If You Like Him, Never Play It Cool (Here's Why)

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  • čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
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Komentáře • 714

  • @Miko-yw5xt
    @Miko-yw5xt Před 3 lety +223

    I'd tell him I like him, if the feelings not mutual I see the rejection as God's protection, simple...x

    • @lindalewis1998
      @lindalewis1998 Před 3 lety +18

      Yes so do I. They are not the one for you. Let them go.

    • @vkng_drag0n982
      @vkng_drag0n982 Před 2 lety +5

      Amen sister

    • @debracross7920
      @debracross7920 Před 2 lety +1

      @@vkng_drag0n982 f

    • @marjet2228
      @marjet2228 Před rokem +6

      Well, it takes time to know if you really want him, and notjust like him. Until that day you will likely hide your feelings to protect yourself. Then there is the possibility he is not free but will play around. So it takes time to find that out. So it’s a phase of going ahead and then pulling back.

    • @Miko-yw5xt
      @Miko-yw5xt Před rokem +6

      its better out than in. a guy I liked tried to kiss me but it was an awkward lunge that went nowhere so I flew embarrassed but I later admitted I liked him, asked him out but it turned out he wasn't interested in dating or a relationship. at least I found out quick we were on different pages

  • @catherinearrington6167
    @catherinearrington6167 Před 3 lety +37

    Dated man for 6 months, best vacation for 2 weeks Paris, 13 hr phone calls, best sex, madly in love, told him first, I loved him . Day before the holidays and my bday, he called to tell he had to cancel bc older adult sister had esophageal stage four cancer he had to take care of indefinitely….he ended relationship. That was 4 years ago, and I will never put my cards on the table again. I’m a divorcee in mid fifties, and he was 60. Still gutted over this, no closure, no answers, can’t even find out anything about him on google. He was an inauthentic snake. Probably married. That’s why we have to protect ourselves. The predators are alive and well, and they’re on the hunt.

  • @karinag4865
    @karinag4865 Před 3 lety +58

    When someone pretends not to be interested. It makes me lose interest in that person.

    • @viktoriyah4915
      @viktoriyah4915 Před 3 lety +7

      Absolutely. I have learned that most successful way to go is just be yourself, no games, no pretending and no drama.

  • @suntoshineastrologyandtaro1144

    Play it cool, take your time. There is no rush to mentally invest until you really get to know him. I can’t stand dating. Why can’t we all just grow the f up and act like adults.

  • @earthangel8399
    @earthangel8399 Před 10 měsíci +8

    People play it cool because they have fear of rejection....bc it's easier to not try than take a risk and fail

  • @makettle5340
    @makettle5340 Před 3 lety +13

    I decided to tell this man I liked him and BELIEVE me we went from him calling me once a month (maybe) to at least 5 times a week

  • @donnacranford2733
    @donnacranford2733 Před 3 lety +17

    I am a 65 year old woman.I've been "friends with benefits" for 3 1/2 years.I told my friend that I am in love with him but got no responce.I texted him last Friday and told him since he has no feelings for me that I am done.He called me Sunday,talked for over an hour,but never mentine the text.All of my friends and family days he loves me too.I just don't believe it.If after all of this time he has never told me that he loves me.I wasted all of that time trying to get him to love me.I'm too damn old to Play games.

    • @annecavanaugh3585
      @annecavanaugh3585 Před 3 lety +5

      I recently walked away from a similar situation... He doesn't care phased. I made the right decision

  • @alisachaise3
    @alisachaise3 Před 2 lety +97

    Don’t be afraid to show interest! The right man will reciprocate!! Throw out the fear of rejection & just go for it!!!

    • @mariatineo4614
      @mariatineo4614 Před rokem +5

      Like Nike says; "Just do it.'

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 Před rokem +2

      nice

    • @fezziwig99
      @fezziwig99 Před rokem +8

      You're tight! Just don't do it too soon....easy does it... a little at a time, kind of like how water is heated slow on a stove. Keep the temperature knob around 4, then, 5, then 6, let it rise in stages...Just don't go super nova on the guy and scare him away. Men love it that way. They need validation, too.

    • @Healthnut1976
      @Healthnut1976 Před 9 měsíci +1

      I have fear of rejection too

    • @Mikkibriteside
      @Mikkibriteside Před 8 měsíci +2

      What do you say when you go on a date but don't really like the person? This is one of my fears when dating. Odds are that you will meet people not right for you before you meet the right compatible person. I feel like I don't know what to say.

  • @scoop5867
    @scoop5867 Před 3 lety +59

    Be genuine You can never say they wrong thing to the right person.

    • @user-yo3rw5eu2n
      @user-yo3rw5eu2n Před 11 měsíci

      This is true. But I feel like the right person won't see me😢 because of a problem I need help overcoming. I hope..one day.

