We Got Kicked Out of Our House
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- čas přidán 20. 07. 2023
- Iiiiiiiiiiiiit's... moving time, it's moving time, it's moving time yet again!
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They really need to start making more protective laws where things like this require at least 6 months notice especially with the housing crisis on the rise...
Oh yeah. It get stress hives when I even think about American rent laws.
I was actually in a pretty similar situation for 3 years, because I sublet 1 place, then lived in communal living for 3 months and subletted again for 1 1/2 years. It was my own decision to do that, rather than look for something permanent, but it was still hugely stressful. I can't imagine never having the security of a permanent rent contract. We don't have this 'lease' thing here. Once you are a proper renter, they can't kick you out without good reason.
And kicking people out with just a month or two worth of warning...🫣
naaah, why agonize for 6 months when a fire can be set under your butt for early resolution.
Had our landlord do that to us in 2021. Had 60 days to find a place. Didn't happen. Had to rely on the kindness of friends for a year before we finally found another rental.
Of course while that protects the person renting how does it protect the owner ? Whose to know that they might not be homeless without this house to live in. And two months notice is reasonably generous. But In a tight rental market it might not feel like it.
She's living in a single-family home - a house. Houses are not considered permanent rental properties like multi-family dwellings and the assumption is always made, under the law, that the owner of a house may one day want to return to their property. Multi-family dwellings are considered a business venture so, renters in multi-family dwellings in Los Angeles have much stronger rights than those living in single-family homes. Single-family homes are considered temporary rental properties being used by the owner for extra income, not as a rental business. For instance, If she were renting an apartment or duplex in the City of Los Angeles, built before 1978, and the owner wanted to occupy her unit, she would be entitled to substantial relocation assistance (major $$$) and lots of extra time to move out. But, since it is a single house on a single lot, her rights are limited because the owner has the right of owner-occupancy.
Your roller coaster analogy is SO on point! I'm so glad you were able to accept Matt's parents' generosity, and are going to be able to make the next place your own! Congratulations!!!
I hate the ones that make you go slow on a dog leg curve to show you what you're about to do to yourself lol
As a mom and grandmother and MIL, I would totally buy a house for my adult kids and their spouses, if I had the money. And they know it. So I am glad that you were able to accept your in-laws' offer, and that you have a house. I hope that your move goes as smoothly as possible, and you know better than I about how badly moves can go! BTW, my best friend inherited her mom's house (only child), but she had a house, so her son and his family live in Nonny's house, and actually pay her rent. But she is banking the rent, and when she passes, her son gets the house AND the rent plus interest, she has saved. Her daughter and spouse and 4 kids live with her, and they will inherit that house. Families take care of each other.
This is so true to remember and that culturally it's not bad for that to happen and also that you intend to do that for your children and grandchildren down the line it's expected and this new cultural you've got to leave home and you can never come back. Perspective is a trap by the financial community to make people feel less connected and less reliant on each other. Reliant is a great thing and having people care about you is important. We don't want to be tossed into nursing homes when we're older with no one visiting us, so it's important to remember to show your compassion and care for those who love you and for those you love. Congrats on the house and aren't you glad now that what you have and what you use is yours to build and or change as you see fit. So proud of you! So excited for you! Be blessed!
Amen! The Bible even lists an oft' ignored and/or forgotten blessing that a good father leaves an inheritance for his children's children...
This is my current worst fear and I'm so sorry you're going through it. We've lived in our rental house for 8 years and know that our landlord can sell it at any time, especially since its value has tripled in that time. We were looking to buy a house in early 2020, but decided to save for another year and then the pandemic happened and property values more than doubled and we've been priced out of all of the local areas. 😱
I just got to the end - congratulations! 🎉🎉
yeah, hear you.
Blame blackrock.
Congratulations! Also, I hope you can feel good about Matt's parents doing this. My grandparents did this for their daughter (my aunt). Thirty years later when they had died, she inherited her house and my dad inherited my grandparents' house (almost same value). In effect, my aunt received her inheritance early. I don't think parents should prevent their grown children from working and having purpose in life but also think it makes a lot of sense to not always wait until death for grown children to benefit from their future inheritance. You and Matt both have careers. You're in a start-up, so to speak, and new businesses usually have backers to help them get started. I work in a little private school that I love, but no one can really afford to work there who doesn't have a spouse supporting them and putting money away for both their retirements. Anyway, congratulations again on your offer being accepted. Fingers crossed that everything goes through. Thanks for your honesty about your process. It's what makes your channel so great. The shot of you face down on the floor was priceless.
I was about to say the same thing. I'd do the same for my kids if I could.
