@@ms.corona4626I thought it was weird he mentioned how beautiful his sister was, her legs, many mentions of her hair, etc. Now that makes sense. As you said his personality was trash too. I’m just curious when he did it bc we know he was at home at some point that night since he showed the parents the pictures. How would he have known when she would leave? And how did he get her out there? But anyway it was a decent story. I almost didn’t make it through how unbearable his personality was.
I listened to this on my podcast app but had to come comment on the video to show my appreciation of this Absolutely phenomenal story. Extremely well written and told. I loved it, absolutely loved it. An amazing coming of age story with a sinister twist. The foreshadowing with the magnet on the microwave. Genuis Credit to the author because he is a master storyteller. Also huge respect to the narration by Erik who always does a great job.
After his parents went to bed. The small brown package that stuck to the toaster was the magnetic clasp from the dupe necklace he ordered and planted on the boyfriend. Brother seems to just be a sociopath. A meticulous planner too. I thought the comment he made about shedding his extra weight when he turned X years odd but now it fits with the personality. What I assumed was autism was actually sociopathy. Chilling.
@dostagirl9551 I've been called evil for not seeing the distinction as anything more than personality defects, good folks become Sheldon or Rain Man and baddies end up this kid. Awareness.
I enjoyed the story but the ending just didn't feel right to me. It's exceptionally rare for a sociopathic sexual deviant that rapes and murders his sister to have close friends. He's also meant to be smart, if he was so smart he surely would have chosen a stranger as a huge amount of victims are attacked by someone they know. A solid 7/10.
This was an amazing story. I normally hate spoiling things, but there was too much brilliance in this to not comment. I’ll space out the spoilers from this section of writing just to be polite. Wow. Just wow. Amazed at how this was laid out. The small brown package sticking to the toaster from earlier was the dupe necklace used to frame the boyfriend. I was wondering when that would come into play. The emotional awkwardness that I attributed to autism turning out to be sociopathy. I should have known from his social interactions and lack of sensory issues but just assumed since we are so much more aware of and naturally gravitate towards more acceptable forms of neurodivergence. The overly calculative mind revealed by his plans to lose weight when he turned a certain age as if his entire life is meticulously mapped out - that bit of internal monologue really stool out to me as creepy and unnatural - to mimic the normal and expected milestones of growing up because he is aware that he is not normal. Just brilliant! Someone asked why. Well, with little to no morality nor sentimentality to interfere with his desires, he simply took what he wanted. It was clear he thought his sister was the most beautiful girl out of all of the school peers, was entering that hormonal age (Playboy magazine admission), and wouldn’t be encumbered by social taboos such as incest. Truly chilling. The only flaw that I saw was the mantis classes. As a plot device, it was quite creative. But his ability to plant the necklace on the boyfriend as he did was dependent on a lot of factors that would not have been present had the body been discovered at any numerous other times. I can only imagine he planned on putting it in the boyfriend’s car or home instead and just took advantage of the situation. I know the mileage was brought up, but as someone who routinely walked two miles each way to elementary school every day, it doesn’t take nearly as long as you would think and the bat could have been planted ahead of time and his sister been convinced to take the wooded short cut.
@@malovelaI guess he knew it would look bad, but I feel like there had to be better ways. Plus he didn’t have time to flush the toilet?! It takes less than a second.
I love a good mystery and this was such a good mystery!! Amazingly written and amazingly told! Kinda have to say that emphasizing on the "package" that was delivered to Newt (Lucas) gave away more than was intended, but I still did enjoy it very much!
Great story - well-crafted/written, and narrated perfectly! I’ve read others’ comments and analyses and agree about the many “plot holes”. The timelines don’t add up and too many conveniently coincidental random events. One lingering question: why did the brother need to purchase a near-duplicate of the necklace when he could have planted the real thing on the boyfriend? Did he want to keep it as a trophy? Was the magnetic necklace easier to plant? Again, EXCELLENT story, but the narrative needs a lot of cleanup and revamping.
If they did a little research, especially on the justice system as it does not work that fast at all, the author would be on track to be a legend for sure. There was enough probable cause Derrick definitely would’ve gotten off the hook. And not even checking phone records? Where did their phones go? Plus why did his alibi not hold up, he’s at least eligible for an appeal lol
I think it is important to say, that I fully enjoyed and could not stop reading the Potter books. Infact I have not read another book since completing The the Potter series.... This story and narration, held my intrest as much as Harry Potter did. I was fully engaged, wondering where things headed, did not see the ending coming. I will have to listen to the last 30 minutes again. Just to be sure I caught all the plot points. To the Author, I would love a part 2 to the story. What happnes to newt. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Now THAT was a great story. Every aspect involved. My favorite type of Creepypasta. No haunted house, no wendigo...just pure, unadulterated human nature's evil side showing it's teeth. 😮
excellent storytelling and a good story until the twist ending. The story writer did not know the twist at the end until they wrote it because listen to the story again there is no way that the brother, the fat kid could have done it. the party was 5 Mi away the brother was at home at a time when his sister would have still been alive or just recently killed on top of that he could barely get across the river just carrying his own weight now you're going to tell me he carried his dead mutilated sister across the river. the ending is as flimsy as the magnetic clasp to the necklace which he received only that night the night of the murder I mean I guess that's where supposed to get out of the package that stuck to the refrigerator ? not to say I did not enjoy the story but the twist ending did make me go back and review the story a second time and there's no way the brother did it. please if anyone sees anything different that I missed that leaves it open for the ending please let me know.