    • @michigan1085
      @michigan1085 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@user-yo3rw5eu2n not sure what the problem is or if this relates, but if it’s possible, put the problem right there front and center and fess up that you have it and you’re trying to overcome it. It takes the “elephant out of the room” and allows both of you to focus on other things. A lot of pple try to hide their problem, which is fine if it’s not noticeable, but when it is, it’s better to just get it out of the way instead of having this “thing” that nobody wants to talk about but is noticeable. (Sorry if I’m way off base)

  • @LanceyKersti
    @LanceyKersti Před 3 lety +66

    Oh so when a guy plays cool it looks cool and imysterious... but when a woman plays cool... she is playing games. Ladies when a confident strong man likes you you will know it!

    • @janetferguson1864
      @janetferguson1864 Před 2 lety

      Absolutely! Edward let me know how he felt about me after a few months of dating. We are in a full on relationship. Anything else would have bored me. We have more than a connection.

  • @doradebosco
    @doradebosco Před 7 měsíci +12

    11.54 When you're vulnerable,transparent, and authentic if you're speaking from the heart you can't backfire with the right guy..so true

  • @montanasky2253
    @montanasky2253 Před 3 lety +56

    What dating triggers in me is not that I’m not “good enough”... it triggers the realization that high quality men in my age group are very hard to find.

  • @denisesmith8657
    @denisesmith8657 Před 3 lety +87

    I tend to hold back until I “feel” some effort or energy toward me from the man I’m attracted to. That effort can be very subtle, I don’t need a grand gesture, but I need to see something before I show that I’m interested.

    • @robynalvin6319
      @robynalvin6319 Před 3 lety +5

      What you’re saying makes sense.

    • @jackdeniston59
      @jackdeniston59 Před 3 lety +5

      ......and you are single.

    • @pamelabaker3112
      @pamelabaker3112 Před 3 lety +8

      I agree that it's best to hold back from investing time, caring and energy when the man isn't indicating much interest. It's exhausting sometimes.

    • @georginafronda496
      @georginafronda496 Před 3 lety +2

      Agree . Recently mis read signals about going for a coffee to learn more about a guy and he said he was not ready. It’s coffee and a chat not to have your kids. Rejection is gods protection. Thanks lord!

    • @Amy-tk3wv
      @Amy-tk3wv Před 2 lety +1

      He could be doing the same thing = lose lose not win win

  • @fluffymuffin7235
    @fluffymuffin7235 Před 3 lety +29

    I am so sick of all these games...
    And people playing them 🤕
    Stand in your fuck!ng truth!
    That's all I want...😏

    • @jonathanjobe1135
      @jonathanjobe1135 Před 3 lety

      I agree and I sadly think the games will get worse.
      I blame bad people and laws that cause hate, anger and divisiveness between people.
      I don't know what to do.

  • @Beautifuldays8685
    @Beautifuldays8685 Před 3 lety +16

    Gratitude don’t work with bad guys or narcissistic

  • @Jesusistherealdeal
    @Jesusistherealdeal Před rokem +17

    I told a guy who at first was attracted to me, that I started liking him more than a friend. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship. I respected his honesty. Now, our texts are less and when we see eachother, I sense he is trying to avoid me. He is also young, 32, when I am 46. The thing is I would like to still be friends..but, hey, all that matters to me is that I told him, and I don't feel rejected at all. Life still needs to move on and continue being happy with yourself😊. Btw, I enjoy your videos. Thank you for being transparent with having a sense of humor🙂. Praying for your continous success and blessings 🙏

  • @true6766
    @true6766 Před 2 lety +22

    If most men were conversational like you .. WOW..what a big successful difference relationships would be! I sure wish there had been a father or big brother like you in my life..

  • @celegleeson1767
    @celegleeson1767 Před měsícem +2

    Jonathon, you are so refreshing. Love ur open-mindedness. Treat people like people, I say.

  • @fely631
    @fely631 Před 9 měsíci +4

    Yes Im seeking for a committed relationship. Thank you for your counseling Ive leant a lot.Never play cool while the guy is standing standing in front me.The thing is im scared of rejection.

  • @sarahleegronberg6451
    @sarahleegronberg6451 Před rokem +6

    I'M 81 AND FOLLOW YOU!!! YOU ARE OUTSTANDING!

