Is it BETTER to be a KID in Germany vs. the USA? 😱 Parenting Here Has Surprised Us! 🇩🇪
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2024
- As parents to 4 children, we weren't sure what to expect when it came to living in Germany as a big family. Germans have fewer children per family than Americans do. Suffice it to say, we have been quite surprised and delighted by how friendly Germany is to families and children. And the reasons we mention might really surprise you, too! Come back next week for part two, where we share how it's cheaper to raise children in Germany also!
#lifeingermany #germanculture #kindergeld #germanylifestyle #americansingermany #cultureshock #germany #deutschland
WATCH THE SECOND HALF OF THIS VIDEO HERE - • Germany Helps Parents ...
📖 See the blog post that goes with this video here - mymerrymessygermanlife.com/pa...
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🇩🇪 Life in Germany blog posts and videos here - mymerrymessygermanlife.com
//PLAYLISTS/
🇩🇪 Life in Germany - • Life in Germany
🇩🇪 Raising Children in Germany - • Raising Children in Ge...
🇩🇪 Traveling with Kids - • Traveling with Kids
🇩🇪 Germany is Beautiful - Relaxing Nature Videos of Germany - • How Germans & Scandina...
🇩🇪 Christmas is Magical in Germany - • First Time Trying Germ...
//SOURCES//
www.fruehe-chancen.de/ausbau/...
www.theatlantic.com/business/...
www.make-it-in-germany.com/en...
www.theguardian.com/world/201...
worldpopulationreview.com/cou...)
worldpopulationreview.com/cou...
handbookgermany.de/en/live/pa...
www.dw.com/en/german-day-care...
edition.cnn.com/2018/04/25/he...
www.nytimes.com/2021/10/06/up...
www.reuters.com/article/us-he...
endcorporalpunishment.org/cou...
www.nytimes.com/2018/12/13/us...
//JUMP TO YOUR FAVORITE PART//
0:00 - Intro and spring flowers in our garden!
03:08 - #1 - Germany Guarantees that Parents Can Have This...
11:01 - #2 - Children Have this Protected Right by Law in Germany...
13:37 - #3 - Families Get a $$ Each Month...How much?
14:42 - #4 - Families Get Cheaper Prices at these Places in Germany...
17:31 - #5 - Children Can get Themselves Around Town
18:51 - #6 - Strong Sense of Community in Germany
22:43 - #7 - Yet another protected right by law in Germany for kids!
25:33 - #8 - Kids don't have school shooting drills here...
27:49 - #9 - This thing that hurts kids is illegal in Germany but allowed in the USA...
37:29 - #10 - BLOOPERS!
//ABOUT US//
We are a family of six, with four kids and a cat 😹, who moved from the USA to Germany in February of 2021 to pursue our dreams of adventure, travel, learning another language, and integrating into German life. We hope you enjoy our videos about our journey to integrate - the highs and the lows of being foreigners on the adventure of a lifetime.
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Very interesting list of how Germany is child friendly. We Germans don’t even see anymore and take for granted. 🤯
Yeah Germany has a lot of benefits for families that the USA doesn’t offer!
@karin Land
Wie immer, unser deutsches Leben wird so oft für selbstverständlich und als normal angesehen. Dabei ist das Leben in Deutschland einfach wahnsinnig privilegiert und luxuriös.
Montags gegen Maske demonstrieren und dann abends auf der Couch liegen und TV schauen, mit einem vollen Kühlschrank in der Küche und warmen Wasser in der Dusche. Das ist nicht normal, das ist Luxus. Im Krankheitsfall medizinisch versorgt zu werden, Luxus. Arbeitslos werden und dafür geld bekommen, Luxus.
Daher gehen mir die ganzen schreihälse und Menschen, die immer über dieses Land abhaten, einfach nur auf den Sack.
Mehr Demut und Wertschätzung für das, was wir in diesem Land überhaupt alles haben und als normal betrachten.
Und dann gibt es echt welche die ein Tempolimit auf der Autobahn als Einschränkung der persönlichen Freiheit sehen. Wir leben wie die Made im Speck.
@@nachnamevorname_the_original ja, da hast du recht.
Ich war erstaunt zB über „Es gibt Familentickets.“ und „Der Arzt spricht direkt mit dem Kind.“ das hätte ich in so einer Liste nicht erwartet.
And thats a good thing.
I dont think its a problem thst we only tent to see the negative aspects and there are some. Only if we dont stop pointing out whats wrong and actualy try to improve the syrhem even more there can be and even better future.
If we just sit down and apreciate the good we might as well change our name to usa 2.0
I'm from Austria and it's also considered really important to learn about "stranger danger". We all were told "Never get into a stranger's car" and "Never take sweets from a stranger". But nobody ever told me not to talk to strangers, e.g. adults often asked me for directions - if you are out alone as a child, you probably live in the area and know your way around...
For teenagers, another "stranger danger"-rule is added. "Never take a drink from a stranger". Crime rates in Austria are the same as in Germany (or even slightly lower), but people still follow some rules to be really safe.
To incence the lively debate even more: I really do not understand how U.S. American politicians argue that it is the states' right to make a woman carry an unwanted pregnancy, and at the same time argue that the state has no responsibility in supporting families. Either you are in or you are out - rights and responsibilities go hand in hand, even for states and federal governments. The hypocracy makes me afraid for your democracy.
Couldn’t agree more with all that you have said. They are pro birth, not pro life. 😔
It is hypocracy. But you have to see it as two different things. The first is the conservative culture war issue, they adapted after couldnt do their racism openly anymore after the civil rights movement. So its the issue, that gets them the votes and therefore the power.
On the other hand, any social issue including surporting families and kids would cost money. And since they are legally bribed by companies (because the Surpreme Court considers money as free speach) to keep the taxes as low as possible and keep down any workers rights.
So one is used to gain the power, the other is used to get rich while in power.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Yes and against Woman. The US needs human supplies for the military and cheap labor - so sad. These people make me angry. There is already a bounty on people's heads in Texas for helping an abortionist!!!! 😨The USA is so backwards in parts and the Democrats do nothing about it because they might lose voters and sponsors. For example, the states could not be admitted to the EU because they do not meet the requirements.
@@scottevil4531 the explanation of the origin makes sense. But how they get away with outcome of these contradictory arguments is puzzling. Why would people vote against their own self-interest?... But then again, we have some of the same problems, just not as obvious
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife there is quite an amount of hypocrisy involved, yes.
This. All of this.
I’m a single mother living in the states and I can’t even begin to describe how ridiculous it is to raise a child here. When I first had my daughter, I needed to work, and attempted to get a job at a child care center so my daughter could go there and I could make enough money to pay my bills. Well, it cost so much to send my daughter there that even with the “employee discount”, it would have taken my entire paycheck + I would need more to finish paying the costs, but unfortunately working in the field that I was educated didn’t pay enough to pay the exorbitant amount of childcare costs outright. Fortunately, I’m a veteran and used the GI bill to go back to school while I stayed at home with my child. However, child care costs are crazy and the reason so many people are unable to work. And then health care costs. Yikes.
But the worst part for me isn’t even the cost of raising a child here - or places not allowing children to come (like doctor’s appointments) when you have no child care for them, but how scary it is to raise a child here. I mean, you have to fear sending them to school, going grocery shopping, riding public transportation, etc. in the event someone brings a gun. Then you also have to fear letting them play outside without you being a hawk over them in the event someone would take your child. Or turning your back for a second in a store. I mean - you even have to fear accidentally leaving your door unlocked because someone could come into your home and take your child.
Luckily, I’m starting the process to move to Germany. I cannot wait to raise my child in a country that allows me to breathe.
Great video (as always)! I’m looking forward to your next one.
Oh wow, you could’ve done this video yourself and it would go viral! I’d love to connect with you on Instagram - perhaps I could interview you once your here in Germany and then you can share the differences. I’m so happy for you that you’re able to move to Germany - is it with the military?
One question: is the danger of being kidnapped as a child really so high in the States or is it more a feeling of insecurity?
@@nebelland8355 one child, every 40 seconds, goes missing or is abducted in the United States and while many of these may be resolved within hours, a lot of them will be permanent. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve about had a heart attack when an Amber alert goes off on my phone. Let me tell you, it’s more times than I should that’s for sure.
I may be more paranoid than others when it comes to child abduction, but that may stem from a situation that happened when I was younger and a stranger asked me if I’d like to walk to the store with her. Luckily our living room window was open and my father overheard someone talking to my sister and I and came outside at the perfect moment. But I’m also not naive enough to think it could never happen.
@@nebelland8355 it's not even just kidnapping they have to fear of they let their kids out on their own. Someone can and will call CPS or child protective services on parents for neglect and other nonsense over this.
