Oink Oink.. I am looking at the Tree.. standing and it is so Hot.. I see the Sun above me and It is so Hot out here.. sometimes I wonder why do I come to this Tree when it is in the Middle of the day.. when it is the Most hottest of the day.. But.. I have Your Picture with me.. I just love looking at YOU.. the Most Beautiful.. and before I came to this Tree.. I saw a field.. full of flowers and I would stop by to see this One Flower.. the Sun Flower.. and I remember I had to go and grab it.. before someone else can grab this Flower.. walking down.. I would start to sing.. I don't know where the song comes from but as I was walking.. holding the Sun Flower.. holding the Empty Glass Jar.. and I was told that there is a Big Heart.. it is sitting on the Top of a branch.. and told me to go and see it.. I wonder whose Big Heart it is.. but.. I received a Picture of YOU.. and it was a Drawing on a Piece of paper of a Big Heart sitting on top of the Branch.. I received it on the mail box and when someone told me about the Big Heart sitting on the Top of a tree on the Branch.. I smiled and knew whose Heart it is.. SO I would come to this Tree.. Before I was stopped by the Tree.. the field and the Sun Flower.. in the Room I had to go and grab the Empty Glass Jar.. just in case if The Big Heart falls off.. I want to use this Empty Glass Jar to catch Your Heart.. I have placed soft cottons.. many many around.. so fluffy and so soft so that the Heart will not get hurt.. I have come to this Tree.. I know if someone has spotted the Big Heart.. I am sure more people are able to see this Big Heart.. I don't want any one to take Your Heart.. But.. I can't believe it.. I see few people surrounding the Tree.. Cameras are flashing.. finger points at the Big Heart and I would hear some boys talking about getting to that Big Heart.. I am wondering.. there is a large numbers of people here and more people are coming to this Tree.. I turn and next to me is another man.. He has a empty Glass jar and turns and looks at me.. I am holding the same glass jar.. I smile big because I have placed a SUN FLOWER inside the Glass Jar.. so I know that when your Big Heart is able to look.. YOU can look at the Head of the Sun Flower.. so that YOU will know that it is me.. I want to give YOU this Flower.. in the middle of the day.. more people comes to this tree.. but many just stand around and complains it is so hot.. and starts to leave.. I am waiting for the people to leave.. I just want to be here alone and I will wait until all People goes.. people are talking.. and hungry.. I am waiting still.. as I am waiting for the time for all these people.. fifty people.. and I see the numbers goes down.. and It becomes Night.. I see the Moon comes UP.. and I see the stars shine.. I can't believe it.. the Man with the empty glass jar is still here with me.. I think He does not want to leave.. what am I suppose to do.. He keeps on looking up.. waving the Empty Glass jar around.. I smile because the Big Heart.. YOUR Big Heart is still sitting on the TOP of that Branch.. He be waving all through the day.. and I see that He is tired.. and he looks at me.. puts his head down and starts to walk off.. I am so glad.. so happy that everyone is gone.. I am able to take out the Picture of YOU.. Paste it and stick it on the Tree.. I am able to look at your picture.. do I get inspired by your Beauty.. I do love that YOU are so Beautiful.. I am Not going to lie to you that YOU are so amazingly Beautiful.. so Beautiful that I would walk close.. and press my lip on the Picture of YOU.. I will say.. MY MY.. YOU are so Beautiful.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. what if my eyes decides to leave me.. my eyes can cry looking at your picture and will ask my Hand to open wide and both eyes can fall off crying because when I look at YOU through the Picture.. my Heart catches on fire.. it burns me from the inside.. I feel so Hot suddenly because my eyes look at your picture and I would say MY MY.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I would be looking at Your Picture.. I would place the Glass Jar down.. PULLING out the Sun Flower and I would be looking at you through the Picture.. I want to give you this flower.. How can I give you this Flower.. Please tell me How.. I been waiting out here.. I been waiting where it be YOU and I alone.. in the middle of the Day.. it was pretty crowded.. and many people were waiting too like myself.. wanted to see Your Big Heart.. wanted to get close to Your Big Heart.. I know that Your Heart is sitting way up on the Top of the branch of this Tree.. I would look around.. I saw many people come.. even people would be leaving.. another group of people comes.. every time I wanted to pull out Your Picture and paste it on this tree.. I would hear group of people.. voices talking.. I would grab Your Picture pulling back to the pocket.. and I had to just stand here all day.. the SUN had to go down because people still came around.. and at last.. all of the people are gone.. but.. all the eyes were looking at.. It is Your Big Heart.. I even brought the empty Glass jar.. do YOU see it on the ground.. when I received a Picture of YOU.. and also a sketch drawing of Your Big Heart sitting on the top branch of the Tree.. I was so excited because I knew that YOU were telling something.. I would be standing by the window of my room in the House.. asking for Your Heart.. I be asking and asking.. begging for Your Heart.. I been praying if I can have Your Big Heart.. of course I would always ask.. never stopped asking.. keep asking until the answer would be answered.. so I would keep on trying.. asking.. give me a sign.. send me a miracle and I guess YOU must heard me.. I am here by this Tree.. and you gave me the answer.. telling me where Your Heart is.. but Why did you choose on this tree.. this tree is so Big.. I am so small compared to the size of this Big Tree.. I am thankful you gave me a sign.. But look at how tall this Tree is and how short I am compared.. I don't want to just stand here and look UP.. just wondering how I can get to that Big Heart.. as I am looking at your Picture pasted on this Tree.. I am holding the Sun Flower.. I want to give YOU this Flower.. But How.. if YOU are not here.. but Your Big Heart is way UP sitting on the branch of this Tree.. I want to give you this flower.. Tell me How can I give You this flower.. this SUN FLOWER first.. My next is.. I want to touch Your Big Heart.. is there a way I can touch and Hold your Heart.. my hands wants to touch and feel.. the warmth of Your Big Heart.. and My Arms wants to wrap around Your Big Heart.. I want to put my ear next to your Heart.. can I please listen to the beating of Your Big Heart.. I want to hear How Your Heart.. Your Big Heart sound.. I am here so I can ask YOU.. I want to get close to YOU.. I want YOU to know that I really want to get closer to YOU.. but Your Big Heart is sitting on the top of the Branch.. it is on the Highest Branch way UP there.. and YOU know that I am way down here on the ground.. so How do I get to that Big Heart.. It looks so beautiful.. I needs to Hear YOU.. I needs to tell YOU.. I want to talk to Your Heart.. but if Your Big Heart cannot hear me because I am way down here to the ground.. and Your Big Heart way UP on the top.. the highest branch of the Tree.. when I am looking UP.. do you know that my neck hurts.. that is How High it is for me to LOOK at Your Big Heart and yes.. I do see Your Big Heart.. it is so Big.. I am spreading my arms wide.. I want to hold Your big Heart.. and Hug Your Heart and say to Your Heart.. I been waiting for this day for a very long time.. to tell Your Heart How much I love YOU.. I want to bring Your Big Heart closer so that I can tell Your Heart.. speak to Your Heart and tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I wonder will you accept my words.. am I allowed to tell YOU this to Your Heart.. that I do love YOU.. what would happen if I get Your Big Heart closer to my lip and I can whisper to Your Big Heart.. I love YOU.. I know for me.. on my part to able to tell you these words.. I am going to be hopping around like a big kid.. because to able to tell YOU these words.. It is a miracle for me.. How can a person like myself be able to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. the I love YOUR BIG HEART.. will you allowed me to speak these words to Your Heart.. that is why I am here.. I am here at the bottom.. at the ground.. I am looking UP.. but I am able to look at your picture because it is pasted on the tree.. showing Your Picture I am holding something in my hand.. a Flower which I want to say it came from the Middle of the day at the hottest.. the SUN.. can I please give YOU this Flower.. I want to give you to tell you where my Heart is.. why I am giving this flower to YOU.. I know that when I do give you this Sun flower.. I know I be at the most happiest place.. and for YOU to receive it.. the JOY that YOU give me just to give it away.. as I am looking at you through this Picture.. why can't you answer me.. I needs to hear you say something.. but I am not hearing anything right now.. I needs to know.. I want to know.. so Please tell me.. I wants to hear YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture of YOU pasted on this tree.. I would look UP.. at the top branch of the tree.. YOUR BIG Heart still sitting there.. I want that Heart.. I want Your Heart.. NO matter how many times I tell YOU and ask your Picture.. YOU don't answer me.. I look UP at Your Big Heart.. is it because Your Big Heart just can't hear me what I am saying by looking at your picture pasted on this tree.. But I know that I am Not too far.. of course there is a distance.. but I am able to stand here and look UP.. I can see Your Big Heart.. I know that Your Big Heart can here me right.. I been asking and asking.. looking at your picture..
MAH MAH.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping.. and showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers..