  • @Carr2409
    @Carr2409 Před 3 lety +43

    Hi Jonathan, my husband died November 2018 From Alzheimer’s. I have found dating extremely difficult. I recently purchased your book “what the heck is self-love anyways”. I have found it very helpful. When he died I didn’t even know who my identity was anymore. I had been a daughter, wife, mother, divorced twice, remarried, for 28 years to a man that was abusive and then had Alzheimer’s. I became a caregiver and then he’s gone. Who am I? What am I to do with the rest of my life? So I start date. Big mistake? Or was it? I have learned a lot. Jonathan thank you so much for your candor, your honesty. I’m just sitting here crying listening to this tonight. Because I have been dating people that are exactly what you were talking about. And then recognized that I really needed to work on myself. To attract the right person. I have a bad habit of attracting the wrong man. I really want it to stop. In the process I know I have also pushed away some good men along this journey. Now recognizing that it probably wasn’t them it was me whatever it is going on inside of me.. I live in Michigan I love the water thank God for the lakes. I go there and I read your book on my cell phone. Self discovery taking my time to know all the trauma that has gone on in my life from sexual abuse as a child to the physical emotional abuse from marriages. That had led me to where I am right now. My birthday is on Monday I’m going to be 62 years old and thanks to you I don’t feel so lost anymore. I know that there is hope for so many of us. And there is so much pain not just within myself but with many of the men that I have dated. From their own traumas. I know that it is a matter of time I will get through this. Thank you again for your honesty when it comes to all of this. I always knew the game playing was a bunch of shit. I’ve added you to my prayers that you will continue to receive the insight that we all need at this time in our lives. This is also why I purchased the book 8 dates. Thank you.

    • @michigan1085
      @michigan1085 Před 9 měsíci +4

      I had to comment cuz I’m from Michigan too (but moved away a few years ago). I miss the beauty of Michigan! I hope your journey of working on yourself is going well. Your post resonated with me. I too have been trying to navigate dating after being in an abusive marriage for 23 yrs, now in my mid 50’s and I realized that I also attract (or maybe am attracted to?) the wrong kinds of men. I think I’ve become somewhat avoidant myself because of trying to protect myself. I hope your healing is going well. Sending a big Michigan hug your way!

    • @Carr2409
      @Carr2409 Před 9 měsíci

      @@michigan1085 hi there thank you for your kind words. It has been two years that I have been working on myself and it is going wonderfully. Now being the 64 year old. I can say that I do love myself. I have been taking good care of myself. And, I am no longer avoiding relationships. And have recently gotten out of the anxious mode. It’s amazing the different qualities that we acquire from life. That we have to overcome. I continue to work on myself on a daily basis. I don’t use the dating apps. I tried that once, and realized it was not for me. At this point, I have put out my intentions, and I know that as I am becoming the person I want to be and I will attract the right situation into my life. I hope that things are going well for you. And today it is snowing in Michigan. But I am getting my home ready as I plan on moving out of state. Where am I going? That is still the question to be answered. But I know the doors of opportunity will open up for me and I know that I am being directed and I am listening. Hugs to you.

    • @jeanlives6032
      @jeanlives6032 Před 7 měsíci +2

      You are worthy and intelligent... don't lean in too soon to a man lean back until u see his actions for a few months, unless he shows his stupid jerk moves within 1st meeting..

    • @Carr2409
      @Carr2409 Před 7 měsíci

      @@jeanlives6032 hi, thank you. I am not the same person i was two years ago. I have grown quite a bit done a lot of changing. It’s amazing when you do a lot of work on yourself what can happen. I love who I am I set boundaries my fear is gone. I don’t mind being alone. And at the same time I am looking forward to a very healthy relationship. Thank you. I hope all is well with you.

  • @user-rs8zb9on3j
    @user-rs8zb9on3j Před 7 měsíci +3

    WOW, I remember ,back in my college days, I asked a college friend out on dates twice in NY. I liked him and I gathered the courage to ask him out, and guess what,?! We both enjoyed,equally our dates out! In fact at the end of our second date he asked if he could kiss me and asked me out on a date!😊😊❤❤❤❤. It's worth the effort asking a guy out!!!

  • @monikaleszko5343
    @monikaleszko5343 Před 6 měsíci +3

    I love how FIRED UP YOU GET. 🦁🦁🦁🔥🔥🔥

  • @sharon6871
    @sharon6871 Před 2 lety +12

    We're fucked up for one thing, all the Disney fairy tales that were burned in our brains at a very young age 😥🙂

    • @DebraFortMyers
      @DebraFortMyers Před 6 měsíci +2

      Funny and True!

    • @DorothyPrater
      @DorothyPrater Před 3 měsíci +1

      Thank you for helping me to understand my late husband!!👍

  • @penelopeok1
    @penelopeok1 Před 10 měsíci +5

    Thank you so much for the positive recognition that most men ( and most women) are good. It’s sad that this is not widely understood.

  • @rhondachristensen8619
    @rhondachristensen8619 Před 2 lety +5

    I had 3rd grade teacher, who stole my library books, lie in front of my parents at a parent/teacher conference: Principal got involved, and found the library books in teachers draw...!!