Imagine if that happened in Germany, half of my cities parents would just lose their kids pretty much because they even go on public transport on their own as young as 7 years old to get to school or to a playground.
If Aleman is your surname, you sure fit in =D
As a German raising our family in the US I have to agree with you, too. Everything is sooo expensive here. There is no walkability past our block. We are lucky our kids are able to walk to a close by park on their own without having to cross a major road. (Thanks to Utah embracing "free ranged" kids) We still feel liberated each time we visit family in Germany.
what just happened in Texas shows that one of the most important things is that children can go to school without fear. in schools without closed doors, without metal detectors and without armed security guards. this is probably one of the most child-friendly. then comes the parents without fear of being able to go to cinemas or supermarkets without fear with their children.
We so agree!
Tell that to the victims of the german death camps. If only every "undesirables " had been armed to the teeth when the german police came to round them up for a train ride of death.
Germans welcomed many with promises of a nice hot shower, only to find Zyklon B pouring into the shower.
@@dave8599 now no idea what crimes that happened 80 years ago in Europe (Germany) has to do with the weapon weakness of today's USA. but while we're at it, how many Indians have been slaughtered under the US? how many slaves did the US have and how many of them were killed? vietnam with 2 million dead Vietnamese were also not exactly a glorious leaf and hiroshima and nagasaki ? or the preventive war of junior bush in Iraq, where the USA had lied to the entire UN, etc., etc., so first sweep away the dirt in front of your own house door.
About three years ago I experienced the following in a German drugstore, which I, as a mother, also very much welcome. I stood in line at the cash register. In front of me was a child holding a larger toy. When it was the child's turn, the clerk said she couldn't sell him the toy. The boy naturally wanted to know why he couldn't buy it. The saleswoman explained to him in a friendly tone that children up to the age of twelve can only buy goods that do not exceed the value of twenty euros. They are therefore only allowed to buy small things that they can safely pay for with their pocket money. The saleswoman went on to say that if he wanted the toy he had chosen, she could put it away for him to buy with his mother or father.
Beschränkte Geschäftsfähigkeit nennt sich das.
Ist definitiv eine gute Idee für die Läden sowas im Blick zu halten denn die Eltern können bei Kindern ohne Wenn und Aber die Ware einfach zurück geben wenn sie nicht dem Kauf zugestimmt haben.
Bei 14 bis 17 jährigen gibt es da auch noch ein paar Regeln die dürfen aber schon etwas mehr kaufen.
I myself have no children, but a girlfriend of mine has three. She got divorced when the kids were 5 to 10. When her two boys were teens they became very difficult. One was often very aggressive and the other used to drive trunken moped which sometimes ended at a police station. My girlfriend never punished them but always talked and discussed with them - often for hours. Today both “bad boys” are themselves in their thirties, one is studied IT-expert and the other made carreer in a hotel. And both have a good relationsship with her mother! I was always impressed how she handled the problems with the kids. When her younger son failed at the gymnasium she was not disappointed but recognized that he is more a “practical” kind of person. And as a shift leader in a hotel he is very admired and respected by guests and collegues.
What a great success story. I’m so glad it Worked out well for your girlfriend and her kids.
As an American living in Germany and raising my little one here I 💯 agree with all of your points. Definitely doesn’t make me want to move back to the US anytime soon. I much prefer our quality of life as a family here in Germany and excited for my daughter to experience a place that treats children with much more care and respect.
It's very validating to hear that another American mom agrees with us! Once you've lived in both countries, your eyes are really opened to how Germany has progressed beyond the USA. It's so interesting how the USA was such a beacon of light to the rest of the world in democracy for so long. And then things really started shifting after WWII.
If you wanna know why Germany and other countries in Europe have developed to the countries they are now, you should watch this video (36 min): "How Denmark invented Social Democracy".
It is NOT a commercial for Denmark. The video is made by a German guy, and he explains how it all started. The video is based on political science, and it's brilliant.
Even though Kevin have lived in Sweden, I will bet a Dunkel, he doesn't know why Sweden is as it is. But he can find out by watching the video. Even Germans will learn why their country developed to the great country it is now.
Very educational.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sorry, but the USA was never ever a beacon of democracy and freedom in the world. Race segregation till the sixties! McCarthy era, wage slavery at the coal mines till the 50ies! andandand.
That is just for the record.
Sorry for the interruption but....
I will never forget the day when spanking got illegal in Austria. It was an incredible and uplifting feeling that your government shares and even supports your opinion as a child that it is not ok to hurt a kid.
Yes! And while there will still be families who spank their children even after it became illegal, the cultural tone that law sets is strong and very important in changing the mindset and culture long-term.
I am from germany and my father did occasionally (rarely) spank me when I did something really stupid like beating other children or my sister, but never much only 2 or 3 hits on the bum and I think this is ok. I personally am no parent yet, but I am a teacher and I would never hit a student, even if I was allowed to and I think I could not hit my child, if I had one.
Once again I'm so freaking happy to be born and grown up in Germany.
It’s a great country!
But in what way does this contribute to the discussion on the situation of children in the U.S.? At some point we will have to accept that countries handle things differently, and that opinions about it will differ as well. If the German way was universally accepted, every society would choose to implement it. That is obviously not happening.
@@TheHC97 looking at other places for raising children might slowly change things in the USA. I’m pretty sure, you couldn’t just copy the way Germany does it, but maybe implement some the things adapted to the culture in the USA.
I know, that some prisons in the USA changed, after the responsible people visited prisons in Germany and somewhere in Scandinavia (I forgot the country). They didn’t change everything at once, just implemented some things and things were getting better for everyone involved.
@@jennyh4025 I do agree. But I also believe that this should always go both ways, because not everything is either entirely good or entirely bad in one country or the other.
The main reason why the birth rate in Germany has been too low for years is the poor compatibility of work and family. Politicians are trying to counteract this and have gradually created the parent-friendly laws we know today.
When i was young my father didn't take parental leave (i don't know if it was available in the late 1990s) but we went on a father-son cure vacation to Amrum (island in the north sea) when i was 4. They are paid by your german health insurance and available for mothers too of course. I still remember this today and it was an awesome experience. Beeing on vacation for 3 weeks with only your dad (and other parents with their children) formed a really big bond between us.
I can highly recommend.
It was an option, that father's could have taken parental leave. My father took it in 1998. But it was a rare occasion.
Awe I love this! It sounds like you have an awesome dad.
Our children are your age, yes, after maternity leave the father could have taken parental leave (instead of the mother), but in many professions overtime was still paid at the time, and the father often simply had more income as a result. Even if the income was otherwise almost the same. The child-raising allowance at that time was a maximum of 600 DM/approx. 306 euros The new regulation requires fathers to share parental leave with the mother, since a) the amounts are higher and b) if both take parental leave a few months longer is paid.
When our children were small, only 2 men from our circle of parents and acquaintances at the time (baby care course; toddler group; family members) took parental leave.
"Young" fathers take parental leave without worrying, even if they hold managerial positions.
And thanks to "home office", some fathers tend to stay at home when their wives and children are sick.
** the fact that your father went to the rehab with you could also simply have been because you had health insurance with him and your mother had another insurance, which would have made the application processing and billing more complicated.
@@Laurin-nm8yx yeah my father took it in 1995.
My dad went to one of those with my older brother. My brother had meningitis when he was 3 years old and that left him having to relearn pretty much anything.
They offered to either let our mom or our dad go with my older brother. This was in 1990 so this really has been a thing for ages now.
"Where we lived, our neighborhood was pretty safe. [...] There were some shootings in the town we lived in"
This is a sentence that does not make any sence to me as a german. Having shootings in the town is something I would concider very unsafe. So bizzar to hear this both sentences describing the same place.
I thought the same thing 😂 WHAT you call that safe
That's the US for you! I live in a safe neighborhood, but we have pretty frequent shootings in several areas of town 20 minutes away.
Last year I was in Bregenz at the opera festival. Sitting in a nice cafe next to the waterfront we could hear our American neighbors talking. They were talking housing prices in the San Francisco area. One of them talked about the housing prices in a specific area being pretty decent. No more than 1,5 to two million. And pretty safe. Just the occasional drive by shooting. 😮 the other one agreed that this was decent. We were just laughing so hard because they were serious- in no way this would ever be acceptable here!
Fun fact about your last topic of spanking children. The initiative comes from the famous childrens author Astrid Lindgren. When receiving the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, on 22 October 1978, Astrid Lindgren made a speech about non-violent upbringing. In 1979, due to Astrid Lindgren's speech, a law was introduced in Sweden prohibiting violence against children. I had her speech as a poster for years over my desk. There is a great article on wikipedia "Never Violence!"
Oh cool! Thanks for sharing this with us. Maybe Kevin knows about this, I’ll show it to him.
And has this had the desired effect? The last time I checked nothing much had changed, in fact I think there is more youth-related crime and violence than before the ban was introduced.
