1) Intention; states very clearly from the start he is seeking a long term relationship/exclusive relationship 2) You rarely go 48 hours without hearing from him/checking in with you ( and it's reciprocal ) 3) He makes time for you taking your schedule into consideration 4) He genuinely appreciates talking and being with you, feels good/happy when he's together with you 5) He includes you in his outside life; work, hobbies, family, friends, home
@@JonathonAslay You're welcome. And thank you for the great insight and book recommendations. I read yours in full within 24 hours, couldn't put it down. I'm working on "Eight Dates" now and it's honestly one of the best books I've ever read about relationships.
I was in a 19 month relationship with a man who made time for me two days a week, i met his family, we talked daily and fulfilled 4 requirements as indicated but one. He was looking for a companion and i was looking for a long term relationship. I ended the relationship because without that first requirement we were just two people who were in a friendship with benefits.
Love bombing is going to try and move you fast to a relationship. It also includes gifts, words, and taking up a lot of your time. These are done very early, even before you know anything about each other. It will feel way too good, so beware of these things.
@@JonathonAslay I think love bombing can be determined as well if the time they take is when they know you’re busy. They call or text during work hours or stay on the phone at night when they know you have stuff to do. No boundary recognition. What do you think?
@@JonathonAslay The guy which is coming on strong, chasing and love bombing, but not truly knowing the girl, is unrealistic and fantasizing with high expectations.. this infatuation condition affords too much adrenalin if it takes too much time and the human Body can not produce constantly so much of it for a long period... there are studies about adrenalin. That's why it's so hard to wait and we all want to achieve our goal immediately.. the studies show that there is a long term correlation with low adrenalin and the risk of developing cancer. The Problem is the more adrenalin is produced the less adrenalin we keep... we should all meditate a little bit more and get less excited... because it healthier for relationships and for our physical health:)...
There was a guy that did the possible love bombing for nearly two years. Flower boquet's once a month, jewels, weekend trips, small purchases of items i needed, loving cards and other surprise gifts or ideas about our future life together. He seemed so very attentive and in-tuned to what my heart yearned for, or had never experienced. I thought he was the man of my dreams. I responded to him accordingly. He told me how beautiful i was every day. He seemed genuinely enamored by me. His co-workers were jealous of the wonderful homemade Italian meals i dropped of for him to eat on his break at work. Or seeing our close physical ties, or hearing about our wonderful trips and adventures. He was every woman's dream, every man's nightmare. There were a few flags however; that were easily soothed over or distracted by his sweet behavior, reasoning, excuses. He gave me a beautiful diamond engagement ring. Once i realized he was living a double life after doing private research; he got angry when held to accountability. He wanted the engagement ring back. The return of the ring may have been swift, had it not been for thousands of dollars of debt incurred during the engagement. This included expensive honeymoon plans slated for the Yucatan Peninsula, home improvements to my home to accommodate the hot-tub he wanted for us to have, or the new jeep to pull his upcoming boat. He had a decent job, promised to pay for or contribute toward those purchases. Instead, i sold the ring which no longer sparkled, in my eyes for cash in order to help pay down the debt he caused. His brand new wife; plan 'C' it turns out; was quickly willing to buy him the boat he so craved. They had matching recliners before i knew she even existed. Not only did she have a very lucrative job, but as a bonus had "filthy stinking rich parents"; he later reported. I never bought the life insurance or homeowner insurance he had requested. He married plan C shortly after we split up. Apparently I was originally plan B when we met, without knowing it. I was elevated to plan A after she threw him out. I didn't know about her until much later, learning more after our two year relationship ended. He was swiftly grooming me, moving me into position. By that time; he and his primary relationship; (apparently his former plan A) had ended. I hadn't known about either one innitially! Although the situation was devastating; i learned many things from the situation. Listening to my gut payed off in the end; but it took a while to get there. I've spent years working on personal development. My hope is to better recognize and avoid being groomed or manipulated for somebody else's better pay-out; find balance, learn to trust reasonably
I'm terribly sorry for your loss of your son.. I literally teared up 😭 my heart goes out to you 💖 and I wouldn't want anyone to go through that.. Please know you have people behind you 100%.
these signs really make sense! recognizing his interest when he's taking things slow is important for a lasting connection. speaking of connections, have you ever heard of Spanish Fly Pro? my partner and i have been experimenting with ways to bring more passion to our relationship, and it's been quite the journey. trying something new can truly ignite the spark!
Yes, this sinks in. WOW! Happy belated birthday Jonathon.!! Oh, I wish you every happiness and may you have everything your heart desires.You truly deserve it.
Hi Johnston ! You so right about Talking about scammers online and the importance of doing background and taking precautions on dating sites. I have been hit no one but many times online connections , and I became a pro on how to detect this negative people and so proud of myself for recognizing the patters this people have! Thank you for mentioning 👍
I like that you allow people to ask personal questions. I used to watch your videos when I was in my roller coaster relationship. I’m out of it now and so much has changed. It’s nice to watch you with fresh eyes.
