ranking the tortured poets department based on vibes and DELUSION
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- čas přidán 13. 04. 2024
- well divas here we are...we're less than a WEEK away from the release of Taylor Swift's brand new, 11th studio album the tortured poets department!! with the track lengths finally in my sweaty little hands, I have entered a new era of delusion....join me today as I rank all of the tortured poets songs based on vibes alone, and pure delusion.
here's the vibe check playlist I created: open.spotify.com/playlist/21Q...
Don't be a stranger!
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analyzing tracks purely based off their titles and track numbers is the level of delusion i strive for
i am the King of Delusion
agreed
@@theswiftologistdid you hear about the zach who lives in DELUSION
“ I haven’t changed, you just read me wrong “ and I will be stealing this, thank you
💜 Grateful for this line - I'll be sure to repeat it. 💙🖤🤍
Right? Between this and "I am the girl I've always been" (OR) we've been fed with quotes about clarifying who you are when people push their own narrative about your identity and ideas about the messages you intended to send on you.
Thought of Olivia, the girl I've always been.
'Bothsides-ologist' 😂😂😂😂 🌟ICONIC🌟
Never ever !!
@theswiftologist Totally Agreed
A theory that I saw that I loved is that Taylor and Joe themselves are the Tortured Poets Department: two sad poets who only brought each other down.
Oooh interesting. And chilling.
Oooooo love this
I also thought about this as well!! It's true that Joe has songwriting credits in some of Taylor's work (regardless whether or not someone might believe he actually contributed or not). It just makes sense that they were both delusional enough to continue in the relationship knowing they were both probably hurting, which is where the "tortured" part comes along
It seems to me that Joe was a “tortured artist” who kinda enjoyed brooding and suffering for his craft. He seemed to have brought out Taylor’s inner tortured poet.
Oh, definitely.
How long could we be a sad song?
The track that scares me the most is "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me"?
its a threat
Because I’m scared of little old her. Blondie is scary sometimes
The shot heard around the world,, no one will be the same…
ME IM AFRAID
I want it so much to have a
"Light. Me. Aaaah..." 🫦🔥
Moment, like, the girlies need it, Mother 😅
"watch me be wrong" sent me every time 💀
The “vibes and delusion” videos are my favorite
and there will be SOOOOO much more....
Try listening to an EP by Robinson called Chasing Nirvana; Katherine Li album love, k; Fletcher album In Search of the Antidote cause these are all great voices & lyrics……my fav artists currently are Lana, Taylor, & Tove Lo for those 2 reasons…..
“I’ve been a swiftie longer than you’ve had a fingernail for” 😭😂
Did I lie
@@theswiftologistactually… maybe not (i was born right after fearless so if you became a fan than yes) 😭
lol i felt that. i was 10 when love story came out and that’s when i Knew i was going to be a fan forever
@@theswiftologist DID I FUCKING -ariana- *LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE?*
His face when he said that was a mixture of “oooh that’s a good insult” and “they’re going to make fun of this in the comments”
As much as I love critical conversations on here, I will be eating up the delusions and speculations and leave hungry every time, I simply can not get ENOUGH. Very much seated for this video
We are all living in delusion at this point…
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GIRL WHO LIVES IN DELUSION
@@nimratmand3318thats me
me especially and i love it here
Was ''metaphysically'' at Coachella yesterday night so I understand. This is my hangover breakfast, lol.
Yes omg
I am going to physically combust when this comes out and I KNOW I will burst into flames again when the swiftologist releases his famed reaction
its gonna gag i know it will ...
@@theswiftologist it won't do anything less
I have absolutely no idea how the heck will I be focusing on everything I have to do throughout the week, but ok 🫨
IM SO EXCITED 6 HOURS GUYS
I just noticed that lots of titles have THE in from of the them like THE Alchemy, THE smallest man who ever lived, The Tortured poets, manuscript, albatross, bolter, black dog. I wanted to point that out cause I think it might be an important detail. It has the vibe of the chapters in the book.
The world is burning and i am here to be a silly goose.
period. silly goosery only on the swiftologist youtube channel x
Footnote and Fresh out the summer are gonna slap!