  • @normasagevanzyl1727
    @normasagevanzyl1727 Před 3 lety +41

    Congrats on hitting 50000 subscribers.. you deserve it Jonathon 🎉🎊🎉👏👏👏
    I'm a 73 yr young woman that follows you and find you fascinating. Your presentations are so sensible and honest. The kind of advice I like and agree with... I'm trying to slowly reel in an ex (circumstantial) of mine, he is 60 yrs young. We dated in the late 80s. We reconnected 16 months ago. I also believe in the lean-in philosophy.
    I'm open and honest and totally transparent, old school. Our chemistry is astounding. I hope things come to fruition for us. We're in a long distance relationship currently. I am willing to move. Just waiting for things to mellow out on his side after Covid knocked him and his business sideways.
    Keep on keeping on and teaching us the basic rules of successful relationships and thank you.👌

  • @medinaseaborn2227
    @medinaseaborn2227 Před rokem +4

    Hi there Jonathon, from Cairns, Australia. I'm in this predicament, I don't want to be reserved or play it cool. I need to talk to this guy, because I am being reserved to the point of making sure I don't touch him, when I see him.
    I do love this guy, he's a good one, and he is in my life for the long haul. Platinum platonic😂

  • @Healthnut1976
    @Healthnut1976 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Thank you for sharing what the RIGHT man does. I took notes and its on my desktop.

  • @melodyleiber8562
    @melodyleiber8562 Před 3 lety +7

    You hit the nail on the head...rejection....he's afraid of it and so am I....so,what now??????

    • @rare.3540
      @rare.3540 Před rokem

      Agreed.

    • @christinagracewhite
      @christinagracewhite Před měsícem

      You need to be brave. That’s what the saying, it’s better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.

  • @GODISMYSTERIOUS
    @GODISMYSTERIOUS Před 3 lety +19

    A lady dated a guy for 2 years. So a sexual relationship might have lasted for more than 1 year. The man said he wasn’t in love with the woman after dating 2 years. So what should that woman do? If I were that woman, I would move on. Don’t beg for love. What The Heck Is Self Love!

  • @vam9785
    @vam9785 Před rokem +15

    I think the rules and the feminine/masculine rhetoric have indeed f-d me up. I'm applying the things I'm learning from you and I am already seeing results. Years ago I didn't resonate with you cuz I wasn't there yet emotionally and mentally, but now I think you are a gem of a teacher. Thank you for going against the grain!

  • @katherineolson8426
    @katherineolson8426 Před rokem +13

    I’m SO glad I found you !
    I’m 67 and have hit brick wall after brick wall in my relationships. You have completely changed my POV on developing partnerships
    You’re right….. if they’re going to run, let ‘em do it early on.
    Love ya❤
    I never end up with a question bc you always answer them in your videos! 🎉

  • @julie88b
    @julie88b Před rokem +12

    I was asking God for help in a situation I am experiencing in my life - this was a gift from heaven Jonathon - thank you!!!!!♥️♥️♥️🔥🔥🔥👏👏👏

  • @lindatallon4036
    @lindatallon4036 Před 2 lety +20

    I completely believe that when a woman has sex, it completely clouds her judgment... She starts making excuses for his bad behavior, hence protecting her fantasy.

  • @LuckyLioness369
    @LuckyLioness369 Před rokem +6

    I am so sorry you had a teacher like that. She obviously hated herself, and her life, but it is no excuse for her to have done that to you.

  • @01dees
    @01dees Před rokem +17

    I love you Jonathan, specially when you are beating the hell out of us women in our stupid ways. 😂 I am learning a lot from you. I love it when you get so passionate with the topics you are trying to impart. You are saving a lot of women from a heart ache. Keep up the good work! Thank you for all that you do. God bless🙏❤️🤗

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Před rokem

      WOW, thank you. May I ask, what inspired you to follow my channel?

    • @01dees
      @01dees Před rokem

      @@JonathonAslay … I, myself is looking for an answer on how to connect effectively with a potential date/partner. I am 66 years old and has been trying to find someone that I could grow old with. In short to find my last love. I have been divorced now for 7 years from a 32 years of marriage due to infidelity and I find it hard to trust again. Men’s behavior in the dating world nowadays does not help either with probably no fault of their own as they are wounded as well. I find your concept of dating very real. And I am inspired in how you tried to protect women from heartache by navigating the dating world by knowing your goals, setting boundaries from the get go, and communicating effectively with your potential dates and not to forget to heal yourself from your trauma. All of these I learned from YOU! Thank you very much!!! … i wish I could afford your one on one coaching. God bless you Jonathan! Keep up the good work! 🙏🤗❤️

  • @yancyneaola1468
    @yancyneaola1468 Před 3 lety +28

    Ohmygosh! Radical honesty is exactly what I want! Being honest with guys has definitely weeded out the ones that are not for me

  • @genxx2724
    @genxx2724 Před rokem +5

    11:48. Jonathan, “backfire” doesn’t mean the man responds negatively during the conversation. It means he starts playing games, taking you for granted because he gets an inflated ego and thinks he can walk all over you.

