Why Japanese Wives Hate Foreign Husbands
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
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These are examples of why a Japanese Wife may start hating their foreign husband. As many of you know, I’ve been married to my Japanese wife Maiko, for over 3.5 years now in Japan. During this time I’ve learned first hand quite a bit about what Japanese women culturally expect when living with a Foreign Husband, like me from the United States, so I wanted to share some hopefully useful points. And to be fair, today’s examples of cultural issues are not just from Maiko and I, some points I learned from my married foreign male friends with Japanese wives or my Japanese wife friends with their foreign husbands over many years living in Japan. This is a list of cultural relationship issues, that without compromise, have created many fights, ongoing arguments, resentment, and even hate leading some married couples into divorce. Like many lists like this though, these are generalizations and not every single Japanese woman or foreign man is like this but if you are planning to get married here in Japan these are some things to be aware of so you don’t end up hating your partner. Also, this list can be applied if you’re foreign female with a Japanese husband. Finally, if you’re already married in Japan, let me know how these ones sit with you and if there are any things that I missed.
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I literally LMFAOd after Paolo's intro: This is why Japanese wives hate their foreign husbands 🤣🤣🤣
*The title of the video*
Me: My Japanese wife disagrees.
HERE BEFORE MAX REPLIES
lol, Japanese people are so anal. And I say this as a Japanese person myself! 🤣
So rice bowl can be use for cereals or soup
I've been married to a Chinese lady for 45 years. Nearly all of these same cultural practices apply to Chinese as well. However, my wife refuses to freeze any food or buy frozen food. Shops every day. Clothes dryer, dish washer - never been used. Oven - never been used for cooking. Ovens are for storing bananas.
Banana fridge! I like it!
Same here
We live in a near older near CBD suburb. Wifey doesn't drive at all. She walks. Fortunately supermarkets and shopping malls are walking distance - less than 1 Km (half a mile).
Asian food shops are close by. She doesn't know how to cook Western food and I never bothered to show her how. She cooks Nyonya food (for those who know). She enjoys western food but we need to eat out for her to eat it. She's ethnic Chinese from another Asian country - I met her there - I worked there for 10 years. We speak a melange of her language and English.
your fucked up
@@lezivanerrol3697 I'm assuming Malaysian Chinese? Because of Nyonya
Paolo is a genius for monetizing him admitting all the arguments he lost to maiko 😅
😂for real.
What's weird is the fact that he still stands up to shit and she doesn't mind that one bit.
@@grizzlyaddams3606 read my comment above, these woman are born to play games with their spouses as its in their culture …she does mind dude but she will probably spill it all out like a organised list she kept in her little dark mental diary three years later when they get into a deeper argument for example…. She will also do it in a very cowardly way most likely a text message, as they avoid confrontation like vampires the sun and if he is as lucky as my good Aussie friend she will disappear with his three kids and never let him see them again as a punishment for speaking to her that way for all those years… then he will be lucky if he can keep living in Japan because he is on a spouse visa and spend every last ¥ on child support and a reasonably good lawyer who will be powerless to even get him visitation rights as the Japanese don’t follow up on the Hague treaty rules they signed I think as late as 2014 and they wont give a fuck about his gaijin ass…I speak from experience… 17 yrs in Japan and over 10 Japanese GF in Australia and two failed marriages. They are very good at making you feel like they are fine with you gaijin big mouth … Japanese men know this and must keep quiet as they see and grow up with these awkward mentally taxing on men wonderful parts of Japanese culture… PURE Brutal Truth ! Happens very often there !!!
thanks for sharing, i thought my wife is the only one
The Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel heads are having talks while you are reading this about their growth in Australia and in Asia. Exterminating The Yakusa presence and their activities in the country would be considerably profitable for the Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel. The goal is to initiate their expansion over the Yakusa in Australia and to push it as far as in Japan. According to their plans, they are and will be supported by the Sinaloa Cartel for a part of the gains obtained and it would be done by the end of 2023. They told their mens to prioritize the capture, mostly for torture and interrogation before killing and for selling but to kill right away if they can not capture. This is what members having close ties with Hells Angels chapter leaders are talking about. Some members of the Hells Angels and of the Sinaloa Cartel had already start moving to Australia. The mens had been told to get the job done by any means, even by mass killing if needed. If you are directly involved let your comrades know so you can be prepared for what is happening before it is too late to prevent the bloodbath and your fall!!
i agree with the bath/shower before bed. i like to feel refreshed before going to bed.
I'm married to a Japanese woman, and although we live in the U.S., I must say you were "spot-on" in every issue you brought up. Good work.
Funnily enough none apply to my wife (also Japanese). Maybe living in Italy makes the difference?
Bruv I understand showering before going to bed and in the morning but no AC during summer and no heating during winter. It's my second year in Canada, that won't cut it. I'll freeze to death. Put your foot down.
You probably made her understand who wears the pants.
How is your sex life? Many foreign men are saying that sex stops after children? Is that true?
same my wife is japanese ( married in 2010) and i'm not ok with this video@@andreapassante5653
When I worked in Hokkaido as a JET the other JETS who had been there awhile gave us a orientation guide to help navigate the culture. Food, driving, shopping, dealing with your Japanese boss, lots of useful information. There was a section on dating. The part for foreign women wanting to date Japanese men was several pages long detailing how not to scare them off and act "cute". Bits on how to talk, how to dress, how to drink, what to expect if you got him back to your place, etc, etc. The part for foreign men wanting to date a Japanese woman I will quote here in it's entirety: "Go into a bar. Sit down. Wait for them to come."
I laughed the longest on this one 🤣 😂
JET? Jury-rigged, Explosive Toupee?
The legendary gaijin hunters. I personally wouldn't recommend them though.
Former Akkeshi JET in East Hokkaido. Do not go near the Gaijin Hunters. I had plenty come on to me over there, and like the old saying goes “Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth”… I did, and am I glad I did
Is this true Bro? Lmao
After 20 years of relationship and 15 years of marriage, I can easily say that the number one source of misunderstandings and arguments is the direct (western) vs indirect (asian) communication style. Period.