Johnathon!!!! Connection NOT Intensions!!!! WOW😲this so resinates with me! I’m so glad you have given it a name!!! I’m going to be done ✅ standing back and being passive about my wants and needs. I feel I want to be ME loud and clear! I was raised by a “Beaver Clever” Mother from the 50’s and have always thought when the man has intentions HE will show ME! THIS doesn’t work! Divorced past 8 years and it’s been a trip of on-line dating hell! Thanks for mens side of view!!!
I really liked the point that you brought up about having background checks done for “strangers “. My daughter helped me and did them for everyone I was having more serious phone calls with prior to me meeting them in person. So important & necessary today.
I listen to Jonathan Aslay every day. His advice lifts me up, assures me that most of the time my relationship is on the right track. When I need direction, I listen to one of these videos. Subject matter on relationships is always valuable.
I agree with basically everything you say. You are so right and to me very clever. Sori to hear about your son and I'm sure he will be looking down on you from above so proud of you and what you are doing.
I believe your comments... The person who cares less is the one who has the control in the relationship & one person in the relationship will love the other more than they are loved. I think this is the deep feeling of love. I have been on both ends of this spectrum, neither are great. Thank you for your wonderful work! I am soon to be 60 & in a new relationship for 3 months now & it seems to be going well. I'm giving it another 30 days = 120 days then decide if it's worth any more investment.
I love it - we’re suckling on the nipple of dependency! So damn true. For goodness sakes - ppl have jobs, a home and yard to take care of. My kids are grown but I have 2 grandkids whose lives I’m very involved in. Men have similar responsibilities.
What a great comeback about narcissistic.. a birthday is a day for celebration appears that person is a narcissistic to say the least..you are able to enjoy it however you (within reason ) you want 👍 just getting involved with your channel and hope to inquire about some one on one to better myself..thank you for listening to my thoughts
Hi Jonathan, I'm a newbie, fom Canada, to your channel. Found you by accident. Just LOVE, your no nonsense description of women-men relationships. Your work is absolutely fabulous. Thank you, SO, much.
Happy belated birthday Jonathon! You must be a leo then.. I knew you had that fire in you 😉😁 you are so passionate about your work you're doing a great job. Thank you
Another great podcast by Jonathan which was an eye opener for me especially the different types of misleading relationships that actually are not going anywhere even though you are exclusive. Also some other great info, as always.
Oh god, I'm going to be 51 in November, this is all too much work.... I really think that I'm going to have to bow out gracefully. I've too many other important things to do these days. I've spent decades trying to figure this shit out. I'm done.... I'M DONE! Freedom....at last! ....just not in the way I expected it. New business launch next week, my focus is on that. Just upset that I wasted my best years on awful people. So I've alot of making up to do. Jonathan, your advice is sound, and your book (and recommendations) are spot on. But I am done 🙂
You sound frustrated and sad. I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you find a new companion (possibly a male counterpart 😊 while launching your new business) Sometimes the best ones show up late in life, & when you least expect it. And if for some reason a special man shows up at your feet.. wanting to give you a hand, lend an ear.. I hope you will give him some time to listen to your heart, I hope you will allow him your feminine spirit & knowing there is a silver lining in everything. You're special. Don't give up on love.
I am turned 56 and found the predatory manipulator narcissist. I am healing from the narcissist abuse now. Enjoying all the self-help books Jonathon is recommending. Reading the Hoffman Process all over again. I was reading them as I was getting to know this man. The brainwashing from the abuse pushed a past button. I am more aware of divorced men who have not done inner work being not emotionally available and why she got fed up with his shit in the first place. I am pretty much done and most likely will just love myself and make myself happy. I wish I had done the videoes and work before I met this asshole. Not measuring all men to this guy, I am sure there are good men out there who are not going to throw crumbs. I just know that if in the future there is a possibility, I will interview/vet him like no tomorrow. For now, I am enjoying my peace and building a garden for my mother. Family is more important to me right now. Healing is coming. More books to read cuz it is alot of work. Yet, maybe it's worth it
Ha ha ha ... you’re awesome! You really say it the way it is. Thank you for all the five things you mentioned - yes, he’s all that into me because he’s been doing all that - I just realized! I’ve been watching all of your posts and learning greatly! Thank you 👏🏽❤👏🏽
You say things well Jonathan. I didn't like the swearing but you make a lot of very good points and I'm listening despite the swearing. You recommend right at the beginning of your videos for us to quit watching if we don't like swearing and a variety of other things that will be said, which is good.
Thankyou for that story. I was involved in a text messaging ldr. Even though he was clear about not wanting to see me,I still went to visit him only to be turned away. It was devastating so I don't do online dating anymore.
I totally agree talking about politics and religion gives you a better perspective on who you are going to be in a relationship with totally totally agree lots of people don't want to talk about that and that can be that they're hiding something
SIR, IT WAS INSIGHTFUL AND I BELIEVE EXPERIENCE IS A GREAT TEACHER. ANYWAY, I DID NOT KNOW THESE THINGS WHEN I YOUNG BUT ANYWAY IT IS BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. THANK YOU...