Disclaimer: I love in New Zealand... but my mum is currently in the process of doing this - my fiancé and I have moved into mum's house and are effectively buying my sister's half - and my mum has moved into my sister's home as (sis) is going through a traumatic divorce and has a 7 year old. So mum is being a live-in nana and housekeeper for my sister, my sister gets to buy her husband out of their house, and my fiancé and I get to buy a house which we were not in a position to so.... win, win, win!!
Our lawyers and finance people are all saying they are seeing more and more of it and that they're glad people don't have to die to help out family, and get to see their hard work helping those they love. It's so good
very cool story, with such a great ending!
My MIL freed up some of the money that my hubby would eventually inherit so that our daughter could put down a deposit for the flat that she’s now bought. She also loaned us the money to pay off the remaining part of our mortgage after we were informed that our endowment mortgage would come nowhere close to paying the amount owed once the endowment finished. Thanks to her, we have been mortgage free for over ten years, and so able to save for our daughter’s inheritance.
My spouse and I bought our first little house with his VA mortgage benefit. When we were able to move, 20 years later, his mother gave us a very large down payment for a bigger house (that needed SO much work, still working on it 20+ years later!) so she could live with us. She was getting frail and losing her sight, so her generosity was for both her and us. Caring for her was a blessing to me, as she was a very sweet, shy woman. (I could not have done this for FIL, or my own mother. Own father? Yes, if he had ever quit smoking.) But anyway, families should take care of each other. The "nuclear family" is a modern concept: we always lived in multi-generational homes until after WW 2.
It's a mark of your integrity that you recognize the privledge they are offering you. In return you are giving them, the great gift of allowing them to help in making sure you're safe, happy and have a bright future. It's a hard thing to curb your independence but a much easier thing to acceot love. -Perspective of a 70 year old.
I totally understand what you feel about accepting such an offer. During college I worked and went to school full time, accepting anything would mean I couldn't do it. Your personal convictions are for self sufficiency and not everyone has those same convictions (and that's ok!), so others might not see the big deal. But it feels like you've failed in your personal convictions when accepting a generous gift. It's hard to remember that it's not a failure to accept help sometimes
OMG! You just read my mind...
Sometimes it is difficult to accept help. I also have that proud feeling in me and that help, although it is helping, it feels also like it's kicking you in your bump... I have been in similar circumstances and taking the help also makes you learn. I took tons of help from my parents when I got divorced and now, after the pandemic ruined my father's business, it was me helping them. It made me realize that family is one of the best inventions EVER and luckily for me, I have a great one.
My husband died, and I lived in 4 houses in the first 3 years after his death. My parents got tired of moving me.... They bought me a home... Be kind , his parents evidently love you both , and want to solve this problem.... So , be grateful for their love... and enjoy your new home....as long as they allow you to pick it out....
It is hard to accept help sometimes, but it's a sign of maturity to be able to do it. Goid luck with the new house!!!
I totally understand your situation, literally, in the same situation. I found a hoodie the other day you will appreciate... it said, "A MIXTURE OF SPOILED AND I'LL GET IT MY DAMN SELF" 😂😂 (my in laws live in Santa Barbara)
Oh my gosh, I understand the struggle. I'm proud of you for taking the step even with how hard it is.
I'm in a similar situation. After 14 yrs in my current place, the rent is almost doubling, and it is still one of the lower rents around, but I can no longer afford it. So now I have no choice but to sell off most of my possessions and move in with family overseas. Because I am no longer able to work and am not a citizen of that country I will have no income and will become entirely dependent on the charity of family for everything. From total independence, to total dependence on others. It is gut wrenching.
I normally don't like videos where people drone, but I really enjoy your quirky personality! Thanks for sharing
As someone who has occasionally admitted that they are perhaps "problematically independent," I hear your internal conflict loud and clear. Accepting help can be so dang difficult sometimes
"Who promoted me to adult?" I think we all feel that way. XD I certainly feel like I'm faking it all the time.
Thank you for your honesty, I am now a new subscriber and I cannot believe I have found you with this video, I was also very independent and my in laws have also bought our house for us, it is not easy to get over, I am 2 years in and still feel like I am a renter. I hope your adventure works out for you.
I am also in the same position where my husband is very supportive with my art and me being an artist, how do we find gratitude and balance in ourselves?
I will be keeping an eye on how you make the best of this situation as it is very comforting to know you are out there, and making content and sharing the real side of life with absolute strangers helping to give people like me strength knowing I am not alone in these types of adventures.