That applies to us (German husband, English wife), too. Direct and indirect can have many nuances.
Don't know about East vs West. Brits can be equally dodgy if not worse. And I do mean dodgy.
Women are already indirect , add being Asian on top of that and it’s a struggle (coming from someone who’s dated a Filipina) I could never tell wtf she wanted😂
I think the problem is just women... has nothing to do with race
What you're speaking of, sir, is not a western/eastern difference in communication culture, it's a world wide male/female phenomenon.
The shower and bath one has been a frequent battle in the household for last couple of years. Paola, I genuinely had no idea it was a specifically Japanese thing, I just thought my wife was nuts about it. Thank you!
Appreciate the cultural insights.
Japan is on my bucket list it’s a fascinating country
Speaking as an African American from Texas, I grew up taking baths at night before bed. The logic behind why we take baths at night are exactly the same as what you explained in the video. The bed is for clean bodies and clothes. But anyway, I am a huge fan of your content! You have an unique production style to your videos! I love them and I can’t wait to watch your next one! 💙💙
from a northern state, I'd definitely take a shower if it was a hot day and I had been outside and sweating... but on most days it feels like (or I was raised to believe) I'm clean enough, because we've never been hot and sweaty. obviously it's still less clean than a shower or bath before bed, but it seems like it's good enough.
plus I just prefer to shower in the morning, it wakes you up and helps you look your best before you go out for the day
I do that too
I'm white,southern, and my mom had us take a bath at night. I've taught my biracial kids bath at night and shower in the morning. Louisiana is either muggy or hot. I like the sheets to stay clean alittle while. Secondly I have always fixed a dish after someone spoons some out. It redistribute the heat in the food.
Yes, same. I don't like going to be sweaty and dirty from the day. It makes sense
I do the same. It's also a way to decompress for the day and relax enough to get a good sleep.
The only one I would militantly stand my ground on is the AC. I absolutely cannot sleep while hot. It is a miserable experience, and as it is I tend to be a hot sleeper even with AC. The rest of it struck me as things I could learn to live with, and none of them struck me as hills worth dying on.
Currently having these talks with my Japanese partner haha Sitting to pee was annoying but I understand it. Like you, I have not relented on the AC issue. Im double her size and simply can't handle sleeping hot.
wall mounted ACs are practically silent and do not produce any noise.
growing up in AZ means you could actually die without AC so yeah I grew up very well accustomed to AC 24/7.
@@Buonarotti10 Depends upon the size and type.
You even have to be a lot of gourd to keep pissing standing up the throne was made to sit down he demands it.
The dryer will reduce clothes life span, yes. But I'll highly recommend to use it without heat for like 15 minutes after hanger drying clothes just to catch dust and loose cotton particles.
Thanks, this explains a lot. My wife is Vietnamese but we have many similar issues. Ovens for banana storage etc. was spot on for example.
I lived in Japan for over 15 years and were married for probably 10 of them before moving to the US, and we ran into some of the same issues. We never ran into the AC problem. But probably because we lived in Aomori-ken, so running A/C was not really an issue. Flat/fluffy rice... yes ran into this issue, but not enough to divorce. I still leave it flat, and she will make it fluffy after she takes her portion. But she doesn't get mad about it. Bath before sleep...yes had to deal with this one. However, she ALWAYS insisted I take a bath/shower first. So not really an issue. Frozen meat in the freezer...yes. Ran across this issue many times. I still keep frozen meats longer than 2 weeks. But most of the time we eat most of our meats before we get to the 2 week time frame. So again, not too much of an issue. When in Japan we always hung our clothes. When me moved to Hawaii I introduced her to the clothes dryer. At first she would still hang our clothes but then she saw she could get all the laundry done within a couple hours and no clothes left to hang-dry. She adapted just fine to a dryer because its way faster than an overnight hang. Getting the bowls right... I still mess them up. But as Maiko does, my wife doesn't get angry anymore as she knows I am far from perfect. If we go to her mom's house though, I better get it right or I will hear about it. As you say, its all about compromise. I have been compromising with my Japanese wife for over 25 years, and I'm hoping to continue well into the future. Take care... and forgive each other to stay together.
I have found a real difference between Basmati and the short grain rice.. so adding some Basmate will provide some of that fluff
"Probably" 10 😄
10 of them 🤨?
@@MarcDufresneosorusrexbasmati most based rice
@@anu1776 Yup
The bed as a clean space is kind of a compelling argument.
Wow.. my wife is Hong Kong Chinese and this list is exactly the points in our 20+ year marriage deals with. I am American living in Australia with her and these are the things that have created conflict in our marriage, or I should say could have created conflict as we have sorted these things out. Since living in rural Queensland where we shop only when we go to town the fresh food situation has been one where she had to learn that we buy in larger quantities and keep in storage. It took a bit of time for her to change from where she once lived and everything you want is just outside your door in a large cosmopolitan city to being a farm girl.. well almost a farm girl. Compromise is the key.
I think there's an additional key
I was once told that compromise was defined as 2 parties losing equally
This seems fair in small amounts
...but I can't help but suspect that if both parties each lose too much...then both would be equally miserable
...which would be horrible for any relationship
I think...though compromise is vital...it should coupled with acceptance (like, actual open-hearted acceptance, not bitter tolerance)
Both measures have their limits...but I think having 2 options would but less strain on a relationship. 😊
(I'm just speaking theoretically and not judging...you've been married for 20+ years and I'm still single...so very obviously, you know what works 😅)
Really great, smart, educated video + talk.
