Kafka asagiri, the writer of bungo stray dogs, said something really interesting in an interview that talked about the target audience he wants to reach.''this story is not for people who are good at living. In this world there exist people who are so good at living that they do not need a ''story'' at all. They are the ones who think that stories are, after all, just a pastime for your hobbies, that they are not necessary for living, and therefore it is a waste to spend money on such things. I did not assume such people to be my readers from the beginning. I cut them off. On the other hand, there are certainly people who need stories like oxygen still. I always hoped Bungo Stray Dogs will become the oxygen for such people.
Haven't even finished the video yet but I'm so happy bsd is getting more attention 😭😭😭 too bad special interests are INTOXICATING (I say this as someone who also has bsd as a spin/hyperfix)
i can't get diagnosed so i can't say 'same' but bsd ruined my life 😭 when my family/friends got sick of me i created a whole entire discord server just to spam myself things relating to bsd. i watched, rewatched, read, reread, scoured the internet, devoured every bit of fan content i could get my hand on to keep that brainrot gear well oiled. every single social media had bsd plastered all over it, i couldn't get into one single conversation without something reminding me of bsd causing me to spiral into hour long tangents that barely made sense and/or i'd save it to manically rant to myself on my server. before that was your lie in april and i'd finish it just to go back and put it on and rewatch over and over until my family banned me from watching (except on aprils 😭) friendships have certainly withered over this and i love bsd sososo much but ffs i wish i could like it and still be a functional person who doesn't hardwire at the mention of it. obsessions are exhausting 😔
My issue is I get a lot of special interest at once. Like I want to draw my ocs I want to create Aus I want to draw fanart I want to write So many things at once. And I end Up not doing any of It and It frustrates me to no end. But I cant choose because all those things are equaly important in my mind, all of them ocupy mi thoughts 90% of the time. I have this urge to be productive but I can't give time to any of my special interests and hyperfixations. It sucks.
As an autistic artist myself, I *greatly* relate to this. And hilariously Bungo Stray Dogs is one of my biggest special interests lately. It can definitely impact me greatly, especially in my art
My special interests hit me like a truck. I draw so much fanart and write so much fic. I can and will talk my special interests for hours no matter what.
Fun fact: did you know that a man named Tomo K actually co-created Bungo Stray Dogs? He works on a lot of other popular animes but he prefers for his identity to remain secret. It has only recently been revealed that he has contributed to multiple popular anime and mangas because of leaks in the system.
Special interests hurt so much. I can't stop talking about my special interests. When I go home after a conversation I monopolised with my interests, I hate on myself so much.
I don’t have Autism but I actually relate to this, I had an pokemon interest since I was 10 years old, and an Art interest since I was 4, all i did was talk and draw about it, I even drew this pfp because my favorite pokemon is mimikyu.
Same. Dunno if pokemon is a special interest for me but ive also liked it since i was a kid. And recently got fixated on N and all i can do is draw and write about him
I relate to this on a whole different level. When im hyperfixated on something, especially the first times, all I can think about day to night is that thing. My mind constantly thinks about that interest, show or media. Im on pinterest looking at fanart, im on reddit looking at memes, on the fandoms wiki, on ao3 and hell even all I can draw or write is about them. I have so many ideas, but no time or skill for them and it slowly kills me. It comes to a point that when u saw a fanart, u feel motivated and bad at the same time cuz people can express their interest better than u. But then I feel stupid cuz damn thats just a show or game bro chill😭
I can definitely relate to this comment but I do want to say that if you have ideas for drawings, but feel like your not good enough, just draw them. I've had many ideas for drawings in the past that I waited on doing because I also felt I couldn't achieve the look I wanted with my skill level but never ended up doing to this day despite being proud of my current skill level and the drawings I make now. Even if your skill level is like god-tier masterpieces or somethin, you'll still try to latch on to the mindset that you're still not good enough to draw those ideas. Don't let it hold you back, and you can always go back and redraw a piece you're not proud of. Doing that will visually show you how far you've come in your improvement as an artist and boost your self confidence. That's what I do anyway and sorry for the long essay comment lmaoo :P
As an autistic artist who has shit ton of special Interests, i never actually had this happen to me like at all i learned to balance them and the rest of my stuff perfectly fine, i can focus and do multiple thing's at once, personal art, fan art, interest art you name it and i am able to balance them perfectly well the only ironic thing is, i also happen to have ADHD and get distracted easily so having that as a bonus to my special interest serve as balancing through distractions.
I am 16 and in high school and got diagnosed with ocd last year. I deal with the same issue, one of my obsessions being art, to the point where I was extremely stressed whenever I was doing anything that wasn't art, I couldn't go out with friends, watch series, read (something I deeply love), without feeling like I was doing something unnimportant, therefore it was really impacting everything else, including my health, as I got wrist strain injury and am dealing with the aftermath even now. I am doing better, but there is still a long way to, as I am gathering new obsessions every once in a while. My current one is TGCF and to this day, I managed to convince a lot of my friends to read it, so now I can share my feelings with them lol.
You might ask if there are diagnosis that would fit better than OCD, hyper fixations are a key feature of Autism and ADHD. In girls especially, misdiagnosis of Autism and ADHD are super common, mainly as OCD and Bipolar disorders. The coping skills and medications are different and treating one as the other can be detrimental to your body in the long run. I highly recommend asking your doctor, researching those disorders extensively, looking through medical journals, and making sure as much as possible that your sure of what’s going on with your brain. The younger you are, the more it will help you to do this in your future. 😊
the art as a special interest segment rang so true to me! i spent and still spend my whole life thinking about making art every chance i get, or anything connected to the process of making art. i spend unreasonable ammounts of time just consuming possible references when my motor skills deter me from making too much art ;v; it really has been a crucial part of my identity my whole life, and it is a rather strange thing to find out that fact may be connected to the autism :P it's fun tho edit: oh my god. the video gets more relatable by the SECOND. projects that pay off long term feel so unrewarding to work on, it's insane!
I'm not diagnosed with autism, but I can really relate because whenever I like something my life revolves around it that's all I talk about. and it can honestly get in the way of everything. right now I'm so hyper-fixated on jujutsu kaisen to the point where I'm even noticing it's not normal
I do this exact same thing. My main ones being Bungou Stray Dogs, Chainsaw Man and Soul Eater. Anytime my siblings ask anything related to it, I have to fight the urge to go on a tiraid on details and such.
I'm autistic and bungo stray dogs is also one of my special interests, I'm also an artist (even if a bad one at that lol) so I completely get it. I also have a webcomic I continuously think about and plan, I have a whole world built and so many fleshed out characters but I can't seem to draw or write it because all I can do is write and draw bsd fanart and fanfiction... I can't even "study" art, even though I love doing it more than anything, unless it's relating to my special interest. Like, if I'm going to study anatomy I need to find a way to make it fanart or else it's unbearably boring. Yet... if it weren't for my passion for my special interests.... I would've never have drawn or written anything in the first place, so... I don't think it's holding me back, I think it's quite the opposite. If I didn't obsess over it I would've never gotten so much practice in the first place. I see a lot of people that draw "just for fun", you know, as a hobby, and they just don't have the same drive ig... people are always surprised by how much I progressed in so little time, even my drawing teacher (a class I forced myself to take lol) was shocked and didn't believe me. Yeah, I wish I could do other things... Special interests completely isolate me from everyone else and it sucks, I wish I could regulate it but... where would I even get joy from if not from them? I can't seem to think of myself without spins, even if they are a curse, specially when it comes to relationships. I don't even care that much when it comes to art... I just wish I could tone it down and have normal conversations with people, then I wouldn't be so much of an outcast. Anyways, I was drawing Dazai fanart while listening to your video and just stopped it to write this comment lol, but I relate to it a lot, thanks
I relate to this so much. The last 12-ish years of my life have been completely dedicated to The Legend of Zelda. I've played every game at least twice, read every manga, spent hours translating obscure Japanese interviews, scoured the internet for any Zelda related content, and filled numerous sketchbooks just with fanart of Zelda characters. I've lost numerous friends over this "you never talk about anything else" and my academic and other personal work has suffered so much for it. There are so many projects that I just can't bring myself to do, and even though tloz brings me immense happiness I feel like it's trapping me and I'll never have proper relationships, a job, or the ability to work on other things.
I’ve never related to something so hard before. My special interests can change so easily. Sometimes, I’ll even bounce back to previous Special interests when I don’t find anything new. What makes this whole process worse is that I’m an art student, and so much of my school art work takes up so much of my time, I can barely work on stuff for myself. And with the special interests, there’s so much I want to draw, but I can only do so much in one drawing session. I have so many concept drawings and notes that usually stay concepts, because I always have other things to draw, school related or otherwise. This video really shed some light on things for me. Keep up the great work. P.s. BSD is my special interest too ❤
This is exactly how I feel! But because I spend so much time on it for school, I'm mostly even too tired to do anything else which I really feel has been impacting my art even though I want to have new ideas and create..
I saw a quote that said "the longer you stray, the more you'll want to stay." Reminding myself of that helps me when I find myself getting pulled too deep into something that's taking over my life.
this is SO relatable. im a writer, and my current hyperfixation is omori. i cant write anything that isnt omori related anymore. i havent written anything for my story with my original characters since i got into it, i cant write fanfiction for other fandoms im in like heartstopper, and if i try to start a story that isnt omori related i lose interest. omori consumes my every thought and i love writing for it, but it really sucks that i cant do anything but that
My day job causes me to he stressed and fatigued enough that art feels like a job. That's why I'm trying so hard to not go through burnout right now. My parents had to give up the cover coverband dream to take care of us and now all they do is work and don't really take time to do their hobbies anymore. I feel that tug to just try to stay afloat paying bills etc I may have to stop all my hobbies for a while to try and get ahead on life in general but don't want to work 40 plus hours a week the rest of my young part of my life. 😅
I'm really into Bsd too right now, I started cosplaying more because of it, drawing and posting more about my channel. Before it was Bsd, I had a mha phase, I still like it but now I really love Bsd and mostly watch stuff with it. I'm not diagnosed or anything but I just wanted to say how I relate to some of what you said. Honestly, I'm kind of scared of loosing interest like with mha how I switched from that to Bsd, even tho I still like other things.
this is so real my entire life revolves around bsd. most stuff is boring if it's not related to it. 90% of what i draw is fanart of it, it's not as fun talking to people if they don't know what it is/don't know what happens, i cosplay characters from it, most of my outfits are themed around characters from it, i think about it 24/7, i relate everything back to it (luckily it helps in english), i have a collection of the manga, i spend so much money on merch of characters from it, i am extremely obsessed with fyodor (i have 4 plushies of him and plan to get more soon), my devices are themed around it, i have playlists for the characters, i post about it almost daily, almost all of my profiles on sites are themed around it, i have OCs for it, i get extremely excited whenever i see anything relating to it, and a lot of my day is spent viewing content about it. it consumes my life. it sucks sometimes, but it makes me happy knowing that i have so much love in my heart for something, and it's nice having something that can so easily make me happy or cheer me up. my only issue is that my brain picked a pretty sad series to like so much 😭😭
I am so glad to have found this today. I just spent the night crying over my art, how I wish I could work on projects I want to but how it is so tedious to do so because it's not about my favorite characters. I really hate how my interests and fanart are what made my social media grow because now I feel like nobody will care about my original content and only engage in fan content instead. I spend hours staring at a blank canvas, trying to decide whether to do what I like or what will get me more engagement. I know it's unhealthy but the purpose of my art is to share it and it's my only form of income for now since I'm in uni. I'd love to get commissions, sell merch and post often to help my mother with expenses, but I can't...
