Do You Still Have Feelings For Your Narcissistic Ex?
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- čas přidán 2. 04. 2023
- Following a break up many people can feel confused about their feelings towards their narcissistic ex partner, and this can be quite surprising for many given how they were treated during the relationship.
Those video outlines some of the common reasons for the confusion around those feelings including love bombing, trauma bonding and love itself.
#narcissistrelationship #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.
Recognizing red flags. Please. It is a really important lesson that I need to master so I can trust my own judgement and allow myself to have healthy relationships and not keep only acquaintances ... I honestly prefer to be an isolated introvert to living with toxic relationships.
I so appreciate your videos. Thank you Darren.
This video was invaluable to me, thank you. If you haven’t already covered it in another video, I would love to see you go over histrionic personality disorder.
Glad you found it helpful. I’ve made videos on histrionic personality disorder, and how common histrionic traits present in men and women if they’d be helpful?
I just found them! Thank you for getting back so quickly. I’m diving deep into your channel today 👌🏼
Nicely put. Thanks. After a very painful breakup with a likely narcissist, I was reminded of street art in our neighborhood that read, "I will always love the false impression I had of you"
I had to walk away about 3 weeks for what I hope to be the final time. No more "talks" that are hardly discussions of us, more about my flaws and end in sex. I have no real support system as all my close friends are now drug addicts. I have never felt so alone. I cant get her off my mind. She reaches out in anger, then in apology. Ive blocked all contact, the emails still sneak in. I long for what I thought she was, yet I know that person is created. I keep watching these videos reading everyones stories, sometimes I feel I didnt have it as bad as others and maybe I should try again. Then I recall the hard no's that occured, the lack of apologies, the behaviour that never changed. Its a tough day today in particular, so I write my feelings to strangers. Much love to all you are recovering and recovered.
Proverbs 18:24 NKJV
A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Hope your better these days?
The next video CZcams suggested after this one is "Becoming Unstuck". Well played, CZcams algorithm. Well played.
I thank GOD every day for giving me back my life.
I have not regretted or missed one single thing about that existence.
There are miracles.❤
Narcissists cause PTSD! 😢
I just turned 65 in December after 22 years with a BPD/ covert narcissist and I definitely feel like I was robbed of much of my life. I've blocked telephone number and social media. After 8 months of no contact, I noticed that she tried to call me a couple days ago. Thankfully I relocated to over 700 miles from her, but now I feel a great urge to put even more distance between us. I'm now working on getting a passport and leave the country. I'm learning Brazilian Portuguese and bettering my Spanish. First planned destination, Tefé, Amazonia.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Enjoy your travels!
Wow. Can you even imagine putting someone in such a miserable place that they are literally trying to leave the country and learn multiple new languages just to find a lasting sense of peace and safety. I wish you well, whatever your journey takes you, and I loved Chris's comment. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."
God speed. ❤️ 🙏🏻
I fled 300 miles from my narcissist ex in the UK, but all I did in hindsight, was to isolate myself from my regular support group. I have since moved back after 3 years and regret losing those close bonds and I'm starting all over. People died in between and I wasn't able to move back and pick up to exactly where I was before. In seeking to distance myself from the narcissist I inadvertently distanced myself from important support. So if you need distance from from your narcissist just block, but stay put, your support group are important for your recovery. And narcissists move on pretty quickly after you block them, they disappear, you need your friends, and moving miles away is a knee jerk reaction that doesn't help in the long term. ❤
@@amandajohnson-williams7718 she hasn't disappeared after blocking. In fact she showed up a few days ago unexpected Trying to love bomb. I had to call the sheriff and have her escorted off the property. She can't trespass for a year. In the meantime, I plan to follow through with my plans to go to the Amazon Forest. Believe me, I'm looking forward to it and will feel at home and make new friends there.
BPD and covert narcissism are not interchangeable. Very different motives for being in relationships.
I saw an additional viewpoint discussed on another channel. The rumination may also be a PTSD-like response. By reviewing the details over and over, you are protecting yourself, ensuring you learn to recognize narcissistic traits sooner, when you encounter them again.
This was another great video Darren, thank you!
