The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory
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Jordan Harbinger is a former Wall Street lawyer who learned how to effectively network and build relationships to survive in a competitive industry. Years and millions of podcast episode downloads later, he now uses this skill to bring and interview guests on The Jordan Harbinger Show with the goal of giving listeners insight on how to become a better version of themselves. The man Forbes named 1 of the 50 best relationship experts anywhere explains why your network means more than names on a list on this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu.
SHOW NOTES:
Jordan tells how he ended up giving tours in North Korea and his attraction to the forbidden. [2:56]
Jordan details his early path into podcasting and it’s evolution into a business. [6:50]
Jordan explains how he overcame his shyness as a youth. [15:20]
Jordan describes a method for developing body language and esteem and the value of deliberate practice. [17:55]
Jordan talks about the art of learning and the value of having a coach. [23:48]
Jordan and Tom discuss the process of building relationships and common mistakes people make. [27:07]
Jordan touches on reinventing himself and his brand. [35:31]
Jordan breaks down the relationship between action and suffering. [45:00]
Jordan reveals the impact he wants to have on the world. [48:16]
QUOTES:
“A question I will always ask people who think that they're not good at something is how they know that they're not good at it. Usually, the answer has to do with the environment that they learn in or the set up their learning process and very rarely with their actual talent.” [23:55]
“Action ends suffering.” [46:32]
FOLLOW JORDAN HARBINGER:
WEBSITE - bit.ly/2IHuaqQ
TWITTER - bit.ly/2kgjxNe
FACEBOOK - bit.ly/2s5oz2M
LINKEDIN - bit.ly/2kiGpMd
INSTAGRAM - bit.ly/2GIscRi
PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Neil Strauss - bit.ly/2lCRABY [4:15]
PODCAST MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Jordan Harbinger Show - bit.ly/2GKmgr8 [2:17]
IMPACT THEORY MERCHANDISE: Check out Impact Theory's Merch Shop: bit.ly/ImpactTheoryShop
This was a really fun show. Thanks again for having me on and thanks to everyone watching for their attention. I hope to count many of you as fans of The Jordan Harbinger Show in the near future!
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW wow I remember listening to your show years ago. Your advice changed my life to help build me to who I am today. Super grateful. Going to relisten to your show all over again this week!
okay...you are a genius. I always notice these 'covert contracts' from people and but I didn't know what to call it, I did it sometimes too. You helped me alot, so thank you so much I hope other people watch this and learn too
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW I first caught wind of you on your previous show and have followed you over. Your content is amazing and having a podcast of both you and Tom is amazing. By far my two favorite podcasts!!!
Thanks Jordan! Great stuff. Dig the well before you're thirsty, Give without expectation of return, Don't keep score. Be a Value Arbitrator - help people who need each other find each other. Let me know if I can help your show in any way : D RP
Master Networker
Summary of Jordan Harbinger's rules for powerful friendships/relationships:
1. Dig the well before you are thirsty. (Start and nurture relationships before you need any type of help)
2. Give without expecting anything in return and without any attachment.
3. Do not keep score. (Don't think things like "I did this for you so now you owe me a favor.")
Bonus: 4. Do good things for others when you can. If someone did something nice for you try to help them if/when and however you can. Help others even if they haven't done anything for you, and do it without asking for anything in return.
I dig it!
Thanks
I know it is hard for most of us to not have attachment when we help others. We are just so used to thinking now we have something good coming in return or actually owed from that person. Instead good will come from our deeds but not exactly the way we think. Maybe another person from our network with help with something we need,
Mind shift!! I realising I’m often a taker and I take score a lot, I also have two people in my family that won’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them. Time to think about how I can help others more.
Thank you!!!!
"Every second you spend feeling sorry for yourself you're wasting your time" - @40:40
Truuuuuuuuth
nice one.
We sometimes should go through these emotions though and then CRUSH IT. hard to sometimes ignore it.
GREAT POINT, Siim!
You Sir are always come up with the best comments.
"Don't waste time making short term money when you have a long term goal!" I relate to this so much
BOOM ;)
How nice it is to watch an interview where the interviewer lets the guest speak without interrupting. Interesting and inspiring interviews, always!
Exactly, one of the things I can't stand of Gary Vee is that he can't stand other people being the center of attention. Tom is really cool
They say life is 50% what you know and 50% who you know. Make friends with the right kind of people!
indeed.
