out; then out of the sale of your items, you can pay him or her, something like 15 to 20 dollars per hour in cash. Remember that for instance, each old plates with roses or other flowers and patterns, sell for 20 dollars each. Another option: contact a reputable consignment store in your area to come over & assess your items & furniture. Most of them do a 50-50 split of the sale of your items. Make sure you document whatever they take to their stores to sell (take photos & get receipts & put everything in writing and keep a signed copy by the store staff). Once you sell your home and whatever you no longer need, you can use the money to maybe move to a community where people of your age live. You can even chose a reputable retirement home, the ones that are a bit more pricey than the government ran places or average private places where people in the same situation as yourself, live. In that case, make sure the place is only able to get a certain amount per month by electronic debit through your bank account, so that your money would be left safe. ANOTHER OPTION: have a couple of tenants or housemates to live with you and have them sign a contract and pay the rent via depositing electronically to your bank account. Some people can hardly afford the sky rocketing rent payments, so you might be able to get for example, a single mother and her children to come and live with you, and pay their share of the utilities (again make certain you have a written contract and keep one copy for yourself in a self place). Take copies of their IDs and make sure your friend knows who are your tenants. You can do a credit check and even criminal record check prior to allowing them to move in. Make sure they have a source of income, and then you can offer a discount on rent in lieu of them making you meals, and do some light housekeeping. I will pray for you. Please don't self sabotage. See if you can join a church and look for those organizations who have volunteers looking out for the elderly. Maybe your local Seniors' Resources Center would be good start to contact. You will be surprised how they have ways of helping you. The staff also help the elderly with rent contract writing and tenants and landlords' disputes. Please contact them; it won't cost you anything, and PLEASE ask JESUS Christ for help with all of your heart, and be patient to see how through him, God the father will open good doors for you. Whatever time we've left on this earth, no body knows, but it will be a shame not to go to God. By the way, I also heard that when the end comes, we must just call out to God to guide us and take us to himself and never listen to that voice which says come to the light, and just ignore it & call God to be with you and take you home. That "light" is said to be Lucifer's way of fooling the souls & prevent them from going up, and after the souls get fooled by him & go to the light, they will see that there's actually another hole leading back to earth & into another body & becoming slaves of Satan again. So please believe that God is the answer. Peace and blessings be upon you. I wish you safety, better health, getting out of loneliness and all the good things you can have.
The other person who commented has some very good ideas. I know it is hard, life is so hard. I pray for strength for all of us, and for you, and that God will heal us of what ails us physically. mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Hello, yours was a very sad story, but you wrote it so well. I am sure there was just a tiny hint of humour in there. Maybe you could write about your life or take up writing a daily journal? Just a thought😊
This is my biggest fear. I bought my condo where it has everything, busses, gym, theater, all different things to do. But seniors are more like being in high-school. Gossip is rapid.
Very important topic and well handled, thank you so much! Tday I accidentaly met a woman- veteran of 2WW, she had fantastic attitude, she was in shape both physically and mentally, but completely alone...she stopped me in bakery for help with her bags, ended up having a nice chat and walk. Talking with her about my concerns about age, listening to her gave me a lot of courage for the future! 💪😊😊😊🥰
I'm 66 and divorced/widowed, living with my 27-year-old daughter who is also single. I moved in with her as an experiment. We've found it works great. We're like roommates, even starting a nonprofit together. I am very healthy and active, and find that living with a millennial is a plus. The big thing is keeping a positive attitude and not being a burden on others. A dear friend is 71 years young and lives in a shared residential situation. What we've found, is that aging is a joy when you're content and the people around you are content with their lives. Nowadays, with the high food prices, it seems that many of us are finding creative ways to enjoy our senior years.
My elderly mother refuses to move to my state and allow hubby and I to care for her. She has a neighbor that she just loves... I am planning on talking to Mom about putting this neighbor on the payroll. She only needs help for an hour or 2 a day, and she would get to stay in her own home. The neighbor needs the money, and a flexible side gig might be a win-win situation.
Here I am watching this having 4 sons but NOT wanting to burden them with my elder years. They deserve to enjoy their entire life. I am beginning now to plan for my care. I am 47 and I refuse to allow my sons to sacrifice their own families for me. They owe me nothing. Wish me luck y'all🤗
@mimime9968 I respect your opinion. My opinion differs. I choose to plan to be responsible for ME. They will have wives and children. One already does. Why would I burden them w more? I've seen this burden 1st hand w my gma. She wasn't happy and neither were her daughters who had to interrupt their lives every month when it was "their turn." I'm responsible for my care. No one else. So I'm planning ahead. Just my way not for everyone but it is for me❣️
I think even if you have a spouse and a child/children, you should still decide this for yourself. You never know what will happen - and you could suddenly find yourself single. I was recently at my annual checkup, and for the first time my doctor asked me if I had a healthcare proxy, and an end of life strategy - not sure I was ready for this, but good to get all your ducks in a row!
I'm one of them, no children and no partner, making myself lots of thoughts about this subject, would like to plan and do something about it before it's too late. But I don't see having children or partner as a garanty for the future, then I've seen many women, who thought, that they weren't alone, didn't take the responsiblity for their own lifes and immense dissappointed. Live doesn't develope always the way we think. I checked the article and the webside from Carol Marak, found it quite interesting. This topic is for all women very important.
Your videos are so encouraging. I am in my 80s and fortunate to have a house that so far I can manage to maintain. However, realizing that the time will probably come when I need more help I decided a few years ago to work on getting rid of my mortgage so that money can be available to spend on getting help with maintaining my home as I never want to go into a care home. I did it by being more frugal and this year that goal will be complete. I feel fortunate to be the kind of person who enjoys living alone. I do have 2 children but one of them has decided to estrange from me. I'm still in the process of coming to terms with that. That's my story and sharing it is helpful to me and hopefully will be helpful to others in some way.
These are GREAT tips! Many more of us are aging without children. Men as well as women. I particularly liked the idea of co-habitation. Good roommates are cool in our 20s--why not in our 60s, 70s, 80s or even older! And the social component is crucial. My wife's Mom is now in the need of home care or assisted living. She has allowed herself to become desocialized over the past several years, and it presents some challenges as we look for care! Really appreciate your content and you're doing important work. Thank You!
Not everyone wants a roommate, though and some roommate situtations don't work out. Besides, you don't want a roommate just to take care of you unless they are a healthcare worker who you or your health insurance has hired.
Guys can be in the same boat to. I'm an adopted child (now in my early fifties), no siblings, parents both gone, no children and single for more years than I care to remember. I choose to be single and love the single life, so I'm not complaining, but getting elderly is definitely something I'm starting to think about a lot more now, particularly when it comes to health and brain function. Fortunately I have a very challenging technical job which keeps my brain active but I do need to start exercising more.
I am a retired professional nurse. I purchased high end long term care insurance before I turned 50 as I saw firsthand what can happen when family is expected to be caregivers for any compromised person; it is unsafe for both the non-professional caregiver as well as the patient. I would never put that responsibility or stress on my son or my spouse.
Hello Athena. This is such wonderful advice. I think so many people would benefit from understanding what can happen when you own your 70s 80s and how expensive it is. You made such a wonderful decision. Thank you for sharing.
I am 60 now and I am estranged from my 2 adult children. I tried to establish a relationship with my kids but their father fled the country when I won custody. By the time they came back into the country they were old enough legally to choose to live with. They chose him. It’s been 12 years since I’ve seen them. I’ve been wondering how life is going to be growing old alone.
@@sreangsuacharyya5788I think a better question is; why can’t they choose to have a connection with both parents. I suspect an alienating strategy happening. A lot of adult children have no concept of compassionate caring for immediate family. There are exceptions where abuse is in their history growing up.
I'm 65 and am currently my mother's caregiver. I am married with no children. My husband dores not know how to take care of another person. He means we'll but does not see how much care my mother needs now and thinks I do nothing. In the meanwhile, I have to make three meals a day for her, give her her nedkcation , check herbicide and blood pressure, bathe her, clean up her messes, do all of the shopping, addition so laundry (mom is incontinent), was dishes, take her to multiple doctors which requires the use of a transport wheelchair. She out weighs me by 80 lbs, so lifting the wheelchair over doorways, etc is heavy. Since he does my srr
I'm 40 so i have nothing observations since I am not there yet. My spouse and I care for our older relative and one thing notice is that it's hard for her to be flexible in accepting that she needs to do things differently than she has in the past. She is lonely but doesn't want to leave the house to make friends or join a class. At some point you have to be a little flexible. She is not interested in learning new things in order to have relatable conversations with younger people and just wants to talk at you instead of conversing with you. All of this makes it harder than it needs to be. I'm learning that I don't want to be like that. Hopefully I'll learn to be different.
My mil. Always saying she's lonely but finds fault in anyone and everyone who tries to befriend her. She's 86 with no major health issues. She's weighing her son down
And there may be women who were married and had a child, but the child died at some point in their youth. (I was born with hydrocephalus, and was not expected to live very long; now I'm middle-aged.) There's also the issue of parents who have mentally disabled children (regardless of age) who still live with them, and may not be able to take care of their parents when the time comes.
I know a few situations like this. It is scary. Depending on where a person lives, there can be organizations that will help with planning for disabled children once the parents can no longer do it.
Very important and relevant topic, Margaret...thank you. We have to be real about this, as aging brings many issues with it. I would NEVER assume that my kids would take care of me, and I'm widowed, so I'd better start planning for this possibility. I'm in the process of prepaying my final arrangements, but, this needs the same attention. It's not like back in the day, when adult kids looked after their parents. Sadly, that's the exception now, and not the rule. I don't want to depend on my kids for anything. Not many support groups, and friends or roommates are difficult to find. Take good care, and stay well. Rosemarie 💖
Approaching 60, single no kids. My 3 sibs and I are sharing care for my elderly mother. So glad we had the parents we did, and we all turned out as adults the way they had tried to rear us to be. I think that idea of community is key. As for me, I personally hope I am not going live to the age of my mom. Well I guess i mean I hope I do not outlive my ability to care for myself.