I would like to see a video about victim blaming. I think there needs to be more awareness on the subject of all types of abuse, including narcissistic, so people will stop saying "why did you stay, why didn't you just leave, you should have done this or that, I would have done this or that...etc" That is so narrow minded and shames victims! People say these things because they have no frame of reference and fear, fear of trying to really understand what happened to the victim or of getting emotionally involved, among other many reasons.
Your videos have convinced me that I need to be in therapy, as I am at the absolute end of my rope.
I feel sorry for whomever that therapist might be. (I really do.)
Thank you so much for helping me
reach that decision.
When I met my now-ex, I thought he was a weirdo, but I liked him. I thought we could be two geeks against the world. But he didn't see it that way; he thought he was God's gift, and doing me a favor by dating me. No, I don't have feelings for him, except hate.
Oh my, I had a nerd as well, and I always felt like he didn’t think I was good enough for him! He is a big nerd anyway he discarded me recently and is on to find something better. It hurts but I’m working on it! 🙏
My ex was diagnosed with PPD (lots of crcossover wiith NDP, she'd fall under covert and/or vulnerable narcissism) and she called the police on me twice. The first time she dropped charges the day the police did a 5am sting with 8 officers, taser guns and battering rams thinking they would find someone assulting their girlfriend, who uses spyware and sleeps with an axe under his bed. The second one is ongoing for an accusation of coercive control which she made right after I confronted her with the fact it's actually been her abusing me. Which I could never have been able to do when we were together, of course. She moved out in Feb to be with another man. I still care about her, sympathise and don't feel any anger or regret because thanks to videos like yours, I understand eactly what happened to me and how I was abused. I feel most sorry for her mum who is the only person in her faily still trying to hold on. I've lost myself completely, I'm a shell of who I was before I met her and finding myself again is going to take a bit of effort and discipline.
You are spot on Darren! I don’t miss him. I do grieve (as you stated) the loss of my youth, the loss of being in a healthy loving relationship, the loss of my children and other family members, the loss of health, etc. There are times I realize that the only thing he did not take from me was my actual life. But then he wouldn’t have been able to witness the massive amount of suffering he has caused.
You only need yourself. I hope things get better for you.
Yes, health too. I can relate. Friends and family members. Unfortunately it can be a very serious business living with a narcissist.
So concise . I love your content and how you present it. Very clear and humanizing for the people who are confused by the pwNPD they thought they were in a relationship with. You miss the relationship you thought you had and you realize that empathy is only turned on when they are getting fuel and attention from it. They know wha they are doing
I literally had to run away from my ex because my health and well being was in jeopardy and I can’t stop feeling sorry for her. Sadly I mourn the loss of the facade I fell in love with. She also knows all my weaknesses.
I’m watching all these videos trying to make sense of what I’m feeling and they make me feel better. I’m stuck in the confusion of how I feel like I love her so much but how I’m so disgusted and then feel bad for her. The years lost make me angry but it taught me a lot. I’m not sure if the good times with her were worth the hell and words and moods and anger pointed at me.
After ending a 35 year marriage, I grieve about a job not finished and a hope not realized. For so many years, I told myself that maybe after the kids left the home or when we would retire or move to another place that things would get better between us, that the romance would be reignited and he would talk to me with respect and we could go back to the fantasy of the beginning. I never got the chance to realize any of that, he abruptly left me and dashed all hope and what remains is self doubt and blame in myself and my perceptions of our life together. You're right that we miss the good qualities and not the person.
6 years.
Loved her. She found a new supply. Broke my heart when I should be relieved. 2 years removed and I think of her daily (good and bad)
Same here. After 2 years I still think about her every day. When does it stop? I don't want to relive these scenes anymore.
25 years, I left when the youngest had 1 year left of college. 7 years later I love the life I have made for myself, I moved to the country. He crosses my mind everyday, it was like being married to Dr Jekel/Mr Hyde.
Definitely feeling a lot of these, especially the unfinished business and longing for the relationship that was promised... I'm extremely frustrated with myself as well with how my narc ex has appeared to move on quickly and easily and has never once contacted me since out breakup... It again feels almost like gaslighting - like making me wonder if it was really me instead of them, and that's why he's never tried to get me back? Infuriating.
