Dad gets emotional and it’s heartbreaking (over his brother Bill)
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- čas přidán 19. 12. 2023
- Dad wouldn’t stop looking and asking for his deceased brother so I had to tell him the truth. These are the most difficult conversations we have with him. Dementia Sucks!
I took care of many people with dementia and most of their children barely visited let alone care for them. This is a amazing son.
Son is well taken care of his father, and dad is very gentle old man with memory problems.
Some people with dementia or any memory loss problems hard to deal with them so have to lock them in the room.
When I saw him pet the dog, when Dan first told him that Bill has passed, my thought was, he's trying to sooth himself. Wonderful man.
I thought the exact same thing! We find comfort in our pets! Coco wasn't budging when Dan told him to move. Grandpa needed Coco!❤😢
Yes, my thoughts as well. Also, it was so good to see Grandpa Ed smile at the end of the conversation. God's blessings to all.🌻💗🙏
What a difficult situation. I feel so sorry for him but also for you. I’m in the same situaton. My mother is from ‘31. Turning 92 on christmas day. I admire how you interact with your dad. Give HIM a hugg. My mother needs huggs very much. To feel that warm connection. See feels lovely very often because she forgets we were there.
She’ s living in a home 5 min from mine.
Wish you all a very good and warm Christmas from Holland! ❤
Exactly! 😢
I thought the same. He was taking comfort in the lovely dog.
My dad had dementia. My mom passed away during this time. When he would ask for her we said she was shopping (which she loved to do) and that she would be there later that day to see him. There was no need to put that grief on him over and over and over again. He was happy and by the time mom would have been there to visit him he would have forgotten and moved on to something else. Just no need.
Agree. Sounds like a good idea to have her shopping instead.
The dog knew dad was distressed , comforting him. Bless dad’s sweet heart. You’re a sweet, kind son. ❤
Thank you for your patience with him. I know your tired but you won't regret it.
Hi Dan,
I am a nursing assistant and I work with people with dementia. I would suggest that you print out the obituary of his brother Bill and a picture and put it in you Dad’s room where he can see it everyday. Perhaps also place a picture of his other siblings with their names and their contact information as where they live.❤
That’s a great idea! ❤
Yes as someone struck by senior moments in midlife (lupus brain involvement) my working memory is not as short lived but even I've had to relive, and regrieve, the news of lost loved ones. Yet just as photos, videos, email, and text threads "reset" the timer I'm sure this could help preserve his memory of the loss of his bro. Every blessing in 2024.
This made me cry sorry Dan that's a hard thing for you
I agree, it would be good to have laminated sheets with various info and reminders around the house.
GMTA
I WAS THINKING A POSTER BOARD WITH PICTURES OF ED'S SIBLINGS/FAMILY AS SOMETHING TANGIBLE FOR HIM TO VIEW WHEN DESIRED ❤
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. 👍
BLESSINGS
The dog sensed he was upset and wanted to stay by him. I bet it hits hard every time he hears this. Love you Dr. Ed!
🙏✝️❤️😭
The Gerrman sherpards is taking good care of Ed...... it's like a service dog like disabled people have. They're the best. He's standing at Ed's door wait'n to go inside with him to comfort him..... SOOOOOOOOO adorable; loveable n LOVELY.
So sad yet he's blessed to have a VERYYYYYYYYY good family members to take care of him.
The dog is so wonderful to have with him! I love German Shepherds they are the best dogs, I had 4 in my life. Coco will definitely give him love.
He’s so tender hearted. What a sweet man. ❤
Dad raised a good son... we have a lot to learn from this channel.
❤I agree
Amen! ❤
This guy is making money off of his dad's suffering and sickness I know for better or worse. My dad would smack the living hell out of me. If he was so alive, had I done something like this. This guy is a scumbag son in my opinion
@@paulsmith2279and you don’t think or understand that this helps many many people that are struggling to take care of their dementia and Alzheimer’s loved ones? I’ve seen in my own family people handle these situations so poorly and make an already incredibly tough thing even worse.. Dan has done amazing things and shows this brutal truth in a way that is loving and kind. I only wish for someone to help me as such. I don’t mean to come at you negatively at all, in the future I ask that you think about both sides of the coin before saying something, it may give you a better viewpoint going forward. Mother Gaia blesses all of us and i wish a healthy and great future to you friend.
I agree
coco is a very smart dog, he knows when grandpa is sad good dog.
What a guy!!! He may have some memory lost but he never forgets how much he loves and cares for his family.