Thank you again for sharing. ❤
That really sucks. We just bought a house and my husband got laid off. It's been a struggle to afford, but I'm grateful we have the house, and aren't going to have to worry about getting kicked out like this. Hope we can all get off this rollercoaster soon
"Who promoted me to Adult?" Ooh, I feel that hard. I'm often heard saying "Who the hell gave me a mortgage?" when I fail at some very basic part of adulting that you'd think I should have a handle on after being on this rock nearly half a century (eek). Our house hunt began almost 20 years ago, when the apartment we were in was continually infested with cockroaches and since I was the one complaining and during an inspection, I had a stack of empty egg cartons waiting to be taken to a friend's farm, the landlord decided it was us "causing" the problem (it wasn't, the exterminator said they were all up and down the vertical, following the water pipes but that the family above us failed to understand that cockroaches are not a given, but the landlord's poliy was to only treat the unit that complained plus all units adjacent to it instead of treating the whole column), and tried the "we need you out in two months so we canupgrade your unit" bullshit, which I called them on and told them I would leave when I was darn good and ready or they'd be hearing from my lawyer. I think we looked at stuff in our meagre price range for two weeks and ended up buying the first place we looked at.
I hope everything goes well with the house, and best wishes for THE MOST BORING MOVE EVER. A boring move is a good move.
Eviction happened to me also. The landlord was a couple until the husband died and then the wife decided to evict me so she could downsize her dwelling and rent out her larger unit for more monthly income. Home ownership prevents this from happening, along with rent increases. I had to move to an area away from extended family so that I could afford to buy, but am really happy in my own place in a neighborhood with nice neighbors. Congratulations - I wish you the best!!
You bought a house with a pool in LA!!! It seems that getting kicked out was the best thing that could happen to you. Congratulations!
You're going to be ok! Landlord probably got the rug pulled out from under them too. Home ownership really is the best option, everyone needs a little help now and then. Congrats on the opportunity!! Seriously, you are going to be ok.
Landlord will pay WAY less taxes when selling on a house they live in than the house they rent out. So it’s fairly common to “move back in” for 2 years before a sale.
There are so many ways a house can get destroyed or lose its value, it’s still a big jump to open one’s purse to that extent.
I’ve just watched a documentary about wind turbines-the ginormous ones-ruining the life quality of any nearby residences in the French countryside, so that houses become practically impossible to sell, they are even un-rentable for even short stays, and there’s reason to think that once the locals have finished aging and dying in their homes, no one will come to repopulate. One man has spent his early years of retirement renovating a barn into a cozy cottage, with his own sweat and savings, thinking it would be the home in which to age comfortably. Oh well.
I’ve also worked in real estate management for a couple of months, and I’ve come to understand that lots of home owners (esp. those who inhabit their own property) have a lot to lose if the building is ill-managed (by themselves, or an agency)….
@@mariajaujou I'm not so sure about that. I'm in Toronto (Canada) and know a guy in my neighbourhood that had to pay capital gains tax when he changed for live-in to rental; and again when he changed the house from rental to live-in. (Note: capital gains tax is something like 50% of change in house value since last change of live-in/rent)
@@leamubiu yeap, I travel for work to remote areas. Know a wind turbine is near when I start getting a head ache. crazy that.
Well they should have never been a landlord if they didnt wanna face the karma for it
As someone who is considering renting out my house while I am temporarily elsewhere. Your story underscores my conviction that I will be fully transparent with any tenants about the limits of their rental period from the start. I am so sorry that you experienced such short notice.
Unrelated, so glad to see the cherry fabric blouse actually being worn!
We searched for 7 years for a house in California where my husband is from (6th or 7th generation )and we lived for nearly 30 years. We looked at 100’s of houses, put bids in etc……nothing.
Then looked atone house with big property in Texas and voila. 30 day escrow, lived here for over 5 years now and loving it.
We are retired so it doesn’t matter where we live now.
Enjoy your new and first house.
Well, that was a kick in the gut! But so, so happy that you could accept Matt's parent's generous offer and found a house!! No more moving after this one. Can't wait to see the move and the new place and watch you settle in. And bring on the projects! Big Hugs and Congrats!
Congratulations on your new home!!! I'm writing this while waiting to hear back from my real estate agent regarding the bid we made on a house. Our third choice didn't work out because the sellers wanted a 90 day closing which would mean that we and all our stuff would be homeless for 2 months (we've already sold our home). Our second choice didn't work out because we found out it was the scene of a double homicide. First choice turned out to be completely riddled with carpenter ants. Needless to say that I've booked several more showings for this weekend just in case this fourth choice results in a bidding war that we can't win because the housing market in Toronto is insane. I wish you many many many years of stability and happiness in your new home. And cross your fingers for me! 😁
Wherever you buy in the GTA, Natalie, you at least you don't have to worry about earthquakes. 😲😱
@@noraleestone2859 so true! Thank goodness for that at least.😁
You have the coolest in-laws. Your husband will inherit from them at the end anyway, so say thank you and breath. I'd give anything to have such an opportunity. I have no prospect of buying. Not even a dollhouse.