I saw her silent treatment/silent hostility as a part of her that needed help. I decided to get divorced after trying for years. The divorce process has been a slow and ever present malady that I hope becomes a thing of the past.
This was great! Spot on! Thank you! I'm currently on a Healing Journey after leaving my ex-husband almost 10 months ago...again..I left him in 2018 and then after cutting contact for 6 months we started co-parenting and he claimed to have had a heart change and the love-bombing and future faking started. He sucked me back in and it was good for 6 months but eventually the mask fell off. For the next 2 years, I fought for our marriage and he just got worse and worse...I lost my Mum in that time unexpectedly, had abuse from her sisters and the abuse from him got worse but also he became my 'rock' for the first 2 months of my grieving and eventually that stopped too. I cut contact with him and the kids because he was abusive to them too and they are a major reason that I left again, just like last time. Well, I saw him yesterday with a new supply...15 years and I feel sick to my stomach! I tried to leave him so many times in the last 2 years and each time he cried and sucked me in promising change and it never happened, only got worse! The question that is going through my head is, "If you were able to get a new woman this quick then why did you drag it on with me for 2 years and destroy me in the process?!" I know he needs his ego boosted and has an intense need for validation but I honestly feel like so much time and energy was wasted on him...and for what?
and to make matters worse, she has kids and he hasn't done what he was supposed to do (anger management, counselling, parenting course, mental health check etc.) in order to see my kids...I say MY KIDS because he doesn't care about them, they are just pawns in his sick game. He stopped Child Support last week and after 9 months of not seeing them, approached my 11yo son at the school oval and said hi, bye and then nothing. Sent my son in a downward spiral!!! And now knowing has a new woman and possibly playing Stepdaddy to other kids while not even giving a shit about his own! It's just so disgusting...
Darren, what a pleasant surprise to see you appear via the algorithm. I briefly availed of your expertise a few years ago. I must thank you sincerely. Along with your uniquely affable approach and valuable insights you signposted me to Ajahn Brahm's CZcams content. Whilst I may still a stranger to transcendental self-actualisation this one little suggestion of yours really did, and continues to help me immensely.
Looking forward to exploring your channel. All the level best.
Uh oh, I can definantly say he holds absolutely no attraction to me, so glad to be away from him. Of course its been almost 14 years since the split, married 27 longgg years. I have dealt with a lot of feelings over the years, videos such as these have helped so much. Been working through the other family dysfunctions and finding peace more regularly and acceptance. Lol! Catch an eagle with your elbows! Yes! Ex: You're nagging me, Ex: you didnt remind me! Lol! Baahaaahaaaa!😂
Laughing aside, it's really not in their best interests to indulge them, they can choose to grow, or not.
Like 'grabbing an eel with your elbows'.....brilliant! Just about sums it up. And yes, I grieve the person I believed them to be, not the person they proved to be. A bit like a hologram, they could change their 'reflection' to suit. Thank you I always enjoy your videos 👍⚘
This makes a lot of sense :( i relate to a lot of what you say. I'll have to keep watching this again and again.
Excellant on point presentation. On target with a complicated topic. Video helpful to my situation and should be helpful to many others.
Mine was a female ( same sex ) best friend of ten years
This was my last one as well, and potentially the worst. They feel so much more entitled, oddly enough. And the first thing they do when you try to take some space for yourself is run all around telling anyone who will listen all the things you trusted them with. The auto assume you'll do it to them (or that that's why you're taking some personal space) so they try to beat you to the punch.
Respectfully, I would encourage you to consider reframing your belief about that person you see as a "friend of 10 years). I say this as I was raised by a diagnosed narcissist (female), and I've dated covert narcissists and escaped the clutches of one malignant narcissist (with the help of law enforcement, and I'm still as grateful today as I was that day, 9 years later). I wish I didn't have 55 years of having seen these individuals behind closed doors, but I have, and it's been as essential as the education I've received after 8 years of having studied the Cluster B disorders as all the theorists and journal articles I've read. Having long-term clients with NPD, both overt (opera singer), covert (concentration camp survivor and LCSW), and a vulnerable (psychologist) narcissist (with transgender son), you learn a lot through their own confessions of how they value-rank those around them.