Everything you said has been going in that order. Just haven't gotten to 5 yet. It's been 3 months so far. Since he is moving slow, it makes me slow down and be in the moment more with him.❤ thanks CZcams dad. Lol
Jonathon, I have learned to practice Compassionate Curiosity. For Example, I ask my close friend (male) : What are your Fears? How can I support you? I believe in asking deeper questions just like you... Thank You for being real, authentic and vulnerable with us. Thank You for sharing your insights.
Response to the woman who had sex on the third date and he said he just wants to go with the flow: YES, that is absolutely a bad sign and a huge 🚩 !! without a doubt! I made the same mistake, had sex on third date and assumed we were in a relationship since we started regularly having sex (once a week) thereafter, only later to find out after 13 weeks, he was still on dating apps. His response: “I enjoy your company and was just going with the flow”That was a huge lesson learned! I will never be this naive again. Like Jonathon said, if the man doesn’t specifically mention exclusivity BEFORE trying to have sex with you (and you naively let him), he will simply continue on coasting. Therefore, you’ll have to be the one to bring it up and get clarity from the man.
It's really important to talk about religion and politics. I like to get that right out of the way in the beginning, so neither of us waste time. I ALSO wish someone dating my ex husband of ten years would drop me a DM!
Goodmorning! Jonathan? I was in a on and of relationship for 4 years. I did all of what u said. Met his children and some of the families,went to his job and supported him in the horse racing world. Met some of his friends. The main problems I had with him is that he would out of the blue have outburst and cruse me out at times even did it in front of his friends. And then he never wanna talk about it at all as if I was to blamed for things he never wanna talk about it.. he says he cares because I met his families and friends.
Wow mine came on so strong for the first 2 months and then the brakes came on and I’ve questioned why for the last 2 months now . This helped it make sense!!
As someone who has many male cousins and a brother, I've always been conscious of trying not to be "a clingy girlfriend." With my most recent ex that was often a misunderstanding. I've seen that movie and even then thought, yep. The one who can get along more easily without the other is the one in control of the relationship.
There is nothing cheesy at all about writing a poem or song for a love interest in my opinion. Maybe it's just me (since i'm an intense person); but i would consider a personal poem a huge, possibly impressive compliment.
I just wrote a poem for him lol.... and I was afraid to give it to him. He said he would like to read it.... and now because of this video I'm too nervous to do so. 🤣
I enjoy listening to you speak. Great advice is always a good thing. I like to peak in now and then to see and listen. I am definitely finding value in your lists, as in today's CARES. Hug of self love to myself and a virtual handshake ( well after all we're strangers so maybe an elbow bump works better 😅 kidding). PS My heart ached for the lady from Boston who flew to Arizona. Heartbreaking to realize just how cruel some people are ( I don't think he was innocent in his behavior resulting in her death). Carry on with your bad self Jonathan and enjoy the beach!
Brilliant this is a masterpiece that you have developed here the open the minds and hearts I just want to say that I'm a very optimistic person but in most of your conversations or demonstrations it seem to not bring out the unrealistic part of believing and a relationship and I've faced so much of unrealistic people I know you mentioned in one of your CZcams's fantasy I don't fantasize but we run into men who put themselves on a pedestal even though they're not how do you deal with that or you run into men who enter their money more than they are into you but they are always asking you for something how do you deal with them.. it makes me angry and yet I don't want to miss out on maybe this person could be genuine but I just feel that when you meet someone and it's all about his money his lifestyle and what can a woman do for him the minute I meet another man and if he sounds anywhere like the other man and he he and he may be sincere but how do you tell difference if they're all about money I hear the word money and it's like I'm cutting him off I don't have no time to sit there and wonder if he is adequate to deal with reality but they may not be money.. these are not people that you're having sex with but they want that too and I want you to give them money to support them but they don't they don't give you support but they share what they have but not in a balanced way just here I made 90 he's your 30.com that sucks I have a nice day I enjoy your your input.. and it's an experience thank you..⭐
Oh no!! We agreed we only have to chat 2 times a week.. so I don’t know if he is into me while he was a retired person and always online daily.. but he doing all everything at home. He said he enjoyed talking to me too..
Thank you so much Jonathon for continuing to post these videos. I got myself into a terrible situation. I got involved with a narcissistic man in a loveless relationship with a woman 10 years older than him. He kept telling me that he would leave her. I stayed with him a year and 4 months, and he wouldn’t end it with her. I did fall hard for him unfortunately, I feel so incredibly stupid. I blocked him and I have really been trying to move on with my life the last 3 months. It’s been very hard, and my desperation and loneliness played a part in me getting involved in this. I am taking responsibility for my actions and learning to chase men no more. Thank you Jonathon
Never forget he was only an illusion, never the man you thought he was, no moral, no respect, lies and deceits was his true self and at the end you experienced all those emotions. He was an user from the start, my dear.
@@rayc9899 thank you so much for saying that Ray.. you are absolutely right. He was using me as an escape.. he was just avoiding his problems with his girlfriend. He never intended on dealing with those problems, just running from them. I should have seen from the start that he had way too much difficulty with the truth. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I really appreciate it !!