I have no children and no husband but I'm only 36 and hope to never have them. Without the burden of having them, I hope to live to at least a hundred. But if I were to have them, I would not survive even a decade. Decades of extra life is a great deal for having noone "official" to care for me. Anyways, you inspire me!
Are you aware that women who were never pregnant and had no children are prone to have more health issues on their older years than those who had kids?
Thank you for your talk. This is such an important issue and one close to my heart. Once we get to a certain age it is so important to put our affairs in order whilst we still have the mental capacity to do so
I’m very glad that you’re here. It’s difficult to accept her physical limitations. I hope that you find some good advice. Here you’re welcome to be here.
I do have children. They are good but I don’t expect them to help me 100% because they have their own family to take care of. Need to be prepared when the time comes that I can’t be independent anymore.
This is really great. Thank you. It’s highly unfortunate that men over 60 without children do not come together and support each other as women do here.
This applies to men, too. I have an Estate Plan and a Financial Power of Attorney, but that's established for a real disaster, not pragmatic issues for minor surgeries, etc. So, it's the support for smaller issues that's a real problem and cause of anxiety.
I'm going through a divorce, but as soon as I am out of this mess, I am going to get my affairs in order, and buy a small one-story house where I can spend the rest of my years filled with peace, quiet, pets, friends, and lots and lots of travel. I have been saving and investing for retirement, but I'm not opposed to working until I'm 70, if I can, to get the fullest SS benefits, and to let my nest egg grow. I have one son, who cares for me, but honestly would not be the best caregiver, so I will look into long-term care insurance or see if I will have enough to self-insure. I have learned that there are only a few people I can truly count on in this world, and they are older than I am, but I will do my best to have their back, and I know they will do their best to have mine.
I don’t have kids but what is going on these days with all the estrangements? When I was young I didn’t know any adults whose kids didn’t talk to them. What has changed? It’s so sad. I’m fortunate to come from a close family but even if not I’d think it would have to take something really bad to totally abandon my parents. You’d think if the kids had kids, they could see how painful it is to their parents.
Am 27 and am already looking into this, I never had a relationship and am sad to say my family tree will end with me. But I hope when am old I would just like to continue working in my Future job Animation non stop since I be alone so working will get my mind off begin alone.
@belarte7063 it's fine , I been single since brith and never been attractive to most people very rare but even then I gotten rejected twice and gave up, am 28 and already have my Will. Don't wish to reach old age it scares me due to no family and don't want to waste the hospitals time on me.
@@unisangalaxystudio maybe you have depression? ..it can mimic things.. U can also adopt a child If u dont like ppl in general maybe u like animals and wu would like to help rescue foster
@belarte7063 not sure if adopting is a good idea in today's economy, as for a pet yea I had a dog but she passed away in 2016. Don't want another dog it's also expensive.
Only 17% of elderly adults are being cared for by family members. That coupled with a growing shortage of low paid health care workers and a shortage of Medicaid nursing home beds... Taking excellent care of your own health and saving every penny you can while you are young may be the few options we can control. End of life care is $6,000 to $10,000 per month for skilled care. I fully expect there will be big changes in societys views on end of life choices and care over the next 20 years.
I think you've missed the most important point. When a person goes into a nursing home they are at risk for being abused. They need someone to visit them regularly to make sure they don't have a neglected UTI or some other painful condition much less physical abuse. Some women have had children die. It's not like they're just separated from their children. When you have four elderly women living in a house together they are almost all incompetent in their 80s. They can't care for or make decisions for themselves let alone each other. Both my grandmother aunt and my mother had to have someone make meals for them and escort them to the hospital for tests. One needed a walker and none of them could drive due to night blindness and cataracts.. They needed to rent a room in a caring person's home. Their minds were perfectly fine. My relatives hadd help fortunately. Have you ever been in a nursing facility? It's filled with people with dementia. It's not a place where you can have a conversation . It's not a place for women whose bodies are simply getting older.
My secretary was in her 60s. Never married or children. She took care of another woman. One of my best friends, disabled male Marine. Would drive older women to do their shopping. Me? Widowed and raised a little one. Now in late '70s. I already have the trust/will. I doubled checked with the lawyers. Not able to take advantage of any government program that would provide long term care. What I can do? I keep reducing the clutter in my life while I am still healthy. Two storage units - gone. Clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't fit, broken items that are in need of repair and which will never be repaired, books that I have read, cook books, tools I will never use again, business records, forms files, back up documentation from old tax returns - all gone. The most important things - the car, the house are clean and not in need of repair. The dishes are washed, the food stuffs exist that I can take car of myself for a couple of weeks without requiring assistance.
Can’t believe how many comments completely miss the point. The video clearly mentions other videos that talk about estranged family, that’s not the topic, if you family is, for all intents and purposes, absent then the advice is totally relevant. If your family isn’t there, then behave and plan as if you are single. No need to be critical just because your family is no better than no family.
@@thebig60life57 hopefully thats a trend and by the time I am old there will be good communities and system to make sure you are doing good even without children, because I am at age when I should have children but really I do not want to make my life bad with them just to have a chance that they will help me when I am old.
All by ones SELF!!! A FREE SPIRIT!!! 66 yrs. Seasoned. No no no ties !!! No one to bother. Drug free!!!! No harmfull habits. No jobs. Disabled person.. .
In my observation every one of us needs to take responsibility for our own needs as we get older. No one can count on help from any family member or friend. Also, we all need to adapt to changing circumstances. I like the idea of older people living together in a group.
When the time comes for you to move into a nursing home or retirement center, it’s really not what it’s demonized to be. They have movie nights, a newsletter, WI-FI, a TV in each room, community areas where you can talk with others or do puzzles or crafts, and some even have resident pets or visiting pets that come through. Most have outside gardens or recreation areas that can be accessed. They are not just a place to go and wait for the end anymore.
adopt a family: yeah but choose wisely. you never know how a person will behave in difficult moments until it's too late. I learned it the hard way these past few months. so if you are a good judge of character, be my guest. if you are not, believe me, don't. share a household: I'll try this I think. just need to find my perfect formula. I think it is safer to rely on people who understand your situation, so being surrounded with elder orphans too is the better option. I also think that I am just going to start my own group as I think I won't find one in France. it will be easier and nearer anyway. so if there is no group near the place you live, just start one too! and the last thing I thought about was to participate to activities near my home: sport, charity, clubs and association about your hobbies, gardening in your yard if you have one, and share advises with people who love it too, etc. thanks for sharing!
What of those who live alone like me with social anxiety? The idea of living with someone eles or adoping a family is a massive challenge. I notice this video is a few years old also l get the feeling it's more for women in America.
Do your best to stay independent for as long as possible and don’t do anything that goes against your true self as that will just lead to more anxiety and regret. You will be ok. We all will.
Welcome to the USA.There is a diffence between here and some other countries. My Aunts and Uncle would make sure someone would visit my grandparents every day. This was in Belgium. The government paid for a cleaning women to come by every two weeks. As time went by, my cousins did this for my aunts. The government helped supplement. Here in the States I helped take care of my mom, even though she insisted on living in a Senior Community that provided for all the stages of Elder care. Welcome to the USA.
I live alone and don't have children. I set up an Advance Health care , only takes effect if I become unable to make my own health care decision. I also have a living will and a Will made plus my funeral arrangements are made too. Not taking any chances. 😊
Thanks for the informative video. I am one of 4 elder orphans. My younger brother (late 50s) has a son. My nephew lives across the country with his wife and kids. The rest of us never had kids. My older sister is married, but they both have health issues. My older brother is widowed and has health issues. I never married and have health issues. My younger brother broke up with his fiancée not long after my nephew was born, and now my younger brother has health issues. Our parents are gone, but our stepmom is still around, but she has health issues too. I'm hoping to see her in early May, after she migrates north for the summer (snowbird). She has her kids and grand kids to help take care of her, but we don't have anyone except each other. We get along with our step relatives but aren't close, and they aren't responsible for taking care of us. We have done the paperwork for medical care, wills, etc., but that doesn't replace having someone to check on you, and help you out when necessary. When I was 8 years old I decided to never marry or have kids. I will be starting on Medicare in June, and have never changed my mind. However, I am aware that the choices we make have consequences. Being an elder orphan is one of my consequences. My brothers live just a few towns away, so we do look after one another. My sister and her husband live in a neighboring state. They look after each other, and my brother-in-law has some family still living, but like the rest of us, they have health issues too. I am interested in those resources you mentioned I hope that they can be of some help.
Thank you for this video, Margaret, which describes my situation (never married, no children, and no close family except for a cousin my age). I have to look into getting an elder-care attorney. As for Carol Marak, I attempted to join her FB group years ago, before the pandemic, but was rejected because I didn't have a photo of myself as a profile picture which I found arrogant and offensive; even if I had provided a photo, how would she know for certain that it was me...or would she ask for proof of that also? I would assume that I am not the only senior without a personal profile picture, and it is no one's business as to why I or anyone else choose not to have one. I was immensely put off and feel that spoke to her character overall.
I am married but my husband's is older and chronically ill. We live on way less than $20,000 a year. Luckily we own our home and no longer own a car. We have public transit, which is free, taxes, Senior Transport and I love walking. We live right downtown in a progressive small city. I wish you would address issues that affect women living on low income or poverty. I am an old hand at economizing but some of us must consider we may be left alone with half our income gone and no life insurance or retirement. We lost our investments due to illness and family issues. Social Security is it. We have a small gallery business in our home but it is closed right now due to the pandemic. I plan to develop it more as it is not even close to a living.. We are also limited because if we earn too much income we will lose our Medicaid. We do have Medicare but the Medicaid supplements it. Many are in my situation and not in as good a place.
being old really sucks. Maybe need to do like my grandparent - just drink cheap alkohol whenever you can and die . Of course ideally would not want to end my life like that. And he was getting pension, he had caring daugher - my mom. He could have lived longer with his pension if he would not use alcohol so much.
I say it's best to have a medical professional as your health care proxy and medical professionals taking care of you in old age. They usually don't have a vested interest in you making a certain decision and they are not after any inheritence or property from you the way non-professionals can be. I say that's better than trying to "adopt" a family. Yes, social connections are important, but you don't want to befriend somebody hoping that they'll take care of you in old age...that's a wrong reason to friend somebody.