  • @01dees
    @01dees Před 3 lety +41

    Really love your arguments about the concept of chasing and leaning back. Its excellent!!! And i love your passion … who cares if you yell/scream and spit while you talk .. that’s who you are and thats your brand. I love your work and you as a person! You are very authentic!

  • @goldies6702
    @goldies6702 Před rokem +3

    Fear of regret > Fear of rejection

  • @avisnagorzanski4326
    @avisnagorzanski4326 Před 3 lety +14

    After a divorce, dating, & canceling 2 engagements, I’ve been taking a hiatus over two-year hiatus to work through my issues & own my mistakes - letting go of the pain, soul searching, loving myself & being grateful for life & choosing JOY!! 🥰 thank you for all you do!

    • @avisnagorzanski4326
      @avisnagorzanski4326 Před 3 lety

      Sorry i repeated myself it’s early here in PA!! Lol

    • @avisnagorzanski4326
      @avisnagorzanski4326 Před 3 lety

      @@meeperbird thank you I know it must be a compliment I’m sorry I don’t know anything about Astrology! All I know is I was born in August so I’m a Virgo! 😂

    • @avisnagorzanski4326
      @avisnagorzanski4326 Před 3 lety

      @@meeperbird looked up the meaning ..thanks so much! 🥰

  • @katusb2805
    @katusb2805 Před rokem +6

    I had trauma as a child. Never experienced fathers love. Now am attached style. Love your show.

  • @Bellab414
    @Bellab414 Před rokem +3

    Telling it like it is especially acknowledging your own vulnerabilities

  • @michelekawamura1357
    @michelekawamura1357 Před rokem +3

    OMG he so right. The character of our interaction is so superficial until something or someone makes it personal

  • @dottywhite2295
    @dottywhite2295 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Start the day giving yourself a hi five on the morning every day

  • @gene3636
    @gene3636 Před 2 lety +7

    He was broken and bitter and he held it in well...from being a young father at 18, to a having a stepfather who ignored him...he was brilliant and had a very high IQ...he was gifted at getting in your psyche...the bad part for me was I thought I could fix him because I fixed me...little did I know broken folks have to do the work before you can assist them...I learned that I love myself and that at a senior age I still love and want to be love and now I know I will be loved again

  • @lorettadurso4666
    @lorettadurso4666 Před 3 lety +15

    Absolutely! I truly believe that we surly meet people for a reason. Yes, we are all "wounded" ..what we do, how we think is sometimes based on what we've been through, childhood beliefs, trauma..or life itself. Oh, definitely...how we've been brought up.. leaves a scar..thank you Jonathan, I can relate...💕...Wish i knew all this when I was younger... guess never too late to learn!

    • @1991windsor
      @1991windsor Před 9 měsíci

      I had CPTSD after a narcissistic relationship, and it's one the worst things you can ever imagine going through. The scary part is that there are way more narcissists in the world than what people realize because most people that have it are never diagnosed with it because they don't feel they are the problem.... you are! I grew up in a small town in Ohio, and it is very scary to know how many of my friends have been in the same types of relationships with these monsters. It doesn't discriminate amongst the sexes or where you live either.😢

  • @sassy_grit4053
    @sassy_grit4053 Před 3 lety +9

    I’ve just recently discovered you, so I’m binge-watching to catch up. I’m not stalking you I promise. LOL. I will try to comment on each video. Your material is great, and I’m getting a lot out of it. Thank you.

  • @sablekat1984
    @sablekat1984 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Great rant! I’m authentic and if he doesn’t accept me NEXT!

  • @glamaz0n
    @glamaz0n Před 3 lety +5

    I already posted about this, but I said the words "You're cool, I like you." But I was rejected and rebuffed and told they were only interested in my sexuality. (It's legion, and I had no idea how strong it was until recently.) But I survive !! And you can too. Now, the guy is just a speck in my rearview mirror.

    • @georginafronda496
      @georginafronda496 Před 3 lety +1

      Said those words too to a guy and was rejected and initially shocked but am good and his loss!! Keep going sister with your authentic and honest self. 👍👍

  • @taffyj531
    @taffyj531 Před 3 lety +19

    Oh my gosh, that teacher story! When I was in the 7th grade, the nun who taught the class had us list what we liked and what we didn't like about our fellow students. A popular, pretty girl in the class wrote that she didn't like me because I was "homely". The nun read her comment out loud to illustrate that this was not a nice thing to say. You can't make this stuff up. Always excellent information, Jonathon, thank you.

    • @gmoni2456
      @gmoni2456 Před 3 lety +5

      Yes. We all have nun scars. Some waaay more than others. The stuff we saw! And it wasn't only the nuns!