@@lauracordoba5888 I drove on the same road than you, he was using me to look good in public, a trophy girlfriend...WOW he make sure everybody new about us. At the end he thought he was going to get better and quest what...his girlfriend his trash the minute you see her...and she was abuse big time with a ex before she met him, sad life. Her father have 24 kids. Allo, no brain...
Finding a good man to marry and having all the prefect ingredients 4 love it’s like the winning lottery ticket usually filled with dreams only or if it happened it would wreck your life anyway
Hi Jonathan, I've gone back to listen to your previous posts to refresh my memory. You are The Coach, that is why people are listening, asking for direction. . I was a little taken back to hear an expression ie 'you woman are emotionally stunted & immature' wow! Different ways to announce feelings about Woman ie 'You Woman'. Discussing a very serious issue. I appreciate & understand that. You are stating facts that you feel strongly about. You ask us to speak up, that is what I have done.
Hey J. Agree with everything except one thing.. and several experts also say this just my opinion .. introducing someone to your children should only be with a person you wish To marry.. no need to keep introducing strangers (3-6 months of dating if you don’t know the future .. I wouldn’t want my kids to get attached to someone while we’re in dating stage. Love the “keep swimming” slogan!!! I say it to myself now.
@@JonathonAslay they could. So many boys want a dad in their lives that if a guy came by and talked even 15 mins of sports or threw some pitches, yeah they can hook easily. Best to avoid the intro until much later
I feel like 👍 No matter what age you are. And life path you are on in the time. We are evolving. Relationships at any level. I know should be easy to learn. But are Hard at times. To cultivate and navigate in self love. And in relationships
I agree with his assessment regarding emotional maturity and emotional development; however, plenty of people who are in relationships also have emotional maturity/emotional development issues too
Comment from what you shared a LONG time ago....you mean that someone actually shares the SAME tastes I do in movies? Guess that means I'm not completely strange! lol Love and best to you Jonathon!
OOOh yes, to 'interview' the persons around the new contact, inclusive the 'ex-spouse', would be great!! Should be one of the first questions'if I asked your ex.., what would she say about you?' :-))
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Omg my guy gave me banana bread and a cd on our first date. Brought me back to the good ole days. Sneaky bastard!
@@Thegardenersclog that’s what his goal was. Yes, a manipulation for sure to keep your emotional thinking high.
Amen on Cares!! Excellent !!!!!
Amen on C A R E S Jonathon !!! Excellent!!!!!! Thank you for an easy way to capsize an important issue in relationships.
@@wagendorf31 am.k.
1) Intention; states very clearly from the start he is seeking a long term relationship/exclusive relationship
2) You rarely go 48 hours without hearing from him/checking in with you ( and it's reciprocal )
3) He makes time for you taking your schedule into consideration
4) He genuinely appreciates talking and being with you, feels good/happy when he's together with you
5) He includes you in his outside life; work, hobbies, family, friends, home
Thank you 😊
@@JonathonAslay You're welcome. And thank you for the great insight and book recommendations. I read yours in full within 24 hours, couldn't put it down. I'm working on "Eight Dates" now and it's honestly one of the best books I've ever read about relationships.
I was in a 19 month relationship with a man who made time for me two days a week, i met his family, we talked daily and fulfilled 4 requirements as indicated but one. He was looking for a companion and i was looking for a long term relationship. I ended the relationship because without that first requirement we were just two people who were in a friendship with benefits.
3 out of 5, still getting reacquainted since 1983
Thank you so much! I don't have an hour and a half....
Love bombing is going to try and move you fast to a relationship. It also includes gifts, words, and taking up a lot of your time. These are done very early, even before you know anything about each other. It will feel way too good, so beware of these things.
Excitement can also look the same...
@@JonathonAslay I think love bombing can be determined as well if the time they take is when they know you’re busy. They call or text during work hours or stay on the phone at night when they know you have stuff to do. No boundary recognition. What do you think?
@@JonathonAslay The guy which is coming on strong, chasing and love bombing, but not truly knowing the girl, is unrealistic and fantasizing with high expectations.. this infatuation condition affords too much adrenalin if it takes too much time and the human Body can not produce constantly so much of it for a long period... there are studies about adrenalin. That's why it's so hard to wait and we all want to achieve our goal immediately.. the studies show that there is a long term correlation with low adrenalin and the risk of developing cancer. The Problem is the more adrenalin is produced the less adrenalin we keep... we should all meditate a little bit more and get less excited... because it healthier for relationships and for our physical health:)...
Facts
There was a guy that did the possible love bombing for nearly two years. Flower boquet's once a month, jewels, weekend trips, small purchases of items i needed, loving cards and other surprise gifts or ideas about our future life together. He seemed so very attentive and in-tuned to what my heart yearned for, or had never experienced. I thought he was the man of my dreams. I responded to him accordingly. He told me how beautiful i was every day. He seemed genuinely enamored by me. His co-workers were jealous of the wonderful homemade Italian meals i dropped of for him to eat on his break at work. Or seeing our close physical ties, or hearing about our wonderful trips and adventures. He was every woman's dream, every man's nightmare.
There were a few flags however; that were easily soothed over or distracted by his sweet behavior, reasoning, excuses.
He gave me a beautiful diamond engagement ring.