My husband and I had to pick a house to buy in another state in 3 days (his company would pay for ONE house-hunting trip....and we couldn't afford to pay for any!). Pro tip: choose a name/label for each house. Take pictures and of things you like and don't like for each house WHILE YOU ARE THERE. Trust me, when you see that many in a day they all run together and you can't keep them straight. Praying you find a good fit for you!
Hurray! I'm glad you decided to accept your in-laws' generosity! Best of luck in your home hunting.
I bought my first house at 22. Lucky me, even if it was a fixer upper. At 69 I have bought and sold 36 houses. Everytime a realtor calls to list, I check the market and stay here in the mountains.
I am glad your inlaws can and want to help.
The personal conflict dilemma monologue at the 8 min mark is so relateable to me. My in-laws helped us out with our statewide move for work. And they love to take the kids almost every weekend for a day or a sleepover whenever possible. But I get those same feelings as you. I want us to be self sufficient and not lean on them or anyone else. Even when my dad offers to help us out with groceries once in a while I still internally cringe. So I get what you're saying. You're not alone.
It's very hard being financially beholden to others. Last year I finished grad school and needed to apply for jobs, except the major cell networks had decided to make my phone obsolete. No longer a phone. I had been in school during covid and barely able to work, so I had no savings to buy a phone that would enable me to answer calls from prospective employers. My partner offered to buy me a new phone because I needed one and he makes a ton of money. We had a fight about it, I cried a lot, but I got over myself and accepted his offer. Now I have a job I like and am getting a raise soon. A house is obviously a different order of magnitude entirely, but accepting that generosity is the right choice. You will have stability and safety and new opportunities in a new home. It may feel bad or uncomfortable now, but as time passes that will probably ease. Part of having relationships with other people is letting them in to help us when it's necessary! Otherwise there's no point having a support network. Even if that can be really hard.
I feel you, I’m going for my masters and so we are living off my husbands income. He is amazing and supports me 100% but I can’t help but feel guilty. I’ve communicated it to him and he hugs me, I adore him.
Congratulations on your new home. I hope it all works out beautifully. How amazingly fortunate that Matt's parents were able to help.
Oh man, finding a house to buy or rent in LA is just insane. I had tk give up the search and move back in with my parents after my apt complex decided to raise the rent anually by 200 dollars. I just said, "sike! You thought! Goodbye! Loving here for 3 years isnt enough time for me to be paying almost 3k for a 2 bed 2 bath. Goodbye."
I'm so happy for you! Best of luck with the move out/in!
8:53 i feel this so much
And then i got sick. I got ovarian cancer in my 30’s that created a nervous system disorder called Hyperadrenergic POTS. Its barely treatable, its incurable, and leaves me bedridden 90% of every day. I know this video is old. But if you ever get offer like that, its time to swallow the pride. Right now, we are trying to avoid eviction because we have no where to go, no money to move and cannot afford the rents in the area anymore (we’ve been here 10 years). Im actually scared because i am UNABLE to pack. I am UNBLE to move even if we had a free house or apt to move to. Our fundraiser is stalled, everyone is broke and still helped. I will forever be grateful to every single one of them. But unless something drastic happens, we are out on the streets. So imm screaming at the screen TAKE THE HELP lol for those of us who don’t have that kind of help.
You say you didn’t win the lottery BUT YOU DID. You are winning a house! A HOME! I am so happy for you! 💕
So.. the important question.. is it closer or further from Remainders?
I was just about to ask that. 🤣 Surely the most important house feature.
I've thought about casual rental house touring to get out of the house and get exercise walking around and exploring a new house that I won't live in.
I was renting a house from a couple we went to church with. Out of no where one day we got a text letting us know that a real estate agent would be coming by to look at the house on said date. We where kind of shocked. Turns out they where planning to sell the house. We ended up with a month to find and move into a new place. Somehow we managed to do it in 2 weeks and the landlord paid our first month's rent to our new place. And in the end, it turns out they moved into that house and sold the one they where living in. I totally stressed cried, and I stressed screamed on the back dark into the pitch blackness of night at 1AM. We had also planned to stay put until we could buy as well.
Back in my second year of college, we got the notice that our rental of 8 years was being sold and we would not be allowed to renew our lease. Okay. What added to that bit of news was the added fun that both my parents and my autistic brother were disabled and on Section 8 sudsidized housing. Long story short, my parents looked into down payment assistance, a section 8 to home ownership program, and three years later, my parents bought a house and paid far less per month than the rent on their dinky transitional apartment. It's not a great house but there's no lease to expire.
Wish you the best in all your moving, because I could not fathom having to move on a deadline again. I like to think of it as "renting from your landlords, except they're your relatives" as I'm currently, uh, "renting a room" in my parents' house until the rental market cools its jets.