BSD is also my special interest, and for the past year or so, I've only been drawing Sigma because of how much I adore her, I almost exclusively draw Sigma with either whoever I ship her with or in pretty dresses that I've found on pinterest.
i just finished the video and im so glad that im not the only one who deals with the same struggles. my special interests keeps on holding me back from drawing very often, especially theatre. theatre takes up so much of my time that i barely have anything else to do at the end of the day (aka not doing art). i used to be so passionate about my art but now since theatre has been taking up so much time, i can barely draw anymore. which dramatically slowed my process of improving my drawings. i have so many ideas and stories i want to do but i simply cant with all of my special interests. great video, it made me feel seen and heard :)
Oh boy, this video really spoke to me on a universal level. Back in elementary and middle school I was super obsessed with super Mario and the powerpuff girls and would talk about and draw fanart of those franchises all the time. It used to irritate the absolute heck out of my classmates and some of my real life friends. Even if I got picked on a lot for it, I still don’t regret those times because I ended up meeting some amazing friends that shared my interests. However, I do wish I chilled out a bit and actually tried to find ways to improve my art because my drawings sucked, lol. I still tend hyperfixate on stuff such as Genshin Impact ‘til this day, however not as intense since I’m an adult now lol.
I get losing friends or growing distant from people. I, personally, like physics, specifically atoms and all that. There’s also astronomy too. Though people around my age don’t have that sort of interest. I wanna talk about it, but it’s always a topic people never care for. It damages relationships- not being able to find people you properly connect with. I’m not on the spectrum or anything, physics and astronomy is just stuff I’ve found interesting. It’s a curiosity of wanting to learn more, and I find it cool to get a proper grasp on things rules and logic. Though I don’t have people around me that share the same amount of curiosity and interest. It creates a rift between me and my peers- a line that defines me from them, even if it isn’t physically there. Overall, I might not understand this type of struggle as much as others, though I get it to some extent. It’s bothersome not having anyone else sharing that same level of interest.
ugh I feel you, my boyfriend got me into final fantasy XIV because its his spcial interest and despite having no desire to play it when my many other friends asked me to his earnest request made me wanna play it with him because I love him and I love spending time with him. I have made it about halfway through Shadowbringers so far and its definitely become my new special interest. and while its inspired me to try to draw humanoids again (after drawing pretty much nothing but ponies and unicorns for over 10 years) I can't draw anything else without getting burnt out and im not super good at my humanoids just yet so I have been doing ponified fanart in between practicing human anatomy all because I wanna draw a smelly elf man I keep rotating in my head named Estinien
This is the most relatable video I've ever watched, I gained a new special interest a few months ago. I thought I'd get back to my own original comics and art and my other fan projects after spending time on a few pieces based on my new interests but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen any time soon. I'm in so deep now I've started collecting merch, art books, albums, figures, making comics, fanart, ocs and dedicated blogs and even gotten tattooed. Honestly the worst part is the self criticism, not being able to just enjoy something without feeling like I'm wrong for having fun.
this hit so hard esp the art part bc i thought i was the only one who obsessively draws endless pieces on one special interest, to the point where no other art feels fulfilling anymore. its so tough to want to enjoy drawing other things, having so many references saved, but only being motivated to do art if i twist it into related to the thing currently keeping my brain hostage
Oh my god I relate to this so hard, I want to work on my original worlds but I’m currently hyper fixated on other medias that if I draw anything other than it, it feels like a chore and I get burned out way faster.
I relate to this so much. I don’t really talk about my special interests online anymore because people made fun of me. But mine are the music artist Chonny Jash and the lore of his characters, Heathers/Heathers The Musical, the emo/scene subculture and red pandas. I have a lot of them so I’m able to have more diverse conversations but people still get bored of me talking about red pandas and why I kin JD and The Heart. I even used to name myself after my favorite characters like back why I identified as a girl and loved Tangled The Series I named myself Cassandra and was obsessed with swords and fighting. I couldn’t draw anything that wasn’t related to Heathers or Tangled The Series for awhile. And it drove a lot of people away. But my true friends stayed and even bonded with me more because of my interests like my now boyfriend who loves listening to me talk about my special interests and talking about his with me (we’re both on the spectrum).
@@Retsiger omg awesome! I absolutely hate people who will call lines from his songs ‘tiktok audios’ and show the heart’s lines talking about their villain OC’s. Like as a reference the line from the bidding ‘and here he is the piece of shit, sitting seething high atop his stolen throne’ like I’ve seen so many people call that a tiktok audio and use it to describe their villain OC’s without realizing that the person he is describing isn’t actually a villain. (Sorry for ranting I just needed to get that shiz off my chest).
i was about to take back a comment but seeing you actually talk abt what u like made me feel like i'm not alone in terms of the type of stuff i like😭😭 thank u for not being like me
Oof. All of this is so relatable, as far as being dicked around by your brain in an unfathomable way. Certainly not the same and I claim no direct comparison, but I've got ADHD, so my "special interest" phase comes in shorter bouts of "hyper focus"... and those are soooo blissful while they're happening (but sadly for much shorter durations--maybe a few days or at best weeks), but when they're over, I immediately lose all interest in that special interest. Sometimes for years or forever. So I'm surrounded by a bunch of unfinished passions I used to love more than life, and they really helped me get through the dayjob days, but now they feel like dead chores to me--similar to the art unrelated to your special interests that you talked about having to do. And sometimes I don't find the next thing for a long while after the thing I loved ceases to produce dopamine. It's why I can't have an art-related career to support myself and I have a really difficult time finding a tribe or community. It's quite frankly brain torture. And I'm in my 40s so this has been a long road of working with this condition to make it not hit so hard when it does this, but... this is the brain I was born with and it's a rollercoaster. It helps to know that I'm not alone (not that "misery loves company" is ever a good sentiment), but I personally love to see your fire and passions about whatever it happens to be, even if I'm not into the specific fandom myself, because its cathartic to experience your special interests especially when I'm going through a no-passion period. I'm personally here for you, Celestia, because you are authentic and talk about these very real things that ppl in my real life certainly don't.
You have no idea how happy that friggin Fyodor drawing in the background made me. (My special interest is BSD and i am obsessed with the rat man to an unhealthy amount pls send help)
I’m dealing with a similar situation right now, and it’s rough. Mostly because I’m embarrassed and sometimes ashamed in my interest. Right now, it’s Welcome Home, and I think about it constantly. The nice thing is that I’m actually making art because of it. I’m doing some animation practice too, which is great because that’s something I want to get better at, but I feel guilty for not working on personal art and projects. When I try to work on that stuff I’m always trying to wrap it back into my interest, and I also compare myself to the creators of things I like so I convince myself I’ll never be as good as them. It’s unhealthy, and I hope I find a way to enjoy my interest without feeling bad about it.
I really relate to this omg. My special interests had always made my school life and art journey harder and it's the first time I see a video that express this so accurately. I only enjoy drawing if it's related to Charly García (my current special interest) and it feels bizarre how just a week of not being able to engage with his art and stuff related to him made me so miserable. I'm ending the school year rn, so I couldn't just don't sleep for an entire night investigating and listening to his music. I couldn't make time in my day to doddle him or watch a vid or a documentary about him. It feels truly debilitating to not have joy in life the moment I don't engage with the work of someone I never met. And obviously this affected my art due to the feeling of burnout and the lack of interest in my other projects. I even have a group project with a friend I have been neglecting recently for this and I feel SO, SO GUILTY.