Once i realized he was living a double life after doing private research; he got angry when held to accountability. He wanted the engagement ring back.
The return of the ring may have been swift, had it not been for thousands of dollars of debt incurred during the engagement. This included expensive honeymoon plans slated for the Yucatan Peninsula, home improvements to my home to accommodate the hot-tub he wanted for us to have, or the new jeep to pull his upcoming boat. He had a decent job, promised to pay for or contribute toward those purchases.
Instead, i sold the ring which no longer sparkled, in my eyes for cash in order to help pay down the debt he caused.
His brand new wife; plan 'C' it turns out; was quickly willing to buy him the boat he so craved. They had matching recliners before i knew she even existed. Not only did she have a very lucrative job, but as a bonus had "filthy stinking rich parents"; he later reported.
I never bought the life insurance or homeowner insurance he had requested.
He married plan C shortly after we split up.
Apparently I was originally plan B when we met, without knowing it. I was elevated to plan A after she threw him out. I didn't know about her until much later, learning more after our two year relationship ended. He was swiftly grooming me, moving me into position. By that time; he and his primary relationship; (apparently his former plan A) had ended. I hadn't known about either one innitially!
Although the situation was devastating; i learned many things from the situation. Listening to my gut payed off in the end; but it took a while to get there. I've spent years working on personal development. My hope is to better recognize and avoid being groomed or manipulated for somebody else's better pay-out; find balance, learn to trust reasonably
My bf loves to talk with me... If I'm tired and a bit quiet , he'll ask "Baby, why aren't you talking? Talk to me" 🙂
👍
Wow!! Does Your BF have a Single Brother who lives in the Denver area please!?
Question: is it OK to ask before you are into the realitionship are they looking for friends with benefits or a exclusive realitionship?
Question: Ok to ask what kind of realitionship they are looking for exclusive or friends with benefits
Some men are shy because they don't want to devour you with passion too quickly as they feel as that might be disrespectful
I'm terribly sorry for your loss of your son.. I literally teared up 😭 my heart goes out to you 💖 and I wouldn't want anyone to go through that.. Please know you have people behind you 100%.
these signs really make sense! recognizing his interest when he's taking things slow is important for a lasting connection. speaking of connections, have you ever heard of Spanish Fly Pro? my partner and i have been experimenting with ways to bring more passion to our relationship, and it's been quite the journey. trying something new can truly ignite the spark!
Yes, this sinks in. WOW! Happy belated birthday Jonathon.!! Oh, I wish you every happiness and may you have everything your heart desires.You truly deserve it.
Hi Johnston ! You so right about Talking about scammers online and the importance of doing background and taking precautions on dating sites. I have been hit no one but many times online connections , and I became a pro on how to detect this negative people and so proud of myself for recognizing the patters this people have! Thank you for mentioning 👍
You got it, Jonathon! Thank you! I am getting stronger everyday. Yes!
You’re doing great Johnathan
Very honest and straightforward….🙏
I like that you allow people to ask personal questions. I used to watch your videos when I was in my roller coaster relationship. I’m out of it now and so much has changed. It’s nice to watch you with fresh eyes.
Deeply appreciating video and questions. I would encourage women to watch until the end. Really thoughtful ideas to apply.
I love your response to the last personal question. We need more people like you in this world ❤️
Johnathon!!!!
Connection NOT Intensions!!!! WOW😲this so resinates with me! I’m so glad you have given it a name!!!
I’m going to be done ✅ standing back and being passive about my wants and needs. I feel I want to be ME loud and clear!
I was raised by a “Beaver Clever” Mother from the 50’s and have always thought when the man has intentions HE will show ME!
THIS doesn’t work!
Divorced past 8 years and it’s been a trip of on-line dating hell!
Thanks for mens side of view!!!
Excellent video! Jonathan Always on point! Amen🙏🏻
I really liked the point that you brought up about having background checks done for “strangers “. My daughter helped me and did them for everyone I was having more serious phone calls with prior to me meeting them in person. So important & necessary today.
Blessed thanks, Jonathan! You're such a wonderful Sharer of Wisdom & Life Experience esp CARE ON RELATIONSHIPS! HOLYSPEED!
Thank you 🙏🏻 in a LDR for a year and taking it slow but whenever we are together doing all of the activities.
I listen to Jonathan Aslay every day. His advice lifts me up, assures me that most of the time my relationship is on the right track. When I need direction, I listen to one of these videos. Subject matter on relationships is always valuable.
I agree with basically everything you say. You are so right and to me very clever. Sori to hear about your son and I'm sure he will be looking down on you from above so proud of you and what you are doing.
Jonathan; I watch you daily. You crack me up.
You are so fun to watch Jonathan and cast such great wisdom! Thank you!
Awe... thanks
I agree!! I’m a healthy healed hell of a catch too!🙌🏼
I have watched many of these But this one spoke to me the loudest. Thank you!
Awesome message as always !!
I believe your comments... The person who cares less is the one who has the control in the relationship & one person in the relationship will love the other more than they are loved. I think this is the deep feeling of love. I have been on both ends of this spectrum, neither are great. Thank you for your wonderful work! I am soon to be 60 & in a new relationship for 3 months now & it seems to be going well. I'm giving it another 30 days = 120 days then decide if it's worth any more investment.