MAH MAH.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU..I am looking at the Horse.. I would be grabbing unto the string and I would pull the Horse Out of the Barn.. and I would look at the Horse.. this Horse.. It has been here for a Long time.. I was told that my Father is the One who raised the Horse.. the same Horse that My Father would pull out of this Barn.. telling me when I was young.. my Father would father MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. he would sit the Princess.. MAH MAH on the TOP of this Horse.. as he would lead the Horse walking.. I remember my father told me to go to the Barn.. the same Horse.. if I am able to go to the Palace.. and able to get close and serve the princess.. MAH MAH.. to go into the Barn.. and to Sit the Princess.. on top of this Horse.. as I am looking at this Horse.. My Father use to Pull this string.. Now.. his SON.. as grown Now.. I am also able to pull the same String of this Horse.. as I would pull the string and lead the Horse.. I would stop by the Back of the Gate.. I would see the Palace Guard.. he is guarding the back Gate.. leading to the Chamber ROOM of the Princess.. the Palace Guard of the Gate looks at me.. and He knows me.. my friend.. and Opens the Door.. I would pull the strings of the Horse as I would go into the outer court and I would wait.. a Message came to me asking to Bring the Horse.. I would wait.. I just can't believe I am able to do this for YOU.. and I would wait.. there is a servant boy who sees me and I ask HIM.. can YOU call for the Princess.. she told me to come here with the Horse.. would you please call the princess for me.. and the servant Boy walks into and I see HIM coming out.. and I see YOU walking out of the Chamber ROOM.. and I say.. CONG JU NIM.. Can YOU please come on Over.. I have brought you this Horse.. as I am grabbing unto the string.. and I watch YOU coming Out of your Chamber.. as YOU are wearing the white Dress.. My Heart.. WHY do you have to look so Beautiful.. I can feel my Heart beating so Fast as I would watch YOU.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. Look at YOU.. can you feel my Heart CONG JU NIM.. and I am standing by the Horse.. I see two Special Guards guiding YOU and I see you walking closer.. and YOU stop.. Can I tell YOU something.. what I wanted to say for a Long time.. That YOU are so Beautiful.. I love when YOU wear that White Dress.. says YOU are a true Princess.. and I would go down.. and I be on my fours.. the two Guards who are standing next to YOU.. One takes you by your hand.. Your Legs gets Up as I can feel your feet getting up on my back and Unto the Horse.. the other Special Guard tells me to Get UP.. so I stand UP.. I see you sitting on the top of the Horse.. I am wondering.. How is this Possible.. I am suppose to die.. But.. How am I to be here.. I would turn to Look up at YOU.. MAH MAH.. WHY am I here.. What am I doing here.. and I would look Up at YOU.. I know that I can't be here.. But.. YOU are the One who find out a way for me to be here.. Can I ask YOU why.. YOU know that My life has no value compared to YOU.. and I see you Smile.. and you give me a sign to go.. SO I would be walking on the side.. hand grabbing unto the string of the Horse.. as I would start walking.. the Horse begins to walk next to me.. I start to feel the tears rolling Down.. I am so touched.. I was in the prison.. just waiting for my time to die.. and I was ready to die.. and I am very confused.. and How is it possible.. that a Low Born like myself is able to be set Free like this.. I know that I shouldn't be alive.. as I would walk on the side.. next to the Horse.. and pulling the string.. I would look UP.. YOU are sitting on top of this Horse.. I have never seen such a Big Smile.. I am still wondering.. How is this possible.. and YOU told me that in few Days I have to stand before the King and share about the BOOK I wrote about.. and had to share why I wrote it.. if everything I shared was true or had lies.. as I would listen to your Words I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why would I make up a story like that.. I am sure the day I stand before and share to the King.. PEH HA.. I want to speak truth before I die.. It be better that way.. but.. I know that I am suppose to be in Prison.. How can this Be.. I know that I am not allowed to Love YOU.. the King.. PEH HA knows my Heart.. and I would hear that YOU wanted to go back to the Garden.. I am Not sure why YOU keep on wanting to that Garden.. I am trying to go far as much as I can.. and I would say.. why do YOU want to go to this Garden so Bad.. YOU know that for me.. I just want it to be the Past and leave it behind.. too many sad memories I had to go through in that Place.. but of course.. I would listen and just do what YOU say.. as I would be next to the Horse.. pulling on the String.. the Back of the gates Open wide and I would look at my friend guarding.. and I would leave the Palace.. and as I would be walking down the dirty road.. I would hear.. YOU wanted me to tell YOU a story.. and I would say.. I have never thought that this day would come.. I remember my father told me.. How he felt when He would get this Horse.. and How he would sit YOU on top of the Horse.. My Father would tell me a lot of stories as He would pull on this string.. he enjoyed guiding YOU through different places.. when My father saw YOU.. and He tells me.. it is the Smile.. the greatest pleasure he got is when He saw YOU smile.. walking was Nothing.. Nothing he ever felt any pain because it was Your smile that truly healed all his wounds and scars.. Now.. I am here.. even though my father is gone.. I have never thought that I be able to do this for YOU.. I know that this is Not much.. YOU have so many servants who can pulls on the strings of this Horse.. But.. Now.. I don't know why.. it is Your smile.. when YOU smile.. I want to smile along with YOU.. taking me on a journey which is impossible.. as I would be walking on the side.. next to the Horse.. Pulling on the string.. I would watch the big trees which was surrounding over the Place.. the leaves and branches giving the shades from the SUN.. and I would turn on the side to look across.. I would see waters.. I see your Head.. turning too look over.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me why are you looking over by the waters.. Do you want to stop there and to get some rest.. and I would watch your head.. giving me the yes.. so I would turn on the side.. and start to walk.. pulling on the strings of the Horse.. and I would walk.. the Horse would walk along side and we stop.. I been here many times.. and I would look at the waters.. and I would say.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I came here a lot.. especially when I could Not see YOU.. When I started to miss YOU more and More.. I would stop here.. looking at the waters would give me some relieve.. I don't like to look at the waters.. but it does brings YOU peace.. I be missing YOU crazy.. I even wanted to jump into the waters.. maybe drowning.. and No more feeling this Kind of Pain in my heart.. no more crying in the nights.. asking for YOU.. I just could not stop crying.. the day YOU had to leave.. when the King called for YOU.. PEH HA.. and I was arrested.. in chains.. I member I would ask the guards who was with me.. if I can come to this waters.. and They would allow me to come..
MAH MAH.. And I was so hurt.. and I knew.. either way I am going to die.. so I began to run towards the waters.. in chains and I was able to go into the shallows of waters but the Guards were too fast and caught up to me.. and told me not to ever run like that.. I stood alone.. in chains.. I would hear the waters coming in.. I wanted to try again but.. they did caught up to me again.. I just didn't want to live any more.. why live if I am going to die anyways.. but.. the guards did brought me in.. I remember the night came.. and I would stand still.. and the guards gave me some space to be alone.. and I would be looking at the waters and I would say.. WHY can't I love YOU.. why is it so hard for YOU to accept my love.. what must I do to be with YOU.. I know that I can't be close to you.. what is the point of me living anyways if I can't get close and to love YOU and to tell you how much I love YOU.. I don't want to live if I can't love YOU and be with YOU.. I remember I would be crying.. looking at the waters.. and I told myself to run into the waters.. this is the time.. But right when I wanted to run into the waters.. One of the Guards came close and told me it was time to leave this place.. so I just did NOT.. I would walk with the two guards.. with chains.. I wanted to be with YOU.. I don't care about the chains.. but for you to know How much I love you.. for you to allow me and just accept me just as I am.. as I would walk and follow the guards.. as I am looking at the SUN setting.. I would turn my Head to look UP.. MAH MAH.. do YOU see that the SUN is going down.. CONG JU NIM.. I think we should go by now.. it is going to be dark soon.. and I would see your Head turning to look down.. I wanted to go but YOU telling me to stay.. I am looking at YOU.. if I stay here long enough.. just Loving YOU will kill me.. it will kill me more as I stand by looking at the waters because here is where I come to tell My Heart about YOU.. I would speak and share.. pour out my Heart when I see the MOON comes UP.. YOU know that MOON has been hearing my words.. sharing my Heart all about YOU.. I just don't want to see that MOON arrive.. I will start pouring Out from my Heart.. about How much I love YOU.. I don't think you want to hear my Heart.. because I will say a lot about How much I do really Love YOU.. and soon.. YOU know that I am not going to be here.. so Please.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am looking at You.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and we are both standing by the Tree.. as I am looking.. I see five Guards approaching.. and I turn to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please stand Back.. Go behind Me.. MAH MAH.. I am ready.. and I am holding the Sword in my hand.. and I see one of the Guards.. looks and points at me.. and He pulls out his sword and runs.. I turn too look back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do you trust Me.. I know that I can handle this.. and as the One of the Guards comes up.. I turn too look.. and I run and I jump into the air.. I would swing my Sword.. Both the blades hits together.. and I land on the ground.. He swings and I swings.. I would jump back and I would swing the sword.. the Four Guards comes and circles around me.. I would turn back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please Go back.. and I see the Five Guards holding the Swords.. and I would walk forward.. Swing my sword.. and I can Hear the words Stop.. and the Five Guards would stop.. and they would drop the swords on the Ground.. and they would all kneel on the ground.. and I see you walking forward.. and I grab Your Arm.. MAH MAH.. PRINCESS.. what are you doing.. I asked of YOU to step back.. I wanted to protect YOU.. if Harm would come.. YOU know that I will fight for YOU.. on your Behalf.. I was ready to strike back.. ready to die if I have to here.. But.. why did you stop the fight.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I grabbed unto your wrist.. Please.. don't go.. and Be here with me.. and I see YOU turn your head looking at me.. telling me that YOU needs to go.. I would hold unto your wrist.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that once I let this Wrist Go.. I may never be able to Hold unto this wrist ever again.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. why did YOU even bring me to this Place if YOU are going to let go.. YOU are the one who wanted to bring me here.. I was standing by the Gates.. YOU know that I was happy just being in the palace.. just being close to your Chamber.. just watching your figure.. even from the distance.. as long as I get to see YOU.. it made me the most happiest place.. then.. why did YOU tell me to come.. YOU are the one who got the Horse for me.. YOU are the one who asked me to come and follow YOU.. I only agreed too because YOU asked me.. and Now.. why are you changing your Mind.. if I let YOU go.. YOU should just let me Die here.. I don't want to go if I can't be with YOU.. if I can Not hold unto your wrist.. what is the point if I let it go now.. Let me just die here.. Let me fight these Guards.. if they win.. I will die here.. Bury me next to my Father.. Bury me here.. if I win this fight.. then you can be with me forever.. How about that.. and I see you turn your Head looking at me.. and I would fall on my knees.. kneeling with the five Guards.. I even drop my sword on the floor.. WHY do I have to let go.. I can't let your wrist go.. do YOU not remember How I got here.. ever since YOU came to the garden.. I would also take you to this Tree.. the reason why I have brought you to this tree.. my Mother is buried next to this Tree.. My Mother died giving me birth.. so I never met my Mother.. MAH MAH.. I have never met my mother.. so I have never seen her.. never heard the voice.. but My Father told me that she was very beautiful and was very bold.. had the Heart like a lion and would fight even in battles.. but giving birth to me was hard and gave her last breathe after I came into this world.. I remember my Father told me as He was watching YOU growing UP.. some reason YOU reminded of My Mother.. and told me a lot about her.. I remember when I was young boy.. I would follow my Father.. did not know where he was taking me and would take me to this Tree.. I would ask my Father.. what is this tree all about.. it must have a meaning because.. My Father would come nights.. He would be talking to this Tree.. and crying.. and told Me.. My mother is buried next to this Tree.. a little bed of flowers.. this is where.. and told me that MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is so much like Your Mother and One day.. he tells me that I am going to love YOU.. that is why my father would tell me never get too close to YOU.. I would laugh at those words.. but Now.. I realize that He is truly right.. because my father tells me I am so much like him.. and Now.. I do see myself more like my Father as time goes by.. Now.. I do miss my mother who I never seen before.. but when I look at YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. what my father said is so True.. I love YOU because YOU are so Strong and YOU are so bold.. courageous.. which I never met my Mother before.. I wanted to take you to this Tree.. so that I can introduce YOU to my Mother who is buried by this Bed of flowers.. but.. I did not want to tell YOU who.. but just wanted to show YOU there is someone very special and dear to me.. I believe my mother's spirit is here.. and I just wanted to tell my Mother.. her spirit.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is the One who I love.. I don't know why it has to be you.. if you are asking me.. WHY DO I LOVE YOU.. what am I suppose to say.. How am I suppose to answer if it is just because Y O U.. DO I needs to explain why or How much I love YOU.. isn't just enough to tell you that I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. and Now you are wondering why DO I tell you this Now.. I just had to know for sure if YOU are the One who I truly Love.. I wanted to know for sure.. is it really CONG JU NIM.. is it really MAH MAH.. the princess.. and I had to hold it for years.. do you know how many years it had to cross.. how many times I had to ask myself if this is real.. if this is true and had to ask thousand times.. maybe even million times I had to ask myself before I would accept the truth.. and yes.. Like I said to YOU.. I have never felt like this way before.. because I just love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I just had to tell myself.. it can't be.. I would ponder on this for a long time.. my Father would look at me when I was young.. what am I suppose to do with his Son.. knowing that I was going to love YOU.. he told me.. I don't want me to love YOU.. but He knows that I was going to love you anyways.. my Father when he was alive.. looked at me.. told me never to get close to YOU.. it is going to hurt me more when I do.. it is going to tear my heart into pieces if I do.. Now.. Look at me.. I can't help but just fall in love with YOU.. I am holding unto your wrist.. I just can't let go.. but I see that YOU want me to let it go.. if I do let Go.. would you let me hold unto your wrist again and next time I do.. that you.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am not going to let It go.. Please don't put my hand away.. because I won't let it go any more.. as I would look at you.. I open my hand and I release your wrist.. My Chest pains.. it comes and hits me Hard and I can feel this Pain growing stronger.. I just can't.. I see you walking forward.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. Will you please come back.. I am going to wait for YOU.. you know where to find me.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please don't Go..