I can relate so much, BSD has actually taken over my thinking to the point I will actually get in trouble at school because I can't pay attention since I'm to busy drawing it or thinking about, I see a way to make time to talk about and ge no joy from drawin OCs I want to draw
As someone with ADHD who is often regarded irl as ‘the person who knows everything about mental illness’ this was very helpful for putting in perspective what having a special interest is actually like and how that can be explained, which i really appreciate :D This isn’t related directly but something it made me think about is how sometimes i get rlly insecure of feeling like i’m not ‘neurodivergent enough’, which a large part of is feeling like my hyperfixations arent ‘strong’ enough and how i feel like i dont do any actual cool or crazy stuff with them which i feel i see other nd people do all the time because i just cant find the time, focus, and motivation (usually 1 or 2 but never all 3) to really sit down and learn literally everything (/exaggerated) abt smth or make more than a doodle. i have enough strategies, self control, n medication to (most often) complete all necessary work first/when i have to and then get so exhausted from that i dont feel like doing more than watching a few YT videos and even just opening a platform in order to access a show or webnovel/comic im super interested in and think is really cool and i really want to watch/read feels like too much (task paralysis). which is all technically very neurodivergent of me but its less interesting to talk abt so i dont think of it that way. anyway bsd is one of my latest hyperfixations (and is like, almost 2 years strong at this point time is wild??? it feels like its only been a multi-day fever dream) which is the only reason this video got sent to my watch later hell :D i managed to watch the first season and 2 episodes over the course of like 3 months with my friend, read i think maybe 3 or 4 chapters of the manga and the first section of the first chapter of a fan translation of dark era, and absorb all of the information i actually really care about from animatics, gcrvs (dont ask), a few tiktok comps, ao3, and the very occasional twitter thread. i still promise myself im gonna read it eventually tho n i put the first volume of the manga & 15 manga and the first light novel on my christmas wishlist so im praying that my family is going to take the hint of how ive definitely brought it up at least 3 times to all of them even if i almost never talk to them and give it to me so having the physical thing makes me feel more obligated to read it. that you for this video n the best of luck navigating neurotypical late capitalism hell :D
I know exactly what you mean. I have adhd and my current hyperfixation is the movie Aladdin (The animated one, not the bad live action one lol). People have gotten somewhat annoyed and I even overheard a friend saying “Bro devotes his whole life to Aladdin”. Me and my dad both love Aladdin though so he’s one of the people I can actually talk to about it. I literally used to have a phase where all I would draw was Aladdin fanart. So yeah
You totally get it and explain it so well esp w the unhealthy relationship w art its so tiring snd consuming but you just have to do it or else you feel like a completely failure and down spiral into a horrible depresson over just not drawing for one day
"I wish I could enjoy things in moderation" that hit home hard, my current hyperfixation is thai dramas and in 3 months I have finished 43 series (318 hours in total). I'm a senior and I need to be working on my portfolio but all I can think about is finishing or starting a series, if I can’t watch them during the day I stay awake or wake up early in order to watch them (I had my first ever all nighter just to finish a series because it was too exciting and I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to finish it). My hyperfixations always disturb my daily life, when I was hyperfixated on anime's just like dramas as soon as I finished one I would start another. Idk how to manage my adhd
I relate to this so much, like I have so many things I want to do so badly but like I can’t. I simultaneously find things very entertaining and an absolute chore at the same time, and whenever I find out someone likes something that I’m obsessed with I can’t stop talking to them about it. Although it’s probably a different since I’m not autistic
Listen. When I was younger, I deadass thought it was NORMAL to get so deeply into yout interests that you need to interact with them in some way every day or you get really upset. It's normal for me, of course, but knowing that many people can just casually enjoy something and not obsess over it constantly? Blows my mind. I'm glad that I can usually work on both fanart and personal art because both have me obsessed to no end, but I totally get your point here. ;; The "worst" thing? I don't want to be less obsessed with my interests. They make me feel good, and why should we not be allowed to feel good?
As a fellow autistic who was OBSESSED with Death Note back in the day (cosplay, hundreds of fanarts, fanfics, talking about it nonstop, memorizing the characters' birthdays, etc), I relate to this so very much. I'm actually rediscovering my Death Note fondness this year, but trying to stay a little more low-key about it (wish me luck, I'm already wanting to re-read the entire manga and to study the art style all over again...)
This is exactly the video I needed right now omggg like right now I'm so hyperfixated on Bungo Stray Dogs and like even though I'm not autistic (i think help) I do have adhd and this whole video was just such a mood!! like I definitely could be working on art that benefits me financially like commissions or working on the work I have for college, but literally, the only thing that makes me happy right now is to draw Dazai obsessively. Or write fanfics centered around Dazai. Or literally, do anything that pertains to Dazai and it's actually so fulfilling but also so draining 24/7 TT I always forget that it's okay to be like this and this video helped me remind me that it is alright and I'm not alone :))
i got into bungo stray dogs when it wasnt popular and my way of engaging with stuff i like is that i try to talk to everyone about it and my bestfriends got really tired of hearing about it because i just wouldnt shut up but i also couldnt find a big community at the time because it was before it was really popular, and then when it became popular the fandom scared me
i haven’t been diagnosed with autism, but i can relate a lot to the special interests 😭 nearly every time i get into something new my art will focus solely on that and i will spend copious amounts on merchandise etc and then leave it behind when I find the next thing..
Lmao i was not expecting to see Dazai and Chuuya in my notifications, ive been fixated on bsd for the past two months now. Ive loved the show for years, i mostly use it for references like perspective and scenery though. Luckily i somewhat found my style before i got in deep lmao!
I'm so glad you made this video because this is something I've been struggling with for years. For a long time, I felt so bad for not creating any personal art that didn't involve my special interests to the point I was very disappointed in myself. But I couldn't help that anything I drew that didn't involve my special interests made me unhappy. It's a tough situation to be in but hopefully someday I'll find that balance.
I totally understand. BSD was a special interest for me for long while to the point where I actually adopted bits of the anime style into my art (along with jjk manga around the same time but that was more liking the line art lol) And honestly, thank fuck the fandom got so bad I couldn’t bring myself to engage with it anymore cause I probably would’ve sunk SO much money into it. Now all I draw is FFVII and BG3 🫠my brother is so fed up with me lmao
whenever people complain about me being annoying with my special interests, I just point out that I have to live with myself, so imagine how I feel LOL. As you said, I may love the thing, but sometimes I know I need to chill, but CAN'T chill.
Dude honestly, I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or any disorder, but I have this problem too. I only ever enjoy art when I’m drawing something that I hyperfixate and obsess over and while I love the stuff I create for my interests it’s wearing me down. I have so many ocs that I love just as much and wanna draw or put into a story I’ve been planning for YEARS. But it always feels like I’m forcing myself to draw them for variety whenever I do actually draw them(or cause of my parents, which is a whole can of worms I’m not gonna get into in a yt comment section-) I’m kinda relieved that I’m not the only one who’s like this though, i though I was just lazy or something honestly and for a while I really hated myself and everything I created because of this. Thanks for this video though, I never considered this might just be something out of my control.
I was absolutely obsessed with undertale all throughout middle school. I had a whole group of friends that all were interested in undertale, and I was that designated artist of the group since I drew so much of it. In conversations, I would quote it and make references to it constantly. My parents probably know so much about the lore and story with how much I talked about it. And the sketchbooks, there are so many of them. A lot of kids outside of the friend group said I was obsessed and had a problem... This kind of reminds me of that. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I kind of relate. It's just nice to hear I'm not alone in this. Thanks for the video, Celestia. Bleh ramble over
As an neurodivergent writer, I flip between no motivation and nonstop writing. I also roleplay constantly. The character changes almost daily from only a few select works. Like maybe five of them. That, combined with my psychology hyperfixation, leads to it using 90% of my free time. I'll forgo eating to work on them.
i may not be diagnosed with autism but i do relate to that,i have these fandoms or things i obsessed over from a period time and i am also currently engaging with bongou stray dogs as a current obsession to poin that,that is what i only talk about in my friend group,same goes to previous topics i have devotedly obsessed over
OH MY GOD SO IT ISN’T JUST ME THAT SPIRALS INTO DEPRESSION WHEN I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND SWITCHES THROUGH THEM 😭 (Also its also nice to see another neurodivergent person with a special interest on Durarara and BSD) EDIT: HOLY GUACAMOLE IS THAT FYODOR!?!?
Just got into bsd, like last week, and I'm already on season 2... Anime is one of my special interests as well as video games and are always looking for new friends to talk about it, I started to do more art and cosplay and write about it, but like there's so much I want to do, but been like I can do it later, rn HYPERFIXATION. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and adhd, which gives me these fixations, it gives me so much comfort, where I study the lore and all the little nooks and crannies of the media I'm obsessed with, from character design to backgrounds, to lore, using my money to buy a ton of merch and all the things related to it. I'm so thankful that I have family willing to listen to it and have some friends willing to stick with me despite me teaching them the whole mlp lore, despite their lack of interest...
While not to this degree, i can certainly relate. My special interest is Sonic the Hedgehog and so wheneve i try to draw something my mind is flooded with Sonic ideas i want to do and i constantly browse forums and twitter posts about Sonic. The part about making art you want to instead of your interest rings so true, theres so original ideas and stories i have that i want to start on but i cant help but feel like im stifled to always work on Sonic which does put a limit on whay i do.
I'm not on the spectrum but I had a really bad BSD phase like a year ago 💀 like I used to go on ao3 every day for hours reading fanfiction 😭 it got so bad at one point I knew at which point did one day of fanfics being posted start and one end and I would read every single one 💀 I read like 200 fanfics in one day bc I was just that obsessed lmaoo
I have this exact problem, but my timeframes are shortened due to my attention span. I have ADHD in combination with my autism and so I have to keep things rotating every week or two. I don’t control what I fixate on, or when, I just have to meet the timeframe or I fall into depression. It almost got me a bipolar diagnosis, until I figured out how to cope with it. I fixate most on people and characters, so every two weeks I peek through my favorite characters and pick out the one that pops out most, letting my brain fall into whatever media it’s from for the next two weeks. I have so many on my list now that it’s easy to keep it up, never getting bored and depressed.
Oof. Yeah. I feel the inability to enjoy things casually. If I ever end up in something--same thing. I go lore diving and find everything I can out about it--draw, write it, etc. There's no escape. It becomes my life. I have my own original story idea I've been plotting since the late 90s and only about over 15 yrs ago did I finally feel the right path to take with character designs, ideas, etc, but it's so challenging to stay focused on something that's 100% me. But I did make some of the characters in my story an amalgamation of characters and things I am already hugely fixated on in other fandoms. It super helps my drive. It might not drive me forward as swiftly as I want, but it nudges me way better than before. ♥
I relate to this on an ungodly level. I have ASD level 2 and ADHD, and I have a select few special interests that I ping-pong between anywhere from as long as multiple months each (maybe a year if lucky) or the span of a week. I would be obsessed with Genshin to the point everything I surrounded myself with was Genshin, then a few months later, suddenly a switch just flips, my interest completely disappears and I'm obsessed with BSD... again. The switch isn't gradual; it's basically instantaneous, to the point where no one else can keep up. It's to the point where I can basically never guarantee anything because I have no idea when that switch will happen, and honestly it sucks. I have considered the prospect of commissions when I've improved on my art, but even then I cannot even guarantee that I would complete them knowing that it would only take one day for me to completely lose interest and end up never finishing it. Another thing, and this comes to any word-heavy content, is that I struggle to read; my brain really struggles to process what I am reading to the point where it has to read the same exact sentence over and over again just to understand what it means. Simultaneously it just wants to skip ahead and often drifts off into reading texts on the next page before I'm even finished the former one. This makes reading for extended periods of time a living hell, especially if my brain is already currently distracted or not fully clear to think (which is basically 99% of the day). It gets really infuriating and was the reason I stopped reading so suddenly.