I love it - we’re suckling on the nipple of dependency! So damn true. For goodness sakes - ppl have jobs, a home and yard to take care of. My kids are grown but I have 2 grandkids whose lives I’m very involved in. Men have similar responsibilities.
😁
What a great comeback about narcissistic.. a birthday is a day for celebration appears that person is a narcissistic to say the least..you are able to enjoy it however you (within reason ) you want 👍 just getting involved with your channel and hope to inquire about some one on one to better myself..thank you for listening to my thoughts
Hi Jonathan, I'm a newbie, fom Canada, to your channel. Found you by accident. Just LOVE, your no nonsense description of women-men relationships. Your work is absolutely fabulous. Thank you, SO, much.
I also accidentally found you and loved your advice, been scammed 3 different men,certainly won't happen again!!!!
I knew that rant was coming lol Jonathan you’ve made excellent points!
Happy belated birthday Jonathon! You must be a leo then.. I knew you had that fire in you 😉😁 you are so passionate about your work you're doing a great job. Thank you
Great stuff Jonathan. Thankyou
I like this, Jonathan.
I might have butterflies in my stomach when I'm about to meet HIM, but once he enters I get calm.
Thank you! Great vids🎉
I insightful perspectives.
Happy birthday Jonathan good advice as usual
This is a great video thanks!!
Happy belated birthday, Jonathon!
Thank you Amen I'm writing everything down and I'm gonna re read it
Another great podcast by Jonathan which was an eye opener for me especially the different types of misleading relationships that actually are not going anywhere even though you are exclusive. Also some other great info, as always.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Oh god, I'm going to be 51 in November, this is all too much work.... I really think that I'm going to have to bow out gracefully. I've too many other important things to do these days. I've spent decades trying to figure this shit out. I'm done.... I'M DONE!
Freedom....at last! ....just not in the way I expected it.
New business launch next week, my focus is on that. Just upset that I wasted my best years on awful people. So I've alot of making up to do.
Jonathan, your advice is sound, and your book (and recommendations) are spot on.
But I am done 🙂
I understand how you feel...
You sound frustrated and sad. I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you find a new companion (possibly a male counterpart 😊 while launching your new business) Sometimes the best ones show up late in life, & when you least expect it. And if for some reason a special man shows up at your feet.. wanting to give you a hand, lend an ear.. I hope you will give him some time to listen to your heart, I hope you will allow him your feminine spirit & knowing there is a silver lining in everything. You're special. Don't give up on love.
I am turned 56 and found the predatory manipulator narcissist. I am healing from the narcissist abuse now. Enjoying all the self-help books Jonathon is recommending. Reading the Hoffman Process all over again. I was reading them as I was getting to know this man. The brainwashing from the abuse pushed a past button. I am more aware of divorced men who have not done inner work being not emotionally available and why she got fed up with his shit in the first place. I am pretty much done and most likely will just love myself and make myself happy. I wish I had done the videoes and work before I met this asshole. Not measuring all men to this guy, I am sure there are good men out there who are not going to throw crumbs. I just know that if in the future there is a possibility, I will interview/vet him like no tomorrow. For now, I am enjoying my peace and building a garden for my mother. Family is more important to me right now. Healing is coming. More books to read cuz it is alot of work. Yet, maybe it's worth it
I can totally relate to your comment
If my boyfriend & I ever break up, I am done too. I have been saying this for years. Not a bad thing. I am very happy alone & enjoy my own company!
My intent is to be open to the right person when he comes into my life❤ thank you Alice
I am thoroughly learning appreciating & enjoying your straight up no bs approqch.. I wish I had learned of your teaching & coaching years ago.
Same
Totally with u!!
Women need to know their feminine power 💫😄💫
Thanks Jonathan. Very informative and helpful. great questions too!
Thanks for the book suggestion. I know someone who needs it.❤
Glad it was helpful!
Big giant hugs for you Jonathon 🐻❤️💋
Ha ha ha ... you’re awesome! You really say it the way it is. Thank you for all the five things you mentioned - yes, he’s all that into me because he’s been doing all that - I just realized! I’ve been watching all of your posts and learning greatly! Thank you 👏🏽❤👏🏽
I love how you smile and raise your arms and say I'm so excited! I did that with my babies and still find myself doing that when they come visit!!!❤
This guy is funny in the way he presents serious subject 😂 He really keeps my attention in an upbeat kind of way. This info has been very helpful ❤
Awe... thank you 😊
You say things well Jonathan. I didn't like the swearing but you make a lot of very good points and I'm listening despite the swearing. You recommend right at the beginning of your videos for us to quit watching if we don't like swearing and a variety of other things that will be said, which is good.
Ha! I am going to name my next sailboat “Situationship”.
HaHa!! Sounds like the title of a Murder Mystery, or Romantic Comedy?
The boat name will be two words: “Situation Ship” to emphasize the pun.
Thankyou for that story. I was involved in a text messaging ldr. Even though he was clear about not wanting to see me,I still went to visit him only to be turned away. It was devastating so I don't do online dating anymore.