I did eldercare management for my parents for 15 years and wouldn't wish the burden on anyone. My spouse is great but has more health issues and I anticipate I'll be the survivor. Now that I approach this life stage, there's a few things I need to add or update, but the base is in place.
I am 70 and have three loving children and a daughter who has said that I am never putting you into a home. If you have a loving relationship is something you have the rest of your life.
LoL I appreciate folks like you because I survived a toxic abusive childhood with 2 parents very self centered and business career orientated whereby the right thing to do would have been for them to not have kids and just focus on the endless pursuit of career and financial success. I, of course co-parented and raised other peoples kids and yes it ends up a thankless endeavor. Yes there were those fun loving moments and ego strokes for job well done BUT in the end if I out live my mate I will be orphaned and alone. And my egocentric greedy siblings took all the inheritance last year just to punish me for leaving the toxic soup thirty years ago.
Great topic and content. No kids, nephews live many states away. Have maintained great, older friendships. Still, I can see where certain health issues could pose challenges down the road...
Thank you for this information. Fortunately I have a daughter who looks out for me (I am 85). I have concerns about her because she will be an "elder orphan" once I am gone. I will pass this information on to her; one more issue that will allow me to pass in peace. PS: Having family control your later years isn't always that desirable. In any case, end of life is simply another (huge) life challenge.
I am 85 years old and live on my own but I am blessed with three children, one boy and two girls. They check on me constantly but I , also do not want to be a burden to them. They would take me in, but they have to work and would not be able to be with me throughout the day. I pray that God takes me quickly like He did with my husband.
Apologies, but I am in fact commenting before watching. I'm a woman in this wonderful childfree spousefree life and I can see that having a nuclear family is as likely to be a burden on a woman as a support system. I'm not being cynical and I love to see people who are happy, whatever their life choices may be. As for me, I've lived common law, but the "spinster" lifestyle is the best. My strategies include: financial responsibility, health responsibility (100% healthy & delicious PLANT BASED FOOD) and daily exercise, friendships, and meaningful LIFELONG work. I happen to be fortunate to live in a country that provides FREE HEALTH CARE. To all you Americans: Get your regime to implement Universal Health Care. For goodness sakes, I can get care of equal or better quality for free to what you folks pay dearly or even go into debt for!
I’m so glad you are happy but as an American I don’t ever want my government in charge of my healthcare. I prefer to buy insurance and in reality it isn’t much different from paying exorbitant taxes to have “free” healthcare. Our system isn’t perfect but most of us are happy with it.
@@joycewright5386 I can understand your position and it might be too difficult to charge the system you're in, but my government is definitely not in charge of our healthcare system - not in the sense of any government body making decisions about health care options or availability. I don't pay a lot in taxes either. But I respect your opinion and the fact that it's challenging when you live in the third most highly populated country on Earth.
This subject is great. We are living longer and it’s not fair to burden our children with our care. I am alone and widowed in Canada and my daughter lives in the US. I looked at the reality a long time ago and kept myself healthy, always had a dog and made sure I had my own condo . Also funds are needed to get cleaning people in etc. joining a seniors club is very helpful. If I become ill with no future I as others will take MAID. This service helps you depart this world as soon as two doctors clear you. My best friend of sixty years recently took it due to bad osteoporosis, I was there and it took five mins. That’s my plan.
I really respect your decisions and you are thinking about this. It’s very beautiful to know you have it all organized and I’m sure your daughter appreciates that too. Here’s to many more years.
If you have enough money saved up, you could probably hire a full time live in housekeeper who can cook, clean, do laundry for you, help u pay your monthly bills, do your grocery shopping etc.. But please make sure you do full background checks before you hire someone and that you get the full report because websites where you can hire a full time housekeeper may or may not tell you everything about the person
It's even more challenging if your soul and body needs to live alternatively. Could not get the C-vax so am shunned by many and not allowed into joint households or care facilities. Feel terrible on refined and commodity foods used in assisted living communities and eat fresh from farmer's markets. Use alternative healers and am extremely healthy and on zero meds in my elderhood. But this way of living is eye-rolled and seems like a trivial thing to let go of if necessary by most people. For those like this, though, it isn't negotiable. It isn't about "belief" it's that we've tried to live "normally" and discovered the hard way we can't live that way. So it's hard to find places and people who resonate with.
So many don’t shut things down, and prepare for death and poor health. At 50 I started to think about the process. Self delusion is a dangerous practice. Downsize, aim to live in a studio or room. Stop buying unnecessary junk. Plan to end up in a nursing home. Pay attention to your mental and physical health, and plan accordingly. Are you helping seniors? Why do you think anyone will want to take that on. Be realistic and honest with yourself.
I am over 40, single and CF. I am not sorry, quite the contrary. I believe that being forced to take care of my own self in my old age makes me a better, more mature person than those parents or relatives who are expecting things from their younger relatives. The truth is that no one owes anyone care, unless it is paid for. It is utterly unfair to have expectations about other people and it is also rather childish. Children are not meant to be a retirement plan for their parents. Parents must understand that they have obligations and not rights over their children, no matter their age. If a child is willing to take care of their parents, good; if not, that's good too. Children should not be held accountable for their parents, they did not ask to be born. They didn't have the choice to exist or not, their parents did it on their own. Holding them responsible for a moral contract they did not have the chance to decide to sign or not is simply morally wrong.
I will be 67 soon, and have 2 daughters, but neither one are in my life, so will not be getting any help from them. I live alone and would like to age in place until I can no longer take care of myself. I will consider alternative housing options, such as assisted living. My final resting place is taken care of. However, I do need to consider how my final expenses will be taken care of since neither of my children want that burden. I guess I have a lot of things to work out before I go. It occurs to me that I need to think of these things sooner than later. Thank you for the information!
I was married for nearly 50 years and had children. I am now a widow and my children are NOT there for me. So being married and having children does not mean you can count on them.
if thats why you had children it probably showed and it isn't right by them, children deserve unconditional love as children and not conditional love of "if I scratch your back, you'll need to scratch mine when I'm old, okay, otherwise me and society will shame you"
you must be some kind of an expert, and how do you know someone didn't love their kids, and shame on you for trying to shame and judge people, and who are you, "mother of the year"?
My children show up to gaslight, lie, and block you on Facebook and not let you see your grandchildren. If try to set boundaries and they get angry. If you don’t like being lead around by your nose. Set boundaries and tell them they will be out of the Will 😎
My mom has home health aids go to her house 7 hours per day to assist with daily life.
They are useless people. Especially the Haitians. You can complain all you want it doesn’t do any good.
Yes, this happens often. Im sorry
BUT, always remember that was the entire premise of the Golden Girls.
Might need to bud up with few roommates, or adopt a family.
Ive done it, when Im single and Im 48, that helps alot.
Having children is not a guarantee of assistance in old age. I raised 3 children alone. Have 4 grown grandchildren. But cannot depend on a single one of them.
How sad.
Same. I raised my kids and practically raised my two grandchildren. Now that my grandkids are old enough to look after themselves, no one needs me around. My phone has hardly rung in almost 2 years. When they call/text, it usually means they want something.
The really sad and devastating thing is that I have two children and three grandchildren but am alone. I poured my life into taking care of my husband and children. I only worked part time so I could be there for them. Then I helped raise my grandchildren. I have had to find a way to live with a broken heart. Now I need to address these issues. Thank you for the resources.
Teresa Macey: I can totally relate to you, and I’m in a very similar position. Hopefully things will be ok for us. Take care.x
There is a quote .. a mother can take care of thier several children . But several children cant take care of thier one mother
I can relate too.When we were together i supported my husband,we didn't had kids but incidents happens and I got alone and at 37 now I am trying to navigate on how to save for my old age.
Was it worth it to have children at the end? No, thank you. You’re sad but very good example. 😔
@@iamauroraborealis Yes, it is a sad situation and it was devastating to have it happen, BUT because of it happening I have been propelled into the most productive and creative time of my entire life. I am a joyful person. Healthy, energetic, and vivacious. I am 72 and have wonderful friends, men and women. My children and grandchildren were a great joy until a few years ago. They were gifts of God. I do not regret any circumstance of my life.
Children are not there as a backup and should never be considered a guarantee of help. My dog and I visit convalescent centers and extended care facilities. So many of the residents have children who do not visit them even during the holidays which is why my dog and visit. Make a plan that does not include your children. Then if they do help, you get an added benefit.
Yes, thank you! Even though I have family, I never want them feeling responsible for me.
I never want to be a burden on my long-grown children, grandchildren or my nieces or nephews.
I love that you visit with your dog.
I have children but the last thing that I want is to burden them when I'm in old age.
I need to plan out what I am going to do.
@@winning3329
Me too. So glad to see thoughtful comments like yours.
Why should children not care for their parents? Used to be.
I am 64 and will be aging without children. What I would like to do is find a cohabitation situation. I think we're going to have to take care of each other.
I have children but I don't want to burden them.
I also want to find a way to take care of myself if possible.
In france, too expensive to move back to the States after a hellacious divorce. No children to count on. I am thinking collaboration would be a good and perhaps fun and caring situation...Golden Girls...never watched it but thats the idea!
Absolutely agree and great idea. Housing crisis going on so it makes sense to share
As an elder I moved from Austria (where I had lived for 30 years) with my suitcase, knapsack and my cat and no finances to Hawaii, brief stay there, and back to Canada (where I originally lived until 26). Here I did 14 moves in just 4 years. So I can't imagine sharing with anyone except a partner after that! I've been in my own place now for 2 1/2 years! 😃
Like the Ladies on the TV show the golden girls
At one point in my life I opened my house for homeless people that were dying and had no one to help them. It was a very happy time in my life.
God bless you
That is a great thing to do. It really is.
@@houndmother2398 I really loved it but after 6 years I couldn't Financially keep it up.
Wonderful
That is one of the most self-less things I have ever heard. You must be an earth angel! May God's love and light bless you and keep you now and forever.