Soooo HEART MELTING ❤
Same as my dad. He is 91 with dementia. What a blessing for this family that they can stay home to care for their Dad. Such a sad illness.
This man is the true definition of being your brother's keeper ❤️
Coco is Dr Ed's comfort animal whether he likes it or not ❤. God bless you, Dan and thank you, Coco, for your unconditional love.
Coco is always looking out for him
Coco is amazingly in tune with Grandpa, so much love in your home Dan 💞
I thought the exact same thing. Coco
knew dad was distressed and was there to comfort him. ❤❤❤animals are angels , so sweet🥹🥹
German shepherds are the best. They quickly pickup on their hooman emotions and are very protective 🤍
I couldn’t imagine having to break the news to him about his brother over and over again and relive his sadness. Bless you guy!
Only thing is ( if it can be considered a blessing.) He won't remember a few mins later.
@@mamacindyrogofsky495yep and that's why I'd say Bills gone out on an errand or something believable.
@@Marie.b He has the right to know the truth.
The smile when he heard he’s 92 and says “that’s pretty good” ❤ bless you guys 🙏🏻
4:10 this part of the conversation goes to show that no matter how old you are, your younger siblings will always be the baby’s to you. when you were explaining how it gets harder to travel in old age he started to say she wasn’t old with his “oh no she’s not that ol- she’s younger than i am” so adorable. our elders must be protected
Also, i think you might want to say "died", instead of "passed" because he seems to have a harder time understanding "passed". Bless your dad! Hes a sweet man!!❤
I love it when Dan tells Grandpa his age, and he says I was born in 1932.
You should ask him stories of his childhood, those beautiful memories may need to be remembered for his comfort 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
God bless y’all!
I would also like to hear about his childhood.
I feel like I know you. My mom’s in the same boat as your dad. So tough. The worst for my mom is that she’s losing the Bible that’s been etched in her heart since she was a tiny child. She can’t remember her favorite passages. Good thing she told them to me so many times that I can now share the passages with her.
Thank you and God bless you for sharing this with me. It’s tough to be in this situation. And I feel utterly alone on this planet.
Awww... God Bless You and Your Mom!!... You are not alone... The Good Lord is with you both... Please hang in there 🙏... My thoughts and Prayers always!... ❤
Oh rest assured they are still in her heart!! Guaranteed!!!
He is just so adorable. His “thank you” at the end was like a signal that he is okay now and is back to the present. Much love to your whole family.
The good Dr Ed is always polite, despite everything he goes through, he never forgets his manners to say thank you 🙂
I think all those years of being a Doctor and showing respect to his patients is still there in showing love and respect for his family ❤❤❤
Gosh, I just had a phone call with my sister who has dementia. She was lucid, we joked and had a beautiful conversation. The in an instant she asked, who are you?
It’s so hard. I love Ed, and you and your family are precious. ❤
🤗🤗🤗
Thank you, Dan, for all that you and your family do for your dad. Coco seems to know grandpa's fragile state, so Coco chooses to be close to him almost at all times. Such a sweet dog. ❤
And, I noticed in his grief he reached out to pet Coco comforting himself when it seemed to him nobody else was there for him...
You handled that well so sad to see his face when he realizes his brother Bill is no longer around 😢.
My heart breaks for dad and when he said thank you, I lost it and the tears that had been building fell. I wish I could hug him. You're a good son Dan. Blessings to you both.
I really felt the same way 😢
I have also wished many a times, I wish I could hug grandpa Ed! Truly a gentle, kind, caring soul💞
Thank you for sharing your interactions with your beloved dad! So reminiscent of caring for my 95 year old mother-in-law who also suffered from dementia. God bless you and your family!
So glad that you said PASSED AWAY. He passed is so incomplete
Wow this is the most heartbreaking part in my opinion. Forgetting loved ones past and grieving over and over again. You're so awesome Dan!! ❤❤❤❤
You are amazing with your Dad. My Mom is a little further on with her dementia. These are excellent examples of how to handle difficulties of communicating with her. Thank you🙏🏼
Grandpa is such a good hearted man! He loves his family so much❤
My grandpa was the same asking about my gran who had died years previously, all the best to you Dan, we all love grandpa Ed.
How long do they continue to ask? Is there ever a t8me where they forget the person ?