I am so grateful that I live in a time where there is awesome content like this available FOR FREE - sometimes I just can't believe how lucky I am.
True , I am staggered by the knowledge and I remember the days before the net. I believe there is more to come. Esp in the educational field. It's quite possible that alot of educational information seminars could be free online. Infact theoretically knowledge of this type should be freely available.
6:40
Networking is the name of the game
8:20
Just record
15:45
Quote
16:06
First impressions is without talking
20:30
Upgrade your weakness and practice your strengths
21:40
How do you know you are good at it?
Great question
23:55
Coaches are great.
Find it as early as you can.
24:40
Help others with no return.
And keep communications like that (Noah Kagan)
27:00
Start relationship before contacting them.
Ask to help people before attachment to getting something in return
30:10
Don't keep a score of helping
32:17
Summary of relationships
36:00
How to approach the person you interview
38:28
Have income
Of year or 6 months no matter what happens
39:30
Quote
Tom - you are exceptional at listening...I've learned so much from you just by watching you listen intently to people. Thank you!
-Luis
Thank you! Very kind.
Tom is the master of intros. I’m glad he’s shortened them to be even more exciting.
The art of brevity is truly impactful!!
One of the few people who actually break it down and show how they got to the top
"Anxiety is energy we don't know what to do with" 41:12 -- This is all needed to stop the negative thought pattern ann get back to work. Thank you Jordan. Thank you Tom.
I have watched just about every episode, some even twice,but have never left a comment... That needs to change, I want to get involved! Jordan was so real and authentic. He eloquently talked about the importance of human connection and I really needed to hear that. I loved how when you mentioned how he reached out to you earlier, he didn’t even remember, but it still held true to what he was preaching throughout the interview. It shows how he is living what he is saying, and it was a great example of how genuine connection with others is critical to long term success. I love it Tom! I plan on showing myself and my voice much more around here, thank you for giving me the opportunity and platform to do just that! Take care.
Thanks so much Ashley! You're so kind!
I hope to count you as a fan of The Jordan Harbinger Show someday as well!
💕
Action ends suffering because faith without works is dead. Incredible interview - thanks Impact team!
That doorway thing is like practicing daily positive affirmations, rewiring our mindset, which changes our actions etc, i luv it!
kind of, only it builds a real habit and isn't just positive affirmations (pseudoscience)
Yes, we also love Jordan Harbinger show also! Thanks so much for showing up here since we get best leads of who to listen to by listening to Tom Bilyeu’s impact theory!
Tom iis such an inspiration though, He is sick but he is up doing what he loves and giving it a 100 percent. Man, If you are not this passionate. You might need to check yourself. Loved this interview. From South Africa! x
Love the authenticity. Always a great interview if it's impact theory. Love Tom's depth of research, excavative questioning, and though he asks the best questions and can even better articulate someone's response than the they can at times, he remains translucent allowing the full completion of the response. Master of his craft! Jordan was awesome and genuine. It is much appreciated on this side of the screen. Thank you both!
Thanks Jesse! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
1. Dig the well before thirsty
2. Give without expectation or attachment of getting
3. Do not keep score
I think this is going to change my life. Thank you Jordan, and props to Tom for asking such a question @26:15
nice -great list. Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Hahaha yea man,
I stumbled upon you when you did an episode with Vanessa Van Edwards, and I immediately subscribed to your CZcams channel - Da Ding-Ding Cha ; )
I also downloaded Stitcher just so I could listen to your full show. So yeah... I'm a fan
And man, if you ever find yourself in Malaysia, hit me up... I'll show you around!
oh nice. Thanks!
I had never heard of Joran till just now. I had watched several of your shows before Tom so knew whoever he was, it would be good. Wow....It was Great! I listened so intently, it was like I was breathing in every word. What I mostly heard was a great deal of opportunity as the core of his success as in " it just so happened " several times. It gives me hope as I am preparing to move forward in my life. I have been at a job for 10 yrs and besides physically needing to leave, I need to expand my horizons for bigger and better things. It's opportunity I need to come to me a it has in the past to bring me to a place where it won't be so much work as it will be fun and passion. Thanks for interviewing this very dynamic individual.👍
Thanks Trisha! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
This made my brain sizzle watching and listening to the top two Heavy-Hitters of Interviewers!! Thank you both for sharing your time, experiences and knowledge with us!
Thanks Pam!
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW Absolutely!