Did you know Bungo stray dogs has a game? It's fun, but it forces you to take breaks too I'm not diagnosed with Autism, but I do have a massive hyper fixation with bungo stray dogs. To the point that most of the things I talk about is either Chuuya or bsd. I don't mind it that much, and my friends see it as something that's normal about me, but it's very upsetting when I'm scrolling AO3 to find new fics to read only to find out I've read all of them with this tag I like so much
Yeah I understand you I deal with that all the time it is really hard sometimes though I even got in a lot of drama with my family from one of special interest
I can relate to obsessions over special interests super well. I am currently not professionally diagnosed with autism (though I apparently have been showing symptoms of it for years and plan on getting tested when I am an adult) but I have had special interests that had taken over my life. While I've had quiet a few that lasted months to a year each, I've got three that lasted/are currently lasting years, which I call the Big Three Obsessions: Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu when I was in elementary school, Bendy and the Ink Machine when I was in middle school and a freshman, and my current obsession for the past two and a half years, Omori. And just like you described, I needed to know EVERYTHING about each and everyone one of them, would talk about them for days, drew fanart constantly, read the wikis until my eyeball fell out, watched CZcams animations, etc etc. (Okay but the Bendy one was bad. Really embarrassing xD) But I love them so much, and Omori will most likely continue to be an obsession for at least another couple years, especially with the new manga adaptation. (But seriously, you should see all the Omori content I have saved throughout CZcams, Pinterest, Wattpad, etc, and I have three sketchbooks so far full of Omori fanart.) Okay I'm rambling so I'm going to leave now bye.
one of my 'special interests' happens to be 2 of my OCs--one day i'll be fixated on one of them, the next day it's the other, & most of the time it will just be both of them. And i'm not diagnosed with anything, but i can heavily relate to this- if what I'm drawing doesn't relate to one of those characters in some way, it feels like a chore to draw that thing :( even if that thing happens to be another OC of mine, or some other character I happen to like, I just can't get the same joy out of it if it's not one of the 2. I have multiple special interests, but these characters have ultimately taken over my life... for better or worse. To the point where most of my new ideas surround them, I'm always thinking of them in different scenarios, I'm able to associate 75% of the music I listen to with them, and most of my other favorite fictional characters have something in common with them. It's honestly hard even trying to make up a story for a different character at this point. :,) If I like a new idea a lot, there's a huge chance I'll apply it to one of those characters. But at the same time, it's not like I can _control_ what makes me happy, and those characters really do. Even if they're not the coolest characters I know, and they have a lot of flaws that only I can fix, they're the most special creations to me and I'm totally obsessed with them. And I feel pretty stuck, because just like you, I want to wanna draw other things but I simply can't bring myself to & enjoy it. Like I said, I haven't been diagnosed with anything so I can't tell for sure what might be 'wrong with me', but I want you to know that this video is really comforting and relatable to me and a lot of people, so thank you for making it. You're helping us all feel seen and valid
BSD has been my special interest for years now, and I’ve basically built my career off of it. But my hyper fixation often gets in the way, because sometimes I’ll try to draw or make something for someone else, or something unrelated to BSD or my other special interest anime, it often doesn’t look as good because my heart isn’t in it as much. It’s also hard to communicate with other people without referencing BSD, and I don’t have any friends who like it, so my jokes about never make any sense to other people
My special interest was botw/totk for a LOOOOOOOONG time (still is just going through serious burnout lately) and it was to the point where I couldn’t do chores or anything ‘boring’ without having a botw/totk ambience video playing. I also have had the molduga theme on repeat 24/7 when I’m drawing and I’ve memorized every plant/character/ elixir/ food etc in these games.
I related to this video so much, I have many hyper fixations and I agree with your points, they COMPLETELY take over my brain. I don’t want to draw anything else other than my hyper fixations to the point where drawing original works and characters for my art school or if I had to submit a portfolio is hard and tedious. I do it sometimes because I feel like I have to and I do like what I make but then my brain goes right back to those hyper fixations, not to mention jumping back and forth between them. It gets very exhausting and sometimes I feel like my creativity is in a rut or I just have way too many ideas that I can’t make all at once and end up staring projects and abandoning them for others. This was 200% relatable, (also YES SOMEONE ELSE WHO LOVES WE HAPPY FEW IM OBSESSED WITH THAT GAME! lol great video, sorry for the long comment 😅)
I have same exact thing that you are talking about. For me for a very long time was a switch between all dark souls and blood borne games, as well as legend of zelda. My interest in dark souls even more prevelent, i bought art books, music, figurines, and heck an artorias sword letter opener. I love all the soulsborne games to a frighten degree. I funnel all that interest into an creative endeavor. I use those games and the witcher to create my own world and characters. I read even the myths and folk lore behind the creation of the places in the games. So yea, i totally understand what your talking about of special interests.
This applies to me so much... I promised myself I'd never write a fanfic and now I've decided to write a BSD fanfic... Autism is a double-edged sword so it's difficult
I don’t have autism but it’s honestly so hard to draw anything that isn’t the series or game im obsessed with atm 💀💀 trying to draw anything else is so BORINNGGG
628 hours is wild, I would have probably done the same thing for this one game Oxenfree if my phone didn't give up on me I've replayed the game like 3 times already
Oof. This is a relatable one Warrior cats was my special interest between the ages of 10-14 and now I know how to draw cats and only cats 💀and even now that it’s cooled down somewhat cats are still an omnipresent special interest so I don’t even really get the urge to draw non-cats Personally my trick for ‘I want to do this but there is so dopamine produced’ is to somehow connect it to my special interest, regardless of how little it makes sense. I kept myself interested in my original characters by effectively connecting them to characters from the current special interest (like those fanfics where it’s character set a re-enacts plot b, or like the oc took a ‘which character from special interest are you’ quiz) Also y’all know that ‘oh no, it’s happening again’ (or, alternatively ‘oh yes, it’s happening again’) feeling when a new special interest is on the horizon? Feeling that for rain world right now
this is so real it's been very weird bc for the past like 5 years one of my main interests has been my goofy little characters in their goofy little world. but the issue came in when it didn't feel like i had anyone else to talk about it with yo that was a _time_ -i say like it wasn't like two weeks ago-
i also have very obsessive special intrest. But whats diffrent is that i usually have up to 5 at a time. And i ritually cycle through them. Its the weirdest thing too. Because they tend to be absolutly unrelated things. So i end up being an expert in very random stuff. I also end up with 50 started large scale projects, that i might never finish The neat part of this is that i found a way to trigger my brain to obsess over this one thing i want to obsess over. Usually by slowly giving me food for thought about it in moderation
As an Autistic Artist, this explains a lot. One of my special interest is ANYTHING Ancient Greece/Rome related. If you have known me for literally 30 minutes you will know Percy Jackson and the entire universe of it is literally my favorite thing. I mean it literally saved my life. But with saying that it takes over my creative outlits. Writing, Art, and theater are my other special interests (I have hyper fixations too, but special interests are different for me). I have sketchbooks to sketchbooks filled with Riordanverse (Percy Jackson universe) art. My writing is said that it reminds ppl or Rick riordan’s (the guy who wrote Percy Jackson) writing. My 2 favorite musicals are musicals that have to do with Greek mythology. (The lightning thief the musical, and EPIC: the musical). I literally wrote my and of quarter essay on “The Aenied of Virgil” because it is an epic of Greek mythology. It influences my art SO MUCH, but in result I can barely do things that have nothing to do with my special interest, because of it. That is why I tend to find a way to incorporate my special interest into it, so I can get it done. But hey, who needs to focus when you can name all of the Olympian gods, the pre mortals, giants, titians, the infamous monsters, the most famous heroes, how Ancient Rome was founded, the rankings in Rome, etc 🤩 /sarc
Stuff like this, more mild the farther back in the past it's set, have happened to me without causing much issue. However, my current obsession with making art about the amazing digital circus feels so useless. The actual theme of the show is the total opposite of the stuff I'm making, to the point where I pretend it's a joke when I show it to people because it's so absurdly convoluted, dark, and multilayered. That's also why I can't post it on social media, because I feel like most people who like tadc would be made really uncomfortable by my dark art. I'm just lucky it hasn't shot me straight out of SCP and Pitch Haven for any longer than it did. I'm finally, JUST NOW returning to being able to make that kind of stuff for Pitch Haven again, which suits that series far better than it does tadc.
Dang you too? Too many of us are late diagnosed, at least we know now though! Also does anyone else have a special interest in CZcams? I spend literally all day every day watching videos on here, and now that I make content myself I focus on how other people edit, make thumbnails, etc. It's crazy how much I focus on this stupid website 😭
Kafka asagiri, the writer of bungo stray dogs, said something really interesting in an interview that talked about the target audience he wants to reach.''this story is not for people who are good at living. In this world there exist people who are so good at living that they do not need a ''story'' at all. They are the ones who think that stories are, after all, just a pastime for your hobbies, that they are not necessary for living, and therefore it is a waste to spend money on such things. I did not assume such people to be my readers from the beginning. I cut them off. On the other hand, there are certainly people who need stories like oxygen still. I always hoped Bungo Stray Dogs will become the oxygen for such people.
I only had to read the title to know exactly what you mean and as an autistic artist as well I can SO relate to this
Same I always hyper fixate on stuff
Same. I always hyperfixate. Always always always.
Yess
As a neurodivergent artist- I relate sm to this too- Dazai is my fixation 😭
I have ADHD and also relate, but not as intensely.
Haven't even finished the video yet but I'm so happy bsd is getting more attention 😭😭😭 too bad special interests are INTOXICATING (I say this as someone who also has bsd as a spin/hyperfix)
Bsd? Do you mean Asd?
@@theidioticghost bsd, bungo stray dogs, the animanga mentioned in the vid
@@HUEYYYYYYhehehe my bad sorry
@@theidioticghost nah you're good lolol :3
been a fan for soooo long and its still in the brain but i have no way to watch the new seasons so i spoil it on me sadge
i can't get diagnosed so i can't say 'same' but bsd ruined my life 😭 when my family/friends got sick of me i created a whole entire discord server just to spam myself things relating to bsd. i watched, rewatched, read, reread, scoured the internet, devoured every bit of fan content i could get my hand on to keep that brainrot gear well oiled. every single social media had bsd plastered all over it, i couldn't get into one single conversation without something reminding me of bsd causing me to spiral into hour long tangents that barely made sense and/or i'd save it to manically rant to myself on my server. before that was your lie in april and i'd finish it just to go back and put it on and rewatch over and over until my family banned me from watching (except on aprils 😭) friendships have certainly withered over this and i love bsd sososo much but ffs i wish i could like it and still be a functional person who doesn't hardwire at the mention of it. obsessions are exhausting 😔
UR SO REAL FOR THIS
@@Meddlixng GAGAHSHSH
WHAT WE HAVE THE SAME PFP WHAT
@@Doppy_019 WOAH NO WAY TWINS
Fr?