About the bathtub: I had an aunt marry a Japanese man and moved there. One thing she shared about bath customs was that Japanese people tend to shower using the shower outside of the tub, but a tub of water is drawn anyway to just soak in after washing their bodies, which explains the cleaning needed before using it. She also mentioned that the whole family would take turns soaking based on seniority, so by the time it was her turn, the water was already cold lol
These days the baths are very automated. They will fill themselves to the perfect level and temperature and sound a chime when done. They will also maintain the temperature and water level. Of course in older baths, cold water would definitely be an issue.
Kellie is right about how the Japanese take a shower and bath. One thing I did not like, and I still do not like, is how they take baths in Japan. I learned in Japan that they use the same hot water in the tub for everyone in the family. Naturally, water gets dirty one person after another, even though they washed their body outside the tub. I took the bathtub first. If not, I drained it and refilled brand new hot clean water. After years of marriage, my Japanese husband liked my way.
@@rsac43 Dang, those exist? I live in the USA and all the average priced homes have normal baths that you just fill and adjust the temperature with a knob or handle.
@@dorist7280 Japanese people know that if you change the water in the bathtub one by one, it will be clean. However, for two people, the water and gas charges are double. Four times if you have two children. The Japanese do not waste resources.
its true.
I'm an American, but I don't have an Asian wife. Regarding the rice fluffing, I learned from my Mom, who was Italian, that you ALWAYS fluff the rice once it's cooked, and the best way to do it is with a wooden fork, NOT a metal one, with wide tines to evenly fluff the rice. And I tell you, it works like a charm. Try it on your wife and see how she likes it.
In the Philippines (Paolo’s mom and dad are from the Philippines) we don’t fluff our rice. It’s more on the Tropical weather here and the more you fluff or spoon the cooked rice, the humidity here spoils the rice very quickly. So it’s a rule once the rice is cooked, don’t touch it until you’re about to eat. Don’t even open the lid to see it cooking.
@@inisipisTV Thanks for the info, it definitely makes sense. No matter how old you are, you learn something new every day. Mabuhay !!!!!
I dony understand u point
Here in Peru we also fluff the rice after it's been cooked, you have to, it gives rice a nice texture.
@@mannyb7949 Especially when you are looking to mix it with other foods to give it a perfect consistency.
This was interesting, thanks for presenting
I had no idea. This video is very fun. Thank you.
The classic air conditioner war. Never gets old lol.
Just became a member and I have been watching your content since last year! Been watching your food videos and to-do's in Japan cuz I am planning to visit there once they open the borders! Keep it up kuya paolo!
It gets even better/worse in Japan because it almost always a mini-split(s) and not cental air.
I believe the global warming and more frequent extreme hot weather may change that mindset😅
I once shared a hotel room with a girl from Vegas for a week. Turns out that a Canadian and a desert dweller have VERY different opinions about comfortable sleeping temperatures.😆
I’m from the south… if I’m hot I turning that AC on
I like to keep my room at 58F-65F
As an Aussie, I totally agree with the drying clothes outside ethos. The clothes dryer is reserved for the towels and those days where it's just too rainy. Otherwise, they're out on the Hills Hoist in the sun. We were actually told about the antibacterial qualities of sunlight during antenatal classes and the fact the sun can help reduce stains.
Totally agree with you. Sweaty smell goes away quickly after washing and hanging sweaty clothes in the sun!
When I lived in Australia, the sun bleaching was something that was unpleasant for me.
@@ign_Kage I was gonna say doesn't the sun bleach the clothes? I wear a lot of brightly colored clothes, that would suck lol
@@butterpecanrican_ yeah dude any dark clothing of mine would start to turn orange, it was kind of wild, plus I can’t count how many spiders we found on out hang dryer hahahaha
@@ign_Kage OH GOD 😭😭😭😭
That was a very interesting video and definitely not something everyone has to think about to that extent but even marrying someone from the same country, just a different part of it, will have different expectations and traditions and it is a good idea to talk through all those things and figure out how you will deal with them as a couple!
great video. very entertaining and a nice look at subtle cultural differences
I've watched a lot of vlogs over the years by foreigners living in Japan. While I don't gravitate towards them anymore, I always spare time for your videos. I love the natural and positive vibes you bring. It's like we're really there, getting a sense of what life is like for you and everyone else. Well done. ^.^
Very interesting take on relationships in Japan especially within couples that have different culturally backgrounds. KEEP THE VIDS COMING!
Thank you! Will do!
it's just tyrannical
Married to an Asian woman, I’ve retrained my brain to respond “of course, you’re right” to my wife concealing my eye roll. This was not an easy skill to master.
Bud, you learn that for ANY woman, not just Asian ones
@@Nundevwizer😂😂 truth being told
Ah yes, the infamous simp mentality.
I'll never understand how people consider that a healthy marriage.
@@casr01 it’s been healthy for over thirty years now. It’s called not sweating the small stuff.
LOVE how you threw Biggie a shout out!!! Great video! Entertaining and informative. I also LOOOOOVE the cleanliness of Japanese culture. I always take my shoes off (Genkan) at the door and take a shower before bed. So cozy. 💖💖💖💖
Maiko-san, can you do a similar presentation; but from the perspective of what compromises Japanese spouses make for their foreign-born/raised partners? 🤔
@Retsu Takahashi - That would be interesting to see in a way.
But also I'm sometimes wonder if people didn't (or haven't) live with each other before they got married, as some of the simple problems could have been solved at that stage.
So it is reading about other culture (sometimes necessary if your partner is from a different one), and simply talking and asking questions.
Way before the marriage, or even way before even talking about the marraige.
As in this case "Why Japanese Wives Hate Foreign Husbands" may as well be "Why Japanese Husbands Hate Foreign Wifes"...
My point is, that people should talk to each other more, be honest, and also read more in some cases (different cultures) - before going for the marriage and then discover all of that way too late in some cases.
While I was in the US Air Force, I had a Japanese G-F. I should have married her, as she was so good to me.