Songs of the century
Also I'm just going to put this here but my guess is "loml" is going to be about how songwriting/music is the love of her life instead of it being about a person.
I'm excited and also worried for Fortnight tbh. Post Malone's one of those artists who are smash hit or complete miss to me (love his deeper cuts like Go Flex, Take What You Want, Something Real, but falls on Feeling Whitney, Circles, or Mourning) and so much of a wildcard with his range of styles. I've been hearing his songs since the Stoney album and he, like Taylor, can head in one direction of music on an album and leap out the other.
LOVE this
I am rewatching this after album came out and I am SHOCKED at how precise you described what "I can do it with a broken heart" will be knowing only title and time!
My mental health has been dreadful lately so happy that you have uploaded. I do not usually comment but this is my comfort channel ❤❤
🩷🩷🩷 so glad to be that for you!
Right there with you. Hand heart
Take care baby. I’m sorry it’s hard rn
Same for me ♥️
Literally same.
My relationship of 8 years has recently ended. Taylor's albums normally correspond with my life but this one is crazy.
It also ended while i was in Florida, AND i introduced my ex to Florence!
I'm also an artist and the last drawing I showed him was of Clara Bow
This album is going to be insane for me
Girl good luck bc this album might end you with all these connections 😭
Girl I feel you. My bf of 6 years left me out of nowhere. I was truly shocked. Still barely processing it so I’m glad Taylor is feeding us a breakup album, truly needed it. At first I wasn’t as excited bc I felt like I wouldn’t relate to it as much, god how life can fool you sometimes. Wish you the best ❤
@@jordannnk I know 😭 I have never been more excited and at the same time very scared for an album release!
@@kianna270 We will get through this! I keep telling myself I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me 💔. We will find someone who lets us bejeweled!
She made this for you omg
In her Times magazine interview, Taylor takes responsibility for staying in the relationship. She said, "locking myself away for six years" lets us know that she had the opportunity to use her plethora of resources to leave, but didn't. I think she may be angry at herself for staying with Joe and some of her songs on TPD could he laced with self loathing because of the decisions she made.
Strongly agree
It’s about to be thanksgiving !!! Turkeys are about to be EATEN
gobble.
@@theswiftologistgobble
A gossip girl Thanksgiving let’s be real. Iconic.
@@danielstergios9957this reference just made me so happy hahaha
I don’t think I’d like the taste of that particular heirloom turkey. Too much brooding makes it tough to and tasteless.
I’m convinced that fresh out the slammer is the bejeweled of TTPD
I have two jobs but I took the week off my Friday job so I can travel 40 miles to the nearest Target at 9am and then devour the CD in peace. I'm 61 years old! 😂 It's Taylor week and I'm going to enjoy it! My grown kids think I'm crazy btw!
I love this!
Sounds like an awesome plan! :D
You just made my day, I’m 40 and I did the same, I thought I was the only grown adult in delu Lu
GOALS!❤😂🎉
Go Girl
I've had a feeling about But Daddy I Love Him since the track list dropped. It's gonna be the surprise fan fave I know it. Source: the voices in my head.
The fact that I haven't seen any leaks at all so far is crazy. Good job to whoever is out there stopping the leaks
The Black Dog is giving me Evermore vibes idk why
Well they’re both about depression since black dogs represent depression
Because "Whether weather be the frost. Or the violence of the dog days..."
I just know it’s going to completely be about a hellhound dragging you from happiness to the depths of depression. So Evermore coded.
Evermore has been my most played album and the title song is in my top 3 songs played for over a year. I’ve been hunted down by a Black Dog.
“Motion capture caught me in a bad light” is my 2023 and first part of 2024 in a nutshell. Unmoored is the perfect word.
I have a feeling this song is going to have me in a chokehold.
I was nervous we weren’t gonna have a video! I forgot we have the no-days-off ologist!
NEVER A DAY OFF OLOGIST!!! and an extra video on wednesday who cheered ??