I believe it too, Jonathon.
Great videos Jonathon...I love your no BS strait common sense... Thank you for sharing your gift 👍🏻😌🙏🏻
I appreciate that!
Excellent help sir thank you🥰
This is my big question!
I totally agree talking about politics and religion gives you a better perspective on who you are going to be in a relationship with totally totally agree lots of people don't want to talk about that and that can be that they're hiding something
SIR, IT WAS INSIGHTFUL AND I BELIEVE EXPERIENCE IS A GREAT TEACHER. ANYWAY, I DID NOT KNOW THESE THINGS WHEN I YOUNG BUT ANYWAY IT IS BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. THANK YOU...
Politics is a vetting conversation...you can learn a lot VERY fast.
Exactly 💯
its manpulation with people for big money
YEP! I’ve gotten to where I almost just sit back and let them eliminate themselves 😆
Yes it is!!! And ppl get mad at me when I talk about it with a potential date. Its a very relevant subject.
It’s really about whether or not you share the same morals and ethics.
Everything you said has been going in that order. Just haven't gotten to 5 yet. It's been 3 months so far. Since he is moving slow, it makes me slow down and be in the moment more with him.❤ thanks CZcams dad. Lol
Just found you. Some good nuggets here, thank you Mr. A💙
Awe... thank you 😊
You make me laugh the way you talk.
Love your channel ❤
Yay, thank you!
Love this beautiful life,thanks johnathon, your amazing ❤
Glad you enjoy it!
Excellent video. Thank you
Glad you liked it!
i enjoy your channel!💕
Happy Birthday Jonathan!!
Thank you for reminding me that I should not give my power away. 😊
Amen...
@Jenny G maybe cuz they're stupid? I don't know why... makes no sense to me 🙃
Jonathon,
I have learned to practice Compassionate Curiosity.
For Example, I ask my close friend (male) :
What are your Fears? How can I support you?
I believe in asking deeper questions just like you...
Thank You for being real, authentic and vulnerable with us. Thank You for sharing your insights.
You're in your masculine..
@@adj5767 we all have masculine and feminine energy within us- it's all about balance.
Response to the woman who had sex on the third date and he said he just wants to go with the flow: YES, that is absolutely a bad sign and a huge 🚩 !! without a doubt! I made the same mistake, had sex on third date and assumed we were in a relationship since we started regularly having sex (once a week) thereafter, only later to find out after 13 weeks, he was still on dating apps. His response: “I enjoy your company and was just going with the flow”That was a huge lesson learned! I will never be this naive again. Like Jonathon said, if the man doesn’t specifically mention exclusivity BEFORE trying to have sex with you (and you naively let him), he will simply continue on coasting. Therefore, you’ll have to be the one to bring it up and get clarity from the man.
It's really important to talk about religion and politics. I like to get that right out of the way in the beginning, so neither of us waste time. I ALSO wish someone dating my ex husband of ten years would drop me a DM!
👍
@Jenny G You were not equally yoked. That is a requirement for us Christians, especially if there are going to be children!
Goodmorning! Jonathan? I was in a on and of relationship for 4 years. I did all of what u said. Met his children and some of the families,went to his job and supported him in the horse racing world. Met some of his friends. The main problems I had with him is that he would out of the blue have outburst and cruse me out at times even did it in front of his friends. And then he never wanna talk about it at all as if I was to blamed for things he never wanna talk about it.. he says he cares because I met his families and friends.
Wake up..smell the coffee,sweetie..that is not appreciation
Wow mine came on so strong for the first 2 months and then the brakes came on and I’ve questioned why for the last 2 months now . This helped it make sense!!
As someone who has many male cousins and a brother, I've always been conscious of trying not to be "a clingy girlfriend." With my most recent ex that was often a misunderstanding.
I've seen that movie and even then thought, yep. The one who can get along more easily without the other is the one in control of the relationship.
Love your advice
Comfortable enough
Aware of consequences/bonding
Real intentions =/= not being used
Exclusivity
Safety
There is nothing cheesy at all about writing a poem or song for a love interest in my opinion. Maybe it's just me (since i'm an intense person); but i would consider a personal poem a huge, possibly impressive compliment.
I just wrote a poem for him lol.... and I was afraid to give it to him. He said he would like to read it.... and now because of this video I'm too nervous to do so. 🤣
I never invited him to MY home in 6 months!
I enjoy listening to you speak. Great advice is always a good thing. I like to peak in now and then to see and listen. I am definitely finding value in your lists, as in today's CARES. Hug of self love to myself and a virtual handshake ( well after all we're strangers so maybe an elbow bump works better 😅 kidding).
PS
My heart ached for the lady from Boston who flew to Arizona. Heartbreaking to realize just how cruel some people are ( I don't think he was innocent in his behavior resulting in her death). Carry on with your bad self Jonathan and enjoy the beach!
I was saddened to read the story as well... 🙏
I love this so very much.
Happy Birthday!!