Seems like they only temporarily forget about the person, but then after a while they start asking after that person again. My mum, who turned 94 two days ago and has dementia, has been constantly asking about my dad who passed on in 2008 at 92 years old! But it’s been two months now that she hasn’t asked for him, instead she’s asking for her sister who we don’t know coz she passed on years ago when they were both young girls!😢
@@berrymaswikiti3028 Mom died 2001, and yes she said things also that scared her, and made no sense at time. Like Ed it was right after she had been a sleep, The only thing and it's just me. I think Dan should say dad Bill Died, instead of passed, Ed always seem to not understand Dan. I always say my older son died. He died in 2016 after a back operation, I just made up my mind I had to accept he was dead, so never use the word passed. I may catch trouble over this comment, but I hope not. I know they have it very rough with Ed. The one thing I noticed also is Ed always knows Danielle's name.
@@berrymaswikiti3028Yah it's like they remember things when they were young. Dementia makes their brain smaller only to remember the past more than the present. It sucks really 😢
My mom is 97 and I’m so grateful that she still has her mind intact. The body’s not in very good shape but the minds good. God bless you all for the love and support you all give your dad. Is very special. ❤
That’s great
I absolutely love Grandpa. I adore this man. I can see what a good man he is. True to the center of his soul. Than you for sharing this precious soul with the world. You are doing such a wonderful job full of love and patience.
Dan is a gem. Taking time to create videos of substance, to acquaint us with the family taking care of his Dad 🙏🏽. I love the way Dan loves his Dad and family. I wish for continued blessings on this very special family. I Love Dan's patience.
I really appreciate how you take the time out and dedication to making all these amazing videos.
Money 💰 🤑
Sad last comment no need for it
Dan, I would love to hear stories of Bill and their sister. Grandpa Ed clearly loves them deeply so we've gotten attached to them, too. I love hearing about the special people in Grandpa's life.
I love this Dr. Ed. What a swell man. 😊
Wow, the love, patience and care you give is amazing!
Thanks for sharing Dan. Your Dad and you are helping a bunch of us in different ways. Thanks again
Hi Dan and Daniel. I think the reason your dog is standing behind Grampa is because hes trying to protect him from falling. He sences your fathers stress. Such a sweet pup. Take care From Ontario, Canada 🇨🇦 🐕🦺🦮🐾💞
I love when he says "pretty good" after you mention his age!!! Always. ❤
This shows just how much loved he had , your a great son and the love your dad has for his family is just outstanding
Simply cant get enough of this precious Dad!🙏🏼💙🙏🏼
That was definitely heartwrenching... I must admit though I chuckled when he said he looking in the cushions for his brother.
Good bless you and your dad
So sad for him to have to keep reliving the death of his brother. 😔 Love you Dr Ed ❤
Hi Dan, man the way you handle each situation is outstanding. You are straight to the point but still with some tenderness. God Bless you, your pops and family. :)
You’re an incredible son. It’s heart warming more than sad. You’re father clearly means the world to you and your paying everything back. Bless you both. I’ll be there for my dad just as you are there for yours!✝️🙏🏼❤️
What are you talking about? This guy is incredibly cruel. Geez.
@@rmh691 sorry
This is the only the second video I have seen by this creator so my comment is based on these only . They were probably suggested to me because my father has dementia. The son has no training how to deal with a parent with dementia. He should go to the Alzheimer’s Association and get into a support group. You never correct them and repeat the facts over and over the way this son does. You meet them where they are, and that often involves white lies to help the person feel a level of comfort and safety. The way the son deals with his father only creates anxiety in the mind of the dad. If you think about it, it’s really just common sense.
The other video I saw was about the son needing to fly the following morning and the son just kept going around in circles with his dad, which just heightened anxiety for his dad. When he should’ve done was distract and deflect. He was only heightening dad’s anxiety the way he was interacting with him. So I don’t know if the guy is just plain ignorant or cruel, but It’s just all so wrong.
Dan, if it is at all possible for Ed to see his sister, please make that happen. If there’s even a remote possibility that he can remember or retain the happiness that he gets from seeing his sister you want him to have that before it’s too late the days are not promised to us. All the best to you and your family.
He saw her last year. He does not remember it. If he saw her now and she left he wouldn’t remember it an hour or two later. She is about 82. Ed doesn’t travel anymore.
And possibly record it so he can watch it on tv when he asks about her. He can see that she’s well and remember that he just saw her, in a sense. ❤
You could face time❤ 5:09
@@nadinewolfe405 really, the man has been dead for over 15 years 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@kimstewart35 all these comments are about Ed’s sister.
Read before writing a sarky comment.
Dan you are so gentle with Dad and I can relate to your conversations and although it’s hard I really miss those conversations with my Dad…❤
An uplifting channel as we approach our "golden years". Appreciate your patience & strong connection with your father. So glad that you & your family are taking care of him now.