I have always lived alone and have been concerned about having no one to pass my assets to. You mentioned having someone younger than you that you trust "adopt" you. My next-door neighbor's and their 3 boys have become so very close to me over the past few years. They readily accept me into their family unit, including their nuclear families, and I adore them all. I decided to ask them if they would agree to help me negotiate old age, including managing my long-term care, and they eagerly and happily agreed. I always knew God would have someone to help me if I helped others throughout my life, which I have done. My papers will be drawn up soon and I plan to leave my assets to them that are left from my estate after my bills have been paid. This though would never have agreed to had I not run across the topic of being an elder orphan. Thank you so very much as this is definitely a win-win.
This is so heartwarming! As someone with no family at all apart from my husband who’s older than me, I can only hope I will end up in a situation like yourself. I think I’m a very generous, kind and loving person who tries to help others as much as I can. I pray that some day this will pay back. I have high hopes someone from church might be that person or that family that would be willing to step in and help manage my old age
@@VanessaJ2421 Believe and stay strong in faith and it will come to pass. The universe provides when we need it most. AND you will absolutely know who that person is when the time is right. Sending you love and light my friend.
@@theresamarie1089 thank you so much! 🙏
Nursing homes are full of parents.
Yes, I think the fact that people's kids often work full time and have their own kids needs to be taken into consideration. It would be great if they would at least visit, but they may not be able to afford to quit working to take care of their parents full time. And even if they can, they may not have the skills or physical strength to manage care by themselves after a certain point. What if it requires a lot of heavy lifting or around the clock supervision?
They are full of elderly orphans
😢
These answers are all making me feel 'not so bad' that i am divorced and have no children to worry about. kind of scary but true. no path no requirements freedom. but scary and lonely at times
@@melb2734actually you will be surprised once you learn that these people who make their lives seem full isn’t that busy…..
I am an elder male orphan - I think men who are alone face many of the same difficulties in old age as women who are alone. But women have the advantage of generally being more emotionally open and available than men often are. That may make it harder for men to seek out and accept help in old age. I know that’s true for me.
I'm a woman consider myself friendly etc and I have almost no friends
my male friends on the other hand have like milion friends 😮
U need to have some hobby like fishing golf tennis whatever ...
where u meet ppl
( I don't have hobbies I'm chronically ill and always feel sickly and I'm on a low fixed income)
Maybe that's why it is so tough
I hear you, senior person, disabled on sm. fixed income with chronic health problems, high functioning autistic (able to take care of myself except for reminders for now), and my two friends live in 2 other states. I do have children, but they have their own health problems. I have put off worrying about this until now, guess it is time to start planning... @belarte7063
No sir. There is no advantage for women I assure you. From the day her mother dies, a woman is left alone to shift for herself. Tough old world for all of us, eh?
@@belarte7063
The LORD BLESS you and Keep you Well ✝️♥️♥️♥️
I have children but I don't want to burden them when I get older.
We need to build a community with each other so we all can help each other.
I'm 63 years old, widowed and no children. I have four nieces and nephew on one side of my family which one I have not seen in more than 10 years. My husband's side I have two nieces who have also not spoken to me for about 10 years. And they all live out of state or Upstate for me. I never imagined I'd read in the comments how many people actually have children who don't have any communication with them or don't care about them! Our society is completely broken and all I can do is pray for people and pray that God brings our families together so that no one has to die alone in their old age. Or to live alone and not have anyone to rely on for socializing or holidays or special times like birthdays. It's extremely sad to me
Life's a bit challenging 😮 then you die😂
I think that scenario has existed for a long time. This is not a modern phenomenon.
Good morning I’m 61 with no children I have a lot of fear about getting fragile and ending up in some kind of home where my rights are taken away I lift weights to keep my muscles strong and I make sure I get enough protein vitamin D3 and zinc. I’m hoping if I keep myself strong I will be able to live independently well into my 80s. My mother is 88 and completely independent My father is 91. Both sharp as whips But ya just never know how long they will live. All the best to all into your futures ♥️
Sounds like you are doing the right things to stay independent. Eating right, doing resistance training and getting the right vitamins is very important.
Lift heavy, squats, deadlifts etc. Eat lots of quality protein eg. meat, fish, chicken, dairy and eggs.
@@eatmeatandliftweights5754 I’ve been carnivore for 6 months now. It has healed my dry eye syndrome and I’m building muscle and toning up! I can’t believe this way of eating. The carnivore community people are so fantastic I use to have problems with hypoglycaemia and hypotension. Now that is in remission I pray I stay strong and sharp
@@AP-nx6xo
MEAT IS EXTREMLY TOXIC TO HUMAN'S BLOOD. Pls do a deep reseach on the Risks of carnovore diet !
No smoking or drinking and lots of water and protein and vitamins will help.
I am 50 years old, never married, no children and am a caregiver to my elderly parents. I am thinking about who will take care of me as I get older. I have 14 nephews and nieces, but I am not close to any of them. We talk, but to depend on them for my future needs I don't trust. I belonged to several churches, but not anymore. I have hope though. God has taken care of me this long, I know He won't stop taking care of me.
My stepmother got married at 57 and was married over 25 yrs with my father
Maybe You can get a boyfriend/ husband ?
53 single no children or pets and I take care of my elderly parents, but next year I will leave and it's up to my siblings
@@belarte7063
No, you don't want to marry for the purpose of having them take care of you in old age...what a silly suggestion.
You don't want to be a burden on your spouse either.
That is not always the answer go to find a man because you are getting older she said since God has brought her this far he's not going to abandoned her you see that where her faith came in stronger than a mustard seed.@@belarte7063
@@belarte7063terrible advice that I hope no one takes seriously.
I was a single mother of two children but I know I'm not going to be able to count on them to help me when I get older, I'm 63 now. Even my older daughter made it very clear she said "I will not have the money nor the time to take care of you". I'm just praying to God that I have a peaceful passing that I can just lay down and go to sleep and transition. I do know God provides.
You have some daughter....
how incredibly rude 😒 ..You know young ppl get in trouble also. Have seen 82 yrs old mother taking care of her 60 yrs old sickly daughter...
When your older daughter was a child, imagine yourself saying that to her. Of course you wouldn’t have . Unless a child was abused in some form or abandoned, I have a difficult time how they can turn their backs. Maybe they don’t have the money, time or emotional resources but they can talk and tell you what they are able to do.
Not trying to be rude but with that comment she made to you God will see to it that she live this earth before you do that terrible thing to say to your mother.
@@Chinaglo24 Lets not judge without taking the daughters point of view. We do not know that the daughter had a mother who was present for her. We do not know who burned the bridges.
@@sreangsuacharyya5788 ok, let's see if I'm understanding.
You're saying that we can't judge her daughter but, instead, we can judge the mother by implying she did something wrong to deserve this kind of response?
Please, can you elaborate how does this "don't judge the daughter but let's judge the mother" thing work?
Thank you. I'm 40. No children, don't want them...Now I'm thinking of my future as a lonely old lady and am ok with that. Need to plan now. Xoxo
@quetta,i am 47yrs, no husband&no children due 2 biological issues, stil longs 4 a child but painfully trying 2 make peace wid de fact Dat i Wil never ve one... But I am surprised dat even people wid children end up alone anyway(south Africa)
I’m 30 and planning but we should make a club for our younger gen planning for this lifestyle. It could be helpful.
My mother got married at 40 and had me ..that was long time ago...40 is still a baby these days
We should not count on our children. They are selfish and useless. Take care of yourself.
@@tessiefang762
It is not selfish to not want to sacrifice your life taking care of an elderly relative who has failed to plan for their old age.
No, you are not entitled to be a burden on your grown children, especially if you failed to plan for your old age.
I see that I'm not the only one who sacrificed and raised thankless children. I'm alone and will have to figure it out. I live in a building full of elder orphans. We look out for each other but sometimes it becomes too difficult to live alone. I would rather be dead than go to a nursing home.
Where is this building?
I like to move in.
The problem with adopting a family with inheritance as the collateral is that it may incentivize them to wish for your early demise . You may not know them as well as you think you do and it is a dark part of human nature . Also many Elderly Orphans may be single and childless because they are loner types making it more unlikely that they'll start reaching out and forming strong bonds in later life .
The idea that everyone is super social is problematic, as if all some of us have to do is "try harder". Also, married older women sometimes see single older women as a threat, even when we are not. If I socialize with moms and grandmas I'm left feeling like I have nothing to contribute. My life has been/is very different than most.
Celestial Circle dance- Just because your single and have no children does not mean your a loner. Are you aware some women cannot have children or some choose they do not want to raise a child.Think about that. Everybody's life path is not the same.
Yes you can't fake love it needs to be genuine I think accept where you are if you can afford it going back to back cruises
@@cynthiawarren9379 she didn't say that.
She said they "may be are the loner type".
Of course she's considering many other causes to be an elder orphan.
Same thoughts I have on this issue
My brothers 75 year old widow (6 years now) has no children and only has social security, she can’t afford to live on her own. I am a new widow (4 months) trying to get her to come live with me.
Before I married my husband I told him I want to take care my step Mother& one Aunt who raised me. I was adopted by my birth mother’s sister. My birth mother gave 5 of away to her sister. If you have a problem with this I won’t marry you. Also my cousin A we got raised together and he’s mentally slow. He likes working but he’ll only be able to hold low paying jobs. If he’s not married when we get old with no children I want him to come live with us. He said it was fine with him. That was in our mid 20’s here we are in mid 60’s my cousin is still working but he knows he’s welcome to live with us. I love my husband he so was especially kind to my mom, my Aunt. My rest of my family like him. He’s a hardworking, kind man. We raised two great children. I don’t want to see my cousin become homeless. I hope she decides to move in with you. Living on only Social Security is hard. Best Wishes
Great subject. My husband died 7 years ago. Praise God, he had life insurance. A month after the funeral, I went back to the mortuary and asked them to plan my final needs as well. I put it on a two year payment plan and now everything is paid for. This is a "gift" to/for my three adult children. What a relief it is for all of us. It was not morbid, but it is good planning. Make sure at least one of your kids know where all your paper work is. Someone has to be in charge when the time comes. You decide, while you can. Your kids will be so grateful. It is a great feeling. Now I am enjoying the rest of my life with peace of mind.