@@ferret495 thank you for replying and pointing out my error. I also really liked the story the ending just caught me off guard and it just didn't seem right
I agree with you, should have added something like the post he showed the parents was just a screenshot from earlier and maybe if her body had been closer to his backyard without needing so much physical exertion for the kid. Idk I liked the story though the ending was unexpected
Man😮, that was a very good story. He was freakin' evil! His friend..bless heart 😢. Excellent characters, they made you feel for them all. Even have you say why Newt, why.😔
Well written and engaging, the ending was an overkill that made little sense, besides just throwing the reader off for shock value. It was going so well in character developing, the brother progressing to open up and to gain confidence.... Yeah it made no sense.
The story was exceptionally well written but the twist at the very end completely threw me off.
Same.. sick to my stomach
Freaking awesome. I was walking m bulldog and had to stop. Because I was just beside myself. Great job
@@bryanmontgomery3144 Right I kept asking did he really...did he...OHH FFS😵😵💫😖
I knew it! I wasn't expect how they it would come to light! But I had a feeling by his nonchalant personality
@@ms.corona4626I thought it was weird he mentioned how beautiful his sister was, her legs, many mentions of her hair, etc. Now that makes sense. As you said his personality was trash too. I’m just curious when he did it bc we know he was at home at some point that night since he showed the parents the pictures. How would he have known when she would leave? And how did he get her out there? But anyway it was a decent story. I almost didn’t make it through how unbearable his personality was.
I listened to this on my podcast app but had to come comment on the video to show my appreciation of this
Absolutely phenomenal story. Extremely well written and told. I loved it, absolutely loved it. An amazing coming of age story with a sinister twist. The foreshadowing with the magnet on the microwave. Genuis
Credit to the author because he is a master storyteller.
Also huge respect to the narration by Erik who always does a great job.
I love this show! Erik Peabody sounds like charlee sheen and it’s so bad ass!
Eww don’t insult him
He does! At least some of the time. I noticed, too.
Why would the little brother do that? When did he have the time to do that?
When he made his parants go to bed
After his parents went to bed. The small brown package that stuck to the toaster was the magnetic clasp from the dupe necklace he ordered and planted on the boyfriend. Brother seems to just be a sociopath. A meticulous planner too. I thought the comment he made about shedding his extra weight when he turned X years odd but now it fits with the personality. What I assumed was autism was actually sociopathy. Chilling.
Holy sh!t! Then he planted the fake necklace on him, when he started to choke the boyfriend.
@dostagirl9551 I've been called evil for not seeing the distinction as anything more than personality defects, good folks become Sheldon or Rain Man and baddies end up this kid. Awareness.
I enjoyed the story but the ending just didn't feel right to me. It's exceptionally rare for a sociopathic sexual deviant that rapes and murders his sister to have close friends.
He's also meant to be smart, if he was so smart he surely would have chosen a stranger as a huge amount of victims are attacked by someone they know. A solid 7/10.
DAAMMNN!! That was dark even for me! Hats off to the author and, as always, the narrator 🖤
This was a masterpiece coming of age horror story narrated to perfection. Ending was more shocking than I could’ve ever expected.
Peabody and Drew Blood are the best narrators from this channel along with Paul McSorely,they are the CTFDN trifecta of terror!!!
yup..gotta get rid of Otis Jiry
@@shawnpaulzuccarellorizzo Yeah,his narration isn’t too bad, but his intro and the fake laughing are trash!
Reminds me of Stand by me, even a fat kid
I always thought McSorely and Blood were the same person lol
This was an amazing story. I normally hate spoiling things, but there was too much brilliance in this to not comment. I’ll space out the spoilers from this section of writing just to be polite.
Wow. Just wow. Amazed at how this was laid out. The small brown package sticking to the toaster from earlier was the dupe necklace used to frame the boyfriend. I was wondering when that would come into play. The emotional awkwardness that I attributed to autism turning out to be sociopathy. I should have known from his social interactions and lack of sensory issues but just assumed since we are so much more aware of and naturally gravitate towards more acceptable forms of neurodivergence. The overly calculative mind revealed by his plans to lose weight when he turned a certain age as if his entire life is meticulously mapped out - that bit of internal monologue really stool out to me as creepy and unnatural - to mimic the normal and expected milestones of growing up because he is aware that he is not normal. Just brilliant! Someone asked why. Well, with little to no morality nor sentimentality to interfere with his desires, he simply took what he wanted. It was clear he thought his sister was the most beautiful girl out of all of the school peers, was entering that hormonal age (Playboy magazine admission), and wouldn’t be encumbered by social taboos such as incest. Truly chilling. The only flaw that I saw was the mantis classes. As a plot device, it was quite creative. But his ability to plant the necklace on the boyfriend as he did was dependent on a lot of factors that would not have been present had the body been discovered at any numerous other times. I can only imagine he planned on putting it in the boyfriend’s car or home instead and just took advantage of the situation. I know the mileage was brought up, but as someone who routinely walked two miles each way to elementary school every day, it doesn’t take nearly as long as you would think and the bat could have been planted ahead of time and his sister been convinced to take the wooded short cut.