    • @taffyj531
      @taffyj531 Před 3 lety +3

      @@gmoni2456 Oh the stories!

    • @gmoni2456
      @gmoni2456 Před 3 lety +3

      @@taffyj531 When I tell them now, people can't believe them except for my friends who were there, too! 🙄

    • @LaSorciereFeuillue
      @LaSorciereFeuillue Před 3 lety +2

      Nun scars... getting belted with a ruler over the knuckles as I played the piano badly- and was crying; because Mum wanted me to learn. I still can't listen to piano music.

    • @American_Grrl
      @American_Grrl Před 10 měsíci +1

      So I went to public school and my 5th grade teacher regularly bullied me. I was late with an assignment, and she grabbed my paper out of my hand, crumpled it up, and stuffed it into my jumper, between my jumper and my turtleneck. Another time she mocked me in front of my classmates again by asking me which was my right hand and I raised the wrong one. I am intelligent, but have right-left confusion, learning disability in math and probably mildly autistic. Then it was okay, today she would probably be fired if found out. 12:03

  • @RaysOfSunshine-uw2sc
    @RaysOfSunshine-uw2sc Před měsícem +5

    Joanathon, you're better than cool. You're certainly Superb Cool Guy.

  • @annastella4014
    @annastella4014 Před 3 lety +21

    one time we were making daffodils i was sooo happy i absolutely loved the look of the daffodils my teacher with the big nose who failed me knew i was happy and really thrilled to make them she came in my group and said no Anna you have to stop you dont know what your doing stop now!!!!! i was getting ahead and almost finished my flower when she told me to stop and look at everyone else as they worked on their daffodil it was horrible i was just about done mine was fast and quick and almost had mine complete when the looser teacher tells me to stop. She was so angry with me that she kept me in for lunch looking at an unfinished daffodil. i could not eat my lunch too. All the kids were done their daffodils and she put them up on the wall and were happy to play out side but not me i had to stay inside for the 45 min and no lunch looking at an unfinished daffodil the whole time and i could not finish it. It was wicked of her to do that to me i was only in grade 1 my goodness why did she hate me soooo much how could any teacher treat a little girl that way and think it was ok. We moved away to a way better school after my loving dad found out she failed me and it was truly a blessing. I was in a music band and all sports and our school plays were a big hit. I absolutely loved the new school i had high grades and many many friends. I thank God for listening to my prayers.

  • @georginafronda496
    @georginafronda496 Před 3 lety +3

    Jonathan I asked your question and to a guy I liked and he rejected me. I move on and his loss !

  • @annastella4014
    @annastella4014 Před 3 lety +8

    my wicked teacher in grade 1 had a really big pointed big noise just like the witch on the wizard of oz. She pointed her finger at me and her fricken nose in my face. What the hell lol lol i have to laugh now but my goodness!! She failed me... what the hell the reason she told my dad was that Anna is too shy. She intimidated me and harassed me all year round and then failed me. But i was moved far away to a way better school. The good Lord answered my prayers i promised!!!!!

  • @ladyj8878
    @ladyj8878 Před 3 lety +8

    Thanks for this. I dislike the push pull manipulation.

  • @elainebutterworth8051
    @elainebutterworth8051 Před rokem +6

    Hi Jonathon, I'm new here, watching with interest as an 80+ year-old! Do you think that the very idea of a "date" puts immediate pressure on both sides? Remove that notion and just have fun as friends with NO expectations for later seems to me to be a better way of getting to know someone. Or maybe I'm just old...!

  • @rochellecortelyou8515
    @rochellecortelyou8515 Před 3 lety +9

    I did let a guy know that I liked him...I just dont think he was interested in me. Even though before we would flirt, cat and mouse type thing. Anyway, we still speak, we are neighbors, but made it clear I did not want any awkwardness between us ever. I think we are still friends. Continued respect I believe.

  • @gigi83578
    @gigi83578 Před 3 lety +13

    Omg…..I love you ❤️ Thank YOU for being so authentic and real! So refreshing!!

  • @jacquelinelane3943
    @jacquelinelane3943 Před 9 měsíci +2

    I read many “rules” books! Yet the most compatible, mutual connection, lots of fun & memorable times.. It wouldn’t of happened because I called him first! Not sure why I don’t do this more

  • @tonyalee5257
    @tonyalee5257 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Than you so much for this today. So many times we discount people without recognizing that people are wounded.

  • @margaritagonzalez5011
    @margaritagonzalez5011 Před rokem +3

    I’m traumatized by what that teacher did to you, and I’m an adult already. CANT even imagine. Even if it would have been true that was not the way to handle that.