Yes, but i think the idea of this video is, if you don’t have children.
I love your response..
I hope the place does not go out of business.
9:51 @@acajudi100
I am 47, never married, and childfree. I have been thinking alot of these things lately. Thanks for doing this video. People have to understand that children aren't a 401k/pension plan.
lol yeah right.
Yes, children have their challenges today! In past generations and depending on culture too- children will take care or have to the time to be there for their parents. But we need to understand times have changed!
Then adopt or find a man
I sometimes feel like an elder orphan even though I have two children, both in their fifties who offer less and less support the more I struggle. Asking for even the simplest favors brings disappointment. I've toughened and managed to find forgiveness through love and meditation. Thank you Margaret, for your help and understanding.
I feel like an elder orphan, too. I have a son who is off living his own life and isn't part of mine. I worry about what will happen to me as I age..., particularly with disabilities.
I get it! my kids are close and keep telling me I need to give up my house. It is too big as is the yard. yet, help? not happening. I think our kids are just perhaps in too much denial. After all, we raised them. we were strong and resilient and now we aren't! That is a very difficult thing for kids to understand. I remember when I realized my dad wasn't the dad I had known. Sometimes it is just too hard for children to come to that realization. So I get it, though I too, am disappointed. I will probably die in this house I cannot manage anymore, where I sleep on the couch because I can't do stairs, where the yard is neglected when it once was a place where people asked to walk through. So yeah, I get it, and it really sucks.
If you treat your kids reasonably, won't they reciprocate when you are old? I can imagine maybe one will be a bad apple...where even if you treated them reasonably they treat you badly. But with two kids, if both don't treat you well...did you treat them reasonably when they were growing up?
My daughter has nothing to do with me either
good question, something went wrong somewhere along the way with their parenting but who wants to admit that, its always easier to play the victim
70 here, and an "elder orphan." I spent the last 10 years of my mother's life (she lived to be 102) as her caregiver, and often wonder what will happen to me. This video was perfect, and I will definitely check out some of the resources you list. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing!
@@sixtyandmein😅
I am an elder orphan also, and my siblings all live in other states and don't care.
I'm 45, single, no children. My grandma passed away 40 days ago at 98 years old. I was her caregiver for the last 10 years. My mom passed away years prior and I was also her caregiver. People can't understand the pain I feel. I miss her so much. I feel alone in the universe.
I am 66,divorced,no kids,estranged from my siblings and totally alone.guess that makes me an elder orphan.first I've seen of this 60 & me channel but I'll be back.
I'm 68, single, never married, no children. I set up a flow through will within a living trust, have already paid for my final resting place, but I worry about not having anyone to rely on to assist with financial and health issues.
Any siblings?
This is my concern as well. I’m 56. Never married and no children. I’m very afraid of living too long and unable to live alone. I hear such horror stories of abuse in senior living facilities. I don’t want to be in that situation.
One brother-we’re each other’s safety net.
Thanks. Will look into flow through will within a living trust. Worry as well. Was looking into facilities in safer areas in Mexico. The facilities look much warmer than in USA and cost effective. Wishing you good health and safety.
Is pour over will same as flow through will? Thanks.
I've found having pets is a way better option than children that aren't interested in your life in any possible way, apart from when they want something perhaps. Make so sure that one is never in a position where you will ever need to rely on them for anything, physical or emotional... ❤️ ❤️
That when pets could possibly become service animals and offer some assistance.
Yes but unfortunately pets will not really help with much other then fulfilling emotional needs and also when person dies their pets are being brought up to shelter and euthanized or stuffed in small cage 😔
1 in 5 families are now estranged! What has happened in our society? Many elder adults are this situation and do have sons and daughters. 😢
Feminism happened, and it continues to destroy the lives of men and woman who are trying to do normal things with their lives, that’s what happened.
I was watching my mom taking care of my grandparents. My kids were watching me taking care of my parents. My son is living with his in-laws. We would have a space in our daughter's house when we would not be able to take care of ourselves anymore.
That is a huge undercount, closer to 50%
I've written a letter to be passed out to my 19 nieces and nephews with my will. I'm not cutting them out of my will, but I express my grief that they've abandoned me and I hope this doesn't happen to them.
@@veramae4098 It would be interesting to see what would happen if you sent this to them while still alive. Maybe they would feel remorse and change their ways?
I have no family or children. But I was "adopted" by a young family" who checks on me.. But they are not in this state currently. Luckily I found a young professional organizer who will act like "boots on the ground" if something was to happen.. She knows where all the important papers are and has the phone number of who to call to get things done. I am very Blessed.
I am not an elder orphan, I'm a solo ager (check out Sara Neff Gerber's work). One mind set is empowering; the other is not. As a woman, I've been taking care of myself my whole life. That doesn't change just because I'm getting older. It just means I have to be more thoughtful and prepared in facing the last chapter of my life. And it is not fair to ask others, children or otherwise, to do this for you. Aging and dying happens to every one of us. Better to take responsibility, accept, and plan.
Thank you for sharing
I do not want my children to take care of me. I want them to visit and share the stories of their lives with me but i do NOT want them waiting on me or cleaning me or feeling like they have to give up time with their children or away from their needs for me. I will find someone else to do that sort of thing.
Yes, good for you! I'm caring for my bedridden mother. It's very taxing. I miss the days when I could just be her daughter. So tired of being her nurse, physical therapist, nutritionist, etc. etc.
I was survivivng independently and didn't feel old until 8 months ago when I fell and broke my ankle in 3 places. I had surgery then and still can't walk right, etc. A state worker was sent to my home and gave me the option of going into a nursing home where I would have to give up my little social security check, etc. etc. I said no, but I thought I'd be able to walk normally by now. There are other problems that I won't get into here. But I am having a hard time realizing that I am really all alone and now feel really old since that fall. It's like all my hopes and future dreams went out the window in a flash. All it took was one bad moment in life. Unbelievable!
Hi there. I can imagine how helpless and frustrated you feel. I don’t know your specific issues, but you should try to speak with your doctor about some ways. You might be able to move more effectively. Perhaps a walk or something that gives you more freedom. There is definitely that you have to make with your lifestyle, but you might want to check out somebody called Carol Marak - she has a Facebook group and I think her website where she talks to women who are in a vulnerable situation like you. Living alone. Please take good care.
I’m not even 60; I’m in my early 40s but I want to be prepared as a childfree woman. No regrets, though: A lot of parents don’t realize that their children aren’t a reliable retirement plan if they haven’t planned out the end of their lives.
it shouldn't be a "reliable plan" it's not a 401k and children aren't supposed to be tools that are loved conditionally
Nor should they be! Nobody should be having children just so someone will feel obligated to support them.
Sad that children don’t feel that they WANT to be there for their parents needs as they age. My son, I raised him on my own from age 2, doesn’t even communicate with me unless he want’s something. It’s been a year he doesn’t even answer my emails with a short sentence to let me know if he is well. I write every month , a few lines to let him know any news from home and always remember birthday and Christmas. He doesn’t answer though he once told me that he does read all my emails.
@@c8Lorraine1
Perhaps your son senses your attitude and that's why he keeps his distance from you?
What you need is a group of friends for your social needs and a reliable medical team for your medical caretaking needs.
Your son is not at your beck and call.
Making a child to take care of you in old age is abuse.
Im 65 but my face is still presentable. In the last year my hair is falling out at an alarming rate because of heart failure realities. My only sister moved 31 hours away. My children abandoned me because I'm not reliable and break promises because of my poor health. I no longer hear from the four of them or my 5 grand children.
I'm not even middle class and barely hanging onto my home month to month, eating only rice, eggs and frozen vegetables every single day to put a little money away in case of emergency or small home repair. I've kept my credit cards free from any balances because I cant really afford to use them. So I dont really hardly go anywhere except the drugstore for neds once a month and on that day hope I'm well enough to pick up the next months food. My bills are low because the house is dark except for the room I'm in, I dont use air conditioning and only heat the rooms I am sleeping or sitting in.
But now thanks to our screwed up government, prices are through the roof and I can afford less and less.
When it's almost the last day I can take care of myself, I'll leave my home and will it to the state with all my belongings and find a quiet barren empty place this lonely old unhealthy lady can pass away at.
Otherwise if it's an event, I dont want to be recessitated and can only hop I'll pass away quietly in my sleep one of these days. After a few months or so someone would eventually find my expired body after the utilities get shut off for non payment.
Meanwhile no one wants to listen to someone that only has their poor health to talk about and cant really do much anymore. No one wants to visit them. I do have a friend I buy dinner for every other month so she'll come and I can see her, she doesn't like talking on the phone or getting texts because she is very busy.
We're thrown away, told we're loved from a distance by others when we get to this stage.
No one knows what this is until they find themselves in this situation fully.
I have the beginnings of heart failure now, with COPD and a severe immune disorder that attacks my body's healthy tissue that's left with chronic inflammation.
Everyday I fight for air at times, deal with terrible pain and I do it completely alone. I can still make my own food and spruce up a room in the house here or there if I am having an exceptional day, but honestly those dont happen very often.
It is what it is...
Nothing is going to change it...
Today is another day, now I have to find the reason to want to get up and start my day.
Gaia Miranda, I totally understand you & have seen how ungrateful people abandon the ones who loved them so much & took good care of them. God will eventually returns people's actions back to them; it's just a matter of time & those who see the consequences of their wrong action here on earth, are far better off than when the soul leaves the body & there will be no chance to repent or make things right. I just have few suggestions that hopefully could be useful to you: 1) find out the phone number for the organization that has volunteers checking on seniors living alone by occasional visits and phone calls everyday 2) Please don't will your house to the state; SELL it if you can, along with other things in it & USE the money for your OWN benefit. I agree that ungrateful people who do not understand your situation & cease their contact with you over such minuscule things, don't deserve to inherit your house.
3) Some old stuff these days are far better in quality than the ones made within the past 20 years - mostly in China - and many people know it. Therefore, check your local Craig's List & also E-Bay to see how valuable your items are & be extra careful when you want to sell them. Even pretend that your children know who's coming to your home to purchase whatever. If you can, ask your friend and see if she can ask one of her children to be with you and help you out; then out of the sale of your items, you can pay him or her, something like 15 to 20 dollars per hour in cash.