MAH MAH.. WHY do you have to go.. if you love me.. if YOU really really Love me.. would you not stay here with Me.. and as I would watch YOU keep walking.. I see the Five Guards getting UP.. and I see them also walking and they would follow You.. and I am here by the Tree.. my Heart.. and I would Open my Mouth Wide yelling.. WHY do you have to Go.. why do I have to let Your wrist Go.. my hand hits My chest.. I can't let YOU go.. and I get UP.. and I look.. my tears just falling from my eyes.. I grab the sword on the ground.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY do YOU have to go and One of the Guard looks back.. and He has a sword.. and I grab the sword and I would start to run forward.. the Other Guards would turn too look back.. running and holding the sword.. the One Guard.. we both swings the swords at each other.. and the Blades hits and Hits together.. I see you turn around and YOU look.. I would jump UP.. yelling and screaming.. swinging the sword.. and the Guard swings back and I am jumping swinging the sword at the Guard.. another Guard runs up and Plunges the Sword into me.. and He pulls the sword Out and I drop the Sword.. and I am yelling.. I see you telling to Stop.. the five Guards stops and pulls back.. and I can feel.. I am dying inside.. I can feel the chills in my body as I would kneel.. and I know that I am going to die soon.. my tears.. my blood on the side.. my hand holding the side.. I see you running.. and as I am feeling like.. I am just like my father.. I am also losing YOU.. But I love YOU.. I love you so much.. I can feel this Ache MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY do I have to die like this without fully able to love YOU.. I want to love YOU and love you well.. but I think that I just can't.. Look at me and I would lay on the ground.. Bury me next to my Father.. or you can bury me next to my mother.. I am dying because I love YOU so much.. it hurts.. and I would cough blood.. and it is so hard to move.. and I see you next too me.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. if I hold unto your wrist.. I asked you.. if you come back.. can I hold to your wrist and this time.. Please don't go.. I am not going to let the wrist go.. as I would lay my head on your lap.. I can feel the wind blowing.. I see the grey clouds gathering.. and I see the sky darkens and I know it is about to rain.. I know this time.. when it rains.. I can go gone with the Wind.. I would ask YOU.. MAH MAH.. Send my ashes away.. to the waters that I love.. put my ashes into the waters where I can go as far.. I will be with YOU.. because I will still love you then.. I will love YOU forever.. and as I would close my eyes.. my eyes open.. And I am AT THE Outer Court.. Looking at YOU and the King.. and I cry Out.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I get your attention.. DO you remember the Tree incident.. and I see the King.. PEH HA and he sits on the Chair.. and YOU are next to Him.. Do you remember what happened at the Tree.. WHY did you save me.. I was close to death.. I was very close to dying.. why did YOU save me back there.. I asked of YOU to release me.. and I look at YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. if you just let me Go.. I would not be here.. Please tell the King.. PEH HA what happened.. and I see the King turns too look at YOU.. and you just stoop there speechless.. PEH HA.. CONG JU NIM is the one who saved me.. I closed my both eyes and sword plunged into the side.. and I knew that I was going to die that day.. but MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM saved my Life.. what does this Means.. and the King LOOKS at me.. and He turns too look at You.. if the ROYAL Family saves a Life.. there is a rule.. that I become a slave in that family.. and the King looks at me.. Am I not to be a Slave for the Princess.. I am Now a Servant for the CONG JU NIM.. and I would look at the ground.. and the King turns too look at YOU.. He gets UP and He leaves the chair.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I am your Slave Now.. My father told me that he had to give me everything before he goes and knew that something was going to happen to him.. so my father passed down the knowledge and I started to study and learn very hard under his guidance.. and I wanted to give YOU these letters.. I had no other ways to send but.. my Heart.. My Heart kept on telling me to tell YOU.. to tell YOU what is really going inside.. I rather die right now then go through this Pain.. this pain of loving YOU is killing me more.. that is why I am just waiting.. I am asking YOU.. when YOU see my body laying on this prison cell.. please.. take my body beside.. you know the garden.. please put my body next to my father.. He gave me everything so I want to be with my father.. I been writing all these letters soon I was sentenced to death.. and knowing my time is coming near.. so I wanted to tell YOU.. at least you know how I feel about you.. when I am gone.. and long ways apart.. at least these letters is going to tell YOU a story.. about a MAN.. a Low born.. from a slave family.. what hurts me the most is that I can't be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be the one who loves YOU.. I just wish that I can.. but it seems like it won't work out.. I wanted to focus on loving YOU.. but only way is to tell you through these letters that I write.. too tell YOU I will never stop loving YOU.. even if I die.. I still will love YOU.. even if my body goes into the grave.. my spirit will be with you.. I be loving you then.. but you have to promise me.. take my body back to the garden.. bury me next to my father.. without my father.. I wouldn't be able to write.. How can I come this very.. my father is the one who taught me.. and that is why I am able to tell you this very day.. I could of sat in the prison cell silent.. but.. I knew.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I have this urgency to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I LOVE YOU.. My grandfather served the King.. PEH HA.. He became the CHIEF GENERAL and became the Noble for Your Father.. PEH HA.. the King.. my father told me that I could dream like my grandfather.. because He was unable too do.. and that is why he started to teach me.. until I saw YOU.. and I just couldn't stop dreaming.. but dreaming to be with YOU.. to love YOU more and more.. I wanted you to know that is How much I love YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. YOU are the only One who I love.. I have written a lot of letters.. LOOK at the letters.. see how much I have written because I wanted to tell YOU.. my heart is that much filled.. of course there is a part of History of what I been through.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. as I would look at YOU through the Bars.. I see you turn around.. and there was a Messenger for the King.. and I see you giving the Letters to the Messenger for the King.. PEH HA and he bows his head and turns and walks off and I see you turn to look at me.. and YOU tell me to raise Up.. but I would just stay on my fours.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. PLEASE.. when I die.. take my body and take it to the garden.. the bed of flowers.. and next to my father.. I want to be close to my father when I die.. but if I am able to go on.. I want to be near YOU.. too love YOU.. even this Prison Cell.. YOU may thing am I holding anything against.. NO.. because at least I am near YOU.. I am still inside the King's palace.. I know that I could of been thrown outside.. but still being a part of the King's palace.. just wanting to see YOU is all I had in mind.. all I had in my heart.. of course I asked myself.. I was doubting about you ever show up.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. thank you so much for the visit.. just your presence.. your smile is all I wanted to see from YOU.. on this very night.. it is cold.. so please.. YOU should go back to the chambers.. CONG JU NIM.. Did YOU not tell me that YOU were never going to come Back.. YOU told me to Leave.. that YOU wish not to see me Any More.. YOU told me that YOU were never going to come back to see Me.. and those words left Bruises in My Heart.. YOU told me when I stood by this Tree.. You were with the Prince.. and YOU looked at my eyes.. telling me to Leave and that YOU wish that YOU would not see me again.. It really torn My Heart.. it really Hurt me deep inside when YOU told me.. YOU never loved Me and that YOU wished Never to see me again.. and TOLD me to Leave.. I just could Not help it.. as I would turn the Other way.. I looked down on the Hill TOP.. started to walk down this Hill.. My Heart just could not take it any more.. as I was walking down.. I felt heavy in My Chest.. My tears just could Not help but come down very fast and very Hard.. I just could Not believe the Words I had to hear.. WHY did YOU say in a Harsh Way.. that My Heart had to fall off.. I remember as I sat in the Room.. I just kept on crying.. sitting on the Bed.. I just could Not stop.. I felt so Bad.. Unfolding.. LOOKING at the sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I begin to think.. why was I still having this Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. after hearing Your Words.. that YOU wanted me to Leave and Never wanted to see me again.. and How I had to linger on those words.. I was still holding unto the Sketch Paper.. I just could Not throw it away even though I knew that YOU never Loved me.. My hand pressing onto my Chest..