Japanese compromise to a foreigner? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That will be a 0 second video, because there won't be any compromise
American wife with Japanese husband here! He and his family have taught me all of these over the years and are very particular about them! They make sense to me though so I have accommodated pretty much all of these; we run a very Japanese household (and raise our kids in a more Japanese way) even though we live in the US :)
The AC issue is a big deal for me but I live in Texas. I am willing to tolerate as high as 74 degrees Fahrenheit but it needs to be augmented by desk or floor fans.
That's just dumb. You should find more of a balance. Your heritage counts too.
@@meb5205 What the American heritage? There isnt one for that. Plus based off of her comment shes fine that way
@@terencesdurag2823 Mix of different heritages since America is a melting pot of cultures
@@terencesdurag2823 American heritage as in illegally invading other nations and being disgusting warmongers?
I really like hanging my clothes out to dry, but I live near Chicago and with the winter weather I do resort to using the dryer. However I have an electric dryer and a really trick filtering setup that vents the hot moist air into the house, it really makes the house so nice having that scent and extra moisture during the brutal cold snaps.
So many things are true here for my Vietnamese wife. The sitting down to pee felt overbearing at first but after realizing that as much as I tried, I couldn't avoid all the splashing, I had to give in. It was either that or wipe the toilet down each time I used it. One thing I didn't realize would be so impactful was the lack of a shared pop culture we have with her growing up in Vietnam. It affects comedic movies primarily, which I love, and so many of the jokes go right over her head.
Bro how bad is your aim. Lol and of course you should always clean up your piss driblets. 😂
...only a woman and children sits to pee. She took your 🥜. Way to go...your WIFE is the head of your house.
As a very much white and Western person (italian living in europe) I'm honestly quite shocked at the amount of people in this comment section that think that peeing while standing in your own home is normal, like, in Italy it's a thing reserved for particularly nasty public bathrooms.
Is this just an American thing?
Yes, I experienced the same pop culture differences with my former Japanese wife. She never really laughed at most comedies, but found things extremely funny in Japanese movies or videos that might just be something repeated several times. We had little in common in this regard.
@@dDoodle788 West European now living in East Europe and I've never heard of that. Every guy I know pees standing up. Sitting down is for when you need to do a number 2. Or if you have some kind of physical problem preventing you from standing.
I guess what must also matter a lot is the toilet size and shape, and how tall you are yourself.
Paolo is spot on with all the points he brought up in this video. My wife is Japanese and has called me on several of these issues, even though we've lived in the U.S. for 20 years!
Many of these same issues apply in cross-cultural relationships with women from other Asian countries. Being married for 50 years to a Malaysian, much of this sounded familiar. Compromise and understanding is key to make relationships last, particularly when East meets West!
Very informative and funny at times. Of course some things were surprising but made sense (except the bath thing, cleaning after use so it's ready for next person to me makes more sense) Good video, all happy marriages involve compromise and communication. 😉👍
4:55 This makes perfect sense to me. I'm doing it like this and I'm not from Japan.
Hi Paolo, thanks for the interesting video. I’m Indonesian and totally agree about the fluffy rice. I also hate it when kids are too lazy to fluff the rice when happen to be the first one taking it from the rice cooker. One reason to fluff the rice is becoz usually the top part is drier while the bottom part is more moist, so fluff the rice when it is still hot even out the softness, and eventually, makes it taste better.
Totally agree. I'm Malaysian Chinese and we always fluff our rice
I’m half Indonesian/Australian. I grew up with my Australian parent and learned to fluff rice as a teenager from my host mother while on a school exchange in Japan.
I can confirm that most Balinese people that I know do not fluff rice. They get annoyed and ask me why I’m bothering to fiddle around with the rice cooker, just eat it or move out of the way😅 Like, “ngapain aduk2 nasinya gitu, ambil makan dah!”
Agreed on fluffing the rice. Also, just to clarify, you don't necessarily fluff the rice every time. You fluff the rice when rice is just cooked and scoop the bottom rice to the top. When you take a portion of rice and the bottom of the rice cooker is exposed though, you want to redistribute the rice to cover that exposed area. This is because with some models of rice cookers, that exposed area will introduce more heat in the rice cooker and dries the top layer of rice quicker.
Oh I never thought of the top of the cooked rice being drier than the rest. This will definitely be a new habit for me. Thank you for the explanation :)
I am filipino chinese and I was raised to always change my outside clothes to inside clothes when I get home. Good to know other cultures do this too.
I am half fil japanese and i think this is common jn asian countries as we emphasize cleanliness
Filipino in California we do this to, once we get home we change.
my condolences
I did not know about some of these, this is nice to know
A great dive into Japanese culture. AGAIN!
Thank you posting your vids. I'm always learning something new.
Hey Paolo! I'm a 70 year old American. Never been to Japan and most of these make perfect sense to me. Particularly taking a shower(or bath) before going to bed. I was raised to always shower before going to bed. My parents made me. I raised my children (4)to do the same. Until I watched your older video that explained that I didn't know anybody would go to bed without bathing.
So we have a similar situation in the Czech Republic. We also shower in the evening to go to bed clean. After arriving at the house, we take off our shoes and change into comfortable home clothes. And in our family, we also sleep with an open window even in winter. Unless it's extremely cold or stormy. And so we prefer to dry our clothes in the fresh air. It saves a lot of energy.
Exactly. While watching the video, I thought to myself that I must be a Japanese woman.
How about mosquitoes? In my country, if I open the window even for like 10 minutes only, mosquitoes would all rush in like a starved little vampires.
I need to choose between can't sleep because of heat or can't sleep because of mosquito bites.
@@oo8962 We use a net for the window frame, the air can flow and the mosquitoes won't get through.
I learned so much about the home life style. I didn't know there were different kinds of bowls! How can you tell? Also, I agree with everything except the dryer issue ... Look, I love that warm feeling of my clothes coming out the dryer
Great vid. I spent the past year living in Korea and can see a lot of similarities. Wish i was aware of some of these things earlier
I would suspect that the freezer deadline is because of space of Japanese living quarters. You can't have a huge chest freezer anywhere to store half a cow. Plus, as he said, the culture of eating as fresh as possible.