That said, I invite you to consider that there is no such thing as "a friend" to a narcissist. Now, I'm not talking about someone with narcissistic traits, as I have had many friends with traits who did not meet the full criteria, and most...not all...of them are still my friends, despite their limitations. They will listen to me when I have problems, even though they don't always understand. Some will offer help when they can. That is a friendship, it's not transactional. These are people who do not exploit our friendship, even though they have some narcissistic traits. Now, why do I say this to you, a total stranger?
Full-blown narcissists are very ugly individuals behind the facade, especially anytime they incur an injury to their ego (narcissistic injury). Once you see that, you can't unsee it, try as you might. Here is the salient part of this entire post. *I have never once encountered a diagnosed narcissist who considers anyone a friend*. In fact, the way they badmouth the people they call friends behind their back isn't just gossipy, it shows *they feel PURE CONTEMPT for the very people they label as their friends publicly*. These are people who *do not love their own children...do not love their pets...and they simply use their children and pets to get their need for near-constant narcissistic supply met*.
If you know a narcissist, and they pretended to be your "friend", it was because of one of a few possibilities...
They know society frowns on people without friends (like something is "wrong" with them)
They enjoy being around the person, who they see as beneath them, so they can feel superior to them
They enjoy being around the person so they can feel special (if their person is higher up in the social hierarchy/famous)
They enjoy the money that person spends on them
They know you have important social connections they need
They enjoy having arm candy, and that person happens to be especially aesthetically gorgeous and they feel like everyone who sees them together is admiring them for being able to land such a beautiful "creature" (an accessory, not a human with rights and feelings).
Full-blown narcissists are INCAPABLE of anything that even remotely resembles healthy friendship. They are constantly scanning others for weakness...both males and females alike...they are constantly mining data from your conversations so they can more effectively manipulate you (and everyone else they interact with) when they need to get something they want (and that includes manipulating you into helping them get it from someone else, without you even realizing it). I've seen this in a range of narcissistic psychopathology not just in my family, but in my clients that meet the full criteria.
I live in the San Francisco Bay area, in an area that is considered a sort of LGBTQ+ Mecca, for lack of a better term. Rainbow flags are so normative, I don't even notice them until a visitor points them out. Narcissistic psychopathology is sadly prevalent in this community, and it took me far too long to see it as the reason there is so much domestic abuse in this community that it's almost normalized. Don't get me started on the obsession with aesthetics and rampant promiscuity of the G part of the community. Narcissistic psychopathology is more normative than not in this group. The remaining community members of the LBTQ+ variety have some narcissistic psychopathology, but nothing remotely close to the aforementioned.
I keep waiting for the day when I see a narcissist, of any variety, who has one, single person who they talk about as being someone they like just for who they are....and not what they "do" for their own ego.
Sometimes I am most shocked, horrified, and stopped dead in my tracks by the vile things that come out of the mouths of those who are in the field of mental health. These are people who have often had DECADES of their own therapy when they say these things (and when I say decades, I'm talking 30-50 years, as these individuals have been at or beyond retirement age). Just when I think I can't be shocked any longer, I find that I can.
So, this is why I am posting to you...a total stranger...all this info. Maybe someone else might read it, too, and see a single nugget of info that might help them adjust their own thinking. Narcissists do NOT ever have friends and only use people to get what they want. If that usefulness ever runs out...or if they find someone else who is MORE useful to them in that area and they perceive as being able to be manipulated, they will toss that "friend" in the trash and sometimes not even tell you that they have and just expect you to figure it out when they never contact you again.
Worse still, if you call and leave them a voicemail or write them an email, they'll laugh, mockingly, at your inability to get the message that you're no longer valuable and that they've upgraded to a newer, younger, wealthier, more attractive, more famous, or more useful "model". That's all people are to a narcissist...like a car that is useful...or a cell phone. If they have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, they are incapable of having a friendship with anyone, but *they're very accomplished at acting as though you do*.
This is what makes them psychologically dangerous to everyone (except psychopaths) around them.