MAH MAH.. I would Unfold the sketch Paper.. My eyes would close.. Hand presses down on my chest.. feeling my Heart.. weeping inside and crying with Me.. I would say.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY.. WHY don't you love me the way I love YOU.. is it because I am a Lowly Person.. just a servant.. is it because I don't fit Your Standards to be Your Man.. Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. I really needed to know why couldn't YOU love Me.. is there a reason WHY you chose to Not.. DID I do something wrong.. Have I said something that Made YOU change Your Mind or YOU never felt anything for Me in Your Heart.. Then How about My Heart.. WHY can't you accept the fact that I love YOU.. I am Not expecting anything back.. but just to know How much I love YOU and that I just can't stop loving YOU.. WHY tell me YOU do not want to see me anything.. Is it really that WHAT you want.. is that the real reason WHY.. as I would be looking at the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I would be wiping the tears from my eyes.. and Now I grabbed Your Wrist.. MAH MAH.. do you not remember what YOU said to Me.. it was right here.. I was standing by this Tree.. YOU told me Never to come Back.. Never to come see YOU.. and TO Leave.. WHY can't you look me in the eyes and tell me why did you say those words to Me.. I still remember.. It hurts so bad when I think about that TIME you told me.. WHY would you say that to me and WHY would you bring me back to this Same spot where I was Hurt the Most.. And Now.. why can't YOU face me.. why are you looking at the other way.. Please.. CONG JU NIM.. Please.. turn Your Head and please look at me in the eyes.. I need the answers why.. I am still lingered of that thought because I cried all Night thinking of YOU.. is it because I am Not the prince.. Am I suppose to be the Prince.. is that WHAT YOU want.. a Prince.. but I am Not the prince.. I am now a Palace Guard.. but was a Lowly servant when YOU told me those words.. Please.. MAH MAH.. Princess.. MAH MAH tell me why.. I am trying to get YOU to look at me.. It seems like YOU did not want to answer.. I guess then I am Not going to ask YOU about it anymore.. But.. this Place.. gives me such a bad taste of memories.. I felt my Happiest but also the Worst in my Life when I was told.. YOU never loved Me.. and to Go.. as YOU can see.. I am still hurt of the Past.. don't know why because much Time has passed by.. maybe because I never let YOU go.. I always loved YOU here.. always wanted you to be Near.. always I would turn to look at the Big Palace.. asking if I can see YOU.. but.. No matter how many calling Out your name.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I would say here.. I would Not here YOU respond Back.. it would be Me always standing.. yelling Out.. calling Out to YOU to come.. that I would be missing YOU.. and just wish that YOU would stop by to at least to say HELLO.. but many times I stand here calling Out.. I would wait with silent.. it is because I love YOU.. and Have never left that thought.. But I do remember after I left this Behind.. I did not know where to Go.. I just wanted to Die.. WHY do I have to live if there is NO way for me to Love YOU.. So I tried to end my Life.. I drank something with Poison.. and ALL I remember I fell on the Floor.. on the ground.. but for some reason.. a MAN found me laying on the street.. on the ground.. and some way.. some how.. He took me In.. older MAN and I remember I woke UP.. the Older MAN looks at me and told me why I wanted to Die.. I got better with Time and I told the Older man.. why would you save my Life.. I did Not want to live.. and He showed me something.. unfolded the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and He looks at me.. is this the reason WHY I wanted to Die.. I told him the truth.. Yes.. and He looks at me.. THIS IS the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. this is a Picture of MAH MAH.. and I told the Older Man.. yes.. THIS is the princess.. CONG JU NIM.. He smiles.. I have great Dreams and Vision.. but also asking for a Death.. He tells Me.. I told him How I met YOU.. and the Older man started to show Me what it means to Practice with a Sword.. started to teach Me the way of the Warrior.. told me that He worked in the palace.. was the Chief General.. and ranked up to the Commander Position.. I am sitting by the bed of sun flowers.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at the little Ones.. the Sun flowers growing.. I just can't believe.. The Princess.. CONG JU NIM just stopped by the garden and left.. as I am on the post.. watching the Night.. by the gates.. I look UP.. I see the Moon.. Do you hear Me tonight.. as I raise up the arm.. hand holding the Sun Flower.. the Little Ones has grown UP.. matured.. I wonder if I can meet the Princess again.. I am missing YOU my Princess.. I am missing YOU CONG JU NIM.. I wonder if I can see YOU again.. will you ever come Out of the gates of this Palace.. I want to see You again.. that day.. at the Garden.. I was young.. did Not know any better.. but Now.. I am more of a man who can truly love YOU.. My Princess.. Where are YOU.. Do you know that I am so Close.. But.. I feel like YOU are so Far.. I am trying to get close to YOU.. but the more closer I want to come.. seems like the further YOU are going.. that is WHY I am just going to wait for YOU.. I am here by the Gates of your Palace.. I want to see YOU.. I want to be near YOU.. I want you to know how much I love YOU.. that I am missing YOU crazy.. but adore YOU.. I admire YOU because YOU are so Great.. as I am looking at the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look at the Sky.. the Moon seems like watching over me.. How am I suppose to get close.. How am I suppose to enter your heart.. I want to see Your Heart.. I want to see YOU my Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. I want to see YOU again.. But.. tell me.. where Are YOU.. if you tell me where YOU at.. I can go to find YOU there.. as I wait through the Night.. standing by the Post.. I just want to say.. I love YOU.. I am waiting for YOU.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. I came this far so that I can be with YOU and never let you go.. Can we please leave this place.. I know that it was me who mentioned about this waters.. it is because I would cry Out.. pouring out my Heart about How much I missed YOU.. How much I wanted to get close to YOU.. that I wanted you near me.. that I love YOU.. but.. on this very night.. I don't have to say about missing YOU.. I see that YOU are very close to me.. but.. I do want to say that I love YOU.. I been loving you for a long time Now.. what am I suppose to do if I loves you this Much.. How much more can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. I just can't stop but keep on loving YOU.. I just want to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. standing on the Hill top.. underneath the Shades of leaves.. saying I will Not stop until YOU COME.. DO you hear Me.. YOU know that I am Hear.. Just waiting for YOU.. if YOU do not COME.. just remember that One day I will go to YOU.. I will show you that I too can go.. But YOU have to know that it is because I love YOU.. I will Not stop until YOU LOVE ME.. But Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. HELP ME to know that if I do come.. WILL you make a ROOM for me.. Give me a chance.. make a room for me too.. at least what I can do is just Love YOU.. from Far.. I would stand on the Hill top calling out your Name.. Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I love YOU.. I want to be gone with the Wind with YOU.. and from Near.. I still would like to tell YOU I love YOU.. and as the Private Guard holding the Helmet.. and I am forced to LOOK UP at YOU.. I see YOU.. and I say.. CONG JU NIM.. I am sorry that I did NOT listen.. But.. I just did Not want you to see Myself.. Because I am a coward of running away.. I know that I should not.. After I heard you getting Married.. My Heart was shattered.. I just could not stay at the Garden.. I did not know this was your Palace.. I heard the News you Got married.. But.. I don't know.. As I look at YOU.. I asked.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. Where are YOU going.. Are you going somewhere Far.. Because I stay here now.. I am the Guard at the back Gate.. I wanted to grab Your Hand.. I wanted to Pull your Arm.. pull you out of that White Horse and close to me.. I want to hold YOU tight.. My Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. the Private Guard backs UP.. I see you giving HIM a sign Not to harm Me.. I also have a sword too.. the private Guard Pulls Out his Sword.. and I pull out the Sword as well.. ready to Fight this Guard.. but I see YOU giving that Guard to back Off.. so He goes back.. Lowers.. Bows on Knee.. and I too go back.. Bows to Knee.. I am wondering.. Is Not Princess leaving somewhere.. I look on the Floor.. I see another Horse.. Next to Me.. I am wondering.. What is this.. as I lift up to LOOK.. YOU are telling me to get on this Brown Horse.. Is this really happening.. WHAT AM I suppose to say.. WHY am I riding this Horse..
![따끈한 청국장 만들어 먹기 ! 스투키캣vs로마샌드 모래 테스트, 아우어 베이커리, 식세기 강추!!! [일상 브이로그/VLOG]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Hn5KtY2Dlns/mqdefault.jpg)
![따끈한 청국장 만들어 먹기 ! 스투키캣vs로마샌드 모래 테스트, 아우어 베이커리, 식세기 강추!!! [일상 브이로그/VLOG]](/img/tr.png)
![Love wins all - 아이유 (IU) / 이보람 (Lee Boram) [보람씨야]](/img/n.gif)
('오늘도보람' 채널 업로드영상 '보람씨야' 재업)
이 영상은 서브채널에 업로드 됐던 영상입니다!
저의 브이로그 채널인 '오늘도 보람' 채널이 '보람씨야' 채널로 이사합니다💚
통일이네요 무탈하게 이사하길 바랍니다
람보 안경끼니까 넘나 이쁜것
안경람도 진짜 너무 너무 예쁘다람 ,,🥹❤️
몇번을 봐도 너무나 웃겼던 그대!
그대는 이 뽀람~~🤣🤣🤣
음식을 정말 복스럽게 드심. 귀요미🥰
애슐리 퀸즈 오랜만에 가려구요 저두!! 언니가 갔다오니 얼른 가고싶네요 ㅎㅎ안경 이뻐용
애슐리퀸즈 좋죠 ㅎㅎ 저도 담주에 간답니다~언니 영상 보면서 하루를 마무리하니 힐링이네요^^
먹는 모습이 넘 귀여움ㅋㅋㅋ 안경껴도 예뻐요
보람찡은 사랑입니다. 💕
2:15 시대를 못 따라간 람님 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
왜 이렇게 먹는게 귀엽지…?