Though honestly, I would cry if my partner would throw out meat after 2 weeks. It's so darn expensive.
yeah, if there's to much meat, it always goes into the freezer. its not like freezing veggies you are eating raw. i cant taste the difference from a frozen steak to a fresh steak
I agree with bathing before bed and also removing “ outside clothes “ I do this I don’t want the pants I used to maybe sit down outside on my bedding I also see how this can be annoying for certain people but it’s a habit for me I agree with cleaning with the bathtub after each person ! I cannot believe you have to throw away meat like that ! The meat can stay well for a very very long time
Imagine sitting on a public bench where people urinate, defecate, and all sorts of other things, then sitting down on your couch. Yuck.
Precisely. Even pre-covid I always made it a point to change out of my outside clothes and sometimes even go the extra mile to wash some of them the same day. Now that I think on it, all of my family does as well. I will never understand people who actually wear their jeans AND shoes on their bed. Psychopathic behavior, lol
You guys all have OCD, lol. I wonder if you guys get sick a lot because your immune systems are so low
@@twinklefire7241 Where do you live where people are doing all that on benchs??!!
@@twinklefire7241 Fun Fact: The sun's UV rays actually destroy bacteria, fungi, and algae from surfaces in 30 minutes. So those benches aren't as dirty as you think (even cleaner if it's rained recently beforehand).
Making rice fluffy, leaving shoes out, and bathing before going to bed at all basic rules to follow in Brazil too. As for dryer machines, I've never seen anyone have one but I'm pretty sure it's because most people can't afford it... or don't really need it. everything dries quickly from spring to autumn unless it rains or you live in a cold town
To be honest, drying machines not really worth it to begin with. Because it will dry for free and natural drying actually gives an amazing smell to the things, especially if it's done outdoors. Also people should have enough clothes at home to not need the freshly washed ones instantly, or should not wait until they run out of clean clothes.
And here in europe if you have a drying machine then people will think that you're got americanized (and never in positive way).
@@tovarishcheleonora8542 A drying machine dries way faster than the air, it's a no contest. These people are just stuck in the past and refuse to modernise. Japan is incredibly stubborn in changing its old ways.
Fun video! Interestingly enough I knew about 2, 3, 4, and 8. Though the different sized bowls were interesting. And thought 7 was mostly due to expense and space, but other reasons do make sense.
Just to add: My Aunt is not so happy with my uncle who is from Japan as he carries a strong commitment to his job, but does not help out too much with their kid. My aunt also took the role of handling most of their families finance. Not sure if this is the case with you and Maiko though.
I'm a Taiwanese and 25% mixed with Japanese. I have no problems with my foreign husband except number 4. It did bug me when he uses the bed without taking a shower. The bed sheet will become stinky 🤣 and I hated it especially when I just changed the sheet, but when he's sick I let him do whatever he wanted with the bed, I'd change the bed sheet often. 😁 My husband is for me to love and treasure, I want him to enjoy a good time with me. We seldom argue or conflict.
You are so sweet. 😊
What a woman
Such an understanding wife… I wish I could say the same about mine😅
why should you compromise for him though?
@@gwot to keep him! duh! lol!
This was super helpful to understand differences and what to expect with the culture. Communication and compromise is such a great thing to point out
Is that a washer and dryer all in one machine? Do they have any separate dryer machines?
I deeply appreciate the heads up.
What a great video! This is why you have so many subs! I'm Japanese American and I use the soy sauce bowls sometimes for salsa!
I can relate with the cleaning part here in Brazil, specially after the whole pandemic thing we had recently.
One behaviour we acquired is to change our clothes and take a shower before entering our house when we arrive from anything we had to do outside our property (we have an extra external bathroom in our back porch) like going to the movies, buying groceries, visiting someone and so on.
Brazil mentioned
“Like my man Biggie once said…if you don’t know, now you know.” I busted out laughing after that. Great content as always and thanks for sharing all things Japan. Hope to travel there one day for about a week.
My co-workers looking at me strange after I suddenly yell out *NGGAAAA*
@@rachidvanheyningen 😂😭😭
@@rachidvanheyningen HR will be calling you in a few days!!!lol
Im Australian and a lot of these things resonate with me. Bath before bed, no shoes in the house, fluff the rice. I only use a dryer on the coldest / wettest days when the clothes just aren't drying. I didn't grow up with air con so even though i have air con now, i rarely use it and prefer to keep the windows and doors open.
Why not keep an indoors drying rack or whatever is it called? For those days.
The bathing/cleaning tub/shoes ones makes sense just kinda how Ive always done it
Wonderful hints to be aware of when going to Japan especially for home stays. Please keep them coming. .. Cheers to you. ..
As an American Asian, I married a first gen Vietnamese gal and a lot of these also applies. The fluffing the rice thing...totally been there. I've since converted. I do think it does tastes better if for no other reason than because the fluffing evens out the texture differences between the lower and upper layers. The showering before bed...that didn't take much convincing because in hindsight, I wonder why I didn't do it to begin with! Showering before bed to avoid getting the bed contaminated with your day makes total sense. The frozen meat thing...I hadn't heard of before. I like to cut my own steaks and do quite a bit of vaccum sealing. She hadn't complained about the taste of the old frozen meats before. The wife does sun dry a few things...like bedsheets and blankets, but otherwise, she's content to use the dryer. As for the bowls, I did get some of that. I love eating a lot of rice so I typically use larger bowls. I've since reduce my rice intake due to doctor's orders and I now use the smaller rice bowls. I guess I already knew about the bowls, I just didn't adhere to their "intended" use. Lastly, yeah...my wife is rather forgiving. She tells me moreso to make sure I don't come off as impolite when we visit her parents than as a household rule. For some reason, because I'm Asian, I'm not given the same pass as white person would when it comes to etiquette with her parents. As with any relationship, if there's consideration, thoughfulness, and seeking to understand...then it's less likely these small things will become an issue. No relationship is perfect and fights are bound to occur (even amongst folks from similar cultural background), but it's how come to an agreement is what's important. Many agreements are talked about, and some are just tacitly understood. I guess the hardest part of being married was to let go of my ego for certain (many) things. I guess that's how I knew I found someone great; I didn't feel like a fool for letting go of that ego.