Thank you guys for this awesome story!❤
Ayyyooo thats wild the brother played that shit. I can’t even be mad lol
Excellently written and read.
Although... Why was Derek trying to get rid of the necklace?
@@malovelaI guess he knew it would look bad, but I feel like there had to be better ways. Plus he didn’t have time to flush the toilet?! It takes less than a second.
@@GoodestKitty If that was why, he chose a very bad strategy. And yes, the time thing seems strange, too.
I love a good mystery and this was such a good mystery!! Amazingly written and amazingly told! Kinda have to say that emphasizing on the "package" that was delivered to Newt (Lucas) gave away more than was intended, but I still did enjoy it very much!
I wondered briefly about the package, but I didn't catch what it was. Story hooks ya in.😊 Oh, the exchanged necklace😲
Easy to see it was him. Attitude whole time.
Thank you for another great video love all you keep up the good work
Oohhhh..loved that ..and what a twist..
Great story - well-crafted/written, and narrated perfectly! I’ve read others’ comments and analyses and agree about the many “plot holes”. The timelines don’t add up and too many conveniently coincidental random events. One lingering question: why did the brother need to purchase a near-duplicate of the necklace when he could have planted the real thing on the boyfriend? Did he want to keep it as a trophy? Was the magnetic necklace easier to plant? Again, EXCELLENT story, but the narrative needs a lot of cleanup and revamping.
If they did a little research, especially on the justice system as it does not work that fast at all, the author would be on track to be a legend for sure. There was enough probable cause Derrick definitely would’ve gotten off the hook. And not even checking phone records? Where did their phones go? Plus why did his alibi not hold up, he’s at least eligible for an appeal lol
I think it is important to say, that I fully enjoyed and could not stop reading the Potter books. Infact I have not read another book since completing The the Potter series.... This story and narration, held my intrest as much as Harry Potter did. I was fully engaged, wondering where things headed, did not see the ending coming. I will have to listen to the last 30 minutes again. Just to be sure I caught all the plot points. To the Author, I would love a part 2 to the story. What happnes to newt. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Soooo true🤗
That was awful....I mean the nonsensical ending.
I thought it made perfect sense. I did a breakdown if you want to read my take.
@@dostagirl9551 Appreciate it, but no. Hearing it once was enough. Good story, bad ending.
@@shawnpaulzuccarellorizzoI could barely get through his personality, the first half was a drag for me.
Now THAT was a great story. Every aspect involved. My favorite type of Creepypasta. No haunted house, no wendigo...just pure, unadulterated human nature's evil side showing it's teeth. 😮
excellent storytelling and a good story until the twist ending. The story writer did not know the twist at the end until they wrote it because listen to the story again there is no way that the brother, the fat kid could have done it. the party was 5 Mi away the brother was at home at a time when his sister would have still been alive or just recently killed on top of that he could barely get across the river just carrying his own weight now you're going to tell me he carried his dead mutilated sister across the river. the ending is as flimsy as the magnetic clasp to the necklace which he received only that night the night of the murder I mean I guess that's where supposed to get out of the package that stuck to the refrigerator ? not to say I did not enjoy the story but the twist ending did make me go back and review the story a second time and there's no way the brother did it. please if anyone sees anything different that I missed that leaves it open for the ending please let me know.
😂 stuck to the bottom of the toaster, but yes I agree with you, I went back and listened again. Very flimsy ending, but I did enjoy it.
@@ferret495 thank you for replying and pointing out my error. I also really liked the story the ending just caught me off guard and it just didn't seem right
I agree with you, should have added something like the post he showed the parents was just a screenshot from earlier and maybe if her body had been closer to his backyard without needing so much physical exertion for the kid. Idk I liked the story though the ending was unexpected
Wow who knew that was coming
Really enjoyed this.
Thank you once again ❤
I think the ending was half assed
Whoop Whoop homies
Smokem if you got them
✌🏻🐵✌🏻
Ok everyone clam down i know it doesn't make sense but.,. It was awesome in every other way i can't wait to ctfdn are narrating my stories
nice nice niiiceee
The end didn't make sense, listened to it again but still nothing.... Great story otherwise
Wow
Man😮, that was a very good story. He was freakin' evil! His friend..bless heart 😢. Excellent characters, they made you feel for them all. Even have you say why Newt, why.😔
Wow goes to show you can't trust anyone
oh em eff gee
Well written and engaging, the ending was an overkill that made little sense, besides just throwing the reader off for shock value. It was going so well in character developing, the brother progressing to open up and to gain confidence.... Yeah it made no sense.
Wtf! How? Why?
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