@@TukikoTroy you think? maybe check the facts again. Its for sure not due to lacks of spankings lol
@@moelleunbelievable Okay, just checked again and The figures for youth related crime are still pretty much the same as pre-ban. resourcecentre.savethechildren.net/pdf/4616.pdf/ That said, reducing youth crime was never one of the stated aims of the ban. Which is odd, because it is often quoted as being so by many anti-spanking groups who use Sweden as an example of the benefits of such a ban.
I was born in 1952 and raised with the pedagogic slaps and kicks of the time (delivered by parents, neighbours, teachers, police). Same as all the kids around me. No big deal really. There might have been some real abuse, but that is still going on now, as we all know.
But when I look at the result of the new, extremely non-violent raising of the kids since, I wonder if the little narcists, the princes and princesses, will do any better in society, by looking at it through their handscreens.
When I was a new parent, I had misjudged how much milk and water to take with me, and our little one was crying very loudly (thirsty, tired) in the tram on our way home. Some 40-something man shouted at us: "can't you keep that (blasted) kid quiet?" when an older woman shouted at him saying: "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" She got a round of applause.
Our 4 yr old daughter had been taunted by a little boy at a sandbox (unbeknown to me) when another lady who had witnessed this, went up to the boy and said to him sternly: "one doesn't throw sand!, be nice to the other children here or I will call your mom" The boy ran crying to his mother and I heard her say: "I told you to be nice, now you have the other parents angry at you," and she brought boy over to our daughter and made him apologize.
Yes, it takes a village to raise a child.
Those are great examples of how it takes a village to raise a child! I love what that older woman said to the main - "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" Such a perfect comeback!!
Even though we do not have kids, I also have to say your videos makes me appreciate much more of what we have here. The "children in my live" have been my nephews, now 15 and 18 years old, and I would definitely say they had a happy childhood. My SIL is even a headmistress at a Gymnasium, so I have been in kind of close contact with that system, and I would definitely say that my nephews are very independent from an early age on. I would agree that walkability of a city is really important, not only for children, but also for elderly people and people who might not be able to use cars. They are excluded from so many parts of social live if a city is not walkable. Thanks a lot for your videos!
I honestly started crying at the end when you were talking about spanking kids. Because it's a tragedy that this still happens and is widely accepted by society in so many countries but also because of how empathic and well educated you two are in terms of brain development, child behavior etc. The respectful and loving way you treat your kids is one of the main reasons why I watch your channel. It's a corrective experience for me to see but also very difficult emotionally because I realize how things should have been instead of the horrific abuse I had to survive at home and in various other places when I was a kid. I'm sure Germany is more aware of children's needs than the US but there's still so much to do here in terms of the family system being valued and protected more than the well-being of the child. As long as children don't get hurt overtly no one cares. The parents almost always get the benefit of the doubt which I don't understand when there's clear evidence for trauma in the child's behavior, thinking and feeling.
I am so very sorry you experienced trauma as a child. It’s not right nor is it fair. ❤️ Yeah talking abou spanking makes my stomach hurt also - knowing so many children still live with that fear, despite the resounding evidence that it’s harmful.
When the Child Tax Credit was expanded and paid out it reduced child poverty in the US by 30%...for a while. The child poverty rate in the U.S. is nearly double that of Germany. And you are so right, the people who need it most get it the least.
Wow, we didn't even include that in the video - child poverty rate is nearly double that of Germany.
My mom always told us, that when she was in the U.S. as an AuPair in 1961 !!, in a family with four Kids, spanking was absolutely taboo. Her own experience was quite different. She learned from her hosts: „Beating a Child causes broken glas, on which you will get your fingers cut, later on, when you have to pick it up“. We grow up that way. Never got beaten. Neither our own kids. And quite sure not our granddaughter. So we learned it from an family of Saddle River, NJ. Isn‘t it amazing, how 4 generations are influenced by just one international exchange? Herzlichen Dank für Eure tollen und interessanten Videos. LG
Your Videos are awsome. Thank you so much for sharing your expirience.
Thank you! 💕
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife your Welcome. Enjoy your Sunday 😀 greetings from Hannover
Danke für das wirklich sehr interessante Video! Als Deutscher nimmt man so vieles als selbstverständlich … und es tut gut, zu hören, dass es das nicht ist. Ich bin dankbar, hier zu leben. Unabhängig davon, dass ich einige der Vorteile, die junge Eltern heute haben, noch nicht hatte, als meine Tochter geboren wurde. Und natürlich bin ich sehr gespannt auf euer nächstes Video.
I was yelled a "communist" by an Idahoan simply for appreciating the GER family care system.... Once you've received the silver plate for 100k subs, please make sure to repost this video (amongst many others). I sure hope you're having lots of viewers in the US......
Aawwww, that's awful! ....And shocking too that he would so readily identify what, ultimately, you guys are advocating. Maybe he values his "life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and property" and doesn't want to be FORCED to pay for YOUR "family care"!!! ....Go figure!
Don't you worry. Someday, they will make such outbursts a crime -- you know, "misinformation" (as deemed by a government commission dedicated to proper thought).
So, what do you want to call it: a system where THE STATE (even if by majority vote -- most mob lynchings are done by popular demand as well, you know; three cheers for "democracy"!) LEVELS a GUN at your neighbor's head -- you know that guy in that other ZIP code whom you've deemed "privileged" (by race, even 04:45 ) and identified as someone who has "too much" or "more than enough" -- and takes from him a sizeable portion of his earnings or estate, and gives it out to others in the community on the basis of "need" (or even on the basis of historical grievance by people of the recipient's ethnic/racial stock)?
Who was it who put forward the slogan (as moral justification for a particular state-backed economic system called, what, again?), "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!" ....(AND, that this was to be accomplished by state coercion!)
Was that Jesus? Maybe it was Plato? ....Some guy named "Karl"? ....Groucho Marx's older and more hirsute brother? (Okay, I don't know about that last part.)
Yeah, that Karl guy had NOTHING to do with "communism"!!! (Would you prefer to call it by its other name, "socialism"?)
Is the fact that it is developed over decades via democratic vote (in the Federal Republic of Germany or the United States) something which makes it FUNDAMENTALLY different as an end result? ("Social Democracy", I think it's called.)
It seems the Idahoan understood the FUNDAMENTAL POINT of the system that you are "appreciating" ("admiring"). He's thinking, "how can I draw a line and declare, 'No, this is MINE! I developed my own talents and worked hard and I'm keeping THIS!!'."
Tell him how you would draw this line and declare, "That's enough! We'll just take THAT much!" ....Because we haven't met a democratic socialist (or any kind of socialist) who has managed to elaborate a LIMIT to this "rob Paul to pay Peter" stuff. ...After all, the RECIPIENTS of this entitled largess can vote also! People can vote THEMSELVES money out of the public treasury!!
Thank you so much for this video. I spent one year as exchange Student in the US (Utah) and after your video I finally Unterstand some parental things of my foster parents so much better. Thank you for all the videos you share. You Open the eyes of so many. Thank you♥️
Oh that’s so interesting! I’d love to hear which things your foster parents did that are now more clear to you.
Oh yes! My daughter has been in Alaska for a year and she felt too much regulated. And that car thing. Always had to ask someone to take her sonewhere. Never were allowed to walk alone.
But: she was very happy with the school! She missed the nice, young teachers and classes she could take (pottery, photography...), the high standard of gymnastics, the choir; when she were back. These are all issues in Germany: too less, too old teachers, arts and sport shortened.
And she missed the landscape, of course.
I have read several articles now, why the birthrates in the U.S. have gone down in the past several years, and more young people don't necessarily see it as an enhancement to their lives anymore. The number one reason given, was the cost of raising a child because of all the reasons you touched upon in this video. I've seen young mothers cry because they've had to leave their babies and go back to work, because their family needed the money. I've seen mothers cry because they've not properly recuperated from child birth, because 2 weeks off work without pay, was all their family could afford. My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed. In most cases, 2 incomes are needed now for a family to make it through all their basic financial obligations and when you add the burden of expensive childcare to it, it comes to a breaking point. On the subject of corporal punishment, I'm stunned that it is still allowed in some States in schools. How utterly archaic and counter productive to a child's development. When my daughter was a toddler, I started a playgroup because there were no kids her age in our neighborhood. There was a group of about 7 or 8 mothers and their kids, and on the very first meeting at my house, one of the mothers spanked her kid in front of all of us because the toddler didn't listen to her. We were all shocked and it got very quiet and awkward. What can a 2 year old possibly do, that you as a grown adult lose your s..t, and hit your small 2 year old child? Let's just say, that mother never returned to our play group. I've experienced corporal punishment during my childhood on occasion quite severe, and it was absolutely devastating to me and had lasting effects. I swore to myself then that if I ever had any kids, they would never have to experience that, and she didn't. Children should never have to fear their parents or any person of authority over them.