First-time viewer here. Great video!
great video ❤
OMG, I was floored about the frozen meat being thrown out. To each their own, but that would never work for me because I stock up on meat when it is on sale or clearance and we eat it for months after its bought.
Yeah, I learned if it's not freezer burned, the taste will still be there.
Was thinking the same thing! I imagine that a Japanese wife might not be a good match for a doomsday prepper, lol.
Yeah, it does seem like a colossal waste
@@radolfkalis4041 its one of the reasons Japan has a LOT of food waste.
I re-wrap and or re-portion before long term freezing, short term (1-2 weeks) usually not a problem. I do it because I remember my mom used to freeze packages, straight from the market, and they'd freezer burn.
But two weeks is a bit extreme, kind of like throwing out expired shelf food on the sell by date.
Thank you for explaining all these. Everyone of these topics my Japanese wife has asked me to do, as I did not personally care I just did it the way she wanted. It is nice to know it is a cultural thing. My wife loves the dryer, but many types of cloths shrink, so we use the dryer and air dry.
Very interesting! 😁
I love your attitude and spirit! Your videos are fun to watch...and educational.
Interesting list. I think a lot of this probably depends on how exposed your wife has been to western/other culture as well. My wife is Japanese and we lived in Japan, but she also had spent a couple years in America. She loved AC, took showers in the morning and used the dryer like every day. but at the same time she always fluffed her rice, no shoes in the house, and wanted me to sit down while I pee'd lol.
So depending on the environment of your upbringing I guess.
bro being from a country is not a character. you cant take one person to generalize ALL people.
@@Heyangel95 technically it does because the environment the people that are around you to make the person that you are now.
@@mr.wescottx7129 then you must be raised in a very ignorant, uneducated, closed mindset, inexperienced and racist environment.
@@mr.wescottx7129 people like you foster the idea that skincolor is character. this is absolutely bs. You stop thinking about people as people, but as your fantasy filled with superficialities, countries and their politics. it grosses me out. You probably never even talked with a real Japanese before, or after your mindset every person in China must be a manipulated robot. People are somewhat influenced by their people around them to some point(parents), but this normally stops when your enter puberty. Except if you are low IQ, just like you dude. My cousin for instance is a tattoo artists who makes good money, and who smokes a lot of weed in mainland china. He is not part of any gang, but just a cool dude, who thinks exactly the same like any other person who enjoys life. He cant speak English & never left the country. after your logic, people like him should not exist. After your logic, east asian woman must be docile, weak and submissive beings, but I know none who are like that. No matter if they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese. Even if they are from those countries and never left. Theyd probably beat the shit out of you for expecting that from them.
This was very fascinating. As for the bathing before bed I can get behind that I would still need to bathe in the morning .
The more I learn about Japanese culture, the more similar to my native Scandinavian culture I find it. It's kinda wild that going halfway around the globe, across cultures that increasingly becomes different from my own, and then suddenly, it becomes similar again.
It's quite similar cause for the longest time, both regions have been quite isolated from the world. While Scandinavia wasn't "as" isolated as Japan, it was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap. Scandinavia has also been quite "off the beaten path", the vast majority of at least Swedish history has been population booms followed by a good chunk migrating to other places (The Danes had their period of migration to England and northern France, creating Normandy).
Funny enough, at least the tribes of Sweden had some basic contact with Rome at one point where they traded animal pelts with the romans. Caesar might have written something about that in his commentarii, I remember he was quite fascinated by moose.
@@SvengelskaBlondie "Scandinavia was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap"? What the fuck are you talking about? The world doesn't revolve around America weirdo. Also most of the similarities are similar to Germany as well. Like seriously, what the fuck has commercialized flights to do with living in isolation. Where is your brain?
The rice fluffing is a must for my wife. Everything else she is pretty cool with. But as we live in Australia, I think that's why she puts up more than I probably realise. I think if we lived in Japan, it might be a bit of a different story.
Interesting video though Paolo, thanks for sharing.
Hearing about the clothes dryer made me laugh. The people who lived in the house we bought were an elderly couple, and the wife also didn't believe in drying clothes in the clothes dryer because of the expense. Why do that when you can hang the on the line outside for free? The family told us she used her clothes dryer to store her Tupperware in!
My wife hang dry in the summer. Natural drying plus kill bacteria with uv light.
@@naturalLin but detergents and hot water in washing machine already kills bacteria.
@@PuffOfSmoke well back than people can’t afford those things and people are generally frugal decades ago in China. It’s widely practiced habit
@@naturalLin People couldn't afford soap any detergents kills bacteria. I suppose if you just wash clothes with water then dry them but how would you remove the dirt. I guess you could use just fly ash and water pretty harsh though. Of course now in China fewer people have money due to the collapse in the economy due the housing bubble, so I can see it.
@@southcoastinventors6583 people used to use rocks or washboards to clean by the river or a bucket of water. This is really old school but they use wood sticks to beat the clothes.
Totally agree on the bath/shower before bed, most people I know are that way.
About frozen food. A lot depends on the freezing temperature. At home we have 2 freezers even. One is -18°C, the other -25°C. Technically they are both 4 stars, but we use the -25°C one for long term freezing. -18°C is the bare minimum. Anyway, ** freezers exist, in that case, about 15 days is the recommented amount of time.
IDK about Japan, but if the most common type there is **, it makes a lot of sense to throw aways food after 15 days. Well, no, I mean consume it before that, throwing food away is always bad. :)
But if you happen to have a **** freezer at home, you can preserve food for months.