If you're interested you can read further below about my own "friend" who abruptly ghosted me after inviting me to visit them in NYC (and a conversation 2 days ago with a PhD candidate who has never heard the term "narcissistic supply" despite having an undergrad and PhD in psychology).
No worries if you're not interested. I take no offense whatsoever. Read what interested you or skip it altogether. :)
I once had a friend that I failed to recognize was a narcissist. I thought we were friends for 10 years. Many dinners out talking about work, family, and life. We had a shared friend group. We spent weekends out at a beach house. We traveled together. I even received postcards from distant countries back in the 90s when people traveled abroad and did that sort of thing. When I moved 3000 miles away, they would visit me, and I them. I spent time with their closest family members. We went on ski/snowboard trips. We went to Australia for a month together and went scuba diving/hiking/trekking together. I can honestly say I loved this person I thought was a true friend. This person I mistakenly believed was my friend ghosted me, while I was visiting them (a visit they initiated, and I flew from LA to NY to see them), without explanation. Never a phone call. Never an email. Never even a rage or rant, they just walked out of their apartment and never said another word to me. The irony here is that he had lost an "old friend from high school" the same way. This "friend" supposedly walked out of his life and never spoke to him again after 20 years. I later wondered if the story had not been reversed. NOTE: A decade after this happened, I saw this person had moved 3000 miles closer to me, to a suburb or Los Angeles, and was being sued for wrongful termination for having his 45-year-old, very experienced executive assistant fired and hiring a young, inexperienced assistant to replace her. It wasn't until I saw this lawsuit that everything became crystal clear. I was never anything more to this person than arm candy. I completely missed it all those years. I escorted him to all his business events. I met all his male friends, but never a single girlfriend. I met his family. I went to the zoo with his little niece when she was a toddler. All those things we did that I thought were friendship based, I was just a young (younger than him), blond, gorgeous piece of arm candy that made him the envy of each male that passed by, and I never once ever suspected it because he was a master at hiding it. (and he never once ever treated me like that's what I was until the day he left his apartment when I was visiting and never said goodbye, f'you, get out, or anything.
This is what makes narcissists so confounding for so many people. They don't always narcissistically abuse you. They don't always degrade you (to your face anyway, they almost always destroy your reputation behind your back). Sometimes they simply disappear, never return your calls, and you never hear from them again (and this was back BEFORE even MySpace or Facebook existed, and people talked about ghosting).
Of all the narcissists in my family, I've never seen a single one of them talk about someone like they're a friend, it's always what they can extract out of them, and there is always the entitlement present that it's their right to do so, including their own children.
...and they have a very odd/unhealthy relationship dynamic with their own mothers. This is as true for female narcissists as it is the males.
If someone asked me about that friend now, I would say what we had was a fauxship, not a friendship.
This is why I am so grateful not just for the internet, but also for social media. Today, we can share information and knowledge about these individuals with ease...and at length, as I did here...and younger generations can learn these lessons early on, so hopefully they don't get caught up for long with these individuals when they do encounter them.
This is a post-doc education that most PhDs in psychology are never taught. Just yesterday I spoke with a PhD candidate who got his degree late in life, after making millions in the early days of the internet and the dotcom era. He has stopped short of writing his thesis, as he got CoVid and now has long-term CoVid with considerable fatigue and brain fog. When I met with him on Friday, I mentioned the term narcissistic supply to him, and he had never heard it. He actually asked me if that was a clinical term. I told him it was. He could hardly believe what I told him. I reminded him that, except for Abnormal Psychology, most psychologists will have never studied Cluster B disorders, much less narcissistic abuse and what it does to those they target (because of some perceived weakness), or any of the other terms that relate to narcissistic coping strategies. He admitted that he only heard the personality disorder briefly mentioned once or twice while obtaining his PhD. This is a man who not only has an undergraduate degree in psychology but is a PhD candidate just waiting for his brain fog to less so he can finish writing his thesis: no clue what narcissistic supply is having never once heard the term while obtaining his PhD. THAT is scary to me. They are STILL receiving almost no education on personality psychopathology unless they specialize in abnormal psychology, but they're licensed anyway.