Love your comments, Isa, and agree with everything that you write - especially this part - "My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed." I so agree - a failure of society.
As a German, i even find it cute, when Childs play or Talk free in a train, even If it is a bit louder. It makes me Smile, to see a happy Child.
Yoú two are an awesome team. Glad that your family seems to enjoy Germany.
This is exactly what I experienced. My son was born in the US and I was so afraid that my son would not survive school when and was constantly watching him because I was afraid that he would be kidnapped. Even after I came back to Germany it took me quite some time to calm down and realize that he is safe here.
In Quebec, Canada, women get a year, paid maternity leave with their jobs guaranteed upon their return. There is even an option to stay home for another 6 months. Daycare can cost as little as $7 per day, spaces permitting.
That’s pretty good! 🇨🇦 has it better than the US.
Sunday morning. Time for enlarging my personal horizon. On a very uncommon but entertaining way 👍😄.
Thank you for coming to Germany and for your ongoing stories on your YT channel !
Guten Morgen, Klaus!! Thanks for watching!
Wie have a saying in Germany (well, I think it actually originated in Africa, but we readily adopted it): "Um ein Kind aufzuziehen, braucht es ein ganzes Dorf." - "To raise a child, you need a whole village." It is just naturally to look out for children you encounter, even if they aren't your own. Recently I was waiting in line at a ice parlour and one father had one child with him and the other was waiting in the seat on the bike. He kept looking at the child he left outside, but eventually the line moved forward enough that he had to go in and place his order. Pretty much everyone in line kept their eyes on the child for him until he was done automatically.
I love this about German culture!
That was German staring, the appreciated way.
This was really interesting.
I'm a German living in Greece and my children consider Germany not very child friendly compared to Greece. As a parent I would say that Germany is definitely very parent friendly and hence also child friendly, but when it comes to how people interact with children I'd say that Greeks do better than Germans. Hearing how children live in the US made me very sad, but also helped me understand the why of US politics. If you can't trust anyone you can't trust your government and you must focus mainly on your own survival and wellbeing and don't care about community.
How specifically do you think people in Greece interact in a better way with children?
@@carpediem5232 I tell you a few interactions I've experienced with my children in Greece that I don't think would have taken place in Germany:
1) I get onto the bus with a toddler and need to close the pushchair because there's not much space and a bunch of teenagers sitting in the back of the bus are listening to music and trying to behave "cool". The biggest guy with his girlfriend on his lap sees my toddler and screams right through the whole bus: "A little girl!!! She's so beautiful, I want a daughter like her when I'll be older!!! Come here little girl, sit with us until your mummy gets the pushchair closed." My daughter walked there and all the teens wanted to have her sit on their lap, talk to her. They told her how pretty she was, gave her snacks, asked for her name and said her name was beautiful. She sat with them until the teens had to get off and they brought her to me making sure she was sitting down properly before they got off the bus and waved at her, calling her with her name saying goodbye.
2) when we would go have some food at a taverna if it wasn't absolutely busy the stuff would approach the kids and ask if they wanted go see some cat/fish/baby/the kitchen/... If I had a baby they'd offer to carry it around a bit so I could eat more easily. Usually kids would be offered a little sweet for free. Children running around would never be seen as a problem neither by staff nor by guests. It's also not uncommon that children go to other tables and people talk to them and sometimes can offer them a little from their food.
3) when I had to do stuff like going to the bank or in a public office or anything else that requires queuing and had little kids or a baby with me it was absolutely standard I was told to skip and just go next even if I had like 20 people in front of me. Everybody agrees that you can't require pregnant women, babies and toddlers to wait for a long time in such a setting. If the staff don't call a pregnant woman to the desk, people in the queue will approach staff and tell them there's a pregnant woman/baby/toddler so they can call them to skip the queue.
4) when I flew to Germany, pushchairs, being considered bulky luggage would arrive in the end after all the other luggage. When I flew to Greece pushchairs would be brought directly to the exit of the airplane, so parents wouldn't have to carry the child and contemporary have to get their luggage.
5) While at the beach other parents will encourage their children to approach your child and invite them to play together. They'll offer your child food, toys and look out for your child. If people see you struggling with carrying all the stuff you carry when having little kids, most likely someone will offer help.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well to some extend I think it has more to do with a different approach to privacy while it also seems to me that a lot of what you described happens in Germany as well. In a Restaurant for example, as long as it was outside I often have seen children running around. Compliments for children are pretty common too.
When it comes to the situation in the bus I know similar situations from the train where people either give up their seat entirely so that a young child can sit or interact with the child. Although it has to be said that again this is accompanied with a look or two to the parent once in a while as if to check if they are also fine with that "intrusion" of family privacy. The same goes for helping to carry a piece of luggage maybe or helping carry the pushchair down the stairs.
As far as kids roaming around and maybe getting a snack, that is something I know from parks.
And parents encouraging their children to play with others is common on play grounds.
That pregnant women/ parents with toddlers are able to skip the queue is also pretty common in my experience.
When it comes to pushchairs on plains that would probably have to be the policy of the airline or the airport. Lufthansa for example seems to have the same service you mentioned. "Sobald das Flugzeug die Parkposition erreicht, erhalten Sie den Buggy an der Fluggastbrücke zurück oder am Fuß der Fluggasttreppe, falls der Transfer mit dem Bus stattfindet."
There seem to be some airports where as a passenger you can not take the push chair into the plane cabin yourself, but it seems that the the same service of getting the pushchair once you leave the plain still applies.
All in all. I can't say that these examples seem that strange or foreign for me. There might be a difference in how "open" you perceive it, which probably has to do with the different approach to privacy already mentioned, but non of the examples you listed would seem out of place to me if they happened in Germany and many actually happen in Germany in similar fashion. That's at least my experience.
@@carpediem5232 I agree that these things can happen in Germany, too, it's a question of frequency I think. In Germany I've had the experience of people trying to get in front of me in a queue while busy with my toddler, that never ever happened to me in Greece and would have brought very hostile reactions towards the person trying to do that. In Germany nobody cared, not even staff. I've also in Germany had the experience that many people refused to help me with the stairs and the pushchair, even when I was having two children, luggage and the pushchair. One person even said "why did you get a child if you can't handle it on your own?" 😮
My children having experienced both Germany and Greece growing up, consider Greece being much more child friendly. I think it's just the general attitude.
What I personally really love about Germany are the great playgrounds. They are really designed to the needs of children. Greek playgrounds are very boring compared to German ones. And in Germany families get much more help financially than in Greece.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well all of what you mentioned is not socially excepted also. Skipping the line anyway, skipping it in front of an elderly person, or a parent with toddler especially. Of course I won't discount your experience, but in my experience it is more likely that 3 or more people look if they can help a parent down some stairs than none at all. But yeah always interesting to hear another perspective.
Interesting to hear as always. I would be interesting to see how the kids perceive the difference. Maybe they cannot really articulate it perfectly but it won´t be long until it might not be more than a hazy memory. So maybe ask them for their take before all the memory fades, because it´s probably mostly the little things that won´t really be remembered for long by anyone.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. But it depends on your social class, really.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. They really like all of the independence they have here in Germany.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I think the effects don't really become noticeable until they are teenagers, when they start to wean themselves off their parents!? In the US, children are sheltered and restricted with prohibitions until they leave home and then fall into the cold water, right?
I think whether maternity/paternity leave is used equally is very much an issue of the particular culture of that place. At my work, parents commonly share the leave more or less equally (and yes, they actually use it to take care of their kids). But I work at a university and universities are rather notoriously progressive. Nobody there really questions fathers taking paternity leave and it's quite common. But I do know from friends who work in places with a more conservative culture that it's much more uncommon for fathers to take more than the two partner months.
Hey leute - the second half of this video is here! "Germany Helps Parents in Ways Americans Can Only Dream About!" czcams.com/video/NCIbqtUIbag/video.html Thanks so much for your comments - I've really enjoyed discussing some of these tough topics with you.
Well, I took one year off after our son was 1 year old. The first year i worked, the second my wife. In diesem zweiten Lebensjahr war ich Hausmann, 24 stunden für meinen Sohn da. Heute ist mein Sohn 21 Jahre alt und wir haben eine wundervolle beziehung, obwohl die EHE lange geschieden ist. VÄTER! Es bringt Euch nicht nur näher zu Euren Kindern, sondern lässt Euch in demut erstarren vor der Arbeit die "Hausfrauen" leisten...
For families with low income there is also the option of getting a special ticket from the city or county. This ticket guarantees free entrance to some attractions and museums as well as public pools. And nearly every sports club and a lot of summer camps have a "Förderverein" that pays the fees, trainings and equipment for children when their families can't afford it.