I bought a house about two years ago and I can say your feelings are absolutely normal. I definitely did not few qualified to be a homeowner, but I’ve settled in and it finally feels like mine. Having a dedicated sewing room was a huge bonus for me. I can’t wait to see how you set up your new sewing space. It’s going to be great!
Congratulations and I hope it all goes smoothly for you. How lovely that Matta parents made this generous offer but also that you managed to come to terms with it and accept it. It will give them a lot of joy to watch you both make a lovely home and be settled, so much nicer than leaving an inheritance and never seeing the joy that the gift brings. You can now paint and make curtains that are not temporary , what fun you will have. Looking forward to seeing the new place. I joined due to your embroidery videos but you have inspired me to dust off the sewing machine and create again so thank you. (I nearly gave the machine away).
I’m sincerely sorry this happened to you. We got out of the LA market 2 years ago and sold a home we had been renting for the past 15 years. Here’s why. LA county decided to expand the areas under rent control about 3 years ago and placed our property under rent control.
However, before that, when the pandemic started, we received notice that landlords could not raise the rent on a rental property in the county until one year after the pandemic was declared over. So starting in 2020 we were no longer able to raise the rent. We didn’t feel this would be too much of a burden until we discovered this did not extend to the LA county tax assessor. The taxes on the property were increased every year starting in 2020 until we sold it 2 years later by a significant amount because ‘the homes value had increased.” Lucky us.
LA county also began requiring that we file with them every year identifying the renters and how much they were paying. Meanwhile we began spending significant money on repairs-not sure why, but it is what it is.
We didn’t know if or when the pandemic would be declared over and decided to cut our losses and sold the house. Our tenants were upset, but had opted for a month to month lease so we gave them 2 months notice and let them stay a third month because someone caught Covid. We never viewed the rent as our profit. The house had been one we lived in before we moved due to job relocation and had hoped to move back or sell it after retirement. But LA county threw a wrench in that.
I’m sorry for those renting in the area because I’m sure we were not the only ones faced with the option to begin/keep losing money or get out. We had many offers and opted to sell to a lovely retired couple over an investment bank, so there’s that. Congrats on the house, hope you live a long happy life together there!
Home ownership is such a joy and a headache, but the joy moments outweigh the headaches for me. I love the stability and freedom.
This is my situation too. I only had about 1/4 of the down payment for my house saved and my parents helped with the rest. Feels like a bit of a ball & chain, but it's safety and security for my family. That's so important too! Congratulations!
i am glad you are coming to peace with this choice... as a girl who like you, i was fiercely proud and independent until i was i forced otherwise due to life - it took me a long time (too long) to realize - oooh i paid my dues for 2 decades working harder than anyone i knew, that it is ok my health slowed me down and forced me to accept help - that it wasn't a failure of me, but the universe's way of balancing out my whole life by swinging the pendulum the full other way before settling in the middle - if that makes some sense - and i promise you will realize in hindsight that this gift of a home came to you BECAUSE of all your hard work not despite it 😊 congratulations!!
Moving as much as i have, sell mostly everything, less to actually move with extra money on hand.
yea, if I had less I would be in a better state to move to home ownership. true that!
I have a suggestion for you: start writing yourself a book or booklet (ebook). Something about sewing independently of a pattern. You can put it in all your posts, and once you've made it, it's sort of free-of-effort for you.
So much cool architecture! My husband and I bought his grandparent's house when they had to move into a memory care facility. They knew ahead of time that we wanted the house whenever they were done with it and did so much maintenance for us so that we would have an easier time when they moved in. They said for new flooring, new windows, a new roof, a new water heater, and had all the rooms painted. And then his parents, who took over as legal guardians when his grandparents were unable to make legal decisions, let us live in it rent free for several months until we saved up enough for a down payment. And then they sold it to us for a little less than market value during COVID when the interest rates were super low. So even though we weren't gifted the actual house, we were gifted years without needing any major home improvements and the easiest house buying experience ever. His grandparents are the ones who built the house and are the only ones to ever live here so they were so excited we wanted it, and so appreciative of my husband living with them for years to help take care of them until they had to move out. Not only is the house perfect for us, but it comes with a lifetime of wonderful memories of my husband growing up. I will forever be grateful for the caring and generous family I got along with my wonderful husband
I understand your struggle in accepting the offer. If it offers you some solace and perspective: housing was never a question of individual independence. That is very much a 1950s idea of the nuclear family (husband-wife-2 kids) with the husband providing it all. Housing has always been a multi-generational affair (much like family and child rearing actually). My own parents got their first house through financial support of my mother's parents. In today's economy, affording housing on 1 or 2 incomes is less and less realistic: it is made to be unrealistic through inflation and wage gutting, especially so in LA. So don't feel bad! Money is meant to be spent and it's normal for parents with the means to want to support their children. I know I would do anything in my capacity to support my children.