Clapped and cheered
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely cannot wait
that playlist makes sm sense wait
YES TAKE DOWN THE HATERS YOURE MY SWIFTOLOGIST
I'M GONNA DIE BYEE
“does my channel say the both sides-oligist” i freaking hollered you’re so real
fun fact! an albatross will spend it's first 6 years of life just flying over the ocean before returning to the island it was born on 🤓
omg
Omg
Totally irrelevant fact: baby albatrosses are THE CUTEST
STOP
i really hope the alchemy has ties to gold rush, because alchemy is the process of turning something non-gold into gold. i just think it would be neat, and i have it at my number 1.
fresh out the slammer also reminds me of afterglow with the police metaphor. i just think it’s cool lol
everyone and their mom used to seek out leaks, but this era all i've seen is "DON"T ANYONE DARE EXPOSE ME TO ANY RUMOR OR LEAK."
it's beautiful!
i wish i didn’t see Reactors state that Taylor herself posted lyrics and i’m being unfair to the reactors! oh well…i’m with you, Zack and i’m waiting til the 19th!
yeah, dunno.
once while i was in atlanta, georgia buying crack i had a dude walk up to me and say 'do you mind if i go have a leak?' and i looked right at him, in his face, point blank, flabbergasted and said 'leaks are for geeks, get rolled and go have a peek or i'll make you weak 💀'. to say i served would be an understatement. to say i bootsed would be an over-underestimation. i took my tortilla out of da frying oil in da pan on da fire. he looked at me: 'what?' i dapped on that cracka-ass motherfucker. and i said 'you'd be lucky if you were a sperm in Fozzy the bears bollocks m8. it was shortly after this my tiara which i shoplifted from a bodega (yeah they have bodegas in atlanta too. deal with it.) started to slide off my head and as such fell into the scolding hot oil: 'fuck'. the dude who was inexplicably talking about leeks said something about being socially maladjusted and called me a slur for disabled people. however, the joke was on him because he then slipped on an inexplicable anteater foreskin and split his head open on the tiled floor. as he lay perishing, i lent down and went 'cause i'm nacho princess, i'm the crownhead of casual/blatant racism' then humphrey bogart said 'rekt' and then i woke up and it was all a dream. hahahahahahahaha i'm so fucken drunk
MOST EXCITED FOR 'I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)' 'GUILTY AND SIN'
Real
i love when taylor feeds us because then you do aswell 🙏
Period
No Taylor’s actually been starving us for the last few weeks 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I have suuuuch high hopes for loml bc i think she’s going for reduction of such a grand concept into a no capital letters social media abbreviation which would be a nice representation of how she must have felt in the aftermath of what she thought was her greatest love, which turned out to be significantly less grand than what she thought it was
RELATABLE 🤯
The way you got the top tier songs 100% correct
"And sometimes doing it all means you have a matty healy interlude" 😂😂😂 you're hilarious zach 😂❤
calling joe alwyn the heirloom turkey will never not be funny to me 😭 so excited for this album
“I am more in shambles than I expect to be at this point” - and honey, we’ve got a big storm coming
also the way we’ve clocked how akin TTPD is to Red is gonna be so interesting bc when she said how its an album she felt she had to make around the announcement time and the other time she’s said something was about Red is such an interesting complex!
I don't know why but it cracks me up every time when Zach mentions the Joe widows.
Please keep your reaction to the album as long as possible 😭
Please please please
The Black Dog is a fairly established metaphor for depression. Can't believe you didn't wanna go all in on that one, it's the album closer and I'd pair it with Dear Reader. I think it might be one of the most honest songs she's ever made, lifting the lid just a little to what's going on in that head of hers.
Love the ranking, agree that there are some JUCY track titles waiting for us.
You are GOTED!!! I love your podcast and you are generally SWEET, SASSY and STRONG!!
My breakup was just in time for this album release :)
You’re blessed
I am so sorry about that !
mine too (a LTR)! we're in this together
Same! Sorry, or happy for you. 😉
top three songs I'm excited for:
1. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived (aka the tactical execution of the heirloom turkey)
2. Down Bad (i hope that this is going to be the dark/sultry grown up version of Dress)
3. Guilty as Sin? (the question mark is so intriguing to me--it reminds me of the line in Carolina "guilty as sin, asleep in a liars bed," I feel like this song could also be giving cowboy like me vibes)
Honorable Mention: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
That joe stan rant made me like the video
well yes tell them
I am so intrigued by the alchemy because I think it is going to be closing the book on her obsession with comparing love to gold, or essentially calling the love with Joe manufactured gold.