Oh that’s awesome!
I never heard such good explanations for this themes.
Just a technical thing: When you're in the "two people in front of camera talking" setup, I think you should mix the mic audio input to a mono track in the editing process, as you get weird effects when one of the mics is being positioned partly behind some "obstacle" like a shoulder or a fold in the clothing ,or when it's catching more from what's also on the other mic's channel. It then feels like something got stuffed into the viewers ear.
When Kevin turns his head towards your mic it suddenly sounds fully stereo, and when he turns back to look into the camera, on channel drops off dramatically.
Best would be if you'd have ONE more "pro" mic standing or hanging at the camera position, right underneath the lens.
So mix them both together into one channel and make that appear on both left and right final audio channels.
14 month Elternzeit is really one of the things we did best in Germany …i feel a bit proud
I agree - it's something to be proud of!
I absolutely LOVED everything you had to say about the topic.
To my mind, the greatest differences between Germany (and most of Europe )and the US is less fear and less violence in all categories of life. I don’t understand that a nation with this immense wealth and power is so insecure and fearful.
Yeah it's really interesting to see how Europe and the USA have changed so much culturally. I think part of the reason for the fear in the USA is the lack of support among the poor - they have very difficult lives with very little security for their futures. Also, after WWII, Europe really progressed forward and learned from the two terrible World Wars. I'm not exactly sure why the US did not.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sometimes I think the american government is very violent not only against their society but also against other countries. They show you are very successful when you are brutal with all the wars and regime changes and so on. You can take what you want and everything is ok if it's good for yourself. I allways must think about Albright and the 500.000 Iraqi children.
@@arnolsi 500.000 what can you explain very quickly... how did they do that
@ Die meisten starben an Infektionen und Vergiftungen, vor allem durch verunreinigtes Wasser. Es gab keine Medikamente und keine Chemikalien zur Wasseraufbereitung.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Ein wesentlicher Grund müsste die Existenz der DDR gewesen sein: In Deutschland waren beide Systeme über Jahrzehnte im direkten Wettbewerb, wer seinen Bürgern das bessere Leben bietet. Relativ kurz nach der Wiedervereinigung wurde das soziale Netz zurück gebaut. Die jetzigen Verbesserungen, insbesondere im Familienbereich, sind auf die niedrigen Geburtenraten zurück zu führen. Kinder werden auch als Investition in die Zukunft gesehen: Deutschland hat wenig Rohstoffe. Der Wohlstand kommt von gut ausgebildeten Menschen. Daher war es wichtig, dass Frauen ermutigt werden, wieder mehr Kinder zu haben. Außerdem ist es wichtig, dass die Kinder gut ausgebildet sind, um später unseren Wohlstand zu halten.
Hi, I just wanted to say that I've been watching and enjoying your videos, since I discovered that you the same as we, have moved (but from Mexico) to Germany in Feb 2021 as well. Great content! Keep up with the great job!
Ah so cool! From Mexico! Spanish was the first foreign language I learned and I will forever love it. I hope you and your family are happy here. 💕
Now that I'm watching your video for the second time to translate it for my sister, I can think of an old German idiom that is wonderfully applicable to you McFalls (and in this case especially to kevin!): when you think positively of something or someone If you are surprised or amazed you say: "Old Swede! Have fun googling where that came from and have a pleasant holiday! Michael/Hanover
Btw, a lot of the view on child rearing in Germany also ties back (like so many things) to the NAZI time. Basically we realised that raising children to be obedient MIGHT not be the best idea. Hence there was a phase in which all kinds of child raising was tested out...we actually went all the way in the other direction for some time, with the "laissez-Faire" style, in which the children were basically allowed to do everything, which turned out to be not quite right either, because those children tended to grow up quite spoiled. So nowadays, most people settle somewhere in the middle, in which there are SOME boundaries for the children, but they are also treated like full human beings.
Oh wow, interesting! I had no idea this was part of the reason, but it makes sense. It’s so important to raise children who think for themselves and aren’t forced to think a certain way.
Sorry i found your posting very strange to say it friendly.
@@alluresoftheseas2999 Why? Where do you see the discrepancies?
@@alluresoftheseas2999 why?..
Als erstes frage ich mich welche Bücher Sie gelesen haben und komme zweitens zu der Annahme das sie keine Nachkriegskindheit in Deutschland hatten.
The gun violence issue is so insane, at least from my german perspective. Its crazy for me to think of strangers carrying guns. Never have I ever heard of someone being shot within my social circles or in general. Sure there might be some really rare occasions in the news (national wide), like 5-ish a year if not less. I can't understand why people are so stubborn if it comes to owning guns.... and call it "freedom" - the more guns a society "got" - the more people will die. period. There is no way around it.
Actually there are many guns in Germany as well. I think Germans rank 4th on gun ownership. So it is not the guns that kill people, it is indeed the violent society (in the US) that kills.
@@JakobFischer60 really? apart from hunters? Maybe its just my area, but I know no one, nor someone who knows someone who owns a gun.
@@moelleunbelievable Yes, 32 weapons per 100 capita in Germany vs. 101 in USA. Total homicites in Germany 42 vs. 10945 in USA. (Data from 2014)
@@JakobFischer60 okay thanks, I wasn't aware of it. nevertheless, the homicide numbers speak for themselves. Glad to live in Germany :-P
@@moelleunbelievable Yes, I think it comes from social inequality and social accepted aggression.
It must also be remembered that every state depends on children being born. The state benefits from the birth of a child who, as an adult, takes up a profession, buys goods from the money earned and pays taxes. Only with births can a state function in the long term.
Children are our future and, of course, the future of a state.
Yes such a good point.
To me as a neighbour of a super noisy family it is a horror that children can be as loud as they want the WHOLE day. I really suffer because the shouting and stomping for hours is so exhausting. I have to work from home and often cannot understand my conversational partners during video meeting since the neighbors' children are so loud. I think parents still have a responsibility to be considerate of their neighbors. When I was a child, my mother often told me to be a bit more quiet as we had elderly neighbors and I understood it and tried to follow. My today's neighbors think that it will harm their children's development if they tell them to be more quiet. 🙄 It is very frustrating to me and I think that there should be a law that restricts children's noise to a certain amount. To me, it is totally clear that children are louder than adults but that should not be used as a "license" to be loud. By the way, I think Kevin's story is from Sweden. In Germany there is Nachtruhe, usually from 10 pm to 6 am and not even children are allowed to be noisy during this time period (except crying of course, but they are not allowed to play loudly).
I can totally understand the difficulty you must have with loud children while working from home. Before COVID, working from home wasn’t that common. But now that it is perhaps this law needs to be updated.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I am happy that most parents are not like my neighbours but for those few who are, an updated law would be helpful. We also have other neighbours with children and the parents are very considerate and even said they hope that their children are not too loud, even though we have not felt disturbed by them at all.
In the US apartment complexes and condos do have quiet time in the US. It isn't during the day but still there is a quiet time. Generally speaking a person who is going to be working from home can afford a tiny home out in the country. Since this is the case it's a choice to live in an apartment or condo. If you want quiet build a tiny home out in the wilderness (as I said before). I HATED that kids had to be quiet in Germany and Switzerland, but I respected it because renting isn't as much of a choice in Germany and Switzerland. Kids are loud, kids love to stomp, and they love to hear themselves make noise. This is plain and simple and kids need to be kids.
@@jessicaely2521 I know that it is normal that kids are louder but I think it is still the parents' responsibility to be considerate about the neighbours when you live in an apartment building. That does not mean that they have to be quiet all day. There is still the opportunity to go outside with the kids e.g. to one of the countless playgrounds in my neighbourhood and there is no need to stay inside the whole day. Also, it was very interesting that my neighbour's kids are able to be more quiet. At some point, the father changed his strategy from "my children are not noisy" to "I will to tell them to be more quiet at least for two hours a day" and voila it works. For a few weeks, I am able to work without interruption again. In my experience, many parents in Germany saying that children need to be children are just not willing enough to deal with the children. It is easy to have children but not to bring them up. As I said, most parents are NOT like my neighbours but it is a problem if you have those neighbours - even if you have own children. My best friend who is a mother of two couldn't believe how noisy my neighbour's kids were and told me she would go crazy.
I think that there is also a cultural difference between the US and Germany. I experienced that people in the US are way louder than Germans. In Germany, people try to be more quiet in order not to disturb others. Even parents take care that their children are not too loud in public places which does not mean that Germans are monsters and will complain when a child gets a tantrum in a train or a restaurant. But it is common to take care that a child does not yell or stomp around for a longer period of time when you share a space with other people.