For all the rest, it makes all sense to me. I'm Italian, it looks like we have a lot in common with Japanese people. We can be quite picky about the right tools to use in the kitchen, and food preparation in general, so even if we might not be as specific with bowls or fluffing rice, I totally get the mindset. We're civilized people not Gordon Ramsey. :)
The only thing I find wierd is sitting when peeing but - for splash control - I can't argue with the logic of it.
I think drying clothes outside makes sense in the dry season but so impractical when it's humid or rainy. And the amount of planning you need to do to make sure your outfits are dry when you need them etc. We struggled with this when we visited the UK, makes even less sense over there because it rains all the dang time! I love my dryer!
@jernejj5 idk about that lol a lot of eu appliances are too small in general. I want that american power and speed, ill pay the extra energy cost gladly lmao
Hi...
I really can't admit that i do love watching every episode of ur vdo.
I am currently interested in seeing how a daily life of Pharmacists in Japan. I'm really really looking forward to watching it sooner. 🙏
My EX Japanese wife was a mistake to marry, as all she wanted to do was argue abd throw tantrums, after a while I lost all interest with her, as she refused to meet me in the middle on anything and really just wanted to have everything her own way!
And as far as the bedroom I slept on the c"ouch" many nights, as after she got pregnant and after she had the our son sex became almost non-existent, well I fell away from her, and then she kept my relationship from my son away, and now he won't even talk too me, and hasn't for years!
You'll never understand how emotionally damaging it is, not being a part of your child's life, but I do!
The rice thing made me chuckle. Not married to anyone foreign here in the US, but was curious.
That miso soup with cabbage looks so good! Great video I didn’t know about the bowls. I sometimes use my Japanese tea bowl/cups for ice cream to not each too much :)
I can definitely relate to a lot of this, having been adopted (@ birth) by an American father and Japanese mother. Growing up on a farm/ranch in Wyoming, my mom was in a perpetual battle to keep things clean, but there was only so much she could do. Nighttime baths were definitely a thing, but I think that was more common in American culture back in the day, especially in rural areas. Hanging clothes outside (also more common in America historically) was a no-brainer in the hot, dry and windy Wyoming summers, but she’d use the dryer in the winter. Specific bowls weren’t an issue, as we only ate Asian dishes a quarter of the time.
I would be curious to see a comparison of these norms between older and newer Japanese. When my mother (1932-2019) came back from her father’s funeral in 1989, she said she barely recognized the younger generations of Japanese, and thought that they were as lazy and degenerate as us Americans. Accounting for the natural prejudices older people have for younger ones, it would still make for an interesting comparison.
Old japanese people are just as hypocrites like any older generación looking the younger ones, they Will always Bitter about their own life so they have to paint some of the awful bs they lived like it was better than now, "degenerates" says the culture of sexualizing childs and most of those degenerates are not young, are old/tradicional people that make the most disgusting things You could imagine while mantaining a facade of seriousness, discipline and prestige
My condolences regarding your mother.
I think this is the first time in my life that someone uses @ for its actual meaning "at"
American culture of hanging clothes outside? yeah bullshit, you will never see a modern clothes line in a house in USA they are heavily reliant on electricity and clothes dryers, my parents friends from Arizona still use a dryer in summer to dry clothes! it's crazy.
@@jasonswift7098 Many rural people still hang their clothes outside in the US. My cousins and Aunt still do. Their neighbors do.
The can't use AC during the night is stupid during summers because there is a technique used to reduce your A/C bills during hot summer days. Set your AC's automatic settings to during the night (right when you go to sleep) to lower the whole house anywhere from 62-65°F (16-18°C) and then shut off completely at sunrise have the AC shut off completely. The whole house will be super chilled and will naturally be warmed slower by the weather. You'll wont' get above 75°F (23°C) during the peak of the day where the outside weather is the hottest. The nice thing about this is your electric bill is lower during the evening because of less stress on the grid than during the day and will save you lots of money rather than having to have your AC run during the day. This works both well in the US and is extremely helpful in Japan during the hot summers. It's economical. You will be sacrificing some comfort during your sleep, but the body will eventually adjust to anything. I say saving money is better than a little discomfort. I understand the culture thing. But it's better than being uncomfortable during the day due to not running AC at all unless needed or having it run during the day instead which causes a big spike in the electric bill.
Interesting. I'm in the US, not Japanese and don't have any plans either to marry or move to Japan. But this kind of information gives you a lot of insight into the culture, which I enjoy learning about.
The rice bowl part is 100% understandable. I grew up where we had a Salad bowl that was only for salad and my dad would get in trouble for using it for making bread/cookies. I personally had a pot specifically for some foods for a while until I moved 3 times and it ended up in storage.
As always nice content Paolo, being a turkish/german i am together with my girlfriend now for nearly 5 years. Most of the point’s you mentioned are already very common in the turkish culture or atleast for me at home, so i never releazied some might argue about that. Really interesting!
5:00 i tought this was the same for everyone but i guess not, in Puerto Rico we shower at Morning, at Noon (if you at home) and before going to bed, also the same with brushing our teeth, i totally tought it was the same everywhere else lol
i'm just here because you have the same rice cooker as me and my japanese wife. she was very persistent we needed that brand cause its the tastiest
My favorite part "I make this mistake all the time, so she just lives with it.". I guess Miko's compromise was to live with it. lol. Thanks for another great video!
I mean, where's he going to find a salsa bowl... What is a salsa bowl? Haha
This is super accurate Paolo! When you go to Japanese restaurant in the US and the rice is packed right or scooped with an ice cream scoop, you know it’s not authentic because we love it fluffed! Make a part 2! I’m sure there’s more!
Why do Japanese seem to almost exclusively prefer white rice when so many other types and varieties are available?
@@schroeder4930 It tastes the best and has the best texture.