My issue is I get a lot of special interest at once.
Like I want to draw my ocs
I want to create Aus
I want to draw fanart
I want to write
So many things at once. And I end Up not doing any of It and It frustrates me to no end. But I cant choose because all those things are equaly important in my mind, all of them ocupy mi thoughts 90% of the time.
I have this urge to be productive but I can't give time to any of my special interests and hyperfixations. It sucks.
I feel you so much, it’s so annoying and honestly it just annoys me so much I can’t anymore.
@@DemiSuaton Same,, I just, wished I could like perfectly organize myself so I could do everything special interest related + obligatory non SI stuff
As an autistic artist myself, I *greatly* relate to this. And hilariously Bungo Stray Dogs is one of my biggest special interests lately. It can definitely impact me greatly, especially in my art
My special interests hit me like a truck. I draw so much fanart and write so much fic. I can and will talk my special interests for hours no matter what.
Fun fact: did you know that a man named Tomo K actually co-created Bungo Stray Dogs? He works on a lot of other popular animes but he prefers for his identity to remain secret. It has only recently been revealed that he has contributed to multiple popular anime and mangas because of leaks in the system.
Squee
Tomo is a genius. The Bungo Stray dogs fandom owes this legend a thank you..... I hope I live to see the day Tomo comes forth with his identity
Special interests hurt so much. I can't stop talking about my special interests. When I go home after a conversation I monopolised with my interests, I hate on myself so much.
I don’t have Autism but I actually relate to this, I had an pokemon interest since I was 10 years old, and an Art interest since I was 4, all i did was talk and draw about it, I even drew this pfp because my favorite pokemon is mimikyu.
Same. Dunno if pokemon is a special interest for me but ive also liked it since i was a kid. And recently got fixated on N and all i can do is draw and write about him
@@Atoz00002N is the actual best pokemon character in existence so i dont blame you! N>>>
@@dishwasherh so true. Mimikyu is also one of my favorites. Deserves all the love
@@Atoz00002N is literally the best character in b/w, I had a huge crush on him 😭
have you ever considered researcching if you may have it?
I relate to this on a whole different level. When im hyperfixated on something, especially the first times, all I can think about day to night is that thing. My mind constantly thinks about that interest, show or media. Im on pinterest looking at fanart, im on reddit looking at memes, on the fandoms wiki, on ao3 and hell even all I can draw or write is about them. I have so many ideas, but no time or skill for them and it slowly kills me. It comes to a point that when u saw a fanart, u feel motivated and bad at the same time cuz people can express their interest better than u. But then I feel stupid cuz damn thats just a show or game bro chill😭
I can definitely relate to this comment but I do want to say that if you have ideas for drawings, but feel like your not good enough, just draw them. I've had many ideas for drawings in the past that I waited on doing because I also felt I couldn't achieve the look I wanted with my skill level but never ended up doing to this day despite being proud of my current skill level and the drawings I make now. Even if your skill level is like god-tier masterpieces or somethin, you'll still try to latch on to the mindset that you're still not good enough to draw those ideas. Don't let it hold you back, and you can always go back and redraw a piece you're not proud of. Doing that will visually show you how far you've come in your improvement as an artist and boost your self confidence. That's what I do anyway and sorry for the long essay comment lmaoo :P
As an autistic artist who has shit ton of special Interests, i never actually had this happen to me like at all i learned to balance them and the rest of my stuff perfectly fine, i can focus and do multiple thing's at once, personal art, fan art, interest art you name it and i am able to balance them perfectly well the only ironic thing is, i also happen to have ADHD and get distracted easily so having that as a bonus to my special interest serve as balancing through distractions.
I am 16 and in high school and got diagnosed with ocd last year. I deal with the same issue, one of my obsessions being art, to the point where I was extremely stressed whenever I was doing anything that wasn't art, I couldn't go out with friends, watch series, read (something I deeply love), without feeling like I was doing something unnimportant, therefore it was really impacting everything else, including my health, as I got wrist strain injury and am dealing with the aftermath even now. I am doing better, but there is still a long way to, as I am gathering new obsessions every once in a while.
My current one is TGCF and to this day, I managed to convince a lot of my friends to read it, so now I can share my feelings with them lol.
You might ask if there are diagnosis that would fit better than OCD, hyper fixations are a key feature of Autism and ADHD. In girls especially, misdiagnosis of Autism and ADHD are super common, mainly as OCD and Bipolar disorders. The coping skills and medications are different and treating one as the other can be detrimental to your body in the long run. I highly recommend asking your doctor, researching those disorders extensively, looking through medical journals, and making sure as much as possible that your sure of what’s going on with your brain. The younger you are, the more it will help you to do this in your future. 😊
omg another tgcf fan!!!
the art as a special interest segment rang so true to me! i spent and still spend my whole life thinking about making art every chance i get, or anything connected to the process of making art. i spend unreasonable ammounts of time just consuming possible references when my motor skills deter me from making too much art ;v;
it really has been a crucial part of my identity my whole life, and it is a rather strange thing to find out that fact may be connected to the autism :P it's fun tho
edit: oh my god. the video gets more relatable by the SECOND.
projects that pay off long term feel so unrewarding to work on, it's insane!
I'm not diagnosed with autism, but I can really relate because whenever I like something my life revolves around it that's all I talk about. and it can honestly get in the way of everything. right now I'm so hyper-fixated on jujutsu kaisen to the point where I'm even noticing it's not normal
I do this exact same thing. My main ones being Bungou Stray Dogs, Chainsaw Man and Soul Eater. Anytime my siblings ask anything related to it, I have to fight the urge to go on a tiraid on details and such.
I'm autistic and bungo stray dogs is also one of my special interests, I'm also an artist (even if a bad one at that lol) so I completely get it. I also have a webcomic I continuously think about and plan, I have a whole world built and so many fleshed out characters but I can't seem to draw or write it because all I can do is write and draw bsd fanart and fanfiction... I can't even "study" art, even though I love doing it more than anything, unless it's relating to my special interest. Like, if I'm going to study anatomy I need to find a way to make it fanart or else it's unbearably boring.
Yet... if it weren't for my passion for my special interests.... I would've never have drawn or written anything in the first place, so... I don't think it's holding me back, I think it's quite the opposite. If I didn't obsess over it I would've never gotten so much practice in the first place. I see a lot of people that draw "just for fun", you know, as a hobby, and they just don't have the same drive ig... people are always surprised by how much I progressed in so little time, even my drawing teacher (a class I forced myself to take lol) was shocked and didn't believe me.
Yeah, I wish I could do other things... Special interests completely isolate me from everyone else and it sucks, I wish I could regulate it but... where would I even get joy from if not from them? I can't seem to think of myself without spins, even if they are a curse, specially when it comes to relationships. I don't even care that much when it comes to art... I just wish I could tone it down and have normal conversations with people, then I wouldn't be so much of an outcast.
Anyways, I was drawing Dazai fanart while listening to your video and just stopped it to write this comment lol, but I relate to it a lot, thanks
As an autistic artist with bsd as my current special interest you've just put everything I've been experiencing into words :')
I relate to this so much. The last 12-ish years of my life have been completely dedicated to The Legend of Zelda. I've played every game at least twice, read every manga, spent hours translating obscure Japanese interviews, scoured the internet for any Zelda related content, and filled numerous sketchbooks just with fanart of Zelda characters. I've lost numerous friends over this "you never talk about anything else" and my academic and other personal work has suffered so much for it. There are so many projects that I just can't bring myself to do, and even though tloz brings me immense happiness I feel like it's trapping me and I'll never have proper relationships, a job, or the ability to work on other things.
I’ve never related to something so hard before. My special interests can change so easily. Sometimes, I’ll even bounce back to previous Special interests when I don’t find anything new. What makes this whole process worse is that I’m an art student, and so much of my school art work takes up so much of my time, I can barely work on stuff for myself. And with the special interests, there’s so much I want to draw, but I can only do so much in one drawing session. I have so many concept drawings and notes that usually stay concepts, because I always have other things to draw, school related or otherwise. This video really shed some light on things for me. Keep up the great work.
P.s. BSD is my special interest too ❤
This is exactly how I feel! But because I spend so much time on it for school, I'm mostly even too tired to do anything else which I really feel has been impacting my art even though I want to have new ideas and create..
I saw a quote that said "the longer you stray, the more you'll want to stay." Reminding myself of that helps me when I find myself getting pulled too deep into something that's taking over my life.
this is SO relatable. im a writer, and my current hyperfixation is omori. i cant write anything that isnt omori related anymore. i havent written anything for my story with my original characters since i got into it, i cant write fanfiction for other fandoms im in like heartstopper, and if i try to start a story that isnt omori related i lose interest. omori consumes my every thought and i love writing for it, but it really sucks that i cant do anything but that
My day job causes me to he stressed and fatigued enough that art feels like a job. That's why I'm trying so hard to not go through burnout right now. My parents had to give up the cover coverband dream to take care of us and now all they do is work and don't really take time to do their hobbies anymore. I feel that tug to just try to stay afloat paying bills etc I may have to stop all my hobbies for a while to try and get ahead on life in general but don't want to work 40 plus hours a week the rest of my young part of my life. 😅
I'm really into Bsd too right now, I started cosplaying more because of it, drawing and posting more about my channel. Before it was Bsd, I had a mha phase, I still like it but now I really love Bsd and mostly watch stuff with it. I'm not diagnosed or anything but I just wanted to say how I relate to some of what you said. Honestly, I'm kind of scared of loosing interest like with mha how I switched from that to Bsd, even tho I still like other things.