Wishing you so, so very well on your path to healing
Sadly, girl friends can do this to us too, guys and guy friends.
I see it all to often and have also experienced it.
Although different than intimacy, the dance can be the same.
Control and manipulation.
Great info as always Darren. That last example was a real eye opener!
Well said❤ thank you for explaining this, it’s exactly what I needed to hear!
She was extremely attractive so obviously I miss the affection and intimacy but that stopped years ago. Toward the end of our relationship her behaviour was either completely selfish and unacceptable or we could go out and have a great laugh together. I know she's incapable of a loving supportive honest relationship, but yes I still miss her.
Sounds like you are also.
@@dubliner1303 grow up.
Your videos are always so reassuring, it's like having therapy. Thank you.
This has to be the most precise, thorough, on point , beneficial , informative and therapeutic vid I've seen on this. Thank you ! ❤
You’re so calm to listen 🎧!!
Oh my goodness, you have just explained a lot. Thank you.
this is spot on and exactly where i'm at right now. thank you
the moment I realized that he manipulated me from the very first time, I understood that I have never loved him. if he had been honest I would have never loved him. and he knew it, and that's why he manipulated me. he was never honest with me or even with himself sometimes. the consequence is I don't know him. I don't know who he is and I have never known him. the person I was in love with was an act. a character he was staging in order to frame me in his life. I was in love with someone unreal, like a character in a movie. and I was as lonely as a person loving a virtual character must be. and it all makes sens.
so was I in love? yes very much. did I love him? no. I was in love with cyrano, I have never loved christian. and I realized that 20 years later. what a waste of my time and my energy!
My feelings are of sheer disgust. He has used DARVO and is targeting the youngest child as she had just received an inheritance. He is saying his violence was "reactive abuse" and that she needs to look up "narcissism" as this is what I was and he is innocent. There is no way to respond. These individuals are demonic.
All people need to ready the 'Bhagavat Gita' - it's a perfect example of what human behavior is. The fight between empaths vs narcissists (light vs darkness). Where Krishna (incarnation of the Lord) educates Arjuna (the empath) on how to behave with non-attachment and strive for the 'light' - in the fight against his own family members who are 'darkness'. 'Duryodhana' is the perfect example of darkness/narcissist.
Thanks so much for all your work Darren. I'm really enjoying your videos and as a psychotherapist find the ifnormation very helpful when working with clients ensnarled with with narcissistic people. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to talk about how to help someone who is dealing with a narcissistic sibling, manage their parents who have become flying monkeys and cannot see that they are bing manipulated?
You are right on. All these feelings described my experience. I think my ex has petulant BPD with strong narcissistic tendencies. She broke up with me 2 1/2 years ago, but she just won’t leave me alone. Always wants to keep me on the hook, but give me noting of substance in return. I’ve finally come to the point that I’m fed up with it. I’ve gone from despair to pity to disgust and anger.
I never missed the real her. I missed the false self and the dream she sold me. I now see it was never real. It wasn’t my fault.
Hi Darren love your video's. You tell it in understandable.
Which helps alot
So so true. Unfinished business. My Narc cut me off 10 months ago. He has had an abusive & abandoned childhood. I only studied about narcissism and BDP a year back. A musician, he took stimulants and weed. Up & done and from a nice temperament, changes to a monster! Extorted so much money from me and went to Dublin and cheated with this under aged teen busker. Yes, I have sympathy for him.💔
Yes. The brain makes us forget and then when I would see her for a walk or something I would remember that she has some very bad traits
The affirmation in your video is valuable to me. Thanks.
As a recent widow, I found myself flooded with feelings about my husband, including sexual ones. I googled to determine if this was weird and found a site called "A Widow's Yearning". I talked about the site with a friend who's known me for a long time. She had been a social worker. She said she could see I had suppressed many feelings for the sake of emotional safety. I'm now 74 and my husband was older and I can remember saying, we have to stop having these intense arguments because one of us is going to have a stroke or a heart attack. Anyway, she concluded by saying she figured those suppressed feelings were coming back to me. That was a comforting thought, a joyful thought even. I'd be interested to hear what you would say about that, Darren. It might well help somebody else.