Wow ! I love Jordan he's a really special human being. That was a the quickest 49 mins, it honestly felt like a five min chat. Good luck in all you do sir. Peace
thank you! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
These interviews... I've heard some of these people before on podcasts and I used to be a subscriber to The Art of Charm. Seeing these people on IT, I always end up opening a notepad on my computer and typing in takeaways to review later and important quotes from these shows. This channel is golden and Jordan was an awesome interview.
Thanks Jay! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I discovered Impact Theory after listening to Tom Bilyeu's interview on Jordan Harbinger's old podcast show, and I've been listening to Impact Theory ever since. So, it looks like things have come full circle!
Nashking20 darn I must have missed that one, might still be there though. I know that they have removed many episodes.
ha! That's great! I'm so glad we introduced you to Tom and now you're back watching me on I.T.!
Talk at 30 minutes, about passive aggression, really resonated hard with me.
Plenty of usfull advises, and Tom, you delivered again, in spite of you having trouble with your voice.
Btw, I'm from Serbia, and really thrilled he speaks my language! Veliki pozdrav ako citas ovo Jordane!
citam bre! ;) hvala puno
Hahah, to care! Nema na cemu, hvala tebi na intervjuu :)
You're so handsome.
Yet another FANTASTIC show Tom. Jordan is one of the most intelligent, funny and simply awesome guys you can learn from. His Jordan Harbinger Show is my go to podcast nowadays, along with Kevin Rose, Tim Ferriss and Peter Attia. Topics he covers are very wide, you can learn everything from dating apps to management techniques and he has a very, very unique style. Also, his Networking course is pure gold. Simple and effective, actionable advice you can incorporate immediately. Tom, thanks for bringing this guy on the show!
Thanks for the kind words!
That was worth all the 48.57 minutes spend here. Thank you.
America’s military industrial establish can learn frim Tom Bilyeu’s Impact Theory and Jordan Harbinger show in their generosity and fearless/not competitive creative and collaborative Spirit!
Tom Bilyeu offers such awesome interviews-great selections,- great questions, great responses, great lessons! Thank you so much for your fabulous contributions to the community!😁
I absolutely love these videos so much, they've impacted me in a way that makes a simple thank you not enough but thank you is what I can do. Have a great day Tom Bilyeu and Crew.
Thank you! That's very kind!
I am so glad you made this happen so people could follow examples and bring all of us closer
Great job Tom, finding your channel has been the best thing in my life. Totally life changing, thank-you!
Great interview, you two really resonate with me. I feel doing the homework is key and I am the same way. So much value can be uncovered when you don't just expose what they think, but also expand it to create new value. I'm all about quality and appreciate you and the people you interview. Thanks
Dude this was excellent advice and such a humble dude! Main takeaway - Ask people how you can help them, and expect nothing in return. I've noticed this lately as I've had friends ask me to help them with things I didn't even know I could help them with! Much love Jordan and thanks Tom for bringing such an awesome talk out into the universe!
you're welcome Bryan! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
OMG Tom Bilyeu, I am hooked on your interview content. The best thing I have ever discovered. Tremendous thanks!!
I love Jordan Harbinger! Every pore of my body and my “ear balls “ is soaking up the important information he shares!
Thank you 🙏😌
One of my faves. Love it guys and so grateful for this show. By far the most impressionable and helpful for my mindset and entire life!
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!
This sort of interview makes the world a better place, thanks guys. I'll take building a well before your thirsty and especially action leads to less suffering and run with it. Many thanks.
"Dig the well before you´re thirsty"
- in the case of relationships @27:30
- in the case of money @39:18
nice!
Extremely powerful advice on how one can build confidence and true relationship. Great episode as always!!
1. Dig the well before you are thirsty 2. Give without expecting anything in return 3. Do not keep scores. Thanks for the wise words, really helpful
It's not good to compare two great things, but hey tom i enjoy your impact theory more than ted talks because you go in deep.
Wow! I'll take that compliment! Thank you!
Tom Bilyeu Thank you for your precious reply tom 😆.
Impact Theory is def better than TED because of the interaction and the depth.
I agree with you Jordan and Automobile about the interaction. Ted is good for shorter overview but may not cover all points.
Perfect message for me today. I am just recently coming to appreciate how much coaching can be such a catalyst for rapid growth.
definitely!
Tom;u r a legend 🙌 even after not being well u r doing your work!!u inspire me to work harder!!
Thank you! Very kind!