Yep, the repeated reference from Daylight that its golden, but it’s not “golden” anymore
Zach in full Swiftie mode… I love it, I live for it, there is NO other content creator I would watch a video that vibe ranks tracks on an album that has not been released yet with hypotheses based on 1. the track title 2. the length of the track and 3. the placement of the track in the album.
I’m here for it, got my delusion on (to be clear it’s not the “hey are you OK” delusion of like swift-tok, much more the normal Swiftie delusion I already mentioned of listening to a vibe track ranking of an album that hasn’t come out yet!)
BTW, seeing Zach in full on Swiftie mode is so joyful and gives me happy feelings. As for now, we all 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 until April 19! (yes that was 13 heart hands. You already know it was no need to count.)
boots!!!!
@@theswiftologist After the deliciously delusional album(s) release, I think we will all be swimming in Swiftie delusion indefinitely. Very glad to have Swiftologist guidance before I end up in the asylum speaking in only Taylor Swift lyrics and muttering about rats and turkeys under my breath and accidentally telling the orderly (who’s probably a lovely person) named Aimee to go f*** herself.
Thank you for keeping us sane.
i started hysterically laughing when you compared fresh out the slammer to a dog rolling around in the mid
Your call out for the Joe Widows made me cackle like a witch and I truly needed that!!!
I feel like Poets will be a mix of folkevermore and midnights and MY EARS ARE READY!
I agree because I just found out Aaron Dessner is listed as a producer.
The unhinged track titles scare me deeply…….WHAT DO YOU MEAN in less than a week we’ll get to hear I can fix him (no really I can), my boy only breaks his favourite toy, who’s afraid of little old me?, but daddy I love him and the smallest man who ever lived!!! I’m deeply concerned for the things on this album and for my mental health after the release of this album…….😭
I'm waiting for the albatross, for me it's the one that's giving tolerate it instead of the manuscript. Apparently describing someone as an albatross means that they are preventing you from feeling or doing shit and manipulating you to seem like everythings fine, which is why the lyrics on the cover is "Am I allowed to cry?". I really don't know if it's gonna be the best song but I really need to hear this song RIGHT NOW. Also albatrosses take up to 6 years before returing to the island they left their mate on (according to google, I'm only 1% sure this is true), taylor x turkey was 6 years 😭.
I love hearing your on-point predictions! thank you so much for feeding us so often! I look forward to your videos on all social media platforms :-)
I'm living off of any TTPD content I can get my hands on 😍😍 thanks for feeding us all
obsessed with the bejeweled mic and extremely excited for all the upcoming Patreon content xx
tysm
delusion videos are the best, and i love you reading the names correctly now!!
7:47 When I tel you I CACKLED - "am I the bothsides-ologist?" LMFAOOO I love your sass. Never change.
omg a new video! your vids entertain me sm and give me some escape when I’m overwhelmed
my best guess on the black dog is that it's a reference to the grim, which depending on interpretation is either an omen of death, or a guardian spirit of a church/churchyard. it could be about seeing the end of a relationship before it happens, i'm getting vibes of a much darker the moment i knew, or hoax for some reason. like she's seeing the signs that it feels over and she needs to break it off, and she's mourning the end of the relationship before it's actually done. i am mentally ill!
We love some Sunday morning delulu!! Thank you for this meal 🙏
my pleasureeeee
I'm so excited for this album. Also, the fact that "But Daddy I Love Him" is also a quote from a particular movie where the main character LOSES HER VOICE for a man...much like how Taylor had to hide during her relationship with Joe.
I love getting my breakfast and opening youtube and seeing a new swiftologist video
Yay! I got a Swiftologist vid as a Birthday Gift!! Thank you Zackkkkk🫶
happy birthday diva!!
@@theswiftologist Thanksss! Love youuuu
God bless ur soul for creating this video bc I look forward to these videos for every release 🙏
LOML means lavender oat milk latte
😂
i can’t wait for your official reranking video to completely change my mind on everything. you have a power
I interpreted The Bolter as like a metal bolt, so she’s the one holding the relationship together with bolts and screws. I also like the idea of her/Joe running away from it, so I wonder if she could use both meanings of the term.