@@marieme5454 if you live in an area where you're working from home don't put yourself in the situation where you can be disturbed. You probably have the choice of living in a tiny home in the US. Leave the apartments for people who are working at McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. A good chunk of people who are working the fast food joints have children and don't have the choice to get a home. 10 pm to 7 am is quiet time. Kids being loud outside of these times you either have to put your big kid panties on and deal with it, get good noise canceling headphones (they really work), or get a home where it's you and only you. It's you're responsibility and only your responsibility to make yourself comfortable in an apartment outside of quiet time.
On a personal level, Sarah, today for the first time I felt like I heard some Southern Twang in your vowels - can you do that more often? I love it!
the percentage and duration of fathers taking paternal leave is getting better, it’s also getting accepted more in the work environment. But as t’s still usually the man earning a higher wage than the woman in a relationship, and as the money you get during parental leave is a percentage of your actual salary (simply put), it’s still more economical for the father to stay home less time than the mother
The core of the difference is already in the wording: In the USA, health care and all the amenities around child birth are a benefit, in Germany (and all other EU countries), they are a right. The effect is clear: infant mortality rate in the USA is double of that in most European countries, and life expectancy is around three years lower in the States.
Yes!! Infant and maternal mortality rights are higher in the USA than in most other industrialized nations. WHAT?! That shouldn't be so for such a rich country. But yes you make such a good point that in Germany, health care and benefits for families are considered a right. It's a HUGE difference between the two countries.
You can't use infant mortality rate as a comparison of if a country is better or not. Infant mortality is from some number when you're pregnant to age 1. Most countries report infant mortality at different stages. Some countries might say infant mortality counting starts at birth where other countries says it starts at 2 weeks after the egg is fertilized. If the US had their way infant mortality rate would start when the egg is fertilized. My sister-in-law lost her baby when she was pregnant. My sister-in-law was 4.9 months into her pregnancy. My sister-in-law had all of the prenatal care that any EU country gives their citizens. She lost the baby because she got pneumonia. The only way for my sister-in-law to have the best chances to survive was by delivering the baby. If her baby was born a week later her baby would have survived. Her baby is counted as part of the infant mortality rate. You also have to take into consideration birth defects that isn't caused by not having prenatal care. I lost a baby because the heart didnt grow. I had all of the prenatal care you can imagine. My baby counted against infant mortality. Zika (a mosquito disease) can cause a mother to lose a baby. Europe doesn't have Zika yet. They also probably never will get Zika. Zika takes hold in tropical and subtropical environments. European countries arent tropical or subtropical (yet. You never know what will happen with global warming). Most of the countries in Euope don't have the climate for Zika to take hold. You have to take into account SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) into account. No amount of prenatal or postnatal care can prevent this yet. Australia has found the reason for SIDS. It's an enzyme that babies lack. Now comes the research into why this enzyme is lacking, can you test for it while baby is in the womb, and can you fix it while baby is in or out of womb. The US has a higher rate of babies dying from SIDS than Germany
yeah but you can have all the guns and ammo in the world :)
@@jessicaely2521 It's not true that countries define child mortality differently, since this is a definition by the UN, not by individual countries. Where did you get this from?
Child mortality is the mortality of children under the age of five, according to the WHO. The child mortality rate, refers to the probability of dying between birth and exactly five years of age per 1,000 *_live births,_* according to UNICEF.
The latter organisation also tracks number of stillbirths (after the 28th week of pregnancy), neonatal mortality rate for mortality in the first month after birth, infant mortality rate for children under one year of age, and adolescent mortality rate of children between the age of 10 to 19. There is no official UN statistics covering the loss of unborns in the first 28 weeks of pregnancy.
Ihr Lieben. Was mich besonders freut ist das ihr die deutsche Flagge in den Farben Schwarz Rot Gold abgebildet habt.
When I was little and walked home from Kindergarten, I touched a broken pane from from a cellar window by the sidewalk and slit my finger open. Immediately a lady came out that house to give me a band-aid and apologize to my mom because the window had just been smashed during a move and they didn't have time to cover it yet. Even though it hurt, it is a very fond memory of mine.
The "eye doctor" - is not the person fixing the glasses, that is not the Augenarzt, that is the Optiker. The eye-doctor is the one who checks on the eyes and prescribes the glasses. Not where you get the new lenses/ glasses.
Yes that is correct - just faster in a video to say that. However, this lady we go to does check the children's eyes and prescribes glasses, and she sells the frames and lenses that we buy.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife
Der Optiker (Apollo, Fielmann Runke usw.) the can do that...but the need a Rezept 📝.
Ein guter Optiker 🥸 kontrolliert all again and misst den Augenabstand 🤓👀,stellt "the glasses 👓 self in/ ein.
Yah genau totally agree with each point you made. BTW, this coming sommer ferien my family and I are going to a kinder hotel in the Austrian alps. We were so impressed with your video when ou guys visited a kinder hotel, we were sold! BTW, if you guys ever want to visit Cologne we would be delighted to show you guys around, I have two kids (a 10 yr old and 7 yr old). Expats here from Los Angeles since 2018. I love love your videos!
Oh so cool you’re also Americans! You could’ve given great advice in this video. Thanks for the invitation to Cologne - we do want to get up there soon!
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife For me, the feeling of safety, a kid-centric society, being independent, selfless and weekly forest walkabouts are the major factors in child-rearing here in Deutschland.
I think you are wonderful parents!
Very interesting and great Video! :)
The violence against kids really really shocked me! That would never happen! You only see that in movies. That is very worrisome !
Isn’t it? It’s not okay
Hi there! I'm very happy that you are feeling so at home here :-)
Paternal leave is definitely taken in the Province of Quebec, Canada. This varies from province to province, but Quebec is likely the most progressive and currently has the most affordable child care. As a result, very few mothers quit their job in the province of Quebec. Thankfully, this system is now being spread to the entire country.
Great video all in all!
The understanding of child tantrums is a fairly recent development. When I was in the tantrum age (early/mid 1970 s) that only just began. These days really most people just think something like “poor parents … have to go through that (together wit the child)!” And that’s it. But as I said: only in the last … 20 years or so has that become normal here. Scandinavians were a bit quicker, I think.
The main thing I take from this video is how important it is that we value what we have and watch out so that we can keep all those things! It can be all too easy to regress in these matters, just as it sometimes is a real fight to progress!
Such a nice family
I really loved this video. It's really great to see someone talking about these topics so open-minded and reflected. And I really appreciate that you're using studies to prove your points. That's why I think you should never excuse yourselve for talking about politics or opinion. I think this is as well something where America and Germany are different: I just read some years ago that you're not supposed to talk about politics or religion in America, but I think if it is in an factual way and you actually have good arguments and can even prove them (and in case of religion are respectful to these believes as long as they're not hurting some people or minority groups) it is really important to talk about it. Because politics are everywhere and are in our whole everyday life. The pros about raising kids in Germany you have mentioned are the result of people talking about politics and even complaining about it. There was a time in germany where many children of poor people died in the first days because their mothers had to go straight back to work in a factory for a starvation wage, because without even this joke of a wage their other children would'nt get fed and would probably die. And that's where some really brave people invented labor organizations and did fight for their rights (Paula Thiede for example
Hello to my favorite American family! I just stumbled over this video after I watched your new one (ICE trip) yesterday.
I‘m from Austria and the same things you mentioned about Germany are as well valid for Austria. We have free commute to school, free school books, everybody’s able to get a place in Kindergarten, the communities offer holiday camps at a very reasonable rate and so on.
Now I‘m 60 but I was never spanked or beaten in my whole life.
I more and more realize how lucky we are in Germany when it comes to raising kids. We use to complain so often but we should be grateful for what is good and improve what could be better. But to add my 2 cents on this discussion: think one reason reason why we have this support system for parents and families (at least financially spoken) in the end also is due to the „Rentensystem“ (pension system) which is built on the fact that children are needed to keep it running.
A very well done video!! :) Totally agree with you on all points. I very much enjoyed it even though I have to say I was shocked to hear that spanking is still legal AND used in schools in 19 states in the US and especially targets certain groups of kids - either the most vulnerable like disabled kids or children of color as well as boys in general. Plus with the research you so eloquently and coherently added to video: it just all makes sense that men are more susceptible to what we call 'toxic masculinity' in later years when those kids were poorly treated in a shame inducing environment as kids. It all makes sense. It added another piece to the puzzle. So great job on that! :)
It was also so great to see how you know seem to be fluent in both languages. Just the fact that you added some German words to the mix and it came out so naturally without even thinking about it was really great to see and shows how far you've come already. :) Also your "Schwimmbads" made me smile: It sounded so adorable and I hope I don't make you stop by just pointing it out. I call them inter word switches between languages (or somthing similar) whenever that happens to me because the switch happens within the word. :) This feels so much like home to me. :)
Great job as well for pointing out the importance for dads as well taking parental leave. I recently learned from a short British documentary done by the BBC that dad's brains also shift thru child rearing to a larger extent than i had previously known and that depends on the time spent with your child. so it's not just the mother's brain that changes thru pregnancy + also time spend with one's child. So women get a head start in the beginning but it's the time spent that is the really important part in the end. Also great news for any couple who for whatever reason adopts a child. (For the reference just search for it on yt in case someone is interested )
"There were a few shootings in the town..." wtf. Even hearing this sentence makes me shiver as a German. It never ever should sound so normal
You are so right - and we didn’t even think about that as we said it!! This is how normal gun violence has become in the US. So normal that regular shootings aren’t a bad thing anymore.