Widowhood: death of a narcissistic spouse. Decades together, improvement in the last few years, much fun once all the stressors are gone. Surviving spouse having a flip flop emotion frm regret of time invested and lost, and real loss of life built and different end-years enjoyment.
When do the thoughts about them go away? It's been over a year and I still can't stop thinking about them. I'm not as hurt as I used to be. I had been blaming myself for their problems for years only to realize it was actually an issue with them. Even though they did some of the nastiest things to me in my entire life, I still care about them and want them back. I got my act together when I grew up, worked hard to improve myself, and admitted, apologized, and learned from my mistakes. Why can't they do the same? They're not bad people, they just did really bad things. A part of me wishes they would grow up and recognize their mistakes, apologize for what they did, and then we could be friends and be happy again, but I know that's not a smart idea. The last time I assumed they changed and got back in touch with them, they were even worse.
They are incapable of learning and growing as a person. They're too lazy. They prefer the easy option of moving on to a new victim to manipulate. Staying with the same partner and willing to adjust to make the relationship last is something they just aren't prepared to do. Its sad even heartbreaking to us but not to them.
After 50 years, I've finally come to understand he's never loved me. How do I begin?
How can the person you trust the most hurt you and betray you like this :(
He is a monster... I don't have any romantical feelings towards my malicious reactionary abuser at all.
Thanks for the video. After years apart "the one that got away" came back into my life. We were married for 14 years and had 4 children together. Now we're Divorced and I have full custody of the children and she can only see them if supervised. I know my kids need a relationship with their mother, so I'm trying to facilitate that. I see their mother becoming a better version of herself and it brings alot of difficult emotions for me to process.
Well I feel for you! But a least you have the control with your children! My ex wife has custody of our son and I can’t begin to tell you the issues and toxic ways she can do the manipulation is constant, I pray for my son that he won’t end up like her!
So accurate, thank u 🙏🏻
This is helping me thank you
I relate with this video, that pity for her, that excusing her that maybe it's me who was wrong... damn
Amen
To all your saying.
Totally spot-on.
My husband relyed on my sense of humor 😂 God knows he had none
I am, or was, or an again, or was again, in a relationship with a narcissist. She's blind. I love(d) her so much. I had to fight my empathy and compassion and the sense of importance she gave me, and also my attraction to her fragility (!) and her being a scared, insecure, blind child inside; against their (her) rage, silent treatment, gaslighting, drama etc. She is also exotic (literally, a foreigner with an exotic accent). Anyway, is there any correlation between blindness and Narcissistic Disorder? And, yes, being a narcissist, she even "played the blind card" to get things from me. Despicable.
Yes we love them ..... god only know why!
Yes!!! I 🩷 him!!! We've been dating off & on since November!!! I miss his kisses and the way he held me at night
The only feeling I have is contempt.
i keep thinking was it me? Did i not show love . Have this feeling at the moment. But each time she would leave it made it hard to think of loving unconditionally.
It was a 2 week relationship, very intense. 4 months of no contact and I feel like I'm back to square 1, missing him a lot. I've done a lot during the 4 months but I miss him. It was only 2 weeks and it's taking me way longe to get over it?
It's okay. Narcs are so disordered that any amount of close time with them ends up feeling like a "hit and run", resulting in severe damage. Don't shame yourself about the time. You know what happened to you, and your feelings are valid. This has been the hardest part for me, judging my feelings as wrong because it wasn't a long-term relationship. He works with me though, and has hoovered a lot, so it's been almost impossible to fully heal. 😢
Ah i shouldn't have talked to him today kinda set me bsck
No.
Irish ❤️ love
Then the real question is 1 why the narc is not ashamed to pretend and lie presenting a fake facade 2 how do we fall for that not recognising the lie which means that we dont even knew what love looks like
😂 right 😂
I’m not old. I’m having kids. I’m not interested in your perspective. I’m not attracted to narcissistic men. Why? I went through 15 years of therapy. I understand how to see these disorders. I don’t work directly in your field. I am NOT connected to toxic romantic relationships. Maybe you should learn how to behave on social media.