What Amazing Comebacks Have You Heard Come Out of Nowhere? - Reddit Podcast
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About the story with the german fan, NEVER do this, never blame or joke in front of them about the world wars exept they've made clear they can take that kind of humor. My people are extremely sensitive to that. And never call them a nazi. It's the worst insult we have here, even worse then wishing someone death.
Honestly. That "for which World war" guy really was out of line. Most of us weren't even born when that happened.
When I was 26, I was accosted by a group of teenage boys outside my house, one of them, in an attempt to look like a big shot said "My dad says you're gay!" His mates chuckled at this sad attempt at throwing shade, so I looked him square in the eye and replied, "You should ask him how he knows!" His mates found this pants-wettingly funny, and were cheerfully mocking him as I continued on my way. 21 years has passed since then, but I still smile when I remember this.
Story 9 was absolutely hilarious. It had me dying of laughter. đ
Ive seen that guy
He does these witty combacks to people ALL the dang time for his showes
I remember when I was probably 6 at the end of class and the teacher got angry at me because I wasn't packing my supplies fast enough.
"Hurry up!" She said, and I just annoying replied,"Don't get your panties in a wad!" The teacher left the room immediately. I heard later she quickly left the room so I wouldn't see or hear her laughing at what I said. I heard she laughed for almost 6 minutes.đ Yes, what happened was discussed with my mom, and my mom admitted I had learned that phrase from her. Because she said it to me all the time when I was upset. đ€Ł
I brought my friend to homeboy's house and dude complained that I'm overweight, and, he wanted an entourage of muscular guys, etc. So I said "Ha, you wanna be surrounded by a buncha buff dudes." My friend laughed hard, and, later he said "You got him GOOD!"
This happened in high school. This snot would get onto me about my taste in fashion even though it was common knowledge among my peers that my family was financially struggling. This is what she said to me:
Chick: You look like you got dressed in the dark.
Em: You look like your dad dressed you.
That was something she didn't expect. Weeks later she used the same line on me.
My response: Does your dad still dress you?
She left me alone after that
Gamers with kids probably have the funniest comebacks at the unapproving parents at their kids schoolđ€Łđ€Ł
Never mess with the quiet kids, otherwise your face will be smashed into a wall
Had a colleague state his âwangâ looks masdive in his hand;
I replied, âYeah, but you got tiny hands!â, without missing a beat lol
While working in a group two kids were going back and forth with insults and one kid guys tells another kid why do you wear that necklace around your chin, the other kid started to stammer and I sent him to his room and told him he was doneâŠ
Back when I was a MP I was getting roasted by a another dude because of how I talked on the radio. He was trying to imitate me at one point and I just said âand this is my impression of you on the radioâ and just stood there quietly, his buddy slowly caught on and started laughing while he just stood there and mumbled âI talk on the radioâ!
When I was in 2nd grade there was this kid who called me âbutthole fingerâ in after school, so I told my mom and she told the principal. I didnât want to tell the after school teachers because they were mean and I didnât trust them much. One day me and the kid were sent to the principalâs office without the teachers knowing why. When I came back one of the teachers asked why and I said he was calling me mean names. Next thing I know Iâm getting yelled at for not telling them and then after telling the other teacher they had a whole speech about how they could talk to them about that stuff to the entire 25 kids there and were angry at me for not. Another time one had asked me why I was eating lemon slices for snack, and my response was I didnât like the crap they call âsnacksâ there and hadnât brought any from home, so I ate the only thing left in my lunch box. They had said it loud enough to where all the rest of the boys there that day backed me up. I had great friends there but not very good administration.
17:37 what a vile thing to say to a parent. His mouth is filthy in two ways now.
I had a comeback ready once... I meet my boss daughter at the store and when I said that was going home to take a shower and eat she asked what I was going to eat. I just said "food" to that one with a smirk on my face. I had waited for that one!
Story 22 nearly had me in stitches laughing so hard đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
"Sphinctersayswhat"
"Yes, you do"
She didn't understand until after I crossed the street and traffic started flowing again.
Story 5 had me dying (both stories)
At line in the grocery and noticed a customer with a HUGE pack of toilet paper. I said, well it looks like you got a lot of shit goin' down
Iâm dying laughing â ïžđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łâ ïž
Working retail I am patiently waiting for the day that some wannabe asks me if he can try on the condoms in the fitting room. I have my comeback ready "You don't need to. We don't sell extra small."
I was once reading the comments of a video where someone insulted the ship in it where I told them âthen donât watch it if you donât like it?â And they said it was gross (as it was a LGBTQ ship), and as part of the community, I called them a, and I quote, âDecrepit spiny lumpsuckerâ
These are hilarious
Is it hungry shark evolution?
"self deleted". bored panda should learn from this
Hello im here
Here I'm hello
Story 35 i would have wanted to say "harder Daddy" that would soon stop him
here is a story of my own: one time I hit the griddy so well that Lebron James called the FBI on me (I was 69 seconds old at the time) and out of nowhere, 420 helicopters were chasing after me. i swiftly dodged a nuke that was launched at me by the president and the shockwave exploded all of the helicopters except one and the person flying it said over the loudspeaker âYouâre too good at mewing!â after that I farted and the planet exploded, I then grabed the fabric of the universe and reconstructed the planet and now everything is better. (this is a very real story and I would appreciate if you took it seriously in the comments)
Thank you for your service đđ
Nefarlouss
What game is this
Maneater I belive
thĂšlast one
Anyone else notice Sheldon from Young Sheldon on the cover?
Lololololol