Remember that for instance, each old plates with roses or other flowers and patterns, sell for 20 dollars each. Another option: contact a reputable consignment store in your area to come over & assess your items & furniture. Most of them do a 50-50 split of the sale of your items. Make sure you document whatever they take to their stores to sell (take photos & get receipts & put everything in writing and keep a signed copy by the store staff).
Once you sell your home and whatever you no longer need, you can use the money to maybe move to a community where people of your age live. You can even chose a reputable retirement home, the ones that are a bit more pricey than the government ran places or average private places where people in the same situation as yourself, live. In that case, make sure the place is only able to get a certain amount per month by electronic debit through your bank account, so that your money would be left safe.
ANOTHER OPTION: have a couple of tenants or housemates to live with you and have them sign a contract and pay the rent via depositing electronically to your bank account. Some people can hardly afford the sky rocketing rent payments, so you might be able to get for example, a single mother and her children to come and live with you, and pay their share of the utilities (again make certain you have a written contract and keep one copy for yourself in a self place). Take copies of their IDs and make sure your friend knows who are your tenants. You can do a credit check and even criminal record check prior to allowing them to move in. Make sure they have a source of income, and then you can offer a discount on rent in lieu of them making you meals, and do some light housekeeping.
I will pray for you. Please don't self sabotage. See if you can join a church and look for those organizations who have volunteers looking out for the elderly. Maybe your local Seniors' Resources Center would be good start to contact. You will be surprised how they have ways of helping you. The staff also help the elderly with rent contract writing and tenants and landlords' disputes. Please contact them; it won't cost you anything, and PLEASE ask JESUS Christ for help with all of your heart, and be patient to see how through him, God the father will open good doors for you. Whatever time we've left on this earth, no body knows, but it will be a shame not to go to God. By the way, I also heard that when the end comes, we must just call out to God to guide us and take us to himself and never listen to that voice which says come to the light, and just ignore it & call God to be with you and take you home. That "light" is said to be Lucifer's way of fooling the souls & prevent them from going up, and after the souls get fooled by him & go to the light, they will see that there's actually another hole leading back to earth & into another body & becoming slaves of Satan again. So please believe that God is the answer. Peace and blessings be upon you. I wish you safety, better health, getting out of loneliness and all the good things you can have.
The other person who commented has some very good ideas. I know it is hard, life is so hard. I pray for strength for all of us, and for you, and that God will heal us of what ails us physically. mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Hello, yours was a very sad story, but you wrote it so well. I am sure there was just a tiny hint of humour in there. Maybe you could write about your life or take up writing a daily journal? Just a thought😊
God bless you
Hello , even I feel like that ,on one of my bad days , & hope I pass off peacefully in my sleep
This is my biggest fear. I bought my condo where it has everything, busses, gym, theater, all different things to do. But seniors are more like being in high-school. Gossip is rapid.
I am 30 years old now. I now know due to this “isolation culture” that I will need to rely only on myself 😎 for living and future retirement 👍🏾💃🏽
Very important topic and well handled, thank you so much! Tday I accidentaly met a woman- veteran of 2WW, she had fantastic attitude, she was in shape both physically and mentally, but completely alone...she stopped me in bakery for help with her bags, ended up having a nice chat and walk. Talking with her about my concerns about age, listening to her gave me a lot of courage for the future! 💪😊😊😊🥰
I'm 66 and divorced/widowed, living with my 27-year-old daughter who is also single. I moved in with her as an experiment. We've found it works great. We're like roommates, even starting a nonprofit together. I am very healthy and active, and find that living with a millennial is a plus. The big thing is keeping a positive attitude and not being a burden on others. A dear friend is 71 years young and lives in a shared residential situation. What we've found, is that aging is a joy when you're content and the people around you are content with their lives. Nowadays, with the high food prices, it seems that many of us are finding creative ways to enjoy our senior years.
I am 66 and my son works for me. He is also single and thinking of doing the same; he is Gen X.
That is so cool that your daughter will live with you! I wish mine wanted to visit me.
My elderly mother refuses to move to my state and allow hubby and I to care for her. She has a neighbor that she just loves... I am planning on talking to Mom about putting this neighbor on the payroll. She only needs help for an hour or 2 a day, and she would get to stay in her own home. The neighbor needs the money, and a flexible side gig might be a win-win situation.
Sounds like a win win if all agree.
Here I am watching this having 4 sons but NOT wanting to burden them with my elder years. They deserve to enjoy their entire life. I am beginning now to plan for my care. I am 47 and I refuse to allow my sons to sacrifice their own families for me. They owe me nothing. Wish me luck y'all🤗
They owe you their lives. 😮
@mimime9968 I respect your opinion. My opinion differs. I choose to plan to be responsible for ME. They will have wives and children. One already does. Why would I burden them w more? I've seen this burden 1st hand w my gma. She wasn't happy and neither were her daughters who had to interrupt their lives every month when it was "their turn." I'm responsible for my care. No one else. So I'm planning ahead. Just my way not for everyone but it is for me❣️
47 is nothing..get married and You will have caretaker and good times
Excellent plan!!! Yes, you never want to burden your family or friends.
You sound commendable!
@@mimime9968
No, they don't. Children do not ask to be born and it is selfish to have children for the purpose of burdening them in your old age.
I think even if you have a spouse and a child/children, you should still decide this for yourself. You never know what will happen - and you could suddenly find yourself single. I was recently at my annual checkup, and for the first time my doctor asked me if I had a healthcare proxy, and an end of life strategy - not sure I was ready for this, but good to get all your ducks in a row!
I think Medicare is now paying doctors to address this.
Mk
I'm one of them, no children and no partner, making myself lots of thoughts about this subject, would like to plan and do something about it before it's too late. But I don't see having children or partner as a garanty for the future, then I've seen many women, who thought, that they weren't alone, didn't take the responsiblity for their own lifes and immense dissappointed. Live doesn't develope always the way we think. I checked the article and the webside from Carol Marak, found it quite interesting. This topic is for all women very important.
Your videos are so encouraging. I am in my 80s and fortunate to have a house that so far I can manage to maintain. However, realizing that the time will probably come when I need more help I decided a few years ago to work on getting rid of my mortgage so that money can be available to spend on getting help with maintaining my home as I never want to go into a care home. I did it by being more frugal and this year that goal will be complete. I feel fortunate to be the kind of person who enjoys living alone. I do have 2 children but one of them has decided to estrange from me. I'm still in the process of coming to terms with that. That's my story and sharing it is helpful to me and hopefully will be helpful to others in some way.
Try to stay in your home and you can get a helper for the evenings until early morning. Avoid a nursing home or similar facility.
These are GREAT tips! Many more of us are aging without children. Men as well as women. I particularly liked the idea of co-habitation. Good roommates are cool in our 20s--why not in our 60s, 70s, 80s or even older! And the social component is crucial. My wife's Mom is now in the need of home care or assisted living. She has allowed herself to become desocialized over the past several years, and it presents some challenges as we look for care! Really appreciate your content and you're doing important work. Thank You!
Not everyone wants a roommate, though and some roommate situtations don't work out.
Besides, you don't want a roommate just to take care of you unless they are a healthcare worker who you or your health insurance has hired.
You are doing an incredible job of educating elders. Your tips are quite practical. Keep educating folks. Stay blessed. Regards
Guys can be in the same boat to. I'm an adopted child (now in my early fifties), no siblings, parents both gone, no children and single for more years than I care to remember. I choose to be single and love the single life, so I'm not complaining, but getting elderly is definitely something I'm starting to think about a lot more now, particularly when it comes to health and brain function. Fortunately I have a very challenging technical job which keeps my brain active but I do need to start exercising more.
I am a retired professional nurse. I purchased high end long term care insurance before I turned 50 as I saw firsthand what can happen when family is expected to be caregivers for any compromised person; it is unsafe for both the non-professional caregiver as well as the patient. I would never put that responsibility or stress on my son or my spouse.
Hello Athena. This is such wonderful advice. I think so many people would benefit from understanding what can happen when you own your 70s 80s and how expensive it is. You made such a wonderful decision. Thank you for sharing.
I am 60 now and I am estranged from my 2 adult children. I tried to establish a relationship with my kids but their father fled the country when I won custody. By the time they came back into the country they were old enough legally to choose to live with. They chose him. It’s been 12 years since I’ve seen them. I’ve been wondering how life is going to be growing old alone.
So sorry that happened to you
Why did they chose him and not you ?
@@sreangsuacharyya5788I think a better question is; why can’t they choose to have a connection with both parents. I suspect an alienating strategy happening. A lot of adult children have no concept of compassionate caring for immediate family. There are exceptions where abuse is in their history growing up.
she knows but won't say
@@sreangsuacharyya5788it could be they were young when they were taken and they didn't grow up with her. They were used to living with the father.
I'm 65 and am currently my mother's caregiver. I am married with no children. My husband dores not know how to take care of another person. He means we'll but does not see how much care my mother needs now and thinks I do nothing. In the meanwhile, I have to make three meals a day for her, give her her nedkcation , check herbicide and blood pressure, bathe her, clean up her messes, do all of the shopping, addition so laundry (mom is incontinent), was dishes, take her to multiple doctors which requires the use of a transport wheelchair. She out weighs me by 80 lbs, so lifting the wheelchair over doorways, etc is heavy. Since he does my srr
I'm 40 so i have nothing observations since I am not there yet. My spouse and I care for our older relative and one thing notice is that it's hard for her to be flexible in accepting that she needs to do things differently than she has in the past. She is lonely but doesn't want to leave the house to make friends or join a class. At some point you have to be a little flexible. She is not interested in learning new things in order to have relatable conversations with younger people and just wants to talk at you instead of conversing with you. All of this makes it harder than it needs to be. I'm learning that I don't want to be like that. Hopefully I'll learn to be different.
My mil. Always saying she's lonely but finds fault in anyone and everyone who tries to befriend her. She's 86 with no major health issues. She's weighing her son down
“Adopt a family “ this is such a sweet and beautiful idea. Humans are meant to be in social groups.