Do you play the game?? 😻😻😻
this is so real my entire life revolves around bsd. most stuff is boring if it's not related to it. 90% of what i draw is fanart of it, it's not as fun talking to people if they don't know what it is/don't know what happens, i cosplay characters from it, most of my outfits are themed around characters from it, i think about it 24/7, i relate everything back to it (luckily it helps in english), i have a collection of the manga, i spend so much money on merch of characters from it, i am extremely obsessed with fyodor (i have 4 plushies of him and plan to get more soon), my devices are themed around it, i have playlists for the characters, i post about it almost daily, almost all of my profiles on sites are themed around it, i have OCs for it, i get extremely excited whenever i see anything relating to it, and a lot of my day is spent viewing content about it. it consumes my life. it sucks sometimes, but it makes me happy knowing that i have so much love in my heart for something, and it's nice having something that can so easily make me happy or cheer me up. my only issue is that my brain picked a pretty sad series to like so much 😭😭
I am so glad to have found this today. I just spent the night crying over my art, how I wish I could work on projects I want to but how it is so tedious to do so because it's not about my favorite characters. I really hate how my interests and fanart are what made my social media grow because now I feel like nobody will care about my original content and only engage in fan content instead. I spend hours staring at a blank canvas, trying to decide whether to do what I like or what will get me more engagement. I know it's unhealthy but the purpose of my art is to share it and it's my only form of income for now since I'm in uni. I'd love to get commissions, sell merch and post often to help my mother with expenses, but I can't...
BSD is also my special interest, and for the past year or so, I've only been drawing Sigma because of how much I adore her, I almost exclusively draw Sigma with either whoever I ship her with or in pretty dresses that I've found on pinterest.
Her???
@@applef1uffy I head canon Sigma as a trans woman
i just finished the video and im so glad that im not the only one who deals with the same struggles. my special interests keeps on holding me back from drawing very often, especially theatre. theatre takes up so much of my time that i barely have anything else to do at the end of the day (aka not doing art). i used to be so passionate about my art but now since theatre has been taking up so much time, i can barely draw anymore. which dramatically slowed my process of improving my drawings. i have so many ideas and stories i want to do but i simply cant with all of my special interests. great video, it made me feel seen and heard :)
Oh boy, this video really spoke to me on a universal level. Back in elementary and middle school I was super obsessed with super Mario and the powerpuff girls and would talk about and draw fanart of those franchises all the time. It used to irritate the absolute heck out of my classmates and some of my real life friends. Even if I got picked on a lot for it, I still don’t regret those times because I ended up meeting some amazing friends that shared my interests. However, I do wish I chilled out a bit and actually tried to find ways to improve my art because my drawings sucked, lol.
I still tend hyperfixate on stuff such as Genshin Impact ‘til this day, however not as intense since I’m an adult now lol.
i have the opposite problem sadly. i want to draw more, but more time drawing means less time interacting with my interests :/
I get losing friends or growing distant from people. I, personally, like physics, specifically atoms and all that. There’s also astronomy too. Though people around my age don’t have that sort of interest. I wanna talk about it, but it’s always a topic people never care for. It damages relationships- not being able to find people you properly connect with.
I’m not on the spectrum or anything, physics and astronomy is just stuff I’ve found interesting. It’s a curiosity of wanting to learn more, and I find it cool to get a proper grasp on things rules and logic.
Though I don’t have people around me that share the same amount of curiosity and interest. It creates a rift between me and my peers- a line that defines me from them, even if it isn’t physically there.
Overall, I might not understand this type of struggle as much as others, though I get it to some extent. It’s bothersome not having anyone else sharing that same level of interest.
ugh I feel you, my boyfriend got me into final fantasy XIV because its his spcial interest and despite having no desire to play it when my many other friends asked me to his earnest request made me wanna play it with him because I love him and I love spending time with him. I have made it about halfway through Shadowbringers so far and its definitely become my new special interest. and while its inspired me to try to draw humanoids again (after drawing pretty much nothing but ponies and unicorns for over 10 years) I can't draw anything else without getting burnt out and im not super good at my humanoids just yet so I have been doing ponified fanart in between practicing human anatomy all because I wanna draw a smelly elf man I keep rotating in my head named Estinien
This is the most relatable video I've ever watched, I gained a new special interest a few months ago. I thought I'd get back to my own original comics and art and my other fan projects after spending time on a few pieces based on my new interests but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen any time soon. I'm in so deep now I've started collecting merch, art books, albums, figures, making comics, fanart, ocs and dedicated blogs and even gotten tattooed.
Honestly the worst part is the self criticism, not being able to just enjoy something without feeling like I'm wrong for having fun.
this hit so hard esp the art part bc i thought i was the only one who obsessively draws endless pieces on one special interest, to the point where no other art feels fulfilling anymore. its so tough to want to enjoy drawing other things, having so many references saved, but only being motivated to do art if i twist it into related to the thing currently keeping my brain hostage
Oh my god I relate to this so hard, I want to work on my original worlds but I’m currently hyper fixated on other medias that if I draw anything other than it, it feels like a chore and I get burned out way faster.
I relate to this so much. I don’t really talk about my special interests online anymore because people made fun of me.
But mine are the music artist Chonny Jash and the lore of his characters, Heathers/Heathers The Musical, the emo/scene subculture and red pandas. I have a lot of them so I’m able to have more diverse conversations but people still get bored of me talking about red pandas and why I kin JD and The Heart. I even used to name myself after my favorite characters like back why I identified as a girl and loved Tangled The Series I named myself Cassandra and was obsessed with swords and fighting. I couldn’t draw anything that wasn’t related to Heathers or Tangled The Series for awhile. And it drove a lot of people away. But my true friends stayed and even bonded with me more because of my interests like my now boyfriend who loves listening to me talk about my special interests and talking about his with me (we’re both on the spectrum).
I love Chonny Jash too!!
@@Retsiger omg awesome! I absolutely hate people who will call lines from his songs ‘tiktok audios’ and show the heart’s lines talking about their villain OC’s. Like as a reference the line from the bidding ‘and here he is the piece of shit, sitting seething high atop his stolen throne’ like I’ve seen so many people call that a tiktok audio and use it to describe their villain OC’s without realizing that the person he is describing isn’t actually a villain. (Sorry for ranting I just needed to get that shiz off my chest).
i was about to take back a comment but seeing you actually talk abt what u like made me feel like i'm not alone in terms of the type of stuff i like😭😭 thank u for not being like me
@@Emofag brooo I agree so much like I get unreasonably frustrated 😭
Oof. All of this is so relatable, as far as being dicked around by your brain in an unfathomable way. Certainly not the same and I claim no direct comparison, but I've got ADHD, so my "special interest" phase comes in shorter bouts of "hyper focus"... and those are soooo blissful while they're happening (but sadly for much shorter durations--maybe a few days or at best weeks), but when they're over, I immediately lose all interest in that special interest. Sometimes for years or forever. So I'm surrounded by a bunch of unfinished passions I used to love more than life, and they really helped me get through the dayjob days, but now they feel like dead chores to me--similar to the art unrelated to your special interests that you talked about having to do. And sometimes I don't find the next thing for a long while after the thing I loved ceases to produce dopamine. It's why I can't have an art-related career to support myself and I have a really difficult time finding a tribe or community. It's quite frankly brain torture. And I'm in my 40s so this has been a long road of working with this condition to make it not hit so hard when it does this, but... this is the brain I was born with and it's a rollercoaster. It helps to know that I'm not alone (not that "misery loves company" is ever a good sentiment), but I personally love to see your fire and passions about whatever it happens to be, even if I'm not into the specific fandom myself, because its cathartic to experience your special interests especially when I'm going through a no-passion period. I'm personally here for you, Celestia, because you are authentic and talk about these very real things that ppl in my real life certainly don't.
You have no idea how happy that friggin Fyodor drawing in the background made me. (My special interest is BSD and i am obsessed with the rat man to an unhealthy amount pls send help)
I’m dealing with a similar situation right now, and it’s rough. Mostly because I’m embarrassed and sometimes ashamed in my interest. Right now, it’s Welcome Home, and I think about it constantly. The nice thing is that I’m actually making art because of it. I’m doing some animation practice too, which is great because that’s something I want to get better at, but I feel guilty for not working on personal art and projects. When I try to work on that stuff I’m always trying to wrap it back into my interest, and I also compare myself to the creators of things I like so I convince myself I’ll never be as good as them. It’s unhealthy, and I hope I find a way to enjoy my interest without feeling bad about it.
I really relate to this omg. My special interests had always made my school life and art journey harder and it's the first time I see a video that express this so accurately.
I only enjoy drawing if it's related to Charly García (my current special interest) and it feels bizarre how just a week of not being able to engage with his art and stuff related to him made me so miserable. I'm ending the school year rn, so I couldn't just don't sleep for an entire night investigating and listening to his music. I couldn't make time in my day to doddle him or watch a vid or a documentary about him. It feels truly debilitating to not have joy in life the moment I don't engage with the work of someone I never met. And obviously this affected my art due to the feeling of burnout and the lack of interest in my other projects. I even have a group project with a friend I have been neglecting recently for this and I feel SO, SO GUILTY.
I can relate so much, BSD has actually taken over my thinking to the point I will actually get in trouble at school because I can't pay attention since I'm to busy drawing it or thinking about, I see a way to make time to talk about and ge no joy from drawin OCs I want to draw
As someone with ADHD who is often regarded irl as ‘the person who knows everything about mental illness’ this was very helpful for putting in perspective what having a special interest is actually like and how that can be explained, which i really appreciate :D
This isn’t related directly but something it made me think about is how sometimes i get rlly insecure of feeling like i’m not ‘neurodivergent enough’, which a large part of is feeling like my hyperfixations arent ‘strong’ enough and how i feel like i dont do any actual cool or crazy stuff with them which i feel i see other nd people do all the time because i just cant find the time, focus, and motivation (usually 1 or 2 but never all 3) to really sit down and learn literally everything (/exaggerated) abt smth or make more than a doodle. i have enough strategies, self control, n medication to (most often) complete all necessary work first/when i have to and then get so exhausted from that i dont feel like doing more than watching a few YT videos and even just opening a platform in order to access a show or webnovel/comic im super interested in and think is really cool and i really want to watch/read feels like too much (task paralysis). which is all technically very neurodivergent of me but its less interesting to talk abt so i dont think of it that way.