이보람
예쁜다
귀여워
응원해요 으쨔 화이링~~~~
역시 크록스 매니아!!! 여즘 신으시는 크록스 람님이랑 똑같이 커스텀 해서 저도 잘 신고 다니거 있어용 😊😊❤
이사하시느라 고생하시네요 새로운브이로그와 이벤트기대합니다
스무살때 대학가서 처음 커피마신다고 카라멜마끼야또로 입문해서 그때 먹은 후로 한번도 안먹어 봤는데 람민수 해야겠당
4:27 카라멜드리즐 많이...(메모)
4:41 단전에서 올라오는 감탄😮
새 안경으로 예쁜 것만 보길 바래용☺️
보라미 귀여웡
안경끼니깐 또 이미지가 달라지네요ㅋㅋ너무 귀여우신거 아니에요!?
이영상넘귀여버요 ㅎㅎㅎ
핫도그 너무 먹고 싶네요~
👍👍👍!!!!!
누나너무귀여워요
와폭풍업뎃 그동안거 다옮겨올리시는군요 힐링된다;>;)🙊😍
누나는 안경을 써도 잘 어울리네요 ㅎㅎ
퀸즈 좋죠ㅋ
크록스 애호가시구나.. 저는 아파트 단지내서만 신어요
그리고 지방 여행가서 메뉴 못고를때 애슐리 갑니다 ㅎ
디땅 마니 드시는뎅 살도 안찌시구..부럽다요.
난 절케 먹음 이삼킬로는 그냥 찌는 몸땡이;;;
보람 화이팅
팬분의 안경점에 싸인해줬다는....
이밤에 잘못 클릭했네 😭😭😭
옛날사람~숟가락~^~^
새 안경으로 좋은만 많이보세요~~~^^돈 ㅎ
근데 진짜 타고난 피부가 좋은거 같아
관리해서 그런건가
업로드 하신다고 바쁘시네요~
Oink Oink.. I am looking at the Tree.. standing and it is so Hot.. I see the Sun above me and It is so Hot out here.. sometimes I wonder why do I come to this Tree when it is in the Middle of the day.. when it is the Most hottest of the day.. But.. I have Your Picture with me.. I just love looking at YOU.. the Most Beautiful.. and before I came to this Tree.. I saw a field.. full of flowers and I would stop by to see this One Flower.. the Sun Flower.. and I remember I had to go and grab it.. before someone else can grab this Flower.. walking down.. I would start to sing.. I don't know where the song comes from but as I was walking.. holding the Sun Flower.. holding the Empty Glass Jar.. and I was told that there is a Big Heart.. it is sitting on the Top of a branch.. and told me to go and see it.. I wonder whose Big Heart it is.. but.. I received a Picture of YOU.. and it was a Drawing on a Piece of paper of a Big Heart sitting on top of the Branch.. I received it on the mail box and when someone told me about the Big Heart sitting on the Top of a tree on the Branch.. I smiled and knew whose Heart it is.. SO I would come to this Tree.. Before I was stopped by the Tree.. the field and the Sun Flower.. in the Room I had to go and grab the Empty Glass Jar.. just in case if The Big Heart falls off.. I want to use this Empty Glass Jar to catch Your Heart.. I have placed soft cottons.. many many around.. so fluffy and so soft so that the Heart will not get hurt.. I have come to this Tree.. I know if someone has spotted the Big Heart.. I am sure more people are able to see this Big Heart.. I don't want any one to take Your Heart.. But.. I can't believe it.. I see few people surrounding the Tree.. Cameras are flashing.. finger points at the Big Heart and I would hear some boys talking about getting to that Big Heart.. I am wondering.. there is a large numbers of people here and more people are coming to this Tree.. I turn and next to me is another man.. He has a empty Glass jar and turns and looks at me.. I am holding the same glass jar.. I smile big because I have placed a SUN FLOWER inside the Glass Jar.. so I know that when your Big Heart is able to look.. YOU can look at the Head of the Sun Flower.. so that YOU will know that it is me.. I want to give YOU this Flower.. in the middle of the day.. more people comes to this tree.. but many just stand around and complains it is so hot.. and starts to leave.. I am waiting for the people to leave.. I just want to be here alone and I will wait until all People goes.. people are talking.. and hungry.. I am waiting still.. as I am waiting for the time for all these people.. fifty people.. and I see the numbers goes down.. and It becomes Night.. I see the Moon comes UP.. and I see the stars shine.. I can't believe it.. the Man with the empty glass jar is still here with me.. I think He does not want to leave.. what am I suppose to do.. He keeps on looking up.. waving the Empty Glass jar around.. I smile because the Big Heart.. YOUR Big Heart is still sitting on the TOP of that Branch.. He be waving all through the day.. and I see that He is tired.. and he looks at me.. puts his head down and starts to walk off.. I am so glad.. so happy that everyone is gone.. I am able to take out the Picture of YOU.. Paste it and stick it on the Tree.. I am able to look at your picture.. do I get inspired by your Beauty.. I do love that YOU are so Beautiful.. I am Not going to lie to you that YOU are so amazingly Beautiful.. so Beautiful that I would walk close.. and press my lip on the Picture of YOU.. I will say.. MY MY.. YOU are so Beautiful.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. what if my eyes decides to leave me.. my eyes can cry looking at your picture and will ask my Hand to open wide and both eyes can fall off crying because when I look at YOU through the Picture.. my Heart catches on fire.. it burns me from the inside.. I feel so Hot suddenly because my eyes look at your picture and I would say MY MY.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I would be looking at Your Picture.. I would place the Glass Jar down.. PULLING out the Sun Flower and I would be looking at you through the Picture.. I want to give you this flower.. How can I give you this Flower.. Please tell me How.. I been waiting out here.. I been waiting where it be YOU and I alone.. in the middle of the Day.. it was pretty crowded.. and many people were waiting too like myself.. wanted to see Your Big Heart.. wanted to get close to Your Big Heart.. I know that Your Heart is sitting way up on the Top of the branch of this Tree.. I would look around.. I saw many people come.. even people would be leaving.. another group of people comes.. every time I wanted to pull out Your Picture and paste it on this tree.. I would hear group of people.. voices talking.. I would grab Your Picture pulling back to the pocket.. and I had to just stand here all day.. the SUN had to go down because people still came around.. and at last.. all of the people are gone.. but.. all the eyes were looking at.. It is Your Big Heart.. I even brought the empty Glass jar.. do YOU see it on the ground.. when I received a Picture of YOU.. and also a sketch drawing of Your Big Heart sitting on the top branch of the Tree.. I was so excited because I knew that YOU were telling something.. I would be standing by the window of my room in the House.. asking for Your Heart.. I be asking and asking.. begging for Your Heart.. I been praying if I can have Your Big Heart.. of course I would always ask.. never stopped asking.. keep asking until the answer would be answered.. so I would keep on trying.. asking.. give me a sign.. send me a miracle and I guess YOU must heard me.. I am here by this Tree.. and you gave me the answer.. telling me where Your Heart is.. but Why did you choose on this tree.. this tree is so Big.. I am so small compared to the size of this Big Tree.. I am thankful you gave me a sign.. But look at how tall this Tree is and how short I am compared.. I don't want to just stand here and look UP.. just wondering how I can get to that Big Heart.. as I am looking at your Picture pasted on this Tree.. I am holding the Sun Flower.. I want to give YOU this Flower.. But How.. if YOU are not here.. but Your Big Heart is way UP sitting on the branch of this Tree.. I want to give you this flower.. Tell me How can I give You this flower.. this SUN FLOWER first.. My next is.. I want to touch Your Big Heart.. is there a way I can touch and Hold your Heart.. my hands wants to touch and feel.. the warmth of Your Big Heart.. and My Arms wants to wrap around Your Big Heart.. I want to put my ear next to your Heart.. can I please listen to the beating of Your Big Heart.. I want to hear How Your Heart.. Your Big Heart sound.. I am here so I can ask YOU.. I want to get close to YOU.. I want YOU to know that I really want to get closer to YOU.. but Your Big Heart is sitting on the top of the Branch.. it is on the Highest Branch way UP there.. and YOU know that I am way down here on the ground.. so How do I get to that Big Heart.. It looks so beautiful.. I needs to Hear YOU.. I needs to tell YOU.. I want to talk to Your Heart.. but if Your Big Heart cannot hear me because I am way down here to the ground.. and Your Big Heart way UP on the top.. the highest branch of the Tree.. when I am looking UP.. do you know that my neck hurts.. that is How High it is for me to LOOK at Your Big Heart and yes.. I do see Your Big Heart.. it is so Big.. I am spreading my arms wide.. I want to hold Your big Heart.. and Hug Your Heart and say to Your Heart.. I been waiting for this day for a very long time.. to tell Your Heart How much I love YOU.. I want to bring Your Big Heart closer so that I can tell Your Heart.. speak to Your Heart and tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I wonder will you accept my words.. am I allowed to tell YOU this to Your Heart.. that I do love YOU.. what would happen if I get Your Big Heart closer to my lip and I can whisper to Your Big Heart.. I love YOU.. I know for me.. on my part to able to tell you these words.. I am going to be hopping around like a big kid.. because to able to tell YOU these words.. It is a miracle for me.. How can a person like myself be able to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. the I love YOUR BIG HEART.. will you allowed me to speak these words to Your Heart.. that is why I am here.. I am here at the bottom.. at the ground.. I am looking UP.. but I am able to look at your picture because it is pasted on the tree.. showing Your Picture I am holding something in my hand.. a Flower which I want to say it came from the Middle of the day at the hottest.. the SUN.. can I please give YOU this Flower.. I want to give you to tell you where my Heart is.. why I am giving this flower to YOU.. I know that when I do give you this Sun flower.. I know I be at the most happiest place.. and for YOU to receive it.. the JOY that YOU give me just to give it away.. as I am looking at you through this Picture.. why can't you answer me.. I needs to hear you say something.. but I am not hearing anything right now.. I needs to know.. I want to know.. so Please tell me.. I wants to hear YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture of YOU pasted on this tree.. I would look UP.. at the top branch of the tree.. YOUR BIG Heart still sitting there.. I want that Heart.. I want Your Heart.. NO matter how many times I tell YOU and ask your Picture.. YOU don't answer me.. I look UP at Your Big Heart.. is it because Your Big Heart just can't hear me what I am saying by looking at your picture pasted on this tree.. But I know that I am Not too far.. of course there is a distance.. but I am able to stand here and look UP.. I can see Your Big Heart.. I know that Your Big Heart can here me right.. I been asking and asking.. looking at your picture..