And there may be women who were married and had a child, but the child died at some point in their youth. (I was born with hydrocephalus, and was not expected to live very long; now I'm middle-aged.) There's also the issue of parents who have mentally disabled children (regardless of age) who still live with them, and may not be able to take care of their parents when the time comes.
I know a few situations like this. It is scary. Depending on where a person lives, there can be organizations that will help with planning for disabled children once the parents can no longer do it.
Very important and relevant topic, Margaret...thank you. We have to be real about this, as aging brings many issues with it. I would NEVER assume that my kids would take care of me, and I'm widowed, so I'd better start planning for this possibility. I'm in the process of prepaying my final arrangements, but, this needs the same attention. It's not like back in the day, when adult kids looked after their parents. Sadly, that's the exception now, and not the rule. I don't want to depend on my kids for anything. Not many support groups, and friends or roommates are difficult to find. Take good care, and stay well. Rosemarie 💖
Some of us sacrificed to raise a handicapped child/ren. Men often desert in these instances. You forgot us. Everyone does 😢
Approaching 60, single no kids. My 3 sibs and I are sharing care for my elderly mother. So glad we had the parents we did, and we all turned out as adults the way they had tried to rear us to be. I think that idea of community is key. As for me, I personally hope I am not going live to the age of my mom. Well I guess i mean I hope I do not outlive my ability to care for myself.
I have no children and no husband but I'm only 36 and hope to never have them. Without the burden of having them, I hope to live to at least a hundred. But if I were to have them, I would not survive even a decade. Decades of extra life is a great deal for having noone "official" to care for me. Anyways, you inspire me!
Are you aware that women who were never pregnant and had no children are prone to have more health issues on their older years than those who had kids?
Thank you for your talk. This is such an important issue and one close to my heart. Once we get to a certain age it is so important to put our affairs in order whilst we still have the mental capacity to do so
I’m a disabled 27 year old and I’m watching this because it’s more than likely that this will be my future. Thank you ma’am! You look fabulous.
I’m very glad that you’re here. It’s difficult to accept her physical limitations. I hope that you find some good advice. Here you’re welcome to be here.
@@sixtyandme thank you :)
I do have children. They are good but I don’t expect them to help me 100% because they have their own family to take care of. Need to be prepared when the time comes that I can’t be independent anymore.
This is really great. Thank you. It’s highly unfortunate that men over 60 without children do not come together and support each other as women do here.
This applies to men, too.
I have an Estate Plan and a Financial Power of Attorney, but that's established for a real disaster, not pragmatic issues for minor surgeries, etc. So, it's the support for smaller issues that's a real problem and cause of anxiety.
I'm going through a divorce, but as soon as I am out of this mess, I am going to get my affairs in order, and buy a small one-story house where I can spend the rest of my years filled with peace, quiet, pets, friends, and lots and lots of travel. I have been saving and investing for retirement, but I'm not opposed to working until I'm 70, if I can, to get the fullest SS benefits, and to let my nest egg grow. I have one son, who cares for me, but honestly would not be the best caregiver, so I will look into long-term care insurance or see if I will have enough to self-insure. I have learned that there are only a few people I can truly count on in this world, and they are older than I am, but I will do my best to have their back, and I know they will do their best to have mine.
I don’t have kids but what is going on these days with all the estrangements? When I was young I didn’t know any adults whose kids didn’t talk to them. What has changed? It’s so sad. I’m fortunate to come from a close family but even if not I’d think it would have to take something really bad to totally abandon my parents. You’d think if the kids had kids, they could see how painful it is to their parents.
Am 27 and am already looking into this, I never had a relationship and am sad to say my family tree will end with me. But I hope when am old I would just like to continue working in my Future job Animation non stop since I be alone so working will get my mind off begin alone.
My mother had me at 40 and my father was 50...27 is so young ..omg
@belarte7063 it's fine , I been single since brith and never been attractive to most people very rare but even then I gotten rejected twice and gave up, am 28 and already have my Will. Don't wish to reach old age it scares me due to no family and don't want to waste the hospitals time on me.
@@unisangalaxystudio maybe you have depression? ..it can mimic things..
U can also adopt a child
If u dont like ppl in general maybe u like animals and wu would like to help rescue foster
@belarte7063 not sure if adopting is a good idea in today's economy, as for a pet yea I had a dog but she passed away in 2016. Don't want another dog it's also expensive.
@@unisangalaxystudioMy kitty passed away last fall. I am sorry for the loss of your dog. I haven't gotten another in part because they are expensive.
Only 17% of elderly adults are being cared for by family members. That coupled with a growing shortage of low paid health care workers and a shortage of Medicaid nursing home beds... Taking excellent care of your own health and saving every penny you can while you are young may be the few options we can control. End of life care is $6,000 to $10,000 per month for skilled care. I fully expect there will be big changes in societys views on end of life choices and care over the next 20 years.
I think you've missed the most important point. When a person goes into a nursing home they are at risk for being abused. They need someone to visit them regularly to make sure they don't have a neglected UTI or some other painful condition much less physical abuse. Some women have had children die. It's not like they're just separated from their children.
When you have four elderly women living in a house together they are almost all incompetent in their 80s. They can't care for or make decisions for themselves let alone each other. Both my grandmother aunt and my mother had to have someone make meals for them and escort them to the hospital for tests. One needed a walker and none of them could drive due to night blindness and cataracts.. They needed to rent a room in a caring person's home. Their minds were perfectly fine. My relatives hadd help fortunately. Have you ever been in a nursing facility? It's filled with people with dementia. It's not a place where you can have a conversation . It's not a place for women whose bodies are simply getting older.
As far as possible , elders should stay in their own homes and not in LTC. You are known by your neighbours.
It's dangerous
My secretary was in her 60s. Never married or children. She took care of another woman.
One of my best friends, disabled male Marine. Would drive older women to do their shopping.
Me? Widowed and raised a little one. Now in late '70s. I already have the trust/will. I doubled checked with the lawyers. Not able to take advantage of any government program that would provide long term care.
What I can do? I keep reducing the clutter in my life while I am still healthy. Two storage units - gone. Clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't fit, broken items that are in need of repair and which will never be repaired, books that I have read, cook books, tools I will never use again, business records, forms files, back up documentation from old tax returns - all gone. The most important things - the car, the house are clean and not in need of repair. The dishes are washed, the food stuffs exist that I can take car of myself for a couple of weeks without requiring assistance.
Can’t believe how many comments completely miss the point. The video clearly mentions other videos that talk about estranged family, that’s not the topic, if you family is, for all intents and purposes, absent then the advice is totally relevant. If your family isn’t there, then behave and plan as if you are single. No need to be critical just because your family is no better than no family.
Great subject. I’m in this boat. Sixty, single and no children.
I am married, but no children. I'm meeting a LOT more people in our 60s and 50s without children. I believe we're a growing demographic!
@@thebig60life57 hopefully thats a trend and by the time I am old there will be good communities and system to make sure you are doing good even without children, because I am at age when I should have children but really I do not want to make my life bad with them just to have a chance that they will help me when I am old.
All by ones SELF!!! A FREE SPIRIT!!! 66 yrs. Seasoned. No no no ties !!! No one to bother. Drug free!!!! No harmfull habits. No jobs. Disabled person..
.
In my observation every one of us needs to take responsibility for our own needs as we get older. No one can count on help from any family member or friend. Also, we all need to adapt to changing circumstances. I like the idea of older people living together in a group.
When the time comes for you to move into a nursing home or retirement center, it’s really not what it’s demonized to be. They have movie nights, a newsletter, WI-FI, a TV in each room, community areas where you can talk with others or do puzzles or crafts, and some even have resident pets or visiting pets that come through. Most have outside gardens or recreation areas that can be accessed. They are not just a place to go and wait for the end anymore.
I'm 77, a widow. My children live in a different country. I am totally alone & disabled.
Adopt someone to be there for you every time
I too have no children to care for me and sometimes have concerns around this issue.
adopt a family: yeah but choose wisely. you never know how a person will behave in difficult moments until it's too late. I learned it the hard way these past few months. so if you are a good judge of character, be my guest. if you are not, believe me, don't.
share a household: I'll try this I think. just need to find my perfect formula. I think it is safer to rely on people who understand your situation, so being surrounded with elder orphans too is the better option.
I also think that I am just going to start my own group as I think I won't find one in France. it will be easier and nearer anyway. so if there is no group near the place you live, just start one too!
and the last thing I thought about was to participate to activities near my home: sport, charity, clubs and association about your hobbies, gardening in your yard if you have one, and share advises with people who love it too, etc.
thanks for sharing!
What of those who live alone like me with social anxiety? The idea of living with someone eles or adoping a family is a massive challenge. I notice this video is a few years old also l get the feeling it's more for women in America.
Do your best to stay independent for as long as possible and don’t do anything that goes against your true self as that will just lead to more anxiety and regret. You will be ok. We all will.
So much sharing on this video! No children! Last member of my initial family! Love to you all! Keep sharing we have this ! This is a family!
I am alone and 81 at the moment, my family is also old and away for100 miles and i don’t think that a woman who is 60 can understand!
Oh yes, we can. When you cross 55, you are crazy aand delusional if you're not envisioning your real future.
Welcome to the USA.There is a diffence between here and some other countries. My Aunts and Uncle would make sure someone would visit my grandparents every day. This was in Belgium. The government paid for a cleaning women to come by every two weeks. As time went by, my cousins did this for my aunts. The government helped supplement. Here in the States I helped take care of my mom, even though she insisted on living in a Senior Community that provided for all the stages of Elder care.
Welcome to the USA.
I live alone and don't have children. I set up an Advance Health care , only takes effect if I become unable to make my own health care decision. I also have a living will and a Will made plus my funeral arrangements are made too. Not taking any chances. 😊
Good for you!
Your makeup looks wonderful, especially your eyeshadow. So lovely and tasteful.