Brilliant this is a masterpiece that you have developed here the open the minds and hearts I just want to say that I'm a very optimistic person but in most of your conversations or demonstrations it seem to not bring out the unrealistic part of believing and a relationship and I've faced so much of unrealistic people I know you mentioned in one of your CZcams's fantasy I don't fantasize but we run into men who put themselves on a pedestal even though they're not how do you deal with that or you run into men who enter their money more than they are into you but they are always asking you for something how do you deal with them.. it makes me angry and yet I don't want to miss out on maybe this person could be genuine but I just feel that when you meet someone and it's all about his money his lifestyle and what can a woman do for him the minute I meet another man and if he sounds anywhere like the other man and he he and he may be sincere but how do you tell difference if they're all about money I hear the word money and it's like I'm cutting him off I don't have no time to sit there and wonder if he is adequate to deal with reality but they may not be money.. these are not people that you're having sex with but they want that too and I want you to give them money to support them but they don't they don't give you support but they share what they have but not in a balanced way just here I made 90 he's your 30.com that sucks I have a nice day I enjoy your your input.. and it's an experience thank you..⭐
Oh no!! We agreed we only have to chat 2 times a week.. so I don’t know if he is into me while he was a retired person and always online daily.. but he doing all everything at home. He said he enjoyed talking to me too..
Thank you so much Jonathon for continuing to post these videos. I got myself into a terrible situation. I got involved with a narcissistic man in a loveless relationship with a woman 10 years older than him. He kept telling me that he would leave her. I stayed with him a year and 4 months, and he wouldn’t end it with her. I did fall hard for him unfortunately, I feel so incredibly stupid. I blocked him and I have really been trying to move on with my life the last 3 months. It’s been very hard, and my desperation and loneliness played a part in me getting involved in this. I am taking responsibility for my actions and learning to chase men no more. Thank you Jonathon
🙏
Never forget he was only an illusion, never the man you thought he was, no moral, no respect, lies and deceits was his true self and at the end you experienced all those emotions. He was an user from the start, my dear.
@@rayc9899 thank you so much for saying that Ray.. you are absolutely right. He was using me as an escape.. he was just avoiding his problems with his girlfriend. He never intended on dealing with those problems, just running from them. I should have seen from the start that he had way too much difficulty with the truth. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I really appreciate it !!
@@lauracordoba5888 I drove on the same road than you, he was using me to look good in public, a trophy girlfriend...WOW he make sure everybody new about us. At the end he thought he was going to get better and quest what...his girlfriend his trash the minute you see her...and she was abuse big time with a ex before she met him, sad life. Her father have 24 kids. Allo, no brain...
Stay strong 💪🏼 He took advantage of you being a good person with a good heart!!
I hope by now your feeling much better ❤
Finding a good man to marry and having all the prefect ingredients 4 love it’s like the winning lottery ticket usually filled with dreams only or if it happened it would wreck your life anyway
Introverts do not need to check in as much as other personality types
Hi Jonathan, I've gone back to listen to your previous posts to refresh my memory.
You are The Coach, that is why people are listening, asking for direction.
.
I was a little taken back to hear an expression ie 'you woman are emotionally stunted & immature' wow!
Different ways to announce feelings about Woman ie 'You Woman'. Discussing a very serious issue. I appreciate & understand that. You are stating facts that you feel strongly about.
You ask us to speak up, that is what I have done.
Noted
Thank you Jonathan I enjoyed this. I listened to this while painting my skirting boards and window sills 💖 from Australia xx
👍
I can’t with you so funny like my big brother love it!
omg my birthday is August 1st also!!!! Love your videos Jonathon!
WooHoo! to a fellow Leo
Hey J.
Agree with everything except one thing.. and several experts also say this just my opinion .. introducing someone to your children should only be with a person you wish To marry.. no need to keep introducing strangers (3-6 months of dating if you don’t know the future .. I wouldn’t want my kids to get attached to someone while we’re in dating stage.
Love the “keep swimming” slogan!!! I say it to myself now.
If your children met a man once or twice, do they attach that easily?
@@JonathonAslay they could. So many boys want a dad in their lives that if a guy came by and talked even 15 mins of sports or threw some pitches, yeah they can hook easily. Best to avoid the intro until much later
@@coastaldiva I think it largely depends on how old the children are. Are they 5-13 years old? Or are they college-aged? Makes a big difference
Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🎈🎁
All women should love their selves first before they can truly and purely love a significant partner. Self-confidence I imperative
Well happy birthday brother
I feel like 👍 No matter what age you are. And life path you are on in the time. We are evolving. Relationships at any level. I know should be easy to learn. But are Hard at times.
To cultivate and navigate in self love. And in relationships
Amen indeed. My boyfriend and myself are both Leo’s!
I agree with his assessment regarding emotional maturity and emotional development; however, plenty of people who are in relationships also have emotional maturity/emotional development issues too
Yes...
Comment from what you shared a LONG time ago....you mean that someone actually shares the SAME tastes I do in movies? Guess that means I'm not completely strange! lol Love and best to you Jonathon!
OOOh yes, to 'interview' the persons around the new contact, inclusive the 'ex-spouse', would be great!! Should be one of the first questions'if I asked your ex.., what would she say about you?' :-))
Happy birthday 🎉🎵🍾