Bless you for helping and loving your dad!! You never falter in explaining no matter how many times or how long it takes! Love that your dog could sense his pain and that’s why she was there with him
You even see Coco trying to comfort poor Grandpa Ed. Dan you're doing a great job. Please hang in there. Wishing you, Danielle, Grandpa Ed, Mark and the entire family many blessings during this holiday season. ❤
Awww, CoCo is protecting his Grandpa.
It's so sad that he and you have to go thru this over and over. Your family has big hearts! God bless you all!
Just loved your pops smile when you told him he was 92 and his response, "pretty good uh?" Bless him!!
Stay strong for him buddy, its hard but he needs you. I went through exactly the same with my mother before she passed. 🙏
Bless your Dad's heart. You do a marvellous job caretaking him. He seems like such a lovely man.
My heart breaks 💔 knowing he relives his brothers passing. My dad is just starting down this road. This channel helps me so much! Just knowing you're not alone helps. I'm getting great tips from the comment section too. I wish our country was more set up for this.
There’s Dementia Caregivers blog that’s very good, it has really helped me understand the condition better and give better care to my mum and also made things easier for me as well!❤
Aww it is heartbreaking... my dad went through his book and tried calling people in England that had passed many years before. Bless you xo
So sad
@@dsalnorcal1434I'm really feeling for you. There is nothing sadder in this life than seeing the tears welling up in your parents eyes.
My heart breaks for Grandpa Ed.May Bill RIP.Sending love and blessing to you all.
Mines too. They must’ve been really close ❤
He' s always so sweet and very polite, no matter what he forgot and what he asks. Congratulations to you all as well ❤❤❤.
God bless this man he reminds me of my grandfather, you are an amazing son Dan. Big respect from Manchester uk 🇬🇧. X
Awe he really LOVES his brother Bill... He reminds me so much of my peapaw.. I love watching ur videos it brings me so much JOY & happiness... Much love from Indiana
Thankyou for being so patient and kind to dad. He must have been a great father. Bless him.
The range of emotions in a 5 minute time span. 🥺 My heart goes out tho this family fans every family dealing with these issues). It has got to be heartbreaking on another level bc of the repetition. This man went from telling his son the year he was born, to questioning the year he was born. I can’t imagine the turmoil he must feel when he doesn’t know where important people are and doesn’t understand why he can find them or doesn’t see them. Truly a tough battle and this family handled is with like a class act. Inspirational and educational. You all are greatly appreciated. 💜
Ed really loves his family. Huge respect. I find people with dementia tend to really forget the issues they don’t want to be true.
Sometimes I wish I could
I'll have dreams where I re-live a place & people of the past. I wake up momentarily confused. It can have an unpleasant quality, similar to what people feel when they've just discovered their credit card, wallet, purse, etc, is missing. Or they've just gotten into a car crash, much less when they've just learned a person close to them has died.
Huge respect man
This is so sad . You could see the sadness on his face . DAN , you’re doing a great job with your Dad . God will reward you and Danielle . God Bless .
Yes God will bless you and Daniele for all the love and care you give your dad! I love your whole family. I took care of my mom for 9 years. She had short term memory loss, so I know how frustrating it can be sometimes. I did like you. I would just tell her things over and over lovingly. You are so awesome and patient with him. My mom went home at 90. She would hear the singing from heaven about 5 months before she passed. The angels were singing “When the Roll is Called up Yonder, I’ll be There”. Of course I couldn’t hear them! She even told me Jesus came to see her one day when I came home from work. She even described what He looked like! God took care of her until I could get home. I had to work! I love you all. Keep up the good work! 3:51
This brings back so many memories of my mother. Bless his heart. You do a great job as a his caregiver. As caregiving children for our parents. We learn so much. #1 Patience! You will never regret all you have done for your dad! God bless and Merry Christmas to you are your family! ✌️❤️🎄
I love how respectful you always are to your dad, Dan. You are a wonderful and special man, just like your dad. God bless you
Sometimes I wonder if we only get to see the best of him because he's such an exceptional man. I can't imagine anyone handling their situation better than he does.
Coco can feel his distress😢
You go through dad’s pain with him every day.Your compassion is to be commended l know how much you all love him thanks for this update ❤❤
I just want to hug him every single time I watch these videos. What a wonderful man. He reminds me of my Dad. You're a good Son, Dan. I love your patience!
Bless Grandpa, having to relive that sadness over and over, he was initially in panic mode, not finding Bill. He must have been a watchful, good older brother. You do a good job, Dan, as hard as it must be. I was glad to see his smile at the end. Even if it was in frustration of not having his siblings right there and learning again, he's 91, soon to be 92
This man has my whole heart. Thank you, Dan, for being such a great son.