Thanks for the informative video. I am one of 4 elder orphans. My younger brother (late 50s) has a son. My nephew lives across the country with his wife and kids. The rest of us never had kids. My older sister is married, but they both have health issues. My older brother is widowed and has health issues. I never married and have health issues. My younger brother broke up with his fiancée not long after my nephew was born, and now my younger brother has health issues. Our parents are gone, but our stepmom is still around, but she has health issues too. I'm hoping to see her in early May, after she migrates north for the summer (snowbird). She has her kids and grand kids to help take care of her, but we don't have anyone except each other. We get along with our step relatives but aren't close, and they aren't responsible for taking care of us. We have done the paperwork for medical care, wills, etc., but that doesn't replace having someone to check on you, and help you out when necessary. When I was 8 years old I decided to never marry or have kids. I will be starting on Medicare in June, and have never changed my mind. However, I am aware that the choices we make have consequences. Being an elder orphan is one of my consequences. My brothers live just a few towns away, so we do look after one another. My sister and her husband live in a neighboring state. They look after each other, and my brother-in-law has some family still living, but like the rest of us, they have health issues too. I am interested in those resources you mentioned I hope that they can be of some help.
Thank you for this video, Margaret, which describes my situation (never married, no children, and no close family except for a cousin my age). I have to look into getting an elder-care attorney. As for Carol Marak, I attempted to join her FB group years ago, before the pandemic, but was rejected because I didn't have a photo of myself as a profile picture which I found arrogant and offensive; even if I had provided a photo, how would she know for certain that it was me...or would she ask for proof of that also? I would assume that I am not the only senior without a personal profile picture, and it is no one's business as to why I or anyone else choose not to have one. I was immensely put off and feel that spoke to her character overall.
I am married but my husband's is older and chronically ill. We live on way less than $20,000 a year. Luckily we own our home and no longer own a car. We have public transit, which is free, taxes, Senior Transport and I love walking. We live right downtown in a progressive small city. I wish you would address issues that affect women living on low income or poverty. I am an old hand at economizing but some of us must consider we may be left alone with half our income gone and no life insurance or retirement. We lost our investments due to illness and family issues. Social Security is it. We have a small gallery business in our home but it is closed right now due to the pandemic. I plan to develop it more as it is not even close to a living.. We are also limited because if we earn too much income we will lose our Medicaid. We do have Medicare but the Medicaid supplements it. Many are in my situation and not in as good a place.
being old really sucks. Maybe need to do like my grandparent - just drink cheap alkohol whenever you can and die . Of course ideally would not want to end my life like that. And he was getting pension, he had caring daugher - my mom. He could have lived longer with his pension if he would not use alcohol so much.
What City do you live in? Small progressive city with good pubic transportation sounds great? Medical Care good?
@@sandrarose5917 We live in Fayetteville, Arkansas in Northwest Arkansas.
I say it's best to have a medical professional as your health care proxy and medical professionals taking care of you in old age.
They usually don't have a vested interest in you making a certain decision and they are not after any inheritence or property from you the way non-professionals can be.
I say that's better than trying to "adopt" a family.
Yes, social connections are important, but you don't want to befriend somebody hoping that they'll take care of you in old age...that's a wrong reason to friend somebody.
Very interesting! I recently thought of making my doctor my proxy.
@@dammar117
Great idea! I think it's best to have several people on your medical team act as health care proxies in case one person is not available.
My father used to say: when you're old all your distant acquintances become family!
I did eldercare management for my parents for 15 years and wouldn't wish the burden on anyone. My spouse is great but has more health issues and I anticipate I'll be the survivor. Now that I approach this life stage, there's a few things I need to add or update, but the base is in place.
I am so glad i never had any kids....i instinctively knew it would be a thankless endeavor.....
I am 70 and have three loving children and a daughter who has said that I am never putting you into a home. If you have a loving relationship is something you have the rest of your life.
I instinctively knew it would be a thankless endeavor too!
I think statistics show that daughters are your best bet for being cared for in old age. (Out of sons and daughters that is.)
LoL I appreciate folks like you because I survived a toxic abusive childhood with 2 parents very self centered and business career orientated whereby the right thing to do would have been for them to not have kids and just focus on the endless pursuit of career and financial success. I, of course co-parented and raised other peoples kids and yes it ends up a thankless endeavor. Yes there were those fun loving moments and ego strokes for job well done BUT in the end if I out live my mate I will be orphaned and alone. And my egocentric greedy siblings took all the inheritance last year just to punish me for leaving the toxic soup thirty years ago.
Are you serious
So what is your plan after
Thanks for an interesting video.
And it's not just women who find themselves heading towards old age without a spouse or children.
Great topic and content. No kids, nephews live many states away. Have maintained great, older friendships. Still, I can see where certain health issues could pose challenges down the road...
I personally don't want to put that burden on my only child...which is why I'm watching.
It's to bad that these days we have to refer to being a burden to our children in our remaining years.
I just saw Carols video in elder orphans. 👍
Thank you for this information. Fortunately I have a daughter who looks out for me (I am 85). I have concerns about her because she will be an "elder orphan" once I am gone. I will pass this information on to her; one more issue that will allow me to pass in peace. PS: Having family control your later years isn't always that desirable. In any case, end of life is simply another (huge) life challenge.
Join a church! A gospel preaching church is a wonderful family. We take care of our family!
I am 85 years old and live on my own but I am blessed with three children, one boy and two girls. They check on me constantly but I , also do not want to be a burden to them. They would take me in, but they have to work and would not be able to be with me throughout the day. I pray that God takes me quickly like He did with my husband.
Apologies, but I am in fact commenting before watching. I'm a woman in this wonderful childfree spousefree life and I can see that having a nuclear family is as likely to be a burden on a woman as a support system. I'm not being cynical and I love to see people who are happy, whatever their life choices may be. As for me, I've lived common law, but the "spinster" lifestyle is the best. My strategies include: financial responsibility, health responsibility (100% healthy & delicious PLANT BASED FOOD) and daily exercise, friendships, and meaningful LIFELONG work.
I happen to be fortunate to live in a country that provides FREE HEALTH CARE. To all you Americans: Get your regime to implement Universal Health Care. For goodness sakes, I can get care of equal or better quality for free to what you folks pay dearly or even go into debt for!
Not interested in being euthanized
I’m so glad you are happy but as an American I don’t ever want my government in charge of my healthcare. I prefer to buy insurance and in reality it isn’t much different from paying exorbitant taxes to have “free” healthcare. Our system isn’t perfect but most of us are happy with it.
@@joycewright5386 I can understand your position and it might be too difficult to charge the system you're in, but my government is definitely not in charge of our healthcare system - not in the sense of any government body making decisions about health care options or availability. I don't pay a lot in taxes either. But I respect your opinion and the fact that it's challenging when you live in the third most highly populated country on Earth.
We can't just "get our regime (????) to implement universal health.
@@mmraike Can I ask what country you are in? You approve of the healthcare system there?
This subject is great. We are living longer and it’s not fair to burden our children with our care. I am alone and widowed in Canada and my daughter lives in the US. I looked at the reality a long time ago and kept myself healthy, always had a dog and made sure I had my own condo . Also funds are needed to get cleaning people in etc. joining a seniors club is very helpful. If I become ill with no future I as others will take MAID. This service helps you depart this world as soon as two doctors clear you. My best friend of sixty years recently took it due to bad osteoporosis, I was there and it took five mins. That’s my plan.
I really respect your decisions and you are thinking about this. It’s very beautiful to know you have it all organized and I’m sure your daughter appreciates that too. Here’s to many more years.
If you have enough money saved up, you could probably hire a full time live in housekeeper who can cook, clean, do laundry for you, help u pay your monthly bills, do your grocery shopping etc.. But please make sure you do full background checks before you hire someone and that you get the full report because websites where you can hire a full time housekeeper may or may not tell you everything about the person
It's even more challenging if your soul and body needs to live alternatively. Could not get the C-vax so am shunned by many and not allowed into joint households or care facilities. Feel terrible on refined and commodity foods used in assisted living communities and eat fresh from farmer's markets. Use alternative healers and am extremely healthy and on zero meds in my elderhood. But this way of living is eye-rolled and seems like a trivial thing to let go of if necessary by most people. For those like this, though, it isn't negotiable. It isn't about "belief" it's that we've tried to live "normally" and discovered the hard way we can't live that way. So it's hard to find places and people who resonate with.
So many don’t shut things down, and prepare for death and poor health. At 50 I started to think about the process. Self delusion is a dangerous practice.
Downsize, aim to live in a studio or room. Stop buying unnecessary junk. Plan to end up in a nursing home. Pay attention to your mental and physical health, and plan accordingly.
Are you helping seniors? Why do you think anyone will want to take that on. Be realistic and honest with yourself.
I am over 40, single and CF. I am not sorry, quite the contrary. I believe that being forced to take care of my own self in my old age makes me a better, more mature person than those parents or relatives who are expecting things from their younger relatives. The truth is that no one owes anyone care, unless it is paid for. It is utterly unfair to have expectations about other people and it is also rather childish. Children are not meant to be a retirement plan for their parents. Parents must understand that they have obligations and not rights over their children, no matter their age. If a child is willing to take care of their parents, good; if not, that's good too. Children should not be held accountable for their parents, they did not ask to be born. They didn't have the choice to exist or not, their parents did it on their own. Holding them responsible for a moral contract they did not have the chance to decide to sign or not is simply morally wrong.
Great comment. Once we realise no one owes us anything, it can be very freeing and liberating.
Spot on!!
Can't agree more 👍
I am a Latina, and in my culture, family takes care of each other, not out of obligation but out of love and respect.
I will be 67 soon, and have 2 daughters, but neither one are in my life, so will not be getting any help from them. I live alone and would like to age in place until I can no longer take care of myself. I will consider alternative housing options, such as assisted living. My final resting place is taken care of.
However, I do need to consider how my final expenses will be taken care of since neither of my children want that burden. I guess I have a lot of things to work out before I go. It occurs to me that I need to think of these things sooner than later. Thank you for the information!
One has to be careful because there are unscrupulous people out there who will financially exploit or take advantage of the elderly.
74, widowed, no children or family. My trust / will and DNR is set up and attorney will take care of everything. Funeral arrangements made .
That's great! I'm 59 and doing the same thing.