How do I stop criticism in my relationship?

Questions of the Day
How does criticisms show up in your relationship? How do you spot it in yourself or your partner? Comment down below.
In this episode
In this second episode in our Better Relationship Communication Series, Tyler explains how toxic criticism is, how to spot criticism, and most importantly how to stop criticism.
You must understand the difference between content and emotion. Learn more in our first episode in these series. - • Why do I have communic...
4 types of content that are toxic. These four items make up the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse that was found in the research by Dr. John Gottamn.
How to spot criticism
Harsh complaining
Placing blame
Negative comments (statements)
There is no such thing as constructive criticism, especially in relationships.
The antidote to criticism for yourself
*Understand what are you feeling
*Figure out what you need
*Only complain about a specific behavior
The antidote to criticism for your partner
*Look past their criticism and ask yourself what are they feelin g
*Set Boundaries
*Ask what they need
Check out our next video in our Better Relationship Communication Series all about the 2nd horsemen, contempt.
Clips
:55 - Link to The Better Communication Series Playlist
1:05 - Review from las Video in Series
1:25 - What is criticism?
2:11 - Criticism is a harsh complaining
2:43 - Criticism is personality attacking the character of our partner
3:18 - Criticism is placing blame
4:00 - Criticism is negative comments (statements) you wish were true
6:17 - Antidote to criticism, understand what are you feeling
7:25 - Antidote to criticism, figure out what you need
8:04 - Antidote to criticism, only complain about a specific behavior
8:50 - Antidote to a critical partner, ask yourself what are they feeling
9:28 - Antidote to a critical partner, set boundaries
10:07 - Antidote to a critical partner, ask what they need
Resources
Better Relationship Communication Series - • Better Communication S...
Dr. John Gottman - 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work. Where the research can be found about the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse - amzn.to/3foAHDP
About Richer Life Counseling
Richer Life Counseling is a group psychotherapy practice located in Las Vegas, NV. Our therapist specializes in a number of mental health and relationship issues. Our channel is built to share knowledge about all things mental health. You can learn more about our group practice at www.RicherLifeCounseling.com
The Richer Marriage Show is a weekly show that is devoted to helping form strong relationships. Our goal is to teach the world about having strong relationships.
Tyler Rich is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Nevada.

[@richerlifecounseling]

Questions of the Day
How does criticisms show up in your relationship? How do you spot it in yourself or your partner? Comment down below.

[@coachian.m]

Hi Sir. Criticism can be a tone. More importantly, I believe criticism is sharing uncomfortable information about someone in an unhelpful manner.
For example: You are told, "Your breathe stinks." It is not shared to help you; it feels that way. It is shared pointing out a flaw without the intent of wanting you to be better for you. Add a brash or harsh tone that makes you feel taken back and I think that is critical.
You are right! I do feel attacked with words like "always" and "never". Hurts my soul in conflict.

[@warholcow]

I’d be interested in a video about what happens when the critical partner has asked for things nicely to be done, or for what they need, using these strategies and actively not being critical only to have their partner invalidate, not be consistent, or follow through after repeated attempts. It makes the more critical person feel really invalidated, unseen, and unheard, and all the “blame” is put on them. But how many times can they ask for help or support doing X or Z, and have their needs feel neglected before inevitably reverting back to criticism out of hurt and frustration?

[@skyeharmoning22]

Im not sure if it's criticism or not. I feel like he is criticizing me. He's always questioning EVERYTHING I DO. Why am I decorating the house the way I do? Why i watch the videos I do? Why do I take 2 showers in the day? Why am I washing my dishes the way I do? Why i wash laundry the way I do? Is that how I make egg salad?.....just a few examples. He questions everything about me. And he does it with a tone that gets me defensive. Kind of a mocking tone.

[@richerlifecounseling]

Thank you for sharing. That must be hard. Make sure you watch the video on how to stop being defensive. Ill try to do a video on boundaries and what to do if your spouse talks to you critically.

[@skyeharmoning22]

@@richerlifecounseling i will definitely watch it. Thank you!

[@beyondfitrd]

Skye, that is complete mind f**king behavior. It's a game to put you on the defensive; to make you question yourself! Your partner is playing a power game whereby putting you down he/she feels one-up. This is classic Narcissistic BS. If you're still with that partner, or even if you're not, check out this channel: czcams.com/users/SurvivingNarcissism. Good luck to you!

[@skyeharmoning22]

@@beyondfitrd thank you! That's definitely what it felt like. We are no longer together as of 3 months ago so right now just healing. And getting clarification of everything I was thinking and feeling. I will definitely still check out that channel. The more I know the better off I am.