  • @cherankimiorak1739
    @cherankimiorak1739 Před 3 lety +11

    Honestly don’t know what I would do without Jonathans advice 💜

  • @avamcdonald6811
    @avamcdonald6811 Před 3 lety +6

    Jonathan Thanks for BEING A MAN THAT SPEAKS FROM THE HEART

  • @ah8694
    @ah8694 Před 2 lety +2

    Tension and mystery creates lust vulnerability creates closeness

  • @ggjjjjaj1
    @ggjjjjaj1 Před rokem +4

    Your discussion on wounded men made a lot of sense . Although dating them is not easy , it can be worth it if they are willing to try and realize they are loved by someone who wants to invest and love them .

  • @FafaGamingYT
    @FafaGamingYT Před 9 měsíci +3

    When I was 5 years old, my teacher pulled me up in front of the class and said I couldnt count in front of them..just because I wasnt moving the counting blocks I was using aside as I counted them. From that day on I hated math, and felt like I was stupid. Teachers can be cruel to young kids

  • @letamorgan6819
    @letamorgan6819 Před 3 lety +5

    You're way to young to have grown up in the 60's. It was an incredible time to need to heal from..thanks for your authentic transparencies. Your balanced approached is healing to help us all realize the 'other' is not the enemy we need to do our own WORK. Compassion and forgiveness of self and others is an every day exercise..

  • @amor8708
    @amor8708 Před 3 lety +6

    wow...thank you, thank you, thank you. So happy I found your channel. Been in 3 long term relationships and never gave myself a chance to LOVE ME. 8 months ago, I ended an 8 yr relationship/engagement and while living together I learned so much about myself and I thank him for everything he taught me. Super excited and happily working on healing me❤

  • @PrincessFarron
    @PrincessFarron Před 3 lety +5

    Ghosting you've known personally for around 10 years it's intentional and no wounding can justify that.

    • @cheryladams7288
      @cheryladams7288 Před 9 měsíci +1

      there's one man in particular that I have loved for so long that did that to me twice! I know I'm foolish, but I just don't understand it. He spoke so positively, even talked about my meeting his family. Then all of a sudden zip, nothing. I was so angry with myself. But at least I told him off.😢

  • @paulamccracken6084
    @paulamccracken6084 Před rokem +3

    Hurt people,hurt people!!!

  • @mercedesescoto628
    @mercedesescoto628 Před rokem +3

    Love you when you rant. you are very clear with your lessons.

  • @01dees
    @01dees Před 3 lety +9

    Wow, i love the principles or the reasons of your advice in dating that we are all human and have anxiety about who we are and if we are likable bec most of us has trauma in life and we are afraid to be rejected again or fail again. I agree w/ u leaning back is playing games, its a power play. If we want to find a true relationship we have to be vulnerable and be truthful of our feelings. Yes, leaning back has its own place in dating but not to practice just for a guy or a woman to chase each other. Thanks for the clarity of these issues.

  • @carriezimmerman7700
    @carriezimmerman7700 Před 3 lety +9

    I love listening to you, Jonathon! You are a true teacher!! Love you, friend!! Keep doing what you're doing!

  • @MomialaKStapp
    @MomialaKStapp Před 2 měsíci +1

    Cali time 8am thank you for your services🎉

  • @janjacksonauthor
    @janjacksonauthor Před rokem +1

    I am so sorry you and all of us have been hurt by our parents and others. I love you all. Continue doing your best. Love

  • @Diabeteslovewithdee
    @Diabeteslovewithdee Před 3 lety +17

    Congrats Jonathon on hitting 50K Subscribers!

  • @veronixawardwell8802
    @veronixawardwell8802 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Congratulations Johnathan!

  • @GODISMYSTERIOUS
    @GODISMYSTERIOUS Před 3 lety +8

    Fellow subscribers here. When you find a guy, tell him you are following Jonathan and invite him to watch Jonathan. It is faster than reading a book together. If I have a date, I would tell him that I am following a vlogger who teaches dating. I would suggest that he may watch Jonathan.

  • @WellnessWagon
    @WellnessWagon Před 3 lety +2

    Oh My Goodness…
    I have a Similar “9” Story.
    In 3rd Grade, I got 3 1st 🥇 Place Ribbons for some Field Competitions. I went from ELATION to DEVASTATION in a FLASH.
    Nobody was Happy for Me.
    That left a HUGE Imprint on my PSYCHE.
    I like ur Style. It all RESONATES!!!! 🙏🏼
    🦋💜🌈✨🌺🙏🏼🌺✨🌈💜🦋

  • @LaSorciereFeuillue
    @LaSorciereFeuillue Před 2 lety +6

    I'm confident enough to get by but it's terrifying to think I have to go through rejection again whilst dating AND expend the energy needed to not take it personally and get back in the saddle.