Hey Tom , you are really a great interviewer no interruptions at all. You have done the research in advance . That’s how impact theory has become a great show. Lucky I have subscribed you long time ago. Hope to have more interesting and eye opening shows like this in the future. Thanks
All i can say is awesome!
Thanks Tom.
I love this vídeos. I haven't watched mainstream media in years. Don't even trust it anymore, but Tom is awesome
So excited to see him on here! His personality and passion pours out in all that he has done. Look forward to finding those lego pieces💪🏾🌼
Thank you so much...
My father always tells us to be focus on human investment than money... So happy to hear people like u too validate and upgrade one of my guide line in life.
Thank you so much
The advice he gave on reaching out to others, givng without expecting anything in return, is key.
I love Impact Theory and I listen everyday at least 1 podcast or CZcams video but i never thought there would be a talk about my country Turkmenistan! Thank you for this!
THIS IS GREAT STUFF! Tom, you are changing lives. Thank you.
Thank you! So glad the content adds value!
Wow, i feel so inspired after watching this interview! Thank you, Tom, for bringing Jordan on the show! Both of you guys are so amazing, i can't tell you how thankful i am to know of you.
You got it Sohee! You a fan of The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
No, I unfortunately haven't been a fan yet because I wasn't aware of your existence. Soon to be a fan though!
Both of you are sooo awesome!!! Thank you so much!!!❤
Bro your interviews are so powerful! Thank you for your work!!
This is one of the best channels in YT 💓
I absolutely love this one! Congratulations for another golden episode! I relate so much. It feels so empowering to see what he became. To see that he overcame his painful shyness that I often battle with. To see he learned multiple languages like I aspire to learn. To beat that scorecard. 100% gold, thank you!
So glad you liked it!
Thanks D! Hope to see you at The Jordan Harbinger Show soon as well! Happy to help!
Wow, thank you for this, a lot of helpful info!
DIG THE WELL BEFORE YOU'RE THIRSTY! Now I have phrase for the things I've experienced the last few years. Another great reason: DO IT JUST BECAUSE BRINGING OTHERS JOY BRINGS YOU JOY! Being resentful is a result of premeditated expectations caused by covert contracts!! Thanks so much, Tom & Jordan!
you're welcome! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
someone (a user or a guest) once noted that Tom has the BEST INTROs for all of his guests. so well written & presented. Tom, you're doing such a great job.
that was me actually...on this full episode.
what do you mean? anyway, I love how you come back and check the comments. Jesus, can this get any better? 🙌🙌🙌
This channel deserves way more than 1 million subscribers. Just subbed, great content.
Yep, that's it! I'll have two regulars now. I can already tell that The Jordan Harbinger show will be one of my things. :)
You, Jordan Harbinger, sir, you are definitely someone I want to learn from. A truly great episode this was. Definitely one of my favorites here at Impact Theory!
Cheers!
Thanks Matiss!
Thank you for another great episode Tom.
I guess you are leading by example doing the show while having a cold.
Wish you a speedy recovery.
Thank you! All better now.
Second time to watch this, one year about & wow! Great downloads this time
I've never been so engaged in my life with just listening to someone talk. He makes Jim Rohn looks normal. He kept my attention although he has the same tone with the same soft pitch. This dude uses simple analogies and examples which anyone could understand and learn from. You truly have earned my attention Jordon Harbinger
hey thank you! this is so kind of you to say. Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I am going through hard circumstances myself right now and this is so, so inspiring. Thank you! :)
Loved the interview; as always you and your guests bring enormous value to the lives of viewers around the world.
Thank you both. Specially for giving it your best despite that awful cold, Tom.
Jordan made it easy for me! He's amazing!
You're welcome and thanks for listening Jessica! Hope you get a chance to catch The Jordan Harbinger Show as well.
too kind :)
Every time I listen, I think, "This one is my favorite!" THIS ONE GOES DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE !
Thanks Jane!
I will be listening. Thank you for sharing this one.
This is great! thank you both so much!
I enjoyed listening to this as a podcast so much. It's one of my favorite Impact Theory episodes. Thanks Tom and Jordan for the great interview!
You're so welcome! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW sure, I do! I used to listen to Art of Charm and now I moved to the new Jordan Harbinger show. Great stuff as always. Keep up the good work!