Thank you for sharing your Dad , and the horrible disease of Dementia and what you all are dealing with . It helps many people to learn how to deal with others with the disease and the patience needed and how to redirect to help them. I love your Dad . Blessings to you all 🙏❤️
Dan, you show the best setting. and i admire your willingnes to go deep for one ov your parents/ family members. thanks to you people remember family values.again. truly appreciated...
❤ Dan, I've been where you and your family is. My dad was 91, fell broke his hip in April 2022, had surgery and was never the same. 5 months later in September became unresponsive and died peacefully in assisted full time living center. It was like ground hog day everyday explaining to him things and watching him relive and grieve each tradgy all over again. I totally get it and know the mixed emotions you go thur. My heart goes out to you and Danielle and it only gets harder as you travel down this path. May God lift him up during this transition and give you all peace knowing his fighting a hell of a fight. Your patience is absolutely beautiful and unwavering.
Bless his heart that is very heart breaking such a kind gentleman
Its sooo beautiful that your Dad clearly loves & cares deeply...Wow! Since there are no filters, you get to see his truest self! What a gift!💕
Wray a wonderful man ! Dan you’re so good with him and patient! Great temperament with him as well, he can talk about it bc you’re so gentle with the discourse ! I sure am happy to have stumbled upon your pop ! I thought he may have needed a hug 🫂 🤗
I love that he was proud to be 91. Made him smile after a sad convo.
Ooh dear ...this is sad💔
Grandpa even teared... 😢
Bless you Dan for being so patient ... glad he lit up at the end❤
We love you both very deeply thank you for taking time to teach us all.
I adore your Dad, his smile is everything. I take my hat off to you. It’s a huge undertaking to care for him and having to repeat heartbreak over and over again must take its toll. Your Dad raised a true and wonderful man.
His smile when he realizes that he's almost 92 is EVERYTHING !
“Pretty good 😏”
He never forgets the year he was born.
These videos are truly amazing, I really appreciate you allowing us to be a part of your life with your amazing Dad.
He is very lucky to have you.
Dan, you are such a wonderful person and your dad is so lucky to have you. So much love, so much care. How you deal with your wonderful dad with patience and grace is just amazing. It should be an example for everyone. The way he smiles and says "Okay..." at the end... I just want to hug him...
Coco knows that Ed is struggling and is trying to stay close to him.
Great job Dan, you are like my youngest who toom care of our parents up to their last moments. God Bless you more!
He’s so dear. I love how you ride him through these memory lapses and bring him back to real time and land him safely home Dan. It’s must be so heartbreaking for you both but what you do is really beautiful.
Dan, my heart truly goes out to you and Danielle. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to relive this moment over and over. I wish I could give Grandpa a hug. His love for his brother is precious.
I love that you ALWAYS tell him he was there! As many times as it takes ! Been following you all a long time. It seems like this hard conversation gets harder as time goes along!
Dan, I don’t know your dad, but I so adore him. Such a warm smile and kind spirit. You are so blessed to have such a father… and so is he to have such a son. I want to hold his hand and hug him every time, and especially in this video. You are very kind and honoring of your father as we are lovingly commanded to do. God bless you and your father and your entire family.
I recently stsrted to watch your videos I have worked with the elderly for 32 years and i applaud your patience and Love when dealing with your dad God Bless Your Dad and of course you and your siblings
You're an all-star Mr Dan!!! Mr Ed is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have him. That's tough
I salute you for your patience and taking your time to explain to him about his brother. You are doing the best for your dad and help him with this journey of dementia. Take care of yourself and big hug to your dad.
God bless him, and the whole family. You’re all doing a great job with Ed.
Thank you for loving and being so kind to your dad ❤
Thank you for taking such great care of him! I know how hard that has to be on you to keep reminding him of things and for him to have to keep being reminded of his brother's passing. It's fresh to him each time.
Dan- i found your channel 2 weeks ago and you and grandpa changed my life. I live in Southern California and I cannot go a day without watching you and grandpa Ed. I love his sweaters. He is the sweetest human. Thank you for what you do. Your pops reminds me of my grandpa who is in his 90s in Central America and I go visit him every year. You have so much respect and kindness to your dad and that shows on the videos. You truly are an inspiration of what and how we should be in this world. Cherish all these moments and please don’t ever stop showing us your family adventures. Much respect and love to you, Danielle, your family and all the pets 💜🙏