I Love the Sunday moring with your Videos 🥰Thank you.👍✌️Have nice Day.☀️
Thank you! Schönen Sonntag you also!
Do U.S. citizens generally have a different view of what the state's responsibilities are? I would be really interested to know why many US-Americans consider it interference when the state takes care of its inhabitants. I mean, the state is not a hostile association, after all. For me as a German, the state consists of its citizens and the politicians are employees of the people. For me, it is precisely the supreme task of the state to be there for its citizens. Can someone explain to me the thought process in America?
Well it depends on the political affiliation of the person. Conservatives want as little government help as possible. Basically just there to keep citizens safe, build and maintain the public infrastructure, and provide schools. They believe that if you’re poor, it’s all your fault. Liberals believe more like you - the state is not something hostile and can be there to help us in times or need as well as take care of basic needs. Liberals understand that poverty is not just the fault of the individual - it’s a very complex issue.
as a European who's very interested in american politics i say the most shocking thing is the abandonment of individuals.
Our filosphy in Europe is that the state is a monster, but he`s less bad than all the other monster in society.
the way the large American industries are allowed to prey on mostly defenceless individuals is mind boggling to us.
the banks,oil companies,pharmaceutical and medical/insurance industries are allowed to get away with is unreal to us.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Wow, the idea that being poor is the poor person's fault is so Victorian, literally. This is the philosophy of the Workhouse and Oliver Twist.
@@TukikoTroy In the case of the US it is probably more Puritanical in origin.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I mean as seen with the opposition last infrastructure bill, the "law and order" crowd that basically is more interested in protecting property than civil rights across the board and the ongoing onslaught against public schools by prominent republican voices or political appointments like Betsy DeVos, even the few points mentioned are not really points many or sometimes even most conservatives fully stand behind. At least that's the impression I get.
My school in Germany had the shooter drills too but only after the school shooting in 2009. However I think we only did that for like 2 years where we actually played out the situation with hiding under the desk etc. Later on I remember we only got told what we would do and how the school bells would ring so we can distinguish it from the fire drills.
Great video as always! Another one I’ll share with my friends in the states when they ask me why I moved to Austria!
Hahaha there ya go! My hope is that these conversations can help improve things in the USA. But things are SO bitterly politically divided there now there are no more intelligent or productive conversations happening anymore. Until that changes, I don't thinks will improve.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife fortunately I haven’t had that experience ( I’m from a liberal part of California). Most friends are just jealous of the healthcare and childcare, and wish they could move too.
thanks for this nice video .. i am afraid that most of germans take all the things you mentioned for granted as we are used to them all of our lives or at least for decades.
nice to have you here!
Do you know what is "kindkrank" in Germany? 🙂If your child is sick, as an employee you can stay at home and take care of your child.
In the UK as a teacher or healthcare professional you can have a yr off for maternity leave with 6 months full pay. But childcare is ridiculously expensive. Wish we were still in Europe 😢
Regarding the noise restrictions: They used to apply to children, too. We weren't allowed to play outside between 12 and 14:30, and not after 7. (That was in the 70's)
My mother in-law in France was always embarrassed about how loud my children were outside in her garden. They were just used to the fact that it was okay to play like they wanted to.
German children are more independent, that is true. In French supermarkets my kids would enjoy having their own miniature cart and occasionally cruise over to the next aisle, whereas the French children would hold on to Mommy's cart.
And on class trips French students always nicely stay together as a group, whereas the German students run off all the time because "they had just had to do something really quick" (usually to buy food).
And as a teacher in the US, you think three times about doing a class trip, because of the legal responsibility involved.
A friend of my family took his paternal leave during the soccer world cup, maybe that’s the German equivalent to going moose hunting 😂
Yeah there ya go!
But you really have to time your kids well 😉
You should visit Leipzig! The train station is the biggest in Europe (by area) - for your kids the zoo in Leipzig is world famous. AND if you want some history just visit "The monument of the battle of the nations" = Völkerschlachtdenkmal. Leipzig is definitely a town to consider to have a visit! =D
And for music lovers, it's the city of Bach, he was Cantor in the city's Thomaskirche.
Omg Germany is great for children! Some of your points are blowing my mind. Makes me really think twice about raising kids here in America. I recently acquired Austrian citizenship, so this is actually a possibility for me. Thanks for making a great video.
Oh it would be interesting to see how it’s done in Austria - hopefully some Austrians will comment below.
I just talked with my husband how much being a child in Germany has changed since we were children in the 70s.
Note: I come from the Rhine-Rhur-area…not a cozy village like yours. 😉
I hardly see younger children playing outside without parents around. We played outside with our friends until we had to go to dinner.
Lots of people bring their children to primary school and then stand outside watching them until they go into their classes. My mother walked one or two times with me, then I had to show her the way on my own and I went to school alone (same for my classmates).
Even though it is not as bad as in the States I see that children have less opportunities today just to be children (without parents hanging around all the time) and to be independent than it was in my childhood.
When I was a child we simply went to the house where our friends lived, rang the bell and asked whether they can come out playing. Today parents have to make appointments with each other for play dates.
I know times change, but I really wish todays children would have more opportunities for independence and we would allow them to make their own experience….including failure.
But nevertheless it is nice that you appreciate the benefits Germany has for families.
What is most shocking for me about the States is your health care system. It is unbelievable that something essential like health care depends on the company you work for and is not the same for everyone.
Yeah after seeing how well universal healthcare can work in so many other countries, it’s ridiculous that so many are still afraid of it. The Cold War had a huge impact on that - it made Americans so afraid of anything that seems like socialism - even the things that are good. And what they still don’t realize is these things are socialism at all, but a social democracy. Totally different!!
Did you know that in Germany there’s even a law that children have to help in the household of their parents? See paragraph 1619 of the BGB (Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch):
“§ 1619 Services in the home and business. As long as the child is a member of the parental household and is brought up or maintained by the parents, he or she shall be obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life.”
I printed that one out and put it on the fridge door to refer on it whenever my children refuse to do minor jobs in our household… 😜😜😜
Oh wow! What an interesting thing to make a law about. Do you know how old this law is?
Same here. The thing is, you probably wouldn't be able to sue your kids on this. Resp. If you do, it'd be not enforceable. So, even if you'd win at the court, nobody would be coming over to make your kid clean their room, set the table and put their dirty laundry away.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife „The provision on the obligation of children to cooperate under family law was originally classified in the Civil Code as § 1617. With the reform of non-marital law, it moved to the place of the vacated § 1619 on July 1, 1970.“
Background: In the early 20th century, the § 1617 had important practical consequences because it established that the child's earnings in the household and business of the parents accrued directly to the parents without first becoming the property of the child. Due to economic, social, and cultural changes, the importance of the duty to cooperate has since declined significantly.
@@e.l.l.y. Love this one by the German paper “Die Zeit”:
Education by threat of legal action
How the Civil Code can help parents
By Til Knipper
Admittedly, as a childless, 26-year-old single man, I'm not exactly predestined to give parents parenting tips, but as a qualified lawyer, I can point to a provision from the German Civil Code that could make life easier for many parents: Section 1619 of the German Civil Code. According to this provision, "as long as a child belongs to the parental household and is brought up and maintained by the parents, he or she is obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life".
How many annoying discussions could parents save themselves by pointing out this rule? The daughter doesn't want to clean up her room - threat to sue her. The lawn seems a bit too high to you again - perhaps your son can be persuaded by § 1619 to take the annoying mowing job off your hands. You would like to have a cold beer, but you would have to fetch it from the basement - § 1619. The dishwasher would have to be cleaned out again and the bathroom and kitchen could be cleaned - § 1619. The list could be continued indefinitely.
One might now object that a lawsuit within the family could temporarily strain domestic coexistence. This is probably true. The enforceability of a judgment that has been obtained could also prove difficult, as shrewd legal experts will point out. But as a rule, one will not have to go that far. An appropriate threat, supported by the relevant provision, will convince the offspring to help out in the household.
Anyone who thinks this is modern slavery is unaware of what happens to children who have everything taken away from them at home. Such spoiled brats become nest stools who would prefer to stay at "Hotel Mum" for the rest of their lives. Personal responsibility, a skill that can't be learned early enough these days, is a foreign word to them. Don't you think? I can only recommend the French film "Tanguy - the couch potato ", in which director Etienne Chatilliez takes a comedic look at the phenomenon of pushing the "hospitality" of parents to the limit in a cost-saving way.