MAH MAH.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping.. and showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers..
MAH MAH.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU..I am looking at the Horse.. I would be grabbing unto the string and I would pull the Horse Out of the Barn.. and I would look at the Horse.. this Horse.. It has been here for a Long time.. I was told that my Father is the One who raised the Horse.. the same Horse that My Father would pull out of this Barn.. telling me when I was young.. my Father would father MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. he would sit the Princess.. MAH MAH on the TOP of this Horse.. as he would lead the Horse walking.. I remember my father told me to go to the Barn.. the same Horse.. if I am able to go to the Palace.. and able to get close and serve the princess.. MAH MAH.. to go into the Barn.. and to Sit the Princess.. on top of this Horse.. as I am looking at this Horse.. My Father use to Pull this string.. Now.. his SON.. as grown Now.. I am also able to pull the same String of this Horse.. as I would pull the string and lead the Horse.. I would stop by the Back of the Gate.. I would see the Palace Guard.. he is guarding the back Gate.. leading to the Chamber ROOM of the Princess.. the Palace Guard of the Gate looks at me.. and He knows me.. my friend.. and Opens the Door.. I would pull the strings of the Horse as I would go into the outer court and I would wait.. a Message came to me asking to Bring the Horse.. I would wait.. I just can't believe I am able to do this for YOU.. and I would wait.. there is a servant boy who sees me and I ask HIM.. can YOU call for the Princess.. she told me to come here with the Horse.. would you please call the princess for me.. and the servant Boy walks into and I see HIM coming out.. and I see YOU walking out of the Chamber ROOM.. and I say.. CONG JU NIM.. Can YOU please come on Over.. I have brought you this Horse.. as I am grabbing unto the string.. and I watch YOU coming Out of your Chamber.. as YOU are wearing the white Dress.. My Heart.. WHY do you have to look so Beautiful.. I can feel my Heart beating so Fast as I would watch YOU.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. Look at YOU.. can you feel my Heart CONG JU NIM.. and I am standing by the Horse.. I see two Special Guards guiding YOU and I see you walking closer.. and YOU stop.. Can I tell YOU something.. what I wanted to say for a Long time.. That YOU are so Beautiful.. I love when YOU wear that White Dress.. says YOU are a true Princess.. and I would go down.. and I be on my fours.. the two Guards who are standing next to YOU.. One takes you by your hand.. Your Legs gets Up as I can feel your feet getting up on my back and Unto the Horse.. the other Special Guard tells me to Get UP.. so I stand UP.. I see you sitting on the top of the Horse.. I am wondering.. How is this Possible.. I am suppose to die.. But.. How am I to be here.. I would turn to Look up at YOU.. MAH MAH.. WHY am I here.. What am I doing here.. and I would look Up at YOU.. I know that I can't be here.. But.. YOU are the One who find out a way for me to be here.. Can I ask YOU why.. YOU know that My life has no value compared to YOU.. and I see you Smile.. and you give me a sign to go.. SO I would be walking on the side.. hand grabbing unto the string of the Horse.. as I would start walking.. the Horse begins to walk next to me.. I start to feel the tears rolling Down.. I am so touched.. I was in the prison.. just waiting for my time to die.. and I was ready to die.. and I am very confused.. and How is it possible.. that a Low Born like myself is able to be set Free like this.. I know that I shouldn't be alive.. as I would walk on the side.. next to the Horse.. and pulling the string.. I would look UP.. YOU are sitting on top of this Horse.. I have never seen such a Big Smile.. I am still wondering.. How is this possible.. and YOU told me that in few Days I have to stand before the King and share about the BOOK I wrote about.. and had to share why I wrote it.. if everything I shared was true or had lies.. as I would listen to your Words I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why would I make up a story like that.. I am sure the day I stand before and share to the King.. PEH HA.. I want to speak truth before I die.. It be better that way.. but.. I know that I am suppose to be in Prison.. How can this Be.. I know that I am not allowed to Love YOU.. the King.. PEH HA knows my Heart.. and I would hear that YOU wanted to go back to the Garden.. I am Not sure why YOU keep on wanting to that Garden.. I am trying to go far as much as I can.. and I would say.. why do YOU want to go to this Garden so Bad.. YOU know that for me.. I just want it to be the Past and leave it behind.. too many sad memories I had to go through in that Place.. but of course.. I would listen and just do what YOU say.. as I would be next to the Horse.. pulling on the String.. the Back of the gates Open wide and I would look at my friend guarding.. and I would leave the Palace.. and as I would be walking down the dirty road.. I would hear.. YOU wanted me to tell YOU a story.. and I would say.. I have never thought that this day would come.. I remember my father told me.. How he felt when He would get this Horse.. and How he would sit YOU on top of the Horse.. My Father would tell me a lot of stories as He would pull on this string.. he enjoyed guiding YOU through different places.. when My father saw YOU.. and He tells me.. it is the Smile.. the greatest pleasure he got is when He saw YOU smile.. walking was Nothing.. Nothing he ever felt any pain because it was Your smile that truly healed all his wounds and scars.. Now.. I am here.. even though my father is gone.. I have never thought that I be able to do this for YOU.. I know that this is Not much.. YOU have so many servants who can pulls on the strings of this Horse.. But.. Now.. I don't know why.. it is Your smile.. when YOU smile.. I want to smile along with YOU.. taking me on a journey which is impossible.. as I would be walking on the side.. next to the Horse.. Pulling on the string.. I would watch the big trees which was surrounding over the Place.. the leaves and branches giving the shades from the SUN.. and I would turn on the side to look across.. I would see waters.. I see your Head.. turning too look over.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me why are you looking over by the waters.. Do you want to stop there and to get some rest.. and I would watch your head.. giving me the yes.. so I would turn on the side.. and start to walk.. pulling on the strings of the Horse.. and I would walk.. the Horse would walk along side and we stop.. I been here many times.. and I would look at the waters.. and I would say.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I came here a lot.. especially when I could Not see YOU.. When I started to miss YOU more and More.. I would stop here.. looking at the waters would give me some relieve.. I don't like to look at the waters.. but it does brings YOU peace.. I be missing YOU crazy.. I even wanted to jump into the waters.. maybe drowning.. and No more feeling this Kind of Pain in my heart.. no more crying in the nights.. asking for YOU.. I just could not stop crying.. the day YOU had to leave.. when the King called for YOU.. PEH HA.. and I was arrested.. in chains.. I member I would ask the guards who was with me.. if I can come to this waters.. and They would allow me to come..
MAH MAH.. And I was so hurt.. and I knew.. either way I am going to die.. so I began to run towards the waters.. in chains and I was able to go into the shallows of waters but the Guards were too fast and caught up to me.. and told me not to ever run like that.. I stood alone.. in chains.. I would hear the waters coming in.. I wanted to try again but.. they did caught up to me again.. I just didn't want to live any more.. why live if I am going to die anyways.. but.. the guards did brought me in.. I remember the night came.. and I would stand still.. and the guards gave me some space to be alone.. and I would be looking at the waters and I would say.. WHY can't I love YOU.. why is it so hard for YOU to accept my love.. what must I do to be with YOU.. I know that I can't be close to you.. what is the point of me living anyways if I can't get close and to love YOU and to tell you how much I love YOU.. I don't want to live if I can't love YOU and be with YOU.. I remember I would be crying.. looking at the waters.. and I told myself to run into the waters.. this is the time.. But right when I wanted to run into the waters.. One of the Guards came close and told me it was time to leave this place.. so I just did NOT.. I would walk with the two guards.. with chains.. I wanted to be with YOU.. I don't care about the chains.. but for you to know How much I love you.. for you to allow me and just accept me just as I am.. as I would walk and follow the guards.. as I am looking at the SUN setting.. I would turn my Head to look UP.. MAH MAH.. do YOU see that the SUN is going down.. CONG JU NIM.. I think we should go by now.. it is going to be dark soon.. and I would see your Head turning to look down.. I wanted to go but YOU telling me to stay.. I am looking at YOU.. if I stay here long enough.. just Loving YOU will kill me.. it will kill me more as I stand by looking at the waters because here is where I come to tell My Heart about YOU.. I would speak and share.. pour out my Heart when I see the MOON comes UP.. YOU know that MOON has been hearing my words.. sharing my Heart all about YOU.. I just don't want to see that MOON arrive.. I will start pouring Out from my Heart.. about How much I love YOU.. I don't think you want to hear my Heart.. because I will say a lot about How much I do really Love YOU.. and soon.. YOU know that I am not going to be here.. so Please.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am looking at You.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and we are both standing by the Tree.. as I am looking.. I see five Guards approaching.. and I turn to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please stand Back.. Go behind Me.. MAH MAH.. I am ready.. and I am holding the Sword in my hand.. and I see one of the Guards.. looks and points at me.. and He pulls out his sword and runs.. I turn too look back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do you trust Me.. I know that I can handle this.. and as the One of the Guards comes up.. I turn too look.. and I run and I jump into the air.. I would swing my Sword.. Both the blades hits together.. and I land on the ground.. He swings and I swings.. I would jump back and I would swing the sword.. the Four Guards comes and circles around me.. I would turn back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please Go back.. and I see the Five Guards holding the Swords.. and I would walk forward.. Swing my sword.. and I can Hear the words Stop.. and the Five Guards would stop.. and they would drop the swords on the Ground.. and they would all kneel on the ground.. and I see you walking forward.. and I grab Your Arm.. MAH MAH.. PRINCESS.. what are you doing.. I asked of YOU to step back.. I wanted to protect YOU.. if Harm would come.. YOU know that I will fight for YOU.. on your Behalf.. I was ready to strike back.. ready to die if I have to here.. But.. why did you stop the fight.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I grabbed unto your wrist.. Please.. don't go.. and Be here with me.. and I see YOU turn your head looking at me.. telling me that YOU needs to go.. I would hold unto your wrist.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that once I let this Wrist Go.. I may never be able to Hold unto this wrist ever again.