Congratulations! My in-laws bought each of their 3 children their first house. My husband and I chose a condo and lived in it for 10 years. Then my in-laws moved to Florida and we all bought a house together.
I totally understand your emotions about having your in laws buy a house. Have a frank conversation with them. You can also pay them rent or buy the house from them on a land contract basis so they basically just finance the purchase for you. Options but that also depends on your relationship with them. Congrats one way or the other! 🎉
I do wish there was a prospective neighbor interview process. Nothing particularly formal, but just a casual coffee or tea in folding chairs. 9 times out of 10, neighbors are good people, and everything is fine. It is hard to break the ice with everyone living their own life and schedules.
I've just discovered your channel recently (after following your embroidery art elsewhere for quite some time), but I've just learned so much. Working on cruise ships?? But it also explains questions about your sweet puppy being away, Matt coming and going from Europe, etc.
House hunting is so stressful. Thank goodness for Matt's parents! (Totally understand this as well, having also been self-sufficient and on my own until getting married at 30 and having generous in-laws). Congrats on the impending house, and good luck with moving!
I found your channel last week after going down a swooshy skirt rabbit hole, and I love your personality! ❤ Thank you so much for telling your genuine story!
Regarding some non-making content for while the house is turned upside down, would you be interested in making a 'what I've learned' style video regarding fabric types, and effect on swoosh? As someone getting into making things I feel very underinformed on it
Nothing wrong with accepting help from parents or parents in law, unless they're 'difficult' in some way.
Our generation has it way harder when it comes to home ownership, then previous ones. It's not our fault or shortcoming. And besides... it's 'paying it forward' in a way. Who knows, in what way you will have to be there for them or take care of them in the future. And I'm not talking about 'obligations, because' here. You're a good person and I'm sure, you'd do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done, regardless. Because they're family. And so do they.
So congratulations 👏👏👏
Hope you will live a long and happy life there!
As a mommy with some $$$, I am always looking to buy my son a house since it will make it a lot easier on him in "the end". It will bring me great joy to do that for him. He is happily renting and living with his girlfriend but if I find something he would like, I be on it. Just enjoy! You'll still be independant.
I feel you so much about how hard it is to allow yourself to accept help. Eventually, I was forced to realize that money is just a tool, and it’s self defeating to not use every tool available to you, even if it is a loaner or a gift. ❤
Awwww! Can I come over and help you fold fabric? I'm great at packing, too, having also been a serial renter. It does present an excellent opportunity to pare down one's "stuff" (which never includes fabric!!). Deep breaths! You can do it and I hope the posting of all of it helps you cope. Your sterling, wry sense of humor will get you through, and we're all pulling for you!
i love your independence. i'm the same way. but please know that no single individual unless they're born wealthy is a match for real estate markets in places like l.a. or n.y., especially when they need more than, say, a 600 square feet studio apartment. please know that it can be a real gift on your part to receive graciously what's being offered to you and that you'll pay it back or forward as you can. this gift could be a boon for your mental and physical health, i am sure. and also please know that whatever YOU decide will be the RIGHT decision (i.e., don't listen to us rando strangers on the internetz). :)
Oh, and I guess this means you get to do sewing room decorating videos all over again!!! 😂 And another curtain series… (please don’t leave them your beautiful curtains!) I hope there’s a lot of floor 😂
I totally understand how hard it can be to accept help. Accepting help means you need it because you can't do it yourself, which means you're vulnerable, so accepting help = being vulnerable, which is really scary!
I know all about the being self-sufficient overly-proud thing. And the pressure of making all the decisions. It's hard, really hard. And taking the time to do what you love, is equally important for your own well-being and mental self-care. I wish you all the best in the move to what sounds like will be a great forever home.
My parents signed for my first house with me when I was 25, and a newly solo mum with 3 kids. I had a good job and income and a bit of money, but because I was on my own the banks wouldn't touch me, and because I was a mum on my own in the rental market of those times no one would rent to me. So my folks helped me buy a house. Fast forward 5 years, and my folks and I both sold our properties and bought a place together. Bigger property, a little ways out of the city, with two houses on it, one for me and my kids (bigger, as my first home was little) and a nice little place for my parents, who were ready to downsize. It's worked out brilliantly. Now, another 8 years on, I am re-married and have had 2 more kids, my big house fits us all in and I have been able to support my parents as my mum's health gradually declines. I have full intentions of supporting my kids in the same way as the housing market here (New Zealand) is also pretty atrocious.