In any case, my children get § 1619 BGB framed and hung above the bed at birth, so that they know right away how the wind blows... 😂😂😂😂
Your comparisons of life in Germany vs the US are really enlightening! But sadly, anyone who might propose these kinds of changes to life in America would be demonized and labeled as a communist.
Thanks for providing me with my weekly dose of optimism!
Yes that is why the USA stays stuck in the past and isn't moving forward with the rest of the industrialized world in some areas. The Cold War so deeply embedded this idea that any system that supports its citizens is related to communism. So instead of finding a middle ground, like so many countries in Europe have, the USA abandons taking care of its citizens all together. In English we have a saying - "you're cutting off your nose to spite your face." In other words, in trying to help yourself you actually hurt yourself and make things a lot worse.
Germany is home to the European Field Hamster, but the pets are, as stated Syrian Hamsters, often called Gold Hamsters.
My wife and I took parental leave 50/50. She had the first seven paid month and I the other seven. We're both nurses, and at that time working at the same ward. I enjoyed every minute. I was there when he started to walk, a thing that working fathers often miss.
I love that you were able to split it and that you got to see your child walk! Yes dads miss out on so much when they don’t get to have parental leave. It’s good for the entire family.
The Kindergarten payment is interesting. In Canada there is something similar, known as Canada Child Benefit started in 1997. This money was originally only given to the mother's. The original reason for this was to avoid giving the money to the father who might just use it to go out drinking. Today it is given to the principal guardian of the child.
With the couples I know, the fathers have actually taken their share of parental leave, and nobody regretted it. I know a friend of mine particular liked the time where her leave and her husbands' overlapped (whcih they planned that way) and they could really take time to bond with their child together and become a functioning family.
Also, kinda impressed with the way you pronounced Kinderförderungsgesetz!
Okay good to know! Thanks for sharing. Yeah, Kevin really nailed the pronunciation, didn’t he?!
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife In an US social-report (I do not remember if it was with Michael Moore or in "Food Inc") was pointed out a big problem in the USA: Big fast food-chains (Mc Donald's, Burger King ect) are often the only ones in big cities providing properly playgrounds for kids. But that has nothing to do with humanity or social conscience but with customer retention in the youngest target group... 🤔🍔
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife He did. The ö and the s between the two gs are often overlooked and pronouncing them right makes such a difference. Good job!
Hallo McFall family. I enjoy watching your videos alot! This one particularly was very insightful. We are a family from South Africa, but hubby is German. What you mentioned in your video is pretty much whats happening in South Africa, and I'm truly grateful, that we could move to Germany just before the pandamic. Anyway in regards to maternity leave in South Africa you get 3 months and you have to apply for (Unemployment Insurance Fund). Then depending on which company you work for, it could be up to 6 months of which 4 months is paid for and 2 is unpaid. Liebe Grüße Kerry 😊
I really enjoyed listening to you talking about all these things and learned a lot. At the beginning you talked about gun management and shootings etc in the US and later in the video you raised the issue of spanking kids... now I wonder whether there is any connection.
Was shocked about the spanking by teachers thing btw.
Yeah good point - I wouldn't be surprised if there is some connection.
At the city I live (Schwäbisch Hall) all Museums have free entrance for everybody
Oh wow! That's great. Are these museums subsidized by Schwäbisch Hall?
I'm curious (and maybe also a little to lazy to google it right now upsi) about the opening times of your kita. Bc I heard that in the former west Germany it's a joke meaning they only open a few hours and close around 12.30. Is that true in your own experience in Bavaria?
(I mean you're lucky to have one parent being able to work from home but how do parents of other families are even able to work, it sounds impossible that both parents can work)
So I'm from east Germany thus having both parents work full-time was an absolute usual thing throughout the ddr period which influenced our working culture till today. Our kitas here (over generalized, ofc there are always exceptions) usually open at around 7:00 Uhr (some rarely kitas even 6.30, a few also a little later at 7.30) and they close at around 16.30-17.00. So if these short short kinda ridiculous opening times in the south west are actually true... I'm flabbergasted.
Other than that have a relaxing Sunday : )
Ich wusste gar nicht, dass das Schlagen von den Kindern in der Erziehung verboten ist. Aber krass, dass es in der USA scheinbar noch gang und gäbe ist.
Danke für das Video und einen schönen Sonntag wünsche ich noch.
Guten Morgen!
I am actually just so shoked that spanking ISN'T illegal in the US?😳
Right?! Not okay.
i am most shocked that there are still states in the US where schools are allowed to do that. That really is ridiculous.
After the latest events i just wanted to say that we are happy to have you here. These days it is more like lottery who get killed in Us. Cant Image going to a supermarkt and getting shot.
Glad to have you here and impressiv how you integrated so fast 😊
Yes it is like an lottery - so then there’s heightened fear all the time. Makes Americans even more stressed.
I do not know if someone else has already said it but the main reason that e.g. museums are relatively affordable compared to the US is that they are usually heavily subsidized by the state(s) or run by a Verein or foundation - even then they usually get subsidies because the represent common goods important for social cohesion etc.
In contrast most US museums and so on have to run with the money they themselves earn without any help -> much higher prices.
Yes! That’s very true and sad. Then the poor have less access to museums in the US.
Hej Kevin! Lärde Du Dig någonting om föräldrapeng och barnbidrag i Sverige?
Besides Parental or Maternal Leave what I think is really important to mention is the "Mutterschutz", Maternity Protection. In this time a pregnant woman is not even allowed to work, she is supposed to rest. I think it starts 4 weeks before the due date and ends 4 weeks after the birth (and then for most women Maternal Leave will start) with 100% pay. I was shook when my american hostmom told me, that her water broke while she was working.
We do have the "Vätermonate", Fathermonths. 2 Months of Paternity Leave that can only be taken by the fathers to encourage them to use some of the Paternity Leave and as far as I have seen most fathers take those 2 months but not more. It is getting more and more normal for fathers to take a couple of months, maybe even half a year, but I would say that still in most families the mother will take a year and the father only the extra two months. But in general I get the impression that german fathers are a lot more involved in their childrens lives then most american fathers.
Interesting thing about glasses for kids: I actually got all glasses free until I was 18. The lenses were paid by insurance and the frame was free for kids in the shop we used to buy my glasses.
And about places being walkable: I totally agree. I´m German and I lived in Texas as an Au Pair. And not only did it annoy me that I was dependent on a car, the fact that the children were dependent on an adult wit a car absolutely made clear to me, that I would not like to raise a child there. There is actualy a really great CZcams Channel called "Not Just Bikes". It´s a Canadian guy who moved to the Netherlands. He mostly talks about infrastructure but also other things that just work better in the Netherlands. A lot of those things are simular to how it´s done in Germany (although the Dutch are always a little better then we are :D).
I really would like a video where you talk about the things you think are better (for kids) in the US. I didn´t want to seem that negative in my comment, but there actually isn´t really anything that comes to my mind.
Yeah we do mention Mutterschutz in the next video, but I didn’t know that about the two months of paternity leave! That’s awesome! Yeah things that are better in the USA for kids. I’m sure there are some but none that are coming to mind at the moment. More shopping malls? 🤪
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Also worth mentioning that Mutterschutz with 50% pay compensation existed even before WW1. Goes back to the healthcare act of 1883, though unpaid at that time...
Importantly, since 2000 under German child protection laws also psychological violence like shaming and threatening is illigal.
§ 1631 BGB: "Children have the right to a non-violent upbringing. Physical punishment, mental injuries and other degrading measures are not permitted"
Even better! What an awesome law. How is it enforced? Because the kids have had a harsh teacher or two here in school in Germany who say things like - you're a disappointment - when their homework isn't finished. Those kinds of comments are so harmful and totally unnecessary.
You’re right.
Re: Spanking - my parents never spanked us in the moment we were misbehaving, they told us we'd crossed the line and at 6 PM or whatever we'd be getting a spanking. They didn't want to do it while angry at us. We didn't need many spankings, the possibility of it occuring kept us in line. SOOO glad I'll never have to deal with that myself, I'm sure I wouldn't have the self control to keep it together with a tantruming kid.
My parents would do that, too, and it made it even scarier that I had to wait Tyler rest of the day for my spanking! I just lived in fear for longer.
That was a very interesting video. Yeah I am German and I was happy about the „anti-spanking law“ and „noise from playing children is allowed“. And you said the correct word: a certain amount of noise from children! Senseless screaming for a long time is not a playing noise. 😨
Learning to be independent is important. I‘ve heard it once that people from the US were wondering how children go to school alone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Really interesting.