Most of the Japanese restaurants in the US are run by Koreans. LOL. Korean people don't fluff the rice in general (only a few households do it) That's why.
@@schroeder4930 Japanese people eat a specific type of white rice called hakumai.
I pretty much agree with the points mentioned especially on cleanliness and hygiene..
I'm Canadian and I completely agree on every single aspect here.
Except for the frozen meat. The moment meat is frozen it looses all value of "freshness" whether it be a month or a year so it makes no difference. This is literally a Gordon Ramsey meme.
I've always been someone who showers at night for the specific reason of wanting to feel clean before going to bed. For me I wash away "the stress of the day" and feel more relaxed afterwards. Depending on the season a cold shower in the summer or a warm one in the winter can help put you to sleep as you'll feel more comfortable with your body temp.
As someone who's dated several Japanese women, almost all of these resonate. The hardest to get used to was the bath and air conditioner one. I completely understand the logic of being clean before crawling into bed, but I always think it's important to be clean in the morning before wearing clothes and going to work. The difference is, Japanese don't believe that sleeping at night and sweating is dirty -- only leaving the home makes your body dirty. Perhaps it's because I'm a physician, but I'd rather deal with grass/dirt than sweat/bacteria. In reality, it's just a different priority as to when you want to be clean, but the best compromise is showering 2x a day!! Haha. And the A/C... ugh. As you said, they're more used to sleeping well while it's hot and humid -- I'm not. There are also some who believe that cold air will make them sick (pro tip - it doesn't... not washing your hands and touching your nose/eyes does).
lol my body runs extremely hot lol the ac would be non negotiable for me. i dont care about winter but in summer my =house is going to be a cool 70 period
I naturally produce heat...but I am accustomed to no AC.
Showers in the evening ease the sleep...and of course a quick shower before new clean clothes is also ok...
I might be terrible uninformed by saying this but as an asian lass myself I think it's generally okay for us to just shower only at night because we have less apocrine sweat glands lol crawl into clean sheets clean and exit just as clean I guess
@@plue5068 married couples sometimes do others things in bed but only sleep........ things that make you need a shower in the morning.
2x a day is bad for your skin, that's what my doctor tells me anyway. I have no fixed habit, sometimes I shower in the morning, sometimes in the evening
besides learning neat things about these relations...I didnt know there where all in one washer dryers! XD
1:30 we're getting into the stream of things...
nice pun :D
I'm American married to a Dutch woman. I'm surprised at how many cultural differences we've experienced. It's been a "thrill ride" for sure. You're very correct - compromise is the key to happiness in marriage. Loved the video - Thank You!
How are dutch women?
@@mth469 In general? Tall. ha (They are the tallest people on average.) They are very direct, and independent. I found it very refreshing, when I didn't find it frustrating. lol All in all, the cultural similarities lull you in, and the differences surprise you. I wouldn't trade the experience.
By independent you mean she didn't expect you to buy her love like is the strange norm in the USA?
Compromise is the key even if both are from the same street, not talking of opposite sides of the planet :)
I lived in Japan for 3 years and that is where I met my husband. I am American and he is Japanese. He moved from Japan to Ca and we have been married for almost 23 yrs. We follow none of these but probably because he just adapted to my ways of living LOL
That's a Very good Husband Ur really lucky ^^
Yeah but he a dude so you already looking at lower standards.
My Japanese from Japan husband I also feel has done the same! You never realize these little adjustments
It seems that guys are more willing to adapt in certain instances.
The video is about wives not husbands! Don't care your opinion Rebecca!
8:56 some things benefit from going through a dryer such as towels and socks. For most clothes air drying is fine.
Wow, these are actually really sensible ideas. Ty for sharing.
Great video. We're a Filipino couple but some of these apply to us as well. No shower = no bed. No shoes past the doorway, we use house slippers and have spares for guests. We also peel off street clothes as soon as we get home. Fluffy rice for sure. The sit-down #1 thing is new but makes sense. I may start doing that. I might get points for it :))
Well some Philippines are mixed with Japan and on top of that you’re from Asia even know a lot of Philippines Consider them selves which pretty much they are Hispanic lol mix with other things ethnicity
@@daviddicks35 (sigh) Please learn to write cohesively. Rice is the staple crop of most of Asia, and removal of outdoor wear prior to entry into the home is common across cultures. It doesn't always have to be something introduced.
Furthermore, Filipinos are not Hispanic. Hardly any Hispanic person regards them as such. I would know. I'm Hispanic. They are Asian. Plain and simple. People like you exaggerate the mixed nature of the Philippines, pointing out every single foreign influence on Philippine society, and then completely ignoring the culture that is already indigenous to the country. It's incredibly reductive of a very complex and rich cultural identity. The Philippines has a very rich culture if you look at it holistically and not just "haha, there's Spanish here, American here, Japanese here."
@@romanr.301 (sigh) please stop being a know-it-all bully. Have a nice day 🙂
Paolo is a Filipino
@@romanr.301 You need to research the meaning of Hispanic first.
I'm married and we are both Australian. I can't speak to how "standard" these practices are but a lot on this list are things we've always done. Bathing/showering in the evening before bed, no shoes in the house, no getting on the bed or couch with dirty work clothes. I clean the bath before I use it because we have cats and I brush my hair in the bathroom so it's always fluffy by the time I take a bath anyway. We have also never owned a dryer, so are used to line drying our clothes, although my family did have one when I was still living at home. And we do have the AC on in summer so we can sleep because we have hot humid summers very similar to Japan (35° at night and 80-100% humidity) but we agree on that so it doesn't matter!
Oh and he bought me a rice cooker a few years ago and I'll never go back! They are the best and you can make so many things in them, even cakes.
It saves a lot of grief in the end when both partners have a shared set of expectations. So it's best to discuss cultural issues and bridge the gap before marriage.
Man, I really dig how clean they are and they’re preference to fresh food. I do however, like the convenience of a dryer for some clothing.