I just wanted to share that as it's really hard to get ahead in these modern times, and I think there is nothing wrong with using privilege if you have it, as long as you recognise it is a privilege (which you say 🙂). I also was fiercely independent and wanted to support my kids on my own and so when I was 25 and on the brink of living in my car with the kids because we just couldn't find a house, swallowing my pride to accept my parent's help was really really hard and I felt really ashamed about it for a long time. But as I have gotten older I have instead become immensely grateful that this opportunity was available to me, so few people are this lucky. Pay it forward in little ways as you can, and enjoy your new home :-D
This happened to my daughter’s family a year ago - in LA. They had lived in that house for more than 10 years. They now live in Sylmar. Keep your chill and your chin up. You can do this.
ALWAYS take your time to greet the neighbors before signing any papers. Visit the neighborhood it in the early morning, afternoon and especially at night and weekend (you'll find the late night partiers and arguers). Bring a friend so you can get their opinion on people.
Knock on the door and tell them you're interested in the house that is for sale and ask questions about the neighborhood, schools, If possible.... look into the history of the address/ deed if possible (may be available online).
Make sure you get your new house professionally inspected for mold. I cannot overstate how important this could be
10 years ago I and my husband purchased a new to us much larger home with a pool. Our grandchildren were still in school and living at home so visited often using the pool and spending the night. Each kid had their own room and at Christmas the family would come and spend the night. Now they have grown moved away and we have few visitors now. Houses have gone up so much that although this home is much larger than we need it is cheaper to stay than to move. Houses half the size are 100-150K more than we paid and since we are seniors with frozen property taxes if we moved our taxes would be frozen at the much higher rate of the new house.
I've been through this a couple of times so far as well. My roommate and my first two homes we rented dropped bombshells on us that they were selling the property and thus we had to find somewhere else and get out with barely a month or two's notice if we were lucky... Thankfully this latest home has allowed us 3 years so far.
"i have no idea what I'm doing"
Samesies. We're all just really large children out here trying to figure shit out and none of it really makes sense. 😂
Good luck on the moving! I'm with you on how stressful it is.
Totally understand all your feelings on this, I was the same (inlaws gave us a very generous amount towards the house) and whilst I wanted to be that strong independent woman I also realised that I have worked hard so why not take this *opportunity* that presented itself to put us in a much better place where we could be a bit more choosy about our work arrangements and live the life we actually wanted. Glad you found something and good luck with the packing!
Hope things get better and congratulations on finding your new house hop your happy there we had our house 7 years in Loon Lake Washington
I feel your pain!! At age 74 my husband and I have moved 30+ times in 40 yrs. He’s in the restaurant business….. believe me, the fun disappeared many yrs ago. Good luck to you! You sound very Southern, maybe move to Southern US?😂
I have bought a few houses in my time, one thing walk around the block ( now you can do it on maps). If you like a house visit the neighbourhood at different times of day. If you can talk to neighbours. Take notes and photos, it's amazing what will show up in photos that your eye misses.
Good luck.
I am so sorry to hear this... My Husband & I were also given Notice about 4 - 5 weeks ago that our Landlord wants the house back to do renovations that are not possible while we are living here... this is following on from moving in nearly 2 years ago and the last Tenants must not have reported any Maintenance issues and we have had almost non-stop Maintenance Contractors that have attended the house as a constant stream since moving in. I haven't enjoyed living in this house at all due to constant maintenance issues to attend to, in a 12 year old house, it makes me wonder if the house was built on the builder-basic cheap.
I am also a long-term Renter and moving after just 2 years is my shortest Tenancy ever... I am also reeling over the senseless waste of money in moving house and never getting ahead when it costs $5,000 and more to move house. I empathise for it being fun when you are young but gets harder as we get older. 🙏💞
get a pod to pack,,store and deliver when u r ready. super convenient
Congratulations 🎉,
So very happy for you both!!! Glad you got your new home within the time frame you needed ❤❤❤
From 18-32 I moved every pretty much too….it sucked (and we had a couple kids) everything always seemed to be stacked against us…then the stars finally allied and we fell into being able to buy a home! Sometimes all the sucky stumbling blocks sometimes works towards something better!
I saw a total of 33 houses before deciding on the one house that I now own, and that too I found myself online and asked my real estate agent to arrange an open house for that.
Just recently ran across your channel, what ever CZcams are, and I love it. Been Bing watching ever since. You remind me of myself and I so enjoy your journey. B&B is my all time favorite. Anyway I'm sure you are being given tons of advice on you situation so I thought I'd throw mine into the ring. Enjoy the gift and remember you can always choose to pay back as you go, nothing says you can't. However as one who would have died for some assistance along the way, except it with the love it is being offered and enjoy that gift of not having to pack up and move. Also fences make great neighbors. Love what you provide for entertainment. Your sewing attemps make me laught and remind me of my early days. I'm 78 so been there, done it. Good luck, please keep going strong and may the spirits support you and Matt. ❤
I very much understand the struggle of accepting a gift like that. I had a similar dilemma when my in laws wanted to gift us a car. My situation was a little more murky though because of a strained relationship with our gifters.