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. why did YOU even bring me to this Place if YOU are going to let go.. YOU are the one who wanted to bring me here.. I was standing by the Gates.. YOU know that I was happy just being in the palace.. just being close to your Chamber.. just watching your figure.. even from the distance.. as long as I get to see YOU.. it made me the most happiest place.. then.. why did YOU tell me to come.. YOU are the one who got the Horse for me.. YOU are the one who asked me to come and follow YOU.. I only agreed too because YOU asked me.. and Now.. why are you changing your Mind.. if I let YOU go.. YOU should just let me Die here.. I don't want to go if I can't be with YOU.. if I can Not hold unto your wrist.. what is the point if I let it go now.. Let me just die here.. Let me fight these Guards.. if they win.. I will die here.. Bury me next to my Father.. Bury me here.. if I win this fight.. then you can be with me forever.. How about that.. and I see you turn your Head looking at me.. and I would fall on my knees.. kneeling with the five Guards.. I even drop my sword on the floor.. WHY do I have to let go.. I can't let your wrist go.. do YOU not remember How I got here.. ever since YOU came to the garden.. I would also take you to this Tree.. the reason why I have brought you to this tree.. my Mother is buried next to this Tree.. My Mother died giving me birth.. so I never met my Mother.. MAH MAH.. I have never met my mother.. so I have never seen her.. never heard the voice.. but My Father told me that she was very beautiful and was very bold.. had the Heart like a lion and would fight even in battles.. but giving birth to me was hard and gave her last breathe after I came into this world.. I remember my Father told me as He was watching YOU growing UP.. some reason YOU reminded of My Mother.. and told me a lot about her.. I remember when I was young boy.. I would follow my Father.. did not know where he was taking me and would take me to this Tree.. I would ask my Father.. what is this tree all about.. it must have a meaning because.. My Father would come nights.. He would be talking to this Tree.. and crying.. and told Me.. My mother is buried next to this Tree.. a little bed of flowers.. this is where.. and told me that MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is so much like Your Mother and One day.. he tells me that I am going to love YOU.. that is why my father would tell me never get too close to YOU.. I would laugh at those words.. but Now.. I realize that He is truly right.. because my father tells me I am so much like him.. and Now.. I do see myself more like my Father as time goes by.. Now.. I do miss my mother who I never seen before.. but when I look at YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. what my father said is so True.. I love YOU because YOU are so Strong and YOU are so bold.. courageous.. which I never met my Mother before.. I wanted to take you to this Tree.. so that I can introduce YOU to my Mother who is buried by this Bed of flowers.. but.. I did not want to tell YOU who.. but just wanted to show YOU there is someone very special and dear to me.. I believe my mother's spirit is here.. and I just wanted to tell my Mother.. her spirit.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is the One who I love.. I don't know why it has to be you.. if you are asking me.. WHY DO I LOVE YOU.. what am I suppose to say.. How am I suppose to answer if it is just because Y O U.. DO I needs to explain why or How much I love YOU.. isn't just enough to tell you that I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. and Now you are wondering why DO I tell you this Now.. I just had to know for sure if YOU are the One who I truly Love.. I wanted to know for sure.. is it really CONG JU NIM.. is it really MAH MAH.. the princess.. and I had to hold it for years.. do you know how many years it had to cross.. how many times I had to ask myself if this is real.. if this is true and had to ask thousand times.. maybe even million times I had to ask myself before I would accept the truth.. and yes.. Like I said to YOU.. I have never felt like this way before.. because I just love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I just had to tell myself.. it can't be.. I would ponder on this for a long time.. my Father would look at me when I was young.. what am I suppose to do with his Son.. knowing that I was going to love YOU.. he told me.. I don't want me to love YOU.. but He knows that I was going to love you anyways.. my Father when he was alive.. looked at me.. told me never to get close to YOU.. it is going to hurt me more when I do.. it is going to tear my heart into pieces if I do.. Now.. Look at me.. I can't help but just fall in love with YOU.. I am holding unto your wrist.. I just can't let go.. but I see that YOU want me to let it go.. if I do let Go.. would you let me hold unto your wrist again and next time I do.. that you.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am not going to let It go.. Please don't put my hand away.. because I won't let it go any more.. as I would look at you.. I open my hand and I release your wrist.. My Chest pains.. it comes and hits me Hard and I can feel this Pain growing stronger.. I just can't.. I see you walking forward.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. Will you please come back.. I am going to wait for YOU.. you know where to find me.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please don't Go..
MAH MAH.. WHY do you have to go.. if you love me.. if YOU really really Love me.. would you not stay here with Me.. and as I would watch YOU keep walking.. I see the Five Guards getting UP.. and I see them also walking and they would follow You.. and I am here by the Tree.. my Heart.. and I would Open my Mouth Wide yelling.. WHY do you have to Go.. why do I have to let Your wrist Go.. my hand hits My chest.. I can't let YOU go.. and I get UP.. and I look.. my tears just falling from my eyes.. I grab the sword on the ground.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY do YOU have to go and One of the Guard looks back.. and He has a sword.. and I grab the sword and I would start to run forward.. the Other Guards would turn too look back.. running and holding the sword.. the One Guard.. we both swings the swords at each other.. and the Blades hits and Hits together.. I see you turn around and YOU look.. I would jump UP.. yelling and screaming.. swinging the sword.. and the Guard swings back and I am jumping swinging the sword at the Guard.. another Guard runs up and Plunges the Sword into me.. and He pulls the sword Out and I drop the Sword.. and I am yelling.. I see you telling to Stop.. the five Guards stops and pulls back.. and I can feel.. I am dying inside.. I can feel the chills in my body as I would kneel.. and I know that I am going to die soon.. my tears.. my blood on the side.. my hand holding the side.. I see you running.. and as I am feeling like.. I am just like my father.. I am also losing YOU.. But I love YOU.. I love you so much.. I can feel this Ache MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY do I have to die like this without fully able to love YOU.. I want to love YOU and love you well.. but I think that I just can't.. Look at me and I would lay on the ground.. Bury me next to my Father.. or you can bury me next to my mother.. I am dying because I love YOU so much.. it hurts.. and I would cough blood.. and it is so hard to move.. and I see you next too me.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. if I hold unto your wrist.. I asked you.. if you come back.. can I hold to your wrist and this time.. Please don't go.. I am not going to let the wrist go.. as I would lay my head on your lap.. I can feel the wind blowing.. I see the grey clouds gathering.. and I see the sky darkens and I know it is about to rain.. I know this time.. when it rains.. I can go gone with the Wind.. I would ask YOU.. MAH MAH.. Send my ashes away.. to the waters that I love.. put my ashes into the waters where I can go as far.. I will be with YOU.. because I will still love you then.. I will love YOU forever.. and as I would close my eyes.. my eyes open.. And I am AT THE Outer Court.. Looking at YOU and the King.. and I cry Out.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I get your attention.. DO you remember the Tree incident.. and I see the King.. PEH HA and he sits on the Chair.. and YOU are next to Him.. Do you remember what happened at the Tree.. WHY did you save me.. I was close to death.. I was very close to dying.. why did YOU save me back there.. I asked of YOU to release me.. and I look at YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. if you just let me Go.. I would not be here.. Please tell the King.. PEH HA what happened.. and I see the King turns too look at YOU.. and you just stoop there speechless.. PEH HA.. CONG JU NIM is the one who saved me.. I closed my both eyes and sword plunged into the side.. and I knew that I was going to die that day.. but MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM saved my Life.. what does this Means.. and the King LOOKS at me.. and He turns too look at You.. if the ROYAL Family saves a Life.. there is a rule.. that I become a slave in that family.. and the King looks at me.. Am I not to be a Slave for the Princess.. I am Now a Servant for the CONG JU NIM.. and I would look at the ground.. and the King turns too look at YOU.. He gets UP and He leaves the chair.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I am your Slave Now.. My father told me that he had to give me everything before he goes and knew that something was going to happen to him.. so my father passed down the knowledge and I started to study and learn very hard under his guidance.. and I wanted to give YOU these letters.. I had no other ways to send but.. my Heart.. My Heart kept on telling me to tell YOU.. to tell YOU what is really going inside.. I rather die right now then go through this Pain.. this pain of loving YOU is killing me more.. that is why I am just waiting.. I am asking YOU.. when YOU see my body laying on this prison cell.. please.. take my body beside.. you know the garden.. please put my body next to my father.. He gave me everything so I want to be with my father.. I been writing all these letters soon I was sentenced to death.. and knowing my time is coming near.. so I wanted to tell YOU.. at least you know how I feel about you.. when I am gone.. and long ways apart.. at least these letters is going to tell YOU a story.. about a MAN.. a Low born.. from a slave family.. what hurts me the most is that I can't be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be the one who loves YOU.. I just wish that I can.. but it seems like it won't work out.. I wanted to focus on loving YOU.. but only way is to tell you through these letters that I write.. too tell YOU I will never stop loving YOU.. even if I die.. I still will love YOU.. even if my body goes into the grave.. my spirit will be with you.. I be loving you then.. but you have to promise me.. take my body back to the garden.. bury me next to my father.. without my father.. I wouldn't be able to write.. How can I come this very.. my father is the one who taught me.. and that is why I am able to tell you this very day.. I could of sat in the prison cell silent.. but.. I knew.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I have this urgency to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I LOVE YOU.. My grandfather served the King.. PEH HA.. He became the CHIEF GENERAL and became the Noble for Your Father.. PEH HA.. the King.. my father told me that I could dream like my grandfather.. because He was unable too do.. and that is why he started to teach me.. until I saw YOU.. and I just couldn't stop dreaming.. but dreaming to be with YOU.. to love YOU more and more.. I wanted you to know that is How much I love YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. YOU are the only One who I love.. I have written a lot of letters.. LOOK at the letters.. see how much I have written because I wanted to tell YOU.. my heart is that much filled.. of course there is a part of History of what I been through.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. as I would look at YOU through the Bars.. I see you turn around.. and there was a Messenger for the King.. and I see you giving the Letters to the Messenger for the King.. PEH HA and he bows his head and turns and walks off and I see you turn to look at me.. and YOU tell me to raise Up.. but I would just stay on my fours.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. PLEASE.. when I die.. take my body and take it to the garden.. the bed of flowers.. and next to my father.. I want to be close to my father when I die.. but if I am able to go on.. I want to be near YOU.. too love YOU.. even this Prison Cell.. YOU may thing am I holding anything against.. NO.. because at least I am near YOU.. I am still inside the King's palace.. I know that I could of been thrown outside.. but still being a part of the King's palace.. just wanting to see YOU is all I had in mind.. all I had in my heart.. of course I asked myself.. I was doubting about you ever show up.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. thank you so much for the visit.. just your presence.. your smile is all I wanted to see from YOU.. on this very night.. it is cold.. so please.. YOU should go back to the chambers.. CONG JU NIM.. Did YOU not tell me that YOU were never going to come Back.. YOU told me to Leave.. that YOU wish not to see me Any More.. YOU told me that YOU were never going to come back to see Me.. and those words left Bruises in My Heart.. YOU told me when I stood by this Tree.. You were with the Prince.. and YOU looked at my eyes.. telling me to Leave and that YOU wish that YOU would not see me again.. It really torn My Heart.. it really Hurt me deep inside when YOU told me.. YOU never loved Me and that YOU wished Never to see me again.. and TOLD me to Leave.. I just could Not help it.. as I would turn the Other way.. I looked down on the Hill TOP.. started to walk down this Hill.. My Heart just could not take it any more.. as I was walking down.. I felt heavy in My Chest.. My tears just could Not help but come down very fast and very Hard.. I just could Not believe the Words I had to hear.. WHY did YOU say in a Harsh Way.. that My Heart had to fall off.. I remember as I sat in the Room.. I just kept on crying.. sitting on the Bed.. I just could Not stop.. I felt so Bad.. Unfolding.. LOOKING at the sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I begin to think.. why was I still having this Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. after hearing Your Words.. that YOU wanted me to Leave and Never wanted to see me again.. and How I had to linger on those words.. I was still holding unto the Sketch Paper.. I just could Not throw it away even though I knew that YOU never Loved me.. My hand pressing onto my Chest..