Swiftologist knew I needed a video today. I cannot thank you enough.
Happy to help!
This actually is delulu - but you are clever and entertaining! And energetic!
I really thought The tortured poets department (track) will be an interlude. But it’s not it’s over 4 damn minutes. Sooo mama WROTE !
I always get so excited to see swiftologist post
So excited for this album, specially “Guilty as Sin?” but I just wanted to thank you for pumping us with all this great content. 👏🏼
I just delayed my 45 min sunday hair routine for this video, and you did not disappoint 👏
honoured x
I'm soooooo excited for this album and equally excited for your real ttpd ranking video and comparing it to these delusional rankings!
“If you don’t like me ragging on joe…. Well I don’t know what you expected.” So real! Rag on the turkey 7:57
Zac - I found your channel about 6 days ago and what a treasure I found! I've been marathon watching your channel ever since, I love you and your channel, you make me laugh! You are too cute, too! Please give an update on what you think of each song, to see if they're changed positions now that the album is out. I'm looking forward to your recap! Love and light from Sherry in Colorado - USA!
it is like christmas when you upload
People on short video platforms have been F-ing with my head by putting some short clippings of possible leaks (no way possible of knowing if pranking or not) and I’m terrified of them. I want to stay away from that side of the Internet 🥶
It’s demonic
i scroll on mute ☠️ and never go on any social media the day before nor day of it's LETHAL
I want Fresh Out The Slammer to be a continuation of Getaway Car 🚙 🖤
Yessssssss!!! Get awayyyy vibes!
I completely agree that so long London doesn’t give me as sad vibes that down bad or but daddy I love him: it feels like she’s going to scream not cry
I am most excited for the black dog.. i just like the cover the most and the lyrics on the back cover says "old habits die screaming" is resonating a lot with me. And it's interesting, like what kind of habit? The habit that she cultivated on her past relationship? Is it a self loathing song? Idk, but i have a big expectation for the black dog.
the title made me laugh LOL, i loveeee alllll your videos, excited to watch this!!🤍🤍
I am so excited for this album!!! I can't wait till Friday even though I have to wake up too early in the morning 😢
Trashing exes and wishing them death (even as a joke) are 2 completely different things, sweetie.
A video from the swiftologist on my day off? What more could I ask for
Dripping with delu-lu … love it. Can’t wait to see your reactions
Coming back to watch later. But I’m so pumped for TTPD!!!!
LOVE your videos 😭😭😭
I'm excited about your tier ranking the ttpd albums :>
I, too, am Fresh Out the Slammer so I am really looking forward to that. Maybe also smallest man who ever lived. Of course, I have already forgotten what you likened to Better Man cuz that's my anthem too.
I claim just out of delusion DOWN BAD! I feel like I am deeply in love with this song.
I am so excited about everything!! I'm not a huge Florence fan but I love the only 2 or 3 songs I know of hers, I'm excited to see this Flo/Tay mashup!! :) It's giving me Snow on the Beach vibes with her collab. I think My Boy only breaks his favorite toys is going to slap with some serious heartbreak because she was his favorite toy until he broke her/ her heart. Either way the album will be epic, I have my tissues ready!!
okay but he was lowkey right about but daddy i love him being the song that encapsulates the entire album
“Get it off my desk” vs “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE” 🤣🤣🤣
Nooo cause I can’t explain it “I can do it with a broken heart” is the most Taylor Swift sounding Taylor Swift song!!!!
Looking forward to see how much of this teir list will change
no bc ur so real for giving so long london the holy ground treatment
she DESERVESSSSS
I can’t wait anymore for this album
I’m really hoping we will be able to buy the bonus tracks soon but I’ll be honest I’d rather just have them all in one (more expensive) album so I didn’t have to create a playlist on my phone to listen to them all (hello three sections of midnight)
Or maybe I’m old and there is a way. 😂
Thanks Zach! I can’t wait to see your reaction 🎉
I love you everytime you come for that heirloom turkey. the way we'll have an hour of him being dragged. oh boy ttpd will be my favourite album