You work hard, this is the reward for your hard work.
I am so very the same! I like to do things for myself and if I can't do it then it doesn't happen, however I have since learnt, it's OK to ask for help and it's also OK to accept kind offers. It doesn't make you any less capable or self sufficient.
People wouldn't offer to help if they didn't want to!
I'm so glad you found something so quickly. And stability. Look at it that way, a landlord can't decide to move into the house or sell it out from under you. And the LA market is so crazy, if you ever need to move somewhere else for work, getting a house somewhere else will be very affordable. I live in San Jose and a homeowner for 40 years so I understand.
Enjoy the New House! You get to decorate! Yeah?
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences so honestly. Its not easy to do so but so many of us have these same experiences and it helps to know we arent alone in it.
Yep, the upside of renting is you can leave if the term is up ... Or you can get told to leave.
I totally understand the state of mind. My husband and I have moved 22 times, due to work. Too many good and bad stories to tell. But the weight of looking, finding, packing, moving, unpacking is large. Start packing now with the less used items; promise yourself a cupboard, a drawer, a shelf a day.
Self sufficiency is hard to relinquish. Finding the humility to let go can be a challenge. Be kind to yourself. A little at a time.
Btw, love the smooth lounge jazz over the crazy house hunt montage!
I totally understand feeling a bit conflicted about Matt's parents helping out to buy a house - I come from the other end of things where I've always felt dependent on others and so want to make sure I learn how to be independent - and accepting help like that would feel like regression to me, even though it probably isn't the most logical feeling. It's fair to feel grateful and happy for the circumstances but anxious about the impact it has on you. I'm very much looking forward to the moving/making the space your own-videos :D
We had the same thing happen in September. We did have a 7 months notice, thankfully.
I feel your pain! We have moved 10 times in the last 20 years with 3 autistic kids! Rentals are a nightmare and we can’t afford to buy. We are in Cornwall in the UK and housing is all been bought up for holiday homes - last year we were homeless for 7 months 😖
Understand that decision pressure. I did the same thing 12 years ago when we bought this house, with it's pepto bismol bathroom and all.
I know where you are, I have been in that situation in the past. I have lived all over the world with my father and mother, now I am settled in the UK again and never moving again. Good luck with the house hunt. Look for a big craft room!
I think it's very good and natural for you to consider these things. Being able to take care of yourself economically is incredibly important, even in a stable and loving relationship.
After we decided to buy our house my foster dad gave us a good chunk of the money for it, with the caveat that we should have a good think about accepting it. We did think about it and did accept it, which made our monthly mortgage payment a lot lower. But these kinds of transactions do have an impact on the relationship you have with the giver. A good one, in our case, but it's still a change you have to be comfortable with!
Very happy for both of you that you found a house you're happy with :) :)
It's really hard to adjust when going through blissfully unaware... And boom. Life is full of these times. 😆
Yay!! 🎉
I feel your dread, though. I just did my second solo move in two years and it’s horrid. Landing somewhere that’s yours, though, is priceless.
Well, congrats on the house, and it is wonderful that Matt's parents can do this for you.
It is really scary, but you'll be okay, we've got your back, figuratively speaking.
The house with the arch with brick, I think I saw on an episode of House Hunters. 😉
Ouch that is a super tight time frame. I'm glad you found a great gem.
I completely understand your hesitation. I would be the same way. It is hard to feel like you aren't self-sufficient anymore and have to rely on other people.
Gifts also aren't always free and sometimes come with strings, and I am always suspicious/worried about that, too.
I'm in New Zealand so a different housing market (although we have a massive housing crisis here) but with every single one of our rentals (we are too poor to own and short of winning the lottery, probably never will sadly) I have asked if the rental was long term. Every time they said yes, and yet multiple times we've had a landlord want to sell or move in after 12-18 months. 🤦♀ For one of them, I was 41 weeks pregnant when we received the notice. Since the laws changed here slightly (oh so slightly) we've been in our current rental for 4 years now. But even with FINALLY having a nice landlord, it is a worry I ALWAYS have in the back of my mind. It sucks so bad! I am always so envious of other countries that have right to life rentals. Almost like housing is a human right or something. We've twice had in-laws offer to buy for us and both times it fell through. So while I totally hear you on having a hard time accepting generosity like that, at least it's a foot in the door! I truly hope it works out wonderfully for you and you won't have to play renting roulette any more!
Sorry you will likely be doing most of the packing. I was sort of lucky that we moved in a couple of chunks. We got me and our cats to the new state, and then my husband flew back to have our other car transported, a moving company pack up our stuff, and junk removal at our storage unit and house. I had lots to do as well, and the cats would have been distressed to lose both parents for a couple of weeks.
I like the irony of your cup saying "joy" during this video