MAH MAH.. I would Unfold the sketch Paper.. My eyes would close.. Hand presses down on my chest.. feeling my Heart.. weeping inside and crying with Me.. I would say.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WHY.. WHY don't you love me the way I love YOU.. is it because I am a Lowly Person.. just a servant.. is it because I don't fit Your Standards to be Your Man.. Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. I really needed to know why couldn't YOU love Me.. is there a reason WHY you chose to Not.. DID I do something wrong.. Have I said something that Made YOU change Your Mind or YOU never felt anything for Me in Your Heart.. Then How about My Heart.. WHY can't you accept the fact that I love YOU.. I am Not expecting anything back.. but just to know How much I love YOU and that I just can't stop loving YOU.. WHY tell me YOU do not want to see me anything.. Is it really that WHAT you want.. is that the real reason WHY.. as I would be looking at the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I would be wiping the tears from my eyes.. and Now I grabbed Your Wrist.. MAH MAH.. do you not remember what YOU said to Me.. it was right here.. I was standing by this Tree.. YOU told me Never to come Back.. Never to come see YOU.. and TO Leave.. WHY can't you look me in the eyes and tell me why did you say those words to Me.. I still remember.. It hurts so bad when I think about that TIME you told me.. WHY would you say that to me and WHY would you bring me back to this Same spot where I was Hurt the Most.. And Now.. why can't YOU face me.. why are you looking at the other way.. Please.. CONG JU NIM.. Please.. turn Your Head and please look at me in the eyes.. I need the answers why.. I am still lingered of that thought because I cried all Night thinking of YOU.. is it because I am Not the prince.. Am I suppose to be the Prince.. is that WHAT YOU want.. a Prince.. but I am Not the prince.. I am now a Palace Guard.. but was a Lowly servant when YOU told me those words.. Please.. MAH MAH.. Princess.. MAH MAH tell me why.. I am trying to get YOU to look at me.. It seems like YOU did not want to answer.. I guess then I am Not going to ask YOU about it anymore.. But.. this Place.. gives me such a bad taste of memories.. I felt my Happiest but also the Worst in my Life when I was told.. YOU never loved Me.. and to Go.. as YOU can see.. I am still hurt of the Past.. don't know why because much Time has passed by.. maybe because I never let YOU go.. I always loved YOU here.. always wanted you to be Near.. always I would turn to look at the Big Palace.. asking if I can see YOU.. but.. No matter how many calling Out your name.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I would say here.. I would Not here YOU respond Back.. it would be Me always standing.. yelling Out.. calling Out to YOU to come.. that I would be missing YOU.. and just wish that YOU would stop by to at least to say HELLO.. but many times I stand here calling Out.. I would wait with silent.. it is because I love YOU.. and Have never left that thought.. But I do remember after I left this Behind.. I did not know where to Go.. I just wanted to Die.. WHY do I have to live if there is NO way for me to Love YOU.. So I tried to end my Life.. I drank something with Poison.. and ALL I remember I fell on the Floor.. on the ground.. but for some reason.. a MAN found me laying on the street.. on the ground.. and some way.. some how.. He took me In.. older MAN and I remember I woke UP.. the Older MAN looks at me and told me why I wanted to Die.. I got better with Time and I told the Older man.. why would you save my Life.. I did Not want to live.. and He showed me something.. unfolded the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and He looks at me.. is this the reason WHY I wanted to Die.. I told him the truth.. Yes.. and He looks at me.. THIS IS the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. this is a Picture of MAH MAH.. and I told the Older Man.. yes.. THIS is the princess.. CONG JU NIM.. He smiles.. I have great Dreams and Vision.. but also asking for a Death.. He tells Me.. I told him How I met YOU.. and the Older man started to show Me what it means to Practice with a Sword.. started to teach Me the way of the Warrior.. told me that He worked in the palace.. was the Chief General.. and ranked up to the Commander Position.. I am sitting by the bed of sun flowers.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at the little Ones.. the Sun flowers growing.. I just can't believe.. The Princess.. CONG JU NIM just stopped by the garden and left.. as I am on the post.. watching the Night.. by the gates.. I look UP.. I see the Moon.. Do you hear Me tonight.. as I raise up the arm.. hand holding the Sun Flower.. the Little Ones has grown UP.. matured.. I wonder if I can meet the Princess again.. I am missing YOU my Princess.. I am missing YOU CONG JU NIM.. I wonder if I can see YOU again.. will you ever come Out of the gates of this Palace.. I want to see You again.. that day.. at the Garden.. I was young.. did Not know any better.. but Now.. I am more of a man who can truly love YOU.. My Princess.. Where are YOU.. Do you know that I am so Close.. But.. I feel like YOU are so Far.. I am trying to get close to YOU.. but the more closer I want to come.. seems like the further YOU are going.. that is WHY I am just going to wait for YOU.. I am here by the Gates of your Palace.. I want to see YOU.. I want to be near YOU.. I want you to know how much I love YOU.. that I am missing YOU crazy.. but adore YOU.. I admire YOU because YOU are so Great.. as I am looking at the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look at the Sky.. the Moon seems like watching over me.. How am I suppose to get close.. How am I suppose to enter your heart.. I want to see Your Heart.. I want to see YOU my Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. I want to see YOU again.. But.. tell me.. where Are YOU.. if you tell me where YOU at.. I can go to find YOU there.. as I wait through the Night.. standing by the Post.. I just want to say.. I love YOU.. I am waiting for YOU.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. I came this far so that I can be with YOU and never let you go.. Can we please leave this place.. I know that it was me who mentioned about this waters.. it is because I would cry Out.. pouring out my Heart about How much I missed YOU.. How much I wanted to get close to YOU.. that I wanted you near me.. that I love YOU.. but.. on this very night.. I don't have to say about missing YOU.. I see that YOU are very close to me.. but.. I do want to say that I love YOU.. I been loving you for a long time Now.. what am I suppose to do if I loves you this Much.. How much more can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. I just can't stop but keep on loving YOU.. I just want to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. standing on the Hill top.. underneath the Shades of leaves.. saying I will Not stop until YOU COME.. DO you hear Me.. YOU know that I am Hear.. Just waiting for YOU.. if YOU do not COME.. just remember that One day I will go to YOU.. I will show you that I too can go.. But YOU have to know that it is because I love YOU.. I will Not stop until YOU LOVE ME.. But Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. HELP ME to know that if I do come.. WILL you make a ROOM for me.. Give me a chance.. make a room for me too.. at least what I can do is just Love YOU.. from Far.. I would stand on the Hill top calling out your Name.. Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I love YOU.. I want to be gone with the Wind with YOU.. and from Near.. I still would like to tell YOU I love YOU.. and as the Private Guard holding the Helmet.. and I am forced to LOOK UP at YOU.. I see YOU.. and I say.. CONG JU NIM.. I am sorry that I did NOT listen.. But.. I just did Not want you to see Myself.. Because I am a coward of running away.. I know that I should not.. After I heard you getting Married.. My Heart was shattered.. I just could not stay at the Garden.. I did not know this was your Palace.. I heard the News you Got married.. But.. I don't know.. As I look at YOU.. I asked.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. Where are YOU going.. Are you going somewhere Far.. Because I stay here now.. I am the Guard at the back Gate.. I wanted to grab Your Hand.. I wanted to Pull your Arm.. pull you out of that White Horse and close to me.. I want to hold YOU tight.. My Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. the Private Guard backs UP.. I see you giving HIM a sign Not to harm Me.. I also have a sword too.. the private Guard Pulls Out his Sword.. and I pull out the Sword as well.. ready to Fight this Guard.. but I see YOU giving that Guard to back Off.. so He goes back.. Lowers.. Bows on Knee.. and I too go back.. Bows to Knee.. I am wondering.. Is Not Princess leaving somewhere.. I look on the Floor.. I see another Horse.. Next to Me.. I am wondering.. What is this.. as I lift up to LOOK.. YOU are telling me to get on this Brown Horse.. Is this really happening.. WHAT AM I suppose to say.. WHY am I riding this Horse..