  • @TinaJohnson59
    @TinaJohnson59 Před 10 měsíci +2

    My father divorced my "stay-at-home" mother in 1971, and kicked her to the curb, knowing she had no money. I never saw her again and I was 12. I was raised by my egotistical, businessman father. I also had an abusive stepmother. So, I grew up learning how to be more like a man(in that, had to hold in my emotions). I easily learned how to handle my emotions.

  • @pazbravo8148
    @pazbravo8148 Před rokem +2

    Sorry for your loss, DEEPEST SYMPATHY 🙏🙏🙏

  • @mila7438
    @mila7438 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks for being so honest, you are sharing your insecurities. I watch your CZcams channel and read your recommendation books become my daily routine after my work. By the way, you are a very attractive person. Sending you a giant bear hug 🤗

  • @elizabethwilfong2260
    @elizabethwilfong2260 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh my gosh, finally, the truth about being a Human being!

  • @4288Zia
    @4288Zia Před 3 lety +5

    "wow, you are cool I like you" sweet thing to say.. I'll try that tomorrow...😊

  • @euniceyanez7835
    @euniceyanez7835 Před rokem +2

    yours is a more mature and sound advice. listening to you gives me more peace more than the others. others only create more anxiety and insecurities..but yours keeps me on solid ground..grateful that i got to accidentally discovered you!! hehehehe

  • @sebrinaleepayne-biscardi5411

    I tell a guy I like him when I like him. . . I don't mess around and make him guess like men do.😒

    • @empathicaqua1064
      @empathicaqua1064 Před 3 lety +2

      Love this comment ❤ I used to hide how I felt until I realized that I am better off by being honest and open

    • @georginafronda496
      @georginafronda496 Před 3 lety

      Totally agree but some guys can’t take a honest straight talking woman. Their loss!!

  • @enidrobson3385
    @enidrobson3385 Před 3 lety +8

    Hi Jonathan, I love your way of thinking. I'm also all for being honest from the start , talking from the heart and looking at it from a spiritual way. Thanks for all your good advice.

  • @Foxie635
    @Foxie635 Před 5 měsíci +1

    sometimes man says he’s casually dating but can’t he fall in love later with you? if you moved on, you would never know, especially if you like him

  • @deefernandez100
    @deefernandez100 Před rokem +1

    I WISHED I HAD KNOWN THIS BEFORE. THANKS

  • @CL-ii9cx
    @CL-ii9cx Před 3 lety +3

    It was a very long program and I stayed till the end. It was a great program. Learned a lot. Thank You,

  • @michigan1085
    @michigan1085 Před 9 měsíci +6

    I’m gonna try that with the next guy I date (the “I think you’re cool, I like you. It would be fun to get to know you better”) because I usually date guys who play it cool, then I play it cool, then we both get triggered lol and build our walls even higher. At that point I usually bail even when I really like the guy (because I worry that he’s about to bail 🤦🏼‍♀️), but who knows what can happen if I lean in? Thanks Jonathon ❤️
    Edited cuz I spelled your name wrong 😂😂

    • @GoddessGinaMichelle-fy4li
      @GoddessGinaMichelle-fy4li Před 9 měsíci

      This sounds like me as well. Being more conscious of the pattern and intensional with the words and actions may help. Let’s see if it works ! Best wishes to you!

    • @BetterTogether300
      @BetterTogether300 Před 8 měsíci +1

      wow u described it well

    • @michigan1085
      @michigan1085 Před 8 měsíci

      @@GoddessGinaMichelle-fy4li I like that... "being more conscious about the pattern." Best wishes to you too!

  • @alibrough8780
    @alibrough8780 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Ive bought all the books youve recommended so I dont string people along and I love myself to prepare for my guy

  • @janetcarrier313
    @janetcarrier313 Před 25 dny

    Jonathan, I respect and enjoy your work very much. Your coaching and counsel has changed my life. I had no idea how little I knew about men. I have applied your teaching and it has worked. I am experiencing more fulfillment in my relationships as well. I also found this teaching in particular to be exquisite. Thank you for your work.

  • @dig1272
    @dig1272 Před rokem +2

    You hit 50k subscribers on June 9, 2021 and now, only 1 year, 4 months later, you've almost tripled that! WOW!

  • @ginnyleon4542
    @ginnyleon4542 Před 3 lety +2

    Like you I read a lot of self development books and I loved the analogy that the world of relationships is like a trip to Oz
    You walk along your very own yellow brick road in life and need to find your courage wisdom and heal your heart

  • @DebraFortMyers
    @DebraFortMyers Před 6 měsíci

    Halfway through this video and watching many others, I wanted to let you know that you're very special and hope you continue producing.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Před 6 měsíci

      WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you can share this video with friends?

  • @EvieSerrano657
    @EvieSerrano657 Před měsícem +1

    I dated a wounded man and addressed it to him and he was surprised but eventually excepted it yet I pulled away and thought it was best not to continue dating him and he moved on to a new relationship that ended up failing