I took copious notes which is a rarity for me. That abundance mindset shines through.Jordan, I want more !
glad to hear it! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Don't skip a bit! wow, this guy is so good!!! Thank you Tom!
thanks Dona! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
This was one of my favourite shows!!! Thanks so much for this interview ❤️
glad you dig it! Lmk what you think of The Jordan Harbinger Show if you get a chance to listen there as well.
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW I will watch it later and let you know.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻thank you for this interview! It was mind blowing
Thanx Tom for having Jordan! Great interview and super informative. Love "Give without no expectations". Its always better to give than receive. Honest connections work best.
Thanks V! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
So exciting to get a reply from you! thank you! Well, I didnt know about you before. Just now through Tom's show. So I went directly to your website and now listening to a podcast Deep Dive 22 via PlayerFM hahah ;) subscribed through my iphone podcast app to keep learning on the go. By the way, I really like your recommendations on books on your website. Always looking for great reads. So glad I found you! Keep up the good work!
welcome to the show!
Woow that was really a nice interview, thanks guys , I learn a new thing from each episode.
Keep going
frm Somalia
" *Every second you spend feeling sorry for yourself is a total waste of time.* "
" *Put your pants back on and get back to work* "
" *The one thing that made me feel better, was getting back to work* "
Possibly the most important words in your life ever.
A good reminder on the power of networking. Took notes on this one for sure! Boosh!
"Action ends suffering" @43:57 Love it!!!
I think I really needed to hear this today Thank you guys!
This IT'S absolutely crucial to hear!! --- "Action Ends Suffering"
Yes!
So good! Thank you for this!!!
Amazing! The Covert Contracts. I realize I've done that a lot in the past. Going to keep my awareness open to it! Thanks Tom and Jordan!
He is so REAL & HELPFUL!!!
Thank u !!!
thank you! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Very openly spoken. Thanks a lot.
LOVE how authentic Jordon Harbinger is. Grateful for this episode.
Thanks Mandy! Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show?
I subscribed to your channel once I found you here. Will do!!!
welcome!
This interview is everything I needed .. Great content !
thank you! More from me at The Jordan Harbinger Show if you're picking up what I'm putting down :)
Thank you both Tom and Jordan. The best part is your vulnerability on your part Jordan . Thank you so much for all your great content . Well appreciated when I was wanting to wallow in self pity 😊. I will now take ACTION. Much love
Thanks! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
I needed this today! Thank you Tom and Jordan!
You got it Ivy!
Amazing guest, thank you Tom ❤
Exceptional conversation.
This is the best show on The CZcams Sphere hands down 🔥 🔥 🔥
I love this episode... I keep rewatching and always coming out with something new! Thank you both.
glad to hear it! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
This is so awesome, I totally identified with the growing into the confidence as people start treating you differently. I definitely had shaky self-esteem and as I started to get more positive feedback on TikTok, it's like I have grown into that confidence and it's mine now. There's definitely something about the sheer scale and volume of feedback that changes a person.
When he talks about feeling the imposter syndrome, boom, I've felt like that. It's honestly been only the last couple of months I feel more sure of me. Just how he describes it, it's not a fake veneer, it's like you finally believe in yourself. Not second guessing myself all the time, not looking at everyone else and wondering, how are they so sure of themselves? How do they KNOW?
I was watching The Last Dance on Netflix and it struck me that the basketball players didn't deflect compliments or use the crying/grateful emoji every time someone showed them appreciation. They were themselves. And just got on with things.
And this caused me to ask myself, why am I behaving like I'm so unworthy and so surprised to receive any crumb of appreciation, positive feedback. Like I have to get on my hands and knees and say thank you over and over again. It was an aha moment.
Awesome interview, thanks so much. So freaking grateful that we live in a time where we can access info like this! Yay!
thanks for watching! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
@@JordanHarbingerShow I do!
Tom, I am relatively new to your channel, but i have to say that I can relate to this video tremendously...thank you so much for sharing!
you're welcome! Glad you dig it!
Amazing interview has always. Jordan is really inspiring and a fantastic guess. Thank you for helping me discover amazing people like him. Keep up doing great work Tom!
Thanks Seb! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I've actually subscribed on Google Play to your show right after watching this interview with Tom. I've listened to the first three episodes so far and I really enjoy it. Keep up the great work !
This is one of the best talks I've listened too!! Good job guys!
Thanks! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
Awesome show, guys - thanks. All the way from South Africa! Yep...the penny dropped for sure - provide [Massive] Value first with zero expectations.
Indeed!
YES!