anyway bsd is one of my latest hyperfixations (and is like, almost 2 years strong at this point time is wild??? it feels like its only been a multi-day fever dream) which is the only reason this video got sent to my watch later hell :D i managed to watch the first season and 2 episodes over the course of like 3 months with my friend, read i think maybe 3 or 4 chapters of the manga and the first section of the first chapter of a fan translation of dark era, and absorb all of the information i actually really care about from animatics, gcrvs (dont ask), a few tiktok comps, ao3, and the very occasional twitter thread. i still promise myself im gonna read it eventually tho n i put the first volume of the manga & 15 manga and the first light novel on my christmas wishlist so im praying that my family is going to take the hint of how ive definitely brought it up at least 3 times to all of them even if i almost never talk to them and give it to me so having the physical thing makes me feel more obligated to read it.
that you for this video n the best of luck navigating neurotypical late capitalism hell :D
I know exactly what you mean. I have adhd and my current hyperfixation is the movie Aladdin (The animated one, not the bad live action one lol). People have gotten somewhat annoyed and I even overheard a friend saying “Bro devotes his whole life to Aladdin”. Me and my dad both love Aladdin though so he’s one of the people I can actually talk to about it. I literally used to have a phase where all I would draw was Aladdin fanart. So yeah
my special interests or when i get hyper fixated on something change my artstyle and everything
You totally get it and explain it so well esp w the unhealthy relationship w art its so tiring snd consuming but you just have to do it or else you feel like a completely failure and down spiral into a horrible depresson over just not drawing for one day
bsd to me is like a giant realistic hand that grabs and shakes me till I pass out everytime I think I'm safe-
"I wish I could enjoy things in moderation" that hit home hard, my current hyperfixation is thai dramas and in 3 months I have finished 43 series (318 hours in total). I'm a senior and I need to be working on my portfolio but all I can think about is finishing or starting a series, if I can’t watch them during the day I stay awake or wake up early in order to watch them (I had my first ever all nighter just to finish a series because it was too exciting and I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to finish it). My hyperfixations always disturb my daily life, when I was hyperfixated on anime's just like dramas as soon as I finished one I would start another. Idk how to manage my adhd
I relate to this so much, like I have so many things I want to do so badly but like I can’t. I simultaneously find things very entertaining and an absolute chore at the same time, and whenever I find out someone likes something that I’m obsessed with I can’t stop talking to them about it. Although it’s probably a different since I’m not autistic
Listen. When I was younger, I deadass thought it was NORMAL to get so deeply into yout interests that you need to interact with them in some way every day or you get really upset. It's normal for me, of course, but knowing that many people can just casually enjoy something and not obsess over it constantly? Blows my mind.
I'm glad that I can usually work on both fanart and personal art because both have me obsessed to no end, but I totally get your point here. ;;
The "worst" thing? I don't want to be less obsessed with my interests. They make me feel good, and why should we not be allowed to feel good?
As a fellow autistic who was OBSESSED with Death Note back in the day (cosplay, hundreds of fanarts, fanfics, talking about it nonstop, memorizing the characters' birthdays, etc), I relate to this so very much. I'm actually rediscovering my Death Note fondness this year, but trying to stay a little more low-key about it (wish me luck, I'm already wanting to re-read the entire manga and to study the art style all over again...)
This is exactly the video I needed right now omggg like right now I'm so hyperfixated on Bungo Stray Dogs and like even though I'm not autistic (i think help) I do have adhd and this whole video was just such a mood!! like I definitely could be working on art that benefits me financially like commissions or working on the work I have for college, but literally, the only thing that makes me happy right now is to draw Dazai obsessively. Or write fanfics centered around Dazai. Or literally, do anything that pertains to Dazai and it's actually so fulfilling but also so draining 24/7 TT I always forget that it's okay to be like this and this video helped me remind me that it is alright and I'm not alone :))
i got into bungo stray dogs when it wasnt popular and my way of engaging with stuff i like is that i try to talk to everyone about it and my bestfriends got really tired of hearing about it because i just wouldnt shut up but i also couldnt find a big community at the time because it was before it was really popular, and then when it became popular the fandom scared me
i haven’t been diagnosed with autism, but i can relate a lot to the special interests 😭 nearly every time i get into something new my art will focus solely on that and i will spend copious amounts on merchandise etc and then leave it behind when I find the next thing..
Lmao i was not expecting to see Dazai and Chuuya in my notifications, ive been fixated on bsd for the past two months now. Ive loved the show for years, i mostly use it for references like perspective and scenery though. Luckily i somewhat found my style before i got in deep lmao!
I'm so glad you made this video because this is something I've been struggling with for years. For a long time, I felt so bad for not creating any personal art that didn't involve my special interests to the point I was very disappointed in myself. But I couldn't help that anything I drew that didn't involve my special interests made me unhappy. It's a tough situation to be in but hopefully someday I'll find that balance.
I totally understand. BSD was a special interest for me for long while to the point where I actually adopted bits of the anime style into my art (along with jjk manga around the same time but that was more liking the line art lol)
And honestly, thank fuck the fandom got so bad I couldn’t bring myself to engage with it anymore cause I probably would’ve sunk SO much money into it.
Now all I draw is FFVII and BG3 🫠my brother is so fed up with me lmao
whenever people complain about me being annoying with my special interests, I just point out that I have to live with myself, so imagine how I feel LOL. As you said, I may love the thing, but sometimes I know I need to chill, but CAN'T chill.
I am so glad you talked about this topic because I feel EXACTLY the same. I'm just so happy there's someone out there who understands the struggle
Dude honestly, I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or any disorder, but I have this problem too. I only ever enjoy art when I’m drawing something that I hyperfixate and obsess over and while I love the stuff I create for my interests it’s wearing me down. I have so many ocs that I love just as much and wanna draw or put into a story I’ve been planning for YEARS. But it always feels like I’m forcing myself to draw them for variety whenever I do actually draw them(or cause of my parents, which is a whole can of worms I’m not gonna get into in a yt comment section-)
I’m kinda relieved that I’m not the only one who’s like this though, i though I was just lazy or something honestly and for a while I really hated myself and everything I created because of this.
Thanks for this video though, I never considered this might just be something out of my control.
this is the most deeply relatable art take I have ever heard. all of it
I was absolutely obsessed with undertale all throughout middle school. I had a whole group of friends that all were interested in undertale, and I was that designated artist of the group since I drew so much of it. In conversations, I would quote it and make references to it constantly. My parents probably know so much about the lore and story with how much I talked about it. And the sketchbooks, there are so many of them. A lot of kids outside of the friend group said I was obsessed and had a problem...
This kind of reminds me of that. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I kind of relate. It's just nice to hear I'm not alone in this. Thanks for the video, Celestia. Bleh ramble over
I do hope you can make tons of passionate projects and make more money. I can't wait to see it.
nah no way you just explained my life in 15 minutes
As an neurodivergent writer, I flip between no motivation and nonstop writing. I also roleplay constantly. The character changes almost daily from only a few select works. Like maybe five of them. That, combined with my psychology hyperfixation, leads to it using 90% of my free time. I'll forgo eating to work on them.
i may not be diagnosed with autism but i do relate to that,i have these fandoms or things i obsessed over from a period time and i am also currently engaging with bongou stray dogs as a current obsession to poin that,that is what i only talk about in my friend group,same goes to previous topics i have devotedly obsessed over
BSD special interest has been going strong for like 2 years, died down a month ago for the magnus archives but came back a couple days ago
OH MY GOD SO IT ISN’T JUST ME THAT SPIRALS INTO DEPRESSION WHEN I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND SWITCHES THROUGH THEM 😭
(Also its also nice to see another neurodivergent person with a special interest on Durarara and BSD)
EDIT: HOLY GUACAMOLE IS THAT FYODOR!?!?
what the hell this is a thing? Ive been experiencing this without knowing it was an actual thing that other people have to? damn bro I need a minute
Just got into bsd, like last week, and I'm already on season 2...
Anime is one of my special interests as well as video games and are always looking for new friends to talk about it, I started to do more art and cosplay and write about it, but like there's so much I want to do, but been like I can do it later, rn HYPERFIXATION. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and adhd, which gives me these fixations, it gives me so much comfort, where I study the lore and all the little nooks and crannies of the media I'm obsessed with, from character design to backgrounds, to lore, using my money to buy a ton of merch and all the things related to it.
I'm so thankful that I have family willing to listen to it and have some friends willing to stick with me despite me teaching them the whole mlp lore, despite their lack of interest...
While not to this degree, i can certainly relate. My special interest is Sonic the Hedgehog and so wheneve i try to draw something my mind is flooded with Sonic ideas i want to do and i constantly browse forums and twitter posts about Sonic. The part about making art you want to instead of your interest rings so true, theres so original ideas and stories i have that i want to start on but i cant help but feel like im stifled to always work on Sonic which does put a limit on whay i do.
I'm not on the spectrum but I had a really bad BSD phase like a year ago 💀 like I used to go on ao3 every day for hours reading fanfiction 😭 it got so bad at one point I knew at which point did one day of fanfics being posted start and one end and I would read every single one 💀 I read like 200 fanfics in one day bc I was just that obsessed lmaoo
I have this exact problem, but my timeframes are shortened due to my attention span. I have ADHD in combination with my autism and so I have to keep things rotating every week or two. I don’t control what I fixate on, or when, I just have to meet the timeframe or I fall into depression. It almost got me a bipolar diagnosis, until I figured out how to cope with it. I fixate most on people and characters, so every two weeks I peek through my favorite characters and pick out the one that pops out most, letting my brain fall into whatever media it’s from for the next two weeks. I have so many on my list now that it’s easy to keep it up, never getting bored and depressed.
Oof. Yeah. I feel the inability to enjoy things casually. If I ever end up in something--same thing. I go lore diving and find everything I can out about it--draw, write it, etc. There's no escape. It becomes my life. I have my own original story idea I've been plotting since the late 90s and only about over 15 yrs ago did I finally feel the right path to take with character designs, ideas, etc, but it's so challenging to stay focused on something that's 100% me. But I did make some of the characters in my story an amalgamation of characters and things I am already hugely fixated on in other fandoms. It super helps my drive. It might not drive me forward as swiftly as I want, but it nudges me way better than before. ♥
I relate to this on an ungodly level. I have ASD level 2 and ADHD, and I have a select few special interests that I ping-pong between anywhere from as long as multiple months each (maybe a year if lucky) or the span of a week. I would be obsessed with Genshin to the point everything I surrounded myself with was Genshin, then a few months later, suddenly a switch just flips, my interest completely disappears and I'm obsessed with BSD... again. The switch isn't gradual; it's basically instantaneous, to the point where no one else can keep up. It's to the point where I can basically never guarantee anything because I have no idea when that switch will happen, and honestly it sucks. I have considered the prospect of commissions when I've improved on my art, but even then I cannot even guarantee that I would complete them knowing that it would only take one day for me to completely lose interest and end up never finishing it.
Another thing, and this comes to any word-heavy content, is that I struggle to read; my brain really struggles to process what I am reading to the point where it has to read the same exact sentence over and over again just to understand what it means. Simultaneously it just wants to skip ahead and often drifts off into reading texts on the next page before I'm even finished the former one. This makes reading for extended periods of time a living hell, especially if my brain is already currently distracted or not fully clear to think (which is basically 99% of the day). It gets really infuriating and was the reason I stopped reading so suddenly.
Did you know Bungo stray dogs has a game? It's fun, but it forces you to take breaks too
I'm not diagnosed with Autism, but I do have a massive hyper fixation with bungo stray dogs. To the point that most of the things I talk about is either Chuuya or bsd. I don't mind it that much, and my friends see it as something that's normal about me, but it's very upsetting when I'm scrolling AO3 to find new fics to read only to find out I've read all of them with this tag I like so much
Yeah I understand you I deal with that all the time it is really hard sometimes though I even got in a lot of drama with my family from one of special interest
As a hobbyist artist with ADHD who has a hyperfixation on BSD, YTTD, Naruto, and Moriarty the Patriot this is so relatable
You sound like me fr
When I started watching JoJo I thought it messed up my art, but almost an year later it seems it helped me in the long run
Thank u for making this video. I feel so much less alone now
You are the kind of person at the party no one wants to talk to because you have 5 things to discuss. Family get togethers must be dreadful
I can relate to obsessions over special interests super well. I am currently not professionally diagnosed with autism (though I apparently have been showing symptoms of it for years and plan on getting tested when I am an adult) but I have had special interests that had taken over my life. While I've had quiet a few that lasted months to a year each, I've got three that lasted/are currently lasting years, which I call the Big Three Obsessions: Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu when I was in elementary school, Bendy and the Ink Machine when I was in middle school and a freshman, and my current obsession for the past two and a half years, Omori. And just like you described, I needed to know EVERYTHING about each and everyone one of them, would talk about them for days, drew fanart constantly, read the wikis until my eyeball fell out, watched CZcams animations, etc etc. (Okay but the Bendy one was bad. Really embarrassing xD) But I love them so much, and Omori will most likely continue to be an obsession for at least another couple years, especially with the new manga adaptation. (But seriously, you should see all the Omori content I have saved throughout CZcams, Pinterest, Wattpad, etc, and I have three sketchbooks so far full of Omori fanart.) Okay I'm rambling so I'm going to leave now bye.
one of my 'special interests' happens to be 2 of my OCs--one day i'll be fixated on one of them, the next day it's the other, & most of the time it will just be both of them.
And i'm not diagnosed with anything, but i can heavily relate to this- if what I'm drawing doesn't relate to one of those characters in some way, it feels like a chore to draw that thing :(
even if that thing happens to be another OC of mine, or some other character I happen to like, I just can't get the same joy out of it if it's not one of the 2.
I have multiple special interests, but these characters have ultimately taken over my life... for better or worse. To the point where most of my new ideas surround them, I'm always thinking of them in different scenarios, I'm able to associate 75% of the music I listen to with them, and most of my other favorite fictional characters have something in common with them. It's honestly hard even trying to make up a story for a different character at this point. :,) If I like a new idea a lot, there's a huge chance I'll apply it to one of those characters.
But at the same time, it's not like I can _control_ what makes me happy, and those characters really do. Even if they're not the coolest characters I know, and they have a lot of flaws that only I can fix, they're the most special creations to me and I'm totally obsessed with them. And I feel pretty stuck, because just like you, I want to wanna draw other things but I simply can't bring myself to & enjoy it. Like I said, I haven't been diagnosed with anything so I can't tell for sure what might be 'wrong with me', but I want you to know that this video is really comforting and relatable to me and a lot of people, so thank you for making it. You're helping us all feel seen and valid
BSD has been my special interest for years now, and I’ve basically built my career off of it. But my hyper fixation often gets in the way, because sometimes I’ll try to draw or make something for someone else, or something unrelated to BSD or my other special interest anime, it often doesn’t look as good because my heart isn’t in it as much.
It’s also hard to communicate with other people without referencing BSD, and I don’t have any friends who like it, so my jokes about never make any sense to other people
My special interest was botw/totk for a LOOOOOOOONG time (still is just going through serious burnout lately) and it was to the point where I couldn’t do chores or anything ‘boring’ without having a botw/totk ambience video playing. I also have had the molduga theme on repeat 24/7 when I’m drawing and I’ve memorized every plant/character/ elixir/ food etc in these games.
I related to this video so much, I have many hyper fixations and I agree with your points, they COMPLETELY take over my brain. I don’t want to draw anything else other than my hyper fixations to the point where drawing original works and characters for my art school or if I had to submit a portfolio is hard and tedious. I do it sometimes because I feel like I have to and I do like what I make but then my brain goes right back to those hyper fixations, not to mention jumping back and forth between them. It gets very exhausting and sometimes I feel like my creativity is in a rut or I just have way too many ideas that I can’t make all at once and end up staring projects and abandoning them for others. This was 200% relatable, (also YES SOMEONE ELSE WHO LOVES WE HAPPY FEW IM OBSESSED WITH THAT GAME! lol great video, sorry for the long comment 😅)
Chuuya Nakahara has been my life since 2018 and when he "drowned" in chapter 108 was the genuine worst day of my life
I have same exact thing that you are talking about. For me for a very long time was a switch between all dark souls and blood borne games, as well as legend of zelda. My interest in dark souls even more prevelent, i bought art books, music, figurines, and heck an artorias sword letter opener. I love all the soulsborne games to a frighten degree. I funnel all that interest into an creative endeavor. I use those games and the witcher to create my own world and characters. I read even the myths and folk lore behind the creation of the places in the games.
So yea, i totally understand what your talking about of special interests.
This applies to me so much... I promised myself I'd never write a fanfic and now I've decided to write a BSD fanfic... Autism is a double-edged sword so it's difficult
I don’t have autism but it’s honestly so hard to draw anything that isn’t the series or game im obsessed with atm 💀💀 trying to draw anything else is so BORINNGGG
628 hours is wild, I would have probably done the same thing for this one game Oxenfree if my phone didn't give up on me
I've replayed the game like 3 times already
Oof. This is a relatable one
Warrior cats was my special interest between the ages of 10-14 and now I know how to draw cats and only cats 💀and even now that it’s cooled down somewhat cats are still an omnipresent special interest so I don’t even really get the urge to draw non-cats
Personally my trick for ‘I want to do this but there is so dopamine produced’ is to somehow connect it to my special interest, regardless of how little it makes sense. I kept myself interested in my original characters by effectively connecting them to characters from the current special interest (like those fanfics where it’s character set a re-enacts plot b, or like the oc took a ‘which character from special interest are you’ quiz)
Also y’all know that ‘oh no, it’s happening again’ (or, alternatively ‘oh yes, it’s happening again’) feeling when a new special interest is on the horizon? Feeling that for rain world right now
this is so real
it's been very weird bc for the past like 5 years one of my main interests has been my goofy little characters in their goofy little world. but the issue came in when it didn't feel like i had anyone else to talk about it with yo that was a _time_ -i say like it wasn't like two weeks ago-
i also have very obsessive special intrest. But whats diffrent is that i usually have up to 5 at a time. And i ritually cycle through them.
Its the weirdest thing too. Because they tend to be absolutly unrelated things. So i end up being an expert in very random stuff.
I also end up with 50 started large scale projects, that i might never finish
The neat part of this is that i found a way to trigger my brain to obsess over this one thing i want to obsess over. Usually by slowly giving me food for thought about it in moderation
As an Autistic Artist, this explains a lot. One of my special interest is ANYTHING Ancient Greece/Rome related. If you have known me for literally 30 minutes you will know Percy Jackson and the entire universe of it is literally my favorite thing. I mean it literally saved my life. But with saying that it takes over my creative outlits. Writing, Art, and theater are my other special interests (I have hyper fixations too, but special interests are different for me). I have sketchbooks to sketchbooks filled with Riordanverse (Percy Jackson universe) art. My writing is said that it reminds ppl or Rick riordan’s (the guy who wrote Percy Jackson) writing. My 2 favorite musicals are musicals that have to do with Greek mythology. (The lightning thief the musical, and EPIC: the musical). I literally wrote my and of quarter essay on “The Aenied of Virgil” because it is an epic of Greek mythology. It influences my art SO MUCH, but in result I can barely do things that have nothing to do with my special interest, because of it. That is why I tend to find a way to incorporate my special interest into it, so I can get it done.
But hey, who needs to focus when you can name all of the Olympian gods, the pre mortals, giants, titians, the infamous monsters, the most famous heroes, how Ancient Rome was founded, the rankings in Rome, etc 🤩 /sarc
I thought "oh I will watch that so I can regulate that" and in less than 10 minutes I was "oh ok something is clearly wrong.."
This is the most relatable video I've ever seen.
I have never related to a video more omg, especially because I went through the same thing with bungo (and still am ahh lol).
Omg BSD is my current special interest and it’s unhealthy how much I think about it… and might also be reading classical literature now
OH MY GOD UR ONE OF THE LAST FEW FANS OF DURARARA THAT STILL EXISTS-
but yeah special interests ruined my whole life fr
Stuff like this, more mild the farther back in the past it's set, have happened to me without causing much issue. However, my current obsession with making art about the amazing digital circus feels so useless. The actual theme of the show is the total opposite of the stuff I'm making, to the point where I pretend it's a joke when I show it to people because it's so absurdly convoluted, dark, and multilayered. That's also why I can't post it on social media, because I feel like most people who like tadc would be made really uncomfortable by my dark art. I'm just lucky it hasn't shot me straight out of SCP and Pitch Haven for any longer than it did. I'm finally, JUST NOW returning to being able to make that kind of stuff for Pitch Haven again, which suits that series far better than it does tadc.
Dang you too? Too many of us are late diagnosed, at least we know now though! Also does anyone else have a special interest in CZcams? I spend literally all day every day watching videos on here, and now that I make content myself I focus on how other people edit, make thumbnails, etc. It's crazy how